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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:04,590 They've been looking for an excuse to shut this place down for ages, Danny 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:06,730 and I think you're going to give it to them. 3 00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:09,850 - What needs to be simplified? - You, Jenny. 4 00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:11,830 - What about Jenny? - Yeah, she's cute. 5 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,770 - I'm just glad you're here to li.. look after me. - Always, Danny, yeah? 6 00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:19,510 - Have you ever seen Alien? - Yeah. - Every time we sleep together, 7 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:24,290 afterwards I feel like John Hurt in the dinner scene. 8 00:00:24,340 --> 00:00:27,530 Are you decent?... Shame. 9 00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,450 - What WAS lost? - Fucking loads. 10 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:33,500 Are you suggesting, sort of, amnesty for elderly non-EU relatives 11 00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:36,130 who can help with childcare arrangements and so forth 12 00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:38,210 and get people from first and second generation 13 00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:40,090 - immigrant families off benefits? - Yes. 14 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,570 This is the sort of thing you can brief the minister on. 15 00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:44,530 - No, not just now. Not at all. - Don't see why not? 16 00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:48,580 - Yeah, yeah sure. - Let's do it. - Absolutely. 17 00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:59,050 - New suit? - Er, no. 18 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,930 Oh, looks different somehow. 19 00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:04,210 Well, I had it dry-cleaned. 20 00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,890 And I found my iron in a small drawer. 21 00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:10,940 - Congratulations! - Thank you, bro. 22 00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:14,250 Oh, er, and as well, could you pull up the last ten years' numbers 23 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,010 on non-EU migration for me, please? 24 00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:19,770 OK. Yeah, whatever you want, boss. 25 00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:23,050 Yeah... I AM the boss, aren't I? 26 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:27,100 You all right? 27 00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:49,050 - Blepharospasm. - Oh, God, what does that mean? 28 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,810 That you have a... twitchy eye. 29 00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:56,650 - What causes it? - Well, it's usually the result of a number of factors. 30 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,490 - Right, so is everything. - Yeah. 31 00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:00,650 So, what specifically causes it? 32 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:04,700 Do you consume caffeine to excess? 33 00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:08,770 - Alcohol? - Well, yeah, of course. 34 00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:10,890 - Tobacco? - Sometimes. 35 00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:13,410 - Do you sleep well? - Barely ever. 36 00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:15,090 Do you suffer from stress? 37 00:02:15,140 --> 00:02:17,610 Everyone does, don't they? Constantly. 38 00:02:17,660 --> 00:02:19,250 There you are then. 39 00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:23,050 It's generally a result of all of those elements. 40 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,970 And if you can mitigate that... 41 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,610 So hang on, to sort out my eye, 42 00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:31,660 I have to solve the whole of the rest of my life? 43 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,690 Morning. 44 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,890 It's a bit small and stinky, isn't it? 45 00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:41,330 No, it's, um, cute 46 00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:43,210 vibrant, edgy. 47 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:45,770 Are we talking about my flat or my cock and balls? 48 00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:49,570 Both. 49 00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,730 We haven't spoken about that yet, have we? 50 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:55,130 - What? - The ring. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 51 00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:57,090 Just for show. 52 00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:59,170 You're not married? I thought... 53 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:03,220 No, I am. But we don't live together 54 00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:06,410 or love each other at all. 55 00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:07,970 Why do you wear it? 56 00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:11,210 Keep men away, partly. 57 00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:14,090 But I'm a man... aren't I? 58 00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:18,140 Then I have made a terrible, terrible mistake. 59 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:28,530 Matthew? 60 00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:31,850 I'm not angry, or anything, that you, er, cancelled dinner, 61 00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:34,530 by, er, by just ignoring me. 62 00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:38,580 I mean, it's only a two, three-hour journey from Northampton 63 00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:44,180 for your... your good old Mamma. 64 00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:49,770 So, yes, as established, er, I'm not angry. 65 00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:53,820 I just thought we could at least share some food together. 66 00:03:56,580 --> 00:04:00,410 What do you think... Matthew? 67 00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:04,460 LOUD BANGING AND THUMPING 68 00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:25,410 Morning. 69 00:04:25,460 --> 00:04:29,460 Sorry. I mean, um... morning. 70 00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:36,570 MARTINE YAWNS 71 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:38,450 - Big night? - Hmm. 72 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:41,210 PHONE RINGS 73 00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:45,260 Oh. His Master's Voice. The Minister. 74 00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:51,530 What is it with you and married women? 75 00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:53,690 Oh, sorry. Inappropriate. 76 00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:57,740 We're just work colleagues now, aren't we? So... 77 00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:02,900 After the dummy/ Danny run, can I come and find you? 78 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,930 Talk through briefing the Minister tomorrow? 79 00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:09,530 Need some fresh eyes on it all. 80 00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:13,580 Yeah. 81 00:05:14,260 --> 00:05:17,170 - There. - Ah, thank you. 82 00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:19,970 All right... stud? 83 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,090 - What do you mean? - Nothing. 84 00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:26,140 Right. Really? 85 00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:28,450 Oh, is that for me? 86 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,570 Yeah, my mum always said that the best recipe for happiness 87 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:33,690 or dealing with being fired 88 00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:37,740 and then having to work out your notice is baking, so, yeah. 89 00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:42,770 - OK. Self-medi-baking. - Mm-hm. 90 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:46,010 - Does Nathanial not get some? - I don't know. 91 00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:49,610 Does Nathanial want a chocolate banana cream cake 92 00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:53,660 from Jenny's big... box? 93 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,010 SHE MOUTHS 94 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:09,060 HE MOUTHS 95 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:18,730 SHE MOUTHS 96 00:06:18,780 --> 00:06:20,490 So, if you just give me the... 97 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,770 - Yeah, it's probably in that one. - Excellent. 98 00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:26,820 - Good work. - Thanks. 99 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:35,900 - Morning. - Yeah. Is it? Er, yeah. Good. 100 00:06:36,260 --> 00:06:38,450 - What? - Are you ready, Danny? 101 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,570 Er, I think so, yeah. 102 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:43,850 Prostitutes aren't going to jump out of the cupboards 103 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:47,900 - and flash us their big hairy arseholes, are they? - No. 104 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,890 Or heroin-laden midgets? 105 00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:52,690 I think they prefer the term little people, Katherine. 106 00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:56,740 - Or dwarves. - Yeah, I know. I was being funny-ish. 107 00:06:57,420 --> 00:07:00,050 Still. It's hateful. 108 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,570 OK. Sorry. 109 00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:05,650 - I was, er, just giving you a compliment, that's all. - Why? 110 00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:08,690 Well, this week you've been... 111 00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:11,530 .. diligent... focused. 112 00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:15,170 I mean, not high on ketamine, gin or poppers. 113 00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,850 Yeah, you know, well, I've been trying 114 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:20,970 - to sort my life out a bit, you know? - Good. You need to. 115 00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,890 I haven't had a drink for, like, six days now. 116 00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:26,410 Right. Well, well done. 117 00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:30,460 Katherine, I mean, that's, that's er... that's, that's good, isn't it? 118 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:32,770 Nearly a week? 119 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,730 Oh, I'm not a life coach, Danny. 120 00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:38,330 No, yeah, yeah, but you're all, um... 121 00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:40,330 .. you're all wise and stuff, aren't you? 122 00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:41,850 Like Gandalf. 123 00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:44,410 I've got a tattoo that suggests I'm not all that wizardy. 124 00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:47,490 - Can I see it? - No. 125 00:07:47,540 --> 00:07:50,890 You should probably see a professional -- counsellor or someone. 126 00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:52,810 Yeah, but why...? 127 00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:56,010 Why can't you just to tell me what to do though? 128 00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:59,490 You know, like everything else. 129 00:07:59,540 --> 00:08:02,090 From the little I know, 130 00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:06,140 I mean, it's as much about your environment as you, I think. 131 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:12,500 So, work out who drags you down. Root them out. 132 00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:18,020 - Until you're better, at least. - Is that it? 133 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:23,370 No, I think that's probably just the start, Danny. 134 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,290 Er, are you sure you're OK? 135 00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:28,810 - I mean, tomorrow is pretty massive, yeah? - Yeah. 136 00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:32,860 - Cool. Well, I trust you. - Really? - Hmm. 137 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,530 Yeah. Oh, fuck. 138 00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:39,930 What? What's wrong? 139 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:41,450 Ready for your dress? 140 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:45,500 Rehearsal. Run-through of the presentation. 141 00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:54,620 Oh, all right? It's... good to have you back... mate. 142 00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:58,970 - Is it? - Yeah. Feeling better? 143 00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:01,410 Sort of. Didn't know you could have, like, 144 00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:04,290 viral gastroenteritis for a whole week before. 145 00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:06,450 It's like being in labour from both ends. 146 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:09,850 - But for 168 hours. - Shit. 147 00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:11,490 Yeah. A lot! 148 00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:15,540 Well, it's been quiet without you. 149 00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:17,770 In a bad way or what? 150 00:09:17,820 --> 00:09:21,820 Really bad. It's bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, baddest-est. 151 00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:26,340 I... 152 00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:30,620 Morning, team. Do you want me to sit in or, er... 153 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:34,250 Um, we're OK for the minute, thank you. 154 00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:36,530 I am the most senior person here, so... 155 00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:40,580 No, I am. And we're fine. 156 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:51,500 OK, so um... 157 00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:56,020 Thank you for being here today, Minister... 158 00:09:56,300 --> 00:10:00,300 .. in your office in London town. 159 00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:04,490 Er, look, we don't need a full role-play -- 160 00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:06,770 you're not Danny Day-Lewis. 161 00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:10,820 Just start with the first slide and go from there, OK? 162 00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:15,380 Is that... right? 163 00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:18,410 I'm sorry, is there a problem? 164 00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:22,460 No. Er, carry on, please. 165 00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:26,690 In the history of past before now times... 166 00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:30,740 - No, we cut that line. - Did we? - Yes. 167 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,050 I'm sorry... 168 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:39,850 From now on in, let's pretend we ARE here for real. 169 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,730 She is the Minister. You are Danny Day-Lewis. 170 00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:46,780 And there will be blood. 171 00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:54,020 - You all right, Minister? - Uh-huh. 172 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,250 Well... survived. 173 00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:06,300 - I wasn't too nervous? - No, it was fine. 174 00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:11,650 Yeah, it was... fine. Yeah. 175 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:15,700 Cool. Thank you, guys. 176 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,450 How did it go, your little fucking practice? 177 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:47,410 It was OK, I think, yeah. 178 00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:51,460 Did you get a little tick from the teach? 179 00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:59,940 Want to, like, pop out for, like, a drink to celebrate? 180 00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:05,130 Why not? 181 00:12:05,180 --> 00:12:09,090 - It's quarter to 11. - So? 182 00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:11,330 Yeah, but... 183 00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,770 Angela... 184 00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:15,690 Angela... 185 00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:17,490 Angela, stop it! 186 00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:20,090 Why, have you got some hot slut you want to go and finger-bang? 187 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,930 - No, I've got to rewrite my intro. - SHE LAUGHS 188 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:25,370 Angela! 189 00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:27,250 I've got important things to do. 190 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,930 GRUNTING 191 00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:33,980 I order you to stop. 192 00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:38,530 - You order me? - Yeah. 193 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:42,580 Are you fucking serious? 194 00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:53,740 Right then. 195 00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:59,180 DOOR SLAMS 196 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,730 - Hi. - Yeah. 197 00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:12,780 Did you actually think that any of that... was all... fine? 198 00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,490 Uh-huh. 199 00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:18,250 Really? 200 00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,410 Yeah. 201 00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:24,460 I mean, Danny is trying hard, but he's just not up to it, is he? 202 00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:31,130 I mean, he's barely speaking English, let alone coherent policy. 203 00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:34,130 He's going to fucking humiliate himself. 204 00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:36,050 And us. 205 00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:39,770 So, I could step in, if I have to or... 206 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,930 - Danny is your manager, Katherine. - I know, but... 207 00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:46,330 I'm not here to help you sugar-coat collective failure. 208 00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,050 I am here, on behalf of the Minister, 209 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:51,450 for us to assess how this place has been run. 210 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:55,010 So, what's fairer than letting Danny give an honest account of himself? 211 00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,610 I mean, Katherine, as much as we don't... 212 00:13:57,660 --> 00:14:00,730 In any way like each other or have anything in common 213 00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:04,780 except vaginas and failed experiments with fringes? 214 00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:08,970 - Do you take this job at all seriously? - Yes, of course. 215 00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:13,020 But you don't take yourself very seriously, do you? 216 00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:15,170 - Did you just wink at me? - No! 217 00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:19,220 I, I've just got something in it. Go on. 218 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:23,250 - Because you're not what you could be, are you? - I'm sorry? 219 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,410 I mean, you're intelligent, clearly, 220 00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:29,460 but as it stands, you're kicked out to the regions -- 221 00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:33,330 single, lost, crumpled. 222 00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:37,050 Failure is circling you like a... 223 00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:40,530 .. like a Hula Hoop. 224 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:41,810 Yeah? 225 00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:44,690 Well, you're a fucking... 226 00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:48,740 dick! 227 00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:50,330 Mm-hm. 228 00:15:25,274 --> 00:15:27,324 SHE GASPS 229 00:15:33,674 --> 00:15:36,064 Oh! 230 00:15:36,114 --> 00:15:40,114 SHE GROANS LOUDLY 231 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:45,874 SNORING 232 00:15:48,674 --> 00:15:52,264 SNORING 233 00:15:52,314 --> 00:15:54,184 Jeffries! 234 00:15:54,234 --> 00:15:57,064 [JEFFRIES GASPS] Morning. 235 00:15:57,114 --> 00:16:01,114 - Are you all right? - Er, fine. 236 00:16:01,914 --> 00:16:04,184 Just a long commute. You? 237 00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:06,784 Yeah. Just... 238 00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:09,704 normal... stuff. 239 00:16:09,754 --> 00:16:13,754 - Marvellous. Er... coffee? - Fuck, yes! 240 00:16:30,874 --> 00:16:33,584 - Do you want some lardy cake? - What you saying? 241 00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:36,264 Nothing, it was just a cake offer query. 242 00:16:36,314 --> 00:16:40,314 - Oh, right. Ta. - OK. 243 00:16:50,154 --> 00:16:54,154 - What? - I was just wondering, have you been on many, like, dates 244 00:16:56,114 --> 00:16:58,424 with, you know, men? 245 00:16:58,474 --> 00:17:02,474 - Define date. - Nice dinner, a few drinks, then maybe... 246 00:17:04,554 --> 00:17:07,384 Not really, mate. Why would you pay to sit and have dinner in a room? 247 00:17:07,434 --> 00:17:10,824 OK. Um, because I was just wondering 248 00:17:10,874 --> 00:17:14,874 whether it's sort of normal for a man to not... um... 249 00:17:17,314 --> 00:17:19,744 Listen, Jenny, right. 250 00:17:19,794 --> 00:17:22,344 The one thing that you've got to remember 251 00:17:22,394 --> 00:17:26,184 is all men are stupid, lying fucking shithouses, 252 00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:30,234 that just need to be called on all this fucking shit, yeah? 253 00:17:31,274 --> 00:17:32,984 Right. 254 00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:37,034 Yes. Thank you for the tippity-tip. 255 00:17:39,194 --> 00:17:43,194 Right, yeah... 256 00:17:44,834 --> 00:17:48,824 - Is that blepharospasm? - You know about it? 257 00:17:48,874 --> 00:17:52,874 I had it in my 20s, 30s, most of my 40s. 258 00:17:53,794 --> 00:17:57,794 Can be a bit of an effing B -- bitch. 259 00:17:58,114 --> 00:18:02,114 Like Martine. So weird she was freezing you out earlier. 260 00:18:02,194 --> 00:18:05,504 I don't know. Er, human mind 261 00:18:05,554 --> 00:18:08,824 in all its terrible wonder. 262 00:18:08,874 --> 00:18:11,224 Yeah, we're awful, aren't we? 263 00:18:11,274 --> 00:18:13,424 I don't think so, no. 264 00:18:13,474 --> 00:18:17,344 I just think, um, we're all rather scared 265 00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:20,984 of our limitations and frailties, 266 00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:25,034 so we lash out in the face of a cold... dark... unknowable universe... 267 00:18:29,794 --> 00:18:33,794 .. full of pain and infinite, unfettered... loss. 268 00:18:38,394 --> 00:18:40,464 You mean Northampton, right? 269 00:18:40,514 --> 00:18:44,104 Oh. 270 00:18:44,154 --> 00:18:45,824 Have you tried steam? 271 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:49,384 Um, warm vapours relieve the muscles. 272 00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:53,434 Always worked for me. 273 00:19:04,314 --> 00:19:07,224 - I didn't mean it. - What? 274 00:19:07,274 --> 00:19:11,274 Any of anything I've ever done or said in my life to upset you. 275 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,024 Yeah. So, what? 276 00:19:15,074 --> 00:19:17,584 So, I'm going to take you for that drink 277 00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,304 and buy you whatever you want 278 00:19:19,354 --> 00:19:22,104 and never fucking disrespect you again forever and ever 279 00:19:22,154 --> 00:19:24,824 and also some ever after that as well, too. 280 00:19:24,874 --> 00:19:28,874 About fucking time. 281 00:19:50,914 --> 00:19:54,914 ECSTATIC MOAN 282 00:19:55,234 --> 00:19:57,984 Argh! Motherfucker! Eye! 283 00:19:58,034 --> 00:19:59,424 Ow! 284 00:19:59,474 --> 00:20:03,304 SHE CRIES OUT IN PAIN 285 00:20:03,354 --> 00:20:04,944 Oh! 286 00:20:04,994 --> 00:20:08,424 CRASHING AND BANGING 287 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:12,474 Ah... 288 00:20:23,434 --> 00:20:24,784 Don't ask. 289 00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:27,544 Are you going to come in then or...? 290 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:30,104 Only if we just talk about work for a minute. 291 00:20:30,154 --> 00:20:34,154 Not eyes or us or anything. 292 00:20:35,114 --> 00:20:36,784 - Deal. - Thank you. 293 00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:39,904 I've been going through Danny's presentation. 294 00:20:39,954 --> 00:20:41,624 I mean, however you spin it, 295 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,384 it's still, basically, going to increase immigration 296 00:20:44,434 --> 00:20:46,384 from non-EU countries. 297 00:20:46,434 --> 00:20:49,984 And that's not something this lot would want, is it? 298 00:20:50,034 --> 00:20:53,264 Maybe they're trying to change their image a bit, 299 00:20:53,314 --> 00:20:55,624 maybe detoxify it all. 300 00:20:55,674 --> 00:20:58,584 Maybe. I dunno. 301 00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:02,634 I just can't see how this isn't going to go really fucking badly. 302 00:21:04,034 --> 00:21:08,034 Well, we'll see tomorrow, I suppose, won't we? 303 00:21:08,194 --> 00:21:12,194 Yeah. 304 00:21:13,354 --> 00:21:16,224 "We"? 305 00:21:16,274 --> 00:21:20,274 Oh, Martine came in a bit ago and said she wanted another body there 306 00:21:21,434 --> 00:21:24,904 for extended Q&A with the Minister after the presentation. 307 00:21:24,954 --> 00:21:26,744 Said I'd be happy to. 308 00:21:26,794 --> 00:21:28,584 Why would she do that? 309 00:21:28,634 --> 00:21:32,634 Maybe she thinks I'm... good. 310 00:21:33,954 --> 00:21:35,504 Fine. 311 00:21:35,554 --> 00:21:39,554 Right, well, thanks for that all... 312 00:21:40,554 --> 00:21:43,904 - .. mate. - That's all right... 313 00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:47,954 .. pal. 314 00:21:48,194 --> 00:21:52,194 Need a hand? 315 00:21:52,714 --> 00:21:55,464 No. 316 00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:58,064 What IS up with your eye? 317 00:21:58,114 --> 00:22:02,114 The universe. 318 00:22:08,674 --> 00:22:10,384 - Nathaniel. - Jenny. 319 00:22:10,434 --> 00:22:14,144 I, um, I just wanted to say that... 320 00:22:14,194 --> 00:22:18,024 .. just because we went for a nice Italian dinner 321 00:22:18,074 --> 00:22:22,074 and I had a few too many wines and things did get a bit blurry, 322 00:22:23,194 --> 00:22:25,984 but we did definitely do that thing on the bus 323 00:22:26,034 --> 00:22:30,034 where I helped you have a warm time, 324 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,344 when no-one else was on the top deck with us, um... 325 00:22:33,394 --> 00:22:37,394 Well, listen, it doesn't mean that I'm just some big slag-bunny 326 00:22:37,674 --> 00:22:40,944 that you can just stop talking to now, does it? 327 00:22:40,994 --> 00:22:43,424 You... shithouse! 328 00:22:43,474 --> 00:22:47,474 - I thought you weren't talking to ME. - No, I'm talking to YOU, aren't I? 329 00:22:47,674 --> 00:22:49,784 - Yeah, and I'm talking to YOU. - Are you? 330 00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:52,504 I just didn't want to, like, bug you. 331 00:22:52,554 --> 00:22:56,554 You know, I was playing it, like, cool. 332 00:22:56,714 --> 00:23:00,064 Cool? Yeah, yeah... No, so was I. 333 00:23:00,114 --> 00:23:01,704 Oh, thank God for that! 334 00:23:01,754 --> 00:23:05,304 Because it was one of the nicest one-way bus journeys. 335 00:23:05,354 --> 00:23:07,584 Like, ever. 336 00:23:07,634 --> 00:23:11,634 OK. Right. Cool, good. 337 00:23:12,154 --> 00:23:15,464 - Do you want a whole apricot sponge? - Yeah. 338 00:23:15,514 --> 00:23:19,514 MUSIC: All Right Now by Free 339 00:23:22,914 --> 00:23:26,914 What's wrong? You nervous about your presentation thingy tomorrow? 340 00:23:27,634 --> 00:23:29,984 Yeah. I am, yeah. 341 00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:33,184 You know what nerves are though, don't you? 342 00:23:33,234 --> 00:23:34,584 Emotions? 343 00:23:34,634 --> 00:23:38,634 No, nature's way of telling you you shouldn't do summat. 344 00:23:39,754 --> 00:23:43,344 - How? - Well, it's like evolution and that. 345 00:23:43,394 --> 00:23:45,544 You get nervous about climbing a cliff 346 00:23:45,594 --> 00:23:47,544 cos you shouldn't climb a fucking cliff. 347 00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:49,944 That's why we don't live on cliffs now. 348 00:23:49,994 --> 00:23:53,064 - Is it? - Uh-huh. 349 00:23:53,114 --> 00:23:56,184 And I won't live on a fucking cliff, Danny, for anyone. 350 00:23:56,234 --> 00:24:00,234 Do you get me? 351 00:24:00,834 --> 00:24:04,584 I thought we were just going to have... one. 352 00:24:04,634 --> 00:24:08,374 Yeah, one tray, one round -- so... one. 353 00:24:22,452 --> 00:24:24,754 ANNOUNCEMENT: 'The next train to London 354 00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:27,415 'will be arriving in 20 minutes.' 355 00:24:35,298 --> 00:24:37,240 PHONE RINGS 356 00:24:37,458 --> 00:24:40,568 - Hello? - Are you lost? 357 00:24:40,618 --> 00:24:43,528 No. I'm, I'm, I'm just in a little pickle. 358 00:24:43,578 --> 00:24:45,408 What does that mean, Danny? 359 00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:47,368 Look, are you going to be here on time? 360 00:24:47,418 --> 00:24:49,128 PHONE GOES DEAD 361 00:24:49,178 --> 00:24:53,178 Look, please don't leave me alone with them. Fuck. 362 00:24:53,698 --> 00:24:56,808 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS 363 00:24:56,858 --> 00:25:00,858 Oh... 364 00:25:01,418 --> 00:25:05,418 Ah. 365 00:25:08,458 --> 00:25:11,888 So, what happened? Someone hit you? 366 00:25:11,938 --> 00:25:14,568 - You know... - Katherine? - Hmm? 367 00:25:14,618 --> 00:25:18,618 Do you want me to go and get you a new, cold one from the shop? 368 00:25:20,418 --> 00:25:23,048 Yeah. Thank you, yeah. 369 00:25:23,098 --> 00:25:27,098 SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 370 00:25:31,058 --> 00:25:33,088 - Hey, Jeffries. - Hiya. 371 00:25:33,138 --> 00:25:37,138 Oh... It's Jeffries, yes. Where's, er, Danyak? 372 00:25:40,218 --> 00:25:44,218 Oh, er... 373 00:25:45,578 --> 00:25:49,288 Do you, do you ever get a weird, like, feeling 374 00:25:49,338 --> 00:25:52,888 in, in, in your stomach and in your head sometimes, 375 00:25:52,938 --> 00:25:55,248 - when you've done something bad? - No. 376 00:25:55,298 --> 00:25:59,298 Ang, you do. There's, there's, like, a, a word for it. 377 00:25:59,498 --> 00:26:02,048 It begins with a, a letter. 378 00:26:02,098 --> 00:26:06,098 They all do, mate. Have you got any ket left? 379 00:26:13,818 --> 00:26:17,768 HE INHALES DEEPLY 380 00:26:17,818 --> 00:26:21,818 G. G. It, it begin, it begins with, with the G one. 381 00:26:24,898 --> 00:26:27,608 Guilt. 382 00:26:27,658 --> 00:26:30,968 So? 383 00:26:31,018 --> 00:26:32,288 What? 384 00:26:32,338 --> 00:26:33,968 What? 385 00:26:34,018 --> 00:26:35,648 What? 386 00:26:35,698 --> 00:26:36,848 Ketamine. 387 00:26:36,898 --> 00:26:39,448 Begins with, with a K. 388 00:26:39,498 --> 00:26:42,848 HE INHALES DEEPLY 389 00:26:42,898 --> 00:26:46,898 - SHE LAUGHS - Cor. 390 00:26:47,538 --> 00:26:51,538 DANCE MUSIC THROBS 391 00:27:00,378 --> 00:27:04,378 OK, so, um... without our dearest Daniel 392 00:27:05,978 --> 00:27:09,978 one of you will have to step into the breach of speech talking... 393 00:27:11,258 --> 00:27:13,328 .. and present to the Minister. 394 00:27:13,378 --> 00:27:15,368 Yeah, I've never really done that kind of thing, 395 00:27:15,418 --> 00:27:17,808 so I don't think I should. 396 00:27:17,858 --> 00:27:21,048 Katherine? Et tu? 397 00:27:21,098 --> 00:27:23,008 Well, I mean I could, but it's not... 398 00:27:23,058 --> 00:27:25,208 I thought you wanted to stand in for him anyway. 399 00:27:25,258 --> 00:27:29,168 - Look, I... Yeah, I said that when... - Is that agreed then, Katherine? 400 00:27:29,218 --> 00:27:30,608 Katherine? 401 00:27:30,658 --> 00:27:32,888 Yeah, I think Katherine should do it. 402 00:27:32,938 --> 00:27:36,938 Look, will everyone just stop saying my name for a minute, OK? 403 00:27:38,618 --> 00:27:41,288 No, I just think the Minister's not actually going to like 404 00:27:41,338 --> 00:27:45,338 what we're going to say, however or whoever says it, so... 405 00:27:46,578 --> 00:27:49,128 The Minister is very receptive to lots of ideas, 406 00:27:49,178 --> 00:27:50,608 however they're expressed. 407 00:27:50,658 --> 00:27:52,368 Like non-EU migration. 408 00:27:52,418 --> 00:27:55,208 The party is progressing. 409 00:27:55,258 --> 00:27:59,258 Yeah, they've just about got to 1950. 410 00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:04,138 Unless, this isn't... you know, 411 00:28:04,858 --> 00:28:08,858 about honestly hearing how we're doing. This is about... 412 00:28:09,738 --> 00:28:13,738 .. getting the Minister to shut us down. 413 00:28:14,618 --> 00:28:16,728 Oh, don't be so ridiculous! 414 00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:20,778 You know, out of spite or something like that? 415 00:28:20,938 --> 00:28:23,568 Katherine, we have talked about this. 416 00:28:23,618 --> 00:28:25,528 I'm not bothered either way. 417 00:28:25,578 --> 00:28:28,248 However paranoid you want to be, 418 00:28:28,298 --> 00:28:31,968 you are getting a fair shot to impress the Minister here, 419 00:28:32,018 --> 00:28:36,018 so it's up to you whether you want to take it or not. 420 00:28:36,098 --> 00:28:40,098 OK? 421 00:28:40,418 --> 00:28:44,418 SHE MOUTHS 422 00:28:46,658 --> 00:28:50,658 TRAIN BRAKES SQUEAL 423 00:28:55,938 --> 00:28:59,408 Oh, fudge. 424 00:28:59,458 --> 00:29:03,458 - Oh, shit. Oh, fuck this now! - What's wrong? 425 00:29:04,378 --> 00:29:07,848 - Nose bleed -- a lot. - Oh, God! 426 00:29:07,898 --> 00:29:11,248 Oh, yes, it's a common symptom of stress... 427 00:29:11,298 --> 00:29:13,648 - There's a toilet down there. - Sorry. - I'll just... 428 00:29:13,698 --> 00:29:17,698 - Sorry. - I'll get out of your way. 429 00:29:18,458 --> 00:29:20,328 - Oh... - You all right? 430 00:29:20,378 --> 00:29:23,088 - All right, go on. - Oh... 431 00:29:23,138 --> 00:29:25,648 - Oh! - You stay there. 432 00:29:25,698 --> 00:29:29,698 There you go, there you go, there you go. 433 00:29:34,218 --> 00:29:35,768 Do you... 434 00:29:35,818 --> 00:29:38,968 ever get the feeling that... 435 00:29:39,018 --> 00:29:43,018 .. you're just completely, utterly fucked? 436 00:29:45,218 --> 00:29:49,218 Yeah, yeah, all the time. 437 00:29:50,098 --> 00:29:54,098 Er, you missed some... around your... 438 00:29:54,458 --> 00:29:58,408 Hang on one sec. Around your whole... Yeah. 439 00:29:58,458 --> 00:30:02,458 Oh, God, I look like an angry tampon. 440 00:30:04,058 --> 00:30:06,088 Sort of suits you. 441 00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:10,138 THEY LAUGH 442 00:30:25,658 --> 00:30:29,658 Poor girl. 443 00:30:29,858 --> 00:30:32,648 What are you setting her up for? 444 00:30:32,698 --> 00:30:34,288 And the rest of us? 445 00:30:34,338 --> 00:30:38,338 It's just a routine policy presentation, that's all. 446 00:30:39,658 --> 00:30:43,658 Or is it a chance to get back at me? 447 00:30:44,338 --> 00:30:47,848 And your brother? 448 00:30:47,898 --> 00:30:51,898 I think we're beyond that now, aren't we? 449 00:30:58,378 --> 00:31:02,378 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS 450 00:31:03,978 --> 00:31:06,488 - Where are you going? - To the sky. 451 00:31:06,538 --> 00:31:09,328 - I'm not sure... - What? 452 00:31:09,378 --> 00:31:13,378 - Maybe you should just have a little sit-down? - Why? 453 00:31:13,618 --> 00:31:16,888 Because you're completely fucking munted, that's why, Danny. 454 00:31:16,938 --> 00:31:19,808 I'm escaping the cliffs, like you said. 455 00:31:19,858 --> 00:31:23,858 - Yeah, I know, but... - So I need to keep going, don't I? 456 00:31:24,378 --> 00:31:26,328 HE SHOUTS OUT AND GLASS SMASHES 457 00:31:26,378 --> 00:31:30,008 This is all getting a little bit fucking silly now, mate! 458 00:31:30,058 --> 00:31:31,488 So fucking what? 459 00:31:31,538 --> 00:31:35,538 - You fuck! - Oh! 460 00:31:52,098 --> 00:31:56,098 Hmm. 461 00:31:56,938 --> 00:32:00,938 HE LAUGHS 462 00:32:01,898 --> 00:32:05,898 Oh, my God, I've missed you. 463 00:32:06,138 --> 00:32:07,888 - Yeah? - Yeah. 464 00:32:07,938 --> 00:32:10,888 - Yeah? - Yeah. - Yeah. 465 00:32:10,938 --> 00:32:14,648 Wait. Are you, are you on...? 466 00:32:14,698 --> 00:32:18,128 Er, no. A coil. 467 00:32:18,178 --> 00:32:22,178 - I didn't know they still did... - Shall we just? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 468 00:32:25,418 --> 00:32:29,418 - He's, er, very supportive of his colleagues. - Yeah. 469 00:32:31,898 --> 00:32:35,168 Admirable really. 470 00:32:35,218 --> 00:32:39,218 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND 471 00:32:43,778 --> 00:32:47,778 BOTTLES CLANK 472 00:32:53,618 --> 00:32:56,128 - ANGELA BANGS ON THE DOOR - Oh... 473 00:32:56,178 --> 00:32:58,688 Let's just chill out a bit, yeah? 474 00:32:58,738 --> 00:33:02,738 I can't. I've got some more. 475 00:33:04,178 --> 00:33:07,208 - BOTTLES CLINK - Danny? 476 00:33:07,258 --> 00:33:09,528 - Are you all right, mate? - Fine, fine. 477 00:33:09,578 --> 00:33:11,568 SHE BANGS ON THE DOOR 478 00:33:11,618 --> 00:33:15,618 Danny, are you all right, mate? 479 00:33:18,938 --> 00:33:21,048 - Oh! - Oh! 480 00:33:21,098 --> 00:33:25,098 - Oh! Oh! Oh! - Oh! 481 00:33:26,538 --> 00:33:28,408 Fuck. Oh... 482 00:33:28,458 --> 00:33:32,458 THEY PANT 483 00:33:34,578 --> 00:33:38,578 HE LAUGHS 484 00:33:39,458 --> 00:33:43,458 SHE RATTLES THE DOOR HANDLE 485 00:33:53,738 --> 00:33:57,738 You stupid fucking twat. 486 00:34:11,258 --> 00:34:15,258 - Oh, are you feeling better? - Yeah, yeah. Thank you. 487 00:34:21,018 --> 00:34:23,848 - You were a while. - That was his fault. 488 00:34:23,898 --> 00:34:25,368 - What? - Why? 489 00:34:25,418 --> 00:34:28,408 Well, he had a... 490 00:34:28,458 --> 00:34:31,368 .. a poo... 491 00:34:31,418 --> 00:34:35,418 .. after. 492 00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:43,578 - Is that why you're sweating? - Mmm-hmm. 493 00:34:51,858 --> 00:34:54,488 TANNOY: 'Sorry about all the technical difficulties, 494 00:34:54,538 --> 00:34:55,968 'ladies and gentlemen. 495 00:34:56,018 --> 00:35:00,018 'We might have to call it a day at the next stop, I'm afraid. Sorry.' 496 00:35:29,738 --> 00:35:33,738 SHE SIGHS 497 00:35:39,738 --> 00:35:41,808 Did anyone try Danny again? 498 00:35:41,858 --> 00:35:44,048 - H-hello? - In a bar maybe? 499 00:35:44,098 --> 00:35:47,568 - He's a Muslim. - He's a little bit lapsed in areas of his faith. 500 00:35:47,618 --> 00:35:50,448 - I think I might have broken him. - Argh! 501 00:35:50,498 --> 00:35:53,008 We are going to have to share two rooms. 502 00:35:53,058 --> 00:35:54,968 How do you fancy bunking up, Anthony? 503 00:35:55,018 --> 00:35:58,928 - I didn't fuck MYSELF in that train carriage, did I? - Are we done? 504 00:35:58,978 --> 00:36:00,248 Yes, Minister. 505 00:36:00,298 --> 00:36:03,088 I've not been doing too well, Dad. I just wanted to come home. 506 00:36:03,138 --> 00:36:05,448 - Can I smell booze, love? - Gin. 507 00:36:05,498 --> 00:36:07,608 I'm not sure that I can do this. 508 00:36:07,658 --> 00:36:11,658 Oh, shit! 509 00:36:11,708 --> 00:36:16,258 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37200

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