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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:04,590
They've been looking for an excuse to
shut this place down for ages, Danny
2
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:06,730
and I think you're going
to give it to them.
3
00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:09,850
- What needs to be simplified?
- You, Jenny.
4
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:11,830
- What about Jenny?
- Yeah, she's cute.
5
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,770
- I'm just glad you're here to li..
look after me. - Always, Danny, yeah?
6
00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:19,510
- Have you ever seen Alien? - Yeah.
- Every time we sleep together,
7
00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:24,290
afterwards I feel like John
Hurt in the dinner scene.
8
00:00:24,340 --> 00:00:27,530
Are you decent?... Shame.
9
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,450
- What WAS lost?
- Fucking loads.
10
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:33,500
Are you suggesting, sort of, amnesty
for elderly non-EU relatives
11
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:36,130
who can help with childcare
arrangements and so forth
12
00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:38,210
and get people from first
and second generation
13
00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:40,090
- immigrant families off benefits?
- Yes.
14
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,570
This is the sort of thing you
can brief the minister on.
15
00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:44,530
- No, not just now. Not at all.
- Don't see why not?
16
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:48,580
- Yeah, yeah sure.
- Let's do it. - Absolutely.
17
00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:59,050
- New suit?
- Er, no.
18
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,930
Oh, looks different somehow.
19
00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:04,210
Well, I had it dry-cleaned.
20
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,890
And I found my iron in a small drawer.
21
00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:10,940
- Congratulations!
- Thank you, bro.
22
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:14,250
Oh, er, and as well, could you pull
up the last ten years' numbers
23
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,010
on non-EU migration for me, please?
24
00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:19,770
OK. Yeah, whatever you want, boss.
25
00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:23,050
Yeah... I AM the boss, aren't I?
26
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:27,100
You all right?
27
00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:49,050
- Blepharospasm.
- Oh, God, what does that mean?
28
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,810
That you have a... twitchy eye.
29
00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:56,650
- What causes it? - Well, it's usually
the result of a number of factors.
30
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,490
- Right, so is everything.
- Yeah.
31
00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:00,650
So, what specifically causes it?
32
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:04,700
Do you consume caffeine to excess?
33
00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:08,770
- Alcohol?
- Well, yeah, of course.
34
00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:10,890
- Tobacco?
- Sometimes.
35
00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:13,410
- Do you sleep well?
- Barely ever.
36
00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:15,090
Do you suffer from stress?
37
00:02:15,140 --> 00:02:17,610
Everyone does, don't they? Constantly.
38
00:02:17,660 --> 00:02:19,250
There you are then.
39
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:23,050
It's generally a result
of all of those elements.
40
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,970
And if you can mitigate that...
41
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,610
So hang on, to sort out my eye,
42
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:31,660
I have to solve the whole
of the rest of my life?
43
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,690
Morning.
44
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,890
It's a bit small and stinky, isn't it?
45
00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:41,330
No, it's, um, cute
46
00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:43,210
vibrant, edgy.
47
00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:45,770
Are we talking about my
flat or my cock and balls?
48
00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:49,570
Both.
49
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,730
We haven't spoken about
that yet, have we?
50
00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:55,130
- What? - The ring.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
51
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:57,090
Just for show.
52
00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:59,170
You're not married? I thought...
53
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:03,220
No, I am. But we don't live together
54
00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:06,410
or love each other at all.
55
00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:07,970
Why do you wear it?
56
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:11,210
Keep men away, partly.
57
00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:14,090
But I'm a man... aren't I?
58
00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:18,140
Then I have made a terrible,
terrible mistake.
59
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:28,530
Matthew?
60
00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:31,850
I'm not angry, or anything, that
you, er, cancelled dinner,
61
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:34,530
by, er, by just ignoring me.
62
00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:38,580
I mean, it's only a two, three-hour
journey from Northampton
63
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:44,180
for your... your good old Mamma.
64
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:49,770
So, yes, as established,
er, I'm not angry.
65
00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:53,820
I just thought we could at least
share some food together.
66
00:03:56,580 --> 00:04:00,410
What do you think... Matthew?
67
00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:04,460
LOUD BANGING AND THUMPING
68
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:25,410
Morning.
69
00:04:25,460 --> 00:04:29,460
Sorry. I mean, um... morning.
70
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:36,570
MARTINE YAWNS
71
00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:38,450
- Big night?
- Hmm.
72
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:41,210
PHONE RINGS
73
00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:45,260
Oh. His Master's Voice. The Minister.
74
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:51,530
What is it with you and married women?
75
00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:53,690
Oh, sorry. Inappropriate.
76
00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:57,740
We're just work colleagues
now, aren't we? So...
77
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:02,900
After the dummy/ Danny run,
can I come and find you?
78
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,930
Talk through briefing
the Minister tomorrow?
79
00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:09,530
Need some fresh eyes on it all.
80
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:13,580
Yeah.
81
00:05:14,260 --> 00:05:17,170
- There.
- Ah, thank you.
82
00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:19,970
All right... stud?
83
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,090
- What do you mean?
- Nothing.
84
00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:26,140
Right. Really?
85
00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:28,450
Oh, is that for me?
86
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,570
Yeah, my mum always said that
the best recipe for happiness
87
00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:33,690
or dealing with being fired
88
00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:37,740
and then having to work out your
notice is baking, so, yeah.
89
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:42,770
- OK. Self-medi-baking.
- Mm-hm.
90
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:46,010
- Does Nathanial not get some?
- I don't know.
91
00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:49,610
Does Nathanial want a
chocolate banana cream cake
92
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:53,660
from Jenny's big... box?
93
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,010
SHE MOUTHS
94
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:09,060
HE MOUTHS
95
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:18,730
SHE MOUTHS
96
00:06:18,780 --> 00:06:20,490
So, if you just give me the...
97
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,770
- Yeah, it's probably in that one.
- Excellent.
98
00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:26,820
- Good work.
- Thanks.
99
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:35,900
- Morning.
- Yeah. Is it? Er, yeah. Good.
100
00:06:36,260 --> 00:06:38,450
- What?
- Are you ready, Danny?
101
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,570
Er, I think so, yeah.
102
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:43,850
Prostitutes aren't going
to jump out of the cupboards
103
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:47,900
- and flash us their big hairy
arseholes, are they? - No.
104
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,890
Or heroin-laden midgets?
105
00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:52,690
I think they prefer the term
little people, Katherine.
106
00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:56,740
- Or dwarves.
- Yeah, I know. I was being funny-ish.
107
00:06:57,420 --> 00:07:00,050
Still. It's hateful.
108
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,570
OK. Sorry.
109
00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:05,650
- I was, er, just giving you
a compliment, that's all. - Why?
110
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:08,690
Well, this week you've been...
111
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:11,530
.. diligent... focused.
112
00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:15,170
I mean, not high on
ketamine, gin or poppers.
113
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,850
Yeah, you know, well, I've been trying
114
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:20,970
- to sort my life out a bit, you know?
- Good. You need to.
115
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,890
I haven't had a drink
for, like, six days now.
116
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:26,410
Right. Well, well done.
117
00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:30,460
Katherine, I mean, that's, that's
er... that's, that's good, isn't it?
118
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:32,770
Nearly a week?
119
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,730
Oh, I'm not a life coach, Danny.
120
00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:38,330
No, yeah, yeah, but you're all, um...
121
00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:40,330
.. you're all wise
and stuff, aren't you?
122
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:41,850
Like Gandalf.
123
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:44,410
I've got a tattoo that suggests
I'm not all that wizardy.
124
00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:47,490
- Can I see it?
- No.
125
00:07:47,540 --> 00:07:50,890
You should probably see a professional
-- counsellor or someone.
126
00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:52,810
Yeah, but why...?
127
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:56,010
Why can't you just to tell
me what to do though?
128
00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:59,490
You know, like everything else.
129
00:07:59,540 --> 00:08:02,090
From the little I know,
130
00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:06,140
I mean, it's as much about your
environment as you, I think.
131
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:12,500
So, work out who drags
you down. Root them out.
132
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:18,020
- Until you're better, at least.
- Is that it?
133
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:23,370
No, I think that's probably
just the start, Danny.
134
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,290
Er, are you sure you're OK?
135
00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:28,810
- I mean, tomorrow is pretty massive, yeah?
- Yeah.
136
00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:32,860
- Cool. Well, I trust you.
- Really? - Hmm.
137
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,530
Yeah. Oh, fuck.
138
00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:39,930
What? What's wrong?
139
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:41,450
Ready for your dress?
140
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:45,500
Rehearsal. Run-through
of the presentation.
141
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:54,620
Oh, all right? It's... good
to have you back... mate.
142
00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:58,970
- Is it?
- Yeah. Feeling better?
143
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:01,410
Sort of. Didn't know
you could have, like,
144
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:04,290
viral gastroenteritis
for a whole week before.
145
00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:06,450
It's like being in
labour from both ends.
146
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:09,850
- But for 168 hours.
- Shit.
147
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:11,490
Yeah. A lot!
148
00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:15,540
Well, it's been quiet without you.
149
00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:17,770
In a bad way or what?
150
00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:21,820
Really bad. It's bad, bad,
bad, bad, bad, baddest-est.
151
00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:26,340
I...
152
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:30,620
Morning, team. Do you want
me to sit in or, er...
153
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:34,250
Um, we're OK for the minute, thank you.
154
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:36,530
I am the most senior person here, so...
155
00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:40,580
No, I am. And we're fine.
156
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:51,500
OK, so um...
157
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:56,020
Thank you for being here
today, Minister...
158
00:09:56,300 --> 00:10:00,300
.. in your office in London town.
159
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:04,490
Er, look, we don't need
a full role-play --
160
00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:06,770
you're not Danny Day-Lewis.
161
00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:10,820
Just start with the first
slide and go from there, OK?
162
00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:15,380
Is that... right?
163
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:18,410
I'm sorry, is there a problem?
164
00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:22,460
No. Er, carry on, please.
165
00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:26,690
In the history of past
before now times...
166
00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:30,740
- No, we cut that line.
- Did we? - Yes.
167
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,050
I'm sorry...
168
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:39,850
From now on in, let's pretend
we ARE here for real.
169
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,730
She is the Minister.
You are Danny Day-Lewis.
170
00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:46,780
And there will be blood.
171
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:54,020
- You all right, Minister?
- Uh-huh.
172
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,250
Well... survived.
173
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:06,300
- I wasn't too nervous?
- No, it was fine.
174
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:11,650
Yeah, it was... fine. Yeah.
175
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:15,700
Cool. Thank you, guys.
176
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,450
How did it go, your little
fucking practice?
177
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:47,410
It was OK, I think, yeah.
178
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:51,460
Did you get a little
tick from the teach?
179
00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:59,940
Want to, like, pop out for,
like, a drink to celebrate?
180
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:05,130
Why not?
181
00:12:05,180 --> 00:12:09,090
- It's quarter to 11.
- So?
182
00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:11,330
Yeah, but...
183
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,770
Angela...
184
00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:15,690
Angela...
185
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:17,490
Angela, stop it!
186
00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:20,090
Why, have you got some hot slut
you want to go and finger-bang?
187
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,930
- No, I've got to rewrite my intro.
- SHE LAUGHS
188
00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:25,370
Angela!
189
00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:27,250
I've got important things to do.
190
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,930
GRUNTING
191
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:33,980
I order you to stop.
192
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:38,530
- You order me?
- Yeah.
193
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:42,580
Are you fucking serious?
194
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:53,740
Right then.
195
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:59,180
DOOR SLAMS
196
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,730
- Hi.
- Yeah.
197
00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:12,780
Did you actually think that any
of that... was all... fine?
198
00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,490
Uh-huh.
199
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:18,250
Really?
200
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,410
Yeah.
201
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:24,460
I mean, Danny is trying hard, but
he's just not up to it, is he?
202
00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:31,130
I mean, he's barely speaking English,
let alone coherent policy.
203
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:34,130
He's going to fucking humiliate himself.
204
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:36,050
And us.
205
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:39,770
So, I could step in, if I have to or...
206
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,930
- Danny is your manager, Katherine.
- I know, but...
207
00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:46,330
I'm not here to help you
sugar-coat collective failure.
208
00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,050
I am here, on behalf of the Minister,
209
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:51,450
for us to assess how
this place has been run.
210
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:55,010
So, what's fairer than letting Danny
give an honest account of himself?
211
00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,610
I mean, Katherine,
as much as we don't...
212
00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:00,730
In any way like each other
or have anything in common
213
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:04,780
except vaginas and failed
experiments with fringes?
214
00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:08,970
- Do you take this job at all seriously?
- Yes, of course.
215
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:13,020
But you don't take yourself
very seriously, do you?
216
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:15,170
- Did you just wink at me?
- No!
217
00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:19,220
I, I've just got something in it. Go on.
218
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:23,250
- Because you're not what you
could be, are you? - I'm sorry?
219
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,410
I mean, you're intelligent, clearly,
220
00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:29,460
but as it stands, you're
kicked out to the regions --
221
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:33,330
single, lost, crumpled.
222
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:37,050
Failure is circling you like a...
223
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:40,530
.. like a Hula Hoop.
224
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:41,810
Yeah?
225
00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:44,690
Well, you're a fucking...
226
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:48,740
dick!
227
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:50,330
Mm-hm.
228
00:15:25,274 --> 00:15:27,324
SHE GASPS
229
00:15:33,674 --> 00:15:36,064
Oh!
230
00:15:36,114 --> 00:15:40,114
SHE GROANS LOUDLY
231
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:45,874
SNORING
232
00:15:48,674 --> 00:15:52,264
SNORING
233
00:15:52,314 --> 00:15:54,184
Jeffries!
234
00:15:54,234 --> 00:15:57,064
[JEFFRIES GASPS] Morning.
235
00:15:57,114 --> 00:16:01,114
- Are you all right?
- Er, fine.
236
00:16:01,914 --> 00:16:04,184
Just a long commute. You?
237
00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:06,784
Yeah. Just...
238
00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:09,704
normal... stuff.
239
00:16:09,754 --> 00:16:13,754
- Marvellous. Er... coffee?
- Fuck, yes!
240
00:16:30,874 --> 00:16:33,584
- Do you want some lardy cake?
- What you saying?
241
00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:36,264
Nothing, it was just a cake offer query.
242
00:16:36,314 --> 00:16:40,314
- Oh, right. Ta.
- OK.
243
00:16:50,154 --> 00:16:54,154
- What? - I was just wondering,
have you been on many, like, dates
244
00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:58,424
with, you know, men?
245
00:16:58,474 --> 00:17:02,474
- Define date.
- Nice dinner, a few drinks, then maybe...
246
00:17:04,554 --> 00:17:07,384
Not really, mate. Why would you pay
to sit and have dinner in a room?
247
00:17:07,434 --> 00:17:10,824
OK. Um, because I was just wondering
248
00:17:10,874 --> 00:17:14,874
whether it's sort of normal
for a man to not... um...
249
00:17:17,314 --> 00:17:19,744
Listen, Jenny, right.
250
00:17:19,794 --> 00:17:22,344
The one thing that
you've got to remember
251
00:17:22,394 --> 00:17:26,184
is all men are stupid,
lying fucking shithouses,
252
00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:30,234
that just need to be called on
all this fucking shit, yeah?
253
00:17:31,274 --> 00:17:32,984
Right.
254
00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:37,034
Yes. Thank you for the tippity-tip.
255
00:17:39,194 --> 00:17:43,194
Right, yeah...
256
00:17:44,834 --> 00:17:48,824
- Is that blepharospasm?
- You know about it?
257
00:17:48,874 --> 00:17:52,874
I had it in my 20s, 30s, most of my 40s.
258
00:17:53,794 --> 00:17:57,794
Can be a bit of an effing B -- bitch.
259
00:17:58,114 --> 00:18:02,114
Like Martine. So weird she
was freezing you out earlier.
260
00:18:02,194 --> 00:18:05,504
I don't know. Er, human mind
261
00:18:05,554 --> 00:18:08,824
in all its terrible wonder.
262
00:18:08,874 --> 00:18:11,224
Yeah, we're awful, aren't we?
263
00:18:11,274 --> 00:18:13,424
I don't think so, no.
264
00:18:13,474 --> 00:18:17,344
I just think, um, we're
all rather scared
265
00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:20,984
of our limitations and frailties,
266
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:25,034
so we lash out in the face of a cold...
dark... unknowable universe...
267
00:18:29,794 --> 00:18:33,794
.. full of pain and infinite,
unfettered... loss.
268
00:18:38,394 --> 00:18:40,464
You mean Northampton, right?
269
00:18:40,514 --> 00:18:44,104
Oh.
270
00:18:44,154 --> 00:18:45,824
Have you tried steam?
271
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:49,384
Um, warm vapours relieve the muscles.
272
00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:53,434
Always worked for me.
273
00:19:04,314 --> 00:19:07,224
- I didn't mean it.
- What?
274
00:19:07,274 --> 00:19:11,274
Any of anything I've ever done
or said in my life to upset you.
275
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,024
Yeah. So, what?
276
00:19:15,074 --> 00:19:17,584
So, I'm going to take you for that drink
277
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,304
and buy you whatever you want
278
00:19:19,354 --> 00:19:22,104
and never fucking disrespect
you again forever and ever
279
00:19:22,154 --> 00:19:24,824
and also some ever after
that as well, too.
280
00:19:24,874 --> 00:19:28,874
About fucking time.
281
00:19:50,914 --> 00:19:54,914
ECSTATIC MOAN
282
00:19:55,234 --> 00:19:57,984
Argh! Motherfucker! Eye!
283
00:19:58,034 --> 00:19:59,424
Ow!
284
00:19:59,474 --> 00:20:03,304
SHE CRIES OUT IN PAIN
285
00:20:03,354 --> 00:20:04,944
Oh!
286
00:20:04,994 --> 00:20:08,424
CRASHING AND BANGING
287
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:12,474
Ah...
288
00:20:23,434 --> 00:20:24,784
Don't ask.
289
00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:27,544
Are you going to come in then or...?
290
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:30,104
Only if we just talk
about work for a minute.
291
00:20:30,154 --> 00:20:34,154
Not eyes or us or anything.
292
00:20:35,114 --> 00:20:36,784
- Deal.
- Thank you.
293
00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:39,904
I've been going through
Danny's presentation.
294
00:20:39,954 --> 00:20:41,624
I mean, however you spin it,
295
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,384
it's still, basically, going
to increase immigration
296
00:20:44,434 --> 00:20:46,384
from non-EU countries.
297
00:20:46,434 --> 00:20:49,984
And that's not something
this lot would want, is it?
298
00:20:50,034 --> 00:20:53,264
Maybe they're trying to
change their image a bit,
299
00:20:53,314 --> 00:20:55,624
maybe detoxify it all.
300
00:20:55,674 --> 00:20:58,584
Maybe. I dunno.
301
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:02,634
I just can't see how this isn't
going to go really fucking badly.
302
00:21:04,034 --> 00:21:08,034
Well, we'll see tomorrow,
I suppose, won't we?
303
00:21:08,194 --> 00:21:12,194
Yeah.
304
00:21:13,354 --> 00:21:16,224
"We"?
305
00:21:16,274 --> 00:21:20,274
Oh, Martine came in a bit ago and
said she wanted another body there
306
00:21:21,434 --> 00:21:24,904
for extended Q&A with the Minister
after the presentation.
307
00:21:24,954 --> 00:21:26,744
Said I'd be happy to.
308
00:21:26,794 --> 00:21:28,584
Why would she do that?
309
00:21:28,634 --> 00:21:32,634
Maybe she thinks I'm... good.
310
00:21:33,954 --> 00:21:35,504
Fine.
311
00:21:35,554 --> 00:21:39,554
Right, well, thanks for that all...
312
00:21:40,554 --> 00:21:43,904
- .. mate.
- That's all right...
313
00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:47,954
.. pal.
314
00:21:48,194 --> 00:21:52,194
Need a hand?
315
00:21:52,714 --> 00:21:55,464
No.
316
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:58,064
What IS up with your eye?
317
00:21:58,114 --> 00:22:02,114
The universe.
318
00:22:08,674 --> 00:22:10,384
- Nathaniel.
- Jenny.
319
00:22:10,434 --> 00:22:14,144
I, um, I just wanted to say that...
320
00:22:14,194 --> 00:22:18,024
.. just because we went
for a nice Italian dinner
321
00:22:18,074 --> 00:22:22,074
and I had a few too many wines
and things did get a bit blurry,
322
00:22:23,194 --> 00:22:25,984
but we did definitely
do that thing on the bus
323
00:22:26,034 --> 00:22:30,034
where I helped you have a warm time,
324
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,344
when no-one else was on the
top deck with us, um...
325
00:22:33,394 --> 00:22:37,394
Well, listen, it doesn't mean that
I'm just some big slag-bunny
326
00:22:37,674 --> 00:22:40,944
that you can just stop
talking to now, does it?
327
00:22:40,994 --> 00:22:43,424
You... shithouse!
328
00:22:43,474 --> 00:22:47,474
- I thought you weren't talking to ME.
- No, I'm talking to YOU, aren't I?
329
00:22:47,674 --> 00:22:49,784
- Yeah, and I'm talking to YOU.
- Are you?
330
00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:52,504
I just didn't want to, like, bug you.
331
00:22:52,554 --> 00:22:56,554
You know, I was playing it, like, cool.
332
00:22:56,714 --> 00:23:00,064
Cool? Yeah, yeah... No, so was I.
333
00:23:00,114 --> 00:23:01,704
Oh, thank God for that!
334
00:23:01,754 --> 00:23:05,304
Because it was one of the
nicest one-way bus journeys.
335
00:23:05,354 --> 00:23:07,584
Like, ever.
336
00:23:07,634 --> 00:23:11,634
OK. Right. Cool, good.
337
00:23:12,154 --> 00:23:15,464
- Do you want a whole apricot sponge?
- Yeah.
338
00:23:15,514 --> 00:23:19,514
MUSIC: All Right Now by Free
339
00:23:22,914 --> 00:23:26,914
What's wrong? You nervous about
your presentation thingy tomorrow?
340
00:23:27,634 --> 00:23:29,984
Yeah. I am, yeah.
341
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:33,184
You know what nerves
are though, don't you?
342
00:23:33,234 --> 00:23:34,584
Emotions?
343
00:23:34,634 --> 00:23:38,634
No, nature's way of telling
you you shouldn't do summat.
344
00:23:39,754 --> 00:23:43,344
- How?
- Well, it's like evolution and that.
345
00:23:43,394 --> 00:23:45,544
You get nervous about climbing a cliff
346
00:23:45,594 --> 00:23:47,544
cos you shouldn't climb a fucking cliff.
347
00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:49,944
That's why we don't live on cliffs now.
348
00:23:49,994 --> 00:23:53,064
- Is it?
- Uh-huh.
349
00:23:53,114 --> 00:23:56,184
And I won't live on a fucking
cliff, Danny, for anyone.
350
00:23:56,234 --> 00:24:00,234
Do you get me?
351
00:24:00,834 --> 00:24:04,584
I thought we were just
going to have... one.
352
00:24:04,634 --> 00:24:08,374
Yeah, one tray, one round -- so... one.
353
00:24:22,452 --> 00:24:24,754
ANNOUNCEMENT: 'The next train to London
354
00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:27,415
'will be arriving in 20 minutes.'
355
00:24:35,298 --> 00:24:37,240
PHONE RINGS
356
00:24:37,458 --> 00:24:40,568
- Hello?
- Are you lost?
357
00:24:40,618 --> 00:24:43,528
No. I'm, I'm, I'm just
in a little pickle.
358
00:24:43,578 --> 00:24:45,408
What does that mean, Danny?
359
00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:47,368
Look, are you going to be here on time?
360
00:24:47,418 --> 00:24:49,128
PHONE GOES DEAD
361
00:24:49,178 --> 00:24:53,178
Look, please don't leave
me alone with them. Fuck.
362
00:24:53,698 --> 00:24:56,808
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
363
00:24:56,858 --> 00:25:00,858
Oh...
364
00:25:01,418 --> 00:25:05,418
Ah.
365
00:25:08,458 --> 00:25:11,888
So, what happened? Someone hit you?
366
00:25:11,938 --> 00:25:14,568
- You know...
- Katherine? - Hmm?
367
00:25:14,618 --> 00:25:18,618
Do you want me to go and get you
a new, cold one from the shop?
368
00:25:20,418 --> 00:25:23,048
Yeah. Thank you, yeah.
369
00:25:23,098 --> 00:25:27,098
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
370
00:25:31,058 --> 00:25:33,088
- Hey, Jeffries.
- Hiya.
371
00:25:33,138 --> 00:25:37,138
Oh... It's Jeffries, yes.
Where's, er, Danyak?
372
00:25:40,218 --> 00:25:44,218
Oh, er...
373
00:25:45,578 --> 00:25:49,288
Do you, do you ever get
a weird, like, feeling
374
00:25:49,338 --> 00:25:52,888
in, in, in your stomach and
in your head sometimes,
375
00:25:52,938 --> 00:25:55,248
- when you've done something bad?
- No.
376
00:25:55,298 --> 00:25:59,298
Ang, you do. There's, there's,
like, a, a word for it.
377
00:25:59,498 --> 00:26:02,048
It begins with a, a letter.
378
00:26:02,098 --> 00:26:06,098
They all do, mate. Have
you got any ket left?
379
00:26:13,818 --> 00:26:17,768
HE INHALES DEEPLY
380
00:26:17,818 --> 00:26:21,818
G. G. It, it begin, it begins
with, with the G one.
381
00:26:24,898 --> 00:26:27,608
Guilt.
382
00:26:27,658 --> 00:26:30,968
So?
383
00:26:31,018 --> 00:26:32,288
What?
384
00:26:32,338 --> 00:26:33,968
What?
385
00:26:34,018 --> 00:26:35,648
What?
386
00:26:35,698 --> 00:26:36,848
Ketamine.
387
00:26:36,898 --> 00:26:39,448
Begins with, with a K.
388
00:26:39,498 --> 00:26:42,848
HE INHALES DEEPLY
389
00:26:42,898 --> 00:26:46,898
- SHE LAUGHS
- Cor.
390
00:26:47,538 --> 00:26:51,538
DANCE MUSIC THROBS
391
00:27:00,378 --> 00:27:04,378
OK, so, um... without our dearest Daniel
392
00:27:05,978 --> 00:27:09,978
one of you will have to step into
the breach of speech talking...
393
00:27:11,258 --> 00:27:13,328
.. and present to the Minister.
394
00:27:13,378 --> 00:27:15,368
Yeah, I've never really
done that kind of thing,
395
00:27:15,418 --> 00:27:17,808
so I don't think I should.
396
00:27:17,858 --> 00:27:21,048
Katherine? Et tu?
397
00:27:21,098 --> 00:27:23,008
Well, I mean I could, but it's not...
398
00:27:23,058 --> 00:27:25,208
I thought you wanted to
stand in for him anyway.
399
00:27:25,258 --> 00:27:29,168
- Look, I... Yeah, I said that when...
- Is that agreed then, Katherine?
400
00:27:29,218 --> 00:27:30,608
Katherine?
401
00:27:30,658 --> 00:27:32,888
Yeah, I think Katherine should do it.
402
00:27:32,938 --> 00:27:36,938
Look, will everyone just stop
saying my name for a minute, OK?
403
00:27:38,618 --> 00:27:41,288
No, I just think the Minister's
not actually going to like
404
00:27:41,338 --> 00:27:45,338
what we're going to say, however
or whoever says it, so...
405
00:27:46,578 --> 00:27:49,128
The Minister is very receptive
to lots of ideas,
406
00:27:49,178 --> 00:27:50,608
however they're expressed.
407
00:27:50,658 --> 00:27:52,368
Like non-EU migration.
408
00:27:52,418 --> 00:27:55,208
The party is progressing.
409
00:27:55,258 --> 00:27:59,258
Yeah, they've just about got to 1950.
410
00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:04,138
Unless, this isn't... you know,
411
00:28:04,858 --> 00:28:08,858
about honestly hearing how
we're doing. This is about...
412
00:28:09,738 --> 00:28:13,738
.. getting the Minister to shut us down.
413
00:28:14,618 --> 00:28:16,728
Oh, don't be so ridiculous!
414
00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:20,778
You know, out of spite
or something like that?
415
00:28:20,938 --> 00:28:23,568
Katherine, we have talked about this.
416
00:28:23,618 --> 00:28:25,528
I'm not bothered either way.
417
00:28:25,578 --> 00:28:28,248
However paranoid you want to be,
418
00:28:28,298 --> 00:28:31,968
you are getting a fair shot
to impress the Minister here,
419
00:28:32,018 --> 00:28:36,018
so it's up to you whether
you want to take it or not.
420
00:28:36,098 --> 00:28:40,098
OK?
421
00:28:40,418 --> 00:28:44,418
SHE MOUTHS
422
00:28:46,658 --> 00:28:50,658
TRAIN BRAKES SQUEAL
423
00:28:55,938 --> 00:28:59,408
Oh, fudge.
424
00:28:59,458 --> 00:29:03,458
- Oh, shit. Oh, fuck this now!
- What's wrong?
425
00:29:04,378 --> 00:29:07,848
- Nose bleed -- a lot.
- Oh, God!
426
00:29:07,898 --> 00:29:11,248
Oh, yes, it's a common
symptom of stress...
427
00:29:11,298 --> 00:29:13,648
- There's a toilet down there.
- Sorry. - I'll just...
428
00:29:13,698 --> 00:29:17,698
- Sorry.
- I'll get out of your way.
429
00:29:18,458 --> 00:29:20,328
- Oh...
- You all right?
430
00:29:20,378 --> 00:29:23,088
- All right, go on.
- Oh...
431
00:29:23,138 --> 00:29:25,648
- Oh!
- You stay there.
432
00:29:25,698 --> 00:29:29,698
There you go, there
you go, there you go.
433
00:29:34,218 --> 00:29:35,768
Do you...
434
00:29:35,818 --> 00:29:38,968
ever get the feeling that...
435
00:29:39,018 --> 00:29:43,018
.. you're just completely,
utterly fucked?
436
00:29:45,218 --> 00:29:49,218
Yeah, yeah, all the time.
437
00:29:50,098 --> 00:29:54,098
Er, you missed some... around your...
438
00:29:54,458 --> 00:29:58,408
Hang on one sec. Around
your whole... Yeah.
439
00:29:58,458 --> 00:30:02,458
Oh, God, I look like an angry tampon.
440
00:30:04,058 --> 00:30:06,088
Sort of suits you.
441
00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:10,138
THEY LAUGH
442
00:30:25,658 --> 00:30:29,658
Poor girl.
443
00:30:29,858 --> 00:30:32,648
What are you setting her up for?
444
00:30:32,698 --> 00:30:34,288
And the rest of us?
445
00:30:34,338 --> 00:30:38,338
It's just a routine policy
presentation, that's all.
446
00:30:39,658 --> 00:30:43,658
Or is it a chance to get back at me?
447
00:30:44,338 --> 00:30:47,848
And your brother?
448
00:30:47,898 --> 00:30:51,898
I think we're beyond
that now, aren't we?
449
00:30:58,378 --> 00:31:02,378
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
450
00:31:03,978 --> 00:31:06,488
- Where are you going?
- To the sky.
451
00:31:06,538 --> 00:31:09,328
- I'm not sure...
- What?
452
00:31:09,378 --> 00:31:13,378
- Maybe you should just have
a little sit-down? - Why?
453
00:31:13,618 --> 00:31:16,888
Because you're completely fucking
munted, that's why, Danny.
454
00:31:16,938 --> 00:31:19,808
I'm escaping the cliffs, like you said.
455
00:31:19,858 --> 00:31:23,858
- Yeah, I know, but...
- So I need to keep going, don't I?
456
00:31:24,378 --> 00:31:26,328
HE SHOUTS OUT AND GLASS SMASHES
457
00:31:26,378 --> 00:31:30,008
This is all getting a little
bit fucking silly now, mate!
458
00:31:30,058 --> 00:31:31,488
So fucking what?
459
00:31:31,538 --> 00:31:35,538
- You fuck!
- Oh!
460
00:31:52,098 --> 00:31:56,098
Hmm.
461
00:31:56,938 --> 00:32:00,938
HE LAUGHS
462
00:32:01,898 --> 00:32:05,898
Oh, my God, I've missed you.
463
00:32:06,138 --> 00:32:07,888
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
464
00:32:07,938 --> 00:32:10,888
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
465
00:32:10,938 --> 00:32:14,648
Wait. Are you, are you on...?
466
00:32:14,698 --> 00:32:18,128
Er, no. A coil.
467
00:32:18,178 --> 00:32:22,178
- I didn't know they still did...
- Shall we just? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
468
00:32:25,418 --> 00:32:29,418
- He's, er, very supportive of his colleagues.
- Yeah.
469
00:32:31,898 --> 00:32:35,168
Admirable really.
470
00:32:35,218 --> 00:32:39,218
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
471
00:32:43,778 --> 00:32:47,778
BOTTLES CLANK
472
00:32:53,618 --> 00:32:56,128
- ANGELA BANGS ON THE DOOR
- Oh...
473
00:32:56,178 --> 00:32:58,688
Let's just chill out a bit, yeah?
474
00:32:58,738 --> 00:33:02,738
I can't. I've got some more.
475
00:33:04,178 --> 00:33:07,208
- BOTTLES CLINK
- Danny?
476
00:33:07,258 --> 00:33:09,528
- Are you all right, mate?
- Fine, fine.
477
00:33:09,578 --> 00:33:11,568
SHE BANGS ON THE DOOR
478
00:33:11,618 --> 00:33:15,618
Danny, are you all right, mate?
479
00:33:18,938 --> 00:33:21,048
- Oh!
- Oh!
480
00:33:21,098 --> 00:33:25,098
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Oh!
481
00:33:26,538 --> 00:33:28,408
Fuck. Oh...
482
00:33:28,458 --> 00:33:32,458
THEY PANT
483
00:33:34,578 --> 00:33:38,578
HE LAUGHS
484
00:33:39,458 --> 00:33:43,458
SHE RATTLES THE DOOR HANDLE
485
00:33:53,738 --> 00:33:57,738
You stupid fucking twat.
486
00:34:11,258 --> 00:34:15,258
- Oh, are you feeling better?
- Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
487
00:34:21,018 --> 00:34:23,848
- You were a while.
- That was his fault.
488
00:34:23,898 --> 00:34:25,368
- What?
- Why?
489
00:34:25,418 --> 00:34:28,408
Well, he had a...
490
00:34:28,458 --> 00:34:31,368
.. a poo...
491
00:34:31,418 --> 00:34:35,418
.. after.
492
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:43,578
- Is that why you're sweating?
- Mmm-hmm.
493
00:34:51,858 --> 00:34:54,488
TANNOY: 'Sorry about all
the technical difficulties,
494
00:34:54,538 --> 00:34:55,968
'ladies and gentlemen.
495
00:34:56,018 --> 00:35:00,018
'We might have to call it a day at
the next stop, I'm afraid. Sorry.'
496
00:35:29,738 --> 00:35:33,738
SHE SIGHS
497
00:35:39,738 --> 00:35:41,808
Did anyone try Danny again?
498
00:35:41,858 --> 00:35:44,048
- H-hello?
- In a bar maybe?
499
00:35:44,098 --> 00:35:47,568
- He's a Muslim. - He's a little
bit lapsed in areas of his faith.
500
00:35:47,618 --> 00:35:50,448
- I think I might have broken him.
- Argh!
501
00:35:50,498 --> 00:35:53,008
We are going to have to share two rooms.
502
00:35:53,058 --> 00:35:54,968
How do you fancy bunking up, Anthony?
503
00:35:55,018 --> 00:35:58,928
- I didn't fuck MYSELF in that train
carriage, did I? - Are we done?
504
00:35:58,978 --> 00:36:00,248
Yes, Minister.
505
00:36:00,298 --> 00:36:03,088
I've not been doing too well,
Dad. I just wanted to come home.
506
00:36:03,138 --> 00:36:05,448
- Can I smell booze, love?
- Gin.
507
00:36:05,498 --> 00:36:07,608
I'm not sure that I can do this.
508
00:36:07,658 --> 00:36:11,658
Oh, shit!
509
00:36:11,708 --> 00:36:16,258
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