Original subtitles

I don't know if you've ever been in love, probably,

in one way or another it's happened to all of us.

But not many have been lucky enough to find true love,

the love which, when you look at the other,

you know you'll never separate. My love's name is Margherita,

we're marrying on Saturday

and this is the best week of my life.

Darling!

Have you've been watching me long?

- Minutes, hours! - Come on!

Gigetto, I adore you, but...

- Won't you be late for work? - No, quick!

- It's Mom... - No...

Hello?

She's up and running!

- What's the matter? - They brought the wrong chairs!

- They brought the wrong chairs! - Who'll ever notice!

She will, the only one...

Alright...

- Okay, we'll come this evening. - No, no, no...

- Yes, darling! - No, I'm not coming.

- Yes... - Mom, we can't...

- She hung up! - Please...

Please, she's doing it all.

Yeah! She's ruining our lives! - Thanks.

- Paolo! - Who is it?

- I'm sorry, I really am, so sorry! - Nothing...

- I'm sorry... - Stop!

Have a good day.

W THE GROOM

- Stop... - Paolo! Paolo!

Thank you, you shouldn't have. You absolutely shouldn't have.

You laugh, but...

Let's see, whose idea was this?

Big Paolo!

Your office buddies wanted to get you a big gift.

But, with the crisis, all we could get was a teeny-tiny one.

- Paolo! Paolo! - Stop!

Let's open this "bobbly" and congratulations!

I told you to keep quiet, they're not invited.

Oh, guys... no offense that I'm invited

and you're not? - No, no...

You said just relatives...

Yeah, just relatives and close, close friends like him!

- And me? - And you...

and you too... Didn't you get the invitations?

- I didn't... - Me neither.

That's weird!

I'm sorry... This mail! Maybe it's the mail, right?

That's how the mail is,

if you don't send, they don't deliver.

How about having some "bobbly"?

Paolo! Paolo! Our office...

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

Your baby's in here.

That's a great joke! My heart jumped, feel here

It's very funny.

- Your doing? - More yours than mine.

Excuse me...

- Are you crazy? - What?

What's that mean: my baby's in there?

I'd say it's clear: I'm giving birth to our baby.

- That's impossible! - No!

We slept together!

Simona, we made love once!

- Guess it was enough. - Two years ago!

- I love you... - What big words!

- Don't marry Margherita. - What?

- I love you, I want you! - Simona!

We made love two years ago, I don't deny it

and it was also very nice...

- I want you now! - Simona! Cut it out!

Sorry

She's crazy! Crazy...

Yes, I'm crazy, for you!

- For you! I'm crazy for you! - Stop...

You don't want Margherita, you want me.

There's still time to call it off.

What?

- The wedding. - Simona, let me go.

Marry me!

I won't let you marry that slut!

She taking acting lessons. She's good!

You'll hear about her.

- How did it go at the office? - What?

At the office, you had to close some things.

What?

You said you had to close some things at the office.

At the office! Yes, all closed, actually, ajar.

- What's that on your face? - My face?

There, it's a sort of cut...

- I cut myself. - How?

- Shaving. - You didn't shave this morning.

- I didn't? - No!

In fact, I didn't. I remember!

I started, I put the razor...

I said to myself: "No shave today!"

Look, the lake's got waves, unusual!

- Are you okay? - Sure.

No, going to your folk's gives me the jitters.

Stop it, you know they like you.

Like a wet cat that's peed on the couch!

Incidentally, it's Ettore's birthday today.

- Ettore... - The dog!

Ettore... Happy birthday! - So?

- Goulash! - Goulash...

But, Mom's!

It's his favorite dish. - Ettore's, in fact he's a dog.

- Sweet, isn't it? - Very.

Mum!

How's my favorite future mother-in-law?

Shut up and sit down!

- What is it? - Didn't you see?

- What? - How stupid can you get?

Why, what did I do?

I mean the chair company. They're too big!

They sent a 100 conference chairs, not dinner chairs.

- It's okay! - It's okay!

Okay? Do you know what this means?

Every table has nine people, not 10.

- Know what that means? - There's one more table.

Yes, but to make that table

I'll have to take a discard from each table

and make a table of the useless.

That's funny! A table of the uglies...

Useless... right...

Let's talk inside, so you'll calm down.

Hi, love! Yes, yes...

Handsome, happy birthday, Achille!

His name's Ettore!

Ettore... I brought you...

a little gift...

A gift? Thanks!

A nice little mint candy.

I don't think he likes mint candies.

- He doesn't? - No.

That's strange, I really like them a lot.

How are you?

Sweetheart, the chair.

Months of work, gone!

Margherita?

Don't worry, we'll do the table together.

Would you mind not destroying my home?

Relax, I'll help you out...

- The chair? - Put it there.

Will you leave me alone? Go milk the cows, you idiot!

- How's my little sister-in-law? - Little sister-in-law, my foot!

If you think I'm wearing this,

you're so wrong! - Doesn't it fit well? No!

You're beautiful!

Yeah, I can just see it, you, like a princess,

and me, like first communion. Leave me alone!

In a man's opinion you're lovely.

Great, a man's point of view!

I'd rather go to the wedding naked!

Ginevra!

Are you crazy? Paolo!

What are you doing, ogling?

- Me? - Yes!

She was there... Should I leave?

Yes!

I'm leaving, just ask!

How's my favorite father-in-law?

I say, how's my favorite father-in-law?

I'm not your father-in-law yet.

That's right, you're not, future...

The future and past don't exist, only the present.

And in the present, I'm not your father-in-law.

I'm fine... You?

- Me? - Yes!

- Fine. - You feel good?

How's your wall? Coming along?

It's just a wall-ette!

I don't build walls, just wall-ettes.

It's an excellent cure for stress.

- I know. - Have you tried?

- No. - Then how do you know?

Actually... I thought so.

I'll go unpack...

Lamb goulash with potatoes and peas.

No, first blow the candles out.

Thank you... I wouldn't like the others...

- Don't worry, there's more. - Okay...

- Just tell me if you'd like more. - Absolutely.

- Would you taste it? - Right now?

- When? - Yes, yes...

Good. - It's not a little tough?

Melts in the mouth! I recommend it.

I'll have some wine, it goes well with goulash.

I'm dieting, or my gown won't fit!

Very little lamb, you know, I...

- Don't you like it? - I prefer it alive.

You're an animal activist now?

Always been one.

No, I'm just having salad.

Grandma, you're dieting too?

No, but your goulash is revolting.

Couldn't I have a little goat cheese?

Yes... I'll finish here and get you some.

It's such a pleasure to care for you!

It seems you're the only one who likes my goulash!

And Ettore... Have some more.

Let me finish my...

How's your wall coming?

It's just a wall-ette!

- That's the point, why build it? - To relax.

Maybe Hitler said that too!

Hitler didn't build the Berlin Wall.

- He didn't? - No.

Ginevra, stop it! Giorgio...

Never heard of building a wall to relax!

Achille, what is it?

You're done, want to get down?

He's eaten and wants to get down.

No! We just put flea powder on him.

- OK. - Paolo?

His name's Ettore.

Ettore, sorry.

Well, you were saying...

you build just to pass the time?

- Beg your pardon? - The wall... ette...

You build as if it were a hobby.

Not exactly.

It will delineate the driveway from the garden.

So that those parking in the driveway

know they can't park in the garden.

It's important to delineate, people don't always understand.

Isn't all this delineating a little overdone?

What's wrong with building a wall-ette

to delineate my driveway from my garden?

Darling, my goat cheese...

Right away!

Since you're getting up, I'll take this chance...

to go wash my hands...

My I use your bathroom?

Your wall-ette... That way?

It's disgusting!

Sorry

Times have really changed.

How true... The Wedding's on Saturday,

and we still haven't met the groom's father.

- He travels a lot. - What's his job?

He's a pianist.

- How nice! - Classical?

If we mean types of music...

yes, classical too. Dad?

Is everything alright?

- What? - You look like you saw a ghost.

It's nothing, must be... the goulash.

What happened?

We can't tell. We were sitting there, we heard some thumps.

Thumps?

What could it be?

Looks like bird shit.

That's quite a bird!

Ginevra, please!

I don't think it's bird Shit.

Anyone want a drink?

No, thanks.

I'm having an after dinner drink, because the goulash...

It's really crazy!

Maybe it's ferrets, my beautician says we're loaded.

Tell Ambrogio to take a look tomorrow.

- It's ferrets! - Ferrets on the roof?

Excuse me, may I say something?

Margherita and I should sleep in separate rooms tonight.

- It's tradition, isn't it? - How dreary! Good night.

Paolo, you've been living together for a year.

Of course, but I think sleeping together in this house, yours,

I mean, the bride's folk's house,

anyway, it seemed to me... Don't you think?

I say it's absurd, but if you really want to? Giorgio?

I'm going to bed.

Good night.

I'll go too, what with goulash and tables...

I'll be waiting in the room in 5 minutes.

No, I want to do this right.

We are doing it right!

Please, I want your parents to like me.

- They like you! - I just told them...

we'd be sleeping in separate rooms.

You'd let me sleep alone in this great big house? No.

So...

See you in five minutes.

TUESDAY

Good morning. I brought the rings.

I thought you'd like to see them...

The rings...

Maybe later...

Pass me the milk, please.

Giorgio, pass me the coffee, please?

Without coffee in the morning...

I sincerely apologize for last night.

I'd gone down for a glass of water...

Really! I thought it was my room and Margherita wanted...

you know, to surprise me.

In fact, when I felt those breasts...

they were... bigger...

that's when I realized...

For your age, very nice, Clara...

if only there were more! - I'll get back to my wall-ette.

It was just to play it down, no of fence...

I mean, if they're real...

Chapeau!

- Sorry - No!

You can't see the gown, it's bad luck.

Margherita, I have to talk to you.

- Can't you wait 10 minutes? - No, right now.

Mom, could I have two minutes with him?

- At least, cover up! - Clara, please.

If things go wrong, don't say I didn't warn you.

- Couldn't be worse. - What?

- Nothing... - Thank you, Maria.

- You're beautiful. - Like it?

Very much.

Darling, what's the matter?

What? They hate me!

- Who? - What do you mean, who?

You mother and father and even Achille!

Ettore!

Ettore, Achille... I can't take any more!

Everything I do to please them, turns into...

Sweetheart?

Your phone's ringing. - Don't know who it is.

Answer!

Hello?

I have the craziest urge to make love to you.

- Paolo! - What is it?

You threw your phone out the window?

- Yes. - Why?

Because...

- Why? - I got a shock!

A shock?

Didn't you ever get a shock from your phone?

Unfortunately the window was open, but I'll go get it.

Be right back, watch her train...

Achille, you ate the rings!

Don't do this to me!

The rings! Achille, come here!

If you did what I think, first I'll open you and then I'll...

close you. I was playing with...

- Ettore! - Yes.

Open-Close is a game.

I begin and I open and then he... closes.

I've just been on the roof of the veranda.

- So? - It wasn't bird shit.

- It wasn't? - No!

It was goulash.

Yes...

You're beautiful!

Thank you.

Paolo is very lucky.

I love him!

Why?

Because I've never known anyone like him.

And because he loves me.

- He does? - He does.

That's more than enough.

I just want you to be happy.

So, you threw the goulash out the window...

But first you'd thrown it in the toilet.

Why?

Because I didn't like it but didn't want to offend.

Clara is a woman of many talents,

but I admit her goulash is really disgusting.

Really, really!

I'm sorry, it was such a stupid thing to do.

Look, I don't think I'm the ideal father-in-law...

Don't say that!

And you could never be the ideal son-in-law.

- I couldn't? - No.

Anyway, I promise

I'll do all I can to have a decent relationship with you.

That's a start.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Sorry for... I'll leave.

- Can I give you a hand? - No, thank you.

Please, it's important for me! Look, brute force!

Load sand in the cement mixer, the shovel's there.

Great, Giorgio...

Sand in the cement mixer...

I was regional champion... Just kidding.

What are you doing?

- Putting sand in the cement mixer. - Don't you turn it on?

When I saw you in my bed with Clara...

I thought: "Who are we taking in?"

When I saw you with your hands in the toilet...

"He doesn't eat shit, I hope!"

Have you seen Ettore?

- What? - Have you seen Ettore?

What happened?

Paolo killed Ettore in the cement mixer.

- Ginevra! - Well, isn't that it?

At least Clara didn't cook! You can tell!

Grandma!

Is everything alright?

Clara... I'm truly sorry.

If it's any consolation, I'm sure he didn't suffer.

It's rapid drying cement, blocked his heart in an instant!

Excuse me, please go on. Paolo, if you don't like the dinner,

just toss it out the window.

Why don't you show the rings to Grandma?

Right, why not?

I'll get them later!

- Why not now? - I'm eating.

- It only takes a moment. - They're upstairs.

Okay, let's go get the rings!

- What's the matter? - Nothing, I'm fine.

Want the rings? I'll get them.

I apologize.

- Paolo? - Yes?

- What are you doing with those? - Those... what?

- The hammer and knife! - Oh, these!

You scared me...

I came into the kitchen and saw this poor... Ettore...

You won't believe it, with these here...

I wondered: "Why?"

and then... you came...

Poor thing, huh?

Let's leave...

we have to remember him alive, our little... Ettore.

- Let's go, the soup's cooling. - I don't understand.

Don't worry, forget it.

Drive carefully.

Yes, I'll call when we get there.

- Bye, bye. - See you on Friday.

Paolo? Paolo, let's go!

- Coming... - Mom, don't be sad.

Sorry, I had to finish something... Sorry!

How did he get here?

He was dead!

He was dead...

- Clara, please? - Mum? Mum!

Here we are...

At least we got the rings back!

Sure, but I didn't think I'd have to skin my dog.

Come on, you're a vet and an excellent one too!

How many dogs have you skinned? Thousands!

Why didn't you say he'd swallowed the rings?

Didn't want to worry you, you're so busy, you didn't need the dog...

Didn't you think my folks would have realized

that the dead dog was gone?

I'd have taken it back: open, close and take back.

When? You'd take it back on Friday? You're an idiot!

- OK... - You're an idiot!

OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Want to kill me? Kill me!

Don't shout!

- Marghe? - What is it?

Come on, listen to me.

Sorry, they've been 2 atrocious days.

I love you.

You do? Even if I'm not perfect?

You will be.

Meaning?

- I want to make love. - Here?

I'll do some rehearsing.

Paolo?

How about a ride on this merry-go-round?

WEDNESDAY

Good morning, darling.

You're so poutie!

Well, I got you a croissant with apricot jam,

orange juice from our...

toast, salted butter

and just for today, a hot towel for your hands.

Like in that restaurant you liked so much.

And lots of flowers. Everything okay?

Fine, thank you... just tired.

It's expected after spending half the night

trying to pull my boyfriend's lover off the bed.

I told you, Simona isn't my lover.

I had a one-night fling with her 2 years ago.

If other women should reveal themselves,

I'd be grateful if you'd tell me. - Sure...

Since our wedding is Saturday!

No, I can't think of even one. Enjoy your breakfast.

Mom called, Ettore's funeral's at 4...

If you're coming, and I'd recommend it

since you killed him, I'm leaving in an hour.

I'm buying my attire with Ivano.

But you could wait for me, we'll go together.

- No. - No, in fact... no.

I'll take the train, that's best. See you there.

Of course she's angry, put yourself in her shoes.

I understand, but she's nuts!

She barely said hello in 2 years.

- Margherita? - No, Simona!

Every time Simona sees you, she starts crying.

See the problem? I thought she was depressed.

This is an "anomalus personality".

- What? - Anomalus personality.

- Anomalus personality! - I understand!

It's Margherita!

- Come on! Hi, Darling. How are things?

Yes, of course! No, I didn't forget.

I'm leaving right now. I'm in the station...

hear the background noise? Hear the noise of the station?

Socks and underwear... Get them here!

Marghe? What?

No, it's an anomalus vender. Yes...

Gotta go, I'm on the running board...

Wait... The train leaving... track...

Why didn't you do me a train?

You said a station!

- Oh, please! - I'll do you a train!

I'm in big trouble...

I forgot Ettore's funeral.

- Whose that? - The dog I cementified.

- The dog's funeral? - Yes, the dog's! Got a car?

- Yes. - Good, we race to the lake,

I'll never make it by train, if I don't get there it's over. Go!

Get changed fast! Common!

Excuse me, I have an appointment...

Do you think I've got nothing to do?

It's a funeral.

Oh sorry, please...

- Very kind. - Condolences.

- Thank you. - Someone close to you?

- Who? My grandmother, I was very fond of her...

She raised me...

- Can I help you? - I pay, mine and this...

Good bye.

That's 5,385 euro in all!

They're really giving the dog a funeral?

What's wrong with your eye? Your liver?

You're nervous? He's jittery about the wedding.

- Grandma's funeral, huh? - What?

You should be ashamed, using your family!

Is he with you? Is he your baby-sitter?

No, the man's vexed because there was a quid pro quo.

I'm upset and since he knows how...

So... Can you tell him about my dead Grandma?

Grandma? Oh, Grandma!

The story about his grandma...

At a certain point, his grandma died.

- And the dog? - He wants to know about the dog?

- Thank you. - The dog too?

The story about the dog... - He knows it...

At a certain point, the dog died.

That's two!

They dug a hole and buried them.

Please!

- That's the truth, isn't it? - Would you sign please?

You believe it, don't you? Goodbye.

Your credit card and bags!

Wait for me here.

Clara asked me to say a few words...

Well... We're all gathered here,

almost all of us are gathered here to give our final goodbye,

our farewell... to little Ettore.

Sorry! Sorry I'm late! Sorry.

The train didn't...

so... I came with...

Sure, you'd like me to say something...

about your little...

I'm going back to my wall-ette! Ambrogio, you can close it.

- Marghe? - Not now!

Who's out there cutting the grass?

- Ivano! - Cute!

- Say something to him! - I'll talk to him.

My pleasure, Ivano.

The best man.

Can I say something?

Try and I'll kick you out.

You'll kick me out of my own car?

No, this car would be yours if you hadn't destroyed mine!

She's right, that's enough!

You're a couple of idiots!

For four windows...

You're stretching it, I even did some gardening...

Paolo, tell your friend he's not allowed to open his mouth?

Ivano, that's enough, quiet!

I did a great job, it would cost a ton to pay for it.

What? You were a disaster!

- You destroyed the house! - Stay calm.

She didn't even say thank you.

Ivano, put those earphones on!

Okay, go have your little engagement bicker.

You're engaged? Act like it.

Sorry

You're not telling me the truth.

- About what? - About passive smoking...

What am I talking about, Paolo?

Last night there was a girl chained to our bed.

Her again? She's crazy!

It's never happened that a guy I had sex just one night

shows up two years later chained to my bed.

I can say I've had many.

- You have? - Yes!

- Get a load of Margherita! - Ivano, stop!

Weren't you listening to music?

You said: earphones on, not: listen to music.

- Ivano! - Should I do a train?

We're finally here...

- You are. - Why?

Because I don't believe you. I'm sleeping at home tonight!

- What? - Get out!

- We can talk this over calmly... - Get out!

THURSDAY

This isn't the end of bachelorhood, it's the end of life!

What's so funny? Paolo, talk!

- I'm... - But you don't talk!

Sorry if I don't talk, it's just that I'm...

- Objective. - Objective...

- Because I'm... - Confused.

- Can I talk? - Okay.

- I'm very worried. - See?

See, what?

She... hasn't called all day.

- Who? - Margherita!

Margherita? Of course... It's your bachelor night!

What do you care?

If she doesn't want to see me again?

If she doesn't...

What face is that? What is it? Talk!

- Karina and Dorina. - Who are they?

Don't ask who they are, ask what they do!

They're waiting in the hotel with peanuts and Prosecco.

- Not me! - Come on...

- Not a whoring evening, no! - Well-deserved!

Leave it to me!

I'm not up to it...

You go, do something if you want or not.

I don't want to do anything!

Want to watch? Then watch!

I don't feel like joking!

Karina, I'd know your voice... You're Dorina?

My friend's a sensational character you'll love him!

We'll be there in 10 minutes... 5 minutes... one minute!

Just turn around, we're already there.

A sweet kiss, I adore you, we're coming!

May I?

We're ready, calm...

Ivano, stop it!

I don't want to come, okay?

Paolo?

Maybe you don't realize, my life has no meaning without you.

No, maybe you don't realize I'll have you arrested!

This is called stalking, and it's a crime!

- Call off the wedding. - No!

- Then I'll jump. - Don't do it!

No one ever committed suicide for love! Never!

What the hell are you saying?

The world's full of people who commit suicide for love.

Romeo and Juliet, Paolo and Francesca, Tristan and... Isotta.

- So? - Nothing, just to say that...

- Hey! .-Yes?

Can you swim?

Yes, but how's that figure here?

Then take a swim!

Fine, then goodbye forever, Paolo.

- You know him, he's a clown. - Goodbye, cruel world.

It was the most incredible thing,

only I could save her.

Good evening.

- May I ask a few questions? - What?

Don't play dumb!

I just asked... I don't understand.

- Relax! - I'm very calm...

Then why are you shaking?

- Because I'm cold. - Poor thing...

Then why did you push the girl?

I didn't, I saved her!

Paolo, they want to interview you!

Who are you? Your I.D. please.

I was doing a TV interview. Sorry.

Television!

I'm really cold!

- You're Ivano from Caivano? - It says so.

Know Mariano from Secondigliano?

- Yes. - Know who I am?

- Who are you? - Sergio!

- Sergio? - Sergio from Terzigno!

Serginho!

In your job, you must see lots, but I...

Sergigno! Why the uniform?

I was made a Carabiniere in Milan...

Okay, we're all under stress, I realize...

- How's Pasqualino? - Pasqualino? He's dead.

No!

Can I ask you just one thing?

- And Franco Cappuccino? - The monk?

- Yes! - He's dead!

No! And Gennarino?

They were in the same car!

How can you live here?

Give me a big hug!

Let's have a toast, what are we doing here?

Can you understand the Milan accent?

FRIDAY

Say something to him.

Forgive us, Father Alessandro...

I forgive you, but we said 11:15 and it's 11:15

- Let's go. - Yes.

- Why not call him? - He's coming.

She says he's coming.

- He's coming. - Let's hope so.

See how pretty it is here?

Imagine the city, the stress, the running, the work...

Then you come here... and take a breather!

- A breather? - A breather.

It's kinda like the sea...

but a sea that's closed up. - You relax...

You take a breather.

As for breathing, you sure breathe.

Then you find a little place...

- With a cozy restaurant... - You eat a little fish...

Everything's so, so close, because it's a lake.

- And you take a breather. - On that...

The first day...

you look around and say: "Ah, the lake!"

Then... the second day you come here and...

You say: "I did well on the first day to come here!"

Confirming your choice.

You know what really makes me crap?

- The lake! - Right.

Boy, what sadness!

Why not call him? That's why cell phones were invented.

I did, his phone's off!

Could he have backed out?

- Sorry. - Hello!

If you'd all like to go inside.

- So, you think I'm an idiot? - I didn't say that.

I don't believe she jumped into the canal.

I swear it, ask... Ivano!

What are you? Rabbits? Animals?

Seeing people copulate in a car is the saddest thing in the world.

- After the lake! - Yes.

Who is it? - It's me.

Me, who?

Me. Dad, it's Paolo, your only sibling.

It's Paolo's dad.

The pianist...

The ice cream man's here.

Just a minute...

Just a moment...

one second.

Hi.

A pleasure, Dino.

Sorry, we were a little early...

and, you know how it is, waiting, waiting...

There's someone inside? - Martina, my...

My vocalist... - Hi!

- Your? - Vocalist.

Mom, why don't we... Would you like something to drink?

- In the house? - Mom will offer us something.

Nice idea, huh?

A nice surprise, isn't it?

- Your set up's not bad here! - Till now...

Nice shack you got here!

Thank you.

How do you explain a thing like this?

Before I saw her, I heard her.

It was like the song of the Sirens,

for that guy... what's his name?

- Ulysses. - Right, good for you!

Thank you.

But Ginevra and that other guy, what's his name...

Ulysses!

No way, Ivano!

Yes... Why aren't they at the table?

I'll look for them...

I'd say we should start...

- Ginevra, we're at the table. - Coming.

I guess we have to go.

Don't move.

Your eyes are like gold, they're incredible!

Gold!

When you cry, tears don't flow down,

but instead, bracelets, necklaces, zircons!

What's the strangest place you ever made love?

In a bed.

In a bed?

During a move!

I was there, you know when you go around with friends?

It was an ordinary place, when I hear...

a voice singing...

Amazing... "Whose is it?"

It tugged at me, I went to the stage...

I looked at her, she was there...

I realized love had returned.

Paolo, the same thing happened with your mom.

It's a beautiful story!

Clara... please.

I realize that a 42-year difference...

- 43, darling. - What!

I'll be 26 in November. Scorpio.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

Okay, common, let's not focus on a slight difference...

- Slight? - A tad!

She could be my daughter!

What an exaggeration!

Okay, my sister. Is that better?

- I like her a lot. - Thank you, ma'am.

You're welcome.

It seemed a little strange at first to me too, but then...

Why, how long's this thing been?

In 25 days, it will be 1 month.

You've been together 5 days?

Yes, but it's like we've known one another forever.

Of course.

Giorgio, may I go out for some air?

- Please do. - Should I come with you?

- No. - Paolo?

I'm very disappointed in your behavior.

- You are? - Yes.

I'd like to remind you it's my wedding tomorrow, not yours

and this dinner was to introduce you to

my new family. What do you do? You show up with...

- Martina. - Yes, Martina.

Are any of you bothered by the presence of myself

and my girlfriend?

- Of course... - No!

You're the only one who has a problem.

Then... forgive me.

Forgive him, the Wedding's making him edgy.

It's not the wedding, that's how he's always been.

He's unbearable when he gets an idea in his head!

If I found out my mother was dating someone my age,

I think I wouldn't take it very well. But then, I'd get used to it,

in the end we get used to everything.

How right you are.

I said she was very intelligent.

- Could we play something for you? - Good Lord, no...

Yes, that would be really nice!

Our piano is right there, we never use it.

It's useless!

Common, let's warm this atmosphere.

I'll let you hear how she sings.

And dessert?

- It's a little different... - Is this a dance hall?

You're so gloomy!

- That's not true. - Yes, you're becoming an old man.

Looking at the roses...

which bloomed this morning...

I think that tomorrow...

they'll be withered.

If everything is like the roses...

that last one day, one hour and no longer...

But not love, my love cannot...

scatter in the wind like the roses.

It's so strong that it won't give in, it won't wither.

What are you doing?

I'm thinking.

- Can I? - Sure.

Maybe you'll leave, looking for the arms of other women...

Oh no!

And if you return you'll find all beauty withered...

Not in you.

But not love, my love cannot,

fade away with the gold of your hair.

It will be alive in me as long as I live, just for you...

Actually, she has a lovely voice.

- She's certainly not stupid. - No.

And she's very nice.

Besides she loves him. See how they look at each other?

Sure, after 5 days... it's not so hard...

At the rehearsal today, as the priest was saying those words,

I was moved to tears.

I don't know, it was... very emotional.

I've never told anyone...

I... How's it go? - I promise.

To be faithful to you... - Forever...

in joy and sorrow,

in sickness and in health,

to love and honor you,

all the days of my life.

I too am happy to look after you my whole life long.

It's the fans that bother me!

Music puts everything right!

Paolo, come say goodbye?

Hey, you won't talk to us for the rest of your life?

We'll be right there, just a minute.

Are you happy to marry me?

Of course I am!

Great evening, see you all tomorrow!

- I'm really glad I met you. - Me too.

Why don't you stay?

You're very sweet, but we have our hotel room,

there's the lake, the moon...

Martina, will you remember that lipstick tomorrow?

- A present! - Thank you!

Paolo, you have such a nice dad. - I know!

If I'd known, they could have sung at the wedding.

Maybe next time...

It's a joke!

Dad, good night and forgive me.

- You too Martina. - Don't worry.

Forget it! Tomorrow's a great day!

Tomorrow's The Big Day!

Goodnight.

What kind of a laugh is that?

You don't want to burn up Grandma's Tiffany sheets, do you?

Either they're Grandma's or they're Tiffany's.

That's funny... Why doesn't anyone laugh at my jokes?

I tell really great jokes! Give it here.

And your father's face when they got out of the van?

And my mother, getting her to give up her lipstick?

Break? Break, break... - Darling...

- What is it? - I love you so much.

You haven't laughed like that for days.

You haven't...

You haven't laughed for days. - No...

No tickling!

You can't catch me!

The monster's coming!

Excuse me, Grandma!

The Farting Monster!

Grandma!

Sorry

It's just that... - Oh my God!

- Paolo, what did you do? - Grandma!

Mum!

SATURDAY

The doctor's here.

You can't do anything more for her, it's useless to stay.

All we do is wait and see if the hematoma shrinks.

Let's hope in her reawakening.

Thank you.

I'd say... don't you think? Going?

The hairdresser's coming to the house.

- The hairdresser? - Yes. Let's go.

The hairdresser...

Ivano, you should have picked up a bag!

I told you not to scrimp!

The more you spend, the less you spend,

you don't want to listen!

Listen to what? You did it all!

Doctor, I understand. I thank you.

News? How's Grandma?

Her breast bone pierced part of her lung.

Her collar bone is dislocated. - Okay, but that...

She's been in a coma for 12 hours.

Apart from that, everything's fine, right?

The hairdresser did an excellent job!

Margherita's beautiful.

What did you do to your cutaway?

They got the size wrong,

I'm going to send Ivano to fuc... to the store and get it changed.

Seen him? - Who?

Ivano.

He's still in bed with my younger daughter.

Giorgio, go change, it's late...

- I'm not going anywhere. - What?

- The Wedding's been called off. - What?

You tried it on with my wife, you killed my dog

and my mother. - She's not dead!

You won't marry my daughter. - What?

- You won't marry this idiot. - But I love him.

You won't marry the one who killed my mother,

not with my consent! - She's not dead!

Yes, dad, she's not dead! - She's not dead.

I've no desire to discuss the semantics regarding my mother.

She's in intensive care thanks to you.

I know it's absurd,

but I'm sure Grandma would want this wedding.

Too bad we can't ask her!

Be reasonable,

there are 74 thousand caviar canapes in the fridge.

Quiet, please!

If you think I'm standing in front of my friends and family

to say how wonderful Paolo is and how proud I am

to have him as my son-in-law, while my mother

is tottering between life and death and it's all his fault,

you've got another think coming!

As far as I'm concerned, the wedding is off.

I'm going to my study.

Where's the kitchen?

What's happened?

What's wrong?

- May I ask you something? - It's not the moment.

- The borage ravioli... - It's not the moment!

Do you prefer a dinner plate...

Don't ask me to make these decisions right now!

I'd advise a soup plate, it seems more suitable...

- The wedding favors! - The truck!

Stop!

She's not upstairs.

I don't understand.

I can't get a word.

Margherita ran off in the catering truck!

Catering? Where did she go?

- It's all over. - It's not over!

Borage, soup plate...

Where's Ivano?

Don't you have a juice squeezer? Just this?

Excuse us.

- Paolo, I'm in love with Ginevra. - Who?

- Ginevra. - Well done!

Mom, cheer up!

What did you do to that suit?

You made the pants mini-sized too?

What genius put a wall in the middle of the driveway?

It's a well-ette!

There you are! A phenomenon!

He was driving!

Later I'll give it a troweling!

We have to go now. Let's go!

Let me say goodbye to Leonardo DA Vinci!

Let's go!

I'm sorry!

Forgive me!

This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

Instead, here you are looking like you're dead.

Guilt feelings are useless, they've ruined mankind for ages.

Grandma!

I've learned one thing,

guilt feeling are useless.

Are you alright?

Despite that idiot husband of yours...

- He's not my husband yet. - He's not?

- No! - He's still an idiot.

Darling, go! Get married!

Thank you. I love you.

Thank you.

Mom! Yes, I'm fine.

I'm at the hospital... Yes, I'm fine...

Let me talk!

Grandma's awake, she's weak, but she's fine.

Tell Dad and come to the church, I'll see you in 10 minutes.

Someone finally shows up!

They said noon, it's noon! Where's the bride?

Move it!

They're all inside.

Excuse us... a minute...

I'd suggest you say something.

What can I say?

The truth is always best.

- Oh, please! - Here we are!

Still wearing those pants? Pull them down a little.

That lowers the crotch... Ginevra, you're beautiful!

What a pain these weddings are! They all break up anyway.

Giorgio, thanks for coming.

I'm here only for Margherita. By the way, where is she?

She said that...

Here she is.

Go!

Hi, Paolo!

SUNDAY

- Good morning, my hubbie. - Hi, my little wife.

- Have you been watching me long? - Minutes, hours!

- And Gigetto? - He's gone.

- Poor... - You're here!

It's Mom.

- Maybe something happened. - Nothing happened.

- Paolo? - Darling, what is it?

Excuse me!

What's wrong?

Should I worry?

Is everything alright?

I'll come in if you want,

but vomit really...

I won't come in, you're right.

Want some tea, something hot?

Hot lemon! - Yes, thank you.

I'm off to make some hot lemon.

Hot lemon for my love...

whose tummy has an ache...

Darling, how are you?

It must have been the caviar canapes.

Out of 74 thousand, you ate 800, you looked like a video game.

Remember the video game...

I'm pregnant.

It's three weeks.