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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:04,330 My dreams are gone and buried 2 00:00:08,190 --> 00:00:11,990 my eyes are shredding tears and eyes as 3 00:00:12,030 --> 00:00:14,590 I'm feeling my ears as I grow. 4 00:00:14,630 --> 00:00:18,490 Hey. What's wrong? 5 00:00:19,430 --> 00:00:23,502 You didn't say a thing. You just 6 00:00:23,646 --> 00:00:26,690 look at me, and I. I need your help. 7 00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:28,950 You know, luck says that she can't forgive 8 00:00:28,990 --> 00:00:31,422 me for giving her up, and I can't really 9 00:00:31,446 --> 00:00:33,778 get through. Neither can bathe. And so I 10 00:00:33,794 --> 00:00:35,930 was thinking, you know, as another person, 11 00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:38,826 I can't forgive me. That maybe you could 12 00:00:38,858 --> 00:00:41,202 talk to her. You can't keep coming to me 13 00:00:41,226 --> 00:00:41,950 like this. 14 00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:50,830 Sorry. 15 00:00:54,610 --> 00:00:55,750 It's not fair. 16 00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,582 Well, can I at least just tell you 17 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:06,822 something? I've never 18 00:01:06,846 --> 00:01:08,090 told anyone this before. 19 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:13,250 I never held locks after she was born. 20 00:01:13,710 --> 00:01:15,166 You know, the nurses, they wanted me to. 21 00:01:15,198 --> 00:01:18,494 They kept bringing her into me. But I knew 22 00:01:18,542 --> 00:01:21,690 that if I held her, I'd want her. 23 00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:26,102 And I couldn't let myself. So I pushed her 24 00:01:26,126 --> 00:01:29,450 away. I have done that my 25 00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,750 entire life. With everyone. 26 00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:37,298 Until recently. I mean. Ryan, I know that 27 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,762 you say that I have to change, but what 28 00:01:38,786 --> 00:01:41,410 you don't realize is that I have changed. 29 00:01:41,570 --> 00:01:43,738 I mean, I started to change the moment 30 00:01:43,874 --> 00:01:45,530 that Lux came back into my life. Because 31 00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:48,594 for the first time in my life, I saw 32 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,146 possibility. You know, for the first time 33 00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:52,630 in my life, I saw. 34 00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:58,428 I saw a dream that I wasn't afraid of. 35 00:01:58,444 --> 00:02:01,860 Want. I'm not saying 36 00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:03,980 that I changed overnight. It has been 37 00:02:04,060 --> 00:02:06,560 slow. And I have made a lot of mistakes. 38 00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:09,316 I know that I lied to you about babies. I 39 00:02:09,348 --> 00:02:11,132 know that that was wrong. It was beyond 40 00:02:11,196 --> 00:02:14,080 wrong. But at the time, I thought I had to 41 00:02:15,820 --> 00:02:18,780 or I would lose you. And it wasn't just 42 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,660 about losing you. It was about losing the 43 00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:24,710 person that I was becoming. With you and 44 00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:27,958 locks. I wanted to be a 45 00:02:27,974 --> 00:02:31,574 family. But so much has happened. I don't 46 00:02:31,622 --> 00:02:34,766 expect you to understand or forgive me, 47 00:02:34,798 --> 00:02:36,830 but will you at least just help me? 3229

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