All language subtitles for Not Safe For Work s01e02.eng

You're sending me to the
Immigration Pathway team?

Their remit is to... develop
Government policy...

.. in relation to
immigrant... persons.

- Immigrants?
- Yes, those.

Yeah, I wrote the paper that
recommended they were set up.

Explain to me exactly what
the Immigration Pathway does.

It's very holistic, basically.

No, it's supposed to help people.

You must have everything
ready, steady to go, go, go

for your presentation for
the Minister next week.

- Did you have to name him in this?
- Maybe you could just sign it.

- You're famous now. - How?
- You're cited in my divorce papers.

They've been looking for an excuse
to shut this place down for ages.

And I think you're
gonna give it to them.

So what should I do?

Ahh!

MUSIC: Move With The
Season by Temples

? When the time comes

? Move with the season

? Lend your young ears
to the sound of day

? When the time comes

? Groove with the feeling

? Lend your young ears
to the sound of day... ?

Hello?

? When the time comes

? Move with the season

? Lend your young ears

? To the sound of day

? When the time comes

? Groove with the feeling

? Lend your ears to
the sound of day... ?

BIRD CAWS

- 'Hello.'
- Yeah, can I get a taxi, please?

- 'Where to?'
- Not sure.

- 'OK, well, where do you want
picking up from?' - I don't know.

- 'You all right, love? Not
in trouble, are you?' - No.

I'm in Northampton. And
I need to get to work now.

- Oh! - Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
I didn't wake you, did I?

Yes.

- What time is it?
- Six.

- In the morning? - Mm-hm.
- Do you always get up this early?

It's just something that
I do do, so I do do it.

Anyway, tatty-tatty-ra!

SNORING

- What's the date today?
- Er, the 8th.

Pinch and a punch for
the 8th of the month.

That's not right, is it?

Everything all right on board
HMS Katherine this morning?

Yes... Captain.

I, er, just didn't sleep very
well last night, unlike you.

Well, if it helps, at
least you'll be avoiding

some professional icebergs
on the starboard waters.

What?

Well, please keep it hush-hush
-- ultra, very hush --

but part of my brief here

is to scuttle a few ships
in the icy Atlantic depths.

Do you mean fire some people from
the Immigration Pathway Team?

- Yes.
- Who?

That is the question, Ms Winslet.

Yes, it is, Mr James Cameron.

Well, I'll be having some appraisal
"chats" with everyone today,

help me decide who's to
be our poor, drowning Leo.

Right.

It's not... me-o, is it?

No, of course not. You're not
going anywhere, Katherine.

- Thanks.
- In a good way, obviously.

Yeah.

Oh, we should also have a chat
about how ready you think we are

for our presentation to
the Minister next week.

Hopefully Dannyak's sent me
all the relevant paperwork,

so we can compare notes.

- OK, my hearty?
- Yeah.

Good morning.

Is it?

Nathaniel... have you had a stroke?

No, I had a date. Last night.
It went... really well.

If you know what I mean?

Did you have penetrative sex?

With a... woman?

Yeah, been ages since I'd...

Come in someone?

Yeah, me too.

Not that way round, but... you know.

- Yeah, well, I'd recommend it.
- What, sex?

Yeah. It's great, isn't it?

Yeah, I suppose it is.

If you do it right.
Or wrong, sometimes.

- Er, speaking of vaginas, have
you seen Danny? - Possibly.

What?

Well, I saw some shadows, moving
around earlier. Quite... slowly.

SHE KNOCKS ON DOOR

- Danny?
- Who is it?

- Katherine.
- Who?

Your old boss.

Your new... subordinate.

The one who knows you're
not really a Mus...

.. lim.

Have you been in here all night?

Well, we couldn't find a
late-opening bar, could we, Angela?

Looked fucking everywhere.

Well, that is a tragedy for
both of you, obviously, but...

Is that... coke?

- No, it's ketamine.
- What?

It's not. It's legal... powder.

Oh, that's all right, then.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

Did you know that Jeffries
is looking to fire people?

Who's Jeffries?

And if she sees all this, it might
help make up her mind, yeah?

Oh, we're clearing
up, though, aren't we?

What?

I thought you wanted to turn
things around here, Danny?

I do, Katherine. I do. This was just
a little... hiccup, that's all.

So... what you gonna
send to Jeffries?

Well, she asked you to send
her a copy of all the material

you'll be briefing the
Minister with next week.

And everything you've
got is shit, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Well. Look, er...

Here are the action points
from the paper that I wrote,

recommending this place was set up.

None of them were ever followed
properly, so just go through them,

see if there are any
quick wins we can find.

Er, maybe something you've done here,

we can salvage and call
it professional pride?

I'll have a dig too. OK?

I think I need a shit.

Oh!

All the work folders seem to be
on a shitty stand-alone server.

Are they not connected to London?

Er, I dunno. Is that a problem?

It's a bit of a... surprise.

I mean, how do you
access their files?

- I didn't wake you this morning, did I?
- I told you did when you did.

I just wanted to let you know

that we're going to have
a few drinks tonight,

welcome you and Jeffries.

- I've booked a table and everything.
We're having tacos! - I like tacos.

Yeah, me too. The Mexican taste,
in your English... mouth.

Yeah, we all like tacos, but I can't.

- How come?
- Er, well, I don't have a bed, do I?

So I'll probably just go back to
my own flat... share in London.

You can come for a bit, though.
The trains run back pretty late.

Today isn't a good day for me.

Honestly, I can't. I can't.

OK. We'll just have to have the
tacos without you, I suppose.

- Jenny, erm, could I have a wordy?
- Do you prefer burritos?

No, I like pizza, but it's
actually about something else.

If you don't want to come
for a drink with us,

you should just, like,
say, Katherine, you know?

That's not it at all, mate.

Do you want a tea or anything?

- Hey.
- Hey.

You all right?

Yeah. Yeah, mega.

Is it something I've done?

Ignore me.

Oh, and if Jeffries takes
you away for a chat today,

just be on your best, yeah?

PHONE VIBRATES

- Maybe I'll see you at the drinks thing?
- No, I won't be there.

I thought it was in your
honour? Half, anyway.

I don't... care.

OK. That's probably for the best.

Sorry, why is it for the best?

- You know.
- No.

Well, you can get a bit...
when you... imbibe.

How's that?

Well, this time last year...
It's not a big deal,

but when we used to go out, or
whatever it was we were doing...

I almost ended things, because
I thought you hated me,

because of how you got
when you're... drunk.

- That's all.
- Last year?

Maybe that's because
I had a lot going on.

Or were you too busy feeling
sorry for yourself to notice?

Shit!

You all right, Danny?

I had an accident.

Oh.

- What we gonna do with you, eh?
- I don't know.

HE COUGHS

- Oh! - Sorry.
- It's all right, mate.

Why aren't you saying anything?

Her heart has somehow... stopped.

Her?

You know, I think I will come
out for a drink with you lot.

Cool. How come?

Er, we don't have anything
to talk about, all right?

Don't be... shitty.
I'm just trying to...

Proving how much of an epic
fucking bell-end you are?

Just going for a... wee.

Carry on.

Two birds. One shower.

Erm... I'm not in trouble
or anything, am I?

What does trouble even mean, Jenny?

Bad things happening
to people in their lives

that they don't want
to happen to them

but seem to happen
all the time, anyway?

OK. All I can say at this stage
is, if work is a mountain --

which, in many ways, it is --

you have yet to leave base camp.

Oh, thank goodness!

OK, no, I thought you were
gonna fire me or something!

Be like new soon. Sort of.

- What is wrong with me?
- Ulcer, maybe? - What?

My dad was a bit of a
drinker. He was Irish.

He had a peptic ulcer before he died.

What did he die of?

- Peptic ulcer.
- Do you think I might have that?

No. You're just a social drinker.

And a social ketamine user.

Just social. And all the other shit.

I'm just glad you're here
to, like, look after me.

Aw, always, Danny. Yeah?

- SHE KNOCKS ON DOOR
- Yep.

I thought I was Winslet safe?

Of course you are. This is just a
little routine appraisal chatteroo.

I'm talking to everyone,

not just the vapid and
useless and doomed.

Though before we start, I want
to say how wonderful it's been

- to make a new friend.
- Oh, who's that?

You.

And as a friend, can I ask...?

Matthew, my beloved son,
has requested I pay for him

to travel to Ibiza for six months
to learn how to become a DJ.

- Do you think that's a good idea?
- No.

Right.

Thought not. Great. Kids!

Thank you. And please sit.

So, what's this appraisal stuff?

Well, having had a more detailed
look at your personnel records,

I see that, erm, sometimes
you can be a tad brusque

with others when they don't
meet your own high standards.

Something to work on, perhaps?

Yeah. Brusque.

Brusque. Curt. Blunt. Terse. Coarse.

Yeah, I know what it fucking means.

And, yes, I can be.

So I will try not to... be in future.

Excellent. You'll go far!

- Is that it?
- Yeah.

Oh, you didn't tell me how you think
we're faring for the Minister.

Danik still hasn't sent
me all the paperwork.

I think that he's maybe planning
on re-jigging some of it, maybe.

Oh, here he is. Perfect timing.
Erm, can we chat, D?

I'm actually feeling pretty ill,
J. Can it wait till, like, tomorrow?

He does look pretty awful.

OK, well, I do have quite a lot
of people to talk to today.

- So how about first thing tomorrow?
- Yeah.

Now, Angela... You. Now.

Are you... squelching?

- Do you smoke?
- Yeah.

So... what exactly do you think you
add to this organisation, Angela?

Class.

Maybe you should go home, Danny.

I'm all right.

Had any ideas yet?

Not really. You?

Getting anything done round here
is gonna be like juggling with sand.

With no arms or sand
or concept of juggling.

What should we do?

So, how are you finding Northampton?

Yeah, yeah, I've enjoyed it.
Getting away from London.

All that... madness.

Yes. I see your performance
standards did seem to drop,

quite significantly, in
your last year in London.

Is there a reason for that that
you can pin down exactly, Anthony?

Cheer up, everyone. Think how much
fun we'll have tonight, yes?

SALSA MUSIC POUNDS

So, who are you gonna seduce tonight
then, Nat, you sexy... fuck?

Yeah, think it might
have been a one-off.

You gonna see her again?

Not sure. She didn't respond
to my email today. Or text.

Or WhatsApp thing.
Or when I called her.

Right.

Are you trying too hard, maybe?

Well, I thought trying was good?

I tell you what -- if you want,
I'll be your wing-woman tonight.

Strike while your cock
is lukewarm-ish, yeah?

OK, brilliant.

So you think I'll keep my job, then?

- Let's not talk about work, Jenny.
Let's just party, OK? - OK. Woo!

Should, erm, Danak be out?

He said he was ill. Doesn't
look too with it to me.

Well, maybe he just wants to,
like, support you and Katherine

and show you that he's
a member of the team

and wants to stay
a member of the team

and doesn't want to leave the team,

because he doesn't know what
he'd do if that happened.

You know?

- Sniff, sniff, pick-me-up?
- In a minute, yeah.

Are you just here to spite me?

Yeah. Why are you here?

Don't be like that.

But I'm celebrating.

W-W-What?

- A birthday.
- Whose?

It's good of Danark to take
one for the team and join us.

Yeah. He's a great man.

So, who are you gonna fire, then?

I can trust you to be discreet?

- We're friends, aren't we?
- Yes.

Well, erm, as it stands,

both Jenny and Angela can
be dismissed quite easily.

And we're looking to lose at
least one person, ASABP, so...

Wow. So who you gonna pick?

Well, that is
Sophie's/Jeffries' choice. Yes.

- Back in a minute, all right?
- OK.

Where are you two going?

Just to wee. Legally.

Jesus, Danny, you're meant to be ill.

And a fucking Muslim.

Come and join us, if you want.
It's free. And it's legal. Wee.

Yeah, fuck it, go on, then.

Do you wanna join us, kind sir?

Erm, I'm all right, actually, Angela.

Oh, don't be a cunt. Come on.

Is this not against your faith?

Yeah, I don't think
the big... book...

Koran.

Yeah, I don't think it mentions coke.

But I thought this was ketamine?

No, you start with
coke, get you going

and then you end with ketamine,
take the edge off. Textbook.

As sensible as all that sounds,

I'm... not really sure
this is a good idea.

Yeah, you're probably right.

If you can't handle your drink,

this'll definitely
be too much for you.

SHE SNORTS

I should just say...

I'm just gonna say, it because you
are a great person Angela, yeah,

but you're gonna have to
be really fucking careful,

because I think that you might...

They're gonna...

They need to, like, sack, like,
one person from the office,

and I think you might...

I mean, I've heard that you might be
the one that they might, like... sack.

- Yeah.
- They wouldn't do that.

They sort of like totally fucking
would, though, you know?

Yeah!

I'm not gonna let that
happen to you, Angela.

I won't. You're all
I've got. Sort of got.

Oh, that is lovely, Danny.

I know what to do.

Maybe you should slow down a bit?

Maybe you should...

shut up a bit?

- I think it was yours.
- What?

I tried to call you, but...

I did the dates. And the maths.

But I was never really... sure.

Who? What?

What maths?

I tried to call you a few times
after that, but I bottled it.

And, well, then,

after she... went...

.. I wasn't really sure what
the point was any more.

She?

If I was to put money
on it, you'd win.

At a... canter.

Katherine, this isn't...

Probably not the best
time to tell you.

I was actually starting
to enjoy it here.

Like, putting myself back together
again, after London and everything.

And then you just,
like, fucking arrive.

- I did not ask to come here!
- I know. But you did.

Fuck it. If they want someone
to leave, I will.

- What? Anthony, don't...
- I'm gonna hand my notice in.

Then we won't have to fucking
do all this ever again.

Fucking any of it.

Shit!

ANGELA WHIMPERS

Woo!

You gonna help me pull, then?

Yeah.

Look, I don't know what I'm doing,

but to make sure they don't fire you,

let's do all the work,
like, now, yeah?

- Like now, now?
- Now, now.

What about... her?

No. Too attractive.

I need some sort of weakness.

Otherwise there's no way in.

Clever! Clever!

So what game are we playing?

Find Nat A Woman game.
You can help, if you want.

Oh, marvellous! OK!

What about Jenny? She's single.

- No, I don't think so.
- I dunno.

Really? Fuck off!

No, yeah, she's... all
right. Sort of... cute...

and everything.

Hi, Katherine. Have you seen Danak?

Cos I haven't seen him
for a while. Or Angela.

Would you fuck Nat?

What?

It's a simple question. Would you?

You would, wouldn't you?
Yeah, you would. Go on.

Erm, actually, I'm sort
of off men at the mo.

Oh, what, cos you had
a little... divorce?

Erm, well, no, but...

I'm getting a divorce. Look at me.

I just, erm... I don't feel
like I could trust someone.

Like that. Again. At the minute.

Did he cheat on you?

- I think he did, yeah.
- I bet he fucking did.

What?

I can see why he would do that.

Objectively speaking.

Yeah.

Yeah, I just...

.. really, really loved him.

Erm... sorry.

What did you say to her?
I only wanted a date.

And some sex.

You seem to have been more than
a little brusque, Katherine.

Yeah. Sorry.

Well, maybe you should stay
somewhere else tonight.

You're not gonna try
and chat me up, are you?

- Yes.
- How old are you?

30.

- SHE LAUGHS
- What?

- 30?
- Yes.

No.

- Bit younger.
- Yeah.

I'm Katherine.

So you own your own place?

Sort of. My folks are away for a bit.

In Hong Kong.

So it's all mine.

- For now, anyway.
- Right.

Am I meant to be impressed?

This place is...

.. AMAZING!

Yeah.

I love it here.

It's really, like, calm, you know?

And...

.. sexy.

I'm not going to sleep with you.

SHE LAUGHS

Where did my shoes go?

SCRAPING

- What are you doing?
- It's her birthday.

Who?

Can I get a taxi, please?

- 'You're not in trouble, are you?'
- No.

I'm in Northampton and
I need to get to work now.

What are you doing?

- Working. What you doing?
- I don't know.

Me neither. But I gotta, like,
sort this shit out, you know?

Yeah, you do.

You need some help
or we're all fucked.

Cool.

So where do we start?

Look, I think maybe you've
got two options.

What's that?

Invent a time machine, go
back, write up and research

12 months of sophisticated
policy work.

Then you'll have something
to brief the Minister with

and everyone will think the
Immigration Pathway is amazing

and you'll have some
stuff to show Jeffries.

What's the other option?

Delete everything.

Pretend you lost it
all to an IT glitch.

- Let's do that one, then.
- Yeah, OK.

Click that.

Open... that...

Click that...

Push...

Press delete...

And it's gone.

- They're sending someone.
- Who? - London.

- Here? When? Who?
- Yes. Soon. Je ne sais pas.

And whenever you even vaguely
think about saying something,

just shut the fuck up, OK?

Wonderful to meet you at last.
I've heard a lot about you.

Danyak something, is
it? Or just... Danny?

It's about you wanting
to control everyone

and make them do the Whatever
Katherine Wants dance.

That is not a real dance.

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