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1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:03,837
♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh
2
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:06,406
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,477
♪ Travel down the road
And back again ♪
4
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,246
♪ Your heart is true
5
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:15,482
♪ You're a pal
And a confidante ♪
6
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:19,786
♪ And if you threw a party
7
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:23,657
♪ Invited everyone you knew
8
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,360
♪ You would see
9
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,729
♪ The biggest gift
Would be from me ♪
10
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,498
♪ And the card attached
Would say ♪
11
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,667
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,536
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,571
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
14
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:41,108
♪ Thank you
For bein' a friend ♪
15
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,634
I‐I understand, Miles.
16
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:10,070
(stammering) Do
the best you can, huh?
17
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,706
Bye.
18
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:15,042
Miles didn't cancel
your date again, did he?
19
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,111
Well, he said
he might be able to stop by.
He has another meeting.
20
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:20,914
I mean, I understand
things come up,
21
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,350
but tonight was going
to be so romantic.
22
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:24,718
I got candles.
23
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,687
I shaved my legs
above the knee.
24
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:32,659
I even bought
a new teddy.
25
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,927
Victoria's Secret?
26
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,062
Toys "R" Us.
27
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,668
Rose, I'm so sorry.
28
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:44,905
I know how much
you were looking
forward to tonight.
29
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,274
Well, it's not
just tonight.
I mean...
30
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:49,076
We've owned
this hotel for weeks,
31
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,911
and Miles still
hasn't seen it.
32
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,747
Not to mention the fact
that he's been
very inattentive
33
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,482
to some of
my other needs.
34
00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,719
What do you mean?
35
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,288
Well, it's been
a long time since we...
36
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,525
since we played cards.
37
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,162
Really?
38
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:12,132
How long has it been
since you played cards?
39
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:14,001
Almost three months.
(inhales sharply)
40
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,170
If I don't get my deck
shuffled soon, I...
41
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,875
Are you guys
talking about
sex again?
42
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,281
No, we're talking
about cards.
43
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,883
Playing cards.
Haven't you played
cards before?
44
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,852
I only really like
to play solitaire.
45
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,087
(grunts, laughs)
46
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,194
Roland, could you
lend me out five bucks?
47
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,796
Come on, Oliver,
I gave you your allowance
three days ago.
48
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,499
Now, you just gonna
have to learn. You cannot
spend more than you get.
49
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,501
That means I'm broke
for the rest of the week.
50
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,403
Well, honey,
if you need
to raise some cash,
51
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,905
be enterprising.
I'm sure you can think
of something.
52
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:54,942
Now, when I was young,
and I needed extra money,
53
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,844
there was always
lots of work to do.
54
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,946
Yeah, but Marshall
didn't close down
that bar.
55
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,384
You know, Blanche,
that's a good idea.
56
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:07,521
I mean, Oliver should
just go out and start
his own business.
57
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,223
When I was his age,
back in St. Olaf,
58
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,592
my sister and I
had a kissing booth.
59
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,328
People would come
from miles around.
We made a fortune.
60
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,763
The two of you
would spend all day
kissing strangers?
61
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:17,931
No, each other.
62
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,674
Rose...
63
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,276
who would pay
to see that?
64
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,746
Old men in raincoats mostly.
65
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,185
Uh, okay, Blanche,
66
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,154
these are
the guest registers
dating back to 1985.
67
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,690
Now, if you want some more,
I guess I can go look in
the attic and see‐‐
68
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,392
‐Oh, my goodness.
‐What's wrong?
69
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:46,693
This name right here.
70
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,062
‐"Jimmy Swaggart"?
‐Uh‐uh.
71
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,301
‐Beneath it.
‐"Jimmy Swaggart"?
72
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:58,372
Right there.
"Miles Webber"!
73
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,240
Oh. So?
74
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:02,376
There it is again.
(gasps)
75
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,979
Oh, no! Ohh!
Miles Webber's
all through this book.
76
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,815
Yeah, Miles Webber is
one of our best customers.
77
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,117
Nice‐looking
older guy.
78
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:12,586
I haven't seen him
much lately though.
What, you know him?
79
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:15,522
Know him?
He is Rose's boyfriend.
80
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,258
They're
practically engaged.
81
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:21,128
Oh, this news is
going to destroy her.
82
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,696
Poor, poor Rose.
83
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,831
Blanche, we should not
get involved in this.
84
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,467
And besides, you're probably
just jumping to conclusions.
85
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,803
Look, there's lot of reasons
why people check in
to this hotel.
86
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:32,773
Why would Miles Webber
come to this hotel
on a regular basis?
87
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,107
He lives in Miami.
88
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,475
I don't know.
You live in Miami.
89
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,044
Why would you come
to a place like this?
90
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,884
Oh, poor, poor Rose.
91
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:50,591
I still don't understand
why we can't serve
my lasagna every night.
92
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,227
Sophia, I told you,
we have to vary
the menu,
93
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,761
give the people
some choices.
94
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:55,996
They've got a choice.
95
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,031
They can either
eat my lasagna
or kiss my butt.
96
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,437
Okay, but does
your butt come
with soup and salad?
97
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,443
(sighs) What am I
going to do?
98
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,677
What's wrong, Blanche?
99
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:13,580
Sophia, I have
a big problem
and no one to talk to.
100
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:16,283
I just wish
Dorothy was here.
I need her advice.
101
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,751
What can't you talk to me?
102
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:21,221
Well, no offense, Sophia,
but Dorothy gives
the best advice.
103
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:23,156
She always knows
just what to say.
104
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:26,093
Hey, I always know
what to say,
you aging drag queen.
105
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,265
Now, what's the problem?
106
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:35,369
Well, all right, all right,
but this is a really big one.
107
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:39,506
Sophia, I'm afraid,
maybe Miles is
cheating on Rose,
108
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,743
and I‐I don't know what to do.
Should I tell her
or just forget it?
109
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,878
Oh, this screams
for a Sophia story.
110
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,346
But don't worry,
I won't make you beg.
111
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:51,518
Picture it,
Brooklyn, 1957.
112
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:54,254
Sophia, do I really have to
stand here and listen to
one of your stories?
113
00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:55,722
Can't you just get
to the point?
114
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,058
Would you tell Aesop
to "just get to the point"?
115
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,827
Would you tell
the Brothers Grimm
to "just get to the point"?
116
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,296
Would you tell, uh...
117
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,898
‐Who else tells stories?
‐Mark twain.
118
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:05,933
Too folksy.
119
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,335
O. Henry.
120
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,571
‐Too ironic.
‐Ray Bradbury.
121
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,307
Science fiction? (scoffs)
122
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:16,410
‐Get to the point!
‐Fine. Here it is.
123
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:19,680
And that's why I stopped
making polio vaccine
from scratch.
124
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:26,653
I don't understand.
125
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,889
Not my problem,
Miss Get‐To‐The‐Point.
126
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:35,796
(exhales sharply) Well, uh,
Blanche, maybe I can be
of some assistance.
127
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,698
I have a little bit
of expertise
in the field.
128
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,067
You see, somebody
cheated on me once,
129
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,735
somebody I loved
and trusted.
130
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,204
My wife.
131
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,240
Well, my "ex‐wife."
132
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,876
Actually, I'd love to say
"my late ex‐wife,"
but she's still‐‐
133
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,712
Get to the point.
Any point.
134
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:55,148
Oh, okay. Well,
the point is that...
135
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,850
I think
you should tell Rose,
136
00:06:56,884 --> 00:07:00,420
'cause I wouldn't
want her to find out
like I found out.
137
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:03,156
‐H‐how did you find out?
‐Graffiti.
138
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:11,999
Excuse me.
139
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,001
Have you found
a pair of sunglasses?
140
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,504
‐Are these them?
‐Yes!
141
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:19,339
Lobby tax.
142
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,042
Of course.
143
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,844
‐Here's $5.00.
‐Thank you.
144
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,549
This isn't
what you think.
145
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,717
How can you
look me in the eyes?
146
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,452
I did nothing wrong.
I was just‐‐
147
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:34,855
I mean, you're just a kid.
How come you're
as tall as I am?
148
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,762
What's going on here?
149
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:45,732
Okay. So I was using
the lost‐and‐found
to make a couple of bucks.
150
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:49,436
But I earned it.
I was being enterprising.
What's the big deal?
151
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,272
The big deal is
you were doing something
called "extortion."
152
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:54,141
You're not going to tell
Roland, are you?
153
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,876
Of course, I am.
I have to set
an example
154
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,344
so you know
right from wrong.
155
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,214
But then again,
156
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:03,317
five dollars
could make me forget
this whole sordid incident.
157
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:07,287
What?
158
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,656
To be honest,
I'll probably
forget anyway,
159
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,191
but five bucks
will seal the deal.
160
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,061
But that's blackmail.
161
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,029
It's just as bad
as extortion.
162
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:20,534
Such a little boy to be
using such big words.
163
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,436
‐Cough it up!
‐(hesitantly) Mmh.
164
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,208
Penny for your thoughts,
Sophia.
165
00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:29,810
You're stupid,
and that's on the house.
166
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,116
Rose...
167
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,219
We have to talk.
168
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:41,188
Oh, no. This is
bad news, isn't it?
169
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,657
Conversations
that start with,
"we have to talk"
170
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,859
always end
with bad news.
171
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,227
Rose, let's sit down.
172
00:08:47,261 --> 00:08:49,263
Oh, my God.
173
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,732
First, "we have to talk"
and "let's sit down"?
174
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:52,966
Somebody died.
175
00:08:54,168 --> 00:08:56,236
‐It's about Miles.
‐Miles is dead?
176
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:58,672
No. No,
Miles is alive.
177
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,107
Very much alive.
178
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,075
In fact, Rose,
179
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,678
I have proof that
180
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:08,048
‐Miles has been
unfaithful to you.
‐What?
181
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,350
Today, going through
the guest ledgers,
182
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:13,687
I found his name.
Several times.
183
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,355
Before we bought
this hotel,
184
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,391
Miles was a regular
on Wednesday nights.
185
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:18,792
Roland has seen him here.
186
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,827
Wednesday is the night
he plays poker.
187
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,131
Apparently so.
188
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,205
Well, there must be
some explanation.
189
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,974
Just think about it, Rose.
Hasn't he been canceling
a lot of dates lately?
190
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,710
Well, that's because
he's had a lot
of meetings lately.
191
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:37,778
Meetings...
192
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:39,680
at night.
193
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,683
Mm‐hmm.
And this also explains
194
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,685
why he hasn't been
by to see the hotel yet.
195
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,053
Oh, trust me
on this, Rose.
196
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:49,690
Honey, I know when
a man's been cheatin'.
I can sense it.
197
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:53,060
When I get this tense,
tight feeling in my loins,
198
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,596
it speaks to me.
It says "adultery"!
199
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,635
Boy, and I thought
Señor Wences
was talented.
200
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,274
Honey, I'm so sorry
about this.
201
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,976
Well, this just doesn't
make any sense.
202
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,212
Miles loves me.
I know he does.
203
00:10:12,246 --> 00:10:14,214
Oh, God, what
am I gonna do now?
204
00:10:14,248 --> 00:10:16,650
This whole thing
just makes me so furious.
(breathing heavily)
205
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,752
Isn't it typical of a man?
206
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,587
You know what
Miles Webber is?
207
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:23,223
He's...he's...
He's here!
208
00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:25,692
‐Oh, my God.
Rose, he's here.
‐Oh. Okay, listen.
209
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:28,095
I‐I want us both to act
as if nothing has happened.
210
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,030
I wanna give Miles
a chance to explain.
211
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,332
Hey, will you look
at this place?
212
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:34,868
Blanche, Rose,
it is beautiful!
213
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:37,771
I'm sorry I'm late, honey.
But at least, I finally
got here.
214
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,540
What took you so long,
sweetheart?
215
00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:41,742
Well, after the meeting,
I stopped off,
got a sandwich.
216
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:44,344
Oh, sure. "A sandwich."
That's a good one.
217
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:47,881
Blanche, please,
we agreed.
218
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:50,050
What kind of
a sandwich, sweetheart?
219
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,085
‐Well, it was tuna fish.
‐Liar!
220
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,120
(gasps)
221
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,792
All right.
It was a cheeseburger.
222
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:02,262
I didn't want to hear
that cholesterol
speech again.
223
00:11:02,296 --> 00:11:05,799
Was the sex
better with her?
And don't lie again.
224
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,968
Sex? What are you
talking about?
225
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,137
She knows you've been
cheating on her, Miles.
I told her.
226
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,739
‐You did what?
‐It's no use.
227
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:16,109
We know you've been
coming to this hotel for
a long time with other women.
228
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:19,046
‐I saw your name
in the guest register.
‐That's impossible!
229
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:21,248
I've never been
to his hotel before
in my life!
230
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,318
‐Hey, w‐what's going on here?
‐Stop it! Just stop it!
231
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:25,519
I deserve better than this.
232
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:29,056
‐(nervously) Rose,
calm down now.
‐You never loved me.
233
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,526
‐Just admit it!
You never loved me.
‐Rose, that's not true.
234
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,729
‐Ro...Rose!
‐(Roland applauding, laughs)
235
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,931
And please,
let's have a nice
round of applause
236
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,867
for our very own
Golden Palace players
237
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,336
in their living
theater production of...
238
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,370
Come Back, Little Sheba.
239
00:11:45,339 --> 00:11:47,641
Thank you.
Thank you.
240
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:50,043
And please,
join us tomorrow
when we will do
241
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:53,247
our critically acclaimed
version of Li'l Abner.
Thank you.
242
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,182
Good night.
Good night.
243
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,316
All right. Come on.
244
00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:59,353
Blanche!
I don't know why
you did that,
245
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,855
but you have destroyed
our relationship.
246
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,390
I hope you're satisfied.
247
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,560
Oh, the nerve of him!
248
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:09,963
Caught red‐handed,
and he still lies
through his teeth.
249
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:12,199
But you can't fool
Blanche Devereaux.
250
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:15,769
I could see the pathetic
grasping desperation
251
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:18,639
all over Miles'
guilt‐ridden face.
252
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,407
Wait. Hold it.
That was Miles?
253
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,843
‐Oh, boy.
‐What is it?
254
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:26,880
Blanche, there is a Miles Webber
who is a regular at this hotel,
but that wasn't him.
255
00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:29,650
Oops.
256
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,096
Here, Rose, drink this.
257
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,132
Maybe I overreacted.
258
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,768
I should have given Miles
a chance to explain.
259
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,469
Hey, there is no excuse.
260
00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:52,439
That guy doesn't deserve
a beautiful woman like you.
261
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,674
You know what you should do?
262
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:55,509
You should go out
and find yourself
another boyfriend.
263
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:56,944
You know, it would
serve him right
264
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,780
if‐if I went out
and had an affair
with another man,
265
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,715
‐Yeah.
‐A real man.
266
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:02,783
That'd teach him.
267
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,352
Boy, if I could
lay my hands
268
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,888
on some virile,
masculine hunk,
269
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:08,989
I'd do it.
270
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,166
(clears throat)
271
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,501
I've worn
women's clothing.
272
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,338
Really?
273
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,806
I never felt so free.
274
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,776
Maybe I'm just
kidding myself.
275
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:33,313
I mean, Miles would never
be threatened by
just anybody.
276
00:13:33,347 --> 00:13:36,984
It would have
to be somebody dark
and mysterious,
277
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,520
someone dangerous
and forbidden.
278
00:13:39,553 --> 00:13:40,754
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
279
00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:45,392
Roland, what are you
doing tonight?
280
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,827
I don't really have
any plans.
281
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:50,631
(clears throat) Because Rose
is looking for a real man
to sleep with.
282
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,332
Aside from painting
my toenails.
283
00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:56,937
Darn!
284
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,273
I'll never find anybody
as good as Miles.
285
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,475
Wait a minute. You're not
still breaking up
with Miles, are you?
286
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,211
After what he did?
Of course.
287
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:07,247
Oh, Roland, promise me,
when you settle down
with a woman...
288
00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:09,483
or whoever...
289
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,553
that you'll be faithful.
290
00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:14,555
Wait a minute.
Didn't Blanche
tell you what happened?
291
00:14:14,588 --> 00:14:16,957
‐About what?
‐Oh, Rose,
292
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,526
there is a Miles Webber
who's a regular at this hotel,
293
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,229
but that's a different
Miles Webber than
your Miles Webber.
294
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,932
‐I told Blanche that
two hours ago.
‐What?
295
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,035
Oh, uh, I'm sorry.
296
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,303
It's okay.
297
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:33,073
Now if you'll both
excuse me,
298
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,409
I have to go kick
some gravy‐sucking,
299
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,678
gopher‐eating,
cousin‐humping
southern butt
300
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,012
from here to Chattanooga!
301
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,016
Excuse me.
302
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,018
I didn't order
a baked potato.
303
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,854
I ordered rice!
304
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:47,888
All right.
305
00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:50,924
We need rice!
306
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:03,437
‐Rose, I have something
to tell you.
‐I bet.
307
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,039
What lies are you
going to tell me
about Miles this time?
308
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,342
How many women
he cheated on me with?
309
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:11,111
How many times he did it
while I was on vacation?
310
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,514
How he liked to cut
pictures of Jackie Collins
311
00:15:13,547 --> 00:15:16,283
out of old People magazines
and sleep with them
under his pillow?
312
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,785
Well, tell me something
I don't know, Blanche!
313
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,626
You told her
about Miles!
314
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:27,661
You couldn't wait
for me to do it?
315
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:28,962
How did I get
involved in this?
316
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,998
I distinctly remember
trying not to get
involved in this.
317
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,502
Rose, I swear,
I was only trying
to be a good friend.
318
00:15:35,536 --> 00:15:37,638
Don't give me that.
Why didn't you
tell me immediately
319
00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:39,540
this was all
a misunderstanding?
320
00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:42,843
Well, I wanted to,
but it was hard for me.
(sniffles)
321
00:15:42,876 --> 00:15:45,846
I was scared. I was afraid
you might get mad at me.
322
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,983
I guess I shouldn't
be surprised.
323
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:53,320
Because like always,
you were too concerned
with Blanche,
324
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:55,656
about what would
happen to you.
You cared more about that
325
00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:57,558
than my relationship
with Miles.
326
00:15:57,591 --> 00:15:58,992
Some "friend."
327
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,328
‐Ladies, please. I don't think
we should do‐‐
‐You stay out of this.
328
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,763
You've said enough!
329
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,665
Well, as far as
I'm concerned,
330
00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:07,067
‐our friendship is over!
‐(man) Yes!
331
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:09,469
Bravo!
332
00:16:09,503 --> 00:16:10,504
Bravo!
333
00:16:26,687 --> 00:16:28,722
Hey, guys, Rose
wanted some decaf.
334
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:31,725
‐Oh, okay. Oh, whoa!
C‐come here, little man.
‐Hmm?
335
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,861
Sophia tells me
you've been using
the lost‐and‐found
336
00:16:33,894 --> 00:16:35,929
to extort money
from the guests.
337
00:16:35,963 --> 00:16:37,130
Now, you know
better than that.
338
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,433
I gave her five bucks
not to tell.
339
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,301
Don't interrupt. Chuy?
340
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,839
Look, the point is that
we all care about you.
341
00:16:45,873 --> 00:16:48,141
We want you to grow up
knowing right from wrong.
342
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,810
You know, we're trying
to be role models for you.
343
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,645
But she took my five bucks.
344
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,114
Okay, some of us are doing
a better job than others.
345
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,285
Look, I know what
you're trying to do.
346
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,153
You're trying
to make easy money.
347
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,656
I just want you to promise me
you won't do it anymore, okay?
348
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:05,792
‐All right, I promise.
‐Okay.
349
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:08,262
Is there any chance of me
getting my five bucks back?
350
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:10,964
There just may be five dollars
waiting for you on your dresser.
351
00:17:10,998 --> 00:17:12,366
Really? Great!
352
00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:16,336
Why can't I feel guilt?
353
00:17:22,176 --> 00:17:24,811
It's just one of those
silly coincidences,
that's all.
354
00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:26,647
(sighs) Oh, thank you,
sweetheart.
355
00:17:34,855 --> 00:17:37,090
Oh, I feel
so dumb, Miles.
356
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,660
Oh, Rose. It was just
an honest mistake.
357
00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:42,262
Oh, but I must have been
out of my mind.
358
00:17:42,296 --> 00:17:44,164
(sighs)
359
00:17:44,198 --> 00:17:46,333
I even planned a way
to get back at you.
360
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,202
Oh, revenge, huh?
361
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:51,939
(laughs) You're so cute.
What were you
going to do?
362
00:17:51,972 --> 00:17:53,774
Call me on the phone
and hang up?
363
00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:56,810
Ring the doorbell
and run away? (laughs)
364
00:17:56,844 --> 00:17:59,847
I hired an ex‐green beret
to tamper with your brakes.
365
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,356
But don't worry, I decided
at the last second
366
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:11,124
I couldn't
go through with it.
367
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:12,659
You were still my fella.
368
00:18:12,693 --> 00:18:14,127
And you will always be...
369
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,596
What do you mean,
"at the last second"?
370
00:18:17,598 --> 00:18:20,267
Oh, I'm so glad
this is all behind us.
371
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,803
Now, I just have to figure
how I can work here
372
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:24,738
without ever
talking to Blanche.
373
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,875
Oh, Rose, I think
you're overreacting.
374
00:18:27,908 --> 00:18:30,544
And I'm also upset
with Sophia.
375
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,845
She was
a little too eager
376
00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:34,581
to give me that
green beret's phone number.
377
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:35,916
(Miles laughs)
378
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:39,620
Look, I think you ought
to forgive Blanche.
379
00:18:39,653 --> 00:18:41,955
Listen, I was upset, too,
380
00:18:41,989 --> 00:18:44,591
but we're human.
We all make mistakes, Rose.
381
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:48,095
But Miles, she tried
to make me think
you were cheating on me.
382
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:51,398
Although, I'd have to
be a pretty big idiot
to believe it.
383
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:56,103
The very idea
of you cheating on me.
384
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:59,339
(chuckles) It's really silly
when you think of it.
385
00:19:08,749 --> 00:19:09,750
Rose...
386
00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:12,052
We have to talk.
387
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:14,922
I sure hope
you're about to
tell me somebody died.
388
00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:19,193
About six months ago,
Rose, I...
389
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:22,930
I was eating in a restaurant,
and I met this waitress.
390
00:19:22,963 --> 00:19:24,998
Her name is Fern,
391
00:19:25,032 --> 00:19:28,135
and we...
we got to talking,
392
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,304
and, well, her husband
had just died, and‐‐
393
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,306
Oh, thank God.
Somebody died.
394
00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,910
No, sweetheart.
That's not where I'm going.
395
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:38,946
Oh?
396
00:19:38,979 --> 00:19:42,482
We found we had
so much in common, we...
397
00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:46,220
We've developed a very
special relationship.
398
00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,422
We've become
very close, Rose.
399
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:51,491
‐I don't believe this.
‐Sweetheart, I‐I didn't mean
400
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:52,960
to fall in love
with two women,
401
00:19:52,993 --> 00:19:54,995
but I did,
and I'm very confused.
402
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,196
(sighs)
403
00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:58,265
Rose, I‐I don't know
what to do.
404
00:19:58,298 --> 00:19:59,833
At my age, I...
405
00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:02,436
I can't afford to make
the wrong choice.
406
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,204
Choice?
407
00:20:04,238 --> 00:20:06,507
This isn't
the Pepsi Challenge, Miles.
408
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,445
When I think of all
that we've shared,
409
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,981
and‐and for you
not to be sure.
410
00:20:14,014 --> 00:20:16,083
I thought if we could
talk about it,
411
00:20:16,116 --> 00:20:18,151
maybe we'll work
something out.
412
00:20:18,185 --> 00:20:22,890
Miles, If you don't know by now
that I'm the only one for you,
413
00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:24,625
there's nothing
to work out.
414
00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:25,792
Oh, no, Rose‐‐
415
00:20:25,826 --> 00:20:27,661
‐I just want you to leave.
‐Rose, don't...
416
00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:40,908
Miles?
417
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:44,945
Why did you
decide to tell me?
418
00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:48,282
Well, even though Blanche
didn't get her facts straight,
419
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:49,950
somehow, she was
right about me.
420
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,387
Her loins can talk,
you know.
421
00:21:01,562 --> 00:21:02,796
That's nice, Rose.
422
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,166
But I realized that
423
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,069
Blanche is a better friend
to you than I am,
424
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:11,338
and I couldn't
let you throw
that friendship away.
425
00:21:12,906 --> 00:21:14,575
Thank you.
426
00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,710
(exhales sharply)
You think maybe...
427
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:20,881
Maybe someday, uh...
428
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:24,017
(somber music playing)
429
00:21:46,907 --> 00:21:48,909
Oh. Oh, Rose, honey.
430
00:21:48,942 --> 00:21:52,779
Roland told me
about Miles.
I am so sorry.
431
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:55,782
I'm so sorry
for all the things
I said to you.
432
00:21:55,816 --> 00:21:57,351
It turns out
you were right.
433
00:21:57,384 --> 00:21:59,286
Wish I hadn't been.
434
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:02,890
He's gone, Blanche.
Miles is gone.
435
00:22:02,923 --> 00:22:05,092
Oh, God. What am I
supposed to do now?
436
00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:08,028
Well, y‐you could try doing
what I always do
437
00:22:08,061 --> 00:22:09,763
when a relationship ends.
438
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:13,033
Blanche, I'm not going
to get naked and call
the fire department.
439
00:22:23,477 --> 00:22:25,579
They're public servants.
You pay your taxes.
440
00:22:29,216 --> 00:22:30,784
All right. All right.
441
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:34,321
Why don't you just
try thinking of this
as a new beginning?
442
00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:36,356
Oh, Rose, you're
very special, and...
443
00:22:36,390 --> 00:22:38,258
And if this didn't work out,
it's probably because
444
00:22:38,292 --> 00:22:41,228
there's somebody out there
even more wonderful
just waiting for you.
445
00:22:42,629 --> 00:22:43,630
I just thought...
446
00:22:44,565 --> 00:22:45,799
Miles was the one.
447
00:22:51,071 --> 00:22:52,639
This is without a doubt
448
00:22:52,673 --> 00:22:56,243
the worst production
of Li'l Abner
I have ever seen!
449
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:11,825
Listen, I'm perfectly capable
of driving myself to the store.
450
00:23:11,859 --> 00:23:14,795
We've been over this.
I take you
or you don't go at all.
451
00:23:14,828 --> 00:23:17,130
You're not gonna treat me
this way. I won't let you
treat me this way.
452
00:23:17,164 --> 00:23:18,198
‐Rose‐‐
‐Ssh.
453
00:23:18,232 --> 00:23:19,900
So, leave me alone.
I'm going to the store.
454
00:23:19,933 --> 00:23:22,302
Crazy old woman.
Crazy old woman!
455
00:23:22,336 --> 00:23:23,804
What's goin' on?
456
00:23:23,837 --> 00:23:25,839
I think they're doing
Driving Miss Daisy.
35062
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