Original subtitles

SUBTITLES: LU�S FILIPE BERNARDES

Tudo bem. And what brings you to Rio?

I think I came here for the UNO.

- UNO? - You know.

N�o fa�a isso, menina, n�o fa�a isso, menina...

...que eu fico louco, fico louco. Fico maluco.

Did you arrive on this ship?

I'll have you know I came here on my own private boat.

Yeah, on a tramp steamer.

Entendi tudo, entendi tudo. Mas pequena bonita aqui � mato...

...aqui � mato.

And what do you do for your 'ganha p�o'?

- For my what? - For your living.

- Your living. - I'm not leaving, I just got here.

No, no, senhorita n�o compreendeu.

- What do you do for your money? - Oh, that's different.

Tell him, girls, I'm tired.

# Haven't you heard about Linda? #

# Linda's the star of the show #

# Well, follow me, sisters #

# While I tell him how my tootsies # # Got these callouses and blisters #

# It's a long story # # It's a long, long story #

# When I was just a tot of three #

# My mother used to scare # # the living stuff out of me. #

# She'd say, Lindy, #

# Come up here and do your tapping #

# - Get up here, girl # # - I said, tappin'... #

# Mama, what can happen from tappin'? #

# That's what I said to her # # I told her just that #

# She said, you can get # # Into a Broadway show #

# Meet a rich millionaire # # With a load of dough #

# Well, I worked real hard # # Until I reached my peak #

# Captain of the chorus at twenty a week #

# And then I met him # # He was rich #

# He was wonderful #

# He was rich, he was marvelous #

# He was rich #

# I thrilled when I touched him #

# And then... and then he touched me #

# Not often # # just a five here and a ten there #

# Yeah, he touched me all right # # Now I got the bills to prove it #

# It's a long story #

# It's a long, long story #

# Linda, now that you're in Brazil #

# You'll find someone, you will #

# Most assuredly will #

# Who will fly with your heart #

# To a heaven so high #

# Till the world and its gold #

# Is a dot in the sky #

# Ai, ai, # # Thank you, buddy, but I... #

# Came to Brazil to get back to New York # # To retire on Park Avenue #

# Cause my mother is now 52 #

# And she wants to produce a review #

# She said to grab # # A Brazilian with a million #

# In the casino, cafe or the beach #

# And if you can't find # # A Brazilian with a million #

# Take two # # With a half a million each #

# Save one for me #

How uh... how's it going, Frank?

- Great. - Oh, great.

Great? He says it's...

Well, of course it's great!

All right, take out your house and bring up your foots.

Now listen, kids, this is the opening show.

I want to get out there and sell this number...

...don't give it away. Nice work, kids.

Steve! Steve!

Oh, you were swell, Linda. You too, Tito.

Thank you, Steve.

Who said we couldn't get along without the great Vicki Dean?

Now, don't kid yourself.

We still need one of Vicki's numbers before we hit Broadway.

Why, Steve, darling, I believe you're still biased.

Could be. Vicki's still tops in staging stock numbers, you know.

Is that your only interest?

Smart girls shouldn't ask needling questions.

Now go pour yourself into your next costume.

Don't forget the party in my dressing room between shows.

Yeah, I'll be there.

Life can be a funny thing, Linda darling.

Yeah? I'm not getting hysterical over it.

You burn for him, he does not burn for you.

I burn for you, but you do not burn for me.

Sounds like a wet match.

Here. Go change your clothes and stop talking lie a lovesick pyromaniac.

Huh?

Senhorita Vicki Dean, New York City.

You are the one who is behind the scenes of Senhor Farraugh's Revue.

Was! Was!

Fortunately Senhor Farraugh's scenes are behind me now.

Senhor John Habour, Pippinville, Iowa, U.S.A.

- Home of the clean tooth. - Huh?

Oh, my company's product, Pearly Dent toothpaste.

It contains the fenolinamide mercuro-bystolic oxilite

Huh?

No other manufacturer can make that statement.

I am very grateful, senhor. I will keep it for a souvenir.

No, you don't keep it. You use it.

Of course. Thank you.

A long stay, senhorita?

No, just for the night. We leave for the States in the morning.

Oh, where will I find Sr. Farraugh?

Backstage. Or in his suite. 202, down the corridor.

Thank you. I won't be more than 10 minutes, dear.

- I hope. - Even 10 minutes...

...is a long time to be away from you, precious.

What did you say, John?

Oh, I just said, even ten minutes...

I said even 10 minutes is a long time to be away from you, precious.

Don't be embarrassed, John, I heard it.

I just wanted to hear it again.

Steve only called me precious when he forgot my name.

- He didn't want to spoil me. - I'd like to spoil him.

You sure you don't want me to come along with you?

I could talk to him man-to-man.

- He isn't a man, he's my ex-husband. - Well, even so...

Darling, this is woman's work, believe me.

All right, but if he gets rough remember...

I'm here.

As if I could ever forget it.

Will you keep still?

How do you expect me to get anywhere with you if you keep slipping away?

Sweetest picture I've seen since Whistler's Mother.

Oh, go away. I'm...

Well, well, well, hello, Vick.

Hello, Steve. Still too big for your britches, I see.

You've got your 'Rs' mixed, this is Rio.

Thought you were in Reno.

That's been over for some time.

All set to go back to work.

No. My stop here is strictly personal business.

Here, give me that.

Why don't you use a crowbar and a rope?

Brass widowers can't be particular.

Now let's not feel sorry for ourselves.

Uh, would you mind if I sat down?

There's always a lamp burning in the window for you, dear.

Well, I jumped out of that window two months ago.

In case it slipped your memory.

That's where you made your greatest mistake.

But I'm glad you realized it and came back.

It's no mistake and I'm not back.

I just stopped off between planes for New York to get a good night's sleep.

Hm, seeing me in your dreams, eh?

Oh, no, Mama doesn't dream about you anymore, Steve.

You wouldn't know the old girl from Adam.

Oh, yes I would.

You stand next to Adam and I bet I could pick you out 9 times out of 10.

You're repeating your act. You used that the night you proposed.

I see you still remember it.

I remember everything. That's why I divorced you.

- May I have one of those? - Oh, sure.

- And a match. - Hm, sure.

Thank you.

You know, Vicki, I sort of wished you hadn't done that.

- Done what? - Divorced me.

It makes a fellow lose faith in himself.

Gives him a feeling he isn't wanted.

Look, junior, it may come as a surprise, but that's what divorces are for.

Oh, that's nonsense.

You got that old-fashioned idea that divorces last forever?

Till death do us part?

Today divorces don't mean a thing.

Just a few words mumbled over you by a judge.

We've got something between us that nothing can change.

Sure we have. I know that you're a stinker that'll never change.

I agree with you only because you undoubtedly got proof.

Your desk is just like your life.

Two telephones because you're two-faced.

Memos, bills, also powders,

and for a paper weight there used to be a picture of me.

Wishful thinking. Very indicative.

You know I'm glad you threw it away?

All you did was knock it over reaching for the telephone.

I knocked it over for keeps the last time, Vicki.

Somebody drew a mustache on it.

Anyway, it didn't look the same after you left me.

Why did you promise not to tangle things...

...and then try to gum up the whole divorce?

Well, you know how it is, you don't miss the water till the well runs dry.

A goon your age hiring a plane to sky-write...

'Vicki, don't be hasty. Remember my dimples. Steed.'

You must admit it was very original.

So original it tied up the whole proceedings...

...while the judge went out to look it over.

Vicki, I've still got that dimple...

...in the same place.

And I only did what any husband would do...

...who doesn't want to see his home broken up.

Home? What home?

What home? The home I promised you, don't you remember?

Oh, yes, of course.

The one we were going to have right after the honeymoon.

Three years ago!

Well, was it my fault that Oscar Ravel wanted a floor show in two weeks?

I don't know. All I know is that I spent my honeymoon...

... in the smoking room of the El Lobo putting on dances.

- Vicki, the fact remains... - Please, Steve, that's all washed up.

- Let's not fight that battle over again. - Good!

I'll tell you what, Vicki.

You come back, go to work on the show.

If we find out we don't get along together,

we can get married again.

- What? - Sure! I haven't got any hard feelings.

Steve, you're really wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.

Well the fact still remains. You walked out on a show half produced.

You can't do that to these people.

You used to be a pretty good producer yourself, remember?

We were a good producer. The two of us made one.

We worked together, we belong together, Vicki...

- ...like caviar and champagne. - Or like ham and eggs?

Well, we worked from those up to better things.

We made that climb together. Oh, Vicki, I haven't got your touch!

- Will you please let me tell you... - Honey, you don't have to apologize...

...for what you've done. Just get in there and do your stuff.

Only this time don't spoil everything by marrying me.

Oh! I suppose I proposed to you!

Practically. I still claim I'd been drinking that night.

Any gentleman would have forgotten all about it.

You... you!

Hello!

It's for you!

Hello... Oh, no, we're just sitting here talking over old times.

Yes...

Oh, hello, Louise.

No, no, Steve, this is Tito. You know, Tito! La-la-la-la...

I go on in a few minutes with Veloz and Yolanda.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Louise, but...

Well, you get a dog show now and then.

Yeah, well those things happen, Louise.

Well, I was thinking of junking the whole number...

...and throwing in something else.

Walked out? Well, did you try giving away free dishes like I suggested?

They did?

Did they hit anybody?

Don't shout! Well there must be some way of getting them in.

Club them, if you have to!

We're not going to play the second show to an empty house. Goodbye!

Trouble, trouble, trouble, from every department.

Well, add one more from my department.

You know, Vick, you got back just in time. I was just telling the kids in the cast...

Will you listen to me? All I want is your signature on this divorce service.

Unless my memory fails me, I've already signed one of these.

Your memory didn't fail you, but your ink did.

- Huh? - Quit acting.

You know you signed the original one with disappearing ink.

Did I?

This time my lawyer requested you use my pen.

It's filled with indelible ink.

Under the circumstances, are you divorced or am I still responsible?

Oh, I'm divorced, but I have to prove that you accepted service...

...or I can't remarry.

Honey, in that case you've nothing to worry about!

What do you mean nothing to worry about?

It just happens that I'm in love!

Don't fight it, Vicki. It's bigger than both of us!

- Not with you, you conceited, irrespon... - Temper, temper, temper.

Do you see this? People use them as a preface to marriage.

- It's an engagement ring. - Engagement ring?

I tried to tell you but you wouldn't let me.

I'm getting married, Steve.

Putting the lid on your tempest teapot.

I have a one-way ticket out of this brawl...

...I used to call my career.

It isn't a vice, Vicki, that you can swear off.

It's a way of life. Your way.

Oh, you'll be like the old fire horse.

First puff of smoke you'll be back in harness.

Running the other way.

- You know what you want. - Yes.

- You won't accept any substitutes. - No.

Even if life has something better to offer.

Life has offered me a husband and I've accepted.

A real husband!

So you got a real husband.

I will have, as soon as we get back to the States.

We? You mean he's here with you?

Yes. I met him in Buenos Aires.

- Rich, I presume. - A comfortable income.

- Hello, Steve. - Oh, hello, Caroline.

- Hello, Alice. - Hi!

Hello, Mrs. Farraugh, glad to see you back.

Thank you, Frank. It's Miss Dean again.

- Big cattle rancher, huh? - Toothpaste.

- Did you say toothpaste? - I did.

You mean that soapy stuff...

...that gets all over your dressing gowns in the morning?

What's wrong with toothpaste? It's a nice, clean business.

Oh, sure, it fairly takes my breath away.

I mean, it's got the flavor of romance and adventure about it.

Oh, I can see you and the children...

...filling those little tubes on cold wintery nights.

John happens to be vice-president of the Pearly Dent Company.

Oh, that's what I like to see.

A young man with both his feet firmly planted...

...on top of his desk.

- Will you... - Shh! The Copacabana number's on.

This'll knock your eye out.

- If you don't knock it out first! - Shh!

Veloz and Yolanda, Tito Guizar and a page from your notebook.

What a terrific combination!

- Two daiquiris, please. - You are expecting someone?

- No. - Alone at Copacabana? Impossible.

Not exactly. I'm stepping out with a memory tonight.

- A blond memory? - A brunette memory.

Tell me. How did you meet her, senhor?

# I heard her voice beside me say #

# A daiquiri #

# I looked at her, said, 'If I may #

# The same for me #

# Copacabana #

# Copacabana #

# You and your Carnival air #

# So devil may care, # # Encourage me #

# I offered her a wedding band #

# Right there and then #

# She said I want one on my hand #

# Never again #

# Copacabana #

# Copacabana #

# Dance for the fond memory #

# I find with every daiquiri #

# Copacabana #

They're lovely, aren't they?

Yeah, I'm planning to use them in the new finale.

Planning? You mean you haven't got one yet?

Oh, sure, sure. What's more, it was received with deafening silence.

But I'll think of something.

You know, I wish I... Uh... hm.

That's true beauty. Sheer poetry.

You look at that you realize why you're working.

- Let's go. - It's like a poem.

I said let's go.

You know, I'm building a whole new finale around them.

Something allegoric.

Veloz will represent man, the unconquerable.

And Yolanda will represent woman, the... unconquerable.

You'll want them to come for you with a net?

The chorus will weave through it all...

...carrying Latin American flags,

representing, of course, all the Latin American countries.

Oh, brother!

Oh, this is the finish. I want you to catch it!

- Very good, Frank. - All right, take your curtain calls.

Now do you see what I say about the finish?

I want to get something with more snap to it.

Like bubble gum?

No, I want to hit them with something big.

It's all right if they don't hit back in self-defense.

That's my point, Vicki. You've got that infallible instinct.

Well, I mean, if anything's wrong, you know it,

and with what we've got here...

Are you going to sign this or do I have to call out the marines?

Much applause. I cannot take so many bows.

What's the matter with a lot of bows?

Because the blood rushes to my head.

- Oh, Vicki! - Hello, Tito.

- Are you back for good? - Good or bad, I'm leaving tomorrow.

I was just telling Steve yesterday.

If you could only be here for the opening. The show is so wonderful.

- Oh.. - We want you to...

Save it!

Uh, we hoped you'd get back in time to save it.

- Well, what is there to save? - Nothing, nothing.

We'll throw out everything if we have to.

- But the audience keeps... - So quiet! So darn quiet.

Oh, listen, tell Linda to keep that opening number moving, will you?

- It died the first show. - Died?

Oh, you noticed it too?

Oh, sure, Steve, sure.

Well, I'll see you later, Vicki.

Uh...

All right, all right, I'll sign your paper!

I can be generous, even if you can't.

But before I sign myself away I want to meet your toothpaste impresario.

- What for? - What for? So I can study him!

I want to model myself after him.

I want to compare my own shoddy personality...

with that of this paragon of virtue!

- What's the matter, you afraid? - No, of course not!

All right, then let's get at it.

At least when I'm with John he opens doors for me.

He treats me like a lady.

What do I treat you like, a water buffalo?

I don't know any water buffalos, but I do know John.

He's sweet and considerate. He wants a home and children.

Sound like the guy I should marry.

Well, well, well,

so this is the plucky little man who's going to make a brave new world for Vicki.

- No, no, he's... - I can see my wife's raised her standard.

- You must be mistaken. - Can't mistake the mark of sterling.

- Be good to her, John... - Stop it, you fool!

She doesn't ask for much, a nod, a tender word, a gentle caress...

- Excuse me, but... - We don't need any comics.

It's the little things that count with Vicki, things like undying love...

...and her destiny of petty annoyances.

Believe me, John, if I had to do it all over again I...

I... Ai, ai, ai, what a thought.

- You can say that again. - But... I'm John.

- Hm? - John. - Oh, over there.

If you ever need anything, fella,

money, a friend, a word of advice, a new deal,

- You know where you can go. - I'll buy that.

- I happen to be John Habour. - You're John Habour?

- Yes. - Well, who is... who are you?

I'm Sonny Kirkeby.

Well, see here, Sonny, is this matter any concern of yours?

No.

Well in the future I'll thank you to keep your nose out of my business.

There's a wise guy in every lobby. I'm terribly sorry about this, Mr. Habour.

- Oh, that's quite all right. - It's a natural mistake, John...

- You don't mind if I call you John? - Not at all.

After all, we're practically related, aren't we?

In a way, I suppose that's true.

Of course Vicki led me to expect a much older man.

- Now, just what did I say that... - It doesn't matter.

I realize you didn't mean older in years.

Tell me, John, do you always carry an umbrella?

Well, it looked a little dubious outside...

...and I thought we might do some sightseeing.

Atta boy, health comes first, I always say.

Well, shall we go?

Where are we going?

We're going on the terrace, have supper and watch the show...

- Didn't Vicki tell you? - Vicki did not...

...and we're doing nothing of the sort.

Oh, that's Vicki for you. Changeable and unpredictable.

But you'll get used to it.

You want me to sign that paper in John's presence, don't you dear?

All right, have it your way, but it won't get you anywhere.

That's what you grow to love about Vicki.

She gives in after you beat her brains out.

Well, you seem to have a full house.

Why not, they're all friends, Louise's and mine.

- Which one's yours? - I'll let you know after the show,

or I might lose him, too.

Reservation, senhor? Oh, desculpe-me, Sr. Farraugh.

I feel a little embarrassed with so many people dressed.

Don't you give it a thought, John.

They'll just think you're some harmless drunk that wandered in.

# To buy you some bread roll # # You need dinero #

# Mucho dinero #

# You can't live on besos # # You gotta have pesos #

# Mucho dinero #

# A gay caballero with poco dinero #

# Doom gets the air-o #

# And if you should doubt it # # Try doing without it #

# Mucho dinero #

Uh, have a seat, John.

- You got a waiter handy, Fernando? - Um momento.

Well, what'll it be, Vicki, a rhum passion?

You used to go for those the big way when you were younger.

Well, I'm old enough to know better now. Scotch and water, please.

I'll have the same. Do you feel like a little passion, John?

- Don't mind if I do. - That's two scotches and water and uh...

- ...a passion. - Muito bem, senhor.

Well, well, well...

Two little love birds. How does it feel, John?

It feels pretty good, Steve.

Pretty good!

Well, I felt the same way before I took the leap.

Shook me up a bit when I landed, though.

But you haven't got a thing to worry about, John, not a thing.

The first few years are the hardest and... I had those.

Oh, but you're getting a great little woman.

- Great! - I think so.

Yes, she grows on you. Like a tender vine.

You must be reading my mind.

You know, that's what makes her such a cracking-good showwoman.

A wonderful imagination.

Do you know she once imagined I was the only guy in the world?

Somebody should have told me there were others.

I would have shopped around.

But I will admit that I never had anything before I married Vicki.

But I had to find that out after we were married.

Oh, now, Vicki!

Oh, you'll get used to that, John.

You see, she's allergic to her past.

She breaks out in rash statements. But she's the life of the party.

- Always good for a laugh. - Yes, and she sings too.

- Oh, you found that out? - Naturally. She's told me everything.

Well, I think that's the best way.

I'm glad you know about the time we got drunk together...

...before we were married.

I don't think I recall.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry! Me and my big mouth.

- Yes... - Well, let's change the subject.

- Don't you dare! - Well, I mean, I didn't realize...

Oh, I merely invited Vicki up to my apartment for a bite to eat...

...or something.

- Or what? - Or nothing.

I was too busy working.

I'll say you were. You were in the middle of an inspiration,

broke in to the leading man, hotel room 3:00 in the morning.

- Oh well, I wasn't alone. - Of course not!

You brought the whole orchestra with you to prove your point.

- Remember the fellow with the base drum... - How would I forget that?

Oh, I'm sorry, John. Show business.

You sure you won't miss all that too much, Vicki?

- No. - Why, of course not, John,

You can give Vicki what she really wants.

Regular hours, luncheons, housework,

plenty of fresh air...

- I can give her that, all right. - I'll bet you can.

Uh, where did you say you were going to settle?

Pippinville.

That's funny, it sounded just like you said Pippinville.

I did. Pippinville, Iowa. Population 10.000

We're only 30 miles from Des Moines.

Oh, well, it's nice to be near the center of things.

Pippinville was just a hamlet till Pearly Dent toothpaste came in there.

- Just a small cavity, eh? - My mother has a lovely home there.

We're going to live with her.

Oh, isn't that swell? A home with mother in Pippinville?

It's a mighty fine town. We grow corn higher than your head.

- I'll bet. - At least it's a new brand.

- Oi! - Oh, I'm sorry.

- Perd�o, senhorita. - You owe me one.

Well, to the bride and groom.

No more numbers, no more routines, no more songs and rhythms to worry about.

- You wanna bet? - Save your money.

You know, I could prove to you that you're kidding yourself...

...but why destroy your illusions?

- I'll take the chance. - Okay, you asked for it.

If Madriguera's next number doesn't get you going,

...I'll sign your paper.

Give you my blessings, five dozen diapers,

and promise faithfully to brush my teeth twice a day with Pearly Dent toothpaste.

It's a deal.

# To play the minute samba # # takes a minute #

# A minute #

# Sixty seconds of Brazil are in it # # Are in it #

# So maestro won't you kindly violin it #

# We will time this new tune # # Do begin it #

# Come on get ready, get set # # One, two, three #

# Go! #

# And if you play it in a minute #

# What a thrill is in it #

# The samba, samba, samba #

# The minute samba #

Don't forget, now, twice daily with Pearly Dent.

And, to start you off, I'll give you the brush.

It's amazing. All right, I'll sign.

- You sure you don't want my fingerprints? - No, thanks, I've still got those.

Ah-hah! Not with disappearing ink, you don't!

- Give him your pen, John. Delighted.

I give you emancipation.

Now I know how the slaves felt.

- Now I know how Lincoln felt. - Before or after he was shot?

I'll take charge of that this time, if you don't mind.

I'm glad to see you assert yourself, John.

You have to do that with Vicki.

She practically made an introvert out of me.

Oh, 14 psychoanalysts and a Zulu witchdoctor couldn't do that.

Wouldn't a rivet job save wear and tear?

It's an idea of Mother's. Father was always a little careless.

- I'd say reckless was a better word. - Well, I say, better be safe than sorry.

Well, there we are, snug as a bug in a rug.

- And thank you very much. - Don't mention it.

Just tell'em where you got her.

Well, let's make merry, shall we? It's almost showtime.

Oh, frankly, I must apologize for the show...

...it hasn't worked out the way I wanted.

- What's wrong? - Oh, Vicki'll tell us that...

...after she's seen the show.

I'm not saying and I'm not seeing. Let's go, John.

Oh now, wait, Vicki. Cooperation's the life blood of enterprise.

Yes, I know. Steve's had me anemic for years.

Isn't it amazing what a signature on a little piece of paper will do?

Vicki Dean is no longer responsible for Steve Farraugh's tough luck.

Oh, Vicki will want to help you, won't you, dear?

It's such a little thing.

A little thing? Doctoring up a sick show?

Well, thanks for trying, John.

But you'll have to learn that when Vicki says no she means no.

And there isn't anything you can say about it.

Vicki will be glad to help you. I'm sure she will.

I hope you don't regret this, John.

Regret it?

Since when do men regret looking at beautiful women...

...and listening to lovely music, eh, John?

Yes, sir!

Well, that's settled. I have to go backstage for a minute but...

I'll be back before the show's over.

Not a bad sort, Farraugh, when you get to know him.

Oh, yes indeed. He's capable of making some girl quite happy...

...slap happy.

Enric.

On the second chorus of Linda's number double the tempo.

You know, step it up? Just this show.

Without a rehearsal? It'll throw her higher than a kite.

Oh, she can handle it. Go ahead, try it.

Come in.

Hi! Oh, I'm sorry I couldn't make your party...

...but I had some business to take care of.

The way I heard it, you're back doing business the same old stand.

She couldn't stay away from Daddy, huh?

She just stopped off to return a couple of insults.

She's hot-footing it for matrimony again...

...and she's got her New-Deal candidate with her.

- Holy wedlock? - Uh-huh.

And you're not going to throw a monkey wrench in the works?

Why should I try to stop her?

She's never reached the age of reason...

...and she's well passed the age of consent.

If she wants to fill my shoes with a squirt of toothpaste,

...well, that's her business. I got my own worries.

Oh, yeah...

- About your number for this show. - Yeah?

I want you to take that second chorus half tempo.

Half tempo? That's too slow...

It'll give you a chance to beat out the taps.

More oomph, more shmalz.

I've already told Madriguera.

Okay, Steve. You name it.

- I'll do it. - Yeah... swell.

If this show is half as good as the dinner show, we're in.

# When a man meets a woman #

# She's liable to think he's human #

# Unless she's the kind of woman #

# Who knows her own #

# Take the advice, amigos #

# From one who knows #

# Don't be fooled by how he talks #

# Or the upright way he walks #

# Cause a man is a brother #

# To a mule #

# When a man gets contrary #

# A woman had best be weary #

# Unless she's the kind of Mama #

# Who knows her mules #

# Take the advice, muchachos #

# From one who's wise #

# Cultivate his gentle side # # Cause when you get neath his hide #

# Then a man is a brother #

# To a mule #

# You tell him to stay # # And he says go #

# You tell him to go # # And he says no #

# Cause a man #

# Is a brother to a mule #

# He may have a dozen hats #

# Wear a sporty coat and pads #

# But a man is a brother #

# To a mule #

- See what I mean? - Beginning to.

# Don't be fooled by how he talks #

# Or the upright way he walks #

# Cause a man is a brother #

# To a mule #

You double-crossing skunk!

Smile to your public when you say that, dear.

Listen, baby, I know what I'm doing.

So do I. Trying to make me look bad so Vicki'll stay and help.

You look good to me, darling.

A troupe of skunks like that couldn't make you look bad.

And if you ever get to Pippinville, just scamper through on all fours.

- Listen, Vicki... - Goodbye, it's been jolly.

Sorry... There goes a perfectly good idea...

- ...you kicked right in the face. - Serves you right!

- You didn't care where you kicked me. - I'm beginning to.

Your public, dear, your public.

Your uh... your name Irikie Bowers?

- That depends. - On what?

Is your name trouble?

I'm Steve Farraugh, I own the show inside.

Hey, you got a lot of good-looking tomatoes.

I got a lot of lettuce to go with it if you can give me a little information.

You can get that for a nickel in any telephone booth.

Uh-huh.

I'm looking for a smart guy to heist a wallet.

Wrong number.

I'm coming to the 2.000 cruzeiro question.

- That means $100 to you. - Hold the phone!

I'm just the guy for you. Used to work the subways in New York.

Got so good he could snatch a man's suspenders on Times Square...

...and his pants wouldn't fall down when he hit Brooklyn.

What did you do with all those suspenders?

That's my business.

- How's business? - Oh, pretty good. I...

Where can we talk?

Step right into the office. The girl's out to lunch.

Pr�ximo avi�o da Panair. Partida para Bel�m, e de l�, Miami.

Well, darling, we made it in spite of your dire forebodings.

I don't get it. Steve must be slipping. You sure you got the tickets?

The tickets? Of course.

I felt sure he'd try and stop us...

...and curious about what method he'd use.

- My wallet! It's gone! - End of curiosity.

- The tickets, the firm's money! - And the signed divorce papers.

But it's impossible. The safety pin's still fastened.

Did he brush up against you, or shake your hand,

or pat you on the back or anything when he said goodbye?

No, no, it was very informal, he just said...

...'Good luck, old man, any wife of yours is a wife of mine.'

- Why do you ask? - He had an actor once...

who wanted to walk out on him,

Steve asked him for a light and then had him pinched for arson.

That's ridiculous, you may not like the man but he's not a pickpocket.

Let's don't talk about him if we can't laud him.

I had this safety pin after I left him...

All right, all right, take the luggage back to the taxi.

Show's over. I'm terribly sorry.

Have you any idea where the wallet could be? Have you got a hunch?

Yes, and if you want me to call my shots, it's in Steve's pocket.

Will you please stop undressing that orange and listen to me?

- Pretty, isn't it? - Everything we owned was in that wallet.

Including the divorce papers.

When you can't trust a safety pin what is the world coming to?

Think of the psychological effect on millions of babies.

Have a piece.

You must have been hatched out of an ice cube.

Opposites attract.

Aw, Vicki, I know how you feel. It's a tough break.

- And you had nothing to do with it. - Cross my heart!

That's the wrong side.

Well, I was going to say it's a cinch to replace the money and...

...I can wangle you a couple of airplane tickets, but the divorce papers...

- That's another thing. - But that's the most important thing.

Yeah, you'll just have to call your lawyers in Reno...

...and have them mail you another form.

Oh, that'll hold us here four days at least.

Rough.

Maybe uh... you could do a little work just to while away the time.

What sort of work?

Oh, I'm not averse to assistance if it'll make you happy.

You're a born weasel!

You know, someday I'm going to resent these short, nasty biographies.

Well, if it's too short, I can double it.

Maybe John could bribe the airport and the telephone company with toothpaste.

All right, stop twisting my arm. What's it worth to you?

I'll double your salary and kick in the airplane tickets.

What about the $5.000 that belongs to John's firm?

You might as well kiss that goodbye.

We'll skip the kisses and I'll take the goodbye.

Now wait a minute, wait a minute!

You talked me into it. When do you start?

Right now.

I just wanted to make sure that you knew where that wallet was.

- Give me the police. - Ask for the chief. His name's Castro.

- I meant to call him. - I'll save you the trouble.

Tell him I enjoyed spending the day with him...

...and we must do it again sometime soon.

After my wife libels me with criminal accusations.

You mean you and...

Steve Farraugh, you are without a doubt the nastiest, cruelest, meanest,

foulest, lowest, contemptible...

Hey, you cleaned it up!

Oh, what's the use? You win!

I've got one foot in a bear trap and another on a banana peel.

Atta girl! You call Reno and charge it to me.

Limit your call to 3 minutes, please.

Come in!

Look, Tito, it won't cause you any trouble at all if you handle it right!

Tell Linda Vicki's staying over to help her...

...in spite of all that I did to get rid of her.

Why didn't you tell me he had a chain to him?

Tito, will you do as I tell you?

Take Linda out to lunch, buy her a bottle of wine.

On me! Sure the imported stuff from California. Hold it.

- Good work Irikie, here's your payoff. - Nothing doing. That's American dough.

And I need some ready cash. That's hot.

I ain't got enough on me to finance a bag of peanuts.

What is that, a bale of hay?

Oh, that. Phony dough, strictly for laughs.

Made in Flatbush by a near-sighted amateur.

It's all screwy. The bald eagle's wearing Washington's wig...

...and George is laying an egg.

You can keep it, if you like. Maybe you can keep it for stage money.

- On me it don't look good. - Swell. I'll give you a check.

Cash it at the desk.

Hello, Tito. Look, I'm not worried about Linda.

It's Vicki. I want to get her out of the rut and into the groove.

Uh-uh-uh, not with your pen.

Too bad you tipped that gag about the disappearing ink, boss.

Here. This'll make it stick.

Two thousand cruzeiros.

Look, Tito, she's got to work with Vicki!

Linda's not running the show!

No, Linda's not running anywhere.

Well, stick the two together and see what cooks!

All right, so it's goulash, that's better than nothing.

Thanks, senhor.

If you know anyone else wants to get took, just yell taxi.

Well... See you in the line-up.

See you around, Irikie.

Hello, Tito. Of course I know what I'm doing.

I want Vicki where she belongs, back in the show.

Why? Because I'm in love with her!

Oh, back so soon? I guess you're anxious to start working?

Yes, the sooner I start, the sooner I'm through.

Now, about that finale. I'd like to try something new and unconventional.

You don't say!

On our way here from Buenos Aires our plane stopped in a small town.

Fresh!

And John and I went to the market place.

And we saw the most fascinating native types.

It was wonderful. Have you got a match?

You could see the same thing right here in Rio, you know.

They've got a guy... he carries chickens on his head.

- Yeah! Galinha! Galinha! - It's terrific!

Tell me, do they have those coffee carriers?

You know, the ones who chant while they work?

Do they have? Listen, you happen to...

Hundred pound sacks!

Padoom, padoom...

Wonderful! We'll weave the chant right into the music.

Sure! Oh, and they've got street fighters!

This'll kill ya. They fight with their feet!

- No! - Yeah! They go...

That's amazing! I've never seen that before!

Well, as long as you're so hot on the idea,

why don't you go get a doll on paper,

draw some sketches, it'll help you design the costumes.

That's right.

I forgot my purse.

Oh, yes, of course, here we are!

Why don't we take a tour tonight right after the show?

Just the two of us!

I used to be a very good escort, if you remember.

I'll take John. I'll be lucky if you escort me to the door.

Oh, of course, how silly of me.

Yes, well, I'll see you later? Goodbye.

I've hired a car and driver,

so we'll go to all the important avenidas, the pra�as...

the Copacabana, the Urca, the Atl�ntica...

we'll wind up at the Samba L�l�, everything on me, of course.

You can deduct it from our wedding present.

I hope you don't mind if I take forty winks in the car,

I'm not used to these late hours.

Why, not at all, old man, you can sleep wherever you want.

You're in my hands.

It's like sleeping on the paws of a grizzly...

Oh, hi, you two. Want to come along? We're off to see the town.

- No, thanks, I've been to town. - I wish you would, Miss Lawrence.

Steve and Vicki are going to talk shop. Maybe you and I could amuse each other.

That's the most one-sided offer I've had all day.

- Oh, you're too modest, Miss Lawrence. - No, thanks.

Well, if you change your mind, we'll be at the Samba L�l� later.

Oh, fine, bring Tito, We might as well turn this into a safari.

- A penny for your thoughts. - Don't waste your money.

It's Steve again?

If that dame is leaving him, she sure is taking a long scenic route.

Linda, I wish I could help.

Would you like to buy me some supper?

Even second fiddles help in an orchestra.

Where's that hokey-pokey chiseler who runs this flea circus?

- Chiseler in a flea circus? - You mean Steve Farraugh?

That's him, the two-time creep.

You sound as if you belong to my club. What's he done to you?

Take a gander at that.

A check to nobody, for nothing, signed by no one.

Yeah, well, it was for 2.000 cruzeiros

when the cheap magician gave it to me for heisting a poke.

Oh, I know a pig in a poke but I don't know a heist in a poke.

I left my scarf in the dressing room. Would you be a darling and get it for me?

Sure, I will get it right away.

Now what's the story?

He wants to get some papers back to the giver guy.

So he comes to me, recommended, mind you.

How do you like that guy?

Oh, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a crook.

- This is the 'feira' - Huh?

A marketplace, to you foreigners.

Cinco centavos bolinho.

Cinco centavos bolinho.

Cinco centavos bolinho.

Quer comprar?

Cinco centavos bolinho.

Cinco centavos bolinho.

Galinha!

Galinha!

Sorvete!

We set this native atmosphere to music, Steve, and it spells 'soco'.

You don't see this on a $2 tour.

It gives the authenticity we need.

Authenticity! Now why didn't I think of that?

Because you don't know what it means.

Olha o Tito Guizar!

Oh, there's Tito. He's alone.

- Alone? - What are those, penguins?

Look at that guy Farraugh. Ridin' high on my dough.

Senhores e senhoras.

O querido cantor mexicano Tito Guizar...

...vai cantar agora...

Do you think you can get the wallet back?

Lady, you don't know it but in about 2 minutes he's going through bankruptcy.

And we'll be the receivers.

Muito obrigado. Em primeiro lugar...

...vou cantar em ingl�s para os meus amigos americanos.

I just said I am going to sing in English for my American friends.

And for one American friend in particular.

# You never say yes # # You never say no #

# Got me in the middle # # And you won't let me go #

# You're lively above # # And healthy below #

# Baby, you're a riddle # # And you worry me so #

# Won't you give me a break # # Am I so hard to take? #

# Baby, it may be you're blind #

# If you're not on the beam # # Just walk out of my dream #

# Wake up and make up your mind #

# You never say no # # You never say yes #

# I'll be going crazy # # Cause you're making me guess #

# You never say yes # # You never say no #

# Got me in the middle # # And you won't let me go #

# Won't you give me a break? #

# Am I so hard to take? #

# Baby, it may be you're blind #

# If you're not on the beam #

# Just walk out of my dream #

# Wake up and make your mind #

# You never say no # # You never say yes #

# I'll be going crazy # # Cause you're making me guess #

# You never say yes # # You never say no #

# Got me in the middle # # And you won't #

# Let me go #

- I gotta talk to you in private. - Oh, well you...

...picked a great spot.

It's about that check. I just decided I'd rather have the cash.

- There's nothing wrong with that check. - Sure, it's as good as new.

- Any bank in Rio will honor it. - Honors yet.

Well, my account is in that bank near the hotel. Are you familiar with it?

Familiar with it?

I bet I could even find my way around that bank in the daytime.

Well now, if you don't mind, let's just forget the whole thing.

You're pretty good at drawing blanks.

Wait a minute! You're trying to hold me up for more dough.

Oh, is that bad manners?

Will a couple of extra sawbucks finish this discussion?

Money talks, boss.

Uh-uh, that dough talks too long a sentence.

Well... here you are Irikie, now...

let's just drop out of each other's life, shall we?

- Oops! - I got it, I got it...

Watch the shoving.

That's all right, we'll get it...

Well, so long, Irikie. I'll be avoiding you.

Don't mention it, boss.

Pardon me.

# Yo digo que s� # # Me dissen que no #

# Tengo que buscar una linda mujer #

# Que cepa querer # # Que cepa besar #

Just a minute, Bud!

I beg your pardon.

Did you lose something?

# Yo digo que s� # # Me dissen que no #

# Tengo que buscar una linda mujer #

Por favor, n�o fa�am isso! Por favor, n�o fa�am isso!

Pol�cia! Pol�cia!

Pol�cia! Pol�cia!

Jesus, the cops!

- Here, here, here! - Oh, you can't pin this on me!

Senta, senta!

See here, officer, this gentleman is a friend of mine.

Yeah, we were cub scouts together in Peppermintville!

Just a minute, officer, you can't do that!

- You can't incarcerate him... - Just a minute!

May I join you?

Oh... John!

Washington will hear of this! I have friends in Missouri!

Por favor, por favor, n�o...

Can't you induce Leo to stop pacing?

- They don't feed here till 7:30, - He has a right to be nervous.

I most certainly have. What if this gets back to Pearly Dent?

I can just see Mr. Frydecker's face.

- What... what can I say? - There's only one thing you can say.

Help!

Oh, this is what I get for trusting humanity.

I got half a mind to spill it to Junior.

You've got half a mind but this isn't the time to strain it.

And where's our Mr. Farraugh?

Crawls out through a crack in the woodwork...

...and leaves us flat on our... habeas corpuses.

Well, he's arranging it with the chief to get us bailed, isn't he?

And seeing the American consul.

Well, don't plan on spending the day at the beach.

Steve wouldn't lend a helping hand if he had three of them.

Oh, I forgot to warn you. He doesn't like to have his picture taken.

He's very sensitive about it.

What we do?

You push the button. I'll see that he's looking at the birdie.

What humiliation! I won't stand for it!

Why don't you sit down, darling? There's nothing you can do about it.

Sit down? How can I sit down?

It's easy. Just take the end of this bunk.

A businessman like you should be able to make both ends meet.

A man in my position in this predicament! You know, in a way I blame that...

What's that?

Good.. good grief! I've been shot!

- We've all been shot! - Relax, folks!

Little Stevie's busted this case wide open.

We're all as free as the swallows of Capistrano.

Someone out there just took a photograph of me.

It was more like a family group.

Phot... oh, John that's impossible. They don't allow photographers in here.

- Must be your imagination. - More likely your imagination, innocence.

If ever I saw a flashbulb that spelled idea, that was it.

All right, don't worry, every editor in town's my pal.

If there's a picture, I'll kill him.

- Are you positive, Steve? - You're in my hand.

- Not entirely. Just his throat. - Oh, poor little girl.

Up till 4 a.m. Well, we'll whisk you home, tuck you in beddy-bye...

... where you can get a good rest.

Because you start rehearsal at 7 a.m. sharp!

Well, small-timer, you gonna let him get away with this?

I don't like to start no fights in the jail.

Don't be so sentimental. Come on!

I'm terribly sorry, John. This must have been a horrible experience for you.

- What about me? - You've got work to do, dear.

Just a minute, wise guy. What about that check with the phony ink?

It came back from the bank marked NSF.

- NSF? - Not Sufficient Fluid.

- Do I smell something peculiar? - So it's reaching you.

You should have seen the fade-away check this guy gave me.

You could cash it, maybe,

with a pair of sneakers and a good wind behind you.

Check? What are you talking about? Now don't give me a blank look too!

Maybe this chump here's got a better memory.

- Do you pay or do I sing? - Please don't sing,

- I have a splitting headache. - Oh, do sing.

You have such a pleasing voice.

Oh, this is no place to talk business, son.

If there's anything wrong with your salary check...

you can come around to the hotel in the morning and I'll pay you cash.

I'll be there. Any more phony passes and I speak my piece.

- Come on, babe. I'll ride you home. - So early? The party's just warming up.

The party's over, honey.

It's a little fellow I had in the show, he couldn't sing or speak his piece...

...so I had to discharge him.

You're a verbal Houdini but you can't talk yourself out of this one.

- Get in, John, we're leaving. - Yes, of course. Come on, Steve.

Without Steve!

Now wait a minute, you're jumping to conclusions!

I've jumped my last time for you. Let's get going, driver.

What about the show, the finale? I mean, you gave me your word!

I just thought of a better word.

But you've got those sketches. Rightfully, they belong to me.

Oh, if that's all that's worrying you, you can have the sketches.

Before you hire somebody to steal them.

Let's go driver!

But... you...

Have you a telegram for Mr. John Habour?

Ah, sim, Sr. Habour, immediately.

Good heavens! Vicki, look at this!

- Oh, this is awful, terrible. - You should have kept your mouth closed.

I don't mean the picture, what about the story?

Whatever it is, you're stuck with it.

Do you realize what a thing like this could do to me?

I can see...

Transamerican News Service... You shouldn't have irritated Steve.

He said he could kill the story.

The only thing Steve could kill is man's humanity to man.

Your telegram, senhor. And one for you, senhorita.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, listen to this!

"Horrified and shocked at nightclub scandal, stop"

"May lose us Buenos Aires contract, stop."

"Return there immediately, explain and secure affirmance..."

"...or consider your association with Pearly Dent at an end."

"F.F. Frydecker, the President." Oh, how could this happen to me?

- Get a load of this. - My career.

It's from my lawyer, some very interesting news.

- Everything I've worked for. - Listen, this concerns us both.

I've got to get to Buenos Aires by the next plane.

All right, John. I'll see that we get there.

But every cent I had was in that wallet. How can we possibly get there?

We're already started and Steve Farraugh is our first stop.

- Steve? - Yes.

He's going to give us an all expense trip.

# Cinco centavos i�-i� #

Well, well, what a little paste can do.

# Cinco centavos, i�-i� #

Wait here. I've got to see a guy about a character who hasn't any.

Hiya, babe. Say, out of the can you look out of this world.

Thanks, you look pretty unearthly yourself.

Did you get the 30 pieces of silver from... - He gave me half on account.

On account he couldn't help himself, no doubt.

- You still got that check? - Sure.

Hang on to it and stick around outside.

- What's your promotion, sister? - A little larceny. You'll love it.

All right, folks.

All swell, kids, take five. We'll run it through again later.

I can just see you on your knees trying to put the pieces together.

Keep that picture, darling. That's what I tried to do with our lives.

Aw, Vicki, I knew you wouldn't let me down.

You can skip the boyish enthusiasm. I know all about the wallet routine.

Uh-oh, did you tell the Iowa Casanova? - Not yet.

He'll only have you thrown in the clink and I don't want that.

- Loyalty, a priceless virtue. - Priceless? Not on my adding machine.

Now, listen, Vicki, on the level. I haven't got the wallet.

I lost it last night in that fight. The police are looking for it now.

Oh, hi, John. I'm terribly sorry about all you've been through.

It's all my fault. I needed Vicki.

I needed her badly.

- To fix up the show I mean. - Oh.

Have you seen the morning paper?

Just my luck. The one editor in town I couldn't fix.

Perhaps you'd like to see the result.

John, there's only one decent thing for me to do.

That's get you passage on the next plane to Buenos Aires...

...and I'll dig up enough cash to get you there...

...and tide you over till your wallet shows up.

Enough cash for us both to get there. I'm going with John, you know.

Oh... oh, of course. I suppose it's worth the risk.

- Risk? - Well, uh...

on top of the scandal and all you two traipsing off to Buenos Aires...

nothing shabby implied, you understand, but to narrow-minded people...

what with the divorce shaky already...

- It hadn't occurred to me in that light. - Don't listen to him, John!

Don't you know by now how his warped mind works?

Oh, you...

You can pull out your fangs, you've injected your poison.

Well, if you must humiliate me this way...

I haven't enough cash available for the both of you...

You can't use this.

- What's wrong with that? - What's wrong with it?

Why, nothing's wrong with it. It's uh...

It's payroll money.

Grab it, John! It's the only way you'll get it.

Now count it.

Wait a minute! This is highway robbery.

I mean, there are courts of law, you know.

- How am I going to pay the cast? - Borrow it.

- I did. That's it! - Four thousand five hundred.

- You are sick! Twenty-five hundred. - Money, money, money. You American.

We haven't much time to catch that plane.

Did I detect a note of gaiety?

Fatalism, my dear. After all, if John's wallet shows up,

it'll be a happy ending to this sort of incident.

- You've got wind of that wallet! - Not at all.

Come on, Vicki, we've got to pack.

Have the maid pack for me, dear.

I'm going to sit right here on a hunch.

Pull up a hunch and sit down.

Vicki, are you sure we both ought to go together?

After all, if he looks at it that way, other people... might...

I'll pick you up here.

All right! Music! Go!

Keep in time.

- Perd�o, senhor, where will I find... - Over there.

Left! Left! Left!

Oh, that's fine.

- Perd�o, senhora. Last night I was... - Shh! Later.

May I... may I sit... - Shh!

Galinha!

Galinha!

Now, when I say go, turn and start the other way.

- Go! - Oh, no!

Oh, yes.

And... one, two. One, two.

Now, you hold that for two beats and then you say...

We hope you liked the show.

- Stop it! - All right.

Stop it, Steve. This is ridiculous.

If you're going in for comedy, why don't you hire a comedian?

I don't have to. Apparently I married one.

You're taking my perfectly good idea right into the ash can.

If you don't mind, I'm running things around here.

Better save your breath. You may have to do some running later.

My dear young lady, in case you've forgotten, this is Steve Farraugh.

What ever became of you?

Oh, yeah? Well I was in big time when you were still skipping rope.

I should have saved that rope.

My first mistake was in calling this a Vicki Dean production.

Your second mistake is not listening to my advice.

I don't intend to have my reputation pushed around.

If we ever hit Pippinville, I'll have your name taken off.

Oh, don't be so superior. All I'm trying to do is give you a suggestion.

All right, don't give it to me, give it to them.

All right!

Come on downstage, everybody. I want to talk to you.

Now, let's go back to the place where the ice cream man enters.

Perd�o, senhor. Last night I was minding my own business...

Very commendable. You keep up the good work.

Thank you, You know, I was listening to the music...

Well, well, well, this is a small world. You're a very honest man.

I am! Are you?

This belongs to John Habour.

Yes, that's me. John 'Pearly Dent' Habour.

And what's more, I'm gonna give you a large reward.

- Is there anything else you want? - Yes... identification.

- You don't trust me. - Yes... I trust you.

- But I ask that young lady. - Now, just a minute!

- You interest me. - I do?

Yes, for the show. You're so typically South-American.

But I'm a native of Austria. My name is Ludwig Kriegspiel.

Well look, Joe, I've taken a fancy to you. I like you.

- I like you too. - Oh, that's fine.

- Now give me the wallet. - Oh, I don't like you that much.

Look, Ludwig, what's your profession?

Well, I used to be a time wast... a wine taster.

But now it's sort of a hobby.

How would you like to make 1.000 cruzeiros?

Oh, I couldn't afford that.

What, me?

It just so happens that I need a personal wine taster.

How would you like to taste wine for me?

- Good wine? - Yes.

- Sherry? - Yes.

- Madeira? - Yes.

I don't like madeira.

I'll give it up! Then that's settled, hm?

Ya... but what about my wife?

- Have you got a wife? - Have I got a wife, ha.

Twenty years ago I came here as a tourist to see the sights.

She was one of the sights I saw.

Look, Ludwig, let's get to the point.

Doesn't your wife want you to work?

Oh, she encourages me to be a wine taster.

In fact, she drove me to it.

Now look, keep your wallet in your pocket and your mouth shut.

You're working for me now.

- But what will I do about John Habour? - Shh!

Forget it! Is he thinking about you?

- I don't know. - There you are. There's reciprocity.

- Is that so? - By the way,

I want you to taste my cigar. Have a smoke.

Have you got a match?

There, there.

Vicki! Vicki, I've decided. You shouldn't go with me.

- You've decided? - Yes, we've got to think of my job.

After all, you know, there's a lot in what Steve said.

Starting another scandal might be dangerous, you know.

You mean you want me to stay here while you go to Buenos Aires

- In this place? - Only until the wallet shows up and...

...you have the proper divorce papers.

Yes, I understand, John. I've been very nearsighted.

Well, impulsive, shall we say.

Well, I'll write you every day. And remember, I...

Get a lot of rest, dear.

That's good.

Say, what is this? Aren't you going with John?

No, I'm staying. I'm going to wait for the wallet.

That's much better.

You mean John's going alone to the airport to buy his ticket?

He's old enough to buy his own ticket. Now go away. Don't bother me!

Yes, but I...

Hold the music. Okay, boys and girls, take five.

Oh, Frank, how are the sets coming along?

We're working on them, but did you say all...

Yes, all black. So that nothing can be seen.

- Use black throughout. - What about the other...

The girls will come onstage through doors.

So the doors must be mechanically perfect because they must open and close...

- What are you going to do... - The lighting will be from a spotlight...

...directly on the performers. So I'd like the electricians at all the rehearsals.

Gosh, it's swell to have you back with us, Miss Dean.

Thanks. But it's just for a one-night stand.

I'll be leaving as soon as a certain wallet shows up.

- What? - Oh, you heard me!

You've got to catch him at the airport ticket office.

- Catch Mr. Habour. - That's right.

He'll give you a roll of bills. I'll tell you what to say.

I know what to say. Thank you, Mr. Habour.

Wait a second. You don't even know the reason you're going.

He's going to give me money. Who am I to look for another reason?

Wait a minute, I'll tell you... Here!

- Now give him that wallet. - Yes.

And this note...

...he'll give you a roll of bills and you bring them right back to me.

- Do you understand? - Yes, yes.

- Okay now, get going. - Where shall I go?

Oh, to the airport, I know...

Enric...

in the new setup for the finale could you give me a...

...an effect that would sound like the rhythm of the coffee carriers?

I think so. Let me try.

- Mr. Farraugh, I'm here. - Shh!

- I wish to make my report. - Shh! Can't you see what's going on?

No, I can't see a thing.

- What happened? - Some days if anything goes right,

it's a miracle.

- You didn't catch John Habour? - You won't believe this.

There's only one airport in the city.

And that is the airport I couldn't find.

- You missed him entirely? - To put it another way, yes.

He had already departed for Buenos Aires.

Oh, well he got off anyway. That's something.

- Give me the wallet. - I was just thinking...

Stop thinking on my time! Give!

- This job, is it steady? - Is it steady? Do you see these girls?

They've all been working for me for over 40 years.

- Over forty years? - Hello, Steve. Hiya, Grandpa.

Grandpa? At her age, she's one to talk.

I don't know about this job.

Now, wait a minute, I haven't time to argue, I've got a finale going on.

Now you stay here until I get back. Here, hold this cigar for me.

Oh, pardon me.

What are you, a Peeping Tom?

Oh, to that I can only say I'm flattered.

What are you doing outside my door?

Well, it's a combination of fortunate events.

- You see, it all started with a wallet. - A wallet?

Yes, I'd be very happy to tell you all about it.

- Don't tell me, just show me. - All right, I...

Would you please hold this. Thank you very much.

You see, the night was beautiful.

- The evening was young... - You mean you found that.

- It found me. - Do you know who that wallet belongs to?

To Mr. John Habour. But Mr. Farraugh says...

He says that to everybody. Forget that.

I'm Mrs. John Habour. Hand it over, please.

Have you something on you to prove your identity?

In this costume, are you kidding?

Well, I don't know...

Look, if you're doubtful, I'll describe to you what's in the wallet.

- Can you? - Well, yes!

- All right. - $7.000 from Uncle Sam's mint.

Two airplane tickets to New York.

And a signed divorce service from Reno, Nevada.

And, and... three bicarbonate of soda tablets.

No, five. I know John's wallet.

Three. You don't know my stomach.

Here.

- Oh, thank you, thank you... - Thanks a lot!

Hey...

Oh, all right.

I forgot to take off the cellophane. Silly!

Ha-ha-ha.

Better get onstage, Linda.

- I've been thinking... - I told you not to move!

You're working for me!

I have the feeling my job is done.

I've delivered the wallet.

- Delivered it? - Yes. To Mrs. John Habour.

- That one? - No. That one.

- You chowder head! - Oh, don't bother to fire me. Here.

I bought my own cigar. I'm going into business for myself.

All right, smart girl, where is it?

- In storage. - Cough it up.

What makes you think you can sign for it?

- John's in Buenos Aires. - That makes Vicki next to kin.

Okay, join the crowd, knife me!

I guess I've been kidding myself, Steve.

She's still on your wavelength, isn't she?

That's beside the point. If you send that girl to Pippinville,

you'll have it in your conscience for the rest of your life.

My conscience is rugged. Now you test yours for a while.

Now wait, Linda, wait..

Linda, wait!

# Venha, venha, venha, moreninha # # - Sai, vai pra l�, seu Nicolau #

# You are leaving Brazil # # That's cause for regret #

# Linda, # # seems like only yesterday we met #

# We'll get together yet # # Perhaps we will #

# But until, don't forget the thrill #

# That you found in Brazil #

# Baiana women shouting #

# Coconut cookies #

# Cinco centavos #

# Peddlers will take their barrels #

# Sell abacate ice cream #

# So say i�-i� # # That's the thrill of Brazil #

# A coquette in the Bay of Guanabara #

# Or the sidewalks so gay with mosaic #

# And a sky that was brushed #

# With a miracle touch #

# For you can't get too much of Brazil #

# Vendeiros tocam bongos # # Vendendo chickens #

# Galinha! #

# They're all selling # # Bahia golden orange #

# Laranjas, laranjas # # That's the thrill of Brazil #

# Not forgetting the shops of Rio Branco #

# Or the fabulous fields #

# Ground with coffee #

# And innumerous keys to all this #

# For the ultimate thrill of Brazil #

# That's the thrill of Brazil #

# Of the fabulous fields #

# Ground with coffee #

# And innumerous keys to all this #

# For the ultimate thrill #

# Of Brazil #

- Curtain. - Curtain.

There'll be no curtain bows. Steve's too exhausted.

- Look, Linda, listen! - You were thrilling. A star is born.

There's gonna be a dead star here unless she kicks in with that wallet!

Come on, give it to me!

- Congratulations... - Thank you...

You were best. You'd steal anything, even your own finale.

Well, the doors were stuck... I mean, the stage was...

Well, I didn't want the roof to fall down on our heads.

Look, Vicki, are you still soft on this character?

I... You know I'm marrying John.

When you get the signed divorce papers and the wallet back.

Naturally!

What would you do if uh... they showed up?

Why... I'd catch the next plane for Buenos Aires, of course.

Well, looks as if we both have lost something.

Thanks for the gesture, Linda, but give Vicki the wallet.

The wa...

Okay, Steve.

Get out of this one, if you can.

- Everything there? - Yes.

Well, there's a plane leaving for Buenos Aires in 40 minutes.

- You can just make it. - Oh, but the show isn't right yet.

It needs a lot of polishing before it hits Broadway. I've got a lot to do...

Don't you worry your little head about that.

You pack your dugs and hurry off to John. He loves you, Vicki.

I know, but he'll be busy. I've got a couple of ideas and...

No, no, no, you're out of it. Now stay out of it.

You rate a home and a family...

...and all those little things I could never give you.

And John will make you happy. He's a nice reliable guy.

- But Steve, I... - I know I gave you a lot of headaches...

...but that's all over now.

Goodbye, kid, thanks for everything and think of me now and then, huh?

Miss Dean, long-distance call from S�o Paulo.

- S�o Paulo? - S�o Paulo is the capital...

...of the State of S�o Paulo, Brazil.

I know, but who could be calling...

Hello?

John?

Yes, John.

The police were waiting for me at the airport when I got off the plane here.

The money I used to buy my ticket in Rio was...

...counterfeit.

Oh, you poor darling!

Yes, I think I know exactly how it happened.

I've got your...

...wallet, John.

Oh, yes, right away, uh...

Well, of course we can get it straightened out and...

...we'll see that you get back to Pippinville.

No, wait a minute, Vicki, don't do that, honey...

You never cried before.

Listen, Vicki, I'll get the ambassador to spring John.

I'll even get him to put the fix on toothpaste business as well.

Oh, Steve...

I thought you really meant it when you let us take that money.

- I thought you wanted to get rid of me. - I never was a chump, honey.

I thought you didn't love me anymore.

How could I help but love a girl like you?

A model of all the virtues. Square, aboveboard, sincere,

- Hey, babe. - Uh, not now, Irikie, later.

Oh, excuse me, I just didn't want to take no chance on muffin' this.

I thought you might show me how.

I haven't got time to sample your gin fizz now, Irikie...

- Some other time. - Oh, sure.

Gin fizz? She told me to dip this in lemon juice.

- All right, Irikie, I'll drink it now. - Dip what in lemon juice?

Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.

Dip this in lemon juice, eh?

Hm! I didn't know a lemon could do this.

No offense, dear.

Ah-ha!

- Some cocktail. - You didn't finish your drink, dear.

I'll dry it off for you. They got some nice new blotters at the bank.

Don't you know it's illegal to collect twice for the same job?

Oh, is that so? Gee, I must be an awful heel.

Well, anytime you need a heel, look me up.

- Hey, hey, hey! - I've got to send this money to John...

- He's in jail. - Who told you about that lemon juice gag?

Oh, didn't you know? I got a wire.

My lawyer. He restored the original signature on the divorce paper.

Good show tonight, wasn't it?

You got that wire before John left, didn't you?

I did... I mean, I don't know, I...

Steve, don't look at me that way.

And you could have left with John, couldn't you?

I had to find out two things, I found one didn't matter...

- ...and the other one was... - Come here...

Steve, we may be married but there are some things you can't do...

And some things you can do.

SUBTITLES: LU�S FILIPE BERNARDES