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1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:04,168
♪
2
00:00:08,423 --> 00:00:10,659
[both laughing]
3
00:00:10,688 --> 00:00:12,955
Marge, I love
when you grab my butt
4
00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:14,919
with your cold, stiff fingers.
5
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,716
Homie,
I'm not touching your butt.
6
00:00:18,542 --> 00:00:20,111
-Ew!
-Ew! Ew! Ew!
7
00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:22,642
Save me, Baywatch!
8
00:00:22,668 --> 00:00:25,638
♪ Ah ♪
9
00:00:25,664 --> 00:00:30,269
♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah ♪
10
00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:32,859
[vocalizing]
11
00:00:37,779 --> 00:00:41,582
♪ Hot bodies and murder ♪
12
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:47,878
♪ Rich, sexy people
behaving badly ♪
13
00:00:47,863 --> 00:00:52,701
♪ Makes you feel better
about being broke and unknown ♪
14
00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:57,093
♪ Symbolic statues
and endless brunch ♪
15
00:00:57,116 --> 00:01:02,688
♪ How do they eat like that
and still look great naked? ♪
16
00:01:02,707 --> 00:01:07,512
♪ Are they on O-O-O-Ozempic? ♪
17
00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:11,704
[vocalizing]
18
00:01:13,524 --> 00:01:16,059
-[seabirds squawking]
-[horn blows]
19
00:01:16,054 --> 00:01:19,189
The Yellow Lotus,
a luxury, five-star resort,
20
00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:23,019
has opened its teakwood doors to
Springfield's neediest minority:
21
00:01:23,076 --> 00:01:24,744
the wealthy elite.
22
00:01:24,773 --> 00:01:26,942
[chuckling]
And in breaking news...
23
00:01:26,970 --> 00:01:28,236
This just in...
24
00:01:28,234 --> 00:01:30,671
my mouth. Mmm!
25
00:01:30,732 --> 00:01:33,100
-Mmm!
-[horn blows]
26
00:01:35,756 --> 00:01:39,727
Are you sure
this is the timeshare we bought?
27
00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:41,686
It's the exact same address.
28
00:01:41,682 --> 00:01:43,382
We've been paying into it
for ten years.
29
00:01:43,379 --> 00:01:47,883
It just seems too good a place
for us to have a reservation.
30
00:01:51,033 --> 00:01:52,201
[slurping]
31
00:01:52,265 --> 00:01:53,533
Read it and weep.
32
00:01:53,563 --> 00:01:56,766
For joy... 'cause it's good.
33
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:01,569
Now, I'm legally forbidden
to say
34
00:02:01,585 --> 00:02:03,286
that this is a good investment.
35
00:02:03,315 --> 00:02:05,917
But this is
a very good investment.
36
00:02:05,977 --> 00:02:07,245
[groans]
37
00:02:07,275 --> 00:02:09,944
Homer, I'm uncomfortable.
38
00:02:09,971 --> 00:02:13,040
The baby's using my womb
as a trampoline,
39
00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:14,801
and Consumer Repo says
40
00:02:14,864 --> 00:02:18,467
timeshares are the worst
investment in real estate.
41
00:02:18,492 --> 00:02:20,994
Hey, I am not
selling you real estate.
42
00:02:21,054 --> 00:02:22,455
I'm selling you something
43
00:02:22,485 --> 00:02:24,921
that is much more valuable
than property.
44
00:02:24,947 --> 00:02:26,382
Points.
45
00:02:26,445 --> 00:02:28,514
Hmm. Points, eh?
46
00:02:28,576 --> 00:02:32,947
Points that you can trade in
for a dream vacation any time,
47
00:02:32,969 --> 00:02:34,437
except on blackout dates.
48
00:02:34,434 --> 00:02:36,801
Your unborn children
will inherit your points.
49
00:02:36,796 --> 00:02:38,164
And your fees.
50
00:02:38,194 --> 00:02:39,830
It's a steal. For me.
51
00:02:39,892 --> 00:02:41,559
Woo-hoo! Why, you!
52
00:02:43,686 --> 00:02:46,088
Yeah, quick question.
Is he mooning me?
53
00:02:46,149 --> 00:02:48,518
The baby's behind speaks
for us all
54
00:02:48,545 --> 00:02:51,581
when it says
we should leave now!
55
00:02:51,641 --> 00:02:53,777
Well, of course.
You're not prisoners.
56
00:02:53,804 --> 00:02:55,974
But if you leave,
you are breaking the law,
57
00:02:56,034 --> 00:03:00,370
and you'll end up in prison
unless you sign this contract.
58
00:03:02,823 --> 00:03:04,892
[wheezing]
59
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:08,758
Oh, no. My husband is having
a severe allergic reaction.
60
00:03:08,781 --> 00:03:12,017
He needs to get
to the hospital immediately!
61
00:03:12,076 --> 00:03:14,578
[grunting]
62
00:03:19,697 --> 00:03:21,365
Another free breakfast,
63
00:03:21,428 --> 00:03:23,630
and all I had
to do was risk death.
64
00:03:23,657 --> 00:03:24,991
[laughs] Ow.
65
00:03:24,989 --> 00:03:29,293
Homer, I see you eyeing
this delicious croquembouche.
66
00:03:29,316 --> 00:03:32,051
85 choux puffs.
67
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,314
You think
I would sign a lifetime contract
68
00:03:34,341 --> 00:03:36,510
for a stupid dessert?
[laughs]
69
00:03:36,538 --> 00:03:37,873
Never again.
70
00:03:37,902 --> 00:03:39,771
Not after Spectrum cable.
71
00:03:39,768 --> 00:03:42,201
[majestic
instrumental music plays]
72
00:03:42,195 --> 00:03:44,298
My friend, this is America.
73
00:03:44,326 --> 00:03:46,928
Just because you can't possibly
afford something
74
00:03:46,988 --> 00:03:48,824
doesn't mean
that you can't buy it.
75
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:53,289
Luxury vacations are not just
for the rich and the famous.
76
00:03:53,279 --> 00:03:55,981
They're for average schlubs
like you.
77
00:03:55,975 --> 00:03:58,343
-Like me?
-Of course!
78
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:02,075
Homer, what is more important:
to feel rich or to be rich?
79
00:04:02,099 --> 00:04:03,833
To be rich!
80
00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:04,963
Guess again.
81
00:04:04,961 --> 00:04:06,797
To feel rich!
82
00:04:06,826 --> 00:04:08,594
Exactly. Now sign.
83
00:04:08,622 --> 00:04:12,493
Or don't and commit your family
to the worst life of all:
84
00:04:12,516 --> 00:04:15,418
one with nothing
to look forward to.
85
00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:19,910
♪
86
00:04:19,939 --> 00:04:21,507
[Marge mouthing]
87
00:04:21,536 --> 00:04:23,204
Oh.
88
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,666
You get a free boombox.
89
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:26,499
-Done!
-Oh!
90
00:04:28,359 --> 00:04:30,093
Huh?
91
00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:33,857
But when can we use
the timeshare?
92
00:04:33,883 --> 00:04:36,386
[chuckles]
The answer to that is...
93
00:04:36,413 --> 00:04:40,184
♪ Waiting is the hardest part ♪
94
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,177
♪ Every day,
you see one more... ♪
95
00:04:43,237 --> 00:04:45,138
[gasps]
The croquembouche!
96
00:04:45,166 --> 00:04:47,436
Homer, you were right.
97
00:04:47,463 --> 00:04:49,231
I can't believe it.
98
00:04:49,227 --> 00:04:51,127
The monthly fees,
the maintenance fees,
99
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,458
the fee-calculating fees.
100
00:04:53,453 --> 00:04:55,588
All worth it!
101
00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:56,850
[dogs growling]
102
00:04:56,848 --> 00:04:59,885
Welcome, Mr. Burns.
Mr. Smithers.
103
00:04:59,944 --> 00:05:01,645
Who's a good boy?
104
00:05:01,674 --> 00:05:03,176
[growling]
105
00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:05,607
Heel, heel! Stop biting my heel!
106
00:05:05,602 --> 00:05:08,771
These dogs have been working
hard and need a vacation.
107
00:05:08,764 --> 00:05:10,331
They need
to be pampered, pedicured
108
00:05:10,328 --> 00:05:12,564
and anally expressed
twice a day.
109
00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:14,026
Relax the hounds!
110
00:05:14,055 --> 00:05:17,525
Yes, sir. Excuse me.
111
00:05:20,345 --> 00:05:22,615
Everything here is
for guests only,
112
00:05:22,643 --> 00:05:24,611
including the view.
113
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,107
[groans softly]
114
00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:29,668
Howdy.
115
00:05:29,731 --> 00:05:31,165
You can't do this to us!
116
00:05:31,162 --> 00:05:32,998
We may not have much money,
117
00:05:33,026 --> 00:05:36,729
but we're rich in what counts
around here: points!
118
00:05:37,519 --> 00:05:39,821
Ah, yes, right.
Well, that timeshare company
119
00:05:39,849 --> 00:05:41,851
no longer owns this property.
120
00:05:41,879 --> 00:05:45,149
But as a courtesy,
we do honor those points.
121
00:05:45,207 --> 00:05:47,275
[Marge and Homer gasp loudly]
122
00:05:48,103 --> 00:05:50,305
I'll see you at checkout.
123
00:05:52,164 --> 00:05:53,531
Mm.
124
00:06:00,951 --> 00:06:05,821
This is going to be the most
wonderful week of our lives.
125
00:06:05,809 --> 00:06:07,277
[loud knocking]
126
00:06:07,306 --> 00:06:10,109
Checkout time.
Back away from the minibar.
127
00:06:15,161 --> 00:06:17,864
Uh, excuse me.
May I remind you
128
00:06:17,891 --> 00:06:22,129
we have accumulated
450 million points.
129
00:06:22,151 --> 00:06:24,920
Which equals 20 minutes.
Your stay is over.
130
00:06:24,980 --> 00:06:28,350
This room now belongs
to Dr. and Mrs. Hibbert.
131
00:06:30,472 --> 00:06:31,973
[Marge groans softly]
132
00:06:34,098 --> 00:06:36,100
Oh, you think you've won, eh?
133
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:39,433
We are taking the free shampoo!
134
00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:41,727
[grunting]
135
00:06:41,788 --> 00:06:43,354
Stupid shampoo!
136
00:06:43,351 --> 00:06:47,989
Why is everything
I want to steal bolted down?!
137
00:06:48,943 --> 00:06:52,780
Check... mate.
[scoffs]
138
00:06:53,902 --> 00:06:56,203
We requested a sober room.
No minibar.
139
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,701
My wife has gone a whole year
without a drink.
140
00:06:58,761 --> 00:07:00,497
Oh, thank you, Julius.
141
00:07:00,525 --> 00:07:02,093
Please tell everybody.
142
00:07:02,156 --> 00:07:04,158
I won't mention
how you have your nurse
143
00:07:04,154 --> 00:07:06,387
finish your operations
so you can go play golf.
144
00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:07,951
Oops.
145
00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:09,216
[laughs]
146
00:07:09,245 --> 00:07:10,813
[grumbles]
Woman.
147
00:07:14,737 --> 00:07:16,238
Don't worry about me.
148
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,438
I know how to cope
perfectly well without drinking.
149
00:07:19,463 --> 00:07:22,065
I'm so glad I married a doctor.
150
00:07:23,057 --> 00:07:24,107
[Marge groans]
151
00:07:25,721 --> 00:07:27,555
Welcome to the Yellow Lotus.
152
00:07:27,584 --> 00:07:29,953
I'm Shauna.
You're Tasha.
153
00:07:29,981 --> 00:07:33,283
Yes, I know my name. Usually.
154
00:07:33,308 --> 00:07:35,710
I also ordered
a welcome massage.
155
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,706
Not Swedish, shiatsu.
156
00:07:37,702 --> 00:07:39,902
Also, it hurts when I smile.
157
00:07:39,898 --> 00:07:41,833
Can you help?
158
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,198
I love the Yellow Lotus resorts.
159
00:07:44,259 --> 00:07:46,094
So many beautiful bodies.
160
00:07:46,122 --> 00:07:47,624
Especially the dead ones.
161
00:07:47,654 --> 00:07:50,890
Whatever... I can do to help,
let me know.
162
00:07:50,915 --> 00:07:54,518
I have three connecting
diamond lotus suites.
163
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,212
One for me, one for my husband
164
00:07:57,239 --> 00:07:59,208
and one for my luggage.
165
00:07:59,236 --> 00:08:00,737
[boat horn blowing]
166
00:08:00,767 --> 00:08:03,902
That woman's luggage
gets a room, but we don't?!
167
00:08:03,895 --> 00:08:06,230
Is this why
we defeated the Nazi zombies
168
00:08:06,225 --> 00:08:08,127
in Call of Duty: World at War?
169
00:08:08,123 --> 00:08:10,623
We could sneak into
the rich lady's luggage room,
170
00:08:10,618 --> 00:08:12,187
and stay there for a week.
171
00:08:12,216 --> 00:08:14,184
But Mom would never...
172
00:08:14,213 --> 00:08:15,981
We are doing that!
173
00:08:16,009 --> 00:08:19,179
Oh, I love it
when you break bad.
174
00:08:19,205 --> 00:08:20,973
Hey, how'd you get the key, boy?
175
00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:23,938
The real question is not
how did I get a key,
176
00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:28,035
but how did I get a machine
that makes keys?
177
00:08:28,057 --> 00:08:29,392
He's got you there, Marge.
178
00:08:29,422 --> 00:08:31,156
I didn't ask anything.
179
00:08:31,153 --> 00:08:34,123
[excited chatter, laughter]
180
00:08:34,148 --> 00:08:35,450
[Bart]
Higher! Higher!
181
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:36,714
Ow! Too high!
182
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:38,313
[quietly]
Marge, come here.
183
00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:39,809
I have to show you something
184
00:08:39,807 --> 00:08:42,443
that I never dreamed
was possible.
185
00:08:42,502 --> 00:08:45,039
There's a TV in the mirror.
186
00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:50,637
It's always been my dream
to watch me watching TV.
187
00:08:50,690 --> 00:08:51,757
Wow!
188
00:08:51,787 --> 00:08:55,125
She's got to be
the happiest woman in the world.
189
00:08:55,184 --> 00:08:57,719
[Tasha]
Oh. You're always leaving me!
190
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,715
Where are you going now?
Another secret phone call?
191
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,711
[Sideshow Bob]
She suspects nothing.
192
00:09:02,739 --> 00:09:05,975
She won't know until the minute
my hands are around her neck.
193
00:09:06,033 --> 00:09:08,502
[laughing]
194
00:09:13,555 --> 00:09:15,790
♪
195
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:21,550
We have to warn that poor woman
she's in danger!
196
00:09:21,576 --> 00:09:23,411
But we're on vacation.
197
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,976
And Bob's only
an attempted murderer.
198
00:09:26,003 --> 00:09:27,437
Attempted.
199
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,702
My ears are burning.
200
00:09:31,227 --> 00:09:33,030
[all]
Sideshow Bob!
201
00:09:33,092 --> 00:09:35,828
Hello, Simpsons. Bart.
202
00:09:35,854 --> 00:09:38,023
Don't "Bart" me, man.
203
00:09:38,084 --> 00:09:39,952
What's your evil plan this time?
204
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,883
I might ask the same of you.
205
00:09:41,879 --> 00:09:43,912
I believe you
and your sticky-fingered family
206
00:09:43,908 --> 00:09:48,346
are squatting in a luxury suite
meant for my wife's luggage.
207
00:09:48,368 --> 00:09:51,204
How do we know
you're not just after her money?
208
00:09:51,230 --> 00:09:53,199
Now, Marge, that hurts.
209
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,528
I have my own fortune.
210
00:09:54,526 --> 00:09:56,793
I invented a rake
with a collapsible handle.
211
00:09:56,788 --> 00:09:58,856
No more head bonks.
212
00:09:58,918 --> 00:10:01,688
[grunts, laughs, grumbles]
213
00:10:01,715 --> 00:10:03,883
Now, let's see
what your options are.
214
00:10:03,911 --> 00:10:05,946
A: You expose my past to my wife
215
00:10:05,942 --> 00:10:07,842
while I get you arrested
for trespassing.
216
00:10:07,838 --> 00:10:11,908
B: Everyone keeps quiet,
and we all enjoy...
217
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:15,799
[Bart]
Who am I to judge you, Bob?
218
00:10:15,859 --> 00:10:17,994
Okay. Fine. One week.
219
00:10:18,023 --> 00:10:20,159
But if your wife turns up dead,
220
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,387
even once,
221
00:10:21,417 --> 00:10:23,052
we're calling the cops.
222
00:10:23,115 --> 00:10:26,252
[Tasha]
Bob, who are you talking to?
223
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:27,645
Ah, my pet. [chuckles]
224
00:10:27,642 --> 00:10:29,442
I was just doing vocalizations
in the other room
225
00:10:29,439 --> 00:10:31,107
so I wouldn't disturb you.
226
00:10:31,103 --> 00:10:32,435
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
227
00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:33,935
Oost, ohst, ost, est, east.
228
00:10:33,932 --> 00:10:35,499
Badagaga, badagaga,
badagaga, badagaga.
229
00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:37,531
♪ La-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la, la. ♪
230
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:40,062
Well, I guess
we're trusting the psychopath.
231
00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:41,924
Sociopath.
232
00:10:41,952 --> 00:10:43,321
Two distinct diagnoses.
233
00:10:43,350 --> 00:10:46,052
With a slight touch of...
234
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,281
the narcissist.
235
00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:52,307
[groaning]
236
00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:53,905
[laughing]
237
00:10:53,902 --> 00:10:54,934
[Tasha]
Hello.
238
00:10:54,932 --> 00:10:56,067
Oh!
[chuckles]
239
00:10:56,065 --> 00:10:58,233
[stammering]
Hi.
240
00:10:58,294 --> 00:11:00,295
I see you're reading Barbra.
241
00:11:00,324 --> 00:11:02,759
Yeah. After I put it
in my suitcase,
242
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,223
I had no room for anything else.
243
00:11:06,581 --> 00:11:08,116
I've got the audiobook.
244
00:11:08,146 --> 00:11:10,248
I had to delete
all the photos on my phone
245
00:11:10,276 --> 00:11:11,978
so I'd have enough memory.
246
00:11:12,007 --> 00:11:14,643
Who needs my memories
when I have Barbra's?
247
00:11:14,702 --> 00:11:16,204
Let's listen together.
248
00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:21,631
-[Lisa] You're it! [laughing]
-[Bart laughing]
249
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:24,357
[gasps]
250
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:29,490
Kids! [quietly] We're trying
to be inconspicuous.
251
00:11:29,546 --> 00:11:30,680
No problem!
252
00:11:30,678 --> 00:11:31,711
[quietly]
Marco.
253
00:11:31,710 --> 00:11:32,710
[whispers]
Polo.
254
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,709
-Marc-
-Polo!
255
00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:39,135
You don't belong here.
256
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,500
[gasps]
257
00:11:40,529 --> 00:11:42,364
This is an adults-only pool.
258
00:11:42,427 --> 00:11:44,795
The hotel will take these kids
off your hands
259
00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:46,524
for the rest of your trip, sir.
260
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,489
Oh! It's about time.
261
00:11:48,517 --> 00:11:50,419
Thank you!
262
00:11:50,481 --> 00:11:52,082
Polo! [whoops]
263
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,612
-Ah! Jerk!
-[others exclaim]
264
00:11:53,609 --> 00:11:55,244
♪
265
00:11:59,234 --> 00:12:00,368
[gulps]
266
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,866
Excuse me.
I don't mean to bother,
267
00:12:03,894 --> 00:12:06,530
but can I please get
a vegan option?
268
00:12:06,589 --> 00:12:08,124
What the hell are you doing?
269
00:12:08,153 --> 00:12:11,023
I mean saying "excuse me"
and "please."
270
00:12:11,049 --> 00:12:12,818
Rich kids talk like that.
271
00:12:12,846 --> 00:12:14,214
Hello?
272
00:12:14,245 --> 00:12:16,847
Do I have to color in
this drawing myself?
273
00:12:16,873 --> 00:12:19,676
Inside the lines, dum-dum!
274
00:12:19,702 --> 00:12:21,471
You'll never blend in, Lis.
275
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,934
[exhales]
276
00:12:22,964 --> 00:12:24,800
You call these crudités?
277
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,663
I want farm-to-table.
278
00:12:26,692 --> 00:12:28,893
[attendant gasps]
279
00:12:30,919 --> 00:12:32,587
Isn't it grand?
280
00:12:32,616 --> 00:12:37,654
Our kids are getting spoiled
in a way we could never afford.
281
00:12:37,675 --> 00:12:39,777
Have you noticed something,
Homer?
282
00:12:39,805 --> 00:12:42,407
We're the only happy people
here.
283
00:12:42,401 --> 00:12:46,638
♪
284
00:12:46,629 --> 00:12:48,964
[slurping]
285
00:12:50,755 --> 00:12:53,023
Wow. Well, these rich jerks
286
00:12:53,019 --> 00:12:55,321
may not appreciate
how good they have it,
287
00:12:55,348 --> 00:12:56,717
but we do.
288
00:12:56,746 --> 00:12:59,181
And we're gonna have it all.
289
00:13:00,307 --> 00:13:03,343
Do you have a masseur
for the plus-sized man?
290
00:13:04,335 --> 00:13:06,703
Oh, baby.
291
00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:07,731
I'd like
292
00:13:07,729 --> 00:13:09,431
a full-body sage scrub,
293
00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:11,162
seaweed foot mask,
294
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,458
pumpkin face mask,
295
00:13:12,488 --> 00:13:14,723
cedar oil hair mask
296
00:13:14,751 --> 00:13:17,052
and toxin release mud bath.
297
00:13:17,048 --> 00:13:18,583
Ditto.
298
00:13:18,613 --> 00:13:21,248
[sighs, moans]
299
00:13:25,801 --> 00:13:27,236
[Lindsey]
We're clear.
300
00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:28,434
[sighs]
301
00:13:28,497 --> 00:13:30,767
Finally, I can relax.
302
00:13:30,794 --> 00:13:34,098
[fortune teller]
Somebody here is going to die.
303
00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:35,122
Gah!
304
00:13:35,121 --> 00:13:36,756
Who will it be?
305
00:13:36,785 --> 00:13:38,620
The Poisoned Queen?
306
00:13:38,649 --> 00:13:41,752
-The Suffering Toady?
-Mm.
307
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:45,380
Or is it the Hanged Bride?
308
00:13:45,372 --> 00:13:46,505
[gasps]
309
00:13:46,503 --> 00:13:47,970
Beware.
310
00:13:47,967 --> 00:13:48,900
Beware?
311
00:13:48,899 --> 00:13:51,135
Is it
"existential crisis" beware?
312
00:13:51,162 --> 00:13:54,064
Or is it beware
like the egg salad's gone bad?
313
00:13:54,058 --> 00:13:55,092
Oh, don't worry.
314
00:13:55,090 --> 00:13:58,859
These hotel fortune tellers
are always fakes.
315
00:13:58,851 --> 00:14:01,220
Mama, we need you
in the kitchen, eh?
316
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:04,416
Just as I predicted.
317
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,476
[sighs]
Oh.
318
00:14:05,474 --> 00:14:08,143
There's something
I'm afraid I have to tell you.
319
00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:09,471
Something bad.
320
00:14:09,535 --> 00:14:11,871
Sounds like I'm gonna need
a macaron.
321
00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:14,132
Better take the whole plate.
322
00:14:15,091 --> 00:14:19,130
I think you may be married
to a murderous psychopath.
323
00:14:19,153 --> 00:14:20,387
Sociopath.
324
00:14:20,417 --> 00:14:21,652
[spits]
What?
325
00:14:21,683 --> 00:14:23,317
That's crazy.
326
00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:25,381
Bob married my sister
for her money,
327
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:27,879
and she has way less than you.
328
00:14:27,906 --> 00:14:30,675
Well, I've got
an ironclad prenup.
329
00:14:30,735 --> 00:14:32,103
If we get divorced,
330
00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:33,534
Bob gets no money.
331
00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:34,765
Unless I'm murdered.
332
00:14:34,795 --> 00:14:37,197
But he told me
that's just boilerplate.
333
00:14:37,225 --> 00:14:38,326
[playing piano]
334
00:14:38,356 --> 00:14:39,992
♪ Killing her softly ♪
335
00:14:40,054 --> 00:14:42,724
♪ With my words ♪
336
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:46,921
♪ Ending her whole life
with my knife ♪
337
00:14:46,977 --> 00:14:51,448
♪ Choking her softly
with rope... ♪
338
00:14:51,469 --> 00:14:52,971
And now for my next request,
339
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,650
I'd like to ask security
to take out two trespassers
340
00:14:55,696 --> 00:14:59,566
who, not coincidentally,
went back on their word to me.
341
00:14:59,558 --> 00:15:01,727
Uh, you're still here?!
342
00:15:01,754 --> 00:15:02,989
Security!
343
00:15:03,019 --> 00:15:04,420
♪
344
00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:05,883
[Homer and Marge gasp]
345
00:15:05,881 --> 00:15:07,483
[grunts]
346
00:15:12,804 --> 00:15:16,007
[exclaims] Throw spaghetti sauce
in my eyes!
347
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:17,233
[grunts]
348
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,966
That's-a better.
349
00:15:18,994 --> 00:15:21,863
♪
350
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,349
Oh, there she is again.
351
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:31,379
Doesn't a hotel manager
have better things to do?
352
00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:32,375
[both gasp]
353
00:15:32,373 --> 00:15:34,209
I have to protect the brand!
354
00:15:34,238 --> 00:15:36,040
The brand!
355
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:38,670
Marge, do what I do.
356
00:15:42,892 --> 00:15:46,929
Damn it, Bernice. Do you want to
leave this resort in a body bag?
357
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,320
The only hard part
will be getting her
358
00:15:49,314 --> 00:15:51,483
to the top of the cliff.
359
00:15:51,479 --> 00:15:54,013
If the hounds
don't taste blood soon,
360
00:15:54,008 --> 00:15:55,410
I fear they'll go mad.
361
00:15:55,439 --> 00:15:57,573
[growling, barking]
362
00:15:57,569 --> 00:15:59,604
This resort is filled
with psychos,
363
00:15:59,665 --> 00:16:02,301
murderers and mild neurotics!
364
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:03,562
Oy, my leg hurts...
365
00:16:03,559 --> 00:16:05,227
[grunts]
whenever there's fog.
366
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:07,158
[gasps]
Oh, my God, Marge.
367
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:09,356
It's the worst one of all!
368
00:16:09,384 --> 00:16:11,953
Who here has ever wanted
to take a vacation
369
00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:14,081
and earn money at the same time?
370
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:15,578
[both scream]
371
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,661
[humming]
372
00:16:29,952 --> 00:16:32,321
You sold us
a worthless timeshare!
373
00:16:32,316 --> 00:16:34,349
Uh, you're gonna have
to narrow that down.
374
00:16:34,345 --> 00:16:36,581
You remember this? Huh?
375
00:16:36,577 --> 00:16:39,578
Lady, do you know how many
pregnant women I have defrauded?
376
00:16:39,571 --> 00:16:42,073
That baby is now ten years old.
377
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:44,603
Oh, yeah.
I'll never forget that ass.
378
00:16:44,662 --> 00:16:47,666
You guys must have accumulated
a hell of a lot of debt.
379
00:16:47,691 --> 00:16:50,394
Look, I'm not in that business
anymore, okay?
380
00:16:50,421 --> 00:16:53,191
Now I get people out
of timeshare scams.
381
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:55,150
Is that also a scam?
382
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:56,982
Yeah. Much more profitable.
383
00:16:57,044 --> 00:17:00,047
I'm going to do something now
I should have done back then.
384
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,241
[grunts]
385
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,272
Hey, I need that for evil!
386
00:17:03,268 --> 00:17:06,870
You have some very bad karma,
mister.
387
00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:09,130
Ooh, ooh, I have bad karma.
388
00:17:09,125 --> 00:17:11,094
Oh, I'm so scared!
389
00:17:11,090 --> 00:17:12,022
[grunting]
390
00:17:12,021 --> 00:17:15,324
Oh, please don't hurt me,
Hindu gods!
391
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:16,784
[laughing]
392
00:17:16,814 --> 00:17:18,449
Don't be a smart aleck.
393
00:17:18,477 --> 00:17:21,848
When you do something bad,
it always catches up with you.
394
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:23,308
Gotcha! Moochers!
395
00:17:23,337 --> 00:17:25,472
-Moochers?
-They're despicable.
396
00:17:25,501 --> 00:17:28,904
I've been watching
you all be miserable in paradise
397
00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:30,897
and take everything for granted.
398
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:32,760
So you may be wealthier,
399
00:17:32,789 --> 00:17:35,092
but we're rich in what counts.
400
00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:38,289
-Points?
-The ability to go on vacation
401
00:17:38,314 --> 00:17:41,884
and have fun without plotting
to kill our loved ones!
402
00:17:41,909 --> 00:17:43,176
And now, lady,
403
00:17:43,207 --> 00:17:46,177
I'm going to take in the view!
404
00:17:46,202 --> 00:17:48,204
♪
405
00:17:54,955 --> 00:17:56,223
You know, Homie,
406
00:17:56,253 --> 00:17:58,289
the ferry doesn't come
for a while.
407
00:17:58,350 --> 00:18:01,052
-How 'bout one last swim?
-[chuckles]
408
00:18:05,306 --> 00:18:06,408
Mwah.
409
00:18:06,438 --> 00:18:09,174
♪
410
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:11,467
[groans]
411
00:18:13,061 --> 00:18:14,931
You've played me for a fool,
Bernice.
412
00:18:14,957 --> 00:18:16,058
But no more!
413
00:18:16,089 --> 00:18:18,491
There's only one way
to end this.
414
00:18:18,486 --> 00:18:19,519
[grunts]
415
00:18:19,518 --> 00:18:20,568
Oh, no!
416
00:18:23,346 --> 00:18:24,814
I love you, Bernice.
417
00:18:24,876 --> 00:18:27,166
And we're not coming down
until you're clean.
418
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,041
Also, not until I figure out
419
00:18:29,069 --> 00:18:31,472
how to get this balloon back
to land.
420
00:18:31,499 --> 00:18:33,201
[chuckling]
421
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,232
♪
422
00:18:36,591 --> 00:18:37,859
No! Stop!
423
00:18:37,890 --> 00:18:39,991
Nice Dobermans!
424
00:18:40,618 --> 00:18:42,153
[snarls]
425
00:18:42,182 --> 00:18:45,319
Thank God
I brought my spare bone.
426
00:18:45,345 --> 00:18:47,913
[poshly] D'oh!
427
00:18:49,339 --> 00:18:52,308
For you, my darling.
428
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,400
[gasps]
429
00:18:55,562 --> 00:18:56,829
Oh, wow.
430
00:18:56,827 --> 00:19:00,064
All the secret phone calls
were to arrange this?
431
00:19:00,089 --> 00:19:02,191
[chuckles]
Like all sociopaths,
432
00:19:02,218 --> 00:19:04,922
all I really needed
was the love of a good woman.
433
00:19:04,948 --> 00:19:06,582
And the proper medication.
434
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,781
Now all I want to do
is smother you
435
00:19:08,809 --> 00:19:10,244
with kisses
436
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,673
and set you ablaze
437
00:19:11,670 --> 00:19:13,106
with passion.
438
00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:14,186
[moaning]
439
00:19:14,234 --> 00:19:15,368
Mwah!
440
00:19:15,399 --> 00:19:16,766
Well, I'll be.
441
00:19:16,796 --> 00:19:19,632
He's as great a husband as I am.
442
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,561
Now, my dear, may I serenade you
443
00:19:21,623 --> 00:19:24,158
with the divine
Gilbert and Sullivan?
444
00:19:24,186 --> 00:19:26,855
♪ A wandering minstrel I ♪
445
00:19:26,881 --> 00:19:30,718
♪ A thing of shreds
and patches ♪
446
00:19:30,741 --> 00:19:33,444
♪ Of ballads, songs
and snatches ♪
447
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:34,470
Wha-
448
00:19:34,469 --> 00:19:36,105
Tasha, why?
449
00:19:36,101 --> 00:19:38,835
-I'm a fast-cycling
manic-depressive! -[groaning]
450
00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:41,364
Oh, no, Bob! What have I done?
451
00:19:41,425 --> 00:19:43,427
[groaning]
452
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,620
-Bob.
-Mel.
453
00:19:48,681 --> 00:19:49,815
My best to Krusty.
454
00:19:49,846 --> 00:19:51,882
The three of us
should have lunch.
455
00:19:51,877 --> 00:19:52,942
Yes, but not this week.
456
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,075
I'm doing a cleanse.
457
00:19:54,106 --> 00:19:57,477
Ah. Your colon will thank you.
458
00:19:57,534 --> 00:20:00,370
So I guess everyone's fine!
459
00:20:01,395 --> 00:20:04,297
Except for the body.
460
00:20:04,357 --> 00:20:07,093
♪
461
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,121
[gasps]
A shark.
462
00:20:11,179 --> 00:20:14,248
Oh, it's just an adorable
little otter.
463
00:20:14,242 --> 00:20:15,776
[hisses]
464
00:20:15,773 --> 00:20:18,476
Oh!
[yelling]
465
00:20:18,502 --> 00:20:20,704
♪
466
00:20:22,628 --> 00:20:25,498
Timeshare salesman
turned retired scoundrel
467
00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:27,126
Nick Callahan is dead,
468
00:20:27,155 --> 00:20:31,026
leaving behind a fortune
valued at 80 billion points.
469
00:20:31,050 --> 00:20:32,551
In "otter" news...
470
00:20:32,581 --> 00:20:34,149
My chai!
471
00:20:34,178 --> 00:20:36,179
♪
472
00:20:46,026 --> 00:20:47,894
[woman vocalizing]
473
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:56,188
♪ Once again, we've seen
rich people act despicably ♪
474
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:59,781
♪ And feel better
about ourselves ♪
475
00:20:59,805 --> 00:21:03,808
♪ Like Fantasy Island
and Glass Onion ♪
476
00:21:03,799 --> 00:21:06,802
♪ And even Lord of the Flies. ♪
477
00:21:06,852 --> 00:21:11,402
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