All language subtitles for Lucy Show S03E06 Lucy, the Camp Cook.SP.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.CBS

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Okay, she'll be right out!

Chris, Cynthia's folks are here!

Hey, Viv, hurry up!

Visitors day will be
over before we get there!

Oh, listen, Viv, would you
bring my suitcase out here?

It's right there in
the living room.

Brother, are we going
to camp for visitors day,

or are you planning to stop
over at a bricklayers convention?

Well, Jerry asked me to
bring up his Beatle records.

Oh... I don't see why

those Beatles had to
make so many records.

They all sound the same.

Well, now, to you maybe,

but not to the trained ear of
a nine-year-old music lover.

I just don't see why you want
to lug 'em all the way to camp.

We're bringing the
kids home tonight.

Well, I wanted to make their
last day at camp a happy one.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Gee, I sure wish we could
get hold of some money

so they could stay
that extra two weeks.

You know, I hope the
kids won't be too upset

when you tell 'em.

Yeah, I hope they won't...

When I tell 'em?

Why me?

Well, now, you know
how chicken I get

every time I have to
do something distasteful.

Well, if you're so chicken,
why don't you cackle

and lay an egg every time
you have to ask me for the rent?

Oh, Viv!

Well, I'm off.

Oh, you're off, honey.

- Good-bye, Aunt Viv.
- Have a wonderful time.

- Oh, thank you.
- A marvelous time. Bye-bye.

Mom, I'll see you
in a couple weeks.

Is that what you're wearing?

But, Mother, this is what
all the girls are wearing.

It's what all the boys
are wearing, too.

Oh, I gotta get going.

- Well, enjoy yourself, honey.
- Thank you.

Ooh, Aunt Viv, be
careful driving up to camp.

Oh, we're not driving.
Mr. Mooney's gonna go up

and visit his son,
so he's taking us.

Oh, good, then I
won't have to worry.

Okay, honey, have a good time.

- Bye. Thank you.
- Bye, honey, have fun.

Be a good girl now.
Bye-bye, everybody.

Oh, gee, it's a shame the
boys have to come home.

But what can I do about it?

If I should ask
Mr. Mooney for money,

he'd just say no.

And if I threaten to take
my account to another bank,

he'd say, "Go ahead, take
your account to another bank.

"I couldn't care
less. Go, go, go.

Get out of my life."

- Lucy.
- What?

Do you know that every time
you talk about Mr. Mooney,

your neck turns four
shades redder than your hair?

Oh, well, I don't care.

He's so tight.

He really burns me up!

Good morning, ladies.

You miserable skinflint!

That's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.

But, uh, why the compliment?

Because if I ask you for
even a little bit of money,

you turn me down.

Mrs. Carmichael, the
Pentagon could use

a clear analytical
mind like yours.

Oh!

Oh, well, now that that's all
over, let's get started to camp.

What do you say?

Okay. You want me to drive?

Oh, that will be the day.

- Come on, Viv. Hurry up.
- Okay.

Oh, before we leave, I have
some rather pleasant news for you.

Oh, that will be the day.

A refund on your
last year's income tax.

Oh, no!

Viv! Viv, a hundred dollars!

Oh, our problems are solved.

Hooray!

Would you endorse that, please?

Oh, it will be a pleasure.

Oh, Mr. Mooney, you don't
know what this means to me.

True, but I know
what it means to me.

What?

It means that, at long
last, you've finally caught up

with some of the money
I've advanced you.

Thank you.

Oh, Mr. Mooney!

Oh, how can he be so mean?

Oh, it's nothing, really.

Compared to you, Jack
Benny is Diamond Jim Brady.

Oh, come along.

This is gonna
be a real fun trip.

Oh, honestly.

No, pl-please. Allow me.

Well, thank you very much.

Oh!

- Oh, Mrs. Carmichael.
- Yeah?

Don't forget your suitcase.

Oh! We couldn't stop
for gas at that last station;

they didn't give trading stamps.

Oh, boy.

Well, ladies, it seems
there's only one fair way

for me to do this.

That's toss for it.

Toss for what?

To see which one of you
walks to the next gas station.

Oh, it's 11 miles down the road!

Why don't you go?

Mrs. Carmichael,
my back is killing me.

I haven't recovered from
trying to pick up your suitcase.

It's just 11 miles.

You go straight down
there, follow the white line.

Mr. Mooney, I have
a proposition for you.

If one of us goes for gas, will
you give me my check back?

Mrs. Carmichael, I didn't think
you would stoop to blackmail.

I'm not stooping to anything.

I'm too pooped to stoop.

Now, you can either
accept my little proposition

or walk to the gas
station yourself.

Well?

I'll accept your generous offer.

Start walking.

Oh, we have no
intention of walking.

We don't?

No, we'll get a lift
from a passing motorist.

Ah!

Why, we'll be here all day

before anybody
stops for you two!

Oh, no, we won't.

Now, cars always stop
for pretty girls, right, Viv?

- That's right.
- All right.

That's what I said.

We'll be here all day!

Come on, Viv.

Okay.

Are you ready? Watch this.

- Here comes one.
- Yeah.

Nice going.

Well, it's all your fault.

My fault?

They won't stop
if they see a man.

Get out of sight.

Out! Go on! Go on!

Oh, well...

Watch this.

Here comes one, Lucy.

Okay, ready?

Come on. Let's give it

that old Claudette
Colbert try, girl, huh?

- Okay.
- Oh, this will get 'em.

- Are you ready?
- Yeah. Here comes...

Here comes one. Ready?

- It worked!
- Yeah. It's two fellas.

And they're getting
out of the car.

Yeah.

Now, play it cool, Viv.
I'll do all the talking.

Okay.

What a place to change drivers.

Well, ladies, if I might
make a suggestion,

maybe I'd better try my luck.

You think you can do any better?

I certainly couldn't
do any worse.

All right, if you're
so smart, go ahead.

All right.

Oh, now, wait a minute, Lucy.

If a car stops for him,
we won't get the money.

If a car stops for him, we
don't deserve the money.

You got a point there.

Let him have his fun,
and then we'll take over.

Okay, go ahead. Get a ride.

All right.

We'll watch.

All right, all right!

Back of the car. Hide, hide!

I don't want to start out
with two strikes against me.

Go on. Get back there.

All right, down, down!

Hide, hide!

Oh!

Anything wrong?

Oh, why, yes.

Yes, as a matter of fact.

I, uh, I seem to
have run out of gas.

Oh, what a pity.

Yes. I, uh, I was wondering
if you could give me a lift

to the next service station.

Why, it would be a pleasure.

Hop in.

Thank you.

Oh, I'll go in first
and dust the seat...

big boy.

If one word of this
gets back to my wife,

so help me, I'll
foreclose your mortgage!

Okay, big boy.

Come on, Viv! Well, is
this your cabin, fellas?

Yeah, Mom, Sherman
and I sleep right here.

Really?

- The rest of the guys sleep over here.
- Oh.

We're the best group in camp.

Oh, did you hear that, Viv?

They're the best group in camp.

We call ourselves
"The Rat Finks."

The Rat Finks?

Is that good?

I suppose so.

Did you meet Mr. Slater yet?

No, but we sure would like to.

He's the best camp
director in the whole world.

He is?

We'll go get him.

- Come on, Jerry.
- Go ahead. -Go ahead.

Oh, don't our Rat
Finks look marvelous?

They're having a wonderful time.

Yeah.

Boys, stop that!

Stop teasing that skunk!

Oh, nice to see
you, Mrs., uh-uh...

- Mrs. Carmichael.
- Carmichael.

And I'm Mrs. Bagley,
Sherman's mother.

- Mrs. Bagley, nice to see you.
- Nice to see you.

Nice to see you. I'm... I'm
sorry I'm not gonna be able

to spend much
time with you ladies.

Oh, that's all right.

But as usual on visitors day,

we're having our
annual camp crisis.

- Oh?
- Oh, now don't tell me.

Tommy Thompson put his pet
snake in somebody's bed again.

Yes, he hid it in
the chef's bed.

He and his wife just quit.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, that's... What are you gonna do?

Well, fortunately, they're going
to stay through dinner tonight.

Oh, good.

But tomorrow, I've got
to get two new cooks.

- Oh, that's too bad.
- Yes, I know. If you'll excuse me,

I got to get on the
phone right away.

- Okay, Mr. Slater, bye-bye.
- Nice to have met you.

- Mr. Slater, wait a minute.
- Yes?

I know two marvelous
cooks that you can get.

Wonderful.

Really? Who?

Yeah, who?

You and me.

You and who?

Me and you.

That's what I thought you said.

Yeah. Mr. Slater, we've
had lots of experience.

You see, when we
were in the WAVES,

we cooked for the
entire company.

W-Were you
considered good cooks?

Well, we won the war, didn't we?

Yes, well, well, well,
thank you, ladies.

That'll be a big help.
Oh, that's wonderful.

You can start in the
morning with breakfast.

- Fine. We'll be there.
- Thank you so much.

That's gonna be a big...

Boys, will you get that
canoe out of that tree?!

Are you out of your mind?

Viv, don't you understand?

As long as we're
here doing the cooking,

our kids will get to stay
that extra two weeks.

Well, may I remind you

that in our entire
career in the WAVES,

we only cooked one meal,
and everybody got seasick.

And at the time,
we were on dry land.

Well, now, Viv, we've had a
lot more experience since then.

- Oh, Lucy, for heaven's sake.
- We've been cooking

- three meals a day for five people.
- Cooking for a camp...?

Can you imagine how much
you have to know about cooking

- to cook for a whole...?
- Come on, Viv.

Just for a couple of weeks.
It's not gonna hurt you.

Come on, please.

Okay, but it's
just for the boys.

- Okay.
- Yoo-hoo! Mrs. Carmichael!

- Mrs. Bagley?
- Oh, we're in here, Mr. Mooney!

Oh, there you are.

Oh.

I, uh, just stopped
by to tell you

we'll be heading
back right after dinner.

Yeah, well, Mr. Mooney, we
have some bad news for you.

We're staying.

We won't be driving
back with you.

I see. I see.

What's the bad news?

Oh, go fill your
gas tank, big boy!

You can't depend
on those flappers

stopping every time, you know.

Good-bye.

Oh, boy.

Oh, gosh, Lucy.

I haven't been up
this early in years.

Now I know why they
call it the crack of dawn.

Anyone who gets up at
dawn has got to be cracked.

You're right, girl.

Well, come on. Let's get busy.

Oh, wow.

Now, look at this
modern convenience.

Oh, the last time I
saw a stove like that,

Hansel and Gretel
were cooking a witch in it.

Mother's Handy Household Helper.

1903.

Oh, my.

Well, Mother's stood
the years pretty well.

She's a little hot
this morning, too.

They banked the
fire before they left.

- That's good.
- Yeah.

- Don't have to do that.
- Well, let's see.

What'll we cook for breakfast?

How about some nice
soft-boiled sleeping pills?

Well, good morning!

Good morning!

Beautiful day, isn't it?

Well, who knows?
It hasn't started yet.

Say, that's a good one.

Well, anyway, ladies,

the reason I stopped in...

I wanted to tell you not to
serve popovers this morning.

Oh, well, I had no intention
of whipping up any popovers.

Oh, good.

Because that's all our
old chef ever served.

- Oh.
- He left us

enough frozen popover
batter to sink Boys Town.

Say, that was kind of cute.

Yeah.

For early in the morning.

How would you like some eggs?

We're very good at eggs.

Eggs are fine.

Okay. How would you
like your eggs, Mr. Slater?

Oh, oh, I won't be eating
breakfast here, Mrs. Carmichael.

- Oh.
- I have to load up the station wagon

- to take some things into town.
- Okay.

You'll find all the eggs
you need in the refrigerator.

- Well, good luck.
- All right.

♪ Oh, hail to thee,
Camp Awa-ha-ha-kee. ♪

Well, what do you
say we scramble them?

All right. You get the eggs
while I start heating the pans.

Okay.

Oh, and bring some butter.

I only have two hands, you know.

Oh, all right. I'll get it.

Viv, we have 200
eggs to scramble.

By the time you bring
out the other 196,

those four will be hatched.

Well, now, do you know
a better way of doing it?

Bring out the whole crate!

They're not in a crate.

They're all piled up out
there in the refrigerator.

Oh, heavens. All right.

I'll show you how
to handle eggs.

You got a lot to learn
about a kitchen, kid.

When we go home,
Viv, I'll teach you

a lot of these little
labor-saving devices.

There's no reason
in the world...

Who moved that table?!

I did.

Well, that was a pretty
stupid thing to do, Viv.

Now, help me clean up this mess.

- Well, now...
- What are we gonna do?

Just set fire to the floor
and cook 'em right there.

All right, come on.

Now, help me clean this up.

- Okay.
- Oh, honestly.

Oh, that is quite a mess, Lucy.

- I'm sorry. I just...
- You're sorry.

For heaven's sake, why did
you think I put that up there?

You find anything, Viv?

Nothing except that
frozen popover batter,

but we can't use that.

Bring it!

Oh, no. Now, Mr. Slater
told us not to cook popovers.

Never mind. He's
not gonna be here.

Forget what he said.

Now, Lucy!

This is an emergency.

Bring it, and we'll argue later.

Okay.

Phew!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Lucy, this is awful heavy.

Help me with it, will you?

Oh. Oh, boy.

Why didn't you tell
me that was cold?

Well, frozen things usually are.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Now, we'll have to get it out...

Well, come on and
help me get it out.

How are we gonna
get it out of there, girl?

Get down there and-and
pull it up, that's all.

It's heavy, girl.

All right.

Oh, careful now.

Got it?

Oh, wait a minute, Viv.

Okay.

Popovers. Popovers.

Okay.

Oh!

Oh, boy.

Oh, look at that hole.

Go get something to cover it.

Go on, go get
something to cover it!

Okay.

Pffsh!

Aah!

Aah.

Lucy?

What's the matter with you?!

Well, you almost
scared me to death.

I scared you to death?!

What are you doing
shoving that thing in my face?

- Well, it's...
- Oh, honestly, Viv.

Help me, Lucy.
That's very heavy bear.

Help me cover the hole, huh?

This is what you brought
to cover the hole with?

Well, that's all I could find.

Oh, honestly, Viv.

Gee.

Oh, that's fine.

Oh, that's fine.

Come on.

Oh, I got to
unfreeze this batter,

and the best way
to do it is in the oven.

Open the oven doors.
Think you can do that?!

Yeah.

Oh, you got...

Oh, that's marvelous, Lucy.

There you are, girl.

I couldn't help
you with that? No.

No, I wouldn't want
you to even try.

That's good!

Oh, wait a minute, Lucy.

If you, if you unfreeze that
in the oven, when it melts,

it'll all drip over the
bottom of the oven.

Oh, all right, get
a roasting pan

and put it on the
bottom of the oven.

Don't just stand
there! Go get it!

Okay, I'll get it. You
want me to go get it.

Gee.

All right, out!

Out of that pool,
you kids. Come on!

You're supposed to
be in basket weaving.

Oh, Mrs. Carmichael,

I-I don't know what's the
matter with me this morning.

I was halfway down
the road before I realized

I hadn't asked
you what provisions

you'll be needing for
your next few meals.

Oh, we don't need a thing.

- Good-bye, Mr. Slater.
- Oh, fine.

Oh, we're out
of a lot of things.

Ah, but we can get 'em
later. Good-bye, Mr. Slater.

Oh, Lucy, we really
need an awful lot of things.

What in the world are you doing
out here with that roasting pan?

Get back in the pantry, Viv!

Well, you told me to go...

Never mind what I told
you. Do what I tell you!

Bye, Mr. Slater.

- We don't need a thing.
- Okay.

- We're fine.
- All right.

Yeah, we-we, we're-we're...

Hold on, Mr. Slater.

Just a minute now, Mr. Slater.

- We need eggs.
- Okay, we need eggs.

- Good-bye, Mr. Slater.
- Bye.

Wait a minute.

There were nearly 20 dozen
eggs in that refrigerator last night.

Yeah, we noticed them.

What happened to them?

Oh, yeah, what
happened to them, Viv?

Uh... uh... uh...

Ladies, please. I'm a busy man.

What happened to the eggs?

Well, uh, uh, we had a
teensy-weensy little problem.

- What problem?
- I dropped them.

- You dropped them?!
- Yes.

Lucy.

Oh, finish the story.

You might as well
tell him the truth.

Yes, I think you'd better tell
me the truth, Mrs. Carmichael.

- Well, uh...
- Yes? Yes?

Uh... well...

Well, come on,
come on, spit it out!

We, uh, well, uh, we couldn't,

we couldn't find any more eggs.

- Yes? Yes?
- You were very low on eggs.

- Really.
- Low on eggs. Yes.

- Uh, and, uh...
- Yes? Yes? Go on.

So we knew that we had
to fix something, and...

Yes. Yes.

And we were trying

to figure out, you know,
the best possible menu...

All righty. All righty.
W-W-W-What? What? What?

That would be good
for so many boys.

And we have rather a limited,

uh, uh, idea, uh,
allotment, and...

Come on, Mrs. Carmichael!

I'm a busy man!

We decided that we were
gonna make something.

- Make what? What? What?
- And so we made popovers.

Pop... popovers?!

I told you no popovers.

I know.

I stood there, I stood
there, right there.

- I know you said that.
- I told you about the mothers

- and that they were worried about their...
- But I...

- There wasn't any...
- What are you trying to do?!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Oh, what is it?
- Mr. Slater.

Oh, Mr. Slater,
we'll help you out.

- Sorry, Mr. Slater.
- Let us help you out, Mr. Slater.

We're sorry, Mr...

- Mrs. Carmichael?
- Yes?

I can understand how a
woman might break 200 eggs.

Yes?

Will you please tell
me how you managed

to make a hole in the floor?!

Well, M-Mr. Slater,

I-I want to talk to you
about your termites.

- Termites?!
- Yes.

Mr. Slater...

Think I broke my back.

Thank you.

We were just trying
to help our children.

Well, help me!

I...

Will you please
get me out of here?!

I got a camp to attend to!

Take his other hand, Viv!

Aah! Vivian!

No, Mr. Slater, don't look!

Don't look, Mr. Slater.

What's happening to my stove?!

- We don't know!
- What is that?!

Oh... it's nothing, it's just...

- Uh, uh, uh...
- Mrs. Carmichael?

Oh! Oh! Oh!

What are you doing to my stove?!

What is this?!

- Stop it!
- Oh, Mr...

Stand back, Mr. Slater...

Stop it! What are you doing?!

Mr. Slater, um, she put...

Out! Out!

- Mr. Slater...
- Out!

It'll be all right, Mr. Slater.

Well, Chrissy,
you've really flipped.

Shh! I'm supposed to have quiet.

Oh, well, may I break
the spell long enough

to ask just what you're doing?

I'm upside down to bring
a beauty blush to my face,

which I then massage
with Lux beauty lather.

Well, Chrissy,
darling, just using Lux

makes your skin soft and pretty.

I get great results
with Lux, right side up.

Hey, your skin
does look terrific.

Save some Lux for me.

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