Original subtitles

Co-starring Gale Gordon.

Never on time, always late, always.

But what can we do about it?

Late, late, late. Oh, yes...

What's your excuse this time?

All right, Mrs. Carmichael, you might as well answer,

I know you're there.

You must have eyes in the back of your head.

Maybe I do, and wouldn't we make a peach of a pair

if you had a head in back of your eyes?

Oh!

- Really, Mr. Mooney. - Mrs. Carmichael,

how are you at imitations?

- Imitations? - Mm?

Oh, why, pretty good, I guess.

Fine, then imitate a secretary and look busy!

- And snap to it. - Yes, sir.

Mr. Cheever said he'd be in in a few moments

on a matter of great importance.

Oh, I hope I haven't done anything wrong.

- Cheever just gets so upset... - Mr. Mooney?

- What, what? - Are you afraid of Mr. Cheever?

- Me afraid of Mr. Cheever? - Yeah.

Well, of course not. How could you ask such a thing?

- Well, I thought... - I kowtow to nobody.

- No, sir, you... - Nobody!

- Mooney. - Oh, Mr. Cheever, sir.

Oh, glad to see you. How are you, sir? How do you feel?

Oh, you're looking fine... Ey... Um... Ahem. Uh...

Won't you sir down, sit?

- Won't you sit down, sir? - No.

No, sir. I mean, yes, sir, yes.

Mooney, I have a young nephew, Thomas Cheever,

- he starts work at the bank today. - Oh, splendid, sir.

Shall we say that a small acorn has fallen from the mighty oak?

That's good phrasing, Mooney.

But unfortunately, in this case, the acorn is a real nut.

- Oh? - He doesn't want to become a banker.

He doesn't want to become a banker?

He wants to go into show business.

Oh, the shame of it.

Oh, my condolences, sir.

- Oh, it's a sad state of affairs. - Oh.

Well, gee, Mr. Cheever, you can't blame a young fella

for wanting to get into something that's a little more fun.

- More fun than banking? - More fun than banking?

I... I... I... I just meant something like auditing or accounting.

Well, those are both worthy,

but hardly the excitement of banking.

Oh, true, true.

Now, Mooney, I'm turning this irresponsible lad over to you,

you have sole responsibility for him.

Mr. Cheever, sir, I shall mold him in my own image.

Well, I had hoped that we could set our sights a little higher.

- However, I'll bring him in now. - Oh, yes, sir.

- Oh, and, Mrs. Carmichael, - Yes, sir.

I would appreciate any help on your part to guide this boy.

Yes, sir, I assure you I will give him the benefit of all my experience

and knowledge of the banking profession.

Come here, Thomas.

Now, Thomas, my boy, this is Mr. Mooney.

- How you do, sir? - Welcome aboard, my boy.

And this is Mr. Mooney's secretary, Mrs. Carmichael.

- Very nice meeting you. - Hi, Tom.

Now, as you know, from this moment on,

you will take your orders from Mr. Mooney.

I'd rather take my orders from Mrs. Carmichael.

- Watch it, boy. - Yeah, watch it, boy.

There is no place in banking for levity.

Sorry, Uncle Windy.

Now, Thomas, remember one thing.

At the bank, I am known as Mr. Cheever.

Yes, Uncle Windy. Oh, I mean, yes, sir.

Windy is a diminutive of my middle name, Winfield.

Oh, I thought it was because you're always so...

A very distinguished name, Winfield.

Mooney, I want you to start the indoctrination immediately.

Yes, sir, yes, sir.

Now, young man, what phase of the banking business interests you?

Well, I've always got a kick out of cashing checks.

Enough of that.

Now, Thomas, you are just an employee here.

You are to receive no special consideration,

no favoritism whatsoever.

- Do you understand that? - Yes, sir.

- Mooney, do you understand? - Yes...

- In this bank, he is not my nephew. - Oh, yes, sir, yes, sir.

- Now take over. - Yes, sir. I'll...

Yes, sir.

Well, now, young Cheever, you and I will have a little talk.

- Yes, sir. - Well, take your seat.

Y... Oh! Oh. Here, here we are.

Oh.

Now, despite the fact that your uncle owns the bank,

you will be shown no special consideration.

- Is that clear? - Oh, yes, sir.

And another thing, do not... Are you comfy?

- Fine, thanks. - Oh. Good.

Now, don't expect any personal privileges.

You will be treated just like any other employee.

That's the only way I'd want it, sir.

And that's the way it's going to be.

Just another member of the crew getting no special attention.

Ahem. Now, Mrs. Carmichael, you heard what I just said,

I trust that you will cooperate.

Oh, absolutely, no special attention.

Right.

Oh, Mr. Mooney, I think his light is going out.

Oh, forgive me.

Hi, Mrs. Carmichael.

Oh, hi, Tommy. Come on in.

Pull up a chair.

Or should I get Mr. Mooney to do it for you?

No, that's all right. I majored in chair-sitting in kindergarten.

Well, Tommy, how do you like being a banker?

Oh, I don't know, I don't know.

I think it's real bad casting for anyone with acting ambitions.

Yeah.

You know, Tommy, Hollywood is filled with people

who think they're actors, even me.

- You? - Yeah.

When I first came out here, I wanted to be an actress.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

It took me a long time to realize that I just did not have it.

Well, everybody can't be another Annette Funicello.

Well, that's true.

You know, you have one thing going for you in the banking business

that you don't in show business.

- What's that? - An uncle who owns the joint.

Can't argue with that.

Hey, you want a bottle of pop?

- I have some lemon and strawberry. - I'll have lemon.

Let's see, that's under C.

- C for "lemon"? - Yeah, cold lemon.

Oh.

Oh, that's one of my favorite numbers.

No kidding, that's one of my favorite songs too.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Especially that arrangement. - Ah.

There's a kind of walk you walk

When the world's undone you

There's a kind of walk you walk

When you're walking proud

There's a kind of walk you walk

When the neighbors shun you

There's a kind of walk you walk

Sets you above the crowd

There's a kind of walk you walk

When somebody loves you

That's very much Like walking on a cloud

A good fortune found you, chappie

And your heart's a happy valentine

When you're walking happy

Don't the blooming world seem fine?

So you had best believe it, chappie

You'll find that life is finger snappy

The day you learn that walking happy

Gives the world a shine

So just keep walking

Go and keep on walking

Just keep walking

Happy with your hand in mine

Oh. Tommy, that was darling.

Gee, Tommy, what a voice. You are sensational.

You didn't tell me you could sing.

Well, I never thought my voice was any more than average.

Well, now, if that is an average voice,

Elizabeth Taylor is an average housewife.

Boy, you have got talent. I can't believe...

Mr. Mooney, we have got to get Tommy out of here.

- What? - He should not be wasted in a bank.

He should be in show business.

Mrs. Carmichael, wash your mouth out with soap.

Now, my boy, forget show business,

your uncle has your best interests at heart.

I appreciate that, sir,

but if Mrs. Carmichael thinks...

Oh, well, there goes your argument right there.

Mrs. Carmichael does not think.

Mr. Mooney, I'm willing to forgive all the nasty things

you say about me if you will just listen to Tommy sing.

Now, please.

Please!

All right, no one has ever accused me of having a closed mind.

Very well, go ahead, sing.

There's a kind of walk...

That's enough, you'll never make it.

Well, some audition.

Dizzy Gillespie would have had a better chance with Lawrence Welk.

Mrs. Carmichael, if you so much as mention show business

in front of this young man again, I will have you dunked in gold,

sent to Fort Knox, sliced into ingots of bullion,

and then I shall take great joy in personally firing you

ingot by ingot.

"Ingot by ingot." Who does he think he is, Goldfinger?

Mrs. Carmichael, look, I really appreciate your interest,

but I don't want you getting into trouble.

Oh, who needs this job?

I'm getting my Social Security in another...

Forty years.

Anyway, I think you're so good, I'm willing to take the risk.

Oh, thanks, but I don't think that it's...

Tommy, you know what?

We gotta get you an audition.

- An audition? - Yeah.

And why not go right to the top? Nelson Penrose.

Nelson Penrose?

- The movie producer? - Yeah.

- You know him? - Well, practically.

A friend of mine is secretary to one of his secretaries.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

The closest I ever came was meeting the gatekeeper's brother-in-law.

Yeah, well, Mary Jane, my friend, knows him,

and she'd be very glad to do me a favor.

How will I ever be able to thank you?

Oh, that's all right, don't you even think about that. Ha-ha.

Of course, when you get to be a big star,

if you ever need a leading lady.

Bit player?

An extra?

Okay, I'll be president of your Fort Knox Fan Club.

Oh.

- What a good dinner. - Thank you.

The lobster was delicious, where'd you get them?

I had them flown in from Maine.

Well, that must have cost a fortune.

A whole week's salary. They refused to fly family plan.

Well, let's get to the dishes.

Oh, no, you don't, you're my guest.

- I'll do the dishes later. - Well.

Well, after all, you put in a hard day at the studio,

I want you to just sit and relax, and we'll talk.

- Lucy. - Hmm?

I get the feeling you're about to ask me for a favor.

A favor?

Now, when did I ever ask you for a favor?

Well, let's see,

Tuesday, you borrowed five dollars,

Wednesday, I went shopping for you,

Thursday, I picked up your laundry,

Friday, you borrowed my car,

and that's my dress you're wearing.

You've had it for over two weeks.

What about the green dress I loaned you last month?

That was my green dress and you were returning it.

Boy, you got a memory like an elephant,

and an appetite to match.

Okay, what's the favor?

Mr. Cheever's nephew down at the bank

has the greatest voice you have ever heard, he is just sensational.

He sings up a storm, he's a natural, personality and everything.

And you've just got to arrange an audition for him with Mr. Penrose.

An audition for Mr. Pen...?

Lucy, you didn't have to go to all this trouble for that,

all you had to do is just ask me.

- You'll do it? - No.

- No? - No.

Well, fine friend you are.

Honey, I would be thrown right out of the office

if I even mentioned "audition" to Mr. Penrose.

He never auditions anybody.

What do you mean he never auditions anyone?

I've seen his pictures, he's always bringing out new talent.

Well, true, but you can't bring people to him,

he likes to go out and discover talent himself.

Oh, he's his own talent scout, huh?

Yeah, you wouldn't believe where he finds some of his stars.

- Where? - Car washes, laundries,

bowling alleys. One was a hostess on a live-bait boat.

A live-bait boat?

In fact, last month when Mr. Penrose got hit by a truck,

instead of suing the driver, he signed him up.

Hey, Tommy's got a car, where does Penrose do his walking?

No.

- Wait a minute. - What?

Do you know where Mr. Penrose is gonna find his next star?

- Where? - In our bank.

- Your bank? - Yes.

Now, let's see. How am I gonna get Mr. Penrose over to the bank?

He's a client, but he doesn't come in very often.

Uh... I know, I know, I'll call him and tell him

somebody forged his name on a check.

And then he'll have to come in to verify the signature.

Yeah, and then what?

Well, I'll have Tommy ready to audition for him.

I'll get some of the people at the bank to help me.

- Yeah? - And then

Penrose will discover Tommy, Tommy will be signed for pictures,

and I will be President of the Fort Knox Fan Club.

- What? - Never mind, it'll work.

Lucy, you've got the most conniving mind west of the Mississippi,

and I'm proud to be your friend.

Well, thank you. Would you like to prove that?

- Sure, what do you want me to do? - The dishes.

Who do you think you are, company? Come on now.

Tommy, I don't know what's keeping Mr. Penrose.

He should have been here by now.

Oh, I hope he shows up.

So do I, before Mr. Mooney gets back

from that wild-goose chase I sent him on.

Go on, you get back to the window.

Good morning, Mr. Penrose, we've been expecting you.

What's all this nonsense about a forged check?

Well, we think it's forged, sir,

and we just need you to personally verify the signature.

Young lady, I'm a very busy man.

My studio comes to a complete standstill without me.

- Yes, sir. - May I have the check?

Well, that handsome young man right over there at Window 1 has it.

- Young man? - Oh, Mr. Penrose.

- Can I see that check. - Oh, yes, the check, sir.

That is not my signature.

That's exactly what we thought, sir.

Because...

We looked it over Now we're in clover

Because we didn't cash the check

The P was too wobbly The E was too small

The N was too loopy

The R, it was tall

So please don't be nervous We give great service

We won't let it happen again

We'll find this forger And believe me, by Georger

We'll get him in the end He won't have a friend

And he won't need a pen in the pen

Do you always serenade the bank's customers like this?

Do I always serenade the bank's customers like this?

Oh, no, sir, no, sir.

Only the bank's most important customers.

Young man, you have a fine voice, and a very nice manner about you.

Have you ever thought of going into show business?

Me, in show business?

Oh, Mr. Penrose, whatever would make you think

that a brilliant young banker would ever want to become a movie star?

He'd never consider it.

He'd start at $1000 a week.

He'd consider it.

Son, do you know any other numbers?

Does he know any other numbers?

Oh, Mr. Penrose, you just sit down and relax and listen to this boy.

Doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo

- Yeah, you're gonna know - Yeah, you're gonna know

- When the feeling hits you - Hits you

- Well, you're gonna know - Yeah, you're gonna know

- When it starts to get you - Get you

Clap your hands From the morning till night

The people make you holler Everything's all right

- Then say, "Oh, whoa, whoa" - Oh, oh

- When the feeling hits you - Feeling hits

- Yeah, you're gonna dance - Oh

- And you're gonna shout it - Shout it

- Yeah, you're gonna dance - Yeah

- Ain't no doubt about it, now - About it

Clap your hands From the morning till night

The people make you holler Everything's all right

- They say, "Oh, whoa, whoa" - Oh, oh

- When the feeling hits you - It hits you

Whoa, feeling in your soul

Just a little bit more

- You're gonna know - Yeah, you're gonna know

- When the feeling hits you - Hits you

- Yeah, you're gonna know - Yeah, you're gonna know

- When it starts to get you - Get you

Clap your hands From the morning till night

The people make you holler Everything's all right

They say, "Oh, whoa, whoa"

- When the feeling hits you - Feeling hits

- Well, everybody say, "Whoa" - Whoa

- Whoa - Whoa

- Oh, oh - Oh, oh

Uh uh uh uh uh uh

Whoa, feeling in your soul

The feeling's got you And it won't let go

Yeah Whoa

Just a little bit more Just a little bit more

Just a little bit more Just a little, just a little bit more

- Well, you're gonna know - Well, you're gonna know

- When the feeling hits you - Hits you

- Yeah, you're gonna know it now - You're gonna know

- When it starts to get you - Get you

Clap your hands From the morning till night

The people make you holler Everything's all right

They say, "Oh, whoa, whoa"

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh

- You got that feeling - Got that feeling

- Well, you got that feeling - Got that feeling

When you clap your hands You're gonna get that feeling

From morning

Till night

Yeah, yeah

Whoa, yeah

What's going on here?

What's going on here?

Who dares mock the boss?

Who...? Oh, the boss.

Tommy's going into show business.

- Show business? - Yes.

Mooney, you're fired.

Mrs. Carmichael, you're fired.

Tommy, you're fired.

Tommy, you're fired.

Now you can accept Mr. Penrose's offer of $1000 a week.

A thousand dollars a week?

A thousand dollars a week?

A thousand dollars a week.

And if anybody gets fired because of this,

I'll never borrow another penny from this bank.

Sing, Tommy boy.

You heard your Uncle Windy,

sing, Tommy boy!

Clap your hands From the morning till night

The people make you holler Everything's all right

They say, "Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa"

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh

- You got that feeling - Got that feeling

- When you got that feeling - Got that feeling

When you clap your hands

Gonna get that feeling From morning

Till night