Original subtitles

(eerie music)

(dramatic music)

(suspenseful music)

- [Loud Speaker] Welcome to the House of Horror.

(sinister cackling)

(sinister cackling)

Welcome, welcome to the House of horror.

(kids laughing)

Have a chilling, killing time.

(eerie music)

- Eddie. You look pretty scary.

- Hey, Eddie. Remember the Sigma Phi shake?

There you go, little brother. Now, remember that's a secret.

- Here you go, Eddie.

Keep the change and buy yourself a new mask.

(car engine rumbling)

- Hey, Eddie, how's it going?

Well, you have a good night.

Oh, by the way, Eddie. Nice mask.

Looks real scary.

(eerie music)

- [Loud Speaker] Welcome to the House of Horror.

(sinister cackling)

Oh, we're so glad you came.

Have a chilling, killing time.

(sinister cackling)

(eerie music)

Oh, we're so glad you came.

Have a chilling, killing time.

Oh, welcome to the House of Horror.

Oh, happy, happy.

Have a wonderful, wonderful time.

(sinister cackling)

(tense music)

- Come on, Eddie.

You know you're too young to work in the house.

Maybe next year.

Hey, you better get some sleep.

Your mom said we have a lot of work to do tomorrow.

I'm going on home.

Hey, Eddie. I'll see you later.

- Welcome to the House of Horror.

(eerie music)

Welcome to the House of Horror.

Welcome to the House of Horror.

(metal sheet rattling)

Welcome to the House of Horror.

Welcome to the House of Horror.

(eerie music)

- [Announcer] Blood.

Death.

Murder.

Blood.

Death.

Murder.

(people screaming in terror)

- Boo!

- You're not very scary.

Mommy? Mommy, where are you?

Mommy?

(eerie music)

Mommy, I'm lost!

(gasps)

I know you. Do you know the way out?

(suspenseful music)

(suspenseful music cont.)

(laughing)

- I can't believe that one part.

- God.

- Katie, come on, honey!

Katie!?

(screaming)

- Mommy!

Mommy!

Mommy!

(tense music)

(metal rattling)

(tense music)

(screaming)

- [Mama] Eddie, we need to go away for a while.

(axe chopping)

Eddie, where are you with that wood?

- [Eddie] Mama?

(suspenseful music)

Mama? No...

No, Mama! Mama!

No! (shout echoing)

It's time to go home, Mama.

(upbeat music) (indistinct party chatter)

- Excellent, excellent.

Fill'er up!

- It's so cold!

- It is?

- Yes!

- Damn, we never have cold beer.

- Yeah!

- So I told this guy I was a food inspector

and he gave me all this food.

Great, huh?

(upbeat music cont.)

- Oh, can we go somewhere?

- Sure, babe.

- Found the perfect spot.

- Oh, you're so nice to me.

(burping)

- Brothers, little sisters. How are we?

(cheering)

The Sigma Phis have always been in front of the rest.

- [Crowd] Yeah!

- It is a pleasure to be your leader.

(cheering continues)

- All right. Quit it, quit it, quit it.

- [Crowd] Ooh.

- This letter is from our national headquarters.

I rescued it from Bo's shoe.

- Man, there was a hole in my shoe

and the letter looked pretty thick, so I patched it up!

(laughing)

- Did you read the letter first?

- What? Are you kidding?

He can't read.

(laughing)

- I think I should read this letter.

Dear Mr. Simmons, it is my job to inform you that

although we would like to keep you as members

of our national fraternity,

it is difficult without your dues.

- [Crowd] Oh!

- In the past six months,

we have received a total of $17.13.

You are currently past due in the amount of $3,700.

- Man, that is total bullshit!

I sent them a check last week!

- [Teenager] How much?

- Four dollars.

(laughing)

- If we do not receive your dues in full, we'll be forced

to revoke your membership as a national fraternity.

You have 30 days to reply with your payment.

- So I guess it's our last party.

- [Crowd] Aww.

- [Teenager] Call upon the Reverend!

- Friends, the Lord has called upon me

to call upon you.

He said to me, he said, "Kurt,

there is a road, a road that you must travel.

And on this road, you will find happiness,

friendship, and brotherhood."

Lord, help us.

- Help us! Help us! Help us!

- But this road, it costs money.

It costs $3,700.

(crowd booing)

So I ask you,

help me find the way

and dig down deep, deeper, into your pockets,

and give me, your leader,

a hundred dollars each.

(crowd booing)

(upbeat music)

- Mel, it's good to see you finally made it.

- Well, Kurt, I see your fraternity's in trouble, as usual.

- What was that for?

- I've missed you.

- I just saw you this afternoon.

- That's not what I mean.

- Okay, then what do you mean?

- Let's take a walk.

- Hanks, get Listen and Jack.

We need to have a meeting in my room. Ten minutes.

Make that 20.

- Take me 30 seconds.

That's 18, dude.

- One more?

- I'm going home with her.

(upbeat music)

(soft rock music)

- You know, you seem to ignore me lately.

- I don't mean to, Mel.

- I know, but why can't we just do something sometime?

We used to do a lot together before you became president.

- I know. Being president takes a lot of time.

I'm responsible for these guys.

At least, what's left of them.

- Do you remember this summer,

when you had to leave my family's vacation?

- Yeah. My dad needed some help on the farm.

- I know, and I can understand that,

but it's always something.

- So what's bothering you?

- I guess I'm just jealous of your friends.

- That's okay. That's normal.

My friends are much cooler than your friends.

- I'm serious, Kurt.

- Look, I really like what I'm doing here.

These guys mean a lot to me.

One day, we'll have a chance to do something for each other.

- I know, but I love you.

Even if you do ignore me half the time.

- I'll try harder.

- I'll try to be more understanding.

- Tomorrow, we'll go some place. Just you and me.

No fraternity.

- That would be nice.

- Let's go back inside.

All right, guys, we need to talk.

This letter I read was really important.

Let's get to the problem.

We are going down unless we find some money fast.

- Man, I wrote them a letter and told them

we were having a few problems.

- Well, Hanks, what did you say in the letter?

- "To whom it may concern, man, we're having a few problems.

Sincerely, Hanks. Treasurer."

- Man. I don't know how you came to be treasurer.

- [Hanks] Hell, Listen. You nominated me.

- I did? I did that?

- Hey, let's have a car wash.

- Oh, man. I hate to wash my own car,

much less somebody else's.

Let's steal a car and sell it!

- Guys, guys.

The last time we had a car wash, we only made $120.

- We can rake the neighbor's leaves.

It's that time of year.

- Man, we're not in college to work.

We're in college to use our minds.

Let's rob a liquor store. Everybody does it.

- Oh, yeah. Right?

And as far as raking leaves goes, our neighbors hate us.

If they knew that we needed money,

they'd probably find it all and hide it.

- Well, that's a problem we need to think about.

- Kurt, let's ask your dad if we can sponge

more money off of him.

We'll pay him back.

- Yeah. Like we paid him back the last time

and the time before that.

My credit line is shot.

- I got it.

We've never charged anybody to get in our parties.

Let's have a little fundraiser hellraiser.

We charge three dollars a piece and everybody will come.

- Well, I hate to charge people for a party.

- Screw it, Kurt.

Man, let's do it.

- Jack?

- It's our only choice.

- Hanks, you're in charge. Meeting adjourned.

- What? Man, this isn't fair!

I burned up all my brains just thinking up the idea,

now I gotta do all the manual labor?

Is anybody gonna help me with this? This is bullshit.

- Hey, Melanie called about an hour ago.

- Ah, shit. I'm supposed to call her.

I'll just go pick her up.

Jack, I'll give you a ride.

- Cool.

- Jack, you really think National

will take our fraternity away?

- Man, don't even worry about it.

We'll make lots of money at the party.

So what are you and Mel doing today?

- I think we'll just go to the lake.

I'm just gotta spend some time with her.

You know how girls are.

- Yeah, I know how women can be.

Oh, so what are you trying to say?

I don't know women?

Thanks, Kurt. Thanks a lot.

(engine revving)

- [Mel] We should do this more often.

- Ah, you see, Mel, this isn't so bad.

- No, the sun feels great.

It's nice. And you look great.

Would you put some oil on my back?

- Sure.

(soft, romantic music)

(teenagers cheering)

- Mel, wait a minute!

(cheering)

- Yeah!

- Kurt, man, took care of everything.

The big party's tonight, we're gonna make a million.

- Hey, who's driving this boat?

- Hey, I am. I'm the designated driver.

- And he's doing a great job too.

- Mel, I had no idea these guys are gonna be here.

- Oh, man. Come on. Let's go. I don't need any beer here.

- Oh, yeah.

- Let's get out here.

- All right, let's go.

(cheering)

(singing "Gilligan's Island" theme)

- Mel! Wait.

- Let's go for a drive on the other side of the lake.

(upbeat rock music)

- What is it?

- That house. I've seen pictures of it.

It's the old Berber house.

- Kurt, I was talking.

Weren't you even listening to me?

Come on, let's look around.

(eerie music)

- God, it's spooky. Do you think anyone lives here?

- Let's go find out.

- This is a scary place.

- Locked.

- Damn!

Mel, I got an idea.

This would make a great haunted house

for a Sigma Phi fundraiser.

Yeah!

(suspenseful music)

(eerie music)

- Dang!

- You all right?

- I cut myself on that screen.

- Let me see.

Okay, we better have someone take a look at this.

- The Sigma Phis proudly present

the Fundraiser Hellraiser with... The Side!

(crowd cheering)

(rock music plays)

- Come on up, my little flock of chickens.

We love you, we love you.

Just don't forget your money.

Just don't forget your money. We got it all here.

Hot women and cold beer, baby. Yeah, head on in.

(rock music cont.)

(knocking)

May I help you?

- Yeah. Is this the Fundraiser Hellraiser?

- Do you have funds?

- Three a piece, right?

- Three dollars?!

- That's okay, I got it.

- Let's raise some hell, fellas.

But I don't have any change.

Raise some hell, fellas!

You know, this whole party was my idea.

What's your name?

- Donna.

Well, you must be real smart.

You're very perceptive, but mostly, I'm wealthy.

My daddy owns a money farm.

- A money farm?

- Yeah.

We grow $10 bills on the tree.

Pick 'em off every spring.

- Ah, that's baloney.

- No, it's money! Here's a 10.

But don't spend it for a couple of weeks. It's not ripe yet.

- You're a funny guy.

You wanna walk me home later?

- Oh, yeah!

(rock music cont.)

(cheering)

- So what's up with you and Kurt?

- Oh, we're just fine.

- Come on, Mel.

We've been friends for for what, seven weeks?

What's the scoop?

- Oh, it's this fraternity.

These guys mean more to him than I do.

- I'm telling you, that's the way it is with these guys.

The apes have been that way forever.

- But I love him and I wanna spend more time with him.

- You want my advice? Dump his ass. Just forget him.

Find somebody else. You're too young to be miserable.

And if he really gave a crap about you, he'd fight for you.

- Sally, I can't do that.

- Why not?

- Because we've been dating for six months.

- Dump him.

- But I don't think I --

- No, I think that you should dump him.

Look, he'll follow you.

Believe me, I know guys.

Turd heads.

(rock music playing)

- You're crying. Why are you crying?

- Kurt? We need to talk.

Don't you get it? Nothing has changed!

- Jack, take over.

- Can we come into the party?

- Are you girls over 18? I'm talking years, not days.

(indistinct chatter)

- [Together] Yes.

- Three dollars each.

Come on in.

- Hanks, how we doing?

- Oh, excellent.

Another 1,200 people and we got this thing lit.

- Hey, I need some money to buy a keg.

- Man, I just gave you $40 a few minutes ago.

- I know, but we need another keg.

- Every time we get ahead, we need another keg.

- I know that, Hanks.

But if we don't have beer, then the party will die down.

And if we don't have a party, then we can't make any money.

- Have a good time.

- Thanks, guy.

(cheering)

(foreboding music)

(knocking)

- Three dollars.

- I'm not here to party.

- Man, don't close us down.

We're just having a little fundraiser.

- And I want to help.

- Can you write us a check for 37 hundred?

- There's an abandoned house outside of town, near the lake.

Make a great haunted house.

- That's the Berber house. - Yes.

- Man, that place has been closed for years.

Nobody gets in.

- Here. This will get you in.

You may use it with my permission.

- Who are you?

- I'm a Sigma Phi, just like you.

- Brother. Gimme the shake.

- Did I remember? - Huh?

- That was the correct shake, wasn't it?

- Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was fine.

- I hope you make lots and lots of money.

- I didn't get your name, brother.

- Good luck, brother.

- Thanks. I'll tell the guys.

- Mel, wait, come back. Why you doing this?

- Man? What is her problem?

- I don't know. - Well, check this out.

Some dude just came by

and gave me the key to the Berber house.

- Hey, I was just out there today.

I was telling Listen and Jack

we ought to have a haunted house there.

- What a coinky-dink.

The guy that owns it said we could use the house.

This will solve our money problem forever.

- That place has been closed forever. How can we get in?

- I give you the key to Hell.

This will be a killer haunted house.

- Who was this guy?

- Man, he's alumni, but who cares anyway?

We'll go out there and set up a haunted house.

It's October, we'll just count the cash.

- And this guy didn't want anything?

- No. Sometimes people just like to do

nice things for other people.

Makes 'em feel good about themselves.

I learned that in Psychology 311.

- This is it.

(eerie music)

So this guy just walks up to you

and gives you a key to this house?

- That guy was full of shit, man.

That key is not gonna work.

- Man, that guy was for real.

He was spooky, but he was for real.

He's alumni. He wants us to make some money, fellas.

- I believe you, Hanks.

- So Kurt, I heard what Mel did last night.

How come she broke up with you?

- For one, we didn't break up.

She said she wanted some space, so I'm giving it to her.

- Oh, and you don't call that a breakup?

- Of course not.

- So what is she? Seeing somebody else?

- I don't know, maybe. It's fine with me.

- Well, maybe I'll take her out.

- Jiggle it, Jack. Play with it,

like you've been doing the last four weeks.

That's real effective.

- Voila.

- I am so glad he gave us the key!

Man, with some paint, some Lysol,

this would be a killer haunted house.

- Hell, screw the paint, man.

Just bring some people in here and let 'em stand around.

That'll be scary enough.

- No kidding.

I'm so scared, I gotta take a leak already.

- Man, I get the feeling some really scary shit

went on here at one time.

- This place is perfect. Kind of reminds me of myself.

- Well, I did it last night.

- I know, I heard.

- You know, I'm still not sure if it

was the right thing to do.

He's been under a lot of pressure, lately,

with this fundraising thing.

- Look, I'm telling you,

if he really loves you, he'll come back.

- Do you think so?

- I know so. Trust me.

Do you know where they are right now?

- Where?

- They're at the Berber house.

Some guy came by last night, gave them a key,

and told 'em they could have a haunted house

in order to raise the money.

- Maybe if everything goes well,

then Kurt will have more time for me.

- I'm sure he will, but he's not the only guy around.

Yeah, I'm finding that out.

(cheering)

- Zip it, zip it, zip it, zip it!

Welcome to Hell, my friends.

- Nails? - Nails!

- Paint? - Paint!

- And most important, beer!

(cheering)

What more could a guy ask for?

- [Sheriff] Permission!

- Who invited him?

- Hi, Sheriff!

- Just what in the hell

are all of you doing out here anyway?

- We're just having a little fundraiser haunted house

for the community.

- You do have permission to be here, don't you?

- Oh, yes, sir. We've got the key. That's permission.

- A key? A key to the Berber house?

Who the hell would give you a key to this place?

- Well, it fits the lock.

- You getting smart with me, frat boy?

- Oh, no, sir. I'm not a smart person.

- Fraternity project, huh?

You know, I know how these things can get outta hand,

especially when it's a Sigma Phi project.

That's why I'm gonna keep an eye on each

and every one of you the whole time you're out here,

and frat boy, don't mess with me on this one.

- Let's do it!

(cheering)

♪ In a haunted house, on a haunted 'Ween ♪

♪ It's the biggest party you've ever seen ♪

♪ Gonna raise some hell, gonna lose control ♪

♪ We're just dying to start the show ♪

♪ We're just dying to start the show ♪

♪ In a haunted house, on a haunted 'Ween ♪

♪ He'll let us wait to hear you scream ♪

♪ It's well rehearsed, he likes his role ♪

♪ Someone's dying to start the show ♪

♪ Someone's dying to start the show ♪

(rock music)

♪ In a haunted house on a haunted 'Ween ♪

♪ It's the biggest party that's ever been ♪

♪ It's time for rocking heads to roll ♪

♪ We're just dying to start the show ♪

♪ We're all just dying to start the show ♪

♪ Somebody's dying to start the show ♪

♪ Somebody's dying to start the show ♪

♪ Somebody's dying to start the show ♪

♪ Somebody's dying to start the show ♪

- Okay. Who ordered the pizza?

- I'm so sorry. Just put it over there.

We'll get to 'em.

(group chatting)

- [Teenager] "Free Bird," man.

- What song is it y'all want to hear?

- [Teenager] "Free Bird."

♪ If I leave here tomorrow ♪

♪ Would you still remember me? ♪

- That's all I know.

(laughing)

I got one.

(eerie music)

♪ Well, I don't know why I keep on believing ♪

♪ That she loves me when I know it's not true ♪

♪ Maybe my leaving ♪

♪ Would be the thing to do ♪

♪ But my rose colored glasses ♪

♪ That I'm looking through ♪

♪ Show me the beauty ♪

♪ And hide all the truth ♪

(cheering)

- I've got a great idea. Let's tell ghost stories.

- Tell us a true story.

- Okay. Well, y'all know my daddy's the sheriff.

(everyone boos)

Come on, you guys. I'm serious.

Well, anyway, about 20 years ago, on this very property,

a little girl was murdered in that haunted house.

- [Teenager] Come on!

- Hey, I'm serious.

Well, this house used to be a great place

for families to go,

but one night, they found a little girl

in one of those rooms.

They found her head cut off

and a monster mask laying beside it.

Blood was everywhere.

- People get murdered all the time.

- I'm not finished, butthead.

Anyway, the mother who owned this house

disappeared that night with a little boy.

And no one's heard from him since.

- [Hanks] Maybe he got murdered too?

- Or maybe he's the one that killed the little girl.

And is still on the loose.

- Now that is scary.

- Well, my daddy says the little boy did it.

He talked to a lot of people that night.

Said the little boy was really weird.

He was into monsters and all that creepy stuff.

- Well, I don't believe any of it.

I mean, I think the girl cut her own head off.

- [Crowd] Right.

- And now, she's trying to pin the rap on the little boy.

(laughing)

- Nobody would cut their own head off.

- Well, speaking of head...

Let's go swimming.

- I don't have my suit.

I don't wanna go swimming with your swimsuit, Joanne.

Well, in that case...

(crowd cheering)

We'll be at the lake if anybody needs us.

So you wanna go for a little dip?

- Well, I didn't bring my suit.

- You don't see Flipper wearing no suit.

- Well, I'm not Flipper.

And anyway, we've got class tomorrow.

Why don't we just sit here and enjoy the fire?

- Okay.

- So does anybody want another beer?

- [Crowd] Yeah.

- Joanne, this is my favorite part of every movie.

- Oh, you like this?

Are you sure you wanna go swimming? It's probably cold.

Well, sure, I'm sure. I mean, aren't you sure?

- Well, sure, I'm sure.

I just wanted to make sure you were sure.

- Sure.

- I thought you said you wanted to go swimming.

- I do, but...

(foreboding music)

(eerie music)

- Ferris, what are you doing? I'm cold!

Come make me warm again.

Ferris, I'm freezing.

(eerie music)

I'm ready for you.

Ferris, if you don't get out here in three seconds,

I'm going to freeze to death!

I said I was ready for you, Ferris.

Ferris?

(neck snapping loudly)

- One night only.

Sigma Phi house. Be there.

- Hey, come to the haunted house.

- Be really scary.

- One night only.

- It's scary. Come to the haunted house tonight.

- Scare your friends.

- Signa Phi's haunted house. Be there.

- [Hanks] Come two, come all to the haunted house!

We got free admission, we got free parking.

Only five dollars!

- Man, Hanks, I'm really pumped.

This will be enough to cover that bill for Nationals.

- Here you go.

Welcome to the House of Horror.

- We'll see you there. You know, this whole thing

is just really weird though, don't you think?

- What do you mean?

- Well, the whole thing. This guy comes over

and gives us permission to use the house, the keys.

It's all so easy.

- Man, look at it this way.

You're some poor slob bum, laying in the gutter.

You got that drool coming outta your mouth

and some lady gives you a five dollar bill.

You'll be the type of person to send her a thank you note!

Yeah. You always have a way

of putting things in the proper perspective.

- I tell you something that's weird, though.

Joanne and Ferris never came back from the lake last night.

- They didn't?

- No. They went skinny dipping.

Maybe they weren't skinny enough.

- Man, you know how those two are.

They're like rabbits.

Hey, where'd Mel sleep?

Oh, she slept by Bentley.

But don't worry about it, they didn't do anything.

I kept my eyeball on 'em.

- Good.

- I see a couple of things I need to attend to, Junior.

We'll see you later.

- Alright.

- Hey, the house looks great.

- Yeah, thanks for your help.

- Are you mad at me?

- Why? Should I be?

- I don't know. You seem like you don't wanna talk to me.

- Well, I thought I was giving you the space you wanted.

Why don't you go talk to Bentley?

- Well, maybe I'll just do more than talk.

(ominous music)

- What would it cost to take a cab from New York City

to Los Angeles?

Joe?

- $5,000?

- [Host] Is it 5,000, 500 or 55,000? Julie?

- [Julie] From here to New York?

5,000.

- [Host] 5,000. John, what do you think?

- [John] 5,000.

- [Host] At current rates, a cross country cab fare

would be more like 5,000.

- [Host] Julie gets to spin, John gets four,

Julie gets three.

- So how are you and Mel getting along?

- [Host] What position do you play in baseball?

- Hey, I don't even wanna get into

this whole thing with you, Kurt.

- Well, you're right in the middle of it.

Like it or not.

- Kurt, no offense, but she told me the whole story.

You don't pay enough attention to her.

- You listen to me, you little bastard.

She's confused and she just needs some room to think.

So why don't you just back off?

- You're right. You're absolutely right.

I wasn't gonna do anything.

But now?

Now, I think I'll bone her.

- Man. You're not even worth it.

- [Host] Well, you didn't buzz in,

you didn't get an answer in there.

(suspenseful music)

- How many?

- Three.

- Yeah.

Comfy?

(giggling)

About the stowaways.

- Oh, ah,

I didn't even know they're back there.

Five.

- 25.

- That's a lot of money, isn't it?

But you're gonna see some things tonight

you have never, ever seen.

- Hey, Hanks, how we doing?

- Unbelievable, man.

We should have a haunted house every week.

- Excellent, Hanks, keep it up.

- Keeping it up is no problem.

(crowd chatting)

- Is this gonna be one of them really scary,

scary haunted houses?

- Yes. Yes it is.

- It better be.

(eerie music)

- Welcome to Hauntedween!

Chills, thrills and kills are on tonight's agenda.

- Yo. So how are things going?

- Man, I have never seen more girlies

in one place in my life,

but I wanna be inside on the wall of hands, man.

- Hey, dudes. Three girls.

- [Loud Speaker] Stand against the wall.

(girls screaming)

(girl screaming)

- [Loud Speaker] Code red, code red.

Doctor Slasher, please return to ER.

- Doctor, I'm dying over here!

- Screaming again!

Screaming makes me tense and I lose my patience!

Anybody need a wart burned off?

(laughing)

So I make a few mistakes, it's a medical practice!

- [Loud Speaker] Code blue! Doctor Slasher,

please report to CCU!

- Next?

(laughing)

- I've got to go to the bathroom.

Can you guys handle the next group?

- Sure, we'll handle them. (laughing)

- Cute. Real cute.

(tense music)

(eerie music)

- Ladies? Care to join us?

Decisions, decisions!

Sit and spin!

How's your boyfriend? (laughs)

What about you?

You ready to get down? - Yeah.

- You gonna come down? Shut up!

You ready to come out? You ready to come out?

A little close there, huh, buddy?

Close there, huh?

(laughing)

Hey, are you about ready for a beer?

- That'd be great.

- Get me one too.

- Cool. I'll be right back.

- The shit we go through for these guys.

- Listen! Man, this thing is really going great!

- Hell yeah, man! Bet you we've made enough money already.

- Beautiful.

- Well, thank you brother. Nice mask.

(eerie music)

- You know, this haunted house stuff is hard work.

- That it is.

Look, this isn't very private.

I think everyone's got this under control.

Why don't we slip outside?

- Okay.

- My van's parked out back.

Meet me there. 10 minutes.

- What am I doing?

- [Teenager] How do we get out of here?

- Hey, look, there's more.

(eerie music)

- [Crowd] This is awesome!

Look at that.

(crowd conversing)

This is awesome.

- Man, it looks so real.

- Would you help us!?

This isn't part of the house! This guy is a killer!

This is for real!

- She's a good actress. She can really act.

- She is good.

It looks so real.

(chainsaw whirring)

(crowd shouting)

(girl screaming)

(crowd cheering)

(screaming)

- Oh, God! No!

Don't you people get this?

This isn't fake!

Please, don't let him kill me!

(crowd cheering)

(cheering continues)

- Batter up, dude!

Strike one!

Strike two!

Take his head off!

(crowd applauding)

- Welcome. (dramatic cackling)

- Maybe it's time we go through.

- Sounds like too much fun.

- That was good.

- That was the scariest haunted house I've ever seen.

- Yeah, that kill room. God, that was really scary. Woo.

- That gave me a mild cardial infarction.

(eerie music)

(metal rattling)

(country music playing)

(suspenseful music)

- What the hell?

- Ah! (laughing)

Wow, I found this cool mask in the house.

- Man, you scared the shit outta me!

- Hey, aren't you supposed to be at the house?

- I'm taking a little break. Mel's coming out to join me.

- Mel!

You and Mel got something going?

- Not with you around! Dickhead.

Get outta here.

- Well, okay, but you owe me a good story later.

- Asshole.

(eerie music)

(woman screaming)

- Jack, I gotta go. I'll see you later.

- You don't wanna see the rest of the house?

- I've got to take care of something.

Excuse me, pardon me.

- Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Mel, wait a minute. I want to talk to you.

- I didn't think we had anything to talk about.

- Look, I've been trying to give you the space you wanted.

- And I appreciate that. And I figured some things out.

- Me too. I love you.

- You mean it?

- I do. I really do.

(soft, romantic music)

- Sally was right. She told me you'd chase me.

- I just didn't know how much you meant to me

until I thought I'd lost you.

- Kurt. you never lost me. You had me the whole time.

You just didn't know it.

(eerie music)

(crowd chatting)

(crickets chirping)

- Whoo!

This being my idea and all,

I should at least get to see the mama.

(crowd exclaiming)

- Hang him! Let him hang! Yeah!

(crowd cheering)

- Who are you? What are you doing?

Bastard!

(screaming)

Slice her!

Yeah, come on, slice her up!

(screaming)

- No!

No!

(screaming)

Son of a bitch!

(crowd cheering)

(electricity buzzing)

- It sounds like a commotion up there.

- I don't know, let's go see.

- [Loud Speaker] Stop. Stand against the wall.

(giggling)

(crowd cheering)

- Hang him! Let him hang! Yeah!

- Stop him!

Stop him! He's killing us! This is real!

You bastard! You prick!

(crowd cheering)

- Help us!

Please, please help us.

(electricity buzzing)

(eerie music)

- No! This isn't part of the house!

- Oh my God, he's really killing them!

(crowd screaming)

(tense, propulsive music)

- Jack, get him outta here.

- Billy, are you okay?

- Hey, look, everybody, there's another room! Come on!

- Get out! Everybody, get out!

- Mel, you all right? Mel?

(tense, propulsive music) (crowd screaming)

- God, Hanks, you okay?

- I got him.

I cooked him like one of mama's home cooked biscuits.

Son of a bitch!

(tense, propulsive music)

- You are gonna be fine, Mel.

- I love you, Kurt.

- I know, I know.

(crowd screaming)

- He killed them! They're dead!

- My God, he's still alive!

- Bastard.

You're gonna be fine, Mel.

(tense, propulsive music)

(gun fires)

(explosion booming)

(fire sizzling)

(engine revving)

♪ In a haunted house, on a Hauntedween ♪

♪ It's the biggest party you've ever seen ♪

♪ Gonna raise some hell, gonna lose control ♪

♪ We're just dying to start the show ♪

♪ We're just dying to start the show ♪

♪ In a haunted house, on a Hauntedween ♪

♪ Let us wait to hear you scream ♪

♪ He's well rehearsed, he likes his role ♪

♪ Someone's dying to start the show ♪

♪ Someone's dying to start the show ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ In a haunted house, on a Hauntedween ♪

♪ It's the biggest party that's ever been ♪

♪ It's time for rocking heads to roll ♪

♪ We're just dying to start the show ♪

♪ We're all just dying to start the show ♪

♪ Somebody's dying to start the show ♪

♪ Somebody's dying to start the show ♪

♪ Somebody's dying to start the show ♪

♪ Somebody's dying to start the show ♪

(upbeat music)

(eerie music)

(eerie music continues)

(eerie music continues)