Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Warner bros.

Bruce: As Batman, you must handle the widely varied tactics

of your criminal adversaries.

Some will try to distract you with bizarre gimmicks.

Hah!

Learn to use their weapons against them.

Huh!

These quirks have a pattern.

Recognizing them is the key to winning.

Aargh!

[Bones cracking]

Ha!

Unh! Oof!

Not too shabby, huh?

Better, though your execution could use more...

Finesse.

Hey, gets the job done.

Speaking of jobs,

yours is to get a replacement for this one after school.

So I tell this chick, "sure, I'll call...

When I'm desperate."

Nel-son.

How-ard.

Unh. Hope you didn't break your hand.

What do you want?

Big party at my place this weekend.

Parents are out of town.

And, hey, it's gonna be wild.

See you guys there, right?

Doubtful.

Great. Cool. Friday night.

So I tell this guy, "sure, we can date...

When I'm desperate."

Yo, blade, Chelsea.

I guess I'll be seein' you ladies at my shway party this Friday.

A party? Who else is going?

Well, I just spoke to Nelson

and... Some other guys,

and, you know, a lot of other kids.

Their names escape me at the moment.

[Giggling]

Super. See you there.

Social meltdown.

It's too painful to watch.

Hey, guys, I think we're lookin' at a packed house on Friday.

Relax, Howard. Forget the "a" list. It's degrading.

Only politicians chase after people who don't like them.

Terry, Max, and I are definitely going to be there.

Think of it as quality over quantity.

Gotta run. Small, intimate party might be fun.

I appreciate what you guys were saying,

but I still want a cool girlfriend

like Chelsea or blade.

Then kids would come to me.

It's a sign that you're somebody.

Somebody pretty shallow.

Shallow but popular.

[Alarm chirps]

Hey, the boss' car. How about a lift?

Sure, if you don't mind a side trip.

I have to run an errand for Mr. Wayne.

Aw, if I had wheels like these,

I'd get more girls than a rock star.

I did mention the whole shallow thing, didn't I?

Yes, Mr. Wayne's special order is ready.

He, uh, certainly goes through a lot of these synthoids.

You know old folks. Always breaking stuff.

You'll have to sign federal clearance form s-29y.

It's a new one.

Paperwork makes the world go round. I'll be right back.

This place is great.

Skip? Louie.

You can stop worrying about those lonely weekends.

Your custom order's ready.

Heh. Thought you'd be. Everything you wanted.

Blonde, dimples, the works.

Oh, brunette? My mistake.

Delivery's tonight. Behave yourself.

Hey, drifty, you got a purpose?

I'm here to pick up a special order.

Ahh, you want a custom job.

Something like that little synthoid number over there?

Sure, sure, yeah. I mean, can you?

Well, legally, no.

But for the right price, I'd shave a coyote.

Will this be enough?

Oh, yeah.

Tell me what you want, and I'll make it happen.

Personality-wise, she's gotta be completely devoted to me.

100% loyal.

Physically, around 5'7",

red hair, medium length,

and the coolest green eyes.

[Sounds of approval]

What's your name, doll?

I don't know.

First-day jitters, huh?

Hill high can be friendly, if you've got the right friends.

No, thanks. I'm only interested in him.

Excuse me, Nelson. She's out of your league.

Your friend got a name, groote?

Synth-thia.

Gotta run.

No way a nimbus like groote deserves a shway babe like that.

I'm gonna have to put him in his place.

You in here, groote? Come on out, Howie.

I wanna talk to ya.

Aah!

Nelson's pretty banged up.

Good thing he was still wearing his hockey pads.

Otherwise, he might have been killed.

How weird.

I mean, lockers don't just fall over.

Why dwell on it? Besides,

Nelson didn't seem like a very nice guy to begin with.

Brrr.

That girl's subarctic.

Are you nuts? This is the boys' locker room.

Yeah, I can smell the mildew.

What's up?

Check this out.

Hand prints?

They don't look big enough to knock over lockers.

No fingerprints, either.

Maybe he wore gloves or something.

[Guys laughing]

[Gasps]

Ter, you gotta get me out of here.

How?

I don't know. Think of something.

I'll let Mr. silverstein know you'll be late.

You are so dead, mcginnis.

Like I was saying,

kickoff time for the party of the century...

My party... Is 8 P.M. tonight.

When it ends is up to you.

[All agree]

If you're not too busy being Mr. Host,

maybe I can pry you away from Cynthia for a dance.

You're talking to Howard groote.

All things are possible.

My notebook!

I'm very sorry, Howard.

You know I didn't mean to.

I would never do anything to upset you.

That's ok. It happens.

They don't make plastics like they used to.

See you tonight, Howie.

Terry: Nice view, huh?

You wouldn't be the jealous type, would you, Cynthia?

Excuse me. I've known Howard for quite awhile.

How long have you known him?

All my life.

Come on, Cynthia, who are you?

Where do you come from? What's the real deal with you and Howard?

I'm very devoted to Howard.

100% loyal.

Unh! Ooh!

Aah!

No way.

A synthoid?

Looks that way.

I didn't know they made androids

that could double for people.

They're not supposed to.

I'm gonna have to check it out.

When you get to the party, keep an eye on Cynthia, ok?

Oh, and let Dana know I'll be a little late.

You live dangerously, mcginnis.

So I said... whoa!

Yes, Mr. drago, that's no problem.

All six can look like keno girls.

Uh-huh, we're very discreet.

Batman: But I'm a big blabbermouth.

Your little sideline's over, pal.

You oughtta look into getting a synthoid, bat freak.

It'll give you something to do on Friday night.

[Electronics whirring]

Come on, right now! Let's finish it.

What's the matter, no guts?

Wait a minute.

Whoa!

Hey, hey, hey. You got me.

Can't we work something out?

Maybe I could give you a little tip

or something to forget all of this.

Let me give you a tip.

Get a good lawyer.

[Dance music plays]

Maybe you can walk me home.

We won't have to walk.

That's right, 10 goals in one game.

But you lost.

I think it was barton buger who said...

Who wants to sail the night...

Hey, Howard, we should double date sometime.

I'd be up for that.

Actually, I'd be interested in single dating you anytime.

I'll try to squeeze you in.

Aah! Unh.

Whoa, Cynthia, come on. It was nothing.

Take it easy, girl.

Ow! Oof!

That's enough!

You and I are gonna have a little talk.

Hey, Howie, great cheese dingles.

Where are you two going, private party?

Huh. Yeah... Sure.

I'm goin' to jail.

[Door closes]

[Howie dials phone]

Pick up, Louie.

I need a little support service here.

You don't like me anymore.

I do, Cynthia.

I just have to fix something in your command processor

so you don't shove people around.

But I am what you wanted me to be, Howard.

I just didn't mean quite so intense.

You're hurting people.

We won't need other people.

You're my only reason for being.

I'd go to pieces without you.

Cynthia. Cynthia!

Keep your hands to your... Cynthia!

Go, Howard.

We can be together forever.

Forever's a long time. A real long time.

And I'm kinda young.

Which means we'll have even more time together.

Cynthia, listen. We have to talk.

The fact is, this relationship isn't working.

You're way too possessive.

It was great in the beginning, but now, I...

You what?

I want to see other girls.

Oh, this isn't good.

Sounds like you really got her wound up.

You don't know the half of it. Aah!

Aah! Aah!

[Music playing]

This chick was... hey!

Ok, that's it.

No more nachos.

Party's over. Get out.

What's going on, man? Party's just started.

Howard, you can't do this to me.

Cynthia, please.

[Whimpers]

Ok, robo-bim, round 2.

Down, girlfriend. Huh. [Straining]

Uh, hope I wasn't out of line with that robo-bim crack.

Unh. Ahh... Aah!

Ooh. Unh.

That's one way out of a bad date.

Grrr...

Whoa. Uh-oh.

[Gasps]

Hyah! Unh.

It's so shway.

Cynthia's a robot, and Batman's kicking her butt.

Hyah! Ah!

[Gasps]

Cynthia, can't we work something out?

Just because I wanna date others

doesn't mean we can't occasionally see each other.

Howard, don't you understand?

I was created for you.

I know, but people change.

Synthoids get reprogrammed.

These things happen.

We can still be friends.

Ohh...

Friends?

Friends?!

Wrong thing to say?

Is it ever the right thing?

She's gonna blow!

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Aaahh... oof!

Howard!

Now that is a party. That's a great time!

Well, been there, done that. Let's go to another party.

Shway party, Howard.

It takes real guts to blow up your own home.

Yeah, kids are gonna talk about this night for years.

You're a legend.

[Sirens]

Yo, Chelsea, I saved that dance for you.

Huh! Get a life, toy boy.

Whoa, what the heck happened?

The party peaked early.

Just look at it.

How could this be any worse?

[Tires screech]

Howard!

[Gasps] Oh!

See ya.

Mom, dad, I thought you had another week in Madrid.

We did until you maxed out our credit card.

What in blazes did you buy with it, dynamite?!

Dynamite to blow up the house with?!

I think Howard needs some quality time alone with his folks.

You think they'll ground him?

Howard's dad: Your mother's antique doll collection...

Captioning made possible by Warner bros.

Captioned by the national captioning institute. Www.Ncicap.Org...

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