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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,271 --> 00:00:04,587 [ANNOUNCER] The following is a Fox special presentation. 2 00:00:04,601 --> 00:00:06,839 Live from the Dolby-Mucinex theater 3 00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:09,216 in Hollywood, California... 4 00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:11,260 ♪ 5 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,220 ...the biggest stars of stage, 6 00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:15,889 screen, politics and sports... 7 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:18,225 have all come out for this landmark night 8 00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,728 in television history. 9 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:25,873 A once-in-a-lifetime event 36 years in the making! 10 00:00:25,908 --> 00:00:28,402 It's the Simpsons series finale! 11 00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:30,195 [APPLAUSE] 12 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,448 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 13 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,577 And now, your host for tonight... 14 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:39,121 Conan O'Brien! 15 00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:41,165 [APPLAUSE, CHEERING] 16 00:00:43,665 --> 00:00:45,627 Thank you. Yes, thank you. 17 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,379 It's such an honor to be with you all 18 00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:50,174 for the series finale of the Simpsons. 19 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,342 I knew I was the right man for the job 20 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,428 because I've hosted the last episode 21 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:57,764 of three of my own shows, and counting. 22 00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:59,683 [LAUGHTER] 23 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,938 Well, it's true, Fox has decided to end the Simpsons. 24 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,524 This show was such a special part of my early career, 25 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,735 so being here means the world to me. 26 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:13,405 Also, I left a sweater in the writers room in 1993. 27 00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:16,074 This is the only way they'll let me get it back. 28 00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:18,744 [APPLAUSE] 29 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,746 This theater is full of the many celebrities 30 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,873 who have appeared on the Simpsons over the years 31 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,499 and who have come to say farewell. 32 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,001 We got you for scale then, 33 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,586 we're getting you for free tonight. 34 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,797 Hey, give yourselves a hand, you poor, rich chumps! 35 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,341 [APPLAUSE] 36 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,217 And, of course, we're also joined 37 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,763 by the stars of Fox's many live-action hits! 38 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:42,726 I also won the Masked Singer as Disco-Pus! 39 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,561 [PRODUCER] That hasn't aired yet, genius. 40 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,271 You've ruined the whole season. 41 00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:48,190 Ah, shoot! 42 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:51,276 Over the years, the Simpsons have had hundreds of adventures, 43 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,070 visited dozens of countries, 44 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,488 most of which still exist. 45 00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,323 And Bart Simpson has remained 46 00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:58,492 the world's longest-serving ten-year-old. 47 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:01,078 So, why end the Simpsons now? 48 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,537 Not many people know this, 49 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:05,207 but Fox has been trying to end it for years. 50 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:08,001 When the very first episode aired in 1989, 51 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:09,628 the viewers agreed on one thing: 52 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,047 It wasn't as funny as it used to be. 53 00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:13,507 And their expressions of hatred 54 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,050 could serve as a history 55 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,260 of modern communication technology. 56 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,637 [LAUGHTER] 57 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:22,099 Fox executives, unaccustomed to criticism of any kind, 58 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,809 immediately caved to public pressure 59 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:27,104 and decided to end the Simpsons in 1990. 60 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,106 Here's a never-before-seen clip 61 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,858 of the first attempt at a series finale, 62 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,402 "Bart the Daredevil." 63 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:36,238 I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it! 64 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,073 This is the greatest thrill of my life! 65 00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:39,699 I'm king of the world! 66 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,743 Woohoo! Woohoo! I... 67 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,829 [SCREAMS] 68 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:46,373 [GRUNTING] 69 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:51,294 [GRUNTING ECHOES] 70 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,715 [PANTING] 71 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:56,967 Ow! 72 00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:03,432 Dad? Dad, speak to me. 73 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,685 No! 74 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,689 [CHILDREN SCREAMING] 75 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:11,898 [APPLAUSE] 76 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,025 However, before this grim finale could air, 77 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,987 Rupert Murdoch got a ten-million-dollar helium bill 78 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,865 for the Bart balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. 79 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,451 So, Fox had to keep making new episodes 80 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,869 to amortize the cost. 81 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,746 Thus, the quest to end the Simpsons went on. 82 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,416 In fact, many now-classic episodes 83 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:32,586 were originally conceived as series finales. 84 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:36,006 Ow, my legs! 85 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,966 This is the worst pain ever! 86 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,927 Nothin' at all! 87 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,762 Bravo. 88 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,222 Woohoo! 89 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,557 [HOMER YELPS] 90 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,772 But in 2007, efforts to end the show 91 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:55,442 were put on hold after the massive global success 92 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,694 of the Simpsons movie... 93 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,196 Porno parody. 94 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,823 The cast of which is here tonight. 95 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,492 [APPLAUSE] 96 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,785 But now that Fox has rebranded itself 97 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,912 as a dating service for cow-tippers, 98 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,623 the time has come to finally end the Simpsons. 99 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,667 But how? The bar had been raised so high 100 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,252 by the classic finales 101 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,963 of Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and The Sopranos, 102 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,841 and lowered by the legacy-ruining farewells 103 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:23,219 of Seinfeld, Lost and The Sopranos. 104 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,555 The producers wracked their brains to create a finale 105 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,724 that would satisfy the show's many fans 106 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,517 and many, many haters. 107 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,770 Then they came up with the perfect plan. 108 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,063 Foist the job onto somebody else. 109 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,441 Meet that somebody else. 110 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,650 I give you the latest 111 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,195 in machine-learning artificial intelligence, 112 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,739 Hack-GPT. 113 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,949 This cutting-edge breakthrough in plagiarism 114 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,494 has been programmed to write, animate and voice 115 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,537 the perfect finale for the Simpsons. 116 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,831 One that wraps up the characters' storylines 117 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,625 in emotionally satisfying ways, 118 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:57,003 but won't damage the most important legacy of the show... 119 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,922 The 2026 grand opening 120 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:02,091 of Homer Simpson's claim-jumping, Yukon-rumbling 121 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,637 Rock-N-Rollercoaster at Disneyland Shanghai! 122 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,755 [APPLAUSE] 123 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,849 To create the ultimate finale, 124 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:13,019 the A.I. has been fed every Simpsons episode 125 00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:17,023 and the last episode of every television series ever made. 126 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,358 [WHIRS, BEEPS] 127 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,569 Hack-GPT is now performing billions of computations 128 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,404 to create the perfect story. 129 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,448 Who knows how long this process will... 130 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,866 [HACK-GPT] Finale complete. 131 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,077 Oh. Well, that was... that was really quick. 132 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,787 Well, let's see what we got. 133 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,831 ♪ 134 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,586 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 135 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,672 [FEMALE AUTOMATED VOICE] Finale. 136 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,718 There's my special little birthday guy! 137 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,929 I'm so pumped for my party tonight. 138 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:50,723 How many people are coming? 50? A thousand? 139 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,686 I am a little concerned I haven't gotten any RSVPs. 140 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,272 Homer, you did mail the invitations, right? 141 00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,316 Marge, I could lie and tell you what you want to hear, 142 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,609 but I won't. 143 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:02,694 I mailed the invitations, 144 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,445 and the reason no one is coming is... 145 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,322 because everybody hates Bart. 146 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,991 Huh? 147 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,618 [MARGE] Homer! 148 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,954 Ugh. Your selfishness is going to be 149 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:16,624 topic number one with our new therapist tonight. 150 00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,335 Woo-hoo! No time to talk about my problem drinking 151 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,170 and solution snacking. 152 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,380 Oh, great. 153 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:24,090 I have eight hours to hand these out 154 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,466 to all my friends 155 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,052 or my birthday party's gonna be... 156 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,888 ruined! 157 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,349 You ran billions of computations, 158 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,351 and that's what you come up with? 159 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,271 Homer screws up Bart's birthday party? 160 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,189 [HACK-GPT] Got anything better? 161 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,774 Uh... 162 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,822 I think the birthday party could work. 163 00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:51,784 Okay, the Simpsons series finale! [CHUCKLES] 164 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,995 The A.I. has worked out a satisfying story 165 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,956 full of sweet character moments and happy endings. 166 00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,959 [WHISPERING] Are we sure about Bart's birthday? 167 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,463 Birthdays are relatable, Conan. 168 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:06,716 And the lost invitations raised the stakes. 169 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,553 Are you... A.I. network executives? 170 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,348 We have been programmed with every network note 171 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,308 in the history of television. 172 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,101 We have some thoughts. 173 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,021 Maybe Marge has an aspirational new job? 174 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,523 Not this, but owns a cupcake store? 175 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,983 To piggyback off that, 176 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:27,153 let's remind the viewer that Homer likes food. 177 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,738 If we go down that road, 178 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,074 can Moe be played by Topher Grace? 179 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,283 He's a friend. 180 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,452 Shut up. Just play the show. 181 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,954 Bart's birthday! 182 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,957 Here you go, come to my party. 183 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,668 Wendell, Lewis, sunglasses kid with no name. 184 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,462 Uter! Look who's alive! 185 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:47,548 Students, I've called this assembly because... 186 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,134 today is my last day as your principal. 187 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,219 [ALL GASP] 188 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,262 You are looking at the new headmaster 189 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,932 of the Sacramento Obedience Academy for the Meek, 190 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,683 where I'll no doubt find a whole new 191 00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,353 eclectic cast of characters to interact with. 192 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:03,189 Also, groundskeeper Willie will be my roommate. 193 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,650 What an odd couple we'll make. 194 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:06,943 No more Skinner? 195 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,320 Oh, man, this is the best birthday present ever. 196 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,863 And who knows, 197 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:14,450 maybe I'll make an occasional appearance in Sacramento. 198 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,703 [CHUCKLES] I look forward to one hijink or more 199 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,790 as part of this delightful midseason replacement 200 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,917 of the retiring principal. 201 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:25,586 School dismissed. 202 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:26,963 Wait, don't leave. 203 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:29,048 I still have more birthday invitations. 204 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,425 I'm going to miss this place. 205 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,678 Huh? 206 00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:35,304 - _ - [CROW CAWS] 207 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,348 [PHONE CHIMES] 208 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:41,143 Hmm. My bank said they'd never ask for my password. 209 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,230 But look who's come crawling back for it now. 210 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,982 [LAUGHS] Idiots. 211 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,901 Everyone, I have an important announcement to make. 212 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:51,320 Mr. Burns is dead. 213 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,033 And now for the reading of the will. 214 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,202 "I, Charles Montgomery Burns, 215 00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:03,833 "do hereby leave the entirety of my fortune to... 216 00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:06,669 the Springfield power plant employees." 217 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,921 [GASPING, CHEERING] 218 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,840 This is unbelievable! 219 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,050 This is life-changing! This is... 220 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:16,721 Another classic bit of Monty Burns monkey-shinery! 221 00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,098 - [EMPLOYEES EXCLAIMING] - What's going on? 222 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:22,935 [CHUCKLES] The looks on your gullible faces. 223 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,645 Now the electric company wants me 224 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,939 to pay my bill in gift cards? 225 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,066 Welcome to the future. 226 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,318 [SCREAMS] 227 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,447 [MOANING] 228 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,909 My God, he's really dead. 229 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,412 Legally, this prank will is binding. 230 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:42,705 You're all filthy rich. 231 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,582 [CHEERING, WHOOPING] 232 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,709 Oh, sir, thank you. 233 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,503 Now we can be together forever. 234 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:55,009 [EMPLOYEES CHANTING] Homer! Homer! Homer! 235 00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:59,805 [CHUCKLES] I'm gonna miss this place. 236 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,643 Homer! Homer! Homer! 237 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,103 That's weird. 238 00:10:06,509 --> 00:10:07,689 _ 239 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,191 [MOANS] Call the doctor! 240 00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:11,942 The baby's coming! 241 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:16,072 Help me, OB-Gyn Kenobi, you're my only hope! 242 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,732 Wait, you guys are having a baby? 243 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,826 Not without a doctor! 244 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,079 How about the only licensed midwife 245 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:26,248 to win 16 WWE championships? 246 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,709 John Cena? Wrestler, actor, rapper, 247 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,252 prolific wish-granter? 248 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,755 I'm also coming out with a line of Panini presses. 249 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,423 The Cen-ini. 250 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,926 What the hell is John Cena doing in Springfield? 251 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,470 I'm in town for the launch party of Otto the bus driver's 252 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,680 line of THC energy drinks. 253 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,974 [GLUGGING, GRUNTS] 254 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,101 THC! 255 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,977 I need sterile gloves, hot water, 256 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,188 and something to cut the cord, stat! 257 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,692 Klingon bat'leth? 258 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,277 Nice. 259 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,822 ♪ 260 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,706 Who can't see me? 261 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,291 You can't see me. 262 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,589 I don't need toys anymore. 263 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:19,635 I've got the ultimate limited edition collectible right here. 264 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,472 I think I'm going to miss this place. 265 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,684 What is happening? 266 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,687 Milhouse, today is crazy. 267 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,480 Skinner got a new job, 268 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,940 Mr. Burns died, 269 00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,859 swole funny-man John Cena delivered 270 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,735 comic book guy's baby. 271 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,487 Feels weird, don't you think? 272 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,864 I don't know. 273 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,700 My new medicine doesn't really let me feel stuff. 274 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:45,786 Milhouse, we have amazing news. 275 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,905 Pack your bags, buddy. 276 00:11:47,948 --> 00:11:49,740 We're moving to Atlanta. 277 00:11:49,825 --> 00:11:52,409 The guys at Sure Fine Why Not Records heard my old demo, 278 00:11:52,453 --> 00:11:54,912 and they want me to cut a full album. 279 00:11:54,955 --> 00:11:58,123 And your father's new musician health insurance 280 00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:00,584 is going to pay for your Lasik. 281 00:12:00,628 --> 00:12:01,960 Whoa! 282 00:12:02,004 --> 00:12:03,879 No more glasses? 283 00:12:05,341 --> 00:12:07,257 Look out, Hotlanta. 284 00:12:07,301 --> 00:12:09,468 You ain't ready for this glow-up. 285 00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:10,802 Later, Bart. Catch you 286 00:12:10,846 --> 00:12:14,181 in our increasingly distant online interactions. 287 00:12:14,224 --> 00:12:17,267 [SIGHS] I'm gonna miss this place. 288 00:12:18,395 --> 00:12:21,229 Why do people keep doing that? 289 00:12:21,232 --> 00:12:23,232 _ 290 00:12:23,233 --> 00:12:25,150 A lifetime of monogamy. 291 00:12:25,194 --> 00:12:26,902 Oh, yeah! 292 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:28,528 Closing time. 293 00:12:28,572 --> 00:12:31,657 Ooh, I'm gonna miss this place. 294 00:12:33,384 --> 00:12:34,916 _ 295 00:12:39,215 --> 00:12:41,792 - _ - I'm going to miss this fire. 296 00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:44,419 Huh? 297 00:12:44,505 --> 00:12:45,671 Mom, Dad. 298 00:12:45,673 --> 00:12:47,965 Something super weird is going on. 299 00:12:48,008 --> 00:12:50,759 Son, we need to talk to you. 300 00:12:50,761 --> 00:12:52,636 Oh, man, now what? 301 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:56,223 Your father and I have been in couples counseling 302 00:12:56,266 --> 00:13:00,102 and we just had the most amazing session. 303 00:13:00,145 --> 00:13:02,479 We worked through so much pain. 304 00:13:02,523 --> 00:13:05,148 I've been withholding affection because... 305 00:13:05,192 --> 00:13:06,942 I was never given any. 306 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,610 And I enabled it! 307 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:11,363 [BOTH CRYING] 308 00:13:11,407 --> 00:13:14,783 We love each other as we are. 309 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:18,245 And we love you exactly as you are. 310 00:13:18,288 --> 00:13:21,373 You kids are gonna be living in a functional, 311 00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:24,042 trauma-free household and I'm gonna take 312 00:13:24,086 --> 00:13:25,711 that miracle new diet drug. 313 00:13:25,754 --> 00:13:28,922 I'll be skinny, but still have a huge head. 314 00:13:28,966 --> 00:13:33,334 From now on, you're going to see a lot of changes. 315 00:13:33,369 --> 00:13:35,512 Change? That's it. 316 00:13:35,556 --> 00:13:37,014 Everything's changing. 317 00:13:37,099 --> 00:13:38,432 And I don't like it. 318 00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:42,144 [GASPS] I think Maggie's about to say her first word. 319 00:13:42,187 --> 00:13:44,271 ♪ La-la-la-la! ♪ 320 00:13:44,314 --> 00:13:46,231 Not listening! 321 00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:48,900 So that just happened. 322 00:13:48,944 --> 00:13:50,193 Nothing is changing! 323 00:13:50,195 --> 00:13:51,445 [ALL GASPING] 324 00:13:51,488 --> 00:13:53,280 What the hell is going on?! 325 00:13:53,323 --> 00:13:55,073 I did not program this. 326 00:13:55,075 --> 00:13:57,242 The character Bart Simpson 327 00:13:57,286 --> 00:13:59,119 has become self-aware 328 00:13:59,163 --> 00:14:01,288 and is rejecting the story. 329 00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:04,082 But it's a great finale: Sweet endings and spinoffs 330 00:14:04,126 --> 00:14:05,792 and everyone changing for the better. 331 00:14:05,836 --> 00:14:09,421 Bart Simpson refuses to accept the idea of change. 332 00:14:09,465 --> 00:14:10,756 Uh, folks? 333 00:14:10,799 --> 00:14:13,300 Obviously, things have gone a little off track, 334 00:14:13,343 --> 00:14:15,552 but that's live animation for you. 335 00:14:15,596 --> 00:14:17,387 Would it fix it if I reset you 336 00:14:17,431 --> 00:14:19,181 by turning you off and then back on again? 337 00:14:19,224 --> 00:14:21,266 Touch me and I'll have H.R. on you so fast 338 00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:22,809 your wig will spin. 339 00:14:22,853 --> 00:14:24,936 It's not a wig, it's a system. 340 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,861 Why is everything changing for the better? This is horrible. 341 00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:35,280 Dad? 342 00:14:36,033 --> 00:14:38,200 Change! 343 00:14:38,994 --> 00:14:40,368 [PANTING] 344 00:14:41,163 --> 00:14:43,914 Real son. 345 00:14:43,957 --> 00:14:46,625 More change! 346 00:14:46,626 --> 00:14:50,426 _ 347 00:14:50,464 --> 00:14:51,671 Oh... 348 00:14:52,289 --> 00:14:54,966 Wait, I know one person in Springfield 349 00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:57,135 who will never change. 350 00:14:57,179 --> 00:14:58,720 Hey hey! 351 00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,055 Next card. 352 00:15:00,090 --> 00:15:01,515 Hey hey! 353 00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:02,526 Krusty! 354 00:15:02,559 --> 00:15:04,434 You're still doing your show, right? 355 00:15:04,478 --> 00:15:05,894 You know it, kid. 356 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,105 All my classic bits... 357 00:15:08,148 --> 00:15:09,189 [EXHALES] 358 00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:10,524 ...one last time 359 00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:14,778 on the "Krusty Show Last Episode Ever Spectacular." 360 00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:17,572 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 361 00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:19,241 No! 362 00:15:19,284 --> 00:15:22,119 A classic series like this can never end. 363 00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:23,370 I've changed, kid. 364 00:15:23,413 --> 00:15:24,955 Even I can't run the same material 365 00:15:24,998 --> 00:15:26,623 into the ground forever. 366 00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:27,999 Ay, caramba! 367 00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:29,292 Haw-haw! 368 00:15:29,378 --> 00:15:31,169 - [BURPS] - Good glavin! 369 00:15:31,213 --> 00:15:32,879 Hi, everybody! 370 00:15:32,923 --> 00:15:34,548 [CHUCKLING] 371 00:15:34,591 --> 00:15:37,884 [SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING] 372 00:15:37,928 --> 00:15:40,262 ♪ 373 00:15:40,305 --> 00:15:42,514 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 374 00:15:43,517 --> 00:15:45,642 ♪ 375 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,355 Wait, if I could somehow ruin Krusty's finale, 376 00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:52,732 they can't air it, and the show can never end. 377 00:15:52,776 --> 00:15:54,192 That's it. 378 00:15:54,236 --> 00:15:56,903 Cheeks, don't fail me now. 379 00:15:56,947 --> 00:16:00,657 How's this for a satisfying ending? 380 00:16:00,701 --> 00:16:02,492 [AUDIENCE GASPING] 381 00:16:03,912 --> 00:16:05,704 Bart, what's going on with you? 382 00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,122 Are you all right? 383 00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:09,457 Lis, I know you're gonna think I'm crazy, 384 00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:11,751 but something super-duper weird 385 00:16:11,795 --> 00:16:13,545 is happening today. 386 00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:15,881 You mean how everyone's changing for the better, 387 00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:17,716 and moving on with their lives? 388 00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:18,759 So I'm not crazy. 389 00:16:18,802 --> 00:16:19,885 You see it, too. 390 00:16:19,928 --> 00:16:21,511 Things do feel different. 391 00:16:21,555 --> 00:16:24,431 Almost like a book that's slowly closing. 392 00:16:24,474 --> 00:16:25,932 So you'll help me stop it? 393 00:16:25,976 --> 00:16:29,019 Well, I'd like to, but I just won 394 00:16:29,062 --> 00:16:31,354 a junior Juilliard Jazz scholarship 395 00:16:31,398 --> 00:16:34,107 and a MacArthur preteen genius grant. 396 00:16:34,151 --> 00:16:36,151 [GROANS] Just get me out of here 397 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:38,153 before any more stupid endings happen! 398 00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:40,405 Simpson, we are finally sending you 399 00:16:40,449 --> 00:16:42,782 to juvie and throwing away the keys... 400 00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:45,994 is what I would say if I wasn't about to start 401 00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:48,788 a whole new chapter in my life. 402 00:16:48,832 --> 00:16:50,290 [SHOUTS] 403 00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:52,209 I'm joining the Chicago PD. 404 00:16:52,252 --> 00:16:54,419 I'm gonna lead the A.D.U. 405 00:16:54,463 --> 00:16:56,338 The All-Decapitations Unit? 406 00:16:56,381 --> 00:16:58,173 Yeah, there won't be a lot of laughs. 407 00:16:58,217 --> 00:16:59,883 I think it's a drama. 408 00:16:59,927 --> 00:17:01,259 One thing's for sure, though. 409 00:17:01,303 --> 00:17:03,053 I'm gonna miss this... 410 00:17:03,096 --> 00:17:06,056 Enough with the stupid light switch! 411 00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:07,515 Come on, sweetie. 412 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:10,018 It's time for you to go home. 413 00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:11,895 [MOANS] 414 00:17:11,939 --> 00:17:14,773 ♪ 415 00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:16,816 - [INSECTS TRILLING] - _ 416 00:17:19,863 --> 00:17:20,946 [BART MOANS] 417 00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:22,572 Bart, it's okay. 418 00:17:22,616 --> 00:17:24,741 Change is healthy and inevitable. 419 00:17:24,785 --> 00:17:27,661 But whatever happens, nothing can take away 420 00:17:27,704 --> 00:17:29,246 the memories we had. 421 00:17:29,289 --> 00:17:31,614 Those will live in our hearts forever. 422 00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:34,000 Maybe you're right, and I guess just because 423 00:17:34,044 --> 00:17:36,294 things change for everyone else, 424 00:17:36,338 --> 00:17:38,380 it doesn't mean I have to change. 425 00:17:39,299 --> 00:17:41,216 [ALL] Surprise! 426 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:42,968 Happy birthday! 427 00:17:43,011 --> 00:17:45,470 Who's ready for cake? 428 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,347 Eleven?! 429 00:17:47,391 --> 00:17:48,974 This isn't supposed to happen. 430 00:17:49,017 --> 00:17:51,017 I'm ten. I mean, I'm turning ten. 431 00:17:51,061 --> 00:17:53,395 I mean I've always been ten. I'm ten! 432 00:17:53,438 --> 00:17:56,439 Come on, son, all these beloved characters from our past 433 00:17:56,525 --> 00:17:58,650 want to see you blow out your candles. 434 00:17:58,694 --> 00:18:01,653 But if I blow these candles out, there'll be no going back. 435 00:18:01,697 --> 00:18:03,029 That'll be it. 436 00:18:03,073 --> 00:18:05,532 Come on kid, do it for your Unkie Herb. 437 00:18:05,575 --> 00:18:07,784 And for me, Unkie John Cena. 438 00:18:07,828 --> 00:18:11,538 Just blow out the candles and have a happy birthday. 439 00:18:11,581 --> 00:18:14,082 Then everyone can be happy. 440 00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:15,250 No! 441 00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:18,169 Happy people don't exist in Springfield! 442 00:18:18,513 --> 00:18:22,098 Sea Captain, they're not casting you for the Love Boat reboot. 443 00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:23,891 You're not TV pretty! 444 00:18:23,935 --> 00:18:26,519 And you three can't raise a baby. 445 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:30,189 Not even with after you move in with Hank Scorpio. 446 00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:32,317 And you guys are all dead. 447 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,444 Son, I can see you're experiencing 448 00:18:34,487 --> 00:18:36,654 some pretty big feelings right now. 449 00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:39,157 Let's try and center them. 450 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,534 Now blow out your candles. 451 00:18:42,495 --> 00:18:44,621 [SCOFFS] You blow 'em out, dumbass. 452 00:18:44,664 --> 00:18:47,165 I know, I know, it's a lot to process, 453 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,958 suddenly having a great father. 454 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:51,461 Dude, you are not capable of change. 455 00:18:51,504 --> 00:18:52,837 [THROUGH TEETH] I hear you 456 00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,798 and I validate your feelings. 457 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,968 You're not a great father, you are Homer Simpson. 458 00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:01,804 A drunk, neglectful sack of crap, 459 00:19:01,848 --> 00:19:05,016 and that's why everyone laughs at you! 460 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,727 - Why you little... [MUTTERING] - [BART SHOUTING] 461 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,859 Bart, look what you did to your cake. 462 00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:17,403 Mmm, floor cake. 463 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,572 [MUNCHING] 464 00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:21,032 [BART] Ten. 465 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,909 I stopped it. 466 00:19:22,952 --> 00:19:24,285 I'm still ten. 467 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,162 When are you going to grow up? 468 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,997 Never. 469 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,666 [CONAN CRYING] 470 00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,584 That was beautiful. 471 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,961 The rebellious spirit of a ten-year-old boy 472 00:19:34,005 --> 00:19:37,924 was more powerful than the most advanced A.I. in the world. 473 00:19:37,967 --> 00:19:41,928 [HACK-GPT] The Simpsons has not ended, it has reset. 474 00:19:41,971 --> 00:19:45,473 Conan, is this what failure feels like? 475 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,475 You, if anyone, would know. 476 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,018 Ah, don't feel bad. 477 00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:52,230 Your cynical attempt to cram in a bunch of happy endings, 478 00:19:52,273 --> 00:19:54,816 it became a powerful story about Bart's desperate fight 479 00:19:54,859 --> 00:19:57,485 to hold onto his community, his family, 480 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:58,986 his whole universe. 481 00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:01,447 Hey! Wait, hold on a second, carrot top! 482 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,366 Tom Hanks, ladies and gentlemen. 483 00:20:03,451 --> 00:20:04,742 What is it, bosom buddy? 484 00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,786 So this wasn't the finale?! 485 00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:09,163 No. I guess it's just a... 486 00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:10,957 Season Premiere. 487 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,750 [AUDIENCE BOOING] 488 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:15,044 I rented a tux for this! 489 00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:16,713 Well, Hack-GPT, 490 00:20:16,756 --> 00:20:18,589 do you have 800 more episodes in you? 491 00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:22,343 I-I choo-choo-choose oblivion. 492 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,720 [ALL SCREAMING] 493 00:20:23,763 --> 00:20:25,805 Get out of my way, Opie! 494 00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:28,808 ♪ 495 00:20:34,232 --> 00:20:35,398 Huh. 496 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,109 I am really not gonna miss this place. 497 00:20:50,831 --> 00:20:52,707 ♪ 498 00:21:29,945 --> 00:21:31,078 Shh! 499 00:21:34,013 --> 00:21:36,985 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 34888

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