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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:57,550 --> 00:00:59,009 ♪ You won't 2 00:00:59,969 --> 00:01:01,843 ♪ Forsake me 3 00:01:02,806 --> 00:01:04,466 ♪ To heaven 4 00:01:05,392 --> 00:01:06,637 ♪ You take me 5 00:01:08,478 --> 00:01:11,099 ♪ Don't try to wake me 6 00:01:11,147 --> 00:01:13,223 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 7 00:01:14,234 --> 00:01:15,977 ♪ I know that you won't 8 00:01:17,612 --> 00:01:19,272 ♪ Forsake me 9 00:01:20,365 --> 00:01:22,025 ♪ To heaven 10 00:01:22,951 --> 00:01:24,196 ♪ You take me 11 00:01:26,079 --> 00:01:28,700 ♪ Don't try to wake me 12 00:01:28,748 --> 00:01:30,408 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 13 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:34,129 ♪ I'm just lost in a 14 00:01:34,170 --> 00:01:36,246 ♪ Dream ♪ 15 00:02:17,672 --> 00:02:20,210 - And three, thank you. - Thank you. 16 00:02:37,192 --> 00:02:38,686 Ouch! 17 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,483 - Ow. - Keep still. 18 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,771 Look, do you mind, you're hurting. 19 00:02:43,823 --> 00:02:45,567 It's all part of the training. 20 00:02:45,617 --> 00:02:48,322 None of us is bloody perfect. 21 00:02:54,209 --> 00:02:57,328 Get your head in there. Come on, get a move on. 22 00:02:57,379 --> 00:02:59,455 I say, steady on! 23 00:03:01,591 --> 00:03:05,423 - Shouldn't I have a hairnet? - Course not, it doesn't matter. 24 00:03:07,472 --> 00:03:11,137 - You always had small tits and a big bum? - Sorry? 25 00:03:11,184 --> 00:03:15,229 Thought so. I've put you on gas mark four... 26 00:03:15,271 --> 00:03:17,644 back in two days, all right? 27 00:03:20,527 --> 00:03:22,484 Can I have a magazine? 28 00:03:24,948 --> 00:03:27,902 ...Standing side by side. If you know anything about skipping 29 00:03:27,951 --> 00:03:30,905 you'll know that this is quite fascinating. Stand side by side 30 00:03:30,954 --> 00:03:33,575 and place your near arm round your partner's waist. 31 00:03:33,623 --> 00:03:35,450 I do this with my friend Doris. 32 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,335 Or you can hold inside hands. We do that too. 33 00:03:39,421 --> 00:03:42,042 The swing of the rope must be from the wrist in both cases 34 00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:44,415 otherwise the rope will not turn evenly. 35 00:03:44,467 --> 00:03:47,883 And you can have formation skipping teams of any number. 36 00:03:47,929 --> 00:03:49,092 Would you like to join? 37 00:03:50,306 --> 00:03:53,640 Have I got nice tits or have I got nice tits? 38 00:03:57,522 --> 00:03:59,764 I've got better tits than her. 39 00:03:59,816 --> 00:04:02,521 At least I don't wear bloody falsies. 40 00:04:09,909 --> 00:04:14,785 - Chevely Wonder. - Seven to two. 41 00:04:14,831 --> 00:04:16,870 - Ought to go. - How much? 42 00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:18,956 - A dollar. - All right. 43 00:04:19,002 --> 00:04:21,291 - And cross double it with the other two. - OK. 44 00:04:34,851 --> 00:04:36,559 Lynda? 45 00:04:45,904 --> 00:04:47,647 I think you're done, dear. 46 00:04:47,697 --> 00:04:51,113 It's awfully hot under here. 47 00:04:51,159 --> 00:04:52,986 It's always like that. 48 00:04:53,036 --> 00:04:55,871 - Bugger! - There's a very unpleasant smell. 49 00:04:55,914 --> 00:04:58,950 - Don't fidget! - You didn't give me a magazine. 50 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:03,543 You're getting a free bloody perm, what do you expect? 51 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,832 Fine. 52 00:05:06,883 --> 00:05:08,710 Good. 53 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,677 Yes. Yes. 54 00:05:11,721 --> 00:05:14,129 - Yes. You pleased with that? - Yes, thank you. 55 00:05:21,898 --> 00:05:23,309 Oh. 56 00:05:25,485 --> 00:05:27,394 Look. 57 00:05:28,488 --> 00:05:29,982 Look at my hair! 58 00:05:30,782 --> 00:05:32,656 Look what you've done to my hair! 59 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,740 Oh, I don't know. 60 00:05:34,786 --> 00:05:37,111 It looks nice. It's nice. 61 00:05:37,163 --> 00:05:38,955 Look at it! Look at it! 62 00:05:38,998 --> 00:05:42,284 Oh, shut up, you silly fat cow! You can always wear a hat. 63 00:05:42,335 --> 00:05:44,411 Lynda, come with me. 64 00:05:48,007 --> 00:05:50,296 People just don't want to hear a lot of filthy talk 65 00:05:50,343 --> 00:05:51,624 when they're having a perm. 66 00:05:51,678 --> 00:05:53,754 Come on, out. 67 00:05:55,306 --> 00:05:59,850 - I did not swear at her. - It's unprofessional and disgusting. 68 00:06:00,645 --> 00:06:02,851 Only took it on to please you. 69 00:06:05,108 --> 00:06:08,311 Look there. Up there. There's an opening waiting. 70 00:06:08,361 --> 00:06:10,686 All yours. Security for life. 71 00:06:11,448 --> 00:06:13,820 This town's full of women crying out for perms. 72 00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:15,491 - Hello, Dad. - Hello, Margaret. 73 00:06:15,535 --> 00:06:17,113 - Hello, Lynda. - Oh, bugger off. 74 00:06:17,162 --> 00:06:19,569 Watch your... Just watch it. 75 00:06:20,415 --> 00:06:23,084 Ever since you were a child, you and your disgusting mouth. 76 00:06:23,126 --> 00:06:24,668 Thank you very much. 77 00:06:24,711 --> 00:06:27,628 - There's something wrong with you, my girl. - I'm bloody bored. 78 00:06:27,672 --> 00:06:29,748 Language. 79 00:06:36,765 --> 00:06:38,757 - Cod or haddock, what do you want? - Cod. 80 00:06:38,808 --> 00:06:40,884 Dog. 81 00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:50,357 Elizabeth! Lynda, look. 82 00:06:50,403 --> 00:06:54,068 Look, Margaret, look there. That's your dad! 83 00:06:56,242 --> 00:06:57,820 Come on, Margaret. 84 00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:18,055 Millie. 85 00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:19,758 Hello, brother. 86 00:07:20,683 --> 00:07:24,266 Hello, prettiness. You get prettier every day. 87 00:07:24,312 --> 00:07:26,388 Got a kiss for your father? 88 00:07:27,941 --> 00:07:29,399 Is that Lynda? 89 00:07:31,361 --> 00:07:33,852 Take that off, Lynda. Take it off! 90 00:07:40,245 --> 00:07:41,822 Have you brought us any presents? 91 00:07:41,871 --> 00:07:43,781 Where's that kiss for your dad, Lynda? 92 00:07:51,089 --> 00:07:54,292 No, I don't believe it. When? 93 00:07:54,342 --> 00:07:55,920 Well, this was before the war. 94 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,712 No! I don't believe it. 95 00:07:58,763 --> 00:08:00,922 Spectacular. 96 00:08:00,974 --> 00:08:04,224 On one of the liners? That's correct. 97 00:08:04,269 --> 00:08:06,475 Oh, I just don't believe it, do you? 98 00:08:06,521 --> 00:08:08,348 I don't think the man would lie to us, Joan. 99 00:08:08,398 --> 00:08:11,268 Oh no, I mean, I just can't believe it. 100 00:08:11,317 --> 00:08:13,357 Nor can I. I can. 101 00:08:13,403 --> 00:08:15,194 Oh, you only say that because you never liked her. 102 00:08:15,238 --> 00:08:16,649 Who? You. 103 00:08:16,698 --> 00:08:19,901 Never liked who? Gracie Fields! 104 00:08:19,951 --> 00:08:21,149 I think she screaks. 105 00:08:21,202 --> 00:08:23,528 For goodness' sake! Oh, come on! 106 00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:25,987 Your father has cut... 107 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,540 Gracie Fields's hair, how about that then? 108 00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:31,044 Shampoo, set and trim. 109 00:08:31,087 --> 00:08:34,670 - Shampoo, set and trim. - They don't know what you're talking about. 110 00:08:34,716 --> 00:08:36,625 - What? - They think you're off your rocker. 111 00:08:36,676 --> 00:08:37,874 Don't you? 112 00:08:37,927 --> 00:08:39,837 - Our Gracie. 113 00:08:42,599 --> 00:08:44,141 That's Gracie Fields. 114 00:08:44,184 --> 00:08:47,635 - Hardly. - I'll get some more water. 115 00:08:47,687 --> 00:08:51,103 - Show them the picture, Hubert. - I was going to. 116 00:08:51,149 --> 00:08:55,277 - She gave me this. - Ohh, look at that! 117 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,819 - Very nice. - I've not seen this before. 118 00:08:58,865 --> 00:09:01,237 Of course not, woman. 119 00:09:01,284 --> 00:09:04,368 - Can I read what it says? - That's a lock of her hair. 120 00:09:04,412 --> 00:09:07,330 - It's not! - It is. 121 00:09:10,502 --> 00:09:12,660 "To Hubert, 122 00:09:12,712 --> 00:09:15,915 "With thanks and good wishes... 123 00:09:15,965 --> 00:09:17,673 "Gracie Fields." 124 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,302 Lynda just said "up your bum". 125 00:09:22,597 --> 00:09:23,842 And "pig's willy". 126 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:33,934 Out! 127 00:09:33,983 --> 00:09:36,984 - Go on, out! - Hubert... 128 00:09:37,028 --> 00:09:39,946 - Out. - Don't be hard on the girl. 129 00:09:40,573 --> 00:09:44,238 I have not travelled the oceans of the world to come home to language like that. 130 00:09:44,285 --> 00:09:46,361 Bed! 131 00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:49,082 What's the matter? 132 00:11:07,994 --> 00:11:10,699 What's all the fuss about, eh? 133 00:11:12,165 --> 00:11:14,204 I wish he hadn't come home. 134 00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:17,666 I wish he'd stayed at sea with bloody Gracie Fields. 135 00:11:41,486 --> 00:11:43,775 - Hey, no cycling! - Up your bum. 136 00:11:43,822 --> 00:11:46,063 Lynda! Lynda! 137 00:12:01,715 --> 00:12:03,173 Say hello to your Uncle Harry. 138 00:12:03,216 --> 00:12:05,090 - Give us a chance. - Hello, Lynda. 139 00:12:05,135 --> 00:12:06,380 - Your Uncle Harry... - Uncle Harry. 140 00:12:06,428 --> 00:12:09,843 Your Uncle Harry's got a job for you. You start tomorrow. 141 00:12:09,889 --> 00:12:11,847 If you want it. She wants it. 142 00:12:11,891 --> 00:12:15,260 - Start tomorrow at eight. - You'd better get home to bed then. 143 00:12:15,311 --> 00:12:17,637 Good. See you at eight, get you started. 144 00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:19,765 I'm sure you'll be very happy. 145 00:12:20,734 --> 00:12:23,189 Where? Where do I have to be tomorrow at eight? 146 00:12:23,737 --> 00:12:25,813 The garage, the bus company. 147 00:13:04,694 --> 00:13:06,069 Hello. 148 00:13:06,112 --> 00:13:09,612 - Hello? 149 00:13:11,618 --> 00:13:14,156 What are you laughing at? 150 00:13:14,204 --> 00:13:18,498 It's hot. Warm work, riding bikes. 151 00:13:19,584 --> 00:13:21,209 I fancy you, actually. 152 00:13:21,252 --> 00:13:24,337 You can take me to the pictures, there's a Betty Grable film on. 153 00:13:24,381 --> 00:13:26,457 You can take me if you want. 154 00:13:28,802 --> 00:13:30,344 Yeah, maybe. 155 00:13:30,387 --> 00:13:33,091 Do you think I've got legs like Betty Grable? 156 00:13:34,182 --> 00:13:35,261 I don't know. 157 00:13:35,308 --> 00:13:38,724 If you take me on Saturday night, I'll buy my own ticket. 158 00:13:40,146 --> 00:13:41,261 All right. 159 00:13:43,775 --> 00:13:45,234 Bye! 160 00:13:46,945 --> 00:13:48,688 Brian? 161 00:13:48,738 --> 00:13:50,149 Betty Grable! 162 00:14:08,758 --> 00:14:09,956 - Hello. - Hello. 163 00:14:10,009 --> 00:14:11,504 I haven't seen you here before. 164 00:14:11,553 --> 00:14:13,592 - No. - Why not? 165 00:14:13,638 --> 00:14:16,259 I've not been here, have I, drip. 166 00:14:16,766 --> 00:14:19,222 - Would you like to come dancing? 167 00:14:19,269 --> 00:14:21,261 - The Rex, Saturday night. - Lynda. 168 00:14:21,312 --> 00:14:23,305 I'm a good dancer. 169 00:14:23,356 --> 00:14:25,432 I can't, I've already got a date. 170 00:14:25,483 --> 00:14:26,728 Morning, Mr Figgis. 171 00:14:26,776 --> 00:14:28,852 This way please, you're late. 172 00:14:30,238 --> 00:14:33,572 - You don't know what you're missing. - Neither do you. 173 00:16:14,509 --> 00:16:16,252 It's not Betty Grable. 174 00:16:17,762 --> 00:16:18,925 What? 175 00:16:18,972 --> 00:16:21,261 It's not Betty Grable. 176 00:16:21,307 --> 00:16:23,181 This is not a Betty Grable film. 177 00:16:24,686 --> 00:16:26,513 I know... 178 00:16:26,563 --> 00:16:28,851 dri-p. 179 00:16:28,898 --> 00:16:31,733 ... Starting something I can't finish. 180 00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:34,446 Giving you happiness for a little while and... 181 00:16:35,238 --> 00:16:37,480 - and... - Oh, darling... 182 00:16:37,532 --> 00:16:40,449 happiness such as we can have is worth grasping, 183 00:16:40,493 --> 00:16:42,652 even if it's only for a day, an hour. 184 00:16:42,704 --> 00:16:45,029 If you stand on the highest peak for one moment 185 00:16:45,081 --> 00:16:49,459 you've had what most people strive in vain for all their lives. 186 00:16:49,502 --> 00:16:53,417 If only I could believe it. Darling, listen to me. 187 00:16:53,465 --> 00:16:56,086 You say you've only a few months. 188 00:16:56,134 --> 00:16:58,590 How long has anyone in the world? How long have I? 189 00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:01,922 A month, a year? Well, perhaps I'll get away with it altogether 190 00:17:01,973 --> 00:17:03,800 and so may you. 191 00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:05,843 But we're all living dangerously. 192 00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:08,467 There isn't an certainty any more. 193 00:17:08,521 --> 00:17:11,392 There's just today and the hope of tomorrow. 194 00:17:12,484 --> 00:17:14,809 Oh, darling. 195 00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:17,945 Please, let's... let's take all the happiness we can 196 00:17:17,989 --> 00:17:20,112 while we can. 197 00:17:20,158 --> 00:17:21,818 Don't be afraid. 198 00:17:23,828 --> 00:17:27,577 All right, my darling. I won't be afraid. 199 00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:31,080 I'll never be afraid any more. 200 00:17:35,507 --> 00:17:37,795 What's the matter, Lynda? 201 00:17:39,135 --> 00:17:40,760 What's the matter? 202 00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,526 Lynda. 203 00:17:57,237 --> 00:17:58,612 Lynda? 204 00:17:59,697 --> 00:18:01,524 What's the matter? 205 00:18:06,871 --> 00:18:08,947 What's the matter? 206 00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:13,411 Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. 207 00:18:18,299 --> 00:18:22,048 I liked it, it was nice, silly bugger! 208 00:18:49,873 --> 00:18:52,079 Now then, now then, none of that here! 209 00:18:52,125 --> 00:18:54,414 - Steady on! - What do you think you're doing? 210 00:18:54,461 --> 00:18:57,746 - This is a picture palace, not a brothel. - I'm sorry, sir, very sorry. 211 00:18:57,797 --> 00:18:59,291 I'll be talking to your parents. 212 00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:01,214 Oh, please! It won't happen again. 213 00:19:01,259 --> 00:19:02,539 It's disgusting. 214 00:19:02,594 --> 00:19:04,052 Oh, sod the pair of you! 215 00:19:04,095 --> 00:19:05,554 I'll be talking to your father. 216 00:19:05,597 --> 00:19:07,673 Bloody good luck to you! 217 00:19:07,724 --> 00:19:09,681 Here, get off before I kick your arse. 218 00:19:09,726 --> 00:19:12,133 Go on, or I'll kick your arse! 219 00:19:49,974 --> 00:19:51,599 Yes, sir? 220 00:19:55,605 --> 00:19:58,725 And... they go right up to my belly button. 221 00:20:00,693 --> 00:20:02,520 Marks and Spencer's, do you like them? 222 00:20:02,570 --> 00:20:04,646 - Look nice, don't they? 223 00:20:15,875 --> 00:20:18,662 Do you like my suspenders? 224 00:20:18,712 --> 00:20:20,621 What about your knickers? 225 00:20:24,509 --> 00:20:27,843 Stop! Stop this! Out! 226 00:20:28,388 --> 00:20:30,713 - You're fired. 227 00:20:30,765 --> 00:20:32,924 - You're all fired. 228 00:20:32,976 --> 00:20:34,968 No, no, no you're not. 229 00:20:35,019 --> 00:20:36,430 Just you, you're fired. 230 00:20:36,479 --> 00:20:38,519 - You lot, out! 231 00:20:38,565 --> 00:20:41,056 Back to the buses. Get back! 232 00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:44,359 But I was only showing them my new knickers, Mr Figgis. Look! 233 00:20:51,077 --> 00:20:53,912 ♪...Upstairs and downstairs 234 00:20:53,955 --> 00:20:56,411 ♪ In my lady's chamber 235 00:20:56,458 --> 00:20:58,949 ♪ Goosey, goosey, gander 236 00:20:59,002 --> 00:21:01,208 ♪ Where did I wander? 237 00:21:01,254 --> 00:21:03,460 ♪ Upstairs and downstairs 238 00:21:03,506 --> 00:21:05,582 ♪ In my lady's chamber 239 00:21:06,384 --> 00:21:08,341 ♪ Then I saw an old man 240 00:21:08,386 --> 00:21:11,340 ♪ Didn't say his prayers 241 00:21:11,389 --> 00:21:13,548 ♪ Took him by the left leg 242 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,099 ♪ And threw him down the stairs 243 00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:19,351 ♪ Goosey, goosey, gander 244 00:21:19,397 --> 00:21:21,473 ♪ Where did I wander? ♪ 245 00:21:26,362 --> 00:21:29,280 Your father says you've, er, 246 00:21:29,324 --> 00:21:31,731 sworn constantly since you were a child. 247 00:21:31,785 --> 00:21:33,611 My first word was bum. 248 00:21:33,661 --> 00:21:34,942 Really? 249 00:21:36,039 --> 00:21:38,744 - He's very worried about your, er... - Swearing. 250 00:21:38,792 --> 00:21:40,868 Yes, that's right, and your... 251 00:21:40,919 --> 00:21:42,995 your behaviour. 252 00:21:44,172 --> 00:21:46,710 As I said, I'm, er... 253 00:21:46,758 --> 00:21:48,834 - I'm here to help you. - That's nice. 254 00:21:48,885 --> 00:21:50,593 Mm. 255 00:21:50,637 --> 00:21:53,591 Once we discover what kind of help you need. 256 00:21:54,682 --> 00:21:55,927 Good. 257 00:21:56,810 --> 00:21:58,636 Do you know what a psychiatrist is? 258 00:21:58,686 --> 00:22:00,763 - No. - You don't? 259 00:22:01,648 --> 00:22:03,059 Do you resent coming here? 260 00:22:03,108 --> 00:22:04,566 No, why should I? 261 00:22:04,609 --> 00:22:06,352 I thought it'd make a nice day out. 262 00:22:08,988 --> 00:22:12,772 I tell you what we'll do, Lynda. Do you mind if I call you Lynda? 263 00:22:12,826 --> 00:22:15,067 I prefer that to Beryl. 264 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:16,863 Is Beryl your second name? 265 00:22:16,913 --> 00:22:18,372 No! 266 00:22:21,334 --> 00:22:23,410 I tell you what we'll do. 267 00:22:24,796 --> 00:22:27,583 Let's go through the alphabet. We'll start at A. 268 00:22:27,632 --> 00:22:28,961 Best place. 269 00:22:29,008 --> 00:22:32,045 And I want you to tell me all the swear words you know 270 00:22:32,095 --> 00:22:33,375 beginning with A. 271 00:22:33,430 --> 00:22:35,588 - Then we'll go on to, er... - B. 272 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,882 And so on. Do you get the picture? 273 00:22:38,768 --> 00:22:41,722 So... A. The letter A. 274 00:22:41,771 --> 00:22:45,105 - Arse. - Arse. Good. 275 00:22:45,150 --> 00:22:46,560 Do you really want me to do this? 276 00:22:46,609 --> 00:22:49,147 - You feel foolish, do you, when you swear? - No... 277 00:22:49,195 --> 00:22:51,069 only when I'm sat here like this. 278 00:22:51,114 --> 00:22:53,107 - Do you feel guilty? - What about? 279 00:22:53,158 --> 00:22:55,649 Let's go on. Arse... 280 00:22:55,702 --> 00:22:57,113 Hole. 281 00:22:57,162 --> 00:22:58,822 - Hole? - Arse. 282 00:22:58,872 --> 00:23:01,279 - Hole. - Yeah, that's it. 283 00:23:01,332 --> 00:23:03,159 Ah, good, yes. 284 00:23:03,209 --> 00:23:05,961 - And holes. - Holes. 285 00:23:06,004 --> 00:23:07,712 Of course. 286 00:23:07,756 --> 00:23:08,787 Let's move on to B. 287 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,757 Leave those behind, ha ha. 288 00:23:11,801 --> 00:23:13,177 B. 289 00:23:13,219 --> 00:23:16,220 - Bloody, bastard, bugger, bum. - Very good. 290 00:23:16,264 --> 00:23:17,842 - And holes. - Holes. 291 00:23:17,891 --> 00:23:19,385 - Bum. - Holes. 292 00:23:19,434 --> 00:23:21,427 Yes, of course, very good. 293 00:23:33,031 --> 00:23:36,281 Now, Lynda... C. 294 00:23:36,326 --> 00:23:37,785 We missed balls. 295 00:23:37,827 --> 00:23:39,903 So we did, never mind. C. 296 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,119 - No. - Take your time. 297 00:23:48,171 --> 00:23:49,369 Can't think of nothing. 298 00:23:49,422 --> 00:23:51,830 Think very hard now. 299 00:23:51,883 --> 00:23:53,591 The letter C. 300 00:23:54,677 --> 00:23:57,513 Something very filthy. 301 00:23:57,555 --> 00:23:59,631 Very, very dirty. 302 00:24:01,976 --> 00:24:03,387 Cacka? 303 00:24:04,729 --> 00:24:05,760 Cacka? 304 00:24:05,814 --> 00:24:08,221 Cacka. Pooh-poohs. 305 00:24:08,274 --> 00:24:10,148 - Are you feeling ashamed? - What of? 306 00:24:10,193 --> 00:24:12,435 - What you're really thinking. - I'm not thinking anything. 307 00:24:12,487 --> 00:24:15,192 - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. 308 00:24:16,324 --> 00:24:17,653 Very well then. D. 309 00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:19,159 - Damn. - Precisely. 310 00:24:19,202 --> 00:24:20,365 F. The letter F. 311 00:24:20,412 --> 00:24:22,451 - We've missed out E. - There isn't one with E. 312 00:24:22,497 --> 00:24:24,822 - There might be. - There isn't, take my word for it. 313 00:24:24,874 --> 00:24:26,950 - We could give it a try. - F. 314 00:24:27,001 --> 00:24:29,409 Can you think of a filthy, dirty, smutty word, 315 00:24:29,462 --> 00:24:30,743 beginning with F. 316 00:24:30,797 --> 00:24:33,205 - Not too hard, I should think, Lynda. - No. 317 00:24:34,175 --> 00:24:36,464 - Come on, come on, of course you can. - I can't. 318 00:24:36,511 --> 00:24:38,420 Of course you can. I can, anybody can. 319 00:24:38,471 --> 00:24:40,049 Well, what then? You tell me. 320 00:24:40,098 --> 00:24:42,589 You must be one of the last people on earth not to know. 321 00:24:42,642 --> 00:24:44,136 Everybody knows a swear word with F. 322 00:24:44,185 --> 00:24:45,977 Then, what are you asking me for? 323 00:24:46,020 --> 00:24:47,515 Because I want to hear you say it. 324 00:24:47,564 --> 00:24:49,188 You dirty old bugger. 325 00:24:59,617 --> 00:25:04,244 It is difficult to be sure without further investigations 326 00:25:04,289 --> 00:25:07,290 but I would conjecture that something has happened to Lynda 327 00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:10,085 during the course of her adolescence. 328 00:25:10,128 --> 00:25:11,788 Her mother died when she was eleven 329 00:25:11,838 --> 00:25:14,294 - would that have anything to do with it? - Possibly. 330 00:25:14,340 --> 00:25:16,333 What can I do? 331 00:25:18,511 --> 00:25:21,181 I'm ashamed of her, Doctor, she's an embarrassment. 332 00:25:21,931 --> 00:25:25,550 - Is there nothing you can do? - She's a difficult case. 333 00:25:25,602 --> 00:25:27,890 Can you make some more appointments for her? 334 00:25:28,897 --> 00:25:32,479 - Will it cost the same for each visit? - Yes, it will. 335 00:25:32,525 --> 00:25:34,732 Then I'm not sure that it's worth it. 336 00:26:05,141 --> 00:26:06,339 Thank you, thank you. 337 00:26:07,352 --> 00:26:08,929 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 338 00:26:08,978 --> 00:26:13,272 we have a star number for you from our feature vocalist, Rudy Stephenson. 339 00:26:13,316 --> 00:26:17,396 And he's going to sing for all you sweethearts and lovers. 340 00:26:17,445 --> 00:26:19,568 And also for Trevor Wilson and Tessa Phipps 341 00:26:19,614 --> 00:26:22,781 - who became engaged today. 342 00:26:26,913 --> 00:26:29,665 Thank you. We'd like you to dance nice and close together, 343 00:26:29,707 --> 00:26:31,996 as Rudy gives you his own very special rendition 344 00:26:32,043 --> 00:26:34,748 of that all-time favourite, Lost In A Dream. 345 00:26:47,559 --> 00:26:50,595 ♪ When it comes to dreams 346 00:26:50,645 --> 00:26:55,437 ♪ Love has always played the leading part 347 00:26:56,651 --> 00:27:01,646 ♪ I don't play for dimes and nickels 348 00:27:02,949 --> 00:27:07,741 ♪ I don't play to be the last 349 00:27:09,122 --> 00:27:11,695 ♪ When it comes to love 350 00:27:11,750 --> 00:27:17,918 ♪ I shoot first, shoot to kill 351 00:27:17,964 --> 00:27:23,385 ♪ I aim straight for the heart 352 00:27:24,596 --> 00:27:29,258 ♪ You won't forsake me 353 00:27:30,602 --> 00:27:35,809 ♪ To heaven you'll take me 354 00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:42,107 ♪ Don't try to wake me 355 00:27:43,364 --> 00:27:48,157 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 356 00:27:49,204 --> 00:27:54,198 ♪ Don't try to wake me 357 00:27:55,085 --> 00:28:02,332 ♪ Cos I'm just lost in a dream ♪ 358 00:28:42,799 --> 00:28:45,551 This is my grandma's bedroom. 359 00:28:45,593 --> 00:28:48,298 That's your grandma's bed. 360 00:28:51,891 --> 00:28:55,011 What did you, er, tell your Dad? 361 00:28:55,061 --> 00:28:57,433 I'm staying with my friend, Pauline. 362 00:28:58,523 --> 00:29:00,183 Where's your gran? 363 00:29:01,192 --> 00:29:02,852 Tunbridge Wells. 364 00:29:05,905 --> 00:29:08,112 She's gonna leave me this house in her will. 365 00:29:41,983 --> 00:29:44,474 You all right in there? 366 00:29:44,527 --> 00:29:49,901 - I'll be out in a minute. - You've been in there bloody hours. 367 00:29:49,949 --> 00:29:52,156 You get into bed. 368 00:29:52,202 --> 00:29:54,278 I might fall asleep. 369 00:30:03,213 --> 00:30:04,837 Cor... 370 00:30:04,881 --> 00:30:06,541 Iook at you. 371 00:30:12,639 --> 00:30:13,670 Do you fancy me? 372 00:30:13,723 --> 00:30:16,641 Not half as much as you fancy yourself. 373 00:30:27,278 --> 00:30:29,318 What kind of cigarette is that? 374 00:30:29,364 --> 00:30:30,609 Du Maurier. 375 00:30:31,491 --> 00:30:34,196 - Really? - They're the best. 376 00:30:42,210 --> 00:30:43,918 Toothpaste. 377 00:30:43,962 --> 00:30:46,251 I'm going to make love to you. 378 00:30:46,297 --> 00:30:47,756 Do bloody hope so. 379 00:30:47,799 --> 00:30:49,922 Like you've never been made love to before. 380 00:30:49,968 --> 00:30:51,759 Shouldn't be too difficult. 381 00:30:51,803 --> 00:30:54,341 I'm going to do it to you... 382 00:30:54,389 --> 00:30:55,848 right now. 383 00:31:00,437 --> 00:31:04,137 I might have a baby. I just thought I'd mention it before we go too far. 384 00:31:04,190 --> 00:31:05,732 No chance. 385 00:31:05,775 --> 00:31:08,895 I'm not so dolly dumb as I look, you know. 386 00:31:08,945 --> 00:31:10,688 Don't worry. 387 00:31:10,739 --> 00:31:12,149 Dave thinks of everything. 388 00:31:12,198 --> 00:31:14,108 Oh, Durrex! 389 00:31:14,159 --> 00:31:16,614 - Durex. - My dad sells these, what are they for? 390 00:31:18,121 --> 00:31:19,781 To stop you having babies. 391 00:31:19,831 --> 00:31:21,076 What? 392 00:31:22,375 --> 00:31:24,451 Crafty bugger! 393 00:31:24,502 --> 00:31:26,661 No wonder he hides them under the counter. 394 00:31:28,006 --> 00:31:29,963 Ugh! 395 00:31:30,008 --> 00:31:32,084 You don't have to eat them, do you? 396 00:31:32,135 --> 00:31:34,009 No. 397 00:31:34,054 --> 00:31:37,138 They're plonkers. What the Yanks call condoms. 398 00:31:37,182 --> 00:31:40,882 You've been done mate. There's not one in this packet. 399 00:31:40,935 --> 00:31:42,478 That's cos I'm wearing it. 400 00:31:44,939 --> 00:31:46,683 Are you? 401 00:31:49,652 --> 00:31:51,526 Yes, I am. 402 00:31:58,119 --> 00:32:01,239 Oh! So you are. 403 00:32:02,457 --> 00:32:04,533 Come on, Dave, quick, let's do it. 404 00:32:05,543 --> 00:32:09,921 - Hang on. 405 00:32:12,967 --> 00:32:15,589 - What are you laughing at? - I'm not, I'm not... 406 00:32:22,018 --> 00:32:25,719 Ooh, ow! 407 00:32:30,193 --> 00:32:32,945 What do we do now? 408 00:32:32,987 --> 00:32:35,313 Oh, Lynda... 409 00:32:35,365 --> 00:32:37,404 Any more fares... 410 00:32:37,450 --> 00:32:38,481 please! 411 00:32:43,498 --> 00:32:45,537 Oh. 412 00:32:47,127 --> 00:32:48,158 That was quick. 413 00:32:48,211 --> 00:32:49,789 Did you like it? 414 00:32:49,838 --> 00:32:52,126 Oh, it was nice, but, um, 415 00:32:52,173 --> 00:32:53,798 quicker than I expected. 416 00:32:53,842 --> 00:32:54,921 Don't worry. 417 00:32:54,968 --> 00:32:56,628 Is it always as quick as that? 418 00:32:56,678 --> 00:32:59,383 No, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it. 419 00:33:00,390 --> 00:33:02,466 We've got all night. 420 00:33:04,227 --> 00:33:05,935 That's good. 421 00:33:05,979 --> 00:33:08,933 Then you'd better swallow another one of these. 422 00:33:52,776 --> 00:33:53,855 What was that? 423 00:34:00,992 --> 00:34:02,949 Oh, my God, who is it? 424 00:34:02,994 --> 00:34:06,078 - Bloomin' heck! - Dave, who is it? 425 00:34:06,122 --> 00:34:07,237 It's my dad! 426 00:34:07,290 --> 00:34:09,448 Wait a second. 427 00:34:11,169 --> 00:34:13,162 If it's my dad, tell him I'm not here! 428 00:34:13,213 --> 00:34:14,375 David! 429 00:34:14,422 --> 00:34:15,620 It's me uncle. 430 00:34:15,673 --> 00:34:17,666 Are you in there, David? - Oh, my God! 431 00:34:17,717 --> 00:34:20,208 - I'll have to let him in. - No! 432 00:34:20,261 --> 00:34:21,637 - Under, quick. - What?! 433 00:34:21,679 --> 00:34:23,055 Get under the bed. 434 00:34:23,098 --> 00:34:24,640 Come on quick! 435 00:34:24,682 --> 00:34:25,845 He's got a key. 436 00:34:25,892 --> 00:34:28,763 If he's got a key, what's he knocking on the bloody door for? 437 00:34:28,812 --> 00:34:30,935 You up there, David? 438 00:34:39,614 --> 00:34:41,939 What you doing in your grandmother's bed? 439 00:34:41,991 --> 00:34:43,450 What's it look like? 440 00:34:43,493 --> 00:34:45,735 Does your grandma know you're sleeping in her bed? 441 00:34:45,787 --> 00:34:47,032 Course she does. 442 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,496 If she comes back and finds you in her bed, there'll be trouble. 443 00:34:50,542 --> 00:34:53,459 - Yeah, all right, so what? - Mitch! 444 00:34:53,503 --> 00:34:56,954 I've been given to understand you brought a girl home here last night. 445 00:34:57,006 --> 00:34:58,205 What? 446 00:34:58,258 --> 00:35:00,665 - Mitch! - Who told you that? 447 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:03,677 Never you mind. 448 00:35:03,722 --> 00:35:07,850 - I went dancing last night. - At the Rex. 449 00:35:07,892 --> 00:35:11,760 but I never brought no girl home, Uncle Brian, not me. 450 00:35:11,813 --> 00:35:13,852 I wouldn't dream of such a thing, Uncle Brian. 451 00:35:13,898 --> 00:35:15,523 I should hope not. 452 00:35:16,693 --> 00:35:21,070 You should be up, this time of day. You should be out doing something. 453 00:35:21,114 --> 00:35:23,071 Where have you been, church? 454 00:35:23,116 --> 00:35:24,943 Taking the dog for a walk. 455 00:35:24,993 --> 00:35:27,448 Keeping an eye on things. 456 00:35:27,495 --> 00:35:30,947 - The bloody dog's got one of your plonkers! - I know! 457 00:36:12,916 --> 00:36:15,158 - Come on, for God's sake. 458 00:36:15,210 --> 00:36:17,286 - Sorry. - Your dad in? 459 00:36:18,254 --> 00:36:20,543 - What do you want? - Dad in? 460 00:36:20,590 --> 00:36:23,211 No. He's not back yet. 461 00:36:23,259 --> 00:36:25,585 Not back yet? Do you mind if I come in? 462 00:36:25,637 --> 00:36:28,554 Stand there like a bloody dummy, I don't care. 463 00:37:02,966 --> 00:37:04,377 I don't know where he is. 464 00:37:05,510 --> 00:37:07,384 I never said you did. 465 00:37:08,555 --> 00:37:11,259 So what are you staring at, then? 466 00:37:13,727 --> 00:37:18,969 You, er... You gonna take up hairdressing like your dad? 467 00:37:19,023 --> 00:37:20,399 No, thanks. 468 00:37:20,942 --> 00:37:23,860 - Reckon you could give me a trim? - Get the pudding basin. 469 00:37:23,903 --> 00:37:25,563 I'll give it a try. 470 00:37:26,573 --> 00:37:29,064 So, you're the troublesome one eh? 471 00:37:29,117 --> 00:37:31,406 - What do you mean? - What do you mean? 472 00:37:31,453 --> 00:37:33,860 That's what your dad says. 473 00:37:33,913 --> 00:37:35,906 Says you're a troublesome bugger. 474 00:37:35,957 --> 00:37:38,448 He can't wait to get rid of you. 475 00:37:45,967 --> 00:37:47,545 Why are you limping? 476 00:37:47,594 --> 00:37:49,670 What do you mean? 477 00:37:50,889 --> 00:37:53,806 You got something the matter with your leg? 478 00:37:53,850 --> 00:37:55,261 No, why? 479 00:37:58,813 --> 00:38:01,814 You got something the matter with yours? 480 00:38:01,858 --> 00:38:04,147 I don't think so, no. 481 00:38:05,445 --> 00:38:07,983 Think you're it, don't you, hm? 482 00:38:08,031 --> 00:38:09,858 - What do you mean? - What do you mean? 483 00:38:09,908 --> 00:38:12,363 Troublesome bugger. 484 00:38:12,410 --> 00:38:14,533 Think you're God's gift, don't you? 485 00:38:14,579 --> 00:38:17,699 I think I'm all right, thank you very much. 486 00:38:20,877 --> 00:38:23,368 I think you're all the same. 487 00:38:24,756 --> 00:38:27,045 Don't know what you've got it for. 488 00:38:29,135 --> 00:38:31,840 All you young girls... 489 00:38:31,888 --> 00:38:34,806 you're scared... 490 00:38:34,849 --> 00:38:36,972 all talk. 491 00:38:37,018 --> 00:38:40,434 Scared of a real man, ain't you? Eh? 492 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,722 You bugger. 493 00:38:42,774 --> 00:38:45,265 You dirty bugger. 494 00:38:45,318 --> 00:38:48,354 Where's your sister? Eh? 495 00:38:48,405 --> 00:38:51,489 Girl Guides, she's gone to Girl Guides. 496 00:38:54,828 --> 00:38:57,283 I'll see you later out the back when the pub's shut. 497 00:38:57,330 --> 00:38:58,741 That's what you think. 498 00:38:58,790 --> 00:39:01,032 Hubert! 499 00:39:01,084 --> 00:39:03,123 Oh, Eric, how did we do? 500 00:39:03,169 --> 00:39:05,956 - Not so bad, not so bad. - I want a word with you. 501 00:39:06,005 --> 00:39:07,797 - I'm going out. - Are you? 502 00:39:08,633 --> 00:39:12,002 Great Eastern, Blue Boy, Tee's Delight. On the nose, cross doubles and a treble. 503 00:39:12,053 --> 00:39:15,387 - Every one a winner. - Very nice, very nice. 504 00:39:15,432 --> 00:39:17,056 Very nice. 505 00:39:20,061 --> 00:39:21,555 Here... 506 00:39:21,604 --> 00:39:24,356 sixteen pounds there. 507 00:39:24,399 --> 00:39:28,646 Seven and... six. 508 00:39:28,695 --> 00:39:30,319 You're a toff. Here. 509 00:39:30,363 --> 00:39:33,068 - Oh, thanks. - Stay for a drink? 510 00:39:33,116 --> 00:39:35,737 - Oh, no, no, got to push on. Got to push on. 511 00:39:35,785 --> 00:39:37,612 - Come on, parrot. - Parrot. 512 00:39:37,662 --> 00:39:40,782 - Show the man to the door. - Yes, Dad. 513 00:39:42,167 --> 00:39:44,408 - She's a lovely girl, isn't she? - You think so? 514 00:39:44,461 --> 00:39:46,702 - Oh, yeah, lovely girl. - Then make me an offer. 515 00:39:46,755 --> 00:39:48,961 Eh? 516 00:39:49,007 --> 00:39:50,169 Ha ha. 517 00:39:50,216 --> 00:39:53,134 Make me an offer! No reasonable offer refused. 518 00:39:53,178 --> 00:39:55,799 - Half a dollar, on the nose? - Done. 519 00:40:03,813 --> 00:40:06,814 - Hope your finger stinks. - I'll see you later. 520 00:40:06,858 --> 00:40:08,934 Cock off. 521 00:40:15,116 --> 00:40:16,658 Hey! 522 00:40:17,994 --> 00:40:20,200 - Hey! Where do you think you're going? 523 00:40:20,246 --> 00:40:21,278 Out! 524 00:40:21,331 --> 00:40:23,240 - Oh, no, you're not. - Oh, yes, I am. 525 00:40:23,291 --> 00:40:25,747 You're not, I'm telling you, you're not. 526 00:40:25,794 --> 00:40:27,204 You stay in for a change. 527 00:40:27,253 --> 00:40:29,661 I stay in, look after boring you know who, 528 00:40:29,714 --> 00:40:32,039 you go to the pub or club... lovely. 529 00:40:32,092 --> 00:40:33,123 Wrong. Freemasons. 530 00:40:33,176 --> 00:40:34,754 Same thing. Yap, yap, yap, yap. 531 00:40:34,803 --> 00:40:37,969 Bit of this, bit of that, then on to the pub or club with Long John Silver. 532 00:40:38,014 --> 00:40:39,639 It's all bloody boozing. 533 00:40:39,682 --> 00:40:43,466 Lynda, I don't want to hear it, I won't have that kind of talk! Do you hear? 534 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,770 Get rid of me then. Make me an offer, ha ha. 535 00:40:46,815 --> 00:40:49,306 You keep away from bus conductors. 536 00:40:50,402 --> 00:40:53,153 Bus conductor! Look at you, that's just about your... 537 00:40:53,196 --> 00:40:54,987 I'm ashamed to be your father. 538 00:40:55,031 --> 00:40:57,107 Oh, cock off! 539 00:40:58,785 --> 00:41:00,742 Hey! You're not too old madam! 540 00:41:00,787 --> 00:41:02,032 Remember that! 541 00:41:50,879 --> 00:41:54,129 - Your bike's on fire. - Up your bum! 542 00:42:12,650 --> 00:42:15,770 You'll have to wait a bloody long time, Mr Stinky Finger, 543 00:42:15,820 --> 00:42:18,062 parrot chops, Long John Silver. 544 00:42:34,214 --> 00:42:40,466 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum, up your bum, up your bum ♪ 545 00:42:46,142 --> 00:42:48,384 Up your bum, Mr Long John Silver. 546 00:42:53,358 --> 00:42:57,225 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum 547 00:42:57,278 --> 00:42:59,769 ♪ Up... your... bum 548 00:43:01,741 --> 00:43:03,235 ♪ Up your bum 549 00:43:03,284 --> 00:43:04,743 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum 550 00:43:04,786 --> 00:43:08,071 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum 551 00:43:08,123 --> 00:43:11,574 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum! 552 00:43:11,626 --> 00:43:15,754 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum, up your bum! 553 00:43:15,797 --> 00:43:16,995 ♪ Up your bum! 554 00:43:17,048 --> 00:43:19,883 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum! 555 00:43:19,926 --> 00:43:22,927 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum! Up your bum! 556 00:43:22,971 --> 00:43:25,676 ♪ Up your bum! ♪ 557 00:43:25,724 --> 00:43:27,800 What's going on down there? 558 00:43:27,851 --> 00:43:30,852 Just trying to find the cat, Mrs Fartley. 559 00:43:31,938 --> 00:43:33,765 Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. 560 00:43:33,815 --> 00:43:35,226 Oh! Ooh! 561 00:43:39,779 --> 00:43:42,235 - Next. - Two sixes ple... 562 00:43:43,867 --> 00:43:46,440 Can I have two sixes, please? 563 00:43:46,494 --> 00:43:47,988 Two sixes. 564 00:43:56,296 --> 00:43:58,502 Open or closed? 565 00:43:58,548 --> 00:44:00,671 Er, open please. 566 00:44:10,101 --> 00:44:12,426 Two sixes, a shilling please. 567 00:44:12,479 --> 00:44:17,900 - Sorry I haven't got anything, er, bigger. - No bother, we can use the change. 568 00:44:19,110 --> 00:44:20,569 Next. 569 00:44:21,321 --> 00:44:24,986 I want two cod and fours, a cod and six, a plaice and six 570 00:44:25,033 --> 00:44:27,606 two threes, three fours and a couple of sixes. 571 00:44:28,453 --> 00:44:29,733 All with crispy bits. 572 00:44:30,371 --> 00:44:32,613 - Open or closed? - Closed. 573 00:44:36,753 --> 00:44:38,792 Two cod and four, a cod and six, 574 00:44:38,838 --> 00:44:41,543 - what else? - A plaice and six, 575 00:44:41,591 --> 00:44:44,592 two threes, three fours and a couple of sixes, 576 00:44:44,636 --> 00:44:46,628 - all with crispy bits. - Please! 577 00:44:46,679 --> 00:44:47,924 Please. 578 00:45:54,831 --> 00:45:55,994 Cock off. 579 00:46:01,629 --> 00:46:04,037 Dave? 580 00:46:06,051 --> 00:46:08,542 I'll see you later. 581 00:46:13,725 --> 00:46:15,219 Hello, Lynda. 582 00:46:18,146 --> 00:46:20,684 There, you bugger, that's for you. 583 00:46:20,732 --> 00:46:23,057 Lynda, I'm sorry. 584 00:46:23,109 --> 00:46:25,814 Too bloody late. 585 00:47:23,253 --> 00:47:25,126 Ooh! 586 00:47:39,310 --> 00:47:41,884 Hello, it's me, troublesome bugger, remember? 587 00:47:41,938 --> 00:47:44,856 - About bloody time. - Cheeky sod. 588 00:47:44,899 --> 00:47:49,193 - What are you hanging about here for? - Collecting bets. 589 00:47:49,237 --> 00:47:51,313 Come and stand over by this wall. 590 00:47:51,364 --> 00:47:53,855 Shh. This way. 591 00:47:55,577 --> 00:47:57,450 Come on! 592 00:48:00,498 --> 00:48:01,577 Come on, hurry up. 593 00:48:13,928 --> 00:48:16,004 Have you got a match? 594 00:48:36,493 --> 00:48:38,984 Can I have my matches back? 595 00:48:39,037 --> 00:48:41,113 Mr Mingy. 596 00:48:50,048 --> 00:48:51,672 What's this? 597 00:48:51,716 --> 00:48:53,341 There. 598 00:48:55,178 --> 00:48:57,005 How many you had on there? 599 00:48:57,055 --> 00:48:58,929 Oh, a few. 600 00:49:00,016 --> 00:49:02,139 - How many bus conductors? - Oh, loads. 601 00:49:02,185 --> 00:49:05,519 I'm not fussy, that's why I'm here with you. 602 00:49:06,898 --> 00:49:10,397 - So, you had a bust-up with your boyfriend. - Word gets round quick. 603 00:49:10,443 --> 00:49:12,685 All the little tongues go clack, clack, clack. 604 00:49:15,198 --> 00:49:16,526 What's all this then? 605 00:49:17,075 --> 00:49:19,233 I come here to sleep, 606 00:49:19,285 --> 00:49:22,286 to escape my dad and boring bloody sister. 607 00:49:22,330 --> 00:49:23,990 Who with? 608 00:49:26,584 --> 00:49:28,244 You. 609 00:49:34,426 --> 00:49:36,383 What you got down there, then? 610 00:49:36,428 --> 00:49:39,547 - Don't know, have to have a look. - Have a look? 611 00:49:57,490 --> 00:49:59,779 Do you love me? 612 00:49:59,826 --> 00:50:02,613 No, I don't love anybody, 613 00:50:02,662 --> 00:50:04,738 not even meself. 614 00:50:08,334 --> 00:50:09,912 Bloody hell. 615 00:50:09,961 --> 00:50:11,206 Come on. 616 00:50:32,108 --> 00:50:34,599 - Think you're it, don't you? - You said that before. 617 00:50:34,652 --> 00:50:35,684 Then I must be right. 618 00:50:35,737 --> 00:50:39,900 You don't know how lucky you are, I'm practically a virgin. 619 00:50:45,580 --> 00:50:47,656 You've still got your pants on. 620 00:50:47,707 --> 00:50:49,166 Not for long. 621 00:50:57,634 --> 00:50:59,211 Oh, my God, it's my dad. 622 00:50:59,260 --> 00:51:01,052 - It's my dad! - Quiet! 623 00:51:11,022 --> 00:51:12,267 Oh! 624 00:51:12,315 --> 00:51:14,557 I'm very sorry, madam, the, er... 625 00:51:14,609 --> 00:51:17,693 the gate was open and I thought you might have intruders. 626 00:51:18,363 --> 00:51:20,439 Beg your pardon. 627 00:51:22,659 --> 00:51:25,114 Oh my God, bloody hell. 628 00:51:25,161 --> 00:51:28,447 If he wakes my dad, we're both dead! 629 00:51:28,498 --> 00:51:30,537 I thought it was him, I really did. 630 00:51:31,251 --> 00:51:34,252 Don't light the candle, if he come out here we're dead. 631 00:51:34,295 --> 00:51:36,205 Shut up and come down here. 632 00:51:36,256 --> 00:51:38,663 - Oh, my heart. - Come here. 633 00:51:46,182 --> 00:51:50,429 I'm shaking like a bag of jelly, can you feel? We left the bloody gate open. 634 00:51:50,478 --> 00:51:52,934 What's the worry? Forget it. 635 00:51:52,981 --> 00:51:56,397 - I thought it was him. - What's it matter? 636 00:51:57,485 --> 00:52:00,735 I can take care of your old man you take care of mine. 637 00:52:00,780 --> 00:52:04,564 - Oh, thank God it wasn't him. - What's it matter? 638 00:52:04,617 --> 00:52:06,657 - He don't care. - Who? 639 00:52:06,703 --> 00:52:10,487 Your dad. Can't wait to get shut of you. 640 00:52:10,540 --> 00:52:12,782 Half a dollar. 641 00:52:12,834 --> 00:52:17,128 - That's what you think. - That's what I know. 642 00:52:17,172 --> 00:52:20,541 - What do you mean? - What do you mean? 643 00:52:20,592 --> 00:52:25,966 He told me. He can't wait to get rid of you. 644 00:52:26,014 --> 00:52:30,640 Says you're a bloody nuisance, which you are. 645 00:52:30,685 --> 00:52:35,098 He's fed up looking after you. 646 00:52:35,148 --> 00:52:38,481 Big girl like you, should be looking after yourself. 647 00:52:39,569 --> 00:52:42,689 So what if he does come in here? I don't care. 648 00:52:43,740 --> 00:52:45,614 Mm? 649 00:52:45,658 --> 00:52:46,903 Can't do it now. 650 00:52:46,951 --> 00:52:48,861 - Why not? - I'm scared. 651 00:52:48,912 --> 00:52:52,494 - You're not leaving here until you do. - You have to wear a plonker. 652 00:52:52,540 --> 00:52:54,035 Uh-uh. 653 00:52:55,126 --> 00:52:56,620 I'm not doing it unless you do. 654 00:52:56,669 --> 00:53:00,085 - You don't know what you're missing. - No plonker, no nookie. 655 00:53:00,131 --> 00:53:03,714 Look, I'm an expert, I know what I'm doing, I'll look after you. 656 00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:06,298 Look, I'm a cowboy, didn't you know that, eh? 657 00:53:06,346 --> 00:53:09,051 The best bare-back riders in town. 658 00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:21,604 ♪ There's some cotton thread and needles for the folks away up yonder 659 00:53:21,653 --> 00:53:24,986 ♪ A shovel for a miner who left his home to wander 660 00:53:25,031 --> 00:53:29,076 ♪ Some rheumatism pills for the settlers in the hills 661 00:53:29,119 --> 00:53:33,911 ♪ Get along, mule! Get along ♪ 662 00:53:34,666 --> 00:53:41,333 Big finish. ♪ Get along, mule, get along! ♪ 663 00:53:56,229 --> 00:53:58,934 That was wonderful! Truly wonderful. 664 00:53:58,982 --> 00:54:01,651 I have to give you a big kiss for that. 665 00:54:02,235 --> 00:54:04,026 Come here! 666 00:54:07,407 --> 00:54:11,274 - You should be a professional. - Oh, I am, I am. 667 00:54:11,327 --> 00:54:13,403 You too, Harry. 668 00:54:14,873 --> 00:54:16,415 Any more, any more? 669 00:54:26,342 --> 00:54:28,750 What about you, Auntie Millie? 670 00:54:28,803 --> 00:54:31,590 Oh, I suppose so, why not? 671 00:54:31,639 --> 00:54:34,130 You make me sound like some old woman. 672 00:54:35,226 --> 00:54:36,769 You too, Joan. 673 00:54:36,811 --> 00:54:39,302 Oh, I thought you'd have to have a go at me. 674 00:54:40,190 --> 00:54:42,266 He's not fussy. 675 00:54:44,194 --> 00:54:45,854 And... 676 00:54:45,904 --> 00:54:49,023 the lovely Lynda. 677 00:54:53,453 --> 00:54:55,861 Isn't she lovely? 678 00:54:56,956 --> 00:54:58,237 Lovely. 679 00:55:00,126 --> 00:55:03,127 ♪ In, out, in, out, shake it all about 680 00:55:03,171 --> 00:55:06,421 ♪ You do the hokey cokey and you turn around 681 00:55:06,466 --> 00:55:09,633 ♪ And that's what it's all about ♪ 682 00:55:09,677 --> 00:55:12,169 ♪ Oh, hokey cokey cokey! 683 00:55:13,264 --> 00:55:15,553 ♪ Oh, hokey cokey cokey! 684 00:55:16,226 --> 00:55:18,977 ♪ Oh, hokey cokey cokey! 685 00:55:19,020 --> 00:55:22,436 ♪ Knees bend, arms stretch, ra ra ra! ♪ 686 00:56:36,973 --> 00:56:38,764 Your mother wouldn't approve. 687 00:56:39,642 --> 00:56:41,968 Pity she's not here to say. 688 00:56:48,610 --> 00:56:50,686 She'd have shown you the door. 689 00:56:50,737 --> 00:56:52,813 I've seen it. 690 00:57:13,718 --> 00:57:15,794 I'm a respected man, Lynda. 691 00:57:18,807 --> 00:57:20,883 A freemason. 692 00:57:22,852 --> 00:57:24,928 I know that doesn't mean much to you. 693 00:57:27,065 --> 00:57:29,141 Why should it? 694 00:57:32,153 --> 00:57:36,151 I'm not here to be made a bloody fool of, Lynda. 695 00:57:37,158 --> 00:57:39,234 There's such thing as dignity. 696 00:57:48,753 --> 00:57:50,829 You seem to think you're smart 697 00:57:52,966 --> 00:57:55,539 but I'm afraid you'll end up the bloody fool. 698 00:57:59,305 --> 00:58:01,381 Just don't do it in my house. 699 00:58:02,434 --> 00:58:05,470 I don't want to be witness to that kind of spectacle. 700 00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:07,596 What about Maisie Mathews? 701 00:58:15,697 --> 00:58:18,104 I'm a man. 702 00:58:30,628 --> 00:58:33,629 I don't know why you've turned out the way you have. 703 00:58:33,673 --> 00:58:35,749 God knows! 704 00:58:38,803 --> 00:58:40,879 You're... You're in such a rush. 705 00:58:43,349 --> 00:58:45,426 Why be in such a rush about it all? 706 01:01:25,011 --> 01:01:26,209 I've left him. 707 01:01:27,972 --> 01:01:29,965 - Who? - Who? Him! 708 01:01:30,433 --> 01:01:33,007 And my boring bloody sister. 709 01:01:33,061 --> 01:01:34,970 She said she wants to join the army. 710 01:01:35,021 --> 01:01:38,271 I thought she meant the Sally Army, but she means the army. 711 01:01:42,362 --> 01:01:45,067 - How'd you get in? - It's not locked, is it? 712 01:01:47,617 --> 01:01:50,238 You said you wanted me through the night. You've got me now. 713 01:01:50,286 --> 01:01:52,575 Father's blessing. Good riddance. 714 01:01:55,625 --> 01:01:57,250 Can bugger off if you want. 715 01:02:04,759 --> 01:02:06,835 Now... 716 01:02:35,623 --> 01:02:37,949 Come here. 717 01:02:54,517 --> 01:02:56,593 Cuddle me, please. 718 01:02:59,189 --> 01:03:01,265 I'll clear up. 719 01:03:02,734 --> 01:03:04,810 It's a bloody mess in here. 720 01:03:06,863 --> 01:03:08,939 You stink of booze and fags. 721 01:03:14,496 --> 01:03:16,654 You stink of chip fat. 722 01:03:19,751 --> 01:03:21,827 It's this. 723 01:03:21,961 --> 01:03:24,287 No, it's not. 724 01:03:24,339 --> 01:03:26,415 Take it off. 725 01:03:49,322 --> 01:03:51,398 You'd better take this off and all. 726 01:03:54,369 --> 01:03:58,367 I can just fit you in before the Novices Handicap at Kempton. 727 01:03:59,916 --> 01:04:02,158 Oh, come on, come on. What's all the fuss? 728 01:04:05,046 --> 01:04:08,083 Hold me, please. Just hold me. 729 01:04:08,133 --> 01:04:10,042 What's the matter? 730 01:04:10,093 --> 01:04:12,714 Gone off it, have you? Not going to do it any more? 731 01:04:12,762 --> 01:04:14,387 No! 732 01:04:14,431 --> 01:04:16,922 We'll have to ring the papers about that, won't we? 733 01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,051 - I'll go to Bournemouth. - You what? 734 01:04:21,104 --> 01:04:23,891 You what? Bournemouth. 735 01:04:25,024 --> 01:04:27,397 If you don't want me, I'll run away to bloody Bournemouth. 736 01:04:27,444 --> 01:04:29,483 Course I want you. 737 01:04:29,529 --> 01:04:32,863 They don't have fish and chip shops in Bournemouth, you know. 738 01:04:32,907 --> 01:04:34,070 Or sheds. 739 01:04:34,117 --> 01:04:36,442 Now, what would you do without fish and chips, 740 01:04:36,494 --> 01:04:38,617 sheds and my old man, eh? 741 01:04:55,722 --> 01:04:58,047 - Come on. 742 01:04:58,099 --> 01:05:00,139 - Come on. 743 01:06:57,719 --> 01:06:59,510 Come on, lovey. 744 01:07:39,969 --> 01:07:42,591 Hold it still, ladies. Stay still. 745 01:07:44,140 --> 01:07:46,216 Hold it just like that, ladies. 746 01:07:46,267 --> 01:07:47,382 Very still. 747 01:07:47,435 --> 01:07:49,013 Thank you. 748 01:07:49,062 --> 01:07:50,437 - Oh! 749 01:08:10,208 --> 01:08:13,957 - Thank you, sir. - Thank you. 750 01:08:14,003 --> 01:08:17,088 - Thank you, madam. - Thank you so much. 751 01:08:23,930 --> 01:08:25,175 Can I help you, sir? 752 01:08:27,016 --> 01:08:28,215 Cup of tea, please. 753 01:08:28,268 --> 01:08:30,260 We don't serve cups of tea, sir. 754 01:08:30,311 --> 01:08:32,802 Only pots, that's teapots, not piss pots, 755 01:08:32,856 --> 01:08:34,932 although we can always make exceptions. 756 01:08:34,983 --> 01:08:37,390 If you want a cup of tea you must go to the caff 757 01:08:37,444 --> 01:08:38,724 with all the other riffraff. 758 01:08:38,778 --> 01:08:41,186 - This is a café. - Pot of tea then. 759 01:08:41,239 --> 01:08:42,437 Smart arse. 760 01:08:42,490 --> 01:08:45,776 - Language. - And a bit of cake. 761 01:08:47,495 --> 01:08:48,610 Or a bun. 762 01:08:48,663 --> 01:08:51,581 Bath bun, Chelsea bun, currant bun, honey bun, up your bum. 763 01:08:51,624 --> 01:08:53,617 Fairy buns, seed cake, cherry cake, fruit cake, 764 01:08:53,668 --> 01:08:56,289 ginger cake, Eccles cake, teacake, lemon cakes, 765 01:08:56,337 --> 01:08:57,369 Swiss rolls, dinkie rolls, 766 01:08:57,422 --> 01:09:00,707 jam sandwiches, macaroons, cheese straws and scones. 767 01:09:00,759 --> 01:09:02,502 I'll just have the tea. 768 01:09:02,552 --> 01:09:03,667 Please. 769 01:09:05,180 --> 01:09:07,256 - Please. - Thank you. 770 01:09:16,316 --> 01:09:18,474 - Him, there. Can you see? - Yeah. 771 01:09:18,526 --> 01:09:20,400 All right, serve him, will you, Vickie? 772 01:09:20,445 --> 01:09:24,692 And if he asks where I've gone, tell him I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore. 773 01:09:30,997 --> 01:09:33,405 Tea, sir. 774 01:09:33,458 --> 01:09:35,664 Where's the... Where's the other young lady? 775 01:09:35,710 --> 01:09:38,497 - Pardon? - Where's the waitress who took my order? 776 01:09:38,546 --> 01:09:41,631 Oh, you mean the waitress who took your order, sir. 777 01:09:41,674 --> 01:09:43,050 That's right. 778 01:09:43,093 --> 01:09:45,797 She's got an urgent call and had to leave, sir. 779 01:09:47,597 --> 01:09:49,673 Where to? 780 01:09:49,724 --> 01:09:51,183 Singa-bloody-pore, sir. 781 01:10:09,911 --> 01:10:12,153 There he is. 782 01:10:12,205 --> 01:10:14,826 There he is. There he is. 783 01:10:17,502 --> 01:10:20,456 He thinks I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore! 784 01:10:23,842 --> 01:10:25,918 - Lynda! 785 01:10:33,017 --> 01:10:34,891 Sh! 786 01:10:45,739 --> 01:10:47,565 Lynda. 787 01:10:48,950 --> 01:10:51,192 I wish he'd clear off. 788 01:10:57,876 --> 01:11:00,367 Go away! Clear off! 789 01:11:05,884 --> 01:11:08,256 Lynda! 790 01:11:11,264 --> 01:11:13,470 Lynda! 791 01:11:13,516 --> 01:11:16,802 Why don't you just bugger off? Go away! 792 01:11:16,853 --> 01:11:18,810 Can't you see where you're not wanted? 793 01:11:18,855 --> 01:11:21,227 I don't need none of you, just bugger off! 794 01:11:23,109 --> 01:11:25,185 Lyndie! 795 01:11:25,236 --> 01:11:28,855 Lyndie, oh, I say! Never called me Lyndie before. 796 01:11:28,907 --> 01:11:32,192 Must be after something. Ha, bloody, ha! 797 01:11:32,243 --> 01:11:34,035 But I miss you. I came to see you. 798 01:11:34,079 --> 01:11:37,661 - I bet I know what you're missing! - Look, you just cleared off! 799 01:11:37,707 --> 01:11:39,534 I come back, you'd gone. 800 01:11:39,584 --> 01:11:41,909 I thought you'd still be there, I really did. 801 01:11:41,961 --> 01:11:44,583 Oh... just bugger off, I don't want to think about it. 802 01:11:44,631 --> 01:11:47,667 What's to think about? Come on, I'll take you for a drink. 803 01:11:47,717 --> 01:11:50,422 - You're just after your oats. - And your mate. 804 01:11:50,470 --> 01:11:53,305 I'll take you both for a drink... a meal, if you want. 805 01:11:53,348 --> 01:11:55,637 Oh, look out, Vickie, he's after the two of us. 806 01:11:55,683 --> 01:11:58,637 - Ahh, I bet you're missing it as well. - Do you? 807 01:11:58,686 --> 01:12:01,059 How much? How much do you want to bet? 808 01:12:01,106 --> 01:12:03,015 I wouldn't want to take your money. 809 01:12:03,066 --> 01:12:04,809 Lynda up the duff, then, 810 01:12:04,859 --> 01:12:08,442 what odds do you put on that, eh, Mr Clever Dick, eh? 811 01:12:08,488 --> 01:12:12,533 Oh, look, that's shut his gob. That's put a crease in his brand-new suit! 812 01:12:12,575 --> 01:12:14,734 - I don't believe you. - Don't you? 813 01:12:14,786 --> 01:12:17,111 - You're joking! - Am I? 814 01:12:17,163 --> 01:12:19,322 I don't believe you. 815 01:12:19,374 --> 01:12:22,244 - How? - How what? 816 01:12:22,293 --> 01:12:23,953 How do you know? 817 01:12:24,003 --> 01:12:28,297 You're the one that should know! You put it up me, Mr Bareback Rider. 818 01:12:28,341 --> 01:12:31,508 You knew when you were gonna spunk. How the hell was I supposed to know? 819 01:12:31,553 --> 01:12:33,426 No, you soft cow, I mean how do you know? 820 01:12:33,471 --> 01:12:35,797 - Are you sure? - You're the one all eyes. 821 01:12:35,849 --> 01:12:38,600 - Look! Can't you see? - No, I can't. 822 01:12:38,643 --> 01:12:40,849 All you see is tits and arses. 823 01:12:41,813 --> 01:12:44,648 - Have you seen a doctor? - Huh! 824 01:12:44,691 --> 01:12:46,767 Then how do you know it's mine? 825 01:12:46,818 --> 01:12:50,863 If it walks with a limp and thinks with its prick, then it's yours. 826 01:12:50,905 --> 01:12:54,109 But how do you know? I don't know that, do I? 827 01:12:54,159 --> 01:12:56,732 - You stupid... - Lynda! 828 01:12:56,786 --> 01:12:58,245 - Get off! - Lynda! 829 01:12:58,288 --> 01:13:00,660 - Get off! - Get off of me! Get off! 830 01:13:00,749 --> 01:13:03,749 Lynda! Lynda, stop it! 831 01:13:03,793 --> 01:13:05,952 Leave me alone! Piss off, you... 832 01:13:06,004 --> 01:13:08,459 Leave... me... alone! 833 01:13:08,506 --> 01:13:10,582 Piss off! 834 01:13:13,053 --> 01:13:14,595 Whoops-a-daisy. 835 01:13:14,637 --> 01:13:16,096 Lynda, come on. 836 01:13:16,139 --> 01:13:18,215 Here we are. 837 01:13:42,457 --> 01:13:44,533 Where's the paper? 838 01:14:01,017 --> 01:14:03,176 This is it. 839 01:14:12,737 --> 01:14:14,896 Doesn't look too bad. 840 01:14:16,991 --> 01:14:19,364 What does she do? Did Doris say? 841 01:14:19,411 --> 01:14:22,162 No. 842 01:14:22,205 --> 01:14:26,416 - Is it knitting needles and all that? - I don't know. 843 01:14:29,754 --> 01:14:31,830 How much? 844 01:14:40,056 --> 01:14:42,263 Where am I gonna get that sort of money? 845 01:14:51,943 --> 01:14:54,101 Come on, let's go and have a cup of tea. 846 01:15:14,382 --> 01:15:17,052 - Oh, sorry madam. I'm sorry. 847 01:15:24,017 --> 01:15:25,345 Yes, what do you want? 848 01:15:27,937 --> 01:15:29,135 Can I help you, sir? 849 01:15:29,189 --> 01:15:31,312 From the moment you walked through that door I thought, 850 01:15:31,357 --> 01:15:33,599 "That's my daughter and she's a slut!" 851 01:15:33,651 --> 01:15:34,980 Thank you, sir. Will that be all, sir? 852 01:15:35,028 --> 01:15:37,815 Don't be clever, Lynda. From where I'm sitting you don't look clever. 853 01:15:37,864 --> 01:15:39,655 I know why you're here and I don't want to discuss it. 854 01:15:39,699 --> 01:15:42,985 So, do you want a pot of tea or would you just prefer to clear off? 855 01:15:43,036 --> 01:15:45,194 - I'm disgusted, Lynda. - With lemon, sir? 856 01:15:45,246 --> 01:15:47,916 I thought I could have a perfectly reasonable conversation with you. 857 01:15:47,957 --> 01:15:50,994 - I thought I could come here and... - I don't want you here, I'm at work. 858 01:15:51,044 --> 01:15:53,582 And I've got Hermann Goebbels breathing down my neck, just clear off! 859 01:15:53,630 --> 01:15:57,295 I thought we could have a reasonable conversation but all I wanna do is clout you. 860 01:15:57,342 --> 01:15:59,381 Would you like a pot of tea first, sir? 861 01:15:59,427 --> 01:16:01,301 Listen to you and your mouth, look where it's got you. 862 01:16:01,346 --> 01:16:04,596 Dad, I can't discuss it. Will you just go away, I need this job! 863 01:16:04,641 --> 01:16:07,642 - You're going to need more than a job. - Oh, please, just bugger off! 864 01:16:07,685 --> 01:16:09,643 Is anything the matter, Miss Mansell? 865 01:16:09,687 --> 01:16:12,013 - Is everything to your satisfaction, sir? - No, it's not. 866 01:16:12,065 --> 01:16:14,271 Is everything to your satisfaction, sir? 867 01:16:14,317 --> 01:16:15,598 You see, what can you do? 868 01:16:15,652 --> 01:16:17,443 - How do you put up with it? - Oh, shut up! 869 01:16:17,487 --> 01:16:20,156 This is disgraceful. Go to the kitchen immediately, Miss Mansell. 870 01:16:20,198 --> 01:16:22,440 No, I won't go to the kitchen. Stuff the bloody kitchen. 871 01:16:22,492 --> 01:16:24,034 - Just watch your mouth! - Please! 872 01:16:24,077 --> 01:16:26,235 This is what it's like, you see, this is what you get. 873 01:16:26,287 --> 01:16:28,494 - Now you can begin to see my side of it. - Oh, please, just bugger off! 874 01:16:28,540 --> 01:16:29,571 - Now, please! - I said please. 875 01:16:29,624 --> 01:16:31,830 - Do you see? - Look, what is going on? 876 01:16:31,876 --> 01:16:33,916 - I've given her a lot of time... - Please, sir! 877 01:16:33,962 --> 01:16:35,789 - Made a lot of sacrifices. - Oh, God! 878 01:16:35,839 --> 01:16:39,753 - Though, God knows, you wouldn't think it. - What are you staring at, you old bag? 879 01:16:39,801 --> 01:16:42,422 Please. Mrs... Madam... please! 880 01:16:42,470 --> 01:16:44,379 - Well, she is an old bag! - That is enough! 881 01:16:44,431 --> 01:16:46,008 - Lynda! - Allow me to apologise. 882 01:16:46,057 --> 01:16:50,387 She whinges about everything. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, every bloody day. 883 01:16:50,437 --> 01:16:52,263 That is enough. Language, please! 884 01:16:52,313 --> 01:16:53,808 Well, it's true, what's wrong with the truth? 885 01:16:53,857 --> 01:16:56,015 You're fired! You are dismissed. 886 01:16:56,067 --> 01:16:57,478 - Get out! - No, I won't! 887 01:16:57,527 --> 01:17:00,100 This one goes around with his brown nose up in the air, 888 01:17:00,155 --> 01:17:02,859 down on the carpet, la-di-dah this, la-di-dah that. 889 01:17:02,907 --> 01:17:05,612 The cook spits in the buns and we all piss in the teapots. 890 01:17:05,660 --> 01:17:08,661 - That is enough. Out! - She's a bad lot, and that's the truth. 891 01:17:08,705 --> 01:17:10,828 Nothing but trouble, that's the way it's always been. 892 01:17:10,874 --> 01:17:13,993 - This is my father speaking. - Since she could speak, she's uttered filth. 893 01:17:14,044 --> 01:17:17,210 From the day she uttered her first word her tongue has caused nothing but trouble. 894 01:17:17,255 --> 01:17:19,046 - This is my father. - Sometimes I doubt it. 895 01:17:19,090 --> 01:17:22,755 - An insult to my dead mother. - I'm sorry but this cannot go on. 896 01:17:22,802 --> 01:17:26,503 I'm up the duff! That's what's up his nose! I'm pregnant! In the club! 897 01:17:26,556 --> 01:17:28,798 Right, that's it! That's enough! 898 01:17:28,850 --> 01:17:31,139 A man's willy has entered my person 899 01:17:31,186 --> 01:17:33,474 - and left a little visitor behind. - Get down! 900 01:17:33,521 --> 01:17:35,893 - This is a matter for the police. - This is the man 901 01:17:35,940 --> 01:17:37,933 - who once gave one to Gracie Fields. - Down! 902 01:17:37,984 --> 01:17:39,313 I'm calling the police. 903 01:17:39,360 --> 01:17:42,231 - A member of the British Legion. - Get down! 904 01:17:42,280 --> 01:17:45,447 - Am I the only one who does it? - This is not my daughter. 905 01:17:45,492 --> 01:17:47,401 - What do you lot do, eh? - Not my daughter. 906 01:17:47,452 --> 01:17:49,658 - What do you play with in bed at night? - I disown her! 907 01:17:49,704 --> 01:17:52,373 Hands up all those that like willies, I do! 908 01:17:53,416 --> 01:17:54,994 The police are coming. 909 01:17:55,043 --> 01:17:57,166 - Balls! - Ladies and Gentlemen... 910 01:17:57,212 --> 01:18:00,628 I would like to apologise for this disgraceful display... 911 01:18:00,673 --> 01:18:02,962 So what, I'm up the duff, who cares? 912 01:18:03,009 --> 01:18:05,500 - I will settle. - I like willies! 913 01:18:05,553 --> 01:18:09,421 - Get her down! - All these teas on me. Right? 914 01:18:09,474 --> 01:18:13,472 Sex! All of you! All you old bags look as if you could do with a nice bit of hot willy! 915 01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:17,849 - Get her down! - Sex! 916 01:18:52,058 --> 01:18:55,890 It's getting kind of close to the New Year and I'm feeling sentimental. 917 01:18:55,937 --> 01:18:58,938 I'm going to sing a song that means a lot to me and... 918 01:18:59,399 --> 01:19:00,561 somebody else. 919 01:19:00,608 --> 01:19:02,518 And if you don't like it that's just too bad. 920 01:19:02,569 --> 01:19:04,645 After all, I own the joint. 921 01:19:07,365 --> 01:19:11,493 ♪ It had to be you 922 01:19:12,078 --> 01:19:16,824 ♪ It had to be you 923 01:19:16,875 --> 01:19:19,282 ♪ I wandered around 924 01:19:19,335 --> 01:19:25,421 ♪ Finally found the somebody who 925 01:19:25,467 --> 01:19:29,844 ♪ Could make me be true 926 01:19:29,888 --> 01:19:34,466 ♪ Could make me be blue 927 01:19:34,517 --> 01:19:39,512 ♪ And even be glad, just to be sad... ♪ 928 01:19:39,564 --> 01:19:41,640 How long is it now? 929 01:19:43,109 --> 01:19:45,185 Three months, more or less. 930 01:19:46,488 --> 01:19:48,564 It's not too late. 931 01:19:49,657 --> 01:19:51,733 No. 932 01:19:53,953 --> 01:19:56,029 What happened? 933 01:19:57,582 --> 01:19:59,658 When? 934 01:19:59,709 --> 01:20:03,754 Your father came home very sorry for himself. Whatever happened? 935 01:20:04,923 --> 01:20:07,046 Silly bugger. 936 01:20:07,092 --> 01:20:10,128 I stood on a chair in the Paris Tea Rooms and shouted. 937 01:20:10,178 --> 01:20:13,796 I can't remember what I said. It was terrible. 938 01:20:14,682 --> 01:20:17,174 He offered to pay for everyone's teas. 939 01:20:19,771 --> 01:20:22,179 You didn't need to do that... 940 01:20:22,232 --> 01:20:24,308 not to your father. 941 01:20:26,945 --> 01:20:29,187 I'm not coming back, you know. 942 01:20:29,239 --> 01:20:31,315 No matter what. 943 01:20:32,909 --> 01:20:37,867 Where you gonna go then? Who's gonna want you with a baby? 944 01:20:37,914 --> 01:20:39,954 Where you gonna live? 945 01:20:39,999 --> 01:20:44,246 - Not in that dump. - Nobody's asking you to, my dear. 946 01:20:45,171 --> 01:20:48,955 Things like this don't happen in that sort of town. 947 01:20:49,008 --> 01:20:51,215 I can just see your father's face. 948 01:20:53,513 --> 01:20:56,265 Go down well at the Freemasons. 949 01:20:58,393 --> 01:21:02,391 He didn't have to stick with you, you know, when your mum died. 950 01:21:02,439 --> 01:21:04,515 Nor your sister. 951 01:21:04,566 --> 01:21:08,314 - My boring bloody sister. - Now, you leave her alone, she's all right. 952 01:21:10,280 --> 01:21:13,649 Thank God she's not like you. Two of you like that, my God! 953 01:21:15,326 --> 01:21:17,533 He could have put you in a home, you know. 954 01:21:19,122 --> 01:21:23,202 Not many men would have done what he did on his own with two young girls. 955 01:21:26,004 --> 01:21:29,455 - He didn't love me. - Oh, yes, he did. 956 01:21:29,507 --> 01:21:32,294 He didn't show it. 957 01:21:32,343 --> 01:21:36,044 You can't show that kind of thing, not in this day and age. 958 01:21:40,060 --> 01:21:42,811 You're a pretty young thing... 959 01:21:42,854 --> 01:21:45,262 you're funny, but you're pretty. 960 01:21:46,274 --> 01:21:50,817 You could get yourself a nice husband. Somebody who'd really look after you. 961 01:21:53,615 --> 01:21:55,358 Do you think? 962 01:21:55,408 --> 01:21:58,030 Yeah, I do. 963 01:21:58,078 --> 01:22:01,032 But not like that. 964 01:22:01,081 --> 01:22:03,998 Who's going to want you like that? 965 01:22:05,377 --> 01:22:07,453 It's not too late. Not yet. 966 01:22:10,298 --> 01:22:13,501 Would you know where to go if you wanted to get rid of it? 967 01:22:14,803 --> 01:22:18,088 It's all right for you to say that. It's not you that has to do it. 968 01:22:18,139 --> 01:22:21,010 No, that's right, Lyndie, you're right. 969 01:22:27,190 --> 01:22:29,266 What if I had it? 970 01:22:29,317 --> 01:22:31,393 Then have it adopted. 971 01:22:33,321 --> 01:22:35,397 You must've thought about it. 972 01:22:37,325 --> 01:22:39,152 You keep that kid and nobody'll want you. 973 01:22:39,202 --> 01:22:42,867 Nobody'll want to know you, nobody'll want to own you. Nobody. 974 01:22:44,916 --> 01:22:48,961 Forget the whole thing, bury it. Nobody need know a thing about it. 975 01:22:51,256 --> 01:22:56,498 Christ, it's tough enough, you don't have to go round banging your head with a hammer. 976 01:22:56,553 --> 01:22:58,629 Look at me. 977 01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:03,674 Look at your father. Well, I'm hardly ancient, neither's he. 978 01:23:03,727 --> 01:23:07,178 I lost Bill, he lost your mum and we're on our own, stuck! 979 01:23:07,230 --> 01:23:09,306 There's always enough pain. 980 01:23:10,734 --> 01:23:13,485 What about Maisie Mathews? 981 01:23:13,528 --> 01:23:15,568 Well, why shouldn't he? 982 01:23:15,613 --> 01:23:19,113 What's he expected to do the rest of his life? 983 01:23:19,159 --> 01:23:21,235 I wish I had somebody. 984 01:23:23,121 --> 01:23:26,739 I hope he used a plonker. I'd hate to see what'd come out of her. 985 01:23:29,419 --> 01:23:32,124 That's good advice, coming from you. 986 01:23:38,928 --> 01:23:41,598 You're gonna have to make your own mind up. 987 01:23:41,639 --> 01:23:44,177 - I've got to go. - Not yet. 988 01:23:44,225 --> 01:23:49,101 It's the buses. I spent ages waiting for you. 989 01:23:49,147 --> 01:23:52,148 - I'm sorry. - Here. 990 01:23:53,109 --> 01:23:55,600 Now, think about what I said. 991 01:23:55,653 --> 01:23:57,942 You've got to look after yourself, Lyndie. 992 01:23:58,782 --> 01:24:00,442 Here. 993 01:24:02,911 --> 01:24:06,030 Would you know where to go if that's what you decided? 994 01:24:10,668 --> 01:24:14,037 - To get rid of it? - If that's what you decided. 995 01:24:15,924 --> 01:24:17,751 I could find out. 996 01:24:19,636 --> 01:24:22,802 I'm going to go, so just you take care. 997 01:26:34,270 --> 01:26:36,346 There you go. 998 01:27:20,024 --> 01:27:22,101 Hello, you lot. Hello, Brian. 999 01:28:05,278 --> 01:28:07,401 Yes, it's mine. 1000 01:28:07,947 --> 01:28:10,023 All mine. 1001 01:29:22,856 --> 01:29:26,189 ♪ When it comes to dreams 1002 01:29:26,234 --> 01:29:30,861 ♪ Love has always played a leading part 1003 01:29:31,698 --> 01:29:35,861 ♪ I don't play for dimes and nickels 1004 01:29:36,745 --> 01:29:42,284 ♪ I don't play to be the last 1005 01:29:42,333 --> 01:29:45,169 ♪ When it comes to love 1006 01:29:45,211 --> 01:29:49,957 ♪ I shoot first, shoot to kill 1007 01:29:50,008 --> 01:29:54,800 ♪ I aim straight for the heart 1008 01:30:13,865 --> 01:30:16,190 ♪ You won't 1009 01:30:16,242 --> 01:30:18,994 ♪ Forsake me 1010 01:30:19,037 --> 01:30:21,706 ♪ To heaven 1011 01:30:21,748 --> 01:30:23,824 ♪ You take me 1012 01:30:24,876 --> 01:30:27,201 ♪ Don't try 1013 01:30:27,253 --> 01:30:29,163 ♪ To wake me 1014 01:30:29,214 --> 01:30:31,787 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 1015 01:30:31,841 --> 01:30:34,167 ♪ You won't 1016 01:30:34,219 --> 01:30:36,792 ♪ Forsake me 1017 01:30:36,846 --> 01:30:39,551 ♪ To heaven 1018 01:30:39,599 --> 01:30:41,675 ♪ You take me 1019 01:30:42,977 --> 01:30:45,100 ♪ Don't try 1020 01:30:45,146 --> 01:30:46,854 ♪ To wake me 1021 01:30:46,898 --> 01:30:49,436 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 1022 01:30:49,859 --> 01:30:51,935 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 73373

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