Original subtitles

[ CLOCK TICKING ]

>> [ SIGHS ]

[ Ringing ]

[ Click, dial tone ]

>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

>> OHH.

>> [ GROANS ]

>> OH.

TAXI! MERCI BEAUCOUP.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

>> [ MUTTERS ]

[ SOBBING ] [ SIREN WAILS ] [ SIREN WAILING ]

[ BEEP ] >> Hi, Michael. It's Linda from

>> Hi, Michael. It's Linda from Manhattan Realty.

It's Linda from Manhattan Realty. Congratulations on selling the

Manhattan Realty. Congratulations on selling the apartment.

Congratulations on selling the apartment. Sorry we couldn't get your

apartment. Sorry we couldn't get your asking price, but selling any

Sorry we couldn't get your asking price, but selling any two-bedroom on the

asking price, but selling any two-bedroom on the Upper West Side in this market

two-bedroom on the Upper West Side in this market is a victory.

Upper West Side in this market is a victory. You should feel great.

is a victory. You should feel great. Good luck in your new place.

>> CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE, MISS? MISS, PLEASE?

MISS? MISS, PLEASE? EXCUSE ME.

MISS, PLEASE? EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE,

EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE, PLEASE, SIR?

CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE, PLEASE, SIR? >> SORRY, BRO.

PLEASE, SIR? >> SORRY, BRO. >> I BET YOU ARE.

>> SORRY, BRO. >> I BET YOU ARE. EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT YOU CAN'T

>> I BET YOU ARE. EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT YOU CAN'T SPARE NOT EVEN A QUARTER, RIGHT?

EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT YOU CAN'T SPARE NOT EVEN A QUARTER, RIGHT? >> I'M $600,000 IN DEBT.

SPARE NOT EVEN A QUARTER, RIGHT? >> I'M $600,000 IN DEBT. >> DAMN!

>> I'M $600,000 IN DEBT. >> DAMN! YOU WANT SOME STICKY RICE?

>> DAMN! YOU WANT SOME STICKY RICE? >> NO, THANKS.

YOU WANT SOME STICKY RICE? >> NO, THANKS. >> EXCUSE ME.

>> NO, THANKS. >> EXCUSE ME. I'M SO SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT,

>> EXCUSE ME. I'M SO SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT, UM, ARE YOU MICHAEL SHIVER?

I'M SO SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT, UM, ARE YOU MICHAEL SHIVER? >> YEAH.

UM, ARE YOU MICHAEL SHIVER? >> YEAH. >> OH, MY GOD.

>> YEAH. >> OH, MY GOD. I LOVED "FALL."

>> OH, MY GOD. I LOVED "FALL." I MUST HAVE READ IT LIKE 10

I LOVED "FALL." I MUST HAVE READ IT LIKE 10 TIMES MY SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH

I MUST HAVE READ IT LIKE 10 TIMES MY SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL.

TIMES MY SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL. >> THANKS.

SCHOOL. >> THANKS. >> WHY HAVEN'T YOU WRITTEN

>> THANKS. >> WHY HAVEN'T YOU WRITTEN ANOTHER BOOK SINCE?

>> WHY HAVEN'T YOU WRITTEN ANOTHER BOOK SINCE? >> I DID -- TWO, ACTUALLY.

ANOTHER BOOK SINCE? >> I DID -- TWO, ACTUALLY. >> OH. OKAY.

>> I DID -- TWO, ACTUALLY. >> OH. OKAY. >> I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, BUT

>> OH. OKAY. >> I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, BUT I GOT TO -- I GOT TO GO, SO...

>> I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, BUT I GOT TO -- I GOT TO GO, SO... >> OKAY.

I GOT TO -- I GOT TO GO, SO... >> OKAY. THANK YOU FOR WRITING THOSE

>> OKAY. THANK YOU FOR WRITING THOSE BOOKS.

THANK YOU FOR WRITING THOSE BOOKS. DID THEY WIND UP TOGETHER IN THE

BOOKS. DID THEY WIND UP TOGETHER IN THE END?!

DID THEY WIND UP TOGETHER IN THE END?! IT'S SO AMBIGUOUS.

END?! IT'S SO AMBIGUOUS. IT ALWAYS KILLED ME.

IT'S SO AMBIGUOUS. IT ALWAYS KILLED ME. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT ALWAYS KILLED ME. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK? >> I THINK THEY DID.

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK? >> I THINK THEY DID. >> THEN I GUESS THEY DID.

>> I THINK THEY DID. >> THEN I GUESS THEY DID. >> [ LAUGHS ]

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

>> ANSWER MY QUESTION! >> AND IF I WAS? AND IF I WAS? >> YOU KNOW WHAT?

>> AND IF I WAS? AND IF I WAS? >> YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T YOU FUCKING PLAY WITH ME.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T YOU FUCKING PLAY WITH ME. IF I FIND OUT YOU WAS FUCKING

DON'T YOU FUCKING PLAY WITH ME. IF I FIND OUT YOU WAS FUCKING MIGUEL, I'M GONNA CUT BOTH

IF I FIND OUT YOU WAS FUCKING MIGUEL, I'M GONNA CUT BOTH Y'ALL'S FUCKING HEADS OFF.

MIGUEL, I'M GONNA CUT BOTH Y'ALL'S FUCKING HEADS OFF. NO, FUCK YOU!

Y'ALL'S FUCKING HEADS OFF. NO, FUCK YOU! >> WHAT ABOUT JOLISA, UH-HUH?

NO, FUCK YOU! >> WHAT ABOUT JOLISA, UH-HUH? AND MARIE? WHAT ABOUT THEM?

>> WHAT ABOUT JOLISA, UH-HUH? AND MARIE? WHAT ABOUT THEM? >> THEM BITCHES DIDN'T MEAN SHIT

AND MARIE? WHAT ABOUT THEM? >> THEM BITCHES DIDN'T MEAN SHIT TO ME!

>> THEM BITCHES DIDN'T MEAN SHIT TO ME! >> [ SIGHS ]

TO ME! >> [ SIGHS ] [ TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> DON'T FUCK WITH ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I DON'T MIND GOING ON VACATION

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I DON'T MIND GOING ON VACATION AGAIN.

I DON'T MIND GOING ON VACATION AGAIN. BITCH, CALL HIM!

AGAIN. BITCH, CALL HIM! CALL HIM, CALL HIM!

BITCH, CALL HIM! CALL HIM, CALL HIM! CALL HIM!

CALL HIM, CALL HIM! CALL HIM! >> GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!

CALL HIM! >> GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! [ SIREN WAILING ]

>> HOW IS YOUR NEW MANUSCRIPT SELLING, BY THE WAY? >> IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT.

SELLING, BY THE WAY? >> IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT. PUBLISHERS ARE NOT INTERESTED.

>> IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT. PUBLISHERS ARE NOT INTERESTED. THERE'S STILL A COUPLE MORE

PUBLISHERS ARE NOT INTERESTED. THERE'S STILL A COUPLE MORE WE'RE OUT TO, BUT...

THERE'S STILL A COUPLE MORE WE'RE OUT TO, BUT... [ SIGHS ] I'M JUST -- I'M JUST

WE'RE OUT TO, BUT... [ SIGHS ] I'M JUST -- I'M JUST OVER IT, OKAY?

[ SIGHS ] I'M JUST -- I'M JUST OVER IT, OKAY? I'M DONE.

OVER IT, OKAY? I'M DONE. IF THIS BOOK DOESN'T SELL...

I'M DONE. IF THIS BOOK DOESN'T SELL... I refuse to write the kinds of

IF THIS BOOK DOESN'T SELL... I refuse to write the kinds of books that the kinds of people

I refuse to write the kinds of books that the kinds of people who buy books want to read.

books that the kinds of people who buy books want to read. >> YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO?

who buy books want to read. >> YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? Oh, my God. I'm a genius.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? Oh, my God. I'm a genius. >> WHAT?

Oh, my God. I'm a genius. >> WHAT? >> COME TO PARIS!

>> WHAT? >> COME TO PARIS! I have a nice apartment in

>> COME TO PARIS! I have a nice apartment in Montmartre.

I have a nice apartment in Montmartre. JUST COME.

Montmartre. JUST COME. YOU'LL GET A NEW PERSPECTIVE.

JUST COME. YOU'LL GET A NEW PERSPECTIVE. >> I DON'T KNOW.

YOU'LL GET A NEW PERSPECTIVE. >> I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T BEEN BACK TO PARIS

>> I DON'T KNOW. I HAVEN'T BEEN BACK TO PARIS SINCE SARAH AND I BROKE UP.

I HAVEN'T BEEN BACK TO PARIS SINCE SARAH AND I BROKE UP. >> OH, I MEAN, IT'S HIGH TIME

SINCE SARAH AND I BROKE UP. >> OH, I MEAN, IT'S HIGH TIME YOU EXORCISED YOUR DEMONS.

>> OH, I MEAN, IT'S HIGH TIME YOU EXORCISED YOUR DEMONS. FOR GOD'S SAKES, MAN, THAT WAS,

YOU EXORCISED YOUR DEMONS. FOR GOD'S SAKES, MAN, THAT WAS, WHAT, 15 YEARS AGO?

FOR GOD'S SAKES, MAN, THAT WAS, WHAT, 15 YEARS AGO? You'll be fine.

WHAT, 15 YEARS AGO? You'll be fine. You're in a funk.

You'll be fine. You're in a funk. OKAY, MIKE, I'M SORRY, BUT I GOT

You're in a funk. OKAY, MIKE, I'M SORRY, BUT I GOT TO GO.

OKAY, MIKE, I'M SORRY, BUT I GOT TO GO. COME TO PARIS, OKAY?

TO GO. COME TO PARIS, OKAY? Just come.

COME TO PARIS, OKAY? Just come. [ Click ]

>> [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] GOD'S PRESENCE HAS ALWAYS BEEN UNDENIABLE IN MY LIFE.

GOD'S PRESENCE HAS ALWAYS BEEN UNDENIABLE IN MY LIFE. IT'S MY PRESENCE THAT HAS OFTEN

UNDENIABLE IN MY LIFE. IT'S MY PRESENCE THAT HAS OFTEN BEEN SUSPECT.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

>> MERCI.

[ SIGHS ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ SMACKING NOISES ]

[ SIGHS ]

>> [ COUGHS ] [ DOORBELL RINGS ] >> MOM, MICHAEL'S HERE FROM

[ DOORBELL RINGS ] >> MOM, MICHAEL'S HERE FROM STATES.

>> MOM, MICHAEL'S HERE FROM STATES. >> WHAT'S THAT, CHéRI?

STATES. >> WHAT'S THAT, CHéRI? MICHAEL!

>> WHAT'S THAT, CHéRI? MICHAEL! >> HEY, MAN.

MICHAEL! >> HEY, MAN. >> I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

>> HEY, MAN. >> I DON'T BELIEVE IT! YOU CAME!

>> I DON'T BELIEVE IT! YOU CAME! >> I DID. I DID. I CAME.

YOU CAME! >> I DID. I DID. I CAME. >> OH!

>> I DID. I DID. I CAME. >> OH! >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

>> OH! >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? >> HE INVITED ME, AND I FIGURED

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? >> HE INVITED ME, AND I FIGURED I'D SURPRISE YOU GUYS.

>> HE INVITED ME, AND I FIGURED I'D SURPRISE YOU GUYS. >> HE WAS DEPRESSED, SO I TOLD

I'D SURPRISE YOU GUYS. >> HE WAS DEPRESSED, SO I TOLD HIM TO COME OVER.

>> HE WAS DEPRESSED, SO I TOLD HIM TO COME OVER. HE'S STAYING AT MY FATHER'S

HIM TO COME OVER. HE'S STAYING AT MY FATHER'S STUDIO.

HE'S STAYING AT MY FATHER'S STUDIO. >> HOW GREAT.

STUDIO. >> HOW GREAT. YOU CAN KEEP HIM COMPANY ON THE

>> HOW GREAT. YOU CAN KEEP HIM COMPANY ON THE NIGHTS I KICK HIM OUT OF THE

YOU CAN KEEP HIM COMPANY ON THE NIGHTS I KICK HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE.

NIGHTS I KICK HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE. [ LAUGHS ] JUST KIDDING.

HOUSE. [ LAUGHS ] JUST KIDDING. HOW GREAT TO SEE YOU! OH!

[ LAUGHS ] JUST KIDDING. HOW GREAT TO SEE YOU! OH! >> IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.

HOW GREAT TO SEE YOU! OH! >> IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. [ WATER RUNNING ]

[ WATER STOPS ] THIS PLACE IS AMAZING. >> YEAH.

THIS PLACE IS AMAZING. >> YEAH. MY FATHER BOUGHT IT IN THE '40s.

>> YEAH. MY FATHER BOUGHT IT IN THE '40s. HE USED IT AS KIND OF AN OFFICE.

MY FATHER BOUGHT IT IN THE '40s. HE USED IT AS KIND OF AN OFFICE. I'M GLAD YOU CAME.

HE USED IT AS KIND OF AN OFFICE. I'M GLAD YOU CAME. I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY

I'M GLAD YOU CAME. I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY GOOD FOR YOU.

I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY GOOD FOR YOU. >> [ SCOFFS ] I HOPE SO.

GOOD FOR YOU. >> [ SCOFFS ] I HOPE SO. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> [ SCOFFS ] I HOPE SO. >> [ CHUCKLES ] [ SIREN WAILING ]

>> [ CHUCKLES ] [ SIREN WAILING ] [ COUGHS ]

[ SIREN WAILING ] [ COUGHS ] [ BUZZER SOUNDS ]

[ COUGHS ] [ BUZZER SOUNDS ] [ SNIFFS, SIGHS ]

[ BUZZER SOUNDS ] [ SNIFFS, SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT. SO...

[ SNIFFS, SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT. SO... YOU HAVE A LITTLE SHOP DOWN

ALL RIGHT. SO... YOU HAVE A LITTLE SHOP DOWN THERE FOR FRUITS AND WATER.

YOU HAVE A LITTLE SHOP DOWN THERE FOR FRUITS AND WATER. >> OKAY.

THERE FOR FRUITS AND WATER. >> OKAY. >> SACRé-COEUR IS JUST UP THERE.

>> OKAY. >> SACRé-COEUR IS JUST UP THERE. >> YEAH.

>> SACRé-COEUR IS JUST UP THERE. >> YEAH. >> AND LAMARCK-CAULAINCOURT WILL

>> YEAH. >> AND LAMARCK-CAULAINCOURT WILL BE YOUR METRO.

>> AND LAMARCK-CAULAINCOURT WILL BE YOUR METRO. YOU REMEMBER?

BE YOUR METRO. YOU REMEMBER? >> DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU REMEMBER? >> DOESN'T MATTER. PARIS IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN

>> DOESN'T MATTER. PARIS IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN BE LOST AND FOUND AT THE SAME

PARIS IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN BE LOST AND FOUND AT THE SAME TIME.

BE LOST AND FOUND AT THE SAME TIME. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

TIME. >> [ CHUCKLES ] >> THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME,

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME, CHARLES.

>> THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME, CHARLES. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

CHARLES. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.

I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. >> IT'S A PLEASURE, BUDDY.

IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. >> IT'S A PLEASURE, BUDDY. >> YEAH. I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

>> IT'S A PLEASURE, BUDDY. >> YEAH. I'LL SEE YOU SOON. >> HAVE FUN.

>> YEAH. I'LL SEE YOU SOON. >> HAVE FUN. >> OKAY.

>> HAVE FUN. >> OKAY. >> YOU TAKE CARE.

>> OKAY. >> YOU TAKE CARE. >> OKAY.

>> [ SPEAKING FRENCH ] [ SMOOCHES ]

>> [ SINGING IN FRENCH ]

>> OH! >> OH, OH, IT'S -- IT'S NOT MINE.

NO, BUT I DIDN'T DROP IT. >> GOD WANTS YOU TO HAVE IT. YOU KNOW, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

>> GOD WANTS YOU TO HAVE IT. YOU KNOW, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY. WELCOME TO PARIS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY. WELCOME TO PARIS. YOU KNOW, I HATE TO ASK, BUT DO

WELCOME TO PARIS. YOU KNOW, I HATE TO ASK, BUT DO YOU HAVE A FEW EUROS, I CAN GET

YOU KNOW, I HATE TO ASK, BUT DO YOU HAVE A FEW EUROS, I CAN GET SOMETHING TO EAT?

YOU HAVE A FEW EUROS, I CAN GET SOMETHING TO EAT? >> YEAH. YEAH, SURE.

SOMETHING TO EAT? >> YEAH. YEAH, SURE. >> YOU'RE VERY KIND.

>> YEAH. YEAH, SURE. >> YOU'RE VERY KIND. GOD PICKED THE RIGHT MAN TO

>> YOU'RE VERY KIND. GOD PICKED THE RIGHT MAN TO GRACE.

GOD PICKED THE RIGHT MAN TO GRACE. >> TAKE THIS -- BUT ALSO, TAKE

GRACE. >> TAKE THIS -- BUT ALSO, TAKE THE RING, TAKE THE RING.

>> TAKE THIS -- BUT ALSO, TAKE THE RING, TAKE THE RING. >> NO, NO.

THE RING, TAKE THE RING. >> NO, NO. >> NO, YOU CAN -- YOU CAN SELL

>> NO, NO. >> NO, YOU CAN -- YOU CAN SELL IT.

>> NO, YOU CAN -- YOU CAN SELL IT. >> NO!

IT. >> NO! >> TAKE IT.

>> NO! >> TAKE IT. >> THAT WAS MEANT FOR YOU.

>> TAKE IT. >> THAT WAS MEANT FOR YOU. IT WAS AT YOUR FEET.

>> THAT WAS MEANT FOR YOU. IT WAS AT YOUR FEET. >> IT'S -- IT'S A LADY'S RING

IT WAS AT YOUR FEET. >> IT'S -- IT'S A LADY'S RING ANYWAY.

>> IT'S -- IT'S A LADY'S RING ANYWAY. >> WELL, THEN, GIVE IT TO A

ANYWAY. >> WELL, THEN, GIVE IT TO A LADY.

>> WELL, THEN, GIVE IT TO A LADY. [ CHUCKLES ]

LADY. [ CHUCKLES ] >> I WISH I HAD ONE TO GIVE IT

[ CHUCKLES ] >> I WISH I HAD ONE TO GIVE IT TO.

>> I WISH I HAD ONE TO GIVE IT TO. >> YOU WILL HAVE ONE SOON NOW.

>> [ SIGHS ] >> [ SPEAKING FRENCH ]

[ HORN HONKS ]

[ CONVERSING IN FRENCH ]

>> YOU'RE STRICT. HOW DO YOU SAY "YOU'RE STRICT" IN FRENCH -- "YOU'RE STRICT"?

>> MERCI. >> YOU'RE -- YOU'RE HARD. YOU'RE, LIKE -- YOU'RE STRICT

>> YOU'RE -- YOU'RE HARD. YOU'RE, LIKE -- YOU'RE STRICT WITH THE LITTLE DOGGY.

IS THAT HOW YOU ARE WHEN YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, LIKE WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE, LIKE WITH A --

HAVE A BOYFRIEND, LIKE WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE, LIKE WITH A -- WITH A BOYFRIEND -- STRICT?

YOU'RE IN LOVE, LIKE WITH A -- WITH A BOYFRIEND -- STRICT? YOU DISCIPLINE HIM HARD LIKE

WITH A BOYFRIEND -- STRICT? YOU DISCIPLINE HIM HARD LIKE THAT?

>> [ LAUGHS ] >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING TO ME, BUT I COULD WATCH

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING TO ME, BUT I COULD WATCH YOU SAY IT FOREVER.

SAYING TO ME, BUT I COULD WATCH YOU SAY IT FOREVER. >> OKAY.

>> WAIT, WAIT. MA'AM. MA-- [ SIGHS ]

MA'AM. MA-- [ SIGHS ] SO, HOW MUCH ARE THOSE ORANGES?

[ SIGHS ] SO, HOW MUCH ARE THOSE ORANGES? >> BONSOIR.

SO, HOW MUCH ARE THOSE ORANGES? >> BONSOIR. >> BONSOIR.

>> BONSOIR. >> BONSOIR. >> TRèS BIEN.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

>> [ LAUGHS ]

[ GROANS ]

[ SCREAMS ] [ GROANING ] [ DOG BARKING ]

>> Shh!

Shh. Shh!

>> NO, NO, NO, NO!

OUI, OUI, OUI, OUI!

>> OKAY. >> NO, NO, NO! [ SHOUTING IN FRENCH ]

>> NO, NO, NO! [ SHOUTING IN FRENCH ] >> [ LAUGHS ]

[ SHOUTING IN FRENCH ] >> [ LAUGHS ] >> [ SPITTING ]

>> C'EST BIEN. >> NO, NO, NO, NO. AAH!

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

[ SIGHS ]

>> DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? >> DOWNSTAIRS. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

>> DOWNSTAIRS. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] >> ENTRES.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ] >> ENTRES. >> I'M -- I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE.

>> ENTRES. >> I'M -- I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE. >> IT'S POLITE TO SAY HELLO WHEN

>> I'M -- I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE. >> IT'S POLITE TO SAY HELLO WHEN YOU FIRST SEE SOMEONE.

>> IT'S POLITE TO SAY HELLO WHEN YOU FIRST SEE SOMEONE. >> OH, EXCUSE ME. HELLO.

YOU FIRST SEE SOMEONE. >> OH, EXCUSE ME. HELLO. I'M MICHAEL.

>> OH, EXCUSE ME. HELLO. I'M MICHAEL. >> HELLO, MICHAEL.

I'M MICHAEL. >> HELLO, MICHAEL. I'M NATALIE.

>> HELLO, MICHAEL. I'M NATALIE. HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE.

I'M NATALIE. HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE. >> THANK YOU.

>> BIG, FANCY AMERICAN WRITER. YOU DON'T LOOK VERY FANCY NOW, DO YOU?

YOU DON'T LOOK VERY FANCY NOW, DO YOU? YOU LOOK PUNY AND SMALL.

DO YOU? YOU LOOK PUNY AND SMALL. YOU'RE PATHETIC.

YOU LOOK PUNY AND SMALL. YOU'RE PATHETIC. YOU'RE LUCKY I WOULD PAY ANY

YOU'RE PATHETIC. YOU'RE LUCKY I WOULD PAY ANY ATTENTION TO YOU AT ALL, EVEN TO

YOU'RE LUCKY I WOULD PAY ANY ATTENTION TO YOU AT ALL, EVEN TO USE YOU FOR MY ENJOYMENT.

ATTENTION TO YOU AT ALL, EVEN TO USE YOU FOR MY ENJOYMENT. NO MONEY, NO CAREER, NO WOMAN.

USE YOU FOR MY ENJOYMENT. NO MONEY, NO CAREER, NO WOMAN. YOU USED TO BE BELOVED, DIDN'T

NO MONEY, NO CAREER, NO WOMAN. YOU USED TO BE BELOVED, DIDN'T YOU?

YOU USED TO BE BELOVED, DIDN'T YOU? BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR

YOU? BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BOOKS ANYMORE.

BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BOOKS ANYMORE. YOUR TIME IS PAST.

BOOKS ANYMORE. YOUR TIME IS PAST. I WANT TO READ SOME FRESH, YOUNG

YOUR TIME IS PAST. I WANT TO READ SOME FRESH, YOUNG AUTHORS, NOT DELUDED,

I WANT TO READ SOME FRESH, YOUNG AUTHORS, NOT DELUDED, SELF-OBSESSED NARCISSISTS.

AUTHORS, NOT DELUDED, SELF-OBSESSED NARCISSISTS. THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

SELF-OBSESSED NARCISSISTS. THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU THINKING YOUR LIFE IS

THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU THINKING YOUR LIFE IS INTERESTING AND ANYONE ELSE

YOU THINKING YOUR LIFE IS INTERESTING AND ANYONE ELSE THINKING IT IS.

INTERESTING AND ANYONE ELSE THINKING IT IS. >> [ EXHALES SHARPLY, COUGHS ]

THINKING IT IS. >> [ EXHALES SHARPLY, COUGHS ] >> AND LET ME ASSURE YOU, NO ONE

>> [ EXHALES SHARPLY, COUGHS ] >> AND LET ME ASSURE YOU, NO ONE DOES.

>> THERE YOU GO. >> MERCI, MICHAEL. >> HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO?

>> MERCI, MICHAEL. >> HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>> HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> LIKE, HURTING SOMEBODY.

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> LIKE, HURTING SOMEBODY. >> I WOULD NEVER INJURE SOMEONE

>> LIKE, HURTING SOMEBODY. >> I WOULD NEVER INJURE SOMEONE FOREVER.

>> I WOULD NEVER INJURE SOMEONE FOREVER. I WOULDN'T CUT THEIR BALLS OFF,

FOREVER. I WOULDN'T CUT THEIR BALLS OFF, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.

I WOULDN'T CUT THEIR BALLS OFF, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN. ONLY PAIN, BUT IT GOES AWAY...

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN. ONLY PAIN, BUT IT GOES AWAY... couple of days or so.

ONLY PAIN, BUT IT GOES AWAY... couple of days or so. >> ARE THERE DOMINATRIXES THAT

couple of days or so. >> ARE THERE DOMINATRIXES THAT WILL GO FARTHER?

>> ARE THERE DOMINATRIXES THAT WILL GO FARTHER? >> OF COURSE.

WILL GO FARTHER? >> OF COURSE. >> LIKE...KILL SOMEONE?

>> OF COURSE. >> LIKE...KILL SOMEONE? >> NO. OF COURSE NOT.

>> LIKE...KILL SOMEONE? >> NO. OF COURSE NOT. THAT'S NOT BDSM. THAT'S MURDER.

>> NO. OF COURSE NOT. THAT'S NOT BDSM. THAT'S MURDER. >> SO YOU NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE

THAT'S NOT BDSM. THAT'S MURDER. >> SO YOU NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE LIKE THAT?

>> SO YOU NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE LIKE THAT? >> I HEARD OF ONE CRAZY GIRL

LIKE THAT? >> I HEARD OF ONE CRAZY GIRL WHO WOULD DO THIS.

>> I HEARD OF ONE CRAZY GIRL WHO WOULD DO THIS. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TRUE.

WHO WOULD DO THIS. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TRUE. >> REALLY? WOW.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TRUE. >> REALLY? WOW. >> YEAH.

>> REALLY? WOW. >> YEAH. [ BEEP ]

>> YEAH. [ BEEP ] >> Hi, Michael. It's Charles.

[ BEEP ] >> Hi, Michael. It's Charles. Hope you're comfortable.

>> Hi, Michael. It's Charles. Hope you're comfortable. Caroline and the kids want To

Hope you're comfortable. Caroline and the kids want To make sure you're coming for

Caroline and the kids want To make sure you're coming for Christmas.

make sure you're coming for Christmas. No excuses.

Christmas. No excuses. See you then.

No excuses. See you then. >> END OF NEW MESSAGES.

See you then. >> END OF NEW MESSAGES. TO LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGES,

>> END OF NEW MESSAGES. TO LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGES, PRESS 1.

TO LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGES, PRESS 1. TO SEND A MESSAGE, PRESS...

>> [ SPEAKING FRENCH ] >> BONJOUR! >> [ SIGHS ] BONJOUR.

>> BONJOUR! >> [ SIGHS ] BONJOUR. >> BONJOUR.

>> [ SIGHS ] BONJOUR. >> BONJOUR. >> BONJOUR, BONJOUR.

>> BONJOUR. >> BONJOUR, BONJOUR. LOOK, I'M -- I'M SORRY.

>> BONJOUR, BONJOUR. LOOK, I'M -- I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY LATE.

LOOK, I'M -- I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY LATE. DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE THE BIKE?

I'M REALLY LATE. DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE THE BIKE? PLEASE.

DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE THE BIKE? PLEASE. >> YOU'RE -- YOU DIDN'T -- I

PLEASE. >> YOU'RE -- YOU DIDN'T -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER.

>> YOU'RE -- YOU DIDN'T -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER. WE -- WE MET LAST NIGHT IN THIS

DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER. WE -- WE MET LAST NIGHT IN THIS LITTLE BODEGA -- THE ORANGE

WE -- WE MET LAST NIGHT IN THIS LITTLE BODEGA -- THE ORANGE STORE.

LITTLE BODEGA -- THE ORANGE STORE. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

STORE. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I REMEMBER.

>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I REMEMBER. >> YOU HAD THE LITTLE DOG.

I REMEMBER. >> YOU HAD THE LITTLE DOG. >> MM-HMM.

>> YOU HAD THE LITTLE DOG. >> MM-HMM. >> YEAH.

>> MM-HMM. >> YEAH. YOU -- YOU DIDN'T -- YOU

>> YEAH. YOU -- YOU DIDN'T -- YOU DIDN'T -- I DON'T -- I'M NOT --

YOU -- YOU DIDN'T -- YOU DIDN'T -- I DON'T -- I'M NOT -- I WAS JET-LAGGED. I DON'T KNOW.

DIDN'T -- I DON'T -- I'M NOT -- I WAS JET-LAGGED. I DON'T KNOW. BUT I DON'T REMEMBER YOU REALLY

I WAS JET-LAGGED. I DON'T KNOW. BUT I DON'T REMEMBER YOU REALLY SPEAKING ENGLISH AT ALL,

BUT I DON'T REMEMBER YOU REALLY SPEAKING ENGLISH AT ALL, CERTAINLY NOT THIS WELL.

SPEAKING ENGLISH AT ALL, CERTAINLY NOT THIS WELL. DID YOU -- DID YOU?

CERTAINLY NOT THIS WELL. DID YOU -- DID YOU? >> SO, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO DO

DID YOU -- DID YOU? >> SO, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO DO WITH THE BIKE?

>> SO, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO DO WITH THE BIKE? >> [ SIGHS ]

WITH THE BIKE? >> [ SIGHS ] I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE.

>> [ SIGHS ] I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE. JUST GET IN THE BASKET.

I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE. JUST GET IN THE BASKET. I'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT.

JUST GET IN THE BASKET. I'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT. [ BELL RINGS ]

I'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT. [ BELL RINGS ] SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

[ BELL RINGS ] SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? I'M MICHAEL.

SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? I'M MICHAEL. WHY DON'T WE CANCEL OUR PLANS

I'M MICHAEL. WHY DON'T WE CANCEL OUR PLANS AND JUST GO HAVE DINNER?

WHY DON'T WE CANCEL OUR PLANS AND JUST GO HAVE DINNER? WHAT DO YOU SAY?

AND JUST GO HAVE DINNER? WHAT DO YOU SAY? COME ON.

WHAT DO YOU SAY? COME ON. IT'S THE FUN OF BEING BIG.

COME ON. IT'S THE FUN OF BEING BIG. WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT.

IT'S THE FUN OF BEING BIG. WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT. >> YEAH, BUT WE HAVE TO DEAL

WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT. >> YEAH, BUT WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.

>> YEAH, BUT WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. >> OH, COME ON.

WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. >> OH, COME ON. IF YOUR FRIENDS ARE GOOD

>> OH, COME ON. IF YOUR FRIENDS ARE GOOD FRIENDS, THEY'RE GONNA BE MORE

IF YOUR FRIENDS ARE GOOD FRIENDS, THEY'RE GONNA BE MORE EXCITED ABOUT THIS GREAT STORY

FRIENDS, THEY'RE GONNA BE MORE EXCITED ABOUT THIS GREAT STORY OF OUR FIRST DATE THAN PISSED

EXCITED ABOUT THIS GREAT STORY OF OUR FIRST DATE THAN PISSED OFF THAT YOU CANCELED AT THE

OF OUR FIRST DATE THAN PISSED OFF THAT YOU CANCELED AT THE LAST MINUTE.

OFF THAT YOU CANCELED AT THE LAST MINUTE. I MEAN, WHO CARES?

LAST MINUTE. I MEAN, WHO CARES? >> HOW'D YOU KNOW I'M MEETING

I MEAN, WHO CARES? >> HOW'D YOU KNOW I'M MEETING FRIENDS?

>> HOW'D YOU KNOW I'M MEETING FRIENDS? >> ARE YOU MEETING YOUR

FRIENDS? >> ARE YOU MEETING YOUR BOYFRIEND?

>> ARE YOU MEETING YOUR BOYFRIEND? >> WHY WOULD I TELL YOU?

BOYFRIEND? >> WHY WOULD I TELL YOU? YOU'RE A STRANGER.

>> WHY WOULD I TELL YOU? YOU'RE A STRANGER. >> YEAH, WHO YOU'RE RIDING IN

YOU'RE A STRANGER. >> YEAH, WHO YOU'RE RIDING IN THE BASKET OF YOUR BICYCLE LIKE

>> YEAH, WHO YOU'RE RIDING IN THE BASKET OF YOUR BICYCLE LIKE FUCKING JULIE ANDREWS IN

THE BASKET OF YOUR BICYCLE LIKE FUCKING JULIE ANDREWS IN "THE SOUND OF MUSIC" OR SOME

FUCKING JULIE ANDREWS IN "THE SOUND OF MUSIC" OR SOME SHIT.

"THE SOUND OF MUSIC" OR SOME SHIT. YOU DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

SHIT. YOU DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND. >> WHY NOT?

YOU DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND. >> WHY NOT? >> BECAUSE YOU'RE SMILING.

>> WHY NOT? >> BECAUSE YOU'RE SMILING. JUST A LITTLE, BUT YOU'RE

>> BECAUSE YOU'RE SMILING. JUST A LITTLE, BUT YOU'RE SMILING.

JUST A LITTLE, BUT YOU'RE SMILING. >> I DON'T THINK SO.

SMILING. >> I DON'T THINK SO. >> YES, YOU ARE.

>> I DON'T THINK SO. >> YES, YOU ARE. >> GRIMACING A BIT, MAYBE.

>> YES, YOU ARE. >> GRIMACING A BIT, MAYBE. >> I DON'T THINK SO.

>> GRIMACING A BIT, MAYBE. >> I DON'T THINK SO. >> OKAY.

>> I DON'T THINK SO. >> OKAY. SO, WALK TWO BLOCKS THAT WAY --

>> OKAY. SO, WALK TWO BLOCKS THAT WAY -- >> TWO BLOCKS UP THERE?

SO, WALK TWO BLOCKS THAT WAY -- >> TWO BLOCKS UP THERE? >> YEAH.

>> TWO BLOCKS UP THERE? >> YEAH. AND YOU'LL FIND THE STREET.

>> YEAH. AND YOU'LL FIND THE STREET. >> WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE,

AND YOU'LL FIND THE STREET. >> WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

>> WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?

WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER? LET ME CALL YOU.

WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER? LET ME CALL YOU. >> AU REVOIR.

LET ME CALL YOU. >> AU REVOIR. >> NO, COME ON.

>> AU REVOIR. >> NO, COME ON. LET ME CALL YOU.

>> NO, COME ON. LET ME CALL YOU. >> AU REVOIR.

LET ME CALL YOU. >> AU REVOIR. >> COME ON, IT'S HARD TO MEET

>> AU REVOIR. >> COME ON, IT'S HARD TO MEET PEOPLE YOU LIKE.

>> COME ON, IT'S HARD TO MEET PEOPLE YOU LIKE. >> YEAH, EXACTLY.

PEOPLE YOU LIKE. >> YEAH, EXACTLY. >> COME ON!

>> YEAH, EXACTLY. >> COME ON! WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?!

>> [ SOBS ] >> [ MOANS ]

>> BONJOUR. >> BONJOUR. >> LISTEN.

>> BONJOUR. >> LISTEN. I THINK IT'S ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE

>> LISTEN. I THINK IT'S ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE THAT YOU HAVE A LITTLE CRUSH ON

I THINK IT'S ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE THAT YOU HAVE A LITTLE CRUSH ON ME, BUT I THINK AT THIS POINT,

THAT YOU HAVE A LITTLE CRUSH ON ME, BUT I THINK AT THIS POINT, I MEAN, YOU SHOULD JUST SUMMON

ME, BUT I THINK AT THIS POINT, I MEAN, YOU SHOULD JUST SUMMON THE COURAGE TO ASK ME OUT ON A

I MEAN, YOU SHOULD JUST SUMMON THE COURAGE TO ASK ME OUT ON A PROPER DATE.

THE COURAGE TO ASK ME OUT ON A PROPER DATE. COME ON.

PROPER DATE. COME ON. STALKING ME -- IT'S REALLY NOT

COME ON. STALKING ME -- IT'S REALLY NOT COOL.

STALKING ME -- IT'S REALLY NOT COOL. HOW DO YOU SAY "STALKING ME IS

COOL. HOW DO YOU SAY "STALKING ME IS REALLY NOT COOL" IN FRENCH?

HOW DO YOU SAY "STALKING ME IS REALLY NOT COOL" IN FRENCH? >> WHAT'S "HEADSTAND" CALLED IN

REALLY NOT COOL" IN FRENCH? >> WHAT'S "HEADSTAND" CALLED IN SANSKRIT?

>> WHAT'S "HEADSTAND" CALLED IN SANSKRIT? >> CAN I -- CAN I JUST -- THIS

SANSKRIT? >> CAN I -- CAN I JUST -- THIS IS THE ONLY SPACE.

>> CAN I -- CAN I JUST -- THIS IS THE ONLY SPACE. CAN I -- DO YOU MIND?

IS THE ONLY SPACE. CAN I -- DO YOU MIND? IS THERE ROOM HERE?

CAN I -- DO YOU MIND? IS THERE ROOM HERE? TOOK CARE OF MY SPACE.

IS THERE ROOM HERE? TOOK CARE OF MY SPACE. I MEAN, I CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT

TOOK CARE OF MY SPACE. I MEAN, I CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT.

I MEAN, I CAN TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT. [ COUGHS ]

THAT. [ COUGHS ] I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU SAY?

[ COUGHS ] I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU SAY? >> [ SIGHS ]

I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU SAY? >> [ SIGHS ] WHAT'S "HEADSTAND" CALLED IN

>> [ SIGHS ] WHAT'S "HEADSTAND" CALLED IN SANSKRIT?

WHAT'S "HEADSTAND" CALLED IN SANSKRIT? >> WHY?

SANSKRIT? >> WHY? >> 'CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU

>> WHY? >> 'CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU COME TO YOGA TO PICK UP GIRLS OR

>> 'CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU COME TO YOGA TO PICK UP GIRLS OR TO PRACTICE YOGA.

COME TO YOGA TO PICK UP GIRLS OR TO PRACTICE YOGA. WELL, "YOGA" MEANS "UNION WITH

TO PRACTICE YOGA. WELL, "YOGA" MEANS "UNION WITH GOD," RIGHT?

WELL, "YOGA" MEANS "UNION WITH GOD," RIGHT? I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANY

GOD," RIGHT? I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANY GREATER CLOSENESS BETWEEN MAN

I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANY GREATER CLOSENESS BETWEEN MAN AND HIS CREATOR THAN THE LOVE

GREATER CLOSENESS BETWEEN MAN AND HIS CREATOR THAN THE LOVE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.

AND HIS CREATOR THAN THE LOVE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN. SO I COME TO YOGA TO PRACTICE

BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN. SO I COME TO YOGA TO PRACTICE YOGA, WHETHER I MEET A WOMAN OR

SO I COME TO YOGA TO PRACTICE YOGA, WHETHER I MEET A WOMAN OR NOT.

YOGA, WHETHER I MEET A WOMAN OR NOT. >> GOTCHA.

NOT. >> GOTCHA. >> AND SIRSASANA IS MY FAVORITE

>> GOTCHA. >> AND SIRSASANA IS MY FAVORITE POSITION.

>> AND SIRSASANA IS MY FAVORITE POSITION. YOU?

POSITION. YOU? >> I HATE IT.

YOU? >> I HATE IT. I DON'T LIKE BEING UPSIDE DOWN.

>> I HATE IT. I DON'T LIKE BEING UPSIDE DOWN. >> REALLY?

I DON'T LIKE BEING UPSIDE DOWN. >> REALLY? WELL, THAT'S FUNNY.

>> REALLY? WELL, THAT'S FUNNY. IT'S THE PLACE WHERE I FEEL LIKE

WELL, THAT'S FUNNY. IT'S THE PLACE WHERE I FEEL LIKE THINGS MAKE THE MOST SENSE.

IT'S THE PLACE WHERE I FEEL LIKE THINGS MAKE THE MOST SENSE. LISTEN.

THINGS MAKE THE MOST SENSE. LISTEN. JUST SO MY ENTIRE CONCENTRATION

LISTEN. JUST SO MY ENTIRE CONCENTRATION ISN'T COMPLETELY DISTRACTED

JUST SO MY ENTIRE CONCENTRATION ISN'T COMPLETELY DISTRACTED EVERY OTHER BREATH THROUGHOUT

ISN'T COMPLETELY DISTRACTED EVERY OTHER BREATH THROUGHOUT CLASS, WONDERING WHETHER YOU'RE

EVERY OTHER BREATH THROUGHOUT CLASS, WONDERING WHETHER YOU'RE EVER GONNA GO OUT WITH ME, I'M

CLASS, WONDERING WHETHER YOU'RE EVER GONNA GO OUT WITH ME, I'M JUST GONNA ASK, ONCE AGAIN,

EVER GONNA GO OUT WITH ME, I'M JUST GONNA ASK, ONCE AGAIN, RIGHT BEFORE CLASS STARTS.

JUST GONNA ASK, ONCE AGAIN, RIGHT BEFORE CLASS STARTS. >> [ SCOFFS ]

RIGHT BEFORE CLASS STARTS. >> [ SCOFFS ] >> IS THAT A "YES"?

>> [ SCOFFS ] >> IS THAT A "YES"? >> NO.

>> IS THAT A "YES"? >> NO. >> COME ON. REALLY?

>> NO. >> COME ON. REALLY? >> MAYBE.

>> COME ON. REALLY? >> MAYBE. >> WHAT'S THE DETERMINING FACTOR

>> MAYBE. >> WHAT'S THE DETERMINING FACTOR GONNA BE?

>> WHAT'S THE DETERMINING FACTOR GONNA BE? >> HOW GOOD YOUR HEADSTAND IS.

GONNA BE? >> HOW GOOD YOUR HEADSTAND IS. >> All: OM.

>> HOW GOOD YOUR HEADSTAND IS. >> All: OM. >> OM.

>> All: OM. >> OM. >> OM.

>> OM. >> OM. [ WATER RUNNING ]

>> OM. [ WATER RUNNING ] SO, WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

[ WATER RUNNING ] SO, WHAT'S THE VERDICT? >> A WALK.

SO, WHAT'S THE VERDICT? >> A WALK. >> LIKE A PRE-DATE, DETERMINING

>> A WALK. >> LIKE A PRE-DATE, DETERMINING WALK, OR A WALK THAT'S A DATE?

>> LIKE A PRE-DATE, DETERMINING WALK, OR A WALK THAT'S A DATE? >> A WALK THAT'S A WALK.

>> I LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THINGS ARE. >> THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A

ARE. >> THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A DATE IN FRANCE ANYWAY.

>> THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A DATE IN FRANCE ANYWAY. YOU KNOW, WE DON'T LABEL THINGS.

DATE IN FRANCE ANYWAY. YOU KNOW, WE DON'T LABEL THINGS. WE JUST SPEND TIME TOGETHER AND

YOU KNOW, WE DON'T LABEL THINGS. WE JUST SPEND TIME TOGETHER AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

WE JUST SPEND TIME TOGETHER AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. >> [ LAUGHS ]

SEE WHAT HAPPENS. >> [ LAUGHS ] MAN, THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT.

>> [ LAUGHS ] MAN, THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT. YOU'RE A WOMAN, SO I DON'T GIVE

MAN, THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT. YOU'RE A WOMAN, SO I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHERE YOU'RE FROM.

YOU'RE A WOMAN, SO I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHERE YOU'RE FROM. THAT MEANS YOU HAVE EXPECTATIONS

A FUCK WHERE YOU'RE FROM. THAT MEANS YOU HAVE EXPECTATIONS AND YOU HAVE RULES AND YOU HAVE

THAT MEANS YOU HAVE EXPECTATIONS AND YOU HAVE RULES AND YOU HAVE AN AGENDA, OKAY?

AND YOU HAVE RULES AND YOU HAVE AN AGENDA, OKAY? TO SAY THAT YOU DON'T IS A GAME

AN AGENDA, OKAY? TO SAY THAT YOU DON'T IS A GAME AT BEST AND A LIE AT WORST.

TO SAY THAT YOU DON'T IS A GAME AT BEST AND A LIE AT WORST. >> YOU'RE SO AMERICAN.

AT BEST AND A LIE AT WORST. >> YOU'RE SO AMERICAN. >> REALLY?

>> YOU'RE SO AMERICAN. >> REALLY? OKAY, WELL, IF "AMERICAN" MEANS

>> REALLY? OKAY, WELL, IF "AMERICAN" MEANS "STRAIGHTFORWARD AND HONEST,"

OKAY, WELL, IF "AMERICAN" MEANS "STRAIGHTFORWARD AND HONEST," THEN SURE, I'M AMERICAN.

"STRAIGHTFORWARD AND HONEST," THEN SURE, I'M AMERICAN. >> I KNOW IT'S HARD FOR YOU

THEN SURE, I'M AMERICAN. >> I KNOW IT'S HARD FOR YOU AMERICANS TO UNDERSTAND, BUT

>> I KNOW IT'S HARD FOR YOU AMERICANS TO UNDERSTAND, BUT SOMETIMES YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU

AMERICANS TO UNDERSTAND, BUT SOMETIMES YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, DO YOU?

SOMETIMES YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, DO YOU? >> RARELY.

WANT, DO YOU? >> RARELY. >> YOU RARELY DON'T GET WHAT YOU

>> RARELY. >> YOU RARELY DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT?

>> YOU RARELY DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT? >> YEAH.

WANT? >> YEAH. >> SO EVEN THOUGH YOU USUALLY

>> YEAH. >> SO EVEN THOUGH YOU USUALLY GET WHAT YOU WANT, WHEN YOU

>> SO EVEN THOUGH YOU USUALLY GET WHAT YOU WANT, WHEN YOU DON'T, YOU'RE ABLE TO ACCEPT IT

GET WHAT YOU WANT, WHEN YOU DON'T, YOU'RE ABLE TO ACCEPT IT WITH GRACE?

DON'T, YOU'RE ABLE TO ACCEPT IT WITH GRACE? >> DO YOU THINK?

WITH GRACE? >> DO YOU THINK? >> WELL, YOU'RE NOT GETTING A

>> DO YOU THINK? >> WELL, YOU'RE NOT GETTING A DEFINITION FOR THE WALK, AND YOU

>> WELL, YOU'RE NOT GETTING A DEFINITION FOR THE WALK, AND YOU SEEM TO BE DOING PRETTY WELL

DEFINITION FOR THE WALK, AND YOU SEEM TO BE DOING PRETTY WELL WITH THE UNCERTAINTY.

SEEM TO BE DOING PRETTY WELL WITH THE UNCERTAINTY. >> THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M USED

WITH THE UNCERTAINTY. >> THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M USED TO IT WITH YOU NOW, SO IT'S JUST

>> THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M USED TO IT WITH YOU NOW, SO IT'S JUST BECOME KIND OF MADDENINGLY

TO IT WITH YOU NOW, SO IT'S JUST BECOME KIND OF MADDENINGLY LOVELY.

BECOME KIND OF MADDENINGLY LOVELY. >> OH, THE OTHER TIMES WHEN I

LOVELY. >> OH, THE OTHER TIMES WHEN I WOULDN'T CONFIRM OR DENY IF I

>> OH, THE OTHER TIMES WHEN I WOULDN'T CONFIRM OR DENY IF I WOULD GO OUT ON A DATE WITH YOU

WOULDN'T CONFIRM OR DENY IF I WOULD GO OUT ON A DATE WITH YOU BEFORE YOGA STARTED?

WOULD GO OUT ON A DATE WITH YOU BEFORE YOGA STARTED? >> EXACTLY.

BEFORE YOGA STARTED? >> EXACTLY. >> YOU KNOW ME SO WELL.

>> EXACTLY. >> YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. ALL THE MYSTERY'S GONE.

>> YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. ALL THE MYSTERY'S GONE. >> THANK GOD FOR THAT AT LEAST.

ALL THE MYSTERY'S GONE. >> THANK GOD FOR THAT AT LEAST. >> SO NO PRIVATE INFORMATION?

>> THANK GOD FOR THAT AT LEAST. >> SO NO PRIVATE INFORMATION? >> NO, SURE, YOU CAN HAVE

>> SO NO PRIVATE INFORMATION? >> NO, SURE, YOU CAN HAVE PRIVATE INFORMATION.

>> NO, SURE, YOU CAN HAVE PRIVATE INFORMATION. JUST NOT IF IT CONCERNS THINKING

PRIVATE INFORMATION. JUST NOT IF IT CONCERNS THINKING I'M COOL...

JUST NOT IF IT CONCERNS THINKING I'M COOL... OR NOT, APPARENTLY, IN YOUR

I'M COOL... OR NOT, APPARENTLY, IN YOUR CASE.

OR NOT, APPARENTLY, IN YOUR CASE. >> NO, NO. YOU'RE COOL.

CASE. >> NO, NO. YOU'RE COOL. >> WELL, THANK YOU.

>> NO, NO. YOU'RE COOL. >> WELL, THANK YOU. SO ARE YOU.

>> WELL, THANK YOU. SO ARE YOU. >> THANKS.

SO ARE YOU. >> THANKS. >> SO, LISTEN.

>> THANKS. >> SO, LISTEN. CAN WE UPGRADE THIS WALK THAT'S

>> SO, LISTEN. CAN WE UPGRADE THIS WALK THAT'S A WALK TO A WALK THAT'S A DATE

CAN WE UPGRADE THIS WALK THAT'S A WALK TO A WALK THAT'S A DATE NOW, PLEASE?

A WALK TO A WALK THAT'S A DATE NOW, PLEASE? >> NO.

NOW, PLEASE? >> NO. >> OH, COME ON. WHY NOT?

>> NO. >> OH, COME ON. WHY NOT? >> 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT THAT COOL.

>> OH, COME ON. WHY NOT? >> 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT THAT COOL. >> DEPENDING ON THE DAY, THAT

>> 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT THAT COOL. >> DEPENDING ON THE DAY, THAT WOULD GUT ME.

>> DEPENDING ON THE DAY, THAT WOULD GUT ME. >> OH. AND ON THIS DAY?

WOULD GUT ME. >> OH. AND ON THIS DAY? >> PINPRICK.

>> OH. AND ON THIS DAY? >> PINPRICK. 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, I JUST CAME

>> PINPRICK. 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, I JUST CAME FROM YOGA, SO I'M FREE FROM ALL

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, I JUST CAME FROM YOGA, SO I'M FREE FROM ALL ATTACHMENTS.

FROM YOGA, SO I'M FREE FROM ALL ATTACHMENTS. >> WELL, GOOD.

ATTACHMENTS. >> WELL, GOOD. I'LL SLEEP EASIER KNOWING.

>> WELL, GOOD. I'LL SLEEP EASIER KNOWING. >> SO MUCH SO THAT I'M EVEN

I'LL SLEEP EASIER KNOWING. >> SO MUCH SO THAT I'M EVEN WILLING TO DO YOUR WHOLE "IN

>> SO MUCH SO THAT I'M EVEN WILLING TO DO YOUR WHOLE "IN FRANCE, WE DON'T DATE.

WILLING TO DO YOUR WHOLE "IN FRANCE, WE DON'T DATE. WE JUST HANG OUT AND SEE WHAT

FRANCE, WE DON'T DATE. WE JUST HANG OUT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS" THING?

WE JUST HANG OUT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS" THING? WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?

HAPPENS" THING? WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER? >> AU REVOIR.

WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER? >> AU REVOIR. >> OH, COME ON!

>> AU REVOIR. >> OH, COME ON! >> HEY, COME ON.

>> OH, COME ON! >> HEY, COME ON. WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?

>> HEY, COME ON. WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER? HEY, HEY!

WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER? HEY, HEY! THERE'S SOMETHING I'M GONNA TELL

HEY, HEY! THERE'S SOMETHING I'M GONNA TELL YOU ONE DAY THAT I THOUGHT WHEN

THERE'S SOMETHING I'M GONNA TELL YOU ONE DAY THAT I THOUGHT WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU.

YOU ONE DAY THAT I THOUGHT WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU. >> I DON'T THINK SO.

I FIRST SAW YOU. >> I DON'T THINK SO. >> YOU'LL SEE.

I LIED. IT WAS ALWAYS DEVASTATING, ALWAYS A CRUCIFIXION.

IT WAS ALWAYS DEVASTATING, ALWAYS A CRUCIFIXION. WHAT WOMEN WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND

ALWAYS A CRUCIFIXION. WHAT WOMEN WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND IS THE WEIGHT OF HAVING TO BE

WHAT WOMEN WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND IS THE WEIGHT OF HAVING TO BE THE CONSTANT PURSUER AND THE

IS THE WEIGHT OF HAVING TO BE THE CONSTANT PURSUER AND THE PAIN OF EVERY DEATH WHEN IT'S A

THE CONSTANT PURSUER AND THE PAIN OF EVERY DEATH WHEN IT'S A "NO."

>> YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE. >> Hey, Michael. It's Josh. Bad news, man.

>> Hey, Michael. It's Josh. Bad news, man. We got six more passes on your

Bad news, man. We got six more passes on your new manuscript.

We got six more passes on your new manuscript. Sorry to leave it on your

new manuscript. Sorry to leave it on your machine, but I knew you'd want

Sorry to leave it on your machine, but I knew you'd want to know ASAP.

machine, but I knew you'd want to know ASAP. We're still out to two last

to know ASAP. We're still out to two last publishers.

We're still out to two last publishers. All we need is one.

publishers. All we need is one. [ Click ]

>> BONJOUR. >> BONJOUR. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

>> BONJOUR. WHAT DO YOU WANT? HAND JOB, BLOWJOB, SEX?

WHAT DO YOU WANT? HAND JOB, BLOWJOB, SEX? >> WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

HAND JOB, BLOWJOB, SEX? >> WHAT'S YOUR NAME? >> VERONICA.

>> WHAT'S YOUR NAME? >> VERONICA. >> HI, VERONICA. I'M MICHAEL.

>> VERONICA. >> HI, VERONICA. I'M MICHAEL. >> HELLO, MICHAEL.

>> HI, VERONICA. I'M MICHAEL. >> HELLO, MICHAEL. SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

>> HELLO, MICHAEL. SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT? >> WHAT DO I WANT?

SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT? >> WHAT DO I WANT? UM...

>> WHAT DO I WANT? UM... HOW MUCH FOR A HAND JOB?

>> $300. >> BECAUSE I HAVE A-A COOL LEATHER JACKET, YOU'RE GONNA

>> BECAUSE I HAVE A-A COOL LEATHER JACKET, YOU'RE GONNA CHARGE ME 300 BUCKS FOR A

LEATHER JACKET, YOU'RE GONNA CHARGE ME 300 BUCKS FOR A HAND JOB?

CHARGE ME 300 BUCKS FOR A HAND JOB? >> ACTUALLY, YOU HAVE A BUTTON

HAND JOB? >> ACTUALLY, YOU HAVE A BUTTON MISSING.

>> ACTUALLY, YOU HAVE A BUTTON MISSING. IT WAS A DISCOUNT.

[ LAUGHS ] [ SPEAKS FRENCH ] HEY, I WAS ONLY KIDDING.

[ SPEAKS FRENCH ] HEY, I WAS ONLY KIDDING. COME ON.

HEY, I WAS ONLY KIDDING. COME ON. $250, BECAUSE OF YOUR "COOL

COME ON. $250, BECAUSE OF YOUR "COOL SNEAKERS."

$250, BECAUSE OF YOUR "COOL SNEAKERS." [ LAUGHS ]

>> YOU CAN ASK FOR MERCY, AND IF I FEEL LIKE GIVING IT, YOU MAY GET SOME.

I FEEL LIKE GIVING IT, YOU MAY GET SOME. BUT YOU NEED TO TRUST THAT I

GET SOME. BUT YOU NEED TO TRUST THAT I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU WHAT YOU

BUT YOU NEED TO TRUST THAT I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU WHAT YOU NEED.

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

>> HELLO. >> Michael Shiver? >> SPEAKING.

>> Michael Shiver? >> SPEAKING. >> I'm Sherry Ann with

>> SPEAKING. >> I'm Sherry Ann with Card Services.

>> I'm Sherry Ann with Card Services. I'm calling about your past-due

Card Services. I'm calling about your past-due account with us.

I'm calling about your past-due account with us. >> HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?

account with us. >> HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU? >> Well, you have three accounts

>> HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU? >> Well, you have three accounts with us for a total of

>> Well, you have three accounts with us for a total of $427,654.89.

with us for a total of $427,654.89. They all are 90 days late.

$427,654.89. They all are 90 days late. Can you make a payment now?

They all are 90 days late. Can you make a payment now? >> I'M SORRY.

Can you make a payment now? >> I'M SORRY. I JUST REALLY CAN'T.

>> I'M SORRY. I JUST REALLY CAN'T. I'M JUST IN A -- IN A VERY BAD

I JUST REALLY CAN'T. I'M JUST IN A -- IN A VERY BAD WAY FINANCIALLY RIGHT NOW.

I'M JUST IN A -- IN A VERY BAD WAY FINANCIALLY RIGHT NOW. >> Oh, I understand.

WAY FINANCIALLY RIGHT NOW. >> Oh, I understand. Well, I could enroll you in the

>> Oh, I understand. Well, I could enroll you in the payment-protection plan, and

Well, I could enroll you in the payment-protection plan, and then you wouldn't have to pay

payment-protection plan, and then you wouldn't have to pay anything for three months.

then you wouldn't have to pay anything for three months. Would that help?

anything for three months. Would that help? >> YEAH. THAT WOULD BE AMAZING.

Would that help? >> YEAH. THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. IF YOU COULD DO THAT.

>> YEAH. THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. IF YOU COULD DO THAT. I'D REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.

IF YOU COULD DO THAT. I'D REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. >> Let me just see.

I'D REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. >> Let me just see. Let me do that for you right

>> Let me just see. Let me do that for you right now.

Let me do that for you right now. >> OKAY. THANK YOU.

now. >> OKAY. THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS.

>> OKAY. THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS. >> No, it is my pleasure.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS. >> No, it is my pleasure. All right. You're all set.

>> No, it is my pleasure. All right. You're all set. You take care, now.

All right. You're all set. You take care, now. >> THANK YOU.

You take care, now. >> THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE NIGHT.

>> THANK YOU. HAVE A NICE NIGHT. >> Bye.

HAVE A NICE NIGHT. >> Bye. >> BYE.

[ SOBBING ]

>> YOU STILL SAY YOU DON'T COME TO YOGA TO PICK UP GIRLS? CRYING NOW, EVEN?

TO YOGA TO PICK UP GIRLS? CRYING NOW, EVEN? >> [ SCOFFS ]

CRYING NOW, EVEN? >> [ SCOFFS ] THE VOICE OF SATAN IS

>> [ SCOFFS ] THE VOICE OF SATAN IS UNMISTAKABLE, EVEN WITH A FRENCH

THE VOICE OF SATAN IS UNMISTAKABLE, EVEN WITH A FRENCH ACCENT.

UNMISTAKABLE, EVEN WITH A FRENCH ACCENT. >> IT'S SO WEIRD TO SEE A GUY

ACCENT. >> IT'S SO WEIRD TO SEE A GUY CRY IN PUBLIC.

>> IT'S SO WEIRD TO SEE A GUY CRY IN PUBLIC. YOU KNOW, WITH WOMAN, IT'S

CRY IN PUBLIC. YOU KNOW, WITH WOMAN, IT'S FAMILIAR, ALMOST EXPECTED.

YOU KNOW, WITH WOMAN, IT'S FAMILIAR, ALMOST EXPECTED. YOU SEE A WOMAN CRY IN YOGA, YOU

FAMILIAR, ALMOST EXPECTED. YOU SEE A WOMAN CRY IN YOGA, YOU WANT TO GIVE HER A HANDKERCHIEF.

YOU SEE A WOMAN CRY IN YOGA, YOU WANT TO GIVE HER A HANDKERCHIEF. YOU SEE A GUY CRY IN YOGA, YOU

WANT TO GIVE HER A HANDKERCHIEF. YOU SEE A GUY CRY IN YOGA, YOU WANT TO CALL THE POLICE.

YOU SEE A GUY CRY IN YOGA, YOU WANT TO CALL THE POLICE. >> I'M CRYING ON THE FLOOR OF A

WANT TO CALL THE POLICE. >> I'M CRYING ON THE FLOOR OF A FOREIGN COUNTRY, AND YOU'RE

>> I'M CRYING ON THE FLOOR OF A FOREIGN COUNTRY, AND YOU'RE SAYING IT'S AN ACT TO PICK UP

FOREIGN COUNTRY, AND YOU'RE SAYING IT'S AN ACT TO PICK UP CHICKS?

SAYING IT'S AN ACT TO PICK UP CHICKS? DOES YOUR EVIL KNOW NO BOUNDS?

CHICKS? DOES YOUR EVIL KNOW NO BOUNDS? >> I'M SORRY.

DOES YOUR EVIL KNOW NO BOUNDS? >> I'M SORRY. I WAS JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN UP

>> I'M SORRY. I WAS JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN UP WHATEVER WAS MAKING YOU SAD.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN UP WHATEVER WAS MAKING YOU SAD. I GUESS IT WASN'T THE RIGHT

WHATEVER WAS MAKING YOU SAD. I GUESS IT WASN'T THE RIGHT ANGLE TO TAKE.

I GUESS IT WASN'T THE RIGHT ANGLE TO TAKE. I APOLOGIZE.

ANGLE TO TAKE. I APOLOGIZE. >> All: OM.

I APOLOGIZE. >> All: OM. >> OKAY.

>> All: OM. >> OKAY. [ ALL INHALE SHARPLY ]

>> OKAY. [ ALL INHALE SHARPLY ] >> All: OM.

[ ALL INHALE SHARPLY ] >> All: OM. >> YOU STILL HAVE TWO HOURS TO

>> All: OM. >> YOU STILL HAVE TWO HOURS TO ASK ME OUT ON A DATE AGAIN.

>> YOU STILL HAVE TWO HOURS TO ASK ME OUT ON A DATE AGAIN. >> NO. I'M DONE WITH ALL THAT.

ASK ME OUT ON A DATE AGAIN. >> NO. I'M DONE WITH ALL THAT. >> WHY?

>> NO. I'M DONE WITH ALL THAT. >> WHY? >> 'CAUSE I'M DECREPIT AND MY

>> WHY? >> 'CAUSE I'M DECREPIT AND MY LIFE'S OVER.

>> 'CAUSE I'M DECREPIT AND MY LIFE'S OVER. >> COME ON. JUST ONE MORE TRY.

LIFE'S OVER. >> COME ON. JUST ONE MORE TRY. >> NO, IF WE'RE GOING OUT,

>> COME ON. JUST ONE MORE TRY. >> NO, IF WE'RE GOING OUT, YOU'RE DOING THE ASKING.

>> NO, IF WE'RE GOING OUT, YOU'RE DOING THE ASKING. >> FUCK YOU.

YOU'RE DOING THE ASKING. >> FUCK YOU. >> YES.

>> FUCK YOU. >> YES. >> All: OM.

>> SO, WHAT WERE YOU CRYING ABOUT? >> [ SIGHS ] OH, GOD.

ABOUT? >> [ SIGHS ] OH, GOD. DEAR, SWEET JESUS.

>> [ SIGHS ] OH, GOD. DEAR, SWEET JESUS. WHY WAS I CRYING IN YOGA?

DEAR, SWEET JESUS. WHY WAS I CRYING IN YOGA? >> MERCI.

WHY WAS I CRYING IN YOGA? >> MERCI. >> MERCI.

>> MERCI. >> MERCI. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE FEELING...

>> MERCI. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE FEELING... REALLY, REALLY DOWN AND JUST

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE FEELING... REALLY, REALLY DOWN AND JUST SOME RANDOM PERSON FROM, LIKE,

REALLY, REALLY DOWN AND JUST SOME RANDOM PERSON FROM, LIKE, THE ODDEST PLACE IS KIND TO YOU,

SOME RANDOM PERSON FROM, LIKE, THE ODDEST PLACE IS KIND TO YOU, AND YOU JUST -- JUST LOSE IT?

THE ODDEST PLACE IS KIND TO YOU, AND YOU JUST -- JUST LOSE IT? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

AND YOU JUST -- JUST LOSE IT? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. THIS -- THIS, UH, LIKE

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. THIS -- THIS, UH, LIKE BILL-COLLECTOR LADY FROM THE

THIS -- THIS, UH, LIKE BILL-COLLECTOR LADY FROM THE MIDWEST WAS KIND TO ME.

BILL-COLLECTOR LADY FROM THE MIDWEST WAS KIND TO ME. I'M SORRY.

MIDWEST WAS KIND TO ME. I'M SORRY. WAS THAT TOO, UH, TOUCHY-FEELY

I'M SORRY. WAS THAT TOO, UH, TOUCHY-FEELY OR SOMETHING?

WAS THAT TOO, UH, TOUCHY-FEELY OR SOMETHING? >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

OR SOMETHING? >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. >> YOU ASKED.

>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. >> YOU ASKED. >> NO. I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME.

>> YOU ASKED. >> NO. I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME. NO, NO.

>> NO. I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME. NO, NO. IT'S -- IT'S GOOD FOR ME TO

NO, NO. IT'S -- IT'S GOOD FOR ME TO PRACTICE BEING A GIRL SOMETIMES,

IT'S -- IT'S GOOD FOR ME TO PRACTICE BEING A GIRL SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW, LIKE SHARING EMOTIONAL

PRACTICE BEING A GIRL SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW, LIKE SHARING EMOTIONAL THINGS AND LISTENING, BEING

YOU KNOW, LIKE SHARING EMOTIONAL THINGS AND LISTENING, BEING SYMPATHETIC, YOU KNOW?

THINGS AND LISTENING, BEING SYMPATHETIC, YOU KNOW? >> IS THAT HARD FOR YOU?

SYMPATHETIC, YOU KNOW? >> IS THAT HARD FOR YOU? >> THAT WAS ENOUGH PRACTICING

>> IS THAT HARD FOR YOU? >> THAT WAS ENOUGH PRACTICING FOR ONE NIGHT.

>> THAT WAS ENOUGH PRACTICING FOR ONE NIGHT. >> OH, COME ON. MAN UP.

FOR ONE NIGHT. >> OH, COME ON. MAN UP. >> JUST ONE MORE QUESTION.

>> OH, COME ON. MAN UP. >> JUST ONE MORE QUESTION. THAT'S IT.

>> JUST ONE MORE QUESTION. THAT'S IT. >> OKAY.

THAT'S IT. >> OKAY. WHAT ARE THE TOP FIVE DEAL

>> OKAY. WHAT ARE THE TOP FIVE DEAL BREAKERS FOR THE GUYS THAT YOU,

WHAT ARE THE TOP FIVE DEAL BREAKERS FOR THE GUYS THAT YOU, YOU KNOW, NON-DATE DATE?

BREAKERS FOR THE GUYS THAT YOU, YOU KNOW, NON-DATE DATE? >> YOU NEED TO BE FUNNY.

YOU KNOW, NON-DATE DATE? >> YOU NEED TO BE FUNNY. >> OKAY.

>> YOU NEED TO BE FUNNY. >> OKAY. >> SMART.

>> OKAY. >> SMART. >> YEAH.

>> SMART. >> YEAH. >> NOT A DRUG ADDICT OR

>> YEAH. >> NOT A DRUG ADDICT OR ALCOHOLIC OR --

>> NOT A DRUG ADDICT OR ALCOHOLIC OR -- >> YEAH.

ALCOHOLIC OR -- >> YEAH. >> HMM...A BIG HEART.

>> YEAH. >> HMM...A BIG HEART. AND NOT JUDGMENTAL.

>> HMM...A BIG HEART. AND NOT JUDGMENTAL. >> LIKE REPUBLICAN JUDGMENTAL?

AND NOT JUDGMENTAL. >> LIKE REPUBLICAN JUDGMENTAL? >> NO, LIKE DOESN'T EVEN JUDGE

>> LIKE REPUBLICAN JUDGMENTAL? >> NO, LIKE DOESN'T EVEN JUDGE REPUBLICANS NOT JUDGMENTAL.

>> NO, LIKE DOESN'T EVEN JUDGE REPUBLICANS NOT JUDGMENTAL. >> OKAY.

REPUBLICANS NOT JUDGMENTAL. >> OKAY. BUDDHA.

>> OKAY. BUDDHA. >> BUT I DON'T -- I DON'T GO OUT

BUDDHA. >> BUT I DON'T -- I DON'T GO OUT WITH TOO MANY MEN.

>> BUT I DON'T -- I DON'T GO OUT WITH TOO MANY MEN. >> REALLY?

WITH TOO MANY MEN. >> REALLY? >> MNH-MNH.

>> REALLY? >> MNH-MNH. >> WHY NOT?

>> MNH-MNH. >> WHY NOT? >> I DON'T KNOW.

>> WHY NOT? >> I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I'M -- I'M MORE LIKE A

>> I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I'M -- I'M MORE LIKE A GUY.

I GUESS I'M -- I'M MORE LIKE A GUY. YOU KNOW, I WANT SEX, I HAVE IT.

GUY. YOU KNOW, I WANT SEX, I HAVE IT. AND I NEED A FRIEND, IT'S

YOU KNOW, I WANT SEX, I HAVE IT. AND I NEED A FRIEND, IT'S DIFFERENT.

AND I NEED A FRIEND, IT'S DIFFERENT. >> DO YOU NOT WANT LOVE IN YOUR

DIFFERENT. >> DO YOU NOT WANT LOVE IN YOUR LIFE?

>> DO YOU NOT WANT LOVE IN YOUR LIFE? >> OKAY, THAT WAS ENOUGH

LIFE? >> OKAY, THAT WAS ENOUGH QUESTIONS FOR ME.

>> OKAY, THAT WAS ENOUGH QUESTIONS FOR ME. >> COME ON.

QUESTIONS FOR ME. >> COME ON. >> NO, NO, YOU. YOUR GIRL.

>> COME ON. >> NO, NO, YOU. YOUR GIRL. I'M A LITTLE AFRAID TO ASK, BUT,

>> NO, NO, YOU. YOUR GIRL. I'M A LITTLE AFRAID TO ASK, BUT, YOU KNOW --

I'M A LITTLE AFRAID TO ASK, BUT, YOU KNOW -- >> WHY?!

YOU KNOW -- >> WHY?! >> SHE NEEDS TO BE FUNNY.

>> WHY?! >> SHE NEEDS TO BE FUNNY. >> YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.

>> SHE NEEDS TO BE FUNNY. >> YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. >> MM-HMM.

>> YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. >> MM-HMM. >> MM-HMM.

>> MM-HMM. >> MM-HMM. >> SMART, WITTY, LIKE, FROM

>> MM-HMM. >> SMART, WITTY, LIKE, FROM NEW YORK.

>> SMART, WITTY, LIKE, FROM NEW YORK. SHE NEEDS TO NOT BE A PRUDE.

NEW YORK. SHE NEEDS TO NOT BE A PRUDE. >> REALLY?

SHE NEEDS TO NOT BE A PRUDE. >> REALLY? >> MM-HMM.

>> REALLY? >> MM-HMM. I MEAN, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE A

>> MM-HMM. I MEAN, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE A FREAK OR ANYTHING, BUT CERTAINLY

I MEAN, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE A FREAK OR ANYTHING, BUT CERTAINLY NOT MISSIONARY WITH THE LIGHTS

FREAK OR ANYTHING, BUT CERTAINLY NOT MISSIONARY WITH THE LIGHTS OFF.

NOT MISSIONARY WITH THE LIGHTS OFF. >> NOT ONLY DOES IT HAVE TO BE

OFF. >> NOT ONLY DOES IT HAVE TO BE MISSIONARY WITH THE LIGHTS OFF,

>> NOT ONLY DOES IT HAVE TO BE MISSIONARY WITH THE LIGHTS OFF, BUT I LIKE TO HAVE PRETTY MUCH

MISSIONARY WITH THE LIGHTS OFF, BUT I LIKE TO HAVE PRETTY MUCH NO HUMAN CONTACT WHATSOEVER.

BUT I LIKE TO HAVE PRETTY MUCH NO HUMAN CONTACT WHATSOEVER. SO I FIND IF YOU CUT A HOLE IN

NO HUMAN CONTACT WHATSOEVER. SO I FIND IF YOU CUT A HOLE IN THE SHEETS, LIKE THE QUAKERS DO

SO I FIND IF YOU CUT A HOLE IN THE SHEETS, LIKE THE QUAKERS DO OR WHATEVER, YOU CAN ALMOST DO

THE SHEETS, LIKE THE QUAKERS DO OR WHATEVER, YOU CAN ALMOST DO IT WITHOUT ANY FEELING OR

OR WHATEVER, YOU CAN ALMOST DO IT WITHOUT ANY FEELING OR TOUCHING AT ALL.

IT WITHOUT ANY FEELING OR TOUCHING AT ALL. >> GREAT.

TOUCHING AT ALL. >> GREAT. >> YEAH. IT'S REALLY GOOD.

>> GREAT. >> YEAH. IT'S REALLY GOOD. >> PERFECT.

>> YEAH. IT'S REALLY GOOD. >> PERFECT. AND?

>> PERFECT. AND? >> NO CATS.

AND? >> NO CATS. >> OKAY.

>> NO CATS. >> OKAY. >> NO LOOKING AT ME AND SMILING

>> OKAY. >> NO LOOKING AT ME AND SMILING LOVINGLY WHILE I'M EATING.

>> NO LOOKING AT ME AND SMILING LOVINGLY WHILE I'M EATING. >> WHAT?

LOVINGLY WHILE I'M EATING. >> WHAT? >> YOU CAN'T LOOK AT ME AND

>> WHAT? >> YOU CAN'T LOOK AT ME AND SMILE LOVINGLY AT ME WHEN I'M

>> YOU CAN'T LOOK AT ME AND SMILE LOVINGLY AT ME WHEN I'M EATING.

SMILE LOVINGLY AT ME WHEN I'M EATING. >> AND NO TOUCHING MY LEG WITH

EATING. >> AND NO TOUCHING MY LEG WITH YOUR FOOT OR ANYTHING WHILE I'M

>> AND NO TOUCHING MY LEG WITH YOUR FOOT OR ANYTHING WHILE I'M EATING.

YOUR FOOT OR ANYTHING WHILE I'M EATING. >> CAN I -- CAN I LOOK AT YOU

EATING. >> CAN I -- CAN I LOOK AT YOU AND SMILE LOVINGLY WHEN YOU'RE

>> CAN I -- CAN I LOOK AT YOU AND SMILE LOVINGLY WHEN YOU'RE NOT EATING?

AND SMILE LOVINGLY WHEN YOU'RE NOT EATING? >> YEAH.

NOT EATING? >> YEAH. >> AND TOUCH YOUR LEG WITH MY

>> YEAH. >> AND TOUCH YOUR LEG WITH MY FEET?

>> AND TOUCH YOUR LEG WITH MY FEET? >> YEAH. I WOULD LIKE THAT.

>> YOU'RE KIND OF NUTS, AREN'T YOU? >> OKAY.

YOU? >> OKAY. I'M GONNA SAY THIS ONE TIME AND

>> OKAY. I'M GONNA SAY THIS ONE TIME AND ONE TIME ONLY, OKAY, SO YOU NEED

I'M GONNA SAY THIS ONE TIME AND ONE TIME ONLY, OKAY, SO YOU NEED TO LISTEN REALLY, REALLY

ONE TIME ONLY, OKAY, SO YOU NEED TO LISTEN REALLY, REALLY CAREFULLY.

TO LISTEN REALLY, REALLY CAREFULLY. OKAY?

CAREFULLY. OKAY? >> MM-HMM.

OKAY? >> MM-HMM. >> OKAY.

>> MM-HMM. >> OKAY. I AM THE MOST SANE MAN THAT YOU

>> OKAY. I AM THE MOST SANE MAN THAT YOU NOW KNOW OR WILL EVER MEET IN

I AM THE MOST SANE MAN THAT YOU NOW KNOW OR WILL EVER MEET IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

NOW KNOW OR WILL EVER MEET IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. >> OKAY.

YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. >> OKAY. >> NOW, I REALIZE THAT THE

>> OKAY. >> NOW, I REALIZE THAT THE SIMPLE FACT THAT I WOULD EVEN

>> NOW, I REALIZE THAT THE SIMPLE FACT THAT I WOULD EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO YOU

SIMPLE FACT THAT I WOULD EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO YOU IN YOUR MIND NOT ONLY DOESN'T

SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO YOU IN YOUR MIND NOT ONLY DOESN'T QUASH, BUT, IN FACT, AMPLIFIES

IN YOUR MIND NOT ONLY DOESN'T QUASH, BUT, IN FACT, AMPLIFIES YOUR HYPOTHESIS THAT I AM INDEED

QUASH, BUT, IN FACT, AMPLIFIES YOUR HYPOTHESIS THAT I AM INDEED CRAZY.

YOUR HYPOTHESIS THAT I AM INDEED CRAZY. BUT IT DOES NOT.

CRAZY. BUT IT DOES NOT. OKAY, BECAUSE UNDERNEATH ALL OF

BUT IT DOES NOT. OKAY, BECAUSE UNDERNEATH ALL OF THE "CAN'T LOOK AT ME AND SMILE

OKAY, BECAUSE UNDERNEATH ALL OF THE "CAN'T LOOK AT ME AND SMILE LOVINGLY WHILE I EAT," BLAH,

THE "CAN'T LOOK AT ME AND SMILE LOVINGLY WHILE I EAT," BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, IS THE

LOVINGLY WHILE I EAT," BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, IS THE MOST HONEST, GROUNDED PERSON

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, IS THE MOST HONEST, GROUNDED PERSON THAT YOU WILL EVER KNOW.

[ INHALES SHARPLY ] YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT. >> I THOUGHT SO. [ LAUGHS ]

YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT. >> I THOUGHT SO. [ LAUGHS ] [ LAUGHS ]

>> I LOVE THE COLD. DO YOU LOVE THE COLD? >> MM-HMM.

DO YOU LOVE THE COLD? >> MM-HMM. >> YEAH?

>> MM-HMM. >> YEAH? AND THAT THING.

>> YEAH? AND THAT THING. THAT'S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE

AND THAT THING. THAT'S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD.

THAT'S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN UP IT?

WORLD. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN UP IT? >> NO.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN UP IT? >> NO. >> SHALL WE GO UP IT NOW?

>> NO. >> SHALL WE GO UP IT NOW? >> NO.

>> SHALL WE GO UP IT NOW? >> NO. I'M -- I'M GONNA GO HOME NOW.

>> NO. I'M -- I'M GONNA GO HOME NOW. >> COME ON. REALLY?

I'M -- I'M GONNA GO HOME NOW. >> COME ON. REALLY? >> NO. IT'S LATE.

>> COME ON. REALLY? >> NO. IT'S LATE. >> GET FARTHER AWAY.

>> NO. IT'S LATE. >> GET FARTHER AWAY. >> WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

>> GET FARTHER AWAY. >> WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? >> I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

>> WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? >> I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING. I CAN'T SEE.

>> I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING. I CAN'T SEE. >> WHY DON'T YOU WEAR YOUR

I CAN'T SEE. >> WHY DON'T YOU WEAR YOUR GLASSES?

>> WHY DON'T YOU WEAR YOUR GLASSES? >> I DON'T NEED GLASSES.

GLASSES? >> I DON'T NEED GLASSES. BACK UP A STEP.

>> CAN YOU SEE ME NOW? >> PERFECTLY. >> NOW?

>> PERFECTLY. >> NOW? >> YOU HAVE REALLY PRETTY EYES.

>> NOW? >> YOU HAVE REALLY PRETTY EYES. >> THANKS.

HOW ABOUT NOW? >> I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE.

>> I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE. BUT IN THE DICTIONARY UNDER

YOU ARE. BUT IN THE DICTIONARY UNDER "SMITTEN," SHOULD BE HOW YOU

BUT IN THE DICTIONARY UNDER "SMITTEN," SHOULD BE HOW YOU SMELL.

"SMITTEN," SHOULD BE HOW YOU SMELL. >> YOU MUST REALLY LIKE ME IF

SMELL. >> YOU MUST REALLY LIKE ME IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA KISS ME ON THE

>> YOU MUST REALLY LIKE ME IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA KISS ME ON THE FIRST DATE.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA KISS ME ON THE FIRST DATE. >> CORRECT.

FIRST DATE. >> CORRECT. >> SHUCKS.

>> CORRECT. >> SHUCKS. IF WE'D HATED EACH OTHER, WE

>> SHUCKS. IF WE'D HATED EACH OTHER, WE COULD HAVE FUCKED IN THE

IF WE'D HATED EACH OTHER, WE COULD HAVE FUCKED IN THE BATHROOM OF THE RESTAURANT.

COULD HAVE FUCKED IN THE BATHROOM OF THE RESTAURANT. >> YOU REALLY ARE LIKE A BOY.

BATHROOM OF THE RESTAURANT. >> YOU REALLY ARE LIKE A BOY. >> TOLD YA.

>> YOU REALLY ARE LIKE A BOY. >> TOLD YA. >> WANT TO GO OUT TOMORROW

>> TOLD YA. >> WANT TO GO OUT TOMORROW NIGHT?

>> WANT TO GO OUT TOMORROW NIGHT? >> YEAH.

NIGHT? >> YEAH. >> GOOD.

>> YEAH. >> GOOD. IF YOU DON'T SUDDENLY BECOME NOT

>> GOOD. IF YOU DON'T SUDDENLY BECOME NOT YOU, I'M GONNA BE IN LOVE WITH

IF YOU DON'T SUDDENLY BECOME NOT YOU, I'M GONNA BE IN LOVE WITH YOU BY CHRISTMAS.

YOU, I'M GONNA BE IN LOVE WITH YOU BY CHRISTMAS. YOU KNOW, JUST FOR A TIME LINE.

YOU BY CHRISTMAS. YOU KNOW, JUST FOR A TIME LINE. YOU BETTER GO NOW, OR I'M GONNA

YOU KNOW, JUST FOR A TIME LINE. YOU BETTER GO NOW, OR I'M GONNA HAVE A HARD TIME REMAINING A

YOU BETTER GO NOW, OR I'M GONNA HAVE A HARD TIME REMAINING A GENTLEMAN.

HAVE A HARD TIME REMAINING A GENTLEMAN. >> I'M SORRY.

GENTLEMAN. >> I'M SORRY. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

>> I'M SORRY. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU. YOU KNOW, MY ENGLISH WORDS ARE

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU. YOU KNOW, MY ENGLISH WORDS ARE NOT THAT GOOD.

YOU KNOW, MY ENGLISH WORDS ARE NOT THAT GOOD. >> ANYONE WHO KNOWS THE WORD

NOT THAT GOOD. >> ANYONE WHO KNOWS THE WORD "SHUCKS" HAS GOOD ENOUGH ENGLISH

>> ANYONE WHO KNOWS THE WORD "SHUCKS" HAS GOOD ENOUGH ENGLISH WORDS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M

"SHUCKS" HAS GOOD ENOUGH ENGLISH WORDS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

WORDS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. SCRAM.

TALKING ABOUT. SCRAM. >> SCRAM -- NOW, THAT'S A WORD I

SCRAM. >> SCRAM -- NOW, THAT'S A WORD I LIKE.

[ SIGHS ]

>> YOU'RE IN PARIS NOW. EVERYTHING IS FASHION. >> YEAH. YOU THINK?

EVERYTHING IS FASHION. >> YEAH. YOU THINK? EVEN THE HOOKERS SHAME YOU FOR

>> YEAH. YOU THINK? EVEN THE HOOKERS SHAME YOU FOR YOUR OUTFIT HERE.

EVEN THE HOOKERS SHAME YOU FOR YOUR OUTFIT HERE. >> [ LAUGHS ]

YOUR OUTFIT HERE. >> [ LAUGHS ] AND...

>> [ LAUGHS ] AND... THE FINAL TOUCH.

AND... THE FINAL TOUCH. >> IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

THE FINAL TOUCH. >> IT'S BEAUTIFUL. >> GORGEOUS.

>> IT'S BEAUTIFUL. >> GORGEOUS. WELL, YOU WILL WOO HER FOR SURE.

>> GORGEOUS. WELL, YOU WILL WOO HER FOR SURE. YOU'RE COMING OVER FOR

WELL, YOU WILL WOO HER FOR SURE. YOU'RE COMING OVER FOR CHRISTMAS, YES?

YOU'RE COMING OVER FOR CHRISTMAS, YES? >> YEAH.

CHRISTMAS, YES? >> YEAH. >> AND BRING THE GIRL.

>> YEAH. >> AND BRING THE GIRL. WE'RE DYING TO MEET HER.

>> AND BRING THE GIRL. WE'RE DYING TO MEET HER. >> LET'S -- LET'S SEE WHAT

WE'RE DYING TO MEET HER. >> LET'S -- LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS, OKAY?

>> [ SMOOCHES ]

>> [ SPEAKS FRENCH ] >> NO, NO!

>> NO, NO! WHOA, NO, NO.

WHOA, NO, NO. GIVE THAT BACK.

GIVE THAT BACK. GIVE THAT MONEY BACK!

GIVE THAT MONEY BACK! NO, TAKE THIS.

NO, TAKE THIS. TAKE THIS BACK.

TAKE THIS BACK. DON'T DO THIS TO PEOPLE.

DON'T DO THIS TO PEOPLE. NO, NO.

NO, NO. NO, SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME.

NO, SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME. >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU. >> IT'S A CON. DON'T WORRY.

>> IT'S A CON. DON'T WORRY. DON'T DO THAT TO PEOPLE.

DON'T DO THAT TO PEOPLE. GO, GO!

GO, GO! >> [ HISSING ]

>> BONJOUR, BONJOUR. I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE. I WAS SAVING THESE OLD PEOPLE

I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE. I WAS SAVING THESE OLD PEOPLE FROM GETTING SWINDLED BY

I WAS SAVING THESE OLD PEOPLE FROM GETTING SWINDLED BY GYPSIES.

FROM GETTING SWINDLED BY GYPSIES. >> PALM READING?

GYPSIES. >> PALM READING? >> NO, NO.

>> PALM READING? >> NO, NO. SHE PRETENDS TO FIND THIS RING

>> NO, NO. SHE PRETENDS TO FIND THIS RING AT YOUR FEET.

SHE PRETENDS TO FIND THIS RING AT YOUR FEET. >> OH. THE LOST RING.

AT YOUR FEET. >> OH. THE LOST RING. >> WHAT, YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?

>> OH. THE LOST RING. >> WHAT, YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? >> MM-HMM.

>> WHAT, YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? >> MM-HMM. >> SHE DID THE EXACT SAME THING

>> MM-HMM. >> SHE DID THE EXACT SAME THING TO ME THREE NIGHTS AGO.

>> SHE DID THE EXACT SAME THING TO ME THREE NIGHTS AGO. >> YOU DIDN'T GIVE HER MONEY?

TO ME THREE NIGHTS AGO. >> YOU DIDN'T GIVE HER MONEY? AW.

>> YOU DIDN'T GIVE HER MONEY? AW. >> WHAT? IT WAS MY FIRST NIGHT

AW. >> WHAT? IT WAS MY FIRST NIGHT IN PARIS, OKAY?

>> WHAT? IT WAS MY FIRST NIGHT IN PARIS, OKAY? MY STREET SKILLS WERE A LITTLE

IN PARIS, OKAY? MY STREET SKILLS WERE A LITTLE JET-LAGGED OR WHATEVER.

MY STREET SKILLS WERE A LITTLE JET-LAGGED OR WHATEVER. I-I'M IN ROMANTIC PARIS ON THIS

JET-LAGGED OR WHATEVER. I-I'M IN ROMANTIC PARIS ON THIS MAGICAL BRIDGE, AND THIS SWEET,

I-I'M IN ROMANTIC PARIS ON THIS MAGICAL BRIDGE, AND THIS SWEET, LITTLE LADY GIVES ME THIS, LIKE,

MAGICAL BRIDGE, AND THIS SWEET, LITTLE LADY GIVES ME THIS, LIKE, GRACED RING THAT GOD LAID AT MY

LITTLE LADY GIVES ME THIS, LIKE, GRACED RING THAT GOD LAID AT MY FEET FOR MY BRIDE-TO-BE, OKAY?

GRACED RING THAT GOD LAID AT MY FEET FOR MY BRIDE-TO-BE, OKAY? >> [ CHUCKLES ]

FEET FOR MY BRIDE-TO-BE, OKAY? >> [ CHUCKLES ] >> I FUCKING GAVE HER SOME

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> I FUCKING GAVE HER SOME MONEY.

>> I FUCKING GAVE HER SOME MONEY. LISTEN, IT'S NOT FUNNY.

MONEY. LISTEN, IT'S NOT FUNNY. SO, AFTER I SAVED THE PEOPLE,

LISTEN, IT'S NOT FUNNY. SO, AFTER I SAVED THE PEOPLE, THEN TOLD THE LADY TO FUCK OFF

SO, AFTER I SAVED THE PEOPLE, THEN TOLD THE LADY TO FUCK OFF AND NEVER DO THAT ANYMORE...

THEN TOLD THE LADY TO FUCK OFF AND NEVER DO THAT ANYMORE... >> MM-HMM?

AND NEVER DO THAT ANYMORE... >> MM-HMM? >> ...SHE STARTED SCREAMING AT

>> MM-HMM? >> ...SHE STARTED SCREAMING AT ME AND DOING THIS WEIRD, LIKE...

>> ...SHE STARTED SCREAMING AT ME AND DOING THIS WEIRD, LIKE... [ HISSING ]

ME AND DOING THIS WEIRD, LIKE... [ HISSING ] ...AT ME.

[ HISSING ] ...AT ME. AND THEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS

...AT ME. AND THEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS WATCHING ME.

AND THEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS WATCHING ME. SO YOU DON'T THINK, LIKE, THAT

WATCHING ME. SO YOU DON'T THINK, LIKE, THAT SHE'S GONNA GET, LIKE, THE GYPSY

SO YOU DON'T THINK, LIKE, THAT SHE'S GONNA GET, LIKE, THE GYPSY MEN TO COME STAB ME IN THE ASS

SHE'S GONNA GET, LIKE, THE GYPSY MEN TO COME STAB ME IN THE ASS OR SOMETHING, LIKE, WHEN I'M

MEN TO COME STAB ME IN THE ASS OR SOMETHING, LIKE, WHEN I'M WALKING DOWN THE ST--

OR SOMETHING, LIKE, WHEN I'M WALKING DOWN THE ST-- >> NO.

WALKING DOWN THE ST-- >> NO. >> BUT SHE SAID SHE WAS WATCHING

>> NO. >> BUT SHE SAID SHE WAS WATCHING ME, LIKE SHE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE.

>> BUT SHE SAID SHE WAS WATCHING ME, LIKE SHE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE. >> SHE SPOKE ENGLISH?

ME, LIKE SHE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE. >> SHE SPOKE ENGLISH? >> NO.

>> SHE SPOKE ENGLISH? >> NO. >> THEN HOW --

>> NO. >> THEN HOW -- >> SHE DID THIS THING WITH --

>> THEN HOW -- >> SHE DID THIS THING WITH -- WITH HER THING, LIKE THIS.

>> SHE DID THIS THING WITH -- WITH HER THING, LIKE THIS. SHE WENT LIKE, "I'M WATCHING

WITH HER THING, LIKE THIS. SHE WENT LIKE, "I'M WATCHING YOU.

SHE WENT LIKE, "I'M WATCHING YOU. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE."

YOU. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE." >> THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S

I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE." >> THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S WATCHING YOU.

>> THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S WATCHING YOU. THAT MEANS SHE PUTS A CURSE ON

WATCHING YOU. THAT MEANS SHE PUTS A CURSE ON YOU.

THAT MEANS SHE PUTS A CURSE ON YOU. >> ARE YOU SURE?

YOU. >> ARE YOU SURE? >> YEAH. THEY'RE HARMLESS.

>> ARE YOU SURE? >> YEAH. THEY'RE HARMLESS. >> THAT'S A CURSE?

>> YEAH. THEY'RE HARMLESS. >> THAT'S A CURSE? THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT SOME

>> THAT'S A CURSE? THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT SOME GYPSY CLAN'S GONNA COME GET ME

THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT SOME GYPSY CLAN'S GONNA COME GET ME WHEN I'M NOT WATCHING?

GYPSY CLAN'S GONNA COME GET ME WHEN I'M NOT WATCHING? >> JUST A CURSE.

WHEN I'M NOT WATCHING? >> JUST A CURSE. >> OH, WELL, FINE.

>> JUST A CURSE. >> OH, WELL, FINE. I COULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A

>> OH, WELL, FINE. I COULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A CURSE.

I COULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A CURSE. CURSE, SCHMURSE.

CURSE. CURSE, SCHMURSE. I EAT CURSES FOR BREAKFAST.

CURSE, SCHMURSE. I EAT CURSES FOR BREAKFAST. JUST AS LONG AS SHE'S NOT GONNA

I EAT CURSES FOR BREAKFAST. JUST AS LONG AS SHE'S NOT GONNA COME CUT MY THROAT IN THE NIGHT,

JUST AS LONG AS SHE'S NOT GONNA COME CUT MY THROAT IN THE NIGHT, I CAN...

COME CUT MY THROAT IN THE NIGHT, I CAN... >> BUT YOU NEED TO STOP

I CAN... >> BUT YOU NEED TO STOP PANTOMIMING AT FRENCH WOMEN.

>> BUT YOU NEED TO STOP PANTOMIMING AT FRENCH WOMEN. YOU SEE?

PANTOMIMING AT FRENCH WOMEN. YOU SEE? YOU KEEP GETTING IN TROUBLE.

YOU SEE? YOU KEEP GETTING IN TROUBLE. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU KEEP GETTING IN TROUBLE. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? SHE PANTOMIMED ME.

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? SHE PANTOMIMED ME. >> YEAH, SURE.

SHE PANTOMIMED ME. >> YEAH, SURE. >> WHAT?!

>> YEAH, SURE. >> WHAT?! WHAT -- WHAT FRENCH WOMEN AM

>> WHAT?! WHAT -- WHAT FRENCH WOMEN AM I -- HAVE I BEEN PANTOMIMING?

WHAT -- WHAT FRENCH WOMEN AM I -- HAVE I BEEN PANTOMIMING? >> ME, THE FIRST TIME WE MET AT

I -- HAVE I BEEN PANTOMIMING? >> ME, THE FIRST TIME WE MET AT THE ORANGE STORE.

>> ME, THE FIRST TIME WE MET AT THE ORANGE STORE. >> WHAT DID I PANTOMIME YOU?!

THE ORANGE STORE. >> WHAT DID I PANTOMIME YOU?! >> YOU ASKED IF I WAS STRICT

>> WHAT DID I PANTOMIME YOU?! >> YOU ASKED IF I WAS STRICT WITH MY BOYFRIENDS LIKE I AM

>> YOU ASKED IF I WAS STRICT WITH MY BOYFRIENDS LIKE I AM WITH MY DOG, AND YOU WENT -- YOU

WITH MY BOYFRIENDS LIKE I AM WITH MY DOG, AND YOU WENT -- YOU THOUGHT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, SO

WITH MY DOG, AND YOU WENT -- YOU THOUGHT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, SO YOU WENT -- YOU WENT LIKE THIS.

THOUGHT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, SO YOU WENT -- YOU WENT LIKE THIS. AS IF THAT'S THE UNIVERSAL SIGNS

YOU WENT -- YOU WENT LIKE THIS. AS IF THAT'S THE UNIVERSAL SIGNS FOR BEING STRICT WITH ONE'S

AS IF THAT'S THE UNIVERSAL SIGNS FOR BEING STRICT WITH ONE'S LOVER.

FOR BEING STRICT WITH ONE'S LOVER. >> OKAY, WELL, IF YOU HADN'T OF,

LOVER. >> OKAY, WELL, IF YOU HADN'T OF, YOU KNOW, PRETENDED NOT TO SPEAK

>> OKAY, WELL, IF YOU HADN'T OF, YOU KNOW, PRETENDED NOT TO SPEAK ENGLISH AND JUST WENT OUT TO

YOU KNOW, PRETENDED NOT TO SPEAK ENGLISH AND JUST WENT OUT TO MOCK AND RIDICULE INNOCENT

ENGLISH AND JUST WENT OUT TO MOCK AND RIDICULE INNOCENT GENTLEMAN SUITORS --

MOCK AND RIDICULE INNOCENT GENTLEMAN SUITORS -- >> INNOCENT?

GENTLEMAN SUITORS -- >> INNOCENT? >> YEAH, I WAS AN INNOCENT

>> INNOCENT? >> YEAH, I WAS AN INNOCENT GENTLEMAN SUITOR.

>> YEAH, I WAS AN INNOCENT GENTLEMAN SUITOR. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

GENTLEMAN SUITOR. >> [ CHUCKLES ] YOU DO LOOK LIKE A GENTLEMAN

>> [ CHUCKLES ] YOU DO LOOK LIKE A GENTLEMAN TODAY.

YOU DO LOOK LIKE A GENTLEMAN TODAY. DO YOU HAVE A HOT DATE?

TODAY. DO YOU HAVE A HOT DATE? >> I DID HAVE ONE, AND THEN I

DO YOU HAVE A HOT DATE? >> I DID HAVE ONE, AND THEN I CANCELED ABOUT FUCKING 10

>> I DID HAVE ONE, AND THEN I CANCELED ABOUT FUCKING 10 SECONDS AGO.

CANCELED ABOUT FUCKING 10 SECONDS AGO. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

SECONDS AGO. >> [ CHUCKLES ] NO, YOU LOOK NICE.

>> [ CHUCKLES ] NO, YOU LOOK NICE. >> THANK YOU.

NO, YOU LOOK NICE. >> THANK YOU. >> THE SUIT SUITS YOU.

>> THANK YOU. >> THE SUIT SUITS YOU. >> THANK YOU.

>> THE SUIT SUITS YOU. >> THANK YOU. >> CAN YOU SAY THAT?

>> THANK YOU. >> CAN YOU SAY THAT? >> YEAH.

>> CAN YOU SAY THAT? >> YEAH. >> "THE SUIT SUITS YOU"?

>> YEAH. >> "THE SUIT SUITS YOU"? >> YEAH. THE SUIT SUITS YOU.

>> "THE SUIT SUITS YOU"? >> YEAH. THE SUIT SUITS YOU. >> NO, BUT WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

>> YEAH. THE SUIT SUITS YOU. >> NO, BUT WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? WELL, NORMALLY, YOU WOULD SAY

>> NO, BUT WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? WELL, NORMALLY, YOU WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, YOU KNOW, "YOU

WELL, NORMALLY, YOU WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, YOU KNOW, "YOU LOOK GOOD IN A SUIT," OR, "YOU

SOMETHING LIKE, YOU KNOW, "YOU LOOK GOOD IN A SUIT," OR, "YOU WEAR THAT SUIT WELL."

LOOK GOOD IN A SUIT," OR, "YOU WEAR THAT SUIT WELL." >> BUT NOT "THE SUIT SUITS YOU"?

WEAR THAT SUIT WELL." >> BUT NOT "THE SUIT SUITS YOU"? >> NO, I-I LIKE "THE SUIT SUITS

>> BUT NOT "THE SUIT SUITS YOU"? >> NO, I-I LIKE "THE SUIT SUITS YOU."

>> NO, I-I LIKE "THE SUIT SUITS YOU." I THINK YOU SHOULD STICK WITH

YOU." I THINK YOU SHOULD STICK WITH THAT.

I THINK YOU SHOULD STICK WITH THAT. >> NO, I DON'T WANT TO SAY IT.

THAT. >> NO, I DON'T WANT TO SAY IT. DON'T MAKE ME STUPID.

>> NO, I DON'T WANT TO SAY IT. DON'T MAKE ME STUPID. >> WHAT? SOPHIE! WHAT?

DON'T MAKE ME STUPID. >> WHAT? SOPHIE! WHAT? COME ON. YOU'RE NOT REALLY MAD.

>> WHAT? SOPHIE! WHAT? COME ON. YOU'RE NOT REALLY MAD. >> YES, I'M MAD!

COME ON. YOU'RE NOT REALLY MAD. >> YES, I'M MAD! I DON'T LIKE THAT!

>> YES, I'M MAD! I DON'T LIKE THAT! DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH ME LIKE

I DON'T LIKE THAT! DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH ME LIKE THAT!

DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH ME LIKE THAT! I'M -- I'M NOT SOME FRENCH DOLL

THAT! I'M -- I'M NOT SOME FRENCH DOLL FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH!

I'M -- I'M NOT SOME FRENCH DOLL FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH! IT'S NOT CORRECT TO SAY IT THIS

FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH! IT'S NOT CORRECT TO SAY IT THIS WAY, AND I DON'T WANT TO SOUND

IT'S NOT CORRECT TO SAY IT THIS WAY, AND I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT!

WAY, AND I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT! >> I'M -- I'M SORRY.

LIKE AN IDIOT! >> I'M -- I'M SORRY. SOPHIE, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

>> I'M -- I'M SORRY. SOPHIE, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. IT WAS SWEET HOW YOU SAID IT.

SOPHIE, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. IT WAS SWEET HOW YOU SAID IT. I'M SORRY.

IT WAS SWEET HOW YOU SAID IT. I'M SORRY. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

I'M SORRY. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. >> SO...

IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. >> SO... I THOUGHT WE -- WE COULD GET A

>> SO... I THOUGHT WE -- WE COULD GET A BUNCH OF STUFF FROM THE MARKET

I THOUGHT WE -- WE COULD GET A BUNCH OF STUFF FROM THE MARKET AND GO TO MY PLACE.

BUNCH OF STUFF FROM THE MARKET AND GO TO MY PLACE. >> THAT SOUNDS PERFECT.

AND GO TO MY PLACE. >> THAT SOUNDS PERFECT. OH, GOD.

>> THAT SOUNDS PERFECT. OH, GOD. IT'S LIKE CLOSED, EXCEPT FOR THE

OH, GOD. IT'S LIKE CLOSED, EXCEPT FOR THE CHEESE.

IT'S LIKE CLOSED, EXCEPT FOR THE CHEESE. >> [ LAUGHS ]

CHEESE. >> [ LAUGHS ] >> THE CHEESE LADY IS STILL

>> [ LAUGHS ] >> THE CHEESE LADY IS STILL HERE.

>> THE CHEESE LADY IS STILL HERE. THANK -- I LOVE CHEESE.

HERE. THANK -- I LOVE CHEESE. >> YOU LIKE CHEESE?

THANK -- I LOVE CHEESE. >> YOU LIKE CHEESE? >> LET'S JUST HAVE A -- WE'LL

>> YOU LIKE CHEESE? >> LET'S JUST HAVE A -- WE'LL JUST HAVE A CHEESE DINNER.

>> LET'S JUST HAVE A -- WE'LL JUST HAVE A CHEESE DINNER. WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ALL THIS

JUST HAVE A CHEESE DINNER. WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ALL THIS OTHER -- WE'LL JUST HAVE ONLY

WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ALL THIS OTHER -- WE'LL JUST HAVE ONLY CHEESE, AND THEN WE'LL RATE IT.

OTHER -- WE'LL JUST HAVE ONLY CHEESE, AND THEN WE'LL RATE IT. I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT OUR

CHEESE, AND THEN WE'LL RATE IT. I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT OUR CHEESE CONTEST, I GOT TO TELL

I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT OUR CHEESE CONTEST, I GOT TO TELL YOU.

CHEESE CONTEST, I GOT TO TELL YOU. ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT IT?

YOU. ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT IT? >> YEAH, I'M EXCITED.

ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT IT? >> YEAH, I'M EXCITED. >> SO, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK?

>> YEAH, I'M EXCITED. >> SO, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? >> I-I TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE WHO

>> SO, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? >> I-I TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE WHO ARE DYING.

>> I-I TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE WHO ARE DYING. >> GOD. THAT'S INTENSE.

ARE DYING. >> GOD. THAT'S INTENSE. [ Sighing ] OH, MAN.

>> GOD. THAT'S INTENSE. [ Sighing ] OH, MAN. YOU TAKING CARE OF ANYONE NOW?

[ Sighing ] OH, MAN. YOU TAKING CARE OF ANYONE NOW? >> A LITTLE GIRL.

YOU TAKING CARE OF ANYONE NOW? >> A LITTLE GIRL. >> REALLY?

>> A LITTLE GIRL. >> REALLY? >> YEAH, IT'S -- IT'S THE FIRST

>> REALLY? >> YEAH, IT'S -- IT'S THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENS LIKE THAT.

>> YEAH, IT'S -- IT'S THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENS LIKE THAT. USUALLY, IT'S, UH, OLD PEOPLE

TIME IT HAPPENS LIKE THAT. USUALLY, IT'S, UH, OLD PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED A NICE, LONG

USUALLY, IT'S, UH, OLD PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED A NICE, LONG LIFE, YOU KNOW, SO SOMEHOW

WHO HAVE LIVED A NICE, LONG LIFE, YOU KNOW, SO SOMEHOW IT'S -- IT'S A BIT MORE

LIFE, YOU KNOW, SO SOMEHOW IT'S -- IT'S A BIT MORE MANAGEABLE FOR ME.

IT'S -- IT'S A BIT MORE MANAGEABLE FOR ME. >> HOW OLD IS SHE?

MANAGEABLE FOR ME. >> HOW OLD IS SHE? >> 13. SHE HAS LEUKEMIA.

>> HOW OLD IS SHE? >> 13. SHE HAS LEUKEMIA. >> IS THERE ANY CHANCE SHE CAN

>> 13. SHE HAS LEUKEMIA. >> IS THERE ANY CHANCE SHE CAN GET BETTER?

>> IS THERE ANY CHANCE SHE CAN GET BETTER? >> NO. SHE'LL DIE SOON.

GET BETTER? >> NO. SHE'LL DIE SOON. >> HOW LONG DOES SHE HAVE TO

>> NO. SHE'LL DIE SOON. >> HOW LONG DOES SHE HAVE TO LIVE?

>> HOW LONG DOES SHE HAVE TO LIVE? >> IT'S HARD TO SAY.

LIVE? >> IT'S HARD TO SAY. SHE MIGHT BE WAITING FOR

>> IT'S HARD TO SAY. SHE MIGHT BE WAITING FOR CHRISTMAS SINCE SHE'S A KID, OR

SHE MIGHT BE WAITING FOR CHRISTMAS SINCE SHE'S A KID, OR TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER FAMILY, OR

CHRISTMAS SINCE SHE'S A KID, OR TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER FAMILY, OR BOTH.

TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER FAMILY, OR BOTH. >> GOD, THAT'S SO AWFUL.

BOTH. >> GOD, THAT'S SO AWFUL. >> YEAH.

>> GOD, THAT'S SO AWFUL. >> YEAH. SHE REMINDS ME OF ME WHEN I WAS

>> YEAH. SHE REMINDS ME OF ME WHEN I WAS HER AGE.

SHE REMINDS ME OF ME WHEN I WAS HER AGE. >> REALLY? HOW SO?

HER AGE. >> REALLY? HOW SO? >> I DON'T KNOW. SHE JUST DOES.

>> REALLY? HOW SO? >> I DON'T KNOW. SHE JUST DOES. SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

>> I DON'T KNOW. SHE JUST DOES. SO, WHAT DO YOU DO? >> NOTHING NEARLY THAT

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO? >> NOTHING NEARLY THAT IMPORTANT.

>> NOTHING NEARLY THAT IMPORTANT. >> AW, COME ON.

IMPORTANT. >> AW, COME ON. EVERYTHING'S IMPORTANT.

>> AW, COME ON. EVERYTHING'S IMPORTANT. WITHOUT A PLUMBER, WHERE WOULD

EVERYTHING'S IMPORTANT. WITHOUT A PLUMBER, WHERE WOULD WE GO TO THE BATHROOM?

WITHOUT A PLUMBER, WHERE WOULD WE GO TO THE BATHROOM? [ CHUCKLES ]

WE GO TO THE BATHROOM? [ CHUCKLES ] >> GOOD CALL.

[ CHUCKLES ] >> GOOD CALL. [ CLEARS THROAT ]

>> GOOD CALL. [ CLEARS THROAT ] >> I WRITE BOOKS.

[ CLEARS THROAT ] >> I WRITE BOOKS. >> REALLY?

>> I WRITE BOOKS. >> REALLY? >> YEAH.

>> REALLY? >> YEAH. >> WHAT BOOKS?

>> YEAH. >> WHAT BOOKS? >> UH, THE FIRST ONE WAS CALLED

>> WHAT BOOKS? >> UH, THE FIRST ONE WAS CALLED "THE BLAMELESS," WHICH CAME OUT

>> UH, THE FIRST ONE WAS CALLED "THE BLAMELESS," WHICH CAME OUT IN 1986, BEFORE YOU WERE BORN.

"THE BLAMELESS," WHICH CAME OUT IN 1986, BEFORE YOU WERE BORN. >> I WAS BORN IN '85, THANK YOU.

IN 1986, BEFORE YOU WERE BORN. >> I WAS BORN IN '85, THANK YOU. [ LAUGHS ]

>> I WAS BORN IN '85, THANK YOU. [ LAUGHS ] >> IS IT WEIRD AT ALL FOR YOU TO

[ LAUGHS ] >> IS IT WEIRD AT ALL FOR YOU TO GO OUT WITH SOMEBODY 15 YEARS

>> IS IT WEIRD AT ALL FOR YOU TO GO OUT WITH SOMEBODY 15 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU?

GO OUT WITH SOMEBODY 15 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU? >> NO.

OLDER THAN YOU? >> NO. >> BECAUSE OF -- YOU'RE FRENCH?

>> NO. >> BECAUSE OF -- YOU'RE FRENCH? >> NO. BECAUSE FATHER ISSUES.

>> BECAUSE OF -- YOU'RE FRENCH? >> NO. BECAUSE FATHER ISSUES. >> [ LAUGHS ]

>> NO. BECAUSE FATHER ISSUES. >> [ LAUGHS ] OH, SO IT'S EXACTLY LIKE

>> [ LAUGHS ] OH, SO IT'S EXACTLY LIKE AMERICA?

OH, SO IT'S EXACTLY LIKE AMERICA? >> [ CHUCKLES ]

AMERICA? >> [ CHUCKLES ] >> PERFECT.

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> PERFECT. WELL, THAT'S COMFORTING KNOWING.

>> PERFECT. WELL, THAT'S COMFORTING KNOWING. >> DO YOU USUALLY DATE WOMEN MY

WELL, THAT'S COMFORTING KNOWING. >> DO YOU USUALLY DATE WOMEN MY AGE?

>> DO YOU USUALLY DATE WOMEN MY AGE? >> UH, NO.

AGE? >> UH, NO. USUALLY A LITTLE OLDER.

>> UH, NO. USUALLY A LITTLE OLDER. >> THEN IT'S WEIRD FOR YOU?

USUALLY A LITTLE OLDER. >> THEN IT'S WEIRD FOR YOU? >> NO.

>> THEN IT'S WEIRD FOR YOU? >> NO. NO, AS LONG AS YOU CAN NAME

>> NO. NO, AS LONG AS YOU CAN NAME THREE BEATLE ALBUMS, KNOW WHAT

NO, AS LONG AS YOU CAN NAME THREE BEATLE ALBUMS, KNOW WHAT AN ALBUM IS, AND ARE A GOOD

THREE BEATLE ALBUMS, KNOW WHAT AN ALBUM IS, AND ARE A GOOD KISSER, THEN I THINK WE HAVE AN

AN ALBUM IS, AND ARE A GOOD KISSER, THEN I THINK WE HAVE AN EXCELLENT SHOT AT HAPPILY EVER

KISSER, THEN I THINK WE HAVE AN EXCELLENT SHOT AT HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

EXCELLENT SHOT AT HAPPILY EVER AFTER. >> AND I STILL CAN'T LOOK AT YOU

AFTER. >> AND I STILL CAN'T LOOK AT YOU AND SMILE AND TOUCH YOU, LIKE,

>> AND I STILL CAN'T LOOK AT YOU AND SMILE AND TOUCH YOU, LIKE, WHILE YOU EAT, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH?

AND SMILE AND TOUCH YOU, LIKE, WHILE YOU EAT, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH? >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

WHILE YOU EAT, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH? >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. THAT'S UNIVERSAL.

>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. THAT'S UNIVERSAL. YOU CAN NEVER DO THAT.

THAT'S UNIVERSAL. YOU CAN NEVER DO THAT. >> RIGHT.

YOU CAN NEVER DO THAT. >> RIGHT. >> OKAY. GO.

>> RIGHT. >> OKAY. GO. COME ON.

>> OKAY. GO. COME ON. >> [ SIGHS ]

COME ON. >> [ SIGHS ] "ABBEY ROAD," "REVOLVER," AND

>> [ SIGHS ] "ABBEY ROAD," "REVOLVER," AND "THE WHITE ALBUM," WHICH IS A

"ABBEY ROAD," "REVOLVER," AND "THE WHITE ALBUM," WHICH IS A BIG, ROUND, VINYL THING WHICH

"THE WHITE ALBUM," WHICH IS A BIG, ROUND, VINYL THING WHICH COMES IN A BIG, FLAT, SQUARE BOX

BIG, ROUND, VINYL THING WHICH COMES IN A BIG, FLAT, SQUARE BOX WITH A PRINTED PICTURE IN IT.

COMES IN A BIG, FLAT, SQUARE BOX WITH A PRINTED PICTURE IN IT. OR IT CAN JUST BE WHITE.

WITH A PRINTED PICTURE IN IT. OR IT CAN JUST BE WHITE. >> VERY GOOD.

OR IT CAN JUST BE WHITE. >> VERY GOOD. >> AND AT THIS RATE, THE KISSING

>> VERY GOOD. >> AND AT THIS RATE, THE KISSING YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER FIND OUT

>> AND AT THIS RATE, THE KISSING YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER FIND OUT ABOUT.

YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER FIND OUT ABOUT. >> [ CHUCKLES ] OH...

ABOUT. >> [ CHUCKLES ] OH... >> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> [ CHUCKLES ] OH... >> [ CHUCKLES ] OH, YOU SEE THAT BUILDING?!

>> [ CHUCKLES ] OH, YOU SEE THAT BUILDING?! IT USED TO BE AN OLD MOVIE

OH, YOU SEE THAT BUILDING?! IT USED TO BE AN OLD MOVIE THEATER THAT ONLY SHOWED OLD

IT USED TO BE AN OLD MOVIE THEATER THAT ONLY SHOWED OLD AMERICAN FILMS.

THEATER THAT ONLY SHOWED OLD AMERICAN FILMS. >> REALLY?

AMERICAN FILMS. >> REALLY? >> YOU KNOW, LIKE THE -- THE

>> REALLY? >> YOU KNOW, LIKE THE -- THE CHARLTON HESTON MOVIES.

>> YOU KNOW, LIKE THE -- THE CHARLTON HESTON MOVIES. >> CHARLTON HESTON MOVIES?

CHARLTON HESTON MOVIES. >> CHARLTON HESTON MOVIES? >> YEAH, THE...

>> CHARLTON HESTON MOVIES? >> YEAH, THE... CHARL-- YOU KNOW,

>> YEAH, THE... CHARL-- YOU KNOW, CHARLTON HESTON.

CHARL-- YOU KNOW, CHARLTON HESTON. [ LAUGHS ]

CHARLTON HESTON. [ LAUGHS ] >> WELL, CHARLTON HESTON WAS

[ LAUGHS ] >> WELL, CHARLTON HESTON WAS THIS EXTREMELY KIND OF TOUGH,

>> WELL, CHARLTON HESTON WAS THIS EXTREMELY KIND OF TOUGH, MACHO, LEADING-MAN ACTOR.

THIS EXTREMELY KIND OF TOUGH, MACHO, LEADING-MAN ACTOR. HE PLAYED MOSES IN

MACHO, LEADING-MAN ACTOR. HE PLAYED MOSES IN "THE TEN COMMANDMENTS."

HE PLAYED MOSES IN "THE TEN COMMANDMENTS." HE, LIKE, PARTED THE RED SEA.

"THE TEN COMMANDMENTS." HE, LIKE, PARTED THE RED SEA. I-I DON'T THINK HE -- HE REALLY

HE, LIKE, PARTED THE RED SEA. I-I DON'T THINK HE -- HE REALLY DANCED LIKE THAT IN MOVIES.

I-I DON'T THINK HE -- HE REALLY DANCED LIKE THAT IN MOVIES. I COULD BE WRONG, BUT -- YOU

DANCED LIKE THAT IN MOVIES. I COULD BE WRONG, BUT -- YOU SURE IT WAS --

I COULD BE WRONG, BUT -- YOU SURE IT WAS -- >> OKAY, SO, UH, WHAT WERE,

SURE IT WAS -- >> OKAY, SO, UH, WHAT WERE, UM -- WHAT WAS THE DANCE IN THE

>> OKAY, SO, UH, WHAT WERE, UM -- WHAT WAS THE DANCE IN THE '30s?

UM -- WHAT WAS THE DANCE IN THE '30s? YOU KNOW, THE -- WASN'T IT THE

'30s? YOU KNOW, THE -- WASN'T IT THE CHARLTON HESTON?

YOU KNOW, THE -- WASN'T IT THE CHARLTON HESTON? >> OH, OH, DO -- DO YOU MEAN THE

CHARLTON HESTON? >> OH, OH, DO -- DO YOU MEAN THE CHARLESTON?

>> OH, OH, DO -- DO YOU MEAN THE CHARLESTON? >> YEAH, RIGHT. THE CHARLESTON.

CHARLESTON? >> YEAH, RIGHT. THE CHARLESTON. >> OKAY, SO THAT'S THE MOVIE

>> YEAH, RIGHT. THE CHARLESTON. >> OKAY, SO THAT'S THE MOVIE THEATER THAT SHOWS MOVIES WHERE

>> OKAY, SO THAT'S THE MOVIE THEATER THAT SHOWS MOVIES WHERE THEY DANCE THE CHARLESTON, NOT

THEATER THAT SHOWS MOVIES WHERE THEY DANCE THE CHARLESTON, NOT CHARLTON HESTON MOVIES.

THEY DANCE THE CHARLESTON, NOT CHARLTON HESTON MOVIES. [ CHUCKLES ]

CHARLTON HESTON MOVIES. [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT?

[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT? >> I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!

WHAT? >> I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT! >> DO WHAT?

>> I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT! >> DO WHAT? >> TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID!

>> DO WHAT? >> TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID! >> OH, COME ON.

>> TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID! >> OH, COME ON. YOU MADE A JOKE ABOUT THE

>> OH, COME ON. YOU MADE A JOKE ABOUT THE CHARLTON HESTON CHARLESTON.

YOU MADE A JOKE ABOUT THE CHARLTON HESTON CHARLESTON. YOU -- YOU CAN'T GET MAD AT ME

CHARLTON HESTON CHARLESTON. YOU -- YOU CAN'T GET MAD AT ME FOR THAT.

YOU -- YOU CAN'T GET MAD AT ME FOR THAT. >> I DIDN'T MAKE A JOKE!

FOR THAT. >> I DIDN'T MAKE A JOKE! I MAKE A MISTAKE!

>> I DIDN'T MAKE A JOKE! I MAKE A MISTAKE! YOU LAUGH ONCE, YOU DON'T HAVE

I MAKE A MISTAKE! YOU LAUGH ONCE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT ALL THE

YOU LAUGH ONCE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME!

TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! >> OKAY, I'M SORRY.

TIME! >> OKAY, I'M SORRY. >> I WANT YOU TO GO NOW!

>> OKAY, I'M SORRY. >> I WANT YOU TO GO NOW! >> COME ON.

>> I WANT YOU TO GO NOW! >> COME ON. >> DON'T EVER TOUCH ME LIKE

>> COME ON. >> DON'T EVER TOUCH ME LIKE THAT.

[ LAUGHS ] >> OH, GOD. OH, FUCK ME. FUCK ME.

>> OH, GOD. OH, FUCK ME. FUCK ME. [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

FUCK ME. [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] WHERE'S THE CHEESE?

IT'S TIME TO RATE THEM. YOU GO FIRST. >> OKAY, SO, HOW DO YOU WANT TO

YOU GO FIRST. >> OKAY, SO, HOW DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?

>> OKAY, SO, HOW DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

DO THIS? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> WELL, ARE WE GONNA RATE THESE

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> WELL, ARE WE GONNA RATE THESE CHEESES AGAINST ALL FOOD?

>> WELL, ARE WE GONNA RATE THESE CHEESES AGAINST ALL FOOD? I MEAN, ALL CHEESE IS BETTER

CHEESES AGAINST ALL FOOD? I MEAN, ALL CHEESE IS BETTER THAN BRUSSELS SPROUTS.

I MEAN, ALL CHEESE IS BETTER THAN BRUSSELS SPROUTS. SO DO WE NEED A DIFFERENT SCALE

THAN BRUSSELS SPROUTS. SO DO WE NEED A DIFFERENT SCALE OR...?

SO DO WE NEED A DIFFERENT SCALE OR...? >> NO, NO.

OR...? >> NO, NO. W-WE'LL RATE THEM AGAINST ALL

>> NO, NO. W-WE'LL RATE THEM AGAINST ALL FOODS, AND -- AND WE'LL GO LIKE

W-WE'LL RATE THEM AGAINST ALL FOODS, AND -- AND WE'LL GO LIKE THIS.

FOODS, AND -- AND WE'LL GO LIKE THIS. LIKE, OKAY, SO, IF DOG SHIT WAS

THIS. LIKE, OKAY, SO, IF DOG SHIT WAS 1 AND CHOCOLATE CAKE WAS 10,

LIKE, OKAY, SO, IF DOG SHIT WAS 1 AND CHOCOLATE CAKE WAS 10, RATE THESE CHEESES.

1 AND CHOCOLATE CAKE WAS 10, RATE THESE CHEESES. >> WHAT'S WORSE THAN DOG SHIT?

RATE THESE CHEESES. >> WHAT'S WORSE THAN DOG SHIT? >> [ LAUGHS ] NOTHING.

>> WHAT'S WORSE THAN DOG SHIT? >> [ LAUGHS ] NOTHING. THAT'S WHY IT'S 1.

>> [ LAUGHS ] NOTHING. THAT'S WHY IT'S 1. IT'S THE LOWEST.

THAT'S WHY IT'S 1. IT'S THE LOWEST. >> ZERO IS THE LOWEST.

IT'S THE LOWEST. >> ZERO IS THE LOWEST. >> [ LAUGHS ] THAT'S RIGHT.

>> ZERO IS THE LOWEST. >> [ LAUGHS ] THAT'S RIGHT. IN FRANCE, THE GROUND FLOOR IS

>> [ LAUGHS ] THAT'S RIGHT. IN FRANCE, THE GROUND FLOOR IS ZERO.

IN FRANCE, THE GROUND FLOOR IS ZERO. IT'S NOT ONE.

ZERO. IT'S NOT ONE. >> 'CAUSE WHAT, IN THE STATES,

IT'S NOT ONE. >> 'CAUSE WHAT, IN THE STATES, IT'S --

>> 'CAUSE WHAT, IN THE STATES, IT'S -- >> IT'S ONE.

IT'S -- >> IT'S ONE. THE GROUND FLOOR IS ONE.

>> IT'S ONE. THE GROUND FLOOR IS ONE. >> EVERYTHING HAS TO BE MORE IN

THE GROUND FLOOR IS ONE. >> EVERYTHING HAS TO BE MORE IN THE STATES.

>> EVERYTHING HAS TO BE MORE IN THE STATES. [ LAUGHS ]

THE STATES. [ LAUGHS ] >> OH, PLEASE.

[ LAUGHS ] >> OH, PLEASE. >> OKAY.

>> OH, PLEASE. >> OKAY. >> SO, DOG SHIT IS ZERO.

>> OKAY. >> SO, DOG SHIT IS ZERO. CHOCOLATE CAKE IS 10.

>> SO, DOG SHIT IS ZERO. CHOCOLATE CAKE IS 10. RATE THESE CHEESES.

CHOCOLATE CAKE IS 10. RATE THESE CHEESES. >> NO. THAT WON'T WORK.

RATE THESE CHEESES. >> NO. THAT WON'T WORK. >> WHY WON'T THAT WORK?

>> NO. THAT WON'T WORK. >> WHY WON'T THAT WORK? >> BECAUSE IF WE'RE GONNA

>> WHY WON'T THAT WORK? >> BECAUSE IF WE'RE GONNA INCLUDE ALL FOOD, WE'RE GONNA

>> BECAUSE IF WE'RE GONNA INCLUDE ALL FOOD, WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE NUMBERS, LIKE UP TO

INCLUDE ALL FOOD, WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE NUMBERS, LIKE UP TO 100.

NEED MORE NUMBERS, LIKE UP TO 100. >> O-OKAY, GREAT.

100. >> O-OKAY, GREAT. DOG SHIT IS ZERO.

>> O-OKAY, GREAT. DOG SHIT IS ZERO. CHOCOLATE CAKE IS 100.

DOG SHIT IS ZERO. CHOCOLATE CAKE IS 100. RATE THESE CHEESES.

CHOCOLATE CAKE IS 100. RATE THESE CHEESES. >> NO, THAT'S STILL TOO

RATE THESE CHEESES. >> NO, THAT'S STILL TOO CONFUSING.

>> NO, THAT'S STILL TOO CONFUSING. >> WHY?!

CONFUSING. >> WHY?! >> IT IS.

>> WHY?! >> IT IS. >> WHAT IS CONFUSING ABOUT IT?

>> IT IS. >> WHAT IS CONFUSING ABOUT IT? OH, MY GOD!

>> WHAT IS CONFUSING ABOUT IT? OH, MY GOD! >> LET'S JUST SAY THAT CHEESE IN

OH, MY GOD! >> LET'S JUST SAY THAT CHEESE IN GENERAL IS LIKE 90.

>> LET'S JUST SAY THAT CHEESE IN GENERAL IS LIKE 90. >> OKAY, I WOULD SAY, YEAH, LIKE

GENERAL IS LIKE 90. >> OKAY, I WOULD SAY, YEAH, LIKE 92, BUT WHATEVER.

>> OKAY, I WOULD SAY, YEAH, LIKE 92, BUT WHATEVER. OKAY.

92, BUT WHATEVER. OKAY. >> AND NOW LET'S RATE THESE

OKAY. >> AND NOW LET'S RATE THESE CHEESES FROM ZERO TO 10, 10

>> AND NOW LET'S RATE THESE CHEESES FROM ZERO TO 10, 10 BEING OUR FAVORITE AND ZERO OUR

CHEESES FROM ZERO TO 10, 10 BEING OUR FAVORITE AND ZERO OUR LEAST FAVORITE.

BEING OUR FAVORITE AND ZERO OUR LEAST FAVORITE. >> PERFECT.

LEAST FAVORITE. >> PERFECT. FIRST, I JUST NEED TO FUCK YOU

>> PERFECT. FIRST, I JUST NEED TO FUCK YOU AGAIN REAL QUICK, AND THEN WE

FIRST, I JUST NEED TO FUCK YOU AGAIN REAL QUICK, AND THEN WE CAN DO THAT, OKAY?

AGAIN REAL QUICK, AND THEN WE CAN DO THAT, OKAY? 'CAUSE YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY

CAN DO THAT, OKAY? 'CAUSE YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY RIGHT NOW.

'CAUSE YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY RIGHT NOW. >> NO, NOT NOW.

RIGHT NOW. >> NO, NOT NOW. >> COME ON.

>> NO, NOT NOW. >> COME ON. >> NOT NOW.

>> COME ON. >> NOT NOW. I'M NOT IN THE MOOD RIGHT NOW.

>> NOT NOW. I'M NOT IN THE MOOD RIGHT NOW. >> BABY, COME ON.

ALL RIGHT. [ COUGHS ] ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD. OKAY, RATE THEM.

ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD. OKAY, RATE THEM. ZERO TO 100 -- ZERO TO 10.

OKAY, RATE THEM. ZERO TO 100 -- ZERO TO 10. >> OH, THAT'S BORING.

ZERO TO 100 -- ZERO TO 10. >> OH, THAT'S BORING. >> COME ON. COME ON.

>> OH, THAT'S BORING. >> COME ON. COME ON. >> OKAY, I HAVE TO GO TO WORK

>> COME ON. COME ON. >> OKAY, I HAVE TO GO TO WORK NOW ANYWAY.

>> OKAY, I HAVE TO GO TO WORK NOW ANYWAY. >> YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL THIS

NOW ANYWAY. >> YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL THIS LATE?

>> YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL THIS LATE? >> YEAH, SOMETIMES SHE CAN'T

LATE? >> YEAH, SOMETIMES SHE CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, SO I-I SIT WITH

>> YEAH, SOMETIMES SHE CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, SO I-I SIT WITH HER.

SLEEP AT NIGHT, SO I-I SIT WITH HER. COME ON. I'M LATE.

HER. COME ON. I'M LATE. >> REALLY.

COME ON. I'M LATE. >> REALLY. DOES SHE EVER HAVE ANY -- I

>> REALLY. DOES SHE EVER HAVE ANY -- I MEAN, DO YOU EVER, LIKE, BRING

DOES SHE EVER HAVE ANY -- I MEAN, DO YOU EVER, LIKE, BRING ANYBODY ELSE TO VISIT HER

MEAN, DO YOU EVER, LIKE, BRING ANYBODY ELSE TO VISIT HER BESIDES YOU?

ANYBODY ELSE TO VISIT HER BESIDES YOU? >> NO. IT MIGHT UPSET HER.

BESIDES YOU? >> NO. IT MIGHT UPSET HER. YOU HAVE TO GO NOW.

>> NO. IT MIGHT UPSET HER. YOU HAVE TO GO NOW. I'M IN A HURRY.

YOU HAVE TO GO NOW. I'M IN A HURRY. >> OKAY, OKAY.

[ SIGHS ] WELL, I HAD A-AN AMAZING TIME. >> ME TOO.

>> UM, I GUESS I'LL -- I'LL CALL YOU LATER. >> IT'S -- IT'S NOT THIS DOOR.

YOU LATER. >> IT'S -- IT'S NOT THIS DOOR. IT'S -- IT'S THIS WAY.

>> IT'S -- IT'S NOT THIS DOOR. IT'S -- IT'S THIS WAY. >> I HOPE, UH -- I HOPE WORK

IT'S -- IT'S THIS WAY. >> I HOPE, UH -- I HOPE WORK ISN'T TOO...HARD.

GOOD NIGHT. >> BYE. [ DOOR CLOSES ]

>> BYE. [ DOOR CLOSES ] [ SIGHS ]

[ LAUGHING ]

>> DO YOU HAVE A HARD TIME GETTING CLOSE TO PEOPLE? >> TO PEOPLE?

GETTING CLOSE TO PEOPLE? >> TO PEOPLE? >> I DON'T KNOW, TO BOYS THAT

>> TO PEOPLE? >> I DON'T KNOW, TO BOYS THAT YOU LIKE WHO LIKE YOU.

>> I DON'T KNOW, TO BOYS THAT YOU LIKE WHO LIKE YOU. >> DO YOU BELIEVE IN HEAVEN?

YOU LIKE WHO LIKE YOU. >> DO YOU BELIEVE IN HEAVEN? >> [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY.

>> DO YOU BELIEVE IN HEAVEN? >> [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY. END OF THAT CONVERSATION.

>> [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY. END OF THAT CONVERSATION. >> OH, COME ON. IT'S BORING.

END OF THAT CONVERSATION. >> OH, COME ON. IT'S BORING. >> IT'S VERY SWEET, AND IT

>> OH, COME ON. IT'S BORING. >> IT'S VERY SWEET, AND IT ACTUALLY STRANGELY MAKES SENSE,

>> IT'S VERY SWEET, AND IT ACTUALLY STRANGELY MAKES SENSE, BUT -- AND YOU'RE VERY SMART.

ACTUALLY STRANGELY MAKES SENSE, BUT -- AND YOU'RE VERY SMART. YOU'RE NOT DUMB.

BUT -- AND YOU'RE VERY SMART. YOU'RE NOT DUMB. YOU'RE NOT AN IDIOT.

YOU'RE NOT DUMB. YOU'RE NOT AN IDIOT. THERE'S NO ONE --

YOU'RE NOT AN IDIOT. THERE'S NO ONE -- >> OKAY, OKAY. DON'T WORRY.

THERE'S NO ONE -- >> OKAY, OKAY. DON'T WORRY. I-I WON'T FREAK OUT. WHAT?

>> OKAY, OKAY. DON'T WORRY. I-I WON'T FREAK OUT. WHAT? >> WELL, YOU USE "BORING" WHEN

I-I WON'T FREAK OUT. WHAT? >> WELL, YOU USE "BORING" WHEN YOU DON'T REALLY MEAN TO USE

>> WELL, YOU USE "BORING" WHEN YOU DON'T REALLY MEAN TO USE THAT WORD.

YOU DON'T REALLY MEAN TO USE THAT WORD. >> REALLY?

THAT WORD. >> REALLY? >> YEAH, LIKE WHEN WE WERE GONNA

>> REALLY? >> YEAH, LIKE WHEN WE WERE GONNA HAVE THE CHEESE CONTEST, AND YOU

>> YEAH, LIKE WHEN WE WERE GONNA HAVE THE CHEESE CONTEST, AND YOU REALLY WANTED TO, AND THEN

HAVE THE CHEESE CONTEST, AND YOU REALLY WANTED TO, AND THEN SUDDENLY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO,

REALLY WANTED TO, AND THEN SUDDENLY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO, YOU SAID IT WAS BORING.

SUDDENLY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO, YOU SAID IT WAS BORING. AND THEN JUST NOW, WHEN I ASKED

YOU SAID IT WAS BORING. AND THEN JUST NOW, WHEN I ASKED YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION --

AND THEN JUST NOW, WHEN I ASKED YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION -- >> OKAY, OKAY.

YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION -- >> OKAY, OKAY. SO WHAT SHOULD I SAY?

>> OKAY, OKAY. SO WHAT SHOULD I SAY? WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

SO WHAT SHOULD I SAY? WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? >> WELL, HOPEFULLY, YOU WOULD

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? >> WELL, HOPEFULLY, YOU WOULD JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION.

>> WELL, HOPEFULLY, YOU WOULD JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION. BUT IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO ANSWER

JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION. BUT IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO ANSWER A QUESTION, YOU WOULD SAY

BUT IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO ANSWER A QUESTION, YOU WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, "I DON'T WANT TO

A QUESTION, YOU WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."

SOMETHING LIKE, "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT." >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT

TALK ABOUT IT." >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

>> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. DO YOU BELIEVE IN HEAVEN?

IT. DO YOU BELIEVE IN HEAVEN? >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT

DO YOU BELIEVE IN HEAVEN? >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

>> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. >> OH, COME ON.

IT. >> OH, COME ON. DON'T BE A BABY.

[ SIGHS ]

>> LIVING RIGHT THERE FOREVER. WE'D BE ANCIENT, LIKE 120 YEARS OLD, AND I'D BE SITTING UNDER

WE'D BE ANCIENT, LIKE 120 YEARS OLD, AND I'D BE SITTING UNDER THIS WILLOW TREE, WATCHING THE

OLD, AND I'D BE SITTING UNDER THIS WILLOW TREE, WATCHING THE TOURIST BOATS GO BY.

THIS WILLOW TREE, WATCHING THE TOURIST BOATS GO BY. >> MM-HMM.

TOURIST BOATS GO BY. >> MM-HMM. >> AND YOU WOULD YELL OVER,

>> MM-HMM. >> AND YOU WOULD YELL OVER, "HONEY, COME HOME FOR LUNCH.

>> AND YOU WOULD YELL OVER, "HONEY, COME HOME FOR LUNCH. I MADE VICHYSSOISE."

"HONEY, COME HOME FOR LUNCH. I MADE VICHYSSOISE." >> [ CHUCKLES ]

I MADE VICHYSSOISE." >> [ CHUCKLES ] >> [ SNIFFS ]

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> [ SNIFFS ] THAT WOULD BE HEAVEN TO ME.

>> [ SNIFFS ] THAT WOULD BE HEAVEN TO ME. >> YOU KNOW THE SOUP,

THAT WOULD BE HEAVEN TO ME. >> YOU KNOW THE SOUP, VICHYSSOISE?

>> YOU KNOW THE SOUP, VICHYSSOISE? >> OF COURSE.

VICHYSSOISE? >> OF COURSE. >> SAY IT AGAIN.

>> OF COURSE. >> SAY IT AGAIN. >> VICHYSSOISE.

>> SAY IT AGAIN. >> VICHYSSOISE. >> YOUR FRENCH IS GETTING VERY

>> VICHYSSOISE. >> YOUR FRENCH IS GETTING VERY GOOD.

>> YOUR FRENCH IS GETTING VERY GOOD. >> MERCI.

GOOD. >> MERCI. >> I MAKE A VERY GOOD

>> MERCI. >> I MAKE A VERY GOOD VICHYSSOISE.

>> I MAKE A VERY GOOD VICHYSSOISE. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO HOT

VICHYSSOISE. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO HOT AND COLD.

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO HOT AND COLD. I WON'T HURT YOU.

AND COLD. I WON'T HURT YOU. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO

I WON'T HURT YOU. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO IMPATIENT.

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO IMPATIENT. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO SLOW.

IMPATIENT. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO SLOW. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO LOUD.

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO SLOW. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO LOUD. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO LOUD. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO TRUCULENT.

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO TRUCULENT. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO

TRUCULENT. >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE SO SUPERIOR, USING WORDS YOU

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE SO SUPERIOR, USING WORDS YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW.

YOU LOOK VICTORIOUS. THAT CONCERNS ME. >> WILL YOU SHUT UP AND KISS ME

THAT CONCERNS ME. >> WILL YOU SHUT UP AND KISS ME ALREADY?

>> WILL YOU SHUT UP AND KISS ME ALREADY? WAIT. FRENCH-KISS ME.

ALREADY? WAIT. FRENCH-KISS ME. [ CHUCKLES ]

WAIT. FRENCH-KISS ME. [ CHUCKLES ] >> YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT.

>> UM, DOGGY STYLE. >> HATE. >> REALLY?

>> HATE. >> REALLY? >> MM.

>> REALLY? >> MM. >> MOST WOMEN LOVE DOGGY STYLE.

>> MM. >> MOST WOMEN LOVE DOGGY STYLE. >> YOU, DOGGY STYLE?

>> MOST WOMEN LOVE DOGGY STYLE. >> YOU, DOGGY STYLE? >> HATE.

>> YOU, DOGGY STYLE? >> HATE. >> REALLY?

>> HATE. >> REALLY? MOST MEN LOVE DOGGY STYLE.

>> REALLY? MOST MEN LOVE DOGGY STYLE. >> YEAH, NO, NO. I HATE IT.

MOST MEN LOVE DOGGY STYLE. >> YEAH, NO, NO. I HATE IT. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE --

>> YEAH, NO, NO. I HATE IT. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE -- >> MY BREASTS? YEAH.

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE -- >> MY BREASTS? YEAH. >> NO. YOUR FACE.

>> MY BREASTS? YEAH. >> NO. YOUR FACE. >> AH.

>> NO. YOUR FACE. >> AH. >> WELL, AND YOUR BREASTS, TOO.

>> AH. >> WELL, AND YOUR BREASTS, TOO. YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING.

>> WELL, AND YOUR BREASTS, TOO. YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING. >> A MAN FUCKING YOU.

YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING. >> A MAN FUCKING YOU. >> A MAN FUCKING ME?

>> A MAN FUCKING YOU. >> A MAN FUCKING ME? >> MM-HMM.

>> A MAN FUCKING ME? >> MM-HMM. >> OKAY, WE'RE PLAYING THE GAME

>> MM-HMM. >> OKAY, WE'RE PLAYING THE GAME NOW.

>> OKAY, WE'RE PLAYING THE GAME NOW. >> [ LAUGHS ]

NOW. >> [ LAUGHS ] >> UM...I'VE NEVER DONE IT.

>> [ LAUGHS ] >> UM...I'VE NEVER DONE IT. >> HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT

>> UM...I'VE NEVER DONE IT. >> HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT?

>> HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT? >> NO, I MEAN, I'VE HAD

IT? >> NO, I MEAN, I'VE HAD OCCASIONAL, WEIRD SEX DREAMS

>> NO, I MEAN, I'VE HAD OCCASIONAL, WEIRD SEX DREAMS ABOUT IT, AND, UM, I'VE DABBLED

OCCASIONAL, WEIRD SEX DREAMS ABOUT IT, AND, UM, I'VE DABBLED WITH GIRLS PRETENDING, BUT

ABOUT IT, AND, UM, I'VE DABBLED WITH GIRLS PRETENDING, BUT THAT'S IT.

WITH GIRLS PRETENDING, BUT THAT'S IT. >> PRETENDING WHAT?

THAT'S IT. >> PRETENDING WHAT? >> PRETENDING TO BE A MAN

>> PRETENDING WHAT? >> PRETENDING TO BE A MAN FUCKING ME, LIKE, YOU KNOW --

>> PRETENDING TO BE A MAN FUCKING ME, LIKE, YOU KNOW -- >> REALLY?

FUCKING ME, LIKE, YOU KNOW -- >> REALLY? >> YEAH.

>> REALLY? >> YEAH. LONG TIME AGO WITH MY -- WITH MY

>> YEAH. LONG TIME AGO WITH MY -- WITH MY LAST GIRLFRIEND.

LONG TIME AGO WITH MY -- WITH MY LAST GIRLFRIEND. SO YOU'RE NOT INTO BDSM NOW?

LAST GIRLFRIEND. SO YOU'RE NOT INTO BDSM NOW? >> NO.

SO YOU'RE NOT INTO BDSM NOW? >> NO. AND I WASN'T INTO IT THEN.

>> NO. AND I WASN'T INTO IT THEN. IT WAS JUST, YOU KNOW,

AND I WASN'T INTO IT THEN. IT WAS JUST, YOU KNOW, OCCASIONAL, NORMAL PLAYING

IT WAS JUST, YOU KNOW, OCCASIONAL, NORMAL PLAYING AROUND.

OCCASIONAL, NORMAL PLAYING AROUND. >> OH.

AROUND. >> OH. OH, GETTING FUCKED WITH A

>> OH. OH, GETTING FUCKED WITH A STRAP-ON IS OCCASIONAL, NORMAL

OH, GETTING FUCKED WITH A STRAP-ON IS OCCASIONAL, NORMAL PLAYING AROUND IN AMERICA?

STRAP-ON IS OCCASIONAL, NORMAL PLAYING AROUND IN AMERICA? >> NO. IT'S PROBABLY NOT NORMAL.

PLAYING AROUND IN AMERICA? >> NO. IT'S PROBABLY NOT NORMAL. BUT IT'S MORE NORMAL THAN IS

>> NO. IT'S PROBABLY NOT NORMAL. BUT IT'S MORE NORMAL THAN IS ADMITTED.

BUT IT'S MORE NORMAL THAN IS ADMITTED. I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

ADMITTED. I'LL TELL YOU THAT. >> SO, WHY HAVEN'T YOU TRIED IT

I'LL TELL YOU THAT. >> SO, WHY HAVEN'T YOU TRIED IT WITH A GUY?

>> SO, WHY HAVEN'T YOU TRIED IT WITH A GUY? >> 'CAUSE I'M NOT INTO MEN LIKE

WITH A GUY? >> 'CAUSE I'M NOT INTO MEN LIKE THAT.

>> 'CAUSE I'M NOT INTO MEN LIKE THAT. >> YOU KNOW, I MEAN, EVERYTHING

THAT. >> YOU KNOW, I MEAN, EVERYTHING THAT I LOVE ABOUT A WOMAN --

>> YOU KNOW, I MEAN, EVERYTHING THAT I LOVE ABOUT A WOMAN -- YOUR HANDS AND FEET AND...

THAT I LOVE ABOUT A WOMAN -- YOUR HANDS AND FEET AND... THE SOFTNESS OF YOUR SKIN,

YOUR HANDS AND FEET AND... THE SOFTNESS OF YOUR SKIN, KISSING -- THAT ALL DISGUSTS ME

THE SOFTNESS OF YOUR SKIN, KISSING -- THAT ALL DISGUSTS ME TO MEN.

KISSING -- THAT ALL DISGUSTS ME TO MEN. I WOULD -- THE MEN THING, IT'S

TO MEN. I WOULD -- THE MEN THING, IT'S MORE -- IT WAS MORE

I WOULD -- THE MEN THING, IT'S MORE -- IT WAS MORE PSYCHOLOGICAL.

MORE -- IT WAS MORE PSYCHOLOGICAL. IT'S MORE THE TABOO.

PSYCHOLOGICAL. IT'S MORE THE TABOO. IT'S BEING, YOU KNOW, DOMINATED,

IT'S MORE THE TABOO. IT'S BEING, YOU KNOW, DOMINATED, PUNISHED.

IT'S BEING, YOU KNOW, DOMINATED, PUNISHED. I MEAN, HAVING SAID THAT, YOU

PUNISHED. I MEAN, HAVING SAID THAT, YOU KNOW, AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE,

I MEAN, HAVING SAID THAT, YOU KNOW, AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE, I-I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE TRIED IT

KNOW, AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE, I-I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE TRIED IT ONCE IF I WEREN'T TERRIFIED OF

I-I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE TRIED IT ONCE IF I WEREN'T TERRIFIED OF H.I.V.

ONCE IF I WEREN'T TERRIFIED OF H.I.V. >> WELL, YOU HAVE SAFE SEX.

H.I.V. >> WELL, YOU HAVE SAFE SEX. >> NO. FORGET ABOUT IT.

>> WELL, YOU HAVE SAFE SEX. >> NO. FORGET ABOUT IT. I COULD WEAR THREE FUCKING

>> NO. FORGET ABOUT IT. I COULD WEAR THREE FUCKING RUBBERS.

I COULD WEAR THREE FUCKING RUBBERS. RUBBERS BREAK.

RUBBERS. RUBBERS BREAK. I-IT'S WAY TOO RISKY.

RUBBERS BREAK. I-IT'S WAY TOO RISKY. IT'S JUST I WOULD NEVER -- I

I-IT'S WAY TOO RISKY. IT'S JUST I WOULD NEVER -- I WOULD NEVER DO IT.

IT'S JUST I WOULD NEVER -- I WOULD NEVER DO IT. >> YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE USING

WOULD NEVER DO IT. >> YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE?

>> YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE? >> BECAUSE I'M AFRAID TO ADMIT

THAT AS AN EXCUSE? >> BECAUSE I'M AFRAID TO ADMIT THAT I'M GAY?

>> BECAUSE I'M AFRAID TO ADMIT THAT I'M GAY? >> MM.

THAT I'M GAY? >> MM. >> OKAY, I WOULD LOVE TO

>> MM. >> OKAY, I WOULD LOVE TO SKY-DIVE, BUT I'M SHIT-SCARED TO

>> OKAY, I WOULD LOVE TO SKY-DIVE, BUT I'M SHIT-SCARED TO JUMP OUT OF A PLANE AND HEIGHTS,

SKY-DIVE, BUT I'M SHIT-SCARED TO JUMP OUT OF A PLANE AND HEIGHTS, SO I'LL NEVER DO THAT.

JUMP OUT OF A PLANE AND HEIGHTS, SO I'LL NEVER DO THAT. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME SOMEONE

SO I'LL NEVER DO THAT. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME SOMEONE WHO'S AFRAID TO ADMIT THAT I'M A

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME SOMEONE WHO'S AFRAID TO ADMIT THAT I'M A CLOSET SKYDIVER.

WHO'S AFRAID TO ADMIT THAT I'M A CLOSET SKYDIVER. >> BUT YOU DON'T JERK OFF

CLOSET SKYDIVER. >> BUT YOU DON'T JERK OFF THINKING ABOUT SKYDIVING.

>> BUT YOU DON'T JERK OFF THINKING ABOUT SKYDIVING. >> [ SCOFFS ] I DON'T JERK OFF

THINKING ABOUT SKYDIVING. >> [ SCOFFS ] I DON'T JERK OFF THINKING ABOUT FUCKING GUYS

>> [ SCOFFS ] I DON'T JERK OFF THINKING ABOUT FUCKING GUYS EITHER.

THINKING ABOUT FUCKING GUYS EITHER. >> SO WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS

EITHER. >> SO WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS, YOU

>> SO WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS, YOU WEREN'T TURNED ON?

FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS, YOU WEREN'T TURNED ON? >> OKAY, YOU'RE GETTING

WEREN'T TURNED ON? >> OKAY, YOU'RE GETTING OFF-TRACK.

>> OKAY, YOU'RE GETTING OFF-TRACK. >> [ LAUGHS ]

OFF-TRACK. >> [ LAUGHS ] >> IN THIS GAME, YOU JUST ASK

>> [ LAUGHS ] >> IN THIS GAME, YOU JUST ASK QUESTIONS THAT CAN BE ANSWERED

>> IN THIS GAME, YOU JUST ASK QUESTIONS THAT CAN BE ANSWERED WITH "HATE," "LOVE," OR "LIKE."

QUESTIONS THAT CAN BE ANSWERED WITH "HATE," "LOVE," OR "LIKE." >> WELL, I LIKE THIS NEW GAME

WITH "HATE," "LOVE," OR "LIKE." >> WELL, I LIKE THIS NEW GAME BETTER.

>> WELL, I LIKE THIS NEW GAME BETTER. >> OKAY, GOOD.

BETTER. >> OKAY, GOOD. WELL, YOU CAN PLAY IT LATER

>> OKAY, GOOD. WELL, YOU CAN PLAY IT LATER AFTER I LEAVE.

WELL, YOU CAN PLAY IT LATER AFTER I LEAVE. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

AFTER I LEAVE. >> [ CHUCKLES ] >> SO, UM, HOW ABOUT ANY, UM,

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> SO, UM, HOW ABOUT ANY, UM, BDSM FOR YOU?

>> SO, UM, HOW ABOUT ANY, UM, BDSM FOR YOU? >> HATE.

BDSM FOR YOU? >> HATE. >> REALLY?

>> HATE. >> REALLY? >> YEAH.

>> REALLY? >> YEAH. MAYBE I'M TRADITIONAL, BUT I

>> YEAH. MAYBE I'M TRADITIONAL, BUT I THINK IT'S WEIRD.

MAYBE I'M TRADITIONAL, BUT I THINK IT'S WEIRD. >> SO DO YOU THINK I'M WEIRD FOR

THINK IT'S WEIRD. >> SO DO YOU THINK I'M WEIRD FOR HAVING EXPERIMENTED WITH IT?

>> SO DO YOU THINK I'M WEIRD FOR HAVING EXPERIMENTED WITH IT? >> NO, YOU'VE TRIED IT IN YOUR

HAVING EXPERIMENTED WITH IT? >> NO, YOU'VE TRIED IT IN YOUR PAST, YOU SAID, AND -- AND NOW

>> NO, YOU'VE TRIED IT IN YOUR PAST, YOU SAID, AND -- AND NOW YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN IT

PAST, YOU SAID, AND -- AND NOW YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN IT ANYMORE, SO THAT'S FINE.

YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN IT ANYMORE, SO THAT'S FINE. >> YEAH, BUT DO YOU THINK --

ANYMORE, SO THAT'S FINE. >> YEAH, BUT DO YOU THINK -- >> I JUST THINK THAT MEN SHOULD

>> YEAH, BUT DO YOU THINK -- >> I JUST THINK THAT MEN SHOULD BE REAL MEN.

>> I JUST THINK THAT MEN SHOULD BE REAL MEN. >> REALLY?

BE REAL MEN. >> REALLY? SO DO "REAL MEN" ONLY HAVE

>> REALLY? SO DO "REAL MEN" ONLY HAVE VANILLA SEX?

SO DO "REAL MEN" ONLY HAVE VANILLA SEX? >> NO, NO.

VANILLA SEX? >> NO, NO. >> CAN REAL MEN FANTASIZE ABOUT

>> NO, NO. >> CAN REAL MEN FANTASIZE ABOUT LESS-THAN-TRADITIONAL SEXUAL

>> CAN REAL MEN FANTASIZE ABOUT LESS-THAN-TRADITIONAL SEXUAL BEHAVIORS?

LESS-THAN-TRADITIONAL SEXUAL BEHAVIORS? >> YES, AS LONG AS THEY DON'T

BEHAVIORS? >> YES, AS LONG AS THEY DON'T FANTASIZE ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.

>> YES, AS LONG AS THEY DON'T FANTASIZE ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME. >> [ SCOFFS ]

FANTASIZE ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME. >> [ SCOFFS ] OKAY, SO HOW MANY TIMES CAN A

>> [ SCOFFS ] OKAY, SO HOW MANY TIMES CAN A MAN FANTASIZE ABOUT

OKAY, SO HOW MANY TIMES CAN A MAN FANTASIZE ABOUT NONTRADITIONAL SEXUAL BEHAVIORS

MAN FANTASIZE ABOUT NONTRADITIONAL SEXUAL BEHAVIORS UNTIL THEY'RE NOT A REAL MAN?

NONTRADITIONAL SEXUAL BEHAVIORS UNTIL THEY'RE NOT A REAL MAN? LIKE 5 TIMES OR 12 TIMES OR --

UNTIL THEY'RE NOT A REAL MAN? LIKE 5 TIMES OR 12 TIMES OR -- >> I CAN'T TRUST A GUY WHO

LIKE 5 TIMES OR 12 TIMES OR -- >> I CAN'T TRUST A GUY WHO FANTASIZES ABOUT THINGS I CAN'T

>> I CAN'T TRUST A GUY WHO FANTASIZES ABOUT THINGS I CAN'T GIVE HIM.

FANTASIZES ABOUT THINGS I CAN'T GIVE HIM. THEY'RE FANTASIZING ABOUT WOMEN,

GIVE HIM. THEY'RE FANTASIZING ABOUT WOMEN, OKAY, I GET IT.

THEY'RE FANTASIZING ABOUT WOMEN, OKAY, I GET IT. BUT IF A GUY FANTASIZES ABOUT

OKAY, I GET IT. BUT IF A GUY FANTASIZES ABOUT HAVING A DICK IN HIS ASS, FAKE

BUT IF A GUY FANTASIZES ABOUT HAVING A DICK IN HIS ASS, FAKE OR NOT, I'M GONNA THINK HE'S

HAVING A DICK IN HIS ASS, FAKE OR NOT, I'M GONNA THINK HE'S GONNA WANT TO DO IT, EVENTUALLY.

OR NOT, I'M GONNA THINK HE'S GONNA WANT TO DO IT, EVENTUALLY. YOU KNOW, IT...

GONNA WANT TO DO IT, EVENTUALLY. YOU KNOW, IT... IT FEELS LIKE HE'S LYING TO

YOU KNOW, IT... IT FEELS LIKE HE'S LYING TO HIMSELF.

IT FEELS LIKE HE'S LYING TO HIMSELF. SO IT'S FINE FOR WHOEVER.

HIMSELF. SO IT'S FINE FOR WHOEVER. NOT MY BOYFRIEND.

SO IT'S FINE FOR WHOEVER. NOT MY BOYFRIEND. LOOK, I...

NOT MY BOYFRIEND. LOOK, I... I JUST -- I JUST THINK THAT

LOOK, I... I JUST -- I JUST THINK THAT MIXING PSYCHOLOGY AND SEX IS

I JUST -- I JUST THINK THAT MIXING PSYCHOLOGY AND SEX IS PERVERSE.

MIXING PSYCHOLOGY AND SEX IS PERVERSE. YOU KNOW, SORT THIS THING OUT

PERVERSE. YOU KNOW, SORT THIS THING OUT WITH YOUR SHRINK...

YOU KNOW, SORT THIS THING OUT WITH YOUR SHRINK... >> [ CHUCKLES ]

WITH YOUR SHRINK... >> [ CHUCKLES ] >> ...NOT IN THE BEDROOM.

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> ...NOT IN THE BEDROOM. >> OKAY, LISTEN.

>> ...NOT IN THE BEDROOM. >> OKAY, LISTEN. I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU

>> OKAY, LISTEN. I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING FOR REAL THOUGH.

I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING FOR REAL THOUGH. >> MNH-MNH.

SOMETHING FOR REAL THOUGH. >> MNH-MNH. >> ALL JOKING ASIDE.

>> MNH-MNH. >> ALL JOKING ASIDE. >> NO. NO MORE TALKING NOW.

>> ALL JOKING ASIDE. >> NO. NO MORE TALKING NOW. >> NO, COME ON.

>> NO. NO MORE TALKING NOW. >> NO, COME ON. IT'S IMPORTANT. IT'S IMPORTANT.

>> NO, COME ON. IT'S IMPORTANT. IT'S IMPORTANT. JUST ONE LAST THING.

IT'S IMPORTANT. IT'S IMPORTANT. JUST ONE LAST THING. >> HMM?

JUST ONE LAST THING. >> HMM? >> DO YOU NOT LIKE GOING DOWN ON

>> HMM? >> DO YOU NOT LIKE GOING DOWN ON A MAN?

>> DO YOU NOT LIKE GOING DOWN ON A MAN? >> IF I LIKE THE GUY, SURE I DO.

A MAN? >> IF I LIKE THE GUY, SURE I DO. >> DO YOU LIKE ME?

>> IF I LIKE THE GUY, SURE I DO. >> DO YOU LIKE ME? >> I LIKE YOU.

>> DO YOU LIKE ME? >> I LIKE YOU. >> BECAUSE I-I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE

>> I LIKE YOU. >> BECAUSE I-I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE TURNED ON WHEN WE HAVE SEX, LIKE

>> BECAUSE I-I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE TURNED ON WHEN WE HAVE SEX, LIKE YOU ENJOY OUR SEX.

TURNED ON WHEN WE HAVE SEX, LIKE YOU ENJOY OUR SEX. >> MM-HMM.

YOU ENJOY OUR SEX. >> MM-HMM. >> YEAH. OKAY.

>> MM-HMM. >> YEAH. OKAY. >> BUT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED

>> YEAH. OKAY. >> BUT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED MY DICK ONCE.

>> BUT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED MY DICK ONCE. >> YES, I HAVE.

MY DICK ONCE. >> YES, I HAVE. >> NO, YOU HAVEN'T.

>> YES, I HAVE. >> NO, YOU HAVEN'T. I MEAN, FORGET GOING DOWN ON ME.

>> NO, YOU HAVEN'T. I MEAN, FORGET GOING DOWN ON ME. YOU HAVEN'T EVEN -- YOU HAVEN'T

I MEAN, FORGET GOING DOWN ON ME. YOU HAVEN'T EVEN -- YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED IT.

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN -- YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED IT. AND SO IT JUST MADE ME WONDER,

EVEN TOUCHED IT. AND SO IT JUST MADE ME WONDER, LIKE, DO YOU NOT LIKE DOING THAT

AND SO IT JUST MADE ME WONDER, LIKE, DO YOU NOT LIKE DOING THAT ON ANY MAN, OR IS IT JUST

LIKE, DO YOU NOT LIKE DOING THAT ON ANY MAN, OR IS IT JUST SPECIFICALLY ME OR THAT YOU

ON ANY MAN, OR IS IT JUST SPECIFICALLY ME OR THAT YOU DON'T...

SPECIFICALLY ME OR THAT YOU DON'T... MY BODY DISGUSTS YOU?

DON'T... MY BODY DISGUSTS YOU? IT SORT OF MAKES ME FEEL LIKE --

MY BODY DISGUSTS YOU? IT SORT OF MAKES ME FEEL LIKE -- I DON'T KNOW, DO YOU NOT LIKE MY

IT SORT OF MAKES ME FEEL LIKE -- I DON'T KNOW, DO YOU NOT LIKE MY BODY OR...

I DON'T KNOW, DO YOU NOT LIKE MY BODY OR... >> LET ME -- LET ME PUT IT THIS

BODY OR... >> LET ME -- LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.

>> LET ME -- LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY. IF YOU WERE 10 POUNDS THINNER,

WAY. IF YOU WERE 10 POUNDS THINNER, I WOULD HAVE BLOWN YOU BY NOW.

MICHAEL... MICHAEL, MICHAEL...

MICHAEL...

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ] MICHAEL... I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

>> THAT WAS THE MEANEST THING THAT ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME. >> I'M SORRY.

THAT ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME. >> I'M SORRY. IT DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT.

>> I'M SORRY. IT DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT. >> HOW IS IT SUPPOSED TO COME

IT DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT. >> HOW IS IT SUPPOSED TO COME OUT?

>> HOW IS IT SUPPOSED TO COME OUT? >> I READ YOUR BOOK.

I, UH... I WENT AND GOT IT AND READ IT. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I WENT AND GOT IT AND READ IT. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. YOU'RE SO GOOD AT REVEALING

IT'S BEAUTIFUL. YOU'RE SO GOOD AT REVEALING YOURSELF.

YOU'RE SO GOOD AT REVEALING YOURSELF. MOST OF US ARE NOT LIKE THAT.

YOURSELF. MOST OF US ARE NOT LIKE THAT. WE HAVE SECRETS, THINGS WE'RE

MOST OF US ARE NOT LIKE THAT. WE HAVE SECRETS, THINGS WE'RE ASHAMED OF, SCARED TO -- SCARED

WE HAVE SECRETS, THINGS WE'RE ASHAMED OF, SCARED TO -- SCARED TO ADMIT TO OURSELVES, LET ALONE

ASHAMED OF, SCARED TO -- SCARED TO ADMIT TO OURSELVES, LET ALONE SOMEONE ELSE.

TO ADMIT TO OURSELVES, LET ALONE SOMEONE ELSE. YOU HAVE NO FEAR.

SOMEONE ELSE. YOU HAVE NO FEAR. YOU ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE, AND -- I

YOU HAVE NO FEAR. YOU ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE, AND -- I DON'T KNOW -- YOU EVEN REJOICE

YOU ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE, AND -- I DON'T KNOW -- YOU EVEN REJOICE IN IT.

DON'T KNOW -- YOU EVEN REJOICE IN IT. >> I HAVE MANY FLAWS.

IN IT. >> I HAVE MANY FLAWS. >> LET ME FINISH.

THAT SCARES MOST PEOPLE ABOUT YOU. >> I TOLD YOU THAT I WILL NEVER

YOU. >> I TOLD YOU THAT I WILL NEVER HURT YOU.

>> I TOLD YOU THAT I WILL NEVER HURT YOU. >> YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

HURT YOU. >> YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. YOU MIGHT.

>> YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. YOU MIGHT. BUT WHAT I -- WHAT I LOVED ABOUT

YOU MIGHT. BUT WHAT I -- WHAT I LOVED ABOUT YOUR BOOK IS THAT EVEN THOUGH

BUT WHAT I -- WHAT I LOVED ABOUT YOUR BOOK IS THAT EVEN THOUGH SHE LEAVES YOU IN THE END AND --

YOUR BOOK IS THAT EVEN THOUGH SHE LEAVES YOU IN THE END AND -- AND YOU'RE HEARTBROKEN...

SHE LEAVES YOU IN THE END AND -- AND YOU'RE HEARTBROKEN... YOU'RE HERE.

AND YOU'RE HEARTBROKEN... YOU'RE HERE. AND THAT'S VERY BRAVE.

YOU'RE HERE. AND THAT'S VERY BRAVE. AND I WANT TO BE THAT BRAVE.

AND THAT'S VERY BRAVE. AND I WANT TO BE THAT BRAVE. I'VE NEVER LET MYSELF LOVE

AND I WANT TO BE THAT BRAVE. I'VE NEVER LET MYSELF LOVE ANYONE BEFORE.

I'VE NEVER LET MYSELF LOVE ANYONE BEFORE. NEVER.

ANYONE BEFORE. NEVER. >> NEVER?

NEVER. >> NEVER? NEVER IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE?

>> BUT I-I-I WANT TO TRY WITH YOU.

[ CHUCKLES ] >> [ SIGHS ] >> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

>> [ SIGHS ] >> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? IF I WAS TO GIVE YOU THE BEST

>> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? IF I WAS TO GIVE YOU THE BEST BLOWJOB YOU'VE EVER HAD IN YOUR

IF I WAS TO GIVE YOU THE BEST BLOWJOB YOU'VE EVER HAD IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE RIGHT NOW, WOULD YOU

BLOWJOB YOU'VE EVER HAD IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE RIGHT NOW, WOULD YOU THINK I WAS DOING IT TO MAKE YOU

ENTIRE LIFE RIGHT NOW, WOULD YOU THINK I WAS DOING IT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER OR BECAUSE I REALLY

THINK I WAS DOING IT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER OR BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO?

FEEL BETTER OR BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO? AND EITHER WAY, WOULD YOU CARE?

>> [ INHALES SHARPLY ] HONESTLY, AT THIS POINT... EITHER WAY, I WOULDN'T CARE.

>> BUT JUST FOR THE RECORD, I REALLY WANT TO.

>> EVERYTHING COOL? >> YEAH. >> IS IT STILL OKAY THAT I COME

>> YEAH. >> IS IT STILL OKAY THAT I COME IN WITH YOU?

>> IS IT STILL OKAY THAT I COME IN WITH YOU? >> YOU HAVE TO COME.

IN WITH YOU? >> YOU HAVE TO COME. SHE REQUESTED AN AUDIENCE WITH

>> YOU HAVE TO COME. SHE REQUESTED AN AUDIENCE WITH YOU.

SHE REQUESTED AN AUDIENCE WITH YOU. >> SHE DID?

YOU. >> SHE DID? >> MM-HMM.

>> SHE DID? >> MM-HMM. COME ON.

>> MM-HMM. COME ON. [ SPEAKS FRENCH ]

COME ON. [ SPEAKS FRENCH ] ANAIS, MICHAEL.

[ SPEAKS FRENCH ] ANAIS, MICHAEL. >> BONJOUR.

ANAIS, MICHAEL. >> BONJOUR. I'M SORRY.

>> BONJOUR. I'M SORRY. THAT'S THE ONLY FRENCH I KNOW.

I'M SORRY. THAT'S THE ONLY FRENCH I KNOW. >> THAT'S OKAY.

THAT'S THE ONLY FRENCH I KNOW. >> THAT'S OKAY. I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH.

>> THAT'S OKAY. I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH. >> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH. >> [ CLEARS THROAT ] ANAIS -- THAT'S A -- THAT'S A

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ] ANAIS -- THAT'S A -- THAT'S A REALLY PRETTY NAME.

ANAIS -- THAT'S A -- THAT'S A REALLY PRETTY NAME. IS IT AFTER ANAIS NIN?

REALLY PRETTY NAME. IS IT AFTER ANAIS NIN? >> SHE'S MY FAVORITE WRITER.

IS IT AFTER ANAIS NIN? >> SHE'S MY FAVORITE WRITER. >> REALLY?

>> SHE'S MY FAVORITE WRITER. >> REALLY? >> YEAH.

>> REALLY? >> YEAH. >> WOW. THAT'S A COOL TOP HAT.

>> YEAH. >> WOW. THAT'S A COOL TOP HAT. WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

>> WOW. THAT'S A COOL TOP HAT. WHERE'D YOU GET THAT? >> SHE GAVE IT TO ME.

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT? >> SHE GAVE IT TO ME. >> SHE DID?

>> SHE GAVE IT TO ME. >> SHE DID? >> AND I'M WAITING ON A TUXEDO

>> SHE DID? >> AND I'M WAITING ON A TUXEDO TO GO WITH IT SO I CAN HAVE A

>> AND I'M WAITING ON A TUXEDO TO GO WITH IT SO I CAN HAVE A PROPER DANCE.

TO GO WITH IT SO I CAN HAVE A PROPER DANCE. >> REALLY?

PROPER DANCE. >> REALLY? HAVE YOU, UH, GOT IN TOUCH WITH

>> REALLY? HAVE YOU, UH, GOT IN TOUCH WITH SANTA?

HAVE YOU, UH, GOT IN TOUCH WITH SANTA? >> COOL.

SANTA? >> COOL. >> 'CAUSE HE'S, LIKE, MAKING

>> COOL. >> 'CAUSE HE'S, LIKE, MAKING SOME ROUNDS TOMORROW.

>> 'CAUSE HE'S, LIKE, MAKING SOME ROUNDS TOMORROW. MAYBE HE COULD BRING ONE BY.

SOME ROUNDS TOMORROW. MAYBE HE COULD BRING ONE BY. >> [ LAUGHS ]

MAYBE HE COULD BRING ONE BY. >> [ LAUGHS ] >> NO!

>> [ LAUGHS ] >> NO! >> YOU WANT TO KILL ME BEFORE I

>> NO! >> YOU WANT TO KILL ME BEFORE I GET MY DANCE?

>> YOU WANT TO KILL ME BEFORE I GET MY DANCE? >> IT'S VERY BAD LUCK TO PUT A

GET MY DANCE? >> IT'S VERY BAD LUCK TO PUT A HAT ON A BED.

>> IT'S VERY BAD LUCK TO PUT A HAT ON A BED. >> IN FRANCE?

HAT ON A BED. >> IN FRANCE? >> MM-HMM.

>> IN FRANCE? >> MM-HMM. >> OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY.

>> MM-HMM. >> OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY. WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT

>> OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY. WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN AMERICA.

WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN AMERICA. YOU CAN PUT HATS ANYWHERE.

IN AMERICA. YOU CAN PUT HATS ANYWHERE. OH, GOD, I'M SO SORRY.

YOU CAN PUT HATS ANYWHERE. OH, GOD, I'M SO SORRY. FORGIVE ME.

OH, GOD, I'M SO SORRY. FORGIVE ME. >> IT'S OKAY.

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> THAT'S ENOUGH OF YOUR SECRET GIRL TALK, PLEASE.

>> THAT'S ENOUGH OF YOUR SECRET GIRL TALK, PLEASE. SPEAK IN AMERICAN.

GIRL TALK, PLEASE. SPEAK IN AMERICAN. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

SPEAK IN AMERICAN. >> [ CHUCKLES ] TALK -- TRèS BIEN, TRèS BIEN.

>> [ CHUCKLES ] TALK -- TRèS BIEN, TRèS BIEN. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

TALK -- TRèS BIEN, TRèS BIEN. >> [ CHUCKLES ] >> I KNOW FRENCH.

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> I KNOW FRENCH. I KNOW FRENCH. TRèS BIEN.

>> I KNOW FRENCH. I KNOW FRENCH. TRèS BIEN. >> MONSIEUR FRANçAIS.

I KNOW FRENCH. TRèS BIEN. >> MONSIEUR FRANçAIS. [ LAUGHS ]

>> IT'S UNSPEAKABLY HEARTBREAKING SOMETIMES, THIS LIFE.

HEARTBREAKING SOMETIMES, THIS LIFE. >> BUT UNSPEAKABLY MAGNIFICENT

LIFE. >> BUT UNSPEAKABLY MAGNIFICENT SOMETIMES, TOO.

>> BUT UNSPEAKABLY MAGNIFICENT SOMETIMES, TOO. >> I'LL CALL YOU LATER?

SOMETIMES, TOO. >> I'LL CALL YOU LATER? >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> I'LL CALL YOU LATER? >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> WELL, I JUST ASSUMED YOU'D

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> WELL, I JUST ASSUMED YOU'D WANT SOME SPACE.

>> WELL, I JUST ASSUMED YOU'D WANT SOME SPACE. >> I DON'T WANT SPACE.

WANT SOME SPACE. >> I DON'T WANT SPACE. I WANT TO GO FAST NOW.

>> I DON'T WANT SPACE. I WANT TO GO FAST NOW. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE TIME

I WANT TO GO FAST NOW. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE TIME ANYMORE.

I DON'T WANT TO WASTE TIME ANYMORE. HMM?

ANYMORE. HMM? >> DOES IT WANT TO DANCE?

HMM? >> DOES IT WANT TO DANCE? >> [ LAUGHS ]

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

>> THIS TOWN'S INCREDIBLE.

>> WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? >> THAT BECAUSE THE LAST THING ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH THAT I

>> THAT BECAUSE THE LAST THING ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH THAT I WANT TO DO IS TWEET OR UPDATE MY

ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH THAT I WANT TO DO IS TWEET OR UPDATE MY FACEBOOK STATUS, THAT THE SOUL

WANT TO DO IS TWEET OR UPDATE MY FACEBOOK STATUS, THAT THE SOUL OF YOUTH WILL VOMIT ME INTO THE

FACEBOOK STATUS, THAT THE SOUL OF YOUTH WILL VOMIT ME INTO THE CESSPOOL OF THE OLD AND THE

OF YOUTH WILL VOMIT ME INTO THE CESSPOOL OF THE OLD AND THE WORTHLESS.

CESSPOOL OF THE OLD AND THE WORTHLESS. >> COME ON. SERIOUSLY.

WORTHLESS. >> COME ON. SERIOUSLY. >> SERIOUSLY?

>> COME ON. SERIOUSLY. >> SERIOUSLY? YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST?

>> SERIOUSLY? YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST? >> MM-HMM.

YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST? >> MM-HMM. >> [ SIGHS ]

>> MM-HMM. >> [ SIGHS ] I'M AFRAID THAT BECAUSE IT'S

>> [ SIGHS ] I'M AFRAID THAT BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN IN

I'M AFRAID THAT BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN IN LOVE THAT I'LL BE SO EXCITED, I

BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN IN LOVE THAT I'LL BE SO EXCITED, I WON'T SEE THAT I'VE FALLEN IN

LOVE THAT I'LL BE SO EXCITED, I WON'T SEE THAT I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO MIGHT

WON'T SEE THAT I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BETRAY ME.

LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BETRAY ME. >> BETRAY YOU HOW?

BETRAY ME. >> BETRAY YOU HOW? >> FUCK AROUND ON ME, CHEAT ON

>> BETRAY YOU HOW? >> FUCK AROUND ON ME, CHEAT ON ME.

>> FUCK AROUND ON ME, CHEAT ON ME. I COULDN'T HANDLE THAT.

ME. I COULDN'T HANDLE THAT. >> FREUD SAID OUR FEARS ARE OUR

I COULDN'T HANDLE THAT. >> FREUD SAID OUR FEARS ARE OUR WISHES.

>> FREUD SAID OUR FEARS ARE OUR WISHES. SO MAYBE YOU'LL BE THE ONE WHO

WISHES. SO MAYBE YOU'LL BE THE ONE WHO WILL BE THE BETRAYER.

SO MAYBE YOU'LL BE THE ONE WHO WILL BE THE BETRAYER. >> NO. I DON'T LIE.

WILL BE THE BETRAYER. >> NO. I DON'T LIE. I TOLD YOU THAT.

>> NO. I DON'T LIE. I TOLD YOU THAT. >> ANYTHING ELSE?

I TOLD YOU THAT. >> ANYTHING ELSE? >> NOT AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD.

>> ANYTHING ELSE? >> NOT AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

>> NOT AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? >> YOU'LL SEE.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? >> YOU'LL SEE. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

[ BIRDS SQUAWKING ]

>> BONJOUR. [ MOZART'S "EINE KLEIN NACHTMUSIK" PLAYS ]

>> ARE YOU STAYING THE NIGHT?

>> UH, WE'D LOVE TO. THANK YOU. >> OKAY.

>> IS SHE OKAY? >> YEAH. JUST TUCKED HER IN.

MM.

>> HOW LONG HAS YOUR MOM BEEN LIKE THAT? >> SINCE I WAS 13.

LIKE THAT? >> SINCE I WAS 13. THAT'S WHEN MY DAD GAVE HER THE

>> SINCE I WAS 13. THAT'S WHEN MY DAD GAVE HER THE WORST BEATING.

THAT'S WHEN MY DAD GAVE HER THE WORST BEATING. SHE'S BEEN LIKE THAT EVER SINCE.

WORST BEATING. SHE'S BEEN LIKE THAT EVER SINCE. >> DID HE EVER HIT YOU?

SHE'S BEEN LIKE THAT EVER SINCE. >> DID HE EVER HIT YOU? >> NO.

>> DID HE EVER HIT YOU? >> NO. HE ADORED ME.

>> NO. HE ADORED ME. ONE DAY, YOU'RE DADDY'S LITTLE

HE ADORED ME. ONE DAY, YOU'RE DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL, AND...

ONE DAY, YOU'RE DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL, AND... AND THE NEXT DAY, YOU NEVER HEAR

GIRL, AND... AND THE NEXT DAY, YOU NEVER HEAR FROM THE GUY FOR THE REST OF

AND THE NEXT DAY, YOU NEVER HEAR FROM THE GUY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

FROM THE GUY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. SHE SPENT SIX MONTHS IN A

YOUR LIFE. SHE SPENT SIX MONTHS IN A HOSPITAL.

SHE SPENT SIX MONTHS IN A HOSPITAL. >> I STAYED WITH MY AUNT.

HOSPITAL. >> I STAYED WITH MY AUNT. AND I TRIED TO LIVE WITH HER

>> I STAYED WITH MY AUNT. AND I TRIED TO LIVE WITH HER WHEN SHE CAME OUT, BUT, UM...

AND I TRIED TO LIVE WITH HER WHEN SHE CAME OUT, BUT, UM... SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS...

WHEN SHE CAME OUT, BUT, UM... SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS... SO SHE WAS SCARED TO HAVE ME IN

SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS... SO SHE WAS SCARED TO HAVE ME IN THE HOUSE WITH HER.

SO SHE WAS SCARED TO HAVE ME IN THE HOUSE WITH HER. >> HAS SHE EVER KNOWN WHO YOU

THE HOUSE WITH HER. >> HAS SHE EVER KNOWN WHO YOU ARE SINCE THAT HAPPENED?

>> HAS SHE EVER KNOWN WHO YOU ARE SINCE THAT HAPPENED? >> NO.

ARE SINCE THAT HAPPENED? >> NO. IF SHE DOES, SHE DOESN'T ADMIT

>> NO. IF SHE DOES, SHE DOESN'T ADMIT IT TO HERSELF.

IF SHE DOES, SHE DOESN'T ADMIT IT TO HERSELF. I THINK IT WOULD BRING HER WHOLE

IT TO HERSELF. I THINK IT WOULD BRING HER WHOLE LIFE BACK, YOU KNOW?

IT'S LIKE I'M HERE EVERY WEEK, AND EVERY WEEK, IT'S THE SAME DANCE.

AND EVERY WEEK, IT'S THE SAME DANCE. "WHERE DO I KNOW YOU FROM?"

DANCE. "WHERE DO I KNOW YOU FROM?" >> [ CHUCKLES ]

I'M SO SORRY. >> IT'S OKAY. YOU KNOW, I STILL HAVE HER IN A

>> IT'S OKAY. YOU KNOW, I STILL HAVE HER IN A WAY.

YOU KNOW, I STILL HAVE HER IN A WAY. MOST PEOPLE -- YOU KNOW, MANY

WAY. MOST PEOPLE -- YOU KNOW, MANY PEOPLE DON'T HAVE THEIR MOTHERS.

MOST PEOPLE -- YOU KNOW, MANY PEOPLE DON'T HAVE THEIR MOTHERS. I'M GRATEFUL. [ CHUCKLES ]

PEOPLE DON'T HAVE THEIR MOTHERS. I'M GRATEFUL. [ CHUCKLES ] >> YOU THINK PEOPLE FIND EACH

I'M GRATEFUL. [ CHUCKLES ] >> YOU THINK PEOPLE FIND EACH OTHER, LIKE WATER SEEKS ITS OWN

>> YOU THINK PEOPLE FIND EACH OTHER, LIKE WATER SEEKS ITS OWN LEVEL?

OTHER, LIKE WATER SEEKS ITS OWN LEVEL? YOU GOT A SAYING IN FRENCH?

LEVEL? YOU GOT A SAYING IN FRENCH? >> NO.

YOU GOT A SAYING IN FRENCH? >> NO. >> DO YOU THINK THAT BROKEN

>> NO. >> DO YOU THINK THAT BROKEN PEOPLE FIND OTHER PEOPLE WHO

>> DO YOU THINK THAT BROKEN PEOPLE FIND OTHER PEOPLE WHO THEY THINK ARE GONNA HELP GIVE

PEOPLE FIND OTHER PEOPLE WHO THEY THINK ARE GONNA HELP GIVE THEM WHAT THEY DON'T HAVE, AND

THEY THINK ARE GONNA HELP GIVE THEM WHAT THEY DON'T HAVE, AND THEY IN TURN CAN GIVE THE OTHER

THEM WHAT THEY DON'T HAVE, AND THEY IN TURN CAN GIVE THE OTHER PERSON WHAT THEY THINK THEY

THEY IN TURN CAN GIVE THE OTHER PERSON WHAT THEY THINK THEY NEED, KIND OF HELP MEND EACH

PERSON WHAT THEY THINK THEY NEED, KIND OF HELP MEND EACH OTHER, OR, IN A BAD CASE,

NEED, KIND OF HELP MEND EACH OTHER, OR, IN A BAD CASE, MISGUIDEDLY PUNISH THE OTHER

OTHER, OR, IN A BAD CASE, MISGUIDEDLY PUNISH THE OTHER PERSON?

MISGUIDEDLY PUNISH THE OTHER PERSON? >> ARE YOU BROKEN?

PERSON? >> ARE YOU BROKEN? DO YOU THINK I'M BROKEN?

>> ARE YOU BROKEN? DO YOU THINK I'M BROKEN? >> I THINK EVERYONE'S BROKEN.

>> I THINK YOU FIND WHAT YOU FIND, YOU KNOW, AND YOU DO WHAT YOU DO, AND THEY DO WHAT THEY

FIND, YOU KNOW, AND YOU DO WHAT YOU DO, AND THEY DO WHAT THEY DO.

YOU DO, AND THEY DO WHAT THEY DO. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE, YOU

DO. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, REALLY CHANGE THAT MUCH --

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, REALLY CHANGE THAT MUCH -- REALLY CHANGE OVER THE COURSE OF

KNOW, REALLY CHANGE THAT MUCH -- REALLY CHANGE OVER THE COURSE OF THEIR LIFETIME.

REALLY CHANGE OVER THE COURSE OF THEIR LIFETIME. >> SO YOU JUST THINK IT'S ALL

THEIR LIFETIME. >> SO YOU JUST THINK IT'S ALL RANDOM HERE ON EARTH, PEOPLE

>> SO YOU JUST THINK IT'S ALL RANDOM HERE ON EARTH, PEOPLE MEETING EACH OTHER?

RANDOM HERE ON EARTH, PEOPLE MEETING EACH OTHER? WHY WOULDN'T GOD HAVE A HAND IN

MEETING EACH OTHER? WHY WOULDN'T GOD HAVE A HAND IN THAT EQUATION?

WHY WOULDN'T GOD HAVE A HAND IN THAT EQUATION? >> I IMAGINE HE HAS BETTER

THAT EQUATION? >> I IMAGINE HE HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN MATCH-MAKE.

>> I IMAGINE HE HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN MATCH-MAKE. [ CHUCKLES ]

THINGS TO DO THAN MATCH-MAKE. [ CHUCKLES ] >> LIKE WHAT?

[ CHUCKLES ] >> LIKE WHAT? >> I DON'T KNOW.

>> LIKE WHAT? >> I DON'T KNOW. I'LL HAVE MY MOTHER ASK HIM AND

>> I DON'T KNOW. I'LL HAVE MY MOTHER ASK HIM AND GET BACK TO YOU.

I'LL HAVE MY MOTHER ASK HIM AND GET BACK TO YOU. [ CHUCKLES ]

GET BACK TO YOU. [ CHUCKLES ] >> [ SIGHS ]

>> I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU. >> YOU DO? >> YEAH.

>> YOU DO? >> YEAH. IT'S NOT YOUR PROPER CHRISTMAS

>> YEAH. IT'S NOT YOUR PROPER CHRISTMAS PRESENT.

IT'S NOT YOUR PROPER CHRISTMAS PRESENT. YOU'LL GET THAT TOMORROW.

PRESENT. YOU'LL GET THAT TOMORROW. >> OKAY.

YOU'LL GET THAT TOMORROW. >> OKAY. >> HOLD OUT YOUR HAND.

>> OKAY. >> HOLD OUT YOUR HAND. >> WHAT?

>> HOLD OUT YOUR HAND. >> WHAT? >> DON'T WORRY.

>> WHAT? >> DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT GONNA PROPOSE...

>> DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT GONNA PROPOSE... YET.

I'M NOT GONNA PROPOSE... YET. >> [ LAUGHS ]

YET. >> [ LAUGHS ] >> IT'S OUR ONE-WEEK

>> [ LAUGHS ] >> IT'S OUR ONE-WEEK ANNIVERSARY.

>> IT'S OUR ONE-WEEK ANNIVERSARY. WHICH, ROMANTICALLY ENOUGH,

ANNIVERSARY. WHICH, ROMANTICALLY ENOUGH, HAPPENS TO FALL ON

WHICH, ROMANTICALLY ENOUGH, HAPPENS TO FALL ON CHRISTMAS EVE.

HAPPENS TO FALL ON CHRISTMAS EVE. OH, COME ON.

CHRISTMAS EVE. OH, COME ON. OKAY, GOOD.

OH, COME ON. OKAY, GOOD. I REALIZE IT'S, UM...

OKAY, GOOD. I REALIZE IT'S, UM... IT'S KIND OF AN UGLY RING.

I REALIZE IT'S, UM... IT'S KIND OF AN UGLY RING. >> [ LAUGHS ]

IT'S KIND OF AN UGLY RING. >> [ LAUGHS ] >> [ LAUGHS ]

>> [ LAUGHS ] >> [ LAUGHS ] BUT IT'S VERY SPECIAL.

>> [ LAUGHS ] BUT IT'S VERY SPECIAL. >> NO, I LOVE IT.

BUT IT'S VERY SPECIAL. >> NO, I LOVE IT. >> YOU LIKE IT?

>> NO, I LOVE IT. >> YOU LIKE IT? >> MM-HMM.

>> YOU LIKE IT? >> MM-HMM. YOU SAID YOU'D BE IN LOVE WITH

>> MM-HMM. YOU SAID YOU'D BE IN LOVE WITH ME BY CHRISTMAS.

YOU SAID YOU'D BE IN LOVE WITH ME BY CHRISTMAS. WAS IT TRUE?

ME BY CHRISTMAS. WAS IT TRUE? >> WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WAS IT TRUE? >> WHAT DO YOU THINK? >> I THINK YOU ARE.

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK? >> I THINK YOU ARE. >> I THINK I JUST MIGHT BE, TOO.

>> WAIT. >> WHAT? >> WHERE DID YOU GET THE RING?

>> WHAT? >> WHERE DID YOU GET THE RING? IT'S NOT FROM THE -- FROM THE

>> WHERE DID YOU GET THE RING? IT'S NOT FROM THE -- FROM THE GYPSY LADY, IS IT?

IT'S NOT FROM THE -- FROM THE GYPSY LADY, IS IT? >> YEAH, SHE TOLD ME I WAS GONNA

GYPSY LADY, IS IT? >> YEAH, SHE TOLD ME I WAS GONNA MEET A GIRL TO GIVE IT TO, AND I

>> YEAH, SHE TOLD ME I WAS GONNA MEET A GIRL TO GIVE IT TO, AND I DID.

MEET A GIRL TO GIVE IT TO, AND I DID. IT'S GRACED.

DID. IT'S GRACED. >> NO, IT'S CURSED.

IT'S GRACED. >> NO, IT'S CURSED. SHE CURSED YOU, SO THE RING IS

>> NO, IT'S CURSED. SHE CURSED YOU, SO THE RING IS CURSED.

SHE CURSED YOU, SO THE RING IS CURSED. >> [ LAUGHS ] COME ON!

CURSED. >> [ LAUGHS ] COME ON! THE RING'S NOT CURSED.

>> [ LAUGHS ] COME ON! THE RING'S NOT CURSED. AND IF CURSES EXIST, THAT MEANS

THE RING'S NOT CURSED. AND IF CURSES EXIST, THAT MEANS GOD DOES, TOO, AND GOD BEATS

AND IF CURSES EXIST, THAT MEANS GOD DOES, TOO, AND GOD BEATS CURSES EVERY TIME.

GOD DOES, TOO, AND GOD BEATS CURSES EVERY TIME. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

CURSES EVERY TIME. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. >> WAIT.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. >> WAIT. >> WHAT?!

>> WAIT. >> WHAT?! >> [ LAUGHS ]

>> WHAT?! >> [ LAUGHS ] >> YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW IF

>> [ LAUGHS ] >> YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW IF I'M -- IF I LOVE YOU, TOO?

>> YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW IF I'M -- IF I LOVE YOU, TOO? >> FUCK. I HATE THIS.

I'M -- IF I LOVE YOU, TOO? >> FUCK. I HATE THIS. >> WHAT?

>> FUCK. I HATE THIS. >> WHAT? >> I CAN'T -- I CAN'T SEE YOU.

>> WHAT? >> I CAN'T -- I CAN'T SEE YOU. SO FUCKING ANNOYING.

>> I CAN'T -- I CAN'T SEE YOU. SO FUCKING ANNOYING. >> USUALLY YOU SEE ME WHEN I'M

SO FUCKING ANNOYING. >> USUALLY YOU SEE ME WHEN I'M THAT FAR.

>> USUALLY YOU SEE ME WHEN I'M THAT FAR. >> I KNOW, BUT IT'S NIGHT.

THAT FAR. >> I KNOW, BUT IT'S NIGHT. AT NIGHT, IT GETS WORSE.

>> I KNOW, BUT IT'S NIGHT. AT NIGHT, IT GETS WORSE. IT GETS WORSE AT NIGHT.

AT NIGHT, IT GETS WORSE. IT GETS WORSE AT NIGHT. >> CLOSE YOUR EYES.

IT GETS WORSE AT NIGHT. >> CLOSE YOUR EYES. CLOSE YOUR EYES.

DID YOU WANT TO KNOW? >> I ALREADY KNOW. >> MM-HMM.

>> I ALREADY KNOW. >> MM-HMM. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> MM-HMM. WHAT DO YOU THINK? >> I think you're in love with

WHAT DO YOU THINK? >> I think you're in love with me.

>> I think you're in love with me. >> REALLY?

me. >> REALLY? >> But I don't want to have my

>> REALLY? >> But I don't want to have my eyes closed when you say it for

>> But I don't want to have my eyes closed when you say it for the first time.

eyes closed when you say it for the first time. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

the first time. >> [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY. OPEN THEM.

>> [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY. OPEN THEM. IT'S A NO.

OKAY. OPEN THEM. IT'S A NO. >> THAT'S REALLY MEAN.

IT'S A NO. >> THAT'S REALLY MEAN. >> [ LAUGHS ]

>> THAT'S REALLY MEAN. >> [ LAUGHS ] IT'S NOT --

>> [ LAUGHS ] IT'S NOT -- >> WOW!

IT'S NOT -- >> WOW! >> [ LAUGHS ]

JE T'AIME.

JE T'AIME A LOT. CAN I SAY THAT? JE T'AIME A LOT?

CAN I SAY THAT? JE T'AIME A LOT? >> I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT ONE.

JE T'AIME A LOT? >> I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT ONE. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT ONE. >> [ CHUCKLES ] >> You can say it any way you

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> You can say it any way you want, just as long as you say

>> You can say it any way you want, just as long as you say it.

>> MERRY CHRISTMAS. >> COME VISIT ANYTIME. >> AU REVOIR.

>> COME VISIT ANYTIME. >> AU REVOIR. >> AU REVOIR.

[ DOOR CLOSES ] >> HE REMINDS ME OF FRANCOIS. >> WHO?

>> HE REMINDS ME OF FRANCOIS. >> WHO? >> YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND.

>> WHO? >> YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND. YOU WERE ONLY 7 YEARS OLD.

>> YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND. YOU WERE ONLY 7 YEARS OLD. YOU BROUGHT A BOY HOME AFTER

YOU WERE ONLY 7 YEARS OLD. YOU BROUGHT A BOY HOME AFTER SCHOOL ONE DAY AND DECLARED THAT

YOU BROUGHT A BOY HOME AFTER SCHOOL ONE DAY AND DECLARED THAT YOU WERE GOING TO MARRY HIM

SCHOOL ONE DAY AND DECLARED THAT YOU WERE GOING TO MARRY HIM BECAUSE HE WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND.

YOU WERE GOING TO MARRY HIM BECAUSE HE WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND. >> I-I DON'T REMEMBER THAT, MOM.

BECAUSE HE WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND. >> I-I DON'T REMEMBER THAT, MOM. >> I DO, AS CLEAR AS DAY.

>> I-I DON'T REMEMBER THAT, MOM. >> I DO, AS CLEAR AS DAY. MICHAEL IS LIKE FRANCOIS ALL

>> I DO, AS CLEAR AS DAY. MICHAEL IS LIKE FRANCOIS ALL GROWN UP.

MICHAEL IS LIKE FRANCOIS ALL GROWN UP. THEY HAVE THE SAME KIND EYES,

GROWN UP. THEY HAVE THE SAME KIND EYES, AND I CAN STILL SEE THE LITTLE

THEY HAVE THE SAME KIND EYES, AND I CAN STILL SEE THE LITTLE BOY IN HIM.

AND I CAN STILL SEE THE LITTLE BOY IN HIM. >> [ CHUCKLES ]

BOY IN HIM. >> [ CHUCKLES ] >> THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT

>> [ CHUCKLES ] >> THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

>> DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS YOUR ONLY BOYFRIEND? >> WELL, NOT COUNTING FRANCOIS,

ONLY BOYFRIEND? >> WELL, NOT COUNTING FRANCOIS, OF COURSE.

>> WELL, NOT COUNTING FRANCOIS, OF COURSE. >> OH, FRANCOIS.

OF COURSE. >> OH, FRANCOIS. AND THERE WAS WHO ELSE?

>> OH, FRANCOIS. AND THERE WAS WHO ELSE? PROBABLY BILLY AND FUCKING

AND THERE WAS WHO ELSE? PROBABLY BILLY AND FUCKING FREDERIC AND --

PROBABLY BILLY AND FUCKING FREDERIC AND -- >> NO, JUST FRANCOIS.

[ BRAKE GRINDS ] [ ENGINE TURNS OFF ] >> THANKS A LOT FOR BRING ME TO

[ ENGINE TURNS OFF ] >> THANKS A LOT FOR BRING ME TO MEET YOUR MOM.

>> THANKS A LOT FOR BRING ME TO MEET YOUR MOM. THAT REALLY MEANT A LOT TO ME.

MEET YOUR MOM. THAT REALLY MEANT A LOT TO ME. >> THANKS FOR COMING.

THAT REALLY MEANT A LOT TO ME. >> THANKS FOR COMING. SO, WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA GO TO

>> THANKS FOR COMING. SO, WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA GO TO YOUR FRIEND'S HOUSE NOW FOR

SO, WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA GO TO YOUR FRIEND'S HOUSE NOW FOR CHRISTMAS?

YOUR FRIEND'S HOUSE NOW FOR CHRISTMAS? >> YEAH.

CHRISTMAS? >> YEAH. THEY'D REALLY LIKE TO MEET YOU.

>> YEAH. THEY'D REALLY LIKE TO MEET YOU. AND I'D LOVE IT IF YOU CAME.

THEY'D REALLY LIKE TO MEET YOU. AND I'D LOVE IT IF YOU CAME. YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO?

AND I'D LOVE IT IF YOU CAME. YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO? >> I'M SORRY.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO? >> I'M SORRY. YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT?

>> I'M SORRY. YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT? >> YEAH, OF COURSE.

YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT? >> YEAH, OF COURSE. >> BUT, UH, I'D LIKE TO MEET YOU

>> YEAH, OF COURSE. >> BUT, UH, I'D LIKE TO MEET YOU AFTERWARDS IF YOU WANT.

>> BUT, UH, I'D LIKE TO MEET YOU AFTERWARDS IF YOU WANT. >> I'D REALLY LIKE THAT.

>> Thank you. [ LOCK TURNS ]

>> [ SIGHS ] [ Ringing ] >> Hello.

[ Ringing ] >> Hello. >> HEY, JOSH. IT'S MICHAEL.

>> Hello. >> HEY, JOSH. IT'S MICHAEL. >> Hey.

>> HEY, JOSH. IT'S MICHAEL. >> Hey. >> SORRY TO CALL YOU ON

>> Hey. >> SORRY TO CALL YOU ON CHRISTMAS, BUT I KNOW YOU'RE A

>> SORRY TO CALL YOU ON CHRISTMAS, BUT I KNOW YOU'RE A JEW.

CHRISTMAS, BUT I KNOW YOU'RE A JEW. >> Yeah, PlayStation with the

JEW. >> Yeah, PlayStation with the kids and then Chinese food.

>> Yeah, PlayStation with the kids and then Chinese food. Sorry I didn't call you before

kids and then Chinese food. Sorry I didn't call you before the holiday.

Sorry I didn't call you before the holiday. I didn't want to bum you out,

the holiday. I didn't want to bum you out, honestly, right before

I didn't want to bum you out, honestly, right before Christmas.

honestly, right before Christmas. Not good news, man.

Christmas. Not good news, man. Everyone has passed.

Not good news, man. Everyone has passed. >> EVERYONE?

Everyone has passed. >> EVERYONE? ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE?

>> EVERYONE? ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE? THERE'S NOT ONE PUBLISHER THAT

ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE? THERE'S NOT ONE PUBLISHER THAT DIDN'T PASS ON MY BOOK?

THERE'S NOT ONE PUBLISHER THAT DIDN'T PASS ON MY BOOK? >> No, man. I'm sorry.

DIDN'T PASS ON MY BOOK? >> No, man. I'm sorry. Hey, Merry Christmas.

>> No, man. I'm sorry. Hey, Merry Christmas. >> YEAH. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Hey, Merry Christmas. >> YEAH. MERRY CHRISTMAS. FUCK!

>> YEAH. MERRY CHRISTMAS. FUCK! [ CELLPHONE SLAMS ]

FUCK! [ CELLPHONE SLAMS ] FUCK!

[ CELLPHONE SLAMS ] FUCK! [ CRASH ]

FUCK! [ CRASH ] MOTHERFUCKERS.

[ CRASH ] MOTHERFUCKERS. MOTHERFUCKERS.

[ Ringing ]

>> Hello, Michael. >> CAN YOU DO A SESSION NOW? >> It's Christmas.

>> CAN YOU DO A SESSION NOW? >> It's Christmas. I'm with my family.

>> It's Christmas. I'm with my family. >> YEAH, I REALIZE.

I'm with my family. >> YEAH, I REALIZE. I'LL PAY YOU TRIPLE.

>> YEAH, I REALIZE. I'LL PAY YOU TRIPLE. CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE FOR AN

I'LL PAY YOU TRIPLE. CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE FOR AN HOUR?

CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE FOR AN HOUR? >> I really can't.

HOUR? >> I really can't. I have a friend who I think you

>> I really can't. I have a friend who I think you would enjoy immensely if she

I have a friend who I think you would enjoy immensely if she might do a session today.

would enjoy immensely if she might do a session today. Shall I call her for you?

might do a session today. Shall I call her for you? >> IS SHE MEAN?

Shall I call her for you? >> IS SHE MEAN? >> Almost as mean as me.

>> IS SHE MEAN? >> Almost as mean as me. Trust me, she won't disappoint

>> Almost as mean as me. Trust me, she won't disappoint you.

Trust me, she won't disappoint you. >> CALL HER.

[ HEEL CLACKS ]

DID MISTRESS NATALIE TELL YOU WHAT I LIKE? JUST BE REALLY MEAN TO ME --

WHAT I LIKE? JUST BE REALLY MEAN TO ME -- LIKE, REALLY MEAN.

JUST BE REALLY MEAN TO ME -- LIKE, REALLY MEAN. VERBALLY, PHYSICALLY.

LIKE, REALLY MEAN. VERBALLY, PHYSICALLY. YOU CAN SLAP ME IN THE FACE

VERBALLY, PHYSICALLY. YOU CAN SLAP ME IN THE FACE REALLY HARD.

YOU CAN SLAP ME IN THE FACE REALLY HARD. YOU CAN PUNCH ME IN THE FACE.

REALLY HARD. YOU CAN PUNCH ME IN THE FACE. UH, BUT DON'T DRAW BLOOD, SO

YOU CAN PUNCH ME IN THE FACE. UH, BUT DON'T DRAW BLOOD, SO DON'T PUNCH ME ANYWHERE WHERE I

UH, BUT DON'T DRAW BLOOD, SO DON'T PUNCH ME ANYWHERE WHERE I WOULD BLEED, UM, LIKE MY NOSE OR

DON'T PUNCH ME ANYWHERE WHERE I WOULD BLEED, UM, LIKE MY NOSE OR MY MOUTH.

WOULD BLEED, UM, LIKE MY NOSE OR MY MOUTH. DON'T LEAVE ANY MARKS ON MY

MY MOUTH. DON'T LEAVE ANY MARKS ON MY FACE.

DON'T LEAVE ANY MARKS ON MY FACE. SMOTHER ME, CHOKE ME.

FACE. SMOTHER ME, CHOKE ME. YOU CAN, UH, USE A PLASTIC BAG,

SMOTHER ME, CHOKE ME. YOU CAN, UH, USE A PLASTIC BAG, UH, ON ME, PUT ME IN A SLEEPER

YOU CAN, UH, USE A PLASTIC BAG, UH, ON ME, PUT ME IN A SLEEPER HOLD, BUT, UH, NOT TILL I PASS

UH, ON ME, PUT ME IN A SLEEPER HOLD, BUT, UH, NOT TILL I PASS OUT.

HOLD, BUT, UH, NOT TILL I PASS OUT. SO RIGHT BEFORE I LOSE

OUT. SO RIGHT BEFORE I LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS, LIKE, MAKE SURE

SO RIGHT BEFORE I LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS, LIKE, MAKE SURE I -- YOU LET GO.

CONSCIOUSNESS, LIKE, MAKE SURE I -- YOU LET GO. SAY I'M A PATHETIC LOSER THAT NO

I -- YOU LET GO. SAY I'M A PATHETIC LOSER THAT NO GIRL WILL EVER LOVE AND I'LL

SAY I'M A PATHETIC LOSER THAT NO GIRL WILL EVER LOVE AND I'LL NEVER GET A GIRLFRIEND.

GIRL WILL EVER LOVE AND I'LL NEVER GET A GIRLFRIEND. I'M PROBABLY JUST SOME LITTLE

NEVER GET A GIRLFRIEND. I'M PROBABLY JUST SOME LITTLE LOSER FAGGOT THAT WANTS TO GET

I'M PROBABLY JUST SOME LITTLE LOSER FAGGOT THAT WANTS TO GET RAPED.

LOSER FAGGOT THAT WANTS TO GET RAPED. AND THEN YOU CAN RAPE ME.

RAPED. AND THEN YOU CAN RAPE ME. JUST TELL ME I DESERVE TO DIE.

AND THEN YOU CAN RAPE ME. JUST TELL ME I DESERVE TO DIE. AND THAT IF I WASN'T SO

JUST TELL ME I DESERVE TO DIE. AND THAT IF I WASN'T SO PATHETIC...YOU WOULD KILL ME.

HEY. I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE, BUT SANTA AND I HAD SOME LAST-MINUTE

I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE, BUT SANTA AND I HAD SOME LAST-MINUTE ARRANGEMENTS PREPARING YOUR

AND I HAD SOME LAST-MINUTE ARRANGEMENTS PREPARING YOUR PRESENT, WHICH YOU'RE GONNA GET

ARRANGEMENTS PREPARING YOUR PRESENT, WHICH YOU'RE GONNA GET LATER.

PRESENT, WHICH YOU'RE GONNA GET LATER. >> I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU

LATER. >> I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE.

>> I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

ANYMORE. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> IT'S OVER.

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> IT'S OVER. >> IT'S NOT OVER.

>> IT'S OVER. >> IT'S NOT OVER. WHAT -- WHAT'S OVER?

>> IT'S NOT OVER. WHAT -- WHAT'S OVER? WHAT ARE YOU -- SOPHIE, WHAT'S

WHAT -- WHAT'S OVER? WHAT ARE YOU -- SOPHIE, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT ARE YOU -- SOPHIE, WHAT'S GOING ON? >> IT'LL NEVER WORK OUT BETWEEN

GOING ON? >> IT'LL NEVER WORK OUT BETWEEN US, AND I DON'T WANT TO WASTE MY

>> IT'LL NEVER WORK OUT BETWEEN US, AND I DON'T WANT TO WASTE MY TIME ANYMORE.

US, AND I DON'T WANT TO WASTE MY TIME ANYMORE. >> SOPHIE, COME ON.

TIME ANYMORE. >> SOPHIE, COME ON. DON'T DO THIS, NOT TONIGHT.

>> SOPHIE, COME ON. DON'T DO THIS, NOT TONIGHT. IT'S CHRISTMAS.

DON'T DO THIS, NOT TONIGHT. IT'S CHRISTMAS. COME ON.

IT'S CHRISTMAS. COME ON. YOU START TO LIKE ME A LOT, AND

COME ON. YOU START TO LIKE ME A LOT, AND THEN YOU FREAK OUT.

YOU START TO LIKE ME A LOT, AND THEN YOU FREAK OUT. BUT IT'S -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO

THEN YOU FREAK OUT. BUT IT'S -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT, OKAY?

BUT IT'S -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT, OKAY? I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

IT, OKAY? I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. >> YEAH, RIGHT.

I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. >> YEAH, RIGHT. IT'S BECAUSE I LIKE YOU A LOT

>> YEAH, RIGHT. IT'S BECAUSE I LIKE YOU A LOT THAT I'M RUNNING AWAY.

IT'S BECAUSE I LIKE YOU A LOT THAT I'M RUNNING AWAY. I LIED. I DON'T LOVE YOU.

THAT I'M RUNNING AWAY. I LIED. I DON'T LOVE YOU. I DON'T CARE FOR YOU.

I LIED. I DON'T LOVE YOU. I DON'T CARE FOR YOU. I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE YOU.

I DON'T CARE FOR YOU. I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE YOU. YOU WERE LIKE A DISTRACTION TO

I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE YOU. YOU WERE LIKE A DISTRACTION TO ME.

YOU WERE LIKE A DISTRACTION TO ME. SO PLEASE DON'T EVER TRY TO

ME. SO PLEASE DON'T EVER TRY TO CONTACT ME, OR YOU'LL HAVE

SO PLEASE DON'T EVER TRY TO CONTACT ME, OR YOU'LL HAVE TROUBLE YOU CAN'T IMAGINE.

CONTACT ME, OR YOU'LL HAVE TROUBLE YOU CAN'T IMAGINE. >> SOPHIE...

SOPHIE... >> WHAT WERE YOU DOING TONIGHT BEFORE YOU MET ME?

>> WHAT WERE YOU DOING TONIGHT BEFORE YOU MET ME? >> I WAS AT CHARLES AND

BEFORE YOU MET ME? >> I WAS AT CHARLES AND CAROLINE'S FOR CHRISTMAS.

>> I WAS AT CHARLES AND CAROLINE'S FOR CHRISTMAS. YOU KNOW THAT.

CAROLINE'S FOR CHRISTMAS. YOU KNOW THAT. >> YOU WERE AT CHARLES AND

YOU KNOW THAT. >> YOU WERE AT CHARLES AND CAROLINE'S?

>> YOU WERE AT CHARLES AND CAROLINE'S? >> YEAH. WHY?

CAROLINE'S? >> YEAH. WHY? >> ALL NIGHT? YOU NEVER LEFT?

>> YEAH. WHY? >> ALL NIGHT? YOU NEVER LEFT? >> NO.

>> ALL NIGHT? YOU NEVER LEFT? >> NO. WHY? DO YOU NOT BELIEVE ME?

>> NO. WHY? DO YOU NOT BELIEVE ME? >> OF COURSE I BELIEVE YOU.

WHY? DO YOU NOT BELIEVE ME? >> OF COURSE I BELIEVE YOU. YOU NEVER LIE, DO YOU?

>> OF COURSE I BELIEVE YOU. YOU NEVER LIE, DO YOU? YOUR TURN. [ SNIFFS ]

YOU NEVER LIE, DO YOU? YOUR TURN. [ SNIFFS ] >> MY TURN FOR WHAT?

YOUR TURN. [ SNIFFS ] >> MY TURN FOR WHAT? >> YOU GET TO ASK ME WHAT I WAS

>> MY TURN FOR WHAT? >> YOU GET TO ASK ME WHAT I WAS DOING TONIGHT BEFORE I MET YOU.

>> YOU GET TO ASK ME WHAT I WAS DOING TONIGHT BEFORE I MET YOU. >> I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THIS

DOING TONIGHT BEFORE I MET YOU. >> I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME.

>> I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME. >> OH, COME ON. YOU LOVE GAMES.

GAME. >> OH, COME ON. YOU LOVE GAMES. ASK ME WHAT I WAS DOING TONIGHT

>> OH, COME ON. YOU LOVE GAMES. ASK ME WHAT I WAS DOING TONIGHT BEFORE I MET YOU.

ASK ME WHAT I WAS DOING TONIGHT BEFORE I MET YOU. >> NO.

BEFORE I MET YOU. >> NO. >> ASK ME.

>> NO. >> ASK ME. >> I DON'T WANT TO.

>> ASK ME. >> I DON'T WANT TO. >> ASK ME!

>> I DON'T WANT TO. >> ASK ME! >> WHAT WERE YOU DOING TONIGHT

>> ASK ME! >> WHAT WERE YOU DOING TONIGHT BEFORE YOU MET ME?

>> WHAT WERE YOU DOING TONIGHT BEFORE YOU MET ME? >> I WAS FUCKING ANOTHER MAN.

BEFORE YOU MET ME? >> I WAS FUCKING ANOTHER MAN. WE MADE LOVE ALL NIGHT.

>> I WAS FUCKING ANOTHER MAN. WE MADE LOVE ALL NIGHT. HE MADE ME COME OVER AND OVER.

WE MADE LOVE ALL NIGHT. HE MADE ME COME OVER AND OVER. AND HE'S NOT INSECURE AND NEEDY

HE MADE ME COME OVER AND OVER. AND HE'S NOT INSECURE AND NEEDY LIKE YOU ARE, YOU KNOW?

AND HE'S NOT INSECURE AND NEEDY LIKE YOU ARE, YOU KNOW? HE DIDN'T WHINE ABOUT HOW I

LIKE YOU ARE, YOU KNOW? HE DIDN'T WHINE ABOUT HOW I NEVER TOUCH HIS DICK.

HE DIDN'T WHINE ABOUT HOW I NEVER TOUCH HIS DICK. HE DID WHATEVER HE WANTED, JUST

NEVER TOUCH HIS DICK. HE DID WHATEVER HE WANTED, JUST TOOK MY FACE IN HIS HANDS AND

HE DID WHATEVER HE WANTED, JUST TOOK MY FACE IN HIS HANDS AND MADE ME SUCK HIS COCK.

TOOK MY FACE IN HIS HANDS AND MADE ME SUCK HIS COCK. IT WAS SO NICE.

MADE ME SUCK HIS COCK. IT WAS SO NICE. HE CAME SO HARD.

IT WAS SO NICE. HE CAME SO HARD. I STILL HAVE IT ON MY BREATH.

HE CAME SO HARD. I STILL HAVE IT ON MY BREATH. CAN YOU SMELL IT?

I STILL HAVE IT ON MY BREATH. CAN YOU SMELL IT? DOES IT SMELL LIKE SMITTEN?

CAN YOU SMELL IT? DOES IT SMELL LIKE SMITTEN? Kiss me.

DOES IT SMELL LIKE SMITTEN? Kiss me. KISS ME AND TASTE ANOTHER MAN'S

Kiss me. KISS ME AND TASTE ANOTHER MAN'S COME IN YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S MOUTH.

KISS ME AND TASTE ANOTHER MAN'S COME IN YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S MOUTH. OH, COME ON. HAVE SOME.

COME IN YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S MOUTH. OH, COME ON. HAVE SOME. NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME?

OH, COME ON. HAVE SOME. NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME? [ SIREN WAILING ]

[ Ringing ] >> Hello? >> YEAH, THAT GIRL YOU SENT ME

>> Hello? >> YEAH, THAT GIRL YOU SENT ME WASN'T MEAN AT ALL.

>> YEAH, THAT GIRL YOU SENT ME WASN'T MEAN AT ALL. >> She wasn't?

WASN'T MEAN AT ALL. >> She wasn't? Usually, she does as much as

>> She wasn't? Usually, she does as much as people can handle.

Usually, she does as much as people can handle. >> NO.

people can handle. >> NO. SHE JUST SAT THERE, AND THEN

>> NO. SHE JUST SAT THERE, AND THEN AFTER I TOLD HER WHAT I WANTED,

SHE JUST SAT THERE, AND THEN AFTER I TOLD HER WHAT I WANTED, SHE JUST GOT UP AND LEFT.

AFTER I TOLD HER WHAT I WANTED, SHE JUST GOT UP AND LEFT. >> Oh, that's odd.

[ GLASS SHATTERING ]

>> [ SCOFFS ]

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ] [ RING CLINKS ]

[ RINGING CONTINUES ] >> ALLô.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

[ SOFT JAZZ PLAYS ] >> ¶ LONGING FOR THE ONE I LOVE ¶

>> ¶ LONGING FOR THE ONE I LOVE ¶ ¶ LIKE SEASONS IN THE AIR ¶

LOVE ¶ ¶ LIKE SEASONS IN THE AIR ¶ ¶ AS THEY COME AND GO, I WATCH ¶

¶ LIKE SEASONS IN THE AIR ¶ ¶ AS THEY COME AND GO, I WATCH ¶ ¶ BUT STILL THERE'S NO... ¶

¶ NOTHING'S EVER NEW ¶ ¶ BLUES AS IF ON CUE ¶ ¶ WHAT AM I TO DO HERE? ¶

¶ BLUES AS IF ON CUE ¶ ¶ WHAT AM I TO DO HERE? ¶ ¶ THIS OLD HEART ¶

¶ WHAT AM I TO DO HERE? ¶ ¶ THIS OLD HEART ¶ ¶ RUNNING THROUGH THIS WALK OF

¶ THIS OLD HEART ¶ ¶ RUNNING THROUGH THIS WALK OF LIFE ¶

¶ RUNNING THROUGH THIS WALK OF LIFE ¶ ¶ WHO KNOWS WHERE IT'LL END ¶

LIFE ¶ ¶ WHO KNOWS WHERE IT'LL END ¶ ¶ HOPING THAT SOMEWHERE ALONG

¶ WHO KNOWS WHERE IT'LL END ¶ ¶ HOPING THAT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, I'LL HAVE A FRIEND ¶

¶ ONE WHO REALLY KNOWS JUST THE WAY IT GOES ¶ ¶ ON THIS LONELY ROAD THAT'S

WAY IT GOES ¶ ¶ ON THIS LONELY ROAD THAT'S NEVER-ENDING ¶

¶ ON THIS LONELY ROAD THAT'S NEVER-ENDING ¶ ¶ I HOPE SOMEDAY I WILL FIND

NEVER-ENDING ¶ ¶ I HOPE SOMEDAY I WILL FIND HER ¶

¶ AND LOVE WILL LAST FOREVER ¶ ¶ AND IT WILL FEEL LIKE IT'S ALWAYS... ¶

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> "DEAR SOPHIE..." HELLO? >> HELLO!

HELLO? >> HELLO! COME IN.

SIT DOWN.

SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO TO YOU?

>> I WANT YOU TO KILL ME. >> YOU NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU ASK ME TO DO TO YOU,

>> YOU NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU ASK ME TO DO TO YOU, BECAUSE I WILL DO IT.

OF WHAT YOU ASK ME TO DO TO YOU, BECAUSE I WILL DO IT. SO I'M GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN,

BECAUSE I WILL DO IT. SO I'M GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO TO

SO I'M GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO TO YOU?

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO TO YOU? >> I WANT YOU TO KILL ME.

>> WHY DON'T I PLAY WITH YOU FOR A WHILE, AND THEN WE'LL SEE IF... THAT'S STILL WHAT YOU

A WHILE, AND THEN WE'LL SEE IF... THAT'S STILL WHAT YOU WANT.

[ Ringing ] >> Oui?

>> [ GROANS ]

[ COUGHS ]

DO IT. >> DO WHAT, MICHAEL?

>> KILL ME. >> MICHAEL!

>> ARE YOU SURE? YOU GET NO SECOND CHANCES. >> PLEASE KILL ME.

>> IS THERE ANY GOD YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING TO? >> NO.

SAY SOMETHING TO? >> NO. >> IS THERE ANY PERSON YOU WANT

>> NO. >> IS THERE ANY PERSON YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING TO?

>> [ Voice breaking ] NO, NO. JUST DO IT. JUST DO IT.

JUST DO IT. JUST DO IT. PLEASE.

JUST DO IT. PLEASE. >> OKAY.

>> MICHAEL! MICHAEL! MICHAEL!

MICHAEL! >> [ SNIFFLES ]

"DEAR SOPHIE, DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT I WOULD TELL YOU

WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT I WOULD TELL YOU ONE DAY THAT I THOUGHT WHEN I

SOMETHING THAT I WOULD TELL YOU ONE DAY THAT I THOUGHT WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU?

ONE DAY THAT I THOUGHT WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU? IT WAS THE CLEAREST MOMENT I'VE

FIRST SAW YOU? IT WAS THE CLEAREST MOMENT I'VE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

IT WAS THE CLEAREST MOMENT I'VE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. YOU WERE PICKING ORANGES FROM A

EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. YOU WERE PICKING ORANGES FROM A CRATE, AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,

YOU WERE PICKING ORANGES FROM A CRATE, AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, 'THAT'S THE WOMAN I'M GONNA

CRATE, AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, 'THAT'S THE WOMAN I'M GONNA SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH.'

'THAT'S THE WOMAN I'M GONNA SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH.' AND THAT WAS THE TRUTH.

SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH.' AND THAT WAS THE TRUTH. I LOVE YOU, SOPHIE, AND I KNOW

AND THAT WAS THE TRUTH. I LOVE YOU, SOPHIE, AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME, TOO.

I LOVE YOU, SOPHIE, AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME, TOO. YOU'RE JUST TOO SCARED RIGHT

YOU LOVE ME, TOO. YOU'RE JUST TOO SCARED RIGHT NOW, BUT I KNOW THAT WON'T LAST

YOU'RE JUST TOO SCARED RIGHT NOW, BUT I KNOW THAT WON'T LAST FOREVER AND, ONE DAY, YOU WILL

NOW, BUT I KNOW THAT WON'T LAST FOREVER AND, ONE DAY, YOU WILL LET YOURSELF LOVE ME."

FOREVER AND, ONE DAY, YOU WILL LET YOURSELF LOVE ME." [ GASPS ]

LET YOURSELF LOVE ME." [ GASPS ] "I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH UNTIL

[ GASPS ] "I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH UNTIL THAT DAY, BUT I'LL TAKE SOLACE

"I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH UNTIL THAT DAY, BUT I'LL TAKE SOLACE IN KNOWING THAT WHEN IT COMES,

THAT DAY, BUT I'LL TAKE SOLACE IN KNOWING THAT WHEN IT COMES, EVEN IF IT'S WHEN WE'RE 120,

IN KNOWING THAT WHEN IT COMES, EVEN IF IT'S WHEN WE'RE 120, I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN UNDER THE

EVEN IF IT'S WHEN WE'RE 120, I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN UNDER THE WILLOW TREE, AND THAT WILL BE

I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN UNDER THE WILLOW TREE, AND THAT WILL BE THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY ETERNAL

WILLOW TREE, AND THAT WILL BE THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY ETERNAL LIFE.

THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY ETERNAL LIFE. UNTIL THEN, AU REVOIR.

LIFE. UNTIL THEN, AU REVOIR. MICHAEL."

[ SPEAKS FRENCH ]

MICHAEL! MICHAEL!

MICHAEL.

MICHAEL!

[ SIGHS ]

Wait for me. Wait for me under the willow tree.

[ SIREN WAILING ] >> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ BREATHING STOPS ]

[ BREATHING RESUMES ] [ BREATHING STOPS ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

>> NO! [ SOBBING ]

>> ¶ YOU COVERED ME ¶ ¶ ALL THE WORDS, ALL THE LETTERS SWAYED ON MY HAND ¶

¶ ALL THE WORDS, ALL THE LETTERS SWAYED ON MY HAND ¶ ¶ CUT ME DOWN, FELT IMPRESSED ¶

SWAYED ON MY HAND ¶ ¶ CUT ME DOWN, FELT IMPRESSED ¶ ¶ WHAT IT'S WORTH ¶

¶ CUT ME DOWN, FELT IMPRESSED ¶ ¶ WHAT IT'S WORTH ¶ ¶ ALL I WANT IS YOUR HANDS IN MY

¶ WHAT IT'S WORTH ¶ ¶ ALL I WANT IS YOUR HANDS IN MY HANDS ¶

¶ ALL I WANT IS YOUR HANDS IN MY HANDS ¶ ¶ RUSHING IN, RUSHING IN AGAIN ¶

HANDS ¶ ¶ RUSHING IN, RUSHING IN AGAIN ¶ ¶ WHAT I WANT IS YOUR HANDS IN

¶ RUSHING IN, RUSHING IN AGAIN ¶ ¶ WHAT I WANT IS YOUR HANDS IN MY HANDS ¶

¶ WHAT I WANT IS YOUR HANDS IN MY HANDS ¶ ¶ WHAT I WANT ¶

MY HANDS ¶ ¶ WHAT I WANT ¶ ¶ IT'S WHAT I WANT ¶

¶ WHAT I WANT ¶ ¶ IT'S WHAT I WANT ¶ ¶ ALL I WANT ¶

¶ IT'S WHAT I WANT ¶ ¶ ALL I WANT ¶ ¶ ALL I WANT ¶

¶ ALL I WANT ¶ ¶ ALL I WANT ¶ ¶ YOUR HANDS IN MY HANDS ¶

¶ ALL ¶ ¶ ALL I WANT ¶ ¶ ALL I WANT ¶

¶ ALL I WANT ¶ ¶ ALL I WANT ¶ ¶ YOUR HANDS IN MY HANDS ¶

¶ ALL I WANT ¶ ¶ YOUR HANDS IN MY HANDS ¶ ¶ ALL ¶¶

>> ¶ I WILL WAIT ¶ ¶ YOU WILL BREAK ¶

¶ YOU WILL BREAK ¶ ¶ I WILL SUMMON ¶

¶ I WILL SUMMON ¶ ¶ YOU WILL ME ¶

¶ YOU WILL ME ¶ ¶ I WILL COME UNDONE ¶

¶ I WILL COME UNDONE ¶ ¶ YOU WILL SUCCUMB ¶

¶ YOU WILL SUCCUMB ¶ ¶ I WILL BE VESTAL ¶

¶ I WILL BE VESTAL ¶ ¶ YOU WILL BLEED ¶

¶ I WILL KILL TIME ¶ ¶ YOU WILL SINGE THE THREAD THAT

¶ YOU WILL SINGE THE THREAD THAT HANGS THE LIE ¶

HANGS THE LIE ¶ ¶ I WILL RETURN THE FAVOR ¶

¶ I WILL RETURN THE FAVOR ¶ ¶ I WILL NOT ABATE ¶

¶ I WILL NOT ABATE ¶ ¶ YOU WILLINGLY DISINTEGRATE ¶

¶ YOU WILLINGLY DISINTEGRATE ¶ ¶ I WILL BE THE UNDERTAKER ¶

>> ¶ YOU ¶ >> ¶ YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME ¶

>> ¶ YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME ¶ >> ¶ YOU ¶