Original subtitles

Ok, ok.

Enough of this.

Let's get on with it.

Playback.

Action.

If your clothes are rumpled, worn, and dingy

dingy.

If you're frugal, thrifty, cheap, or stingy.

Stingy.

Bring your clothes if they're spotted,

soiled, or oily.

Cut.

Cut!

What are you doing?

We're doing our routine.

Not on my commercial do you do your routine.

Do it on your commercial.

Our own commercial?

We don't have anything to sell.

We'll talk about that later.

Now let's move it.

Time is money.

Oh, you mean we're getting paid for this?

Did I say that?

Did anybody hear me say that?

I never said that.

Did you say that? I didn't say it.

Who said it?

Who said it?

No.

Come on.

Move it.

Move it.

Let's go.

Go, go, go.

Come on.

Let's go.

Action.

If your clothes are rumpled, worn, and dingy

dingy.

If you're frugal, thrifty, cheap, or stingy

stingy.

Bring your clothes if they're spotted,

soiled, or oily.

Right in here you'll be treated royally.

Royally, royally, royally.

Treated royally.

And a 10% discount if you mention my name.

Harold schwan, king of clean.

King of sleaze is more like it.

Mmm.

At least you weren't married to him.

True.

He just chased me around the office eight hours a day.

Hmm, what about me?

He treated me like I was his mistress.

You were his mistress.

Almost $7,000.

Not bad for a start.

Mmm.

I never thought robbing a store would be so easy.

Luckily, Laura took the safe combination when she quit.

Now Harold will probably change the combinations

in all the stores.

No problem.

We'll just get new combinations when

schwany leaves the office today.

Let's see.

$7,000 per store and um, seven stores.

That's uh

$49,000.

Right.

Which hardly makes up for all the misery

that slime has caused us.

Like al Pacino says, "don't get mad.

Get even."

Ready?

You bet.

Ok.

Let's go.

Ok.

You go up the side of the house.

I'm going to go around toward the alley.

Federal officers.

Open up!

Freeze!

Running can be bad for your health.

Get your hands up.

Get your hands up!

Against the wall.

Against the wall!

Spread your legs.

If you are still alive, put both arms out that window.

Do it!

Come on, get up.

Turn around and shut up.

You're under arrest for the sale of an illegal substance.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be against you in a court of law.

All right.

It's clear.

Let's go.

Uh, excuse me.

Um, could you help me find this room number.

I can't seem to find it.

Sure.

It's um, room 217.

I can't seem to find it anywhere.

217 is

um.

Oh, you're on the third floor right now.

You want the second floor.

On the lefthand side, there's a stairway.

Take it down to the second floor

excuse me.

It should be right

where is he?

He's not here, Mrs. Schwan.

Ex Mrs. Schwan.

Oh, you mean the king of clean schwan?

That's who I'm looking for.

My check didn't come this month.

Where is he?

Is he around?

Left it right in front of my house.

And what am I supposed to do about my garden?

My roses

A flagpole!

Who are you?

Laura?

What are doing in there?

Hi, Barbara.

Uh, Laura, I don't think you should be in Mr. Schwan's

private office now that you don't work for him anymore.

It's ok.

He wouldn't mind.

Oh uh, do you want to leave a message for Mr. Schwan?

Don't bother.

It'll just upset him.

Thanks, Barbara.

Thanks, Barbara.

You're welcome.

No, no, no.

Come on.

You know as well as I do that as assistant platoon leader,

you're required to make the rating

reports every six months.

Now get of my back.

Can you believe the rating reports are due again?

Boy, am I glad I'm not assistant platoon leader.

Would you like to practice on being one?

Sir, no sir.

I've got all the fun I can handle, sir.

Your day's coming.

You know what I hate about this rating

report time of the season?

All the men start doing this perverted little fertility

dance of sucking up.

Yeah, that's what they do, they suck up.

They want to do things for you.

They want to leave you gifts.

They give you flashlights.

You know last year, I got 25 fruit baskets.

If I get another fruit basket, i'm

having a sex change operation.

Yeah, it's rough at the top.

Let's go.

Did you see did you see anything?

Ok, here we go.

362434.

Oh, how sweet.

What?

Schwany used my measurements as a combination.

Oh!

Oh, seems like they had a good day.

Could be $9,000, $10,000.

And they say crime doesn't pay.

Hmm.

Little snack?

You mean that guy on TV the king of clean

with the crown and the bimbos?

Yes.

Harold schwan is your brother-in-law?

We all have our crosses to bear.

Now I want hunter on this case if you can spare him.

Well, he's in the middle of the rating reports now.

Forget the rating reports.

You're under a lot of pressure at home.

Charlie, Louise is very upset.

She stopped cooking dinners.

She stopped making the beds.

She's stopped everything.

Hunter.

These are caramel custards.

I think you're going to you're going to like those.

Novak?

Those ratings reports are all yours.

This is an absolutely unbelievable.

$226,045?

That's a lot of money.

No cleaning store makes that kind of money.

Look at these deposit slips.

Different amounts.

Different banks.

I don't understand.

This is a lot of money.

Harold has been holding out on me.

You know it's going to take a long time

to spend all this money.

I mean, this is a lot of money.

I know.

I know.

I like it.

I like it.

This is a lot of money.

That bastard.

Isn't there a safe at your house?

If you came in to get your pants cleaned, hunter,

we're closed for the day.

Yeah, that's pretty funny, Tom.

How you been?

Fine, fine.

Hey, is it true Harold schwan is commander

Clayton's brother-in-law?

Yep.

Commander buttonedup related to the king of clean.

Wait until the guys hear.

Well, I know I can count on you to blab it around.

Oh, this is wu fong.

He manages the store.

Mr. Fong, how are you?

Excuse me, Tom.

Yeah, now Mr. Fong, this is what you

found when you came in this morning?

Have you seen anybody leaving?

Now what about last night when you closed the place up?

You seen anybody hanging around the front or the back?

Hey, are you getting all this, Tom?

Oh, he's just a little shaken up.

Oh, I see.

Now, they came in through the roof,

dropped down on the bags of cleaning.

Scuff marks on the roof indicated

more than one burglar.

They came straight to the safe.

How you doing, hunter?

Hey Linda, how you been?

I've been fine.

I heard commander Clayton put you on this one.

Isn't it amazing that news spread so fast, Tom?

Yeah.

Um, they must have know the combinations.

Opened it up and took the money out.

How much was it?

According to Mr. Schwan, $6,046.32.

He was here when we arrived this morning.

Yeah, where is he right now?

Oh he had go someplace.

Said he'd be back later.

I see.

Well, I'll need to talk to him.

Yes, sir.

Well there's no sign of vandalism.

Mr. Fong left a portable radio here

and a very expensive briefcase.

They were here this morning.

Well, whoever came down through that skylight was awful small.

Oh, I figure it was juveniles.

Juveniles, huh, Tom?

So what do you think, the

was deluged with sixyearolds?

I got to make a phone call.

See you later, Linda.

Byebye.

Mr. Fong?

I'd like to talk to Mr. Schwan.

Thank you.

Receptionist: Royal court

cleaners, corporate offices.

Yeah this is sergeant hunter, LAPD.

I'd like to talk to Mr. Schwan.

If it's about those parking tickets,

Mr. Schwan said the check is in the mail.

Well, it's not about the parking tickets, miss.

It's uh it's about the robbery at his store last night.

Oh, well he's out right now, but he'll

be back later this afternoon.

Ok.

Tell him sergeant hunter from LAPD

called and I'll be calling him back.

Ok.

Thanks a lot.

Mr. Fong.

Thanks very much.

Appreciate it.

I don't like to be kept waiting.

I'm sorry Mr. Monks.

You're sorry?

I just lost a lot of money. $220,000.

Terrible, terrible.

The crime in this city is just just out of control.

Cut the crap, schwan.

Right, Mr. Monks.

You know I got hurt too.

Some of that money they stole was mine, you know.

This store had $6,000 in the bag.

And change.

Every penny counts when you're a low markup business.

Shut up.

I need that money you were laundering, schwan.

I know that, but I told you, the store was robbed.

Maybe it was.

Maybe it wasn't.

Oh, Mr. Monks, come on.

I wouldn't do something like that with your money.

What are you kidding?

Do you think i'm

I tell you what I think.

If I don't get my money by tomorrow,

I'm going to have breech break every bone in your body.

Including pinkies and every little vertebrae.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

I'll get your money back.

I'll borrow it from the bank.

In fact, I'll go right away.

You do that.

Good luck at the bank, your highness.

Sergeant hunter.

Barbara, how are you?

Fine.

If you need anything, just let me know.

I'm fine, thanks.

Coffee?

Nope.

Oh, how about a snack?

A piece of fruit, hmm?

Nah.

Hey, what is this, Denny's?

Richard schwan.

Pleasure.

Ah, come in.

Boy, am I glad to see you.

My brother-in-law told me that you're the best.

Well, I have the highest regard for the commander as well.

Well, let's forget about him for now, huh?

I was the one that was robbed.

How you doing?

Did you find him yet?

Uh not, Mr. Schwan, but we will.

Ah, that's great.

Tell me, exactly how much money did they get?

$6,425.32.

Ah, I see.

Now as I understand it, you have what, five more stores?

Yeah my my old man left me one store in pacoima.

So I became the prince of pacoima.

And today you're the king.

That's right.

I'm the king.

And now tell me, do the other managers of your other stores,

do they have the combinations to your safe?

Sergeant, I'm the only one.

It's a Harold schwan enterprise, and only

Harold schwan has the combinations.

And it's all locked up in there.

I see.

Now what about your secretary?

My secretary?

Yeah, you know, your secretary.

No, I I trust Barbara.

So therefore, you're the only one

that has the combinations to all the safes?

Sergeant, are you are you trying

to say to me that I robbed my own stores?

Well, did you?

Police humor.

Well, we're just considering all

the possibilities, Mr. Schwan.

Well, sergeant you better start considering who ripped me off.

Ok, look.

That'll be enough for now.

Let me ask you a question.

If I need to talk to you again, will you be available?

Uh, yeah.

But right now I'm a little late.

I I hate to keep my bankers waiting.

Uh, Mr. Schwan?

Why the bank?

When you lose a lot of money, arrangements have to be made.

Aren't you covered by insurance?

Well uh, time.

It takes time to collect.

Oh, I see.

Thank you so much, sergeant, for everything you've done.

Really.

See he that he gets everything he wants, huh?

Thanks a million, sergeant.

Thanks Mr. Schwan for your time.

You won't believe this, but there

are people who actually don't like schwanny.

Uh, you wouldn't happen to have a list of those people,

would you?

Do you have a big piece of paper?

I don't need this grief I'm getting from schwan.

I get enough being in the meat business.

Everybody's on this cholesterol kick.

Chicken, fish, fish, chicken.

If I ate like that, I'd I'd look like him.

Well, what do think, digby, is this jerk

going to give me my money back?

I don't think so.

He's in debt up to his eyeballs.

The banks aren't going to give him squat.

His sister won't let him sell the business.

He's tapped city.

What's the matter?

You cold?

Yeah.

Can we get out of here?

I mean, why do we always have to meet in here?

And I thought you were my strongest guy.

You want a couple of steaks?

Uh, no thanks.

I don't eat red meat.

Can't have some schnook out there saying he

ripped me off for $220,000.

Yeah?

Guess who?

Well, did you get the loan?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Looks good.

Oh there's a few minor details, but we'll

ramrod right through them.

Now you take it easy, Harold.

I know you're trying.

And we're looking to work with you as best we can.

I got a feeling you would say that.

In fact, Mr. Monks, you got a heart of gold.

A heart of gold.

Those are my exact words.

All right, we're going to try to make some arrangements.

Maybe you can pay this off in installments.

Installments?

I know plenty about those.

Listen, digby has all the details.

Why don't you, uh, meet him tonight,

uh, at your store on saticoy.

I know it's out of the way but that way nobody'll bother you.

Saticoy?

The store on saticoy?

Ok well, we'll work it out.

About 10:30.

Heart of gold.

Platinum, pure platinum.

Yeah.

Meet schwan?

To to what?

Kill him.

Yeah.

Oh sure.

Ok ladies, right this way.

That's it.

There you go.

Right over there up against the wall would be nice.

Thank you.

Just fill in here.

Have a seat anywhere.

Thanks.

Very good.

Ok, if you'll just excuse me one moment, I'll be right back.

Thanks.

You sure you know what you're doing?

Of course I do.

I go in first, put the bait, and leave.

You and Traci know what to say?

Yeah.

I think so.

Yeah, the amazing thing is that everyone on his secretary's

list, everyone who hated him is a woman.

Except wu fong.

But you know the real crazy thing here is, Charlie?

Wu fong's a woman?

No, well if he is, he's the ugliest woman

either you and I have ever seen.

Now, the crazy thing here is Charlie,

I've dated one of these woman on this list.

Ladies, I want to thank you very much for cooperating.

It's a big help to us.

Now, uh, would a miss Laura rhodes step in, please?

Laura, you look great.

Thank you.

It's great to see you.

How have you been?

Fine.

Yes, fine.

Good.

Now what's this business about you

having to go to a job interview?

Yes.

I have to be there now.

Ok.

Uh, ok.

Why don't you go now, we'll talk later.

Well, I thought we'd get a bite later tonight.

A bite?

Yeah.

And talk about Harold.

Oh Harold, oh absolutely.

Good idea.

You know, I can't believe you actually

work for Harold schwan.

Oh, well, a girl has to make a living.

But then I realized if that was living, I'd rather be dead.

So you quit?

Uhhuh.

So, call me after 5:00.

After 5:00.

Same number.

Same number.

Yeah.

Good.

Miss rhodes?

I want to thank you very much.

Well.

Wonder what that was all about?

I don't know.

Hunter says he knows one of these gals from way back when.

Oh, really?

Well uh, yes.

Uh, Norma Lee?

Although I don't know for sure.

I try not to get involved in my officers' personal affairs.

Interesting choice of words.

You did what?

You you know.

Your exwife, your exsecretary, and your exyou

know what they told me not to bother to tell you

they were here.

Forget about them.

Forgot about them.

You let them three in my office?

Well, no.

Just Laura.

Laura?

Yeah.

She thought you were hiding in your office.

My office?

Did she get in my desk?

Well, how should I know?

Of course.

You still look fabulous.

What is your secret?

Good foundation cream.

And you still make me laugh.

You know, it's good to see you haven't changed very much.

Oh, I don't know.

Some of the things we used to do, I've stopped doing.

Oh no, that's too bad.

Let me ask you a question.

Did you uh, know any, or were you

friendly with any of the women that were there today?

No.

Why?

Oh, just curious.

Rick, I think I know who robbed the stores.

Really, who?

Harold schwan.

Now, why would you say that?

One, he lives way above his means.

He spends money faster than he makes it.

God knows where it comes from.

Two, he would Rob the pencils from a blind man

if he was sure the guy wasn't faking

it which is what schwanny would do.

And three, the insurance covers the loss to the business.

Well it's not exactly hard evidence now, is it?

Ok.

How about this?

The other night, the night of the robbery,

I called him and he was nowhere to be found.

Why'd you call him?

Why?

Yeah.

I just called him because I wanted

to know if I left my sunglasses at the office.

Oh, sunglasses.

Yeah.

Well it looks like I'd better check in to Harold schwan now,

shouldn't I?

Right.

You should.

Would you uh, care for some dessert?

A dessert?

Sweet.

Satisfying.

I could use something like that.

And uh, you sir?

Oh, I think we're going to have the check.

Hi, Linda.

Let me guess, broken skylight more than one perp,

no fingerprints, right?

Yeah.

Plus one added attraction.

Oh, yeah.

The photographer's already been here.

I think the me wagon's on its way.

Since you've been on this case, hunter

we've gone from

pennyante burglary to homicide.

What's going on?

I can appreciate your concern, commander,

but I'm on top of it.

I have a lead.

I've identified the dead body as a one Francis digby.

Now he was onetime cpa, served time

in folsom for embezzlement

embezzlement?

He also has uh, known, direct ties to the mob.

Ties to the mob?

What's a man like that doing in Harold's store?

Well, I think it's safe to say he wasn't there to Rob

the safe.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well look, what it means is I got to talk to Harold

one more time.

Harold?

You think Harold has something to do with these burglaries?

You think he's involved with embezzlement and the mob?

Well, I don't know about that?

Well, what do you know about?

Look, I think Laura rhodes is involved in this.

Who the hell is Laura rhodes?

Well, Laura rhodes is a onetime employee of Harold's.

And uh, I think that there's a lead there.

Well, let's get on it.

Go, go!

Yeah.

Hi.

Oh yeah, hi.

Where were you last night?

Oh, I was out getting a bite.

Well, I mean actually I was working.

You know, the robbery is now a homicide.

I called.

I kept getting your machine.

Oh yeah.

I got I got in late.

Oh?

You got home.

Well, that's something.

Oh, how are the rating reports doing?

You dated that woman?

Hunter.

No, no look.

It was such a long, long time ago, really.

You like that look.

What look?

That look.

That tall.

That statuesque.

That cheap.

Cheap, statuesque.

Statuesque.

Excuse me.

You know, that reminds me.

The Venus de Milo was very statuesque.

The only difference is she can't type.

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a second.

I want to talk to you.

Oh my gosh, schwanny.

You look awful.

I'd invite you in, but I just had the place fumegated.

Very funny.

Very funny.

I know what you've been doing.

We've been having a great time since we're rid of you.

That's what we've been doing.

You've been ripping off my stores.

You bagged over $200,000.

Whatever are you talking about?

Last night, they sent a man to see me.

He wanted to kill me, but it didn't work out.

He's dead now.

Oh my god.

I murdered a man.

I'm capable of doing anything.

I want my money.

Some people get sexy when they're angry,

but not you, Harold.

Hey we're not playing games here.

I'm warning you.

If you don't go away, I'll call the police

and tell them about your killer connection.

You asked for it.

Your days are numbered.

Oh my god.

This is it.

We got to turn ourselves in.

Come on.

Come on.

Get in the car.

Who is it?

Damn you, Harold.

I've had roaches that were easier to get rid of.

I want you out

you're coming with me.

Harold, what are you doing?

What is that, a water gun?

I got it for you, Mr. Monks.

I I found the money.

You killed digby.

It was an accident.

I bumped into him, and the gun went off.

Besides, if I hadn't killed him, he would've killed me.

Mr. Monks, let me finish digby's job.

No.

Right now I need the money more than I need dibgy.

What are we doing here?

Who are these people?

Hey.

Who are you?

She and the other girls took the money.

Is that so?

Of course it's so.

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't.

Give it up, sweet cheeks.

Come on, you don't believe schwanny, do you?

To start with, break her arms.

Wait, I don't have the money.

Start with her right one.

If I had the money, I would give it to you.

I like my arms.

Laura?

Laura?

Harold schwan is laundering money?

Yeah, over $200,000 distributed

to different banks on different days.

Well, it's a cash business retail store.

It's the perfect setup for laundering money.

Yeah.

Commander Clayton isn't going to like this.

Nope.

I guess you'll have to tell him.

Well, me tell him?

You tell him.

Me?

Yeah.

Me tell commander Clayton that his brother-in-law's

a criminal? Get serious.

Wait a minute.

No, no, no, no.

This is your case, your evidence.

You tell him.

Be reasonable.

Harold schwan might be the king of clean,

but I am the captain of Metro and you are a sergeant.

That's right, and as a sergeant,

I will complete my detail as assigned.

However, I got to find Laura and that money, captain.

I think she could be the middle of this.

As a matter of fact, her life may be in danger.

You go find Laura, but you're still

going to have to tell Clayton.

Hello.

Who is this?

Who is this?

Never mind who this is.

Say hello to your girlfriend.

Ah!

I'm ok, I'm ok.

They're just trying to scare me.

Ah!

Scare her to death.

Oh god.

They have Laura.

Who has Laura?

Who are you?

Never mind.

Just get the money.

All of it.

And bring it 8 o'clock tonight to valley, heart, and stern.

My man will meet you there.

Your man?

Who's your man?

Don't worry about that.

He'll find you.

And if what's your name, sweet cheeks?

It's Laura.

If you don't show up, Laura's dead.

Wait.

Move that thing, or I call the police.

I am the police.

It's him, it's him.

He is the police, remember?

That's right.

We're in a hurry, sergeant.

If you have any more questions, we'd

be glad to answer them at another time.

Settle down, now.

I think Laura's life may be in danger.

Have you seen her?

I'm looking for her.

What's in that bag?

Yeah.

That one.

Can I take a look?

Yeah, it's ok.

It's all right.

Oh.

We didn't do the homicide part.

Schwanny did it.

Look, where is Laura?

Some creep said that he's going to kill her

if we don't give him this money.

We have to be at valley, heart and stern in 20 minutes,

give some guy this money so they'll let Laura live.

You'll make it.

Hold it right there, LAPD.

Get your hands up.

A little bit more.

Now very slowly walk over here.

Now, where's the girl?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Don't be stupid.

Where is she?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know, huh?

Nope.

Stick your head in here for a minute, will you?

Hey.

Ah, ah!

Where is she?

Where is she?

Star wholesale meats on Jefferson.

Charlie?

I wasn't expecting back up.

R21's going to back us up.

I'm with you.

Did you talk to commander Clayton?

Yeah.

That's why I'm here.

Oh, good.

I'm sorry, Laura.

Beg your pardon?

You are?

I'm sorry you're in this mess.

But after all, I've been in a mess all my life, wasn't I?

You really mean that, schwanny?

I never thought you noticed.

I just want to get out of this alive,

so I can apologize to all the people I hurt.

And that includes you, Mr. Monks.

If you could feel it in your platinum heart.

Look schwan, I get my money, it'll be quick.

I don't get my money, you're going

to have a long, painful time to regret it before you die.

I'll have you know that my brother-in-law

is a commander in the LAPD.

They'll never find your body.

I guess being in this business, it's

easy to get rid of body parts.

Police!

Hold it right there.

Hold it right there, police!

Harold schwan, right?

Oh yeah, you recognize me from TV, huh?

Yeah.

Well, thanks for what you're doing.

Hey, would you like an autographed picture of me?

Tell you what, Harold.

You can give me two poses.

One like this and one like this.

Funny guy.

Oh, Clayton?

Could you do me a favor?

Sure Harold, what is it?

Listen, when Louise comes on visiting days,

if she could bring the camera, we

still could do the commercials.

Huh?

What do you think, hunter?

Will I still look this good when I get out?

Honey, if you use a good foundation cream,

you'll be just fine.

I'm proud of my Metro officers.

Thanks, commander.

Unfortunately, this thing affected me personally.

Oh, good job on those rating reports.

Well, thank you, commander.

However, it wasn't necessary to rate sergeant hunter.

Well, I like to do a complete job.

Complete to say the least.

Was that was that part true about

I'm sure it was.

Really?

We'll have to get together and talk about that.

Excuse me, what part was that?

Yeah, we'll have to get together for a bite.

I guess I really did it this time?

You think I did it this time?

Nah.

Oy.