Original subtitles

My dreams are gone and buried

my eyes are shredding tears and eyes as

I'm feeling my ears as I grow.

Hey. What's wrong?

You didn't say a thing. You just

look at me, and I. I need your help.

You know, luck says that she can't forgive

me for giving her up, and I can't really

get through. Neither can bathe. And so I

was thinking, you know, as another person,

I can't forgive me. That maybe you could

talk to her. You can't keep coming to me

like this.

Sorry.

It's not fair.

Well, can I at least just tell you

something? I've never

told anyone this before.

I never held locks after she was born.

You know, the nurses, they wanted me to.

They kept bringing her into me. But I knew

that if I held her, I'd want her.

And I couldn't let myself. So I pushed her

away. I have done that my

entire life. With everyone.

Until recently. I mean. Ryan, I know that

you say that I have to change, but what

you don't realize is that I have changed.

I mean, I started to change the moment

that Lux came back into my life. Because

for the first time in my life, I saw

possibility. You know, for the first time

in my life, I saw.

I saw a dream that I wasn't afraid of.

Want. I'm not saying

that I changed overnight. It has been

slow. And I have made a lot of mistakes.

I know that I lied to you about babies. I

know that that was wrong. It was beyond

wrong. But at the time, I thought I had to

or I would lose you. And it wasn't just

about losing you. It was about losing the

person that I was becoming. With you and

locks. I wanted to be a

family. But so much has happened. I don't

expect you to understand or forgive me,

but will you at least just help me?