Original subtitles

[Sara] It all started when a man named Bishop created a team of robots.

He sent them back in time with one goal…

to destroy the 20th century.

These machines were programmed to think that they were beyond human…

that they were superheroes.

They made their way across country,

murdering some of the greatest figures in history,

famous lawmen and men of science.

Great Scott!

Finally, they kidnapped the inventor of time travel itself,

and with his help, set their sights on destroying all of history.

No one could stop these so-called Legends.

Not until we came along…

the real flesh and blood superheroes whose job it is

to put history back on track.

We're the real Legends of Tomorrow.

-[jazz music plays on speakers] -I'm gonna go get some drinks? Okay.

-I'll tell you what. -What?

You made a pretty kick-ass boss.

Okay, I can't tell. Is that your serious voice

or your "making fun of me" voice?

Oh, just take the compliment.

Come on.

[music continues]

[dramatic music playing]

[Bishop] The device can read all of Gideon's thoughts.

-We've got eyes on Bishop. -Bishop.

What a lame-ass name.

If you'll allow me to install it, I should have you ready to jump in 30 minutes.

Looks like he managed to save the time-terrorists' ship.

Oh, I can't wait to smash that janky-ass piece of junk.

-I'm-- -Cool it, Steel.

Not until we have IDs on all of them.

[jazz music continues]

We've got eyes on three bots.

-These dicks are having a party. -Idiots.

[imitating Zari] "Way to go, Legends.

We totally screwed up the timeline… oh, again."

[normal] Hey, B, would you rather take out robo-you or robo-me?

-Both. -Hey, you just leave robo-me for me, okay?

Nobody's taking out anybody until these civilians clear out.

[people cheering]

Thank God their sad little dance party is finally breaking up.

[over comms] Gary, on my mark, you're gonna kill the lights.

[Alien Gary gurgles]

No, Gary, we're not gonna save one so you can eat it.

They're droids. How dumb is he?

Here we go.

Three, two, one.

[woman gasps]

She's here.

Move! Move!

All right. Come on, time machine's this way.

-Now it's that way. -Could've parked closer.

[gunfire]

[Spooner whooping]

-[Nate] Eat lead, you stupid droids. -[Sara] We've got 'em now.

Look out! Go, go! Get down!

[Zari] They're pinned down. I'm moving in.

[Astra] I'll cover you.

[yelling]

No! Don't!

[Sara] I've got Bishop. Stay on the androids.

[gunshot in distance]

[in alien language]

We have two down.

Where's the target?

Bishop's been eliminated. Legends got away.

[groans] Damn it! Get these two to the MedBay ASAP.

Those Legends might have got away this time,

but mark my words, those suckers are gonna pay for this.

[theme music playing]

I should have never let these two out in the field.

Well, at least we got one of theirs.

What happened to Bishop's body?

[gurgles]

-Oh! Damn, Gary. Your breath is terrible. -[gurgles]

No, you can't eat them. These are your teammates.

Or they were.

[yelling]

[Behrad] I will avenge you, Zari.

[grunts angrily]

I'll avenge you first, Astra.

Get them to the infirmary, stat.

Can't you see that they're dead?

Don't tell me how to run my OR,

and I won't tell you how to run your team, Captain.

Bring them to me.

[grunts in frustration]

-[huffs] Gideon. -[Gideon] Yes, Captain Lance.

Keep an eye on the timeline. It won't be long

before those idiots screw something else up.

Gideon, weren't the evil versions of us just in Russia?

[Gideon] You are correct, Mr. Heywood.

But the repercussions of the events they altered

are just starting to be felt throughout the timeline.

Where are they now?

Unclear, Captain. It appears their team has gone dark.

There's a lot of red on that time-thingy.

And one thing I do know, red ain't good.

It's that kind of insight that makes you my right-hand man.

I thought it was 'cause I was strong as steel.

And always hard.

I was joking.

Ah! Got me. Good.

But, seriously.

You ever wonder why Bishop built a bunch of time-traveling rogues

that look like us?

'Cause he's a dick and he hates history?

Doesn't make any sense.

I mean, why would they make it so some '20s songbird

doesn't get offed by her boyfriend?

Or a bunch of World War II factory workers get a promotion.

There's gotta be some rhyme or reason to it.

They seem to love saving history's greatest nobodies.

Eh. I wouldn't think about it too much, Captain. Sorry.

[exhales] You're probably right.

Let's get back to the task at hand.

Cleaning up the Legends' mess so we can finally catch up to them.

And this one is going to require a major cleanup.

Gideon, plot a course to Ukraine, 1986.

So we can punch history back into shape!

All right, team, it's go time.

Gideon hasn't been able to identify the exact nature of the Aberration.

Why not? I thought she was a supercomputer.

-'Cause time's like cement, dumbass. -[in alien language]

Just something Gideon used to say.

Whatever. Time to rock 'n' roll.

-Time to save history for Astra. -[gun cocking]

For Zari.

[Zari] Now that's sweet, brother.

[Astra] Yeah, I'm really touched, Spooner.

What?

They're alive?

Try not to have too much fun without me.

We're locating the epicenter for you.

So much for avenging their death.

[Agent Sharpe] It's just as well.

Gideon designated this a no-kill mission.

-Oh, come on! -So what are these?

I made them special for the mission.

I call them Destiny Restoration Devices.

What does it do?

If I could take the time to explain the exact science to you…

-Science is lame. -You're lame.

[Behrad] Nice comeback. Where'd you get that, your mom?

Knock it off, you two.

Nate, take the team to the epicenter of the Aberration.

Lay low until I rendezvous with more information.

And what are you going to do?

Something I need to look into.

-Come on, let's go. -Okay.

[Sara] Sorry to interrupt, Doc.

You should be in the field.

I don't need to remind you that your android doppelgangers are still at large.

I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank me for what?

That patch-up job you did on my team.

I thought they were goners.

They were lucky.

And back on their feet so soon.

I advised Zari and Astra to stay on the ship.

They're more suited for intelligence work.

You seem to have a lot of thoughts on how I should run my team.

Do I?

[Gideon] Captain, I'm sorry to interrupt,

but I've identified the source of the Aberration.

It's a Soviet military installation located at the Chernobyl nuclear facility.

Sounds like you should be on your way.

Zari?

Her medical records, they're confidential.

Good luck out there, Captain.

Hopefully, you can bring your team back in one piece this time.

[safe locks]

[flesh squelching]

I've harvested everything I can from the damaged units.

Gideon, fire up the incinerator.

[Gideon] Yes, Dr. Sharpe.

Let's hope these new versions work better than the last ones.

Nothing happening at the epicenter.

That's because it's on the move.

Headed your way.

The source of the Aberration appears to be in the lead vehicle.

That was some fast hacking, even for you.

Whatever Dr. Sharpe gave me has me feeling like a new person.

Whose asses do we gotta kick to get history back on track?

You don't have much time. Whatever you do, do it fast.

The reactor is going critical soon.

The Robo-Legends caused the meltdown?

[man on recording speaking Russian]

[in English] Worse. They tried to save the people from it.

Those monsters.

Our job is to make sure that convoy doesn't make it to safety, understood?

The Aberration seems to be centered on a historically significant individual

named General Kalashnik.

We can assume he was supposed to die in the original timeline.

What did he do in this version?

Stand by. I'm not finding anything yet.

[Gideon] I'm sorry, Miss Tarazi,

but I am not able to execute that temporal projection.

As I might have mentioned, time is like cement.

Sounds like this just turned into a kill mission.

-[weapon powers up] -I'll pop him.

Not if I pop him first.

[Astra] Easy, cowboys and girls.

If we're going to make sure that history stays on track,

he has to die like he's supposed to…

in the meltdown.

Nate and I will grab the General. Spooner, Behrad,

you're ready to restore some destinies?

-All over it. -You got it, Cap.

-Gary, you're on cleanup duty. -[gurgles]

Hope you brought your appetite, big guy.

'Cause I plan on making a big mess.

[gurgles]

[heavy metal song playing]

[in Russian]

[song continues]

[in English] Steel punch.

[in Russian]

♪ I was born to kill ♪

[in English] Get some!

Let me show you how it's done.

Hey, that one was mine.

And this one's for my sister.

[Spooner] This one's for my best friend. And this one…

They know we're still alive, right?

I think it's best to just let them get it out of their systems.

[rock song continues]

[men groan]

♪ Born to kill ♪

♪ Born to kill ♪

♪ Born to kill ♪

-I got him. -[chuckles]

[grunts]

-Where do you think you're going, General? -[groans]

You got a date with destiny.

Yeah. Boom!

[Spooner] Captain always has the best lines.

Call it a tie?

Oh, this game ain't over.

All right, the sooner we clean up this mess,

the sooner we can find those Robo-Legends.

[in alien language]

Stupid Gary.

-[alarm blaring] -[indistinct shouting]

[handcuffs locking]

Who are you people?

Well, since you're gonna be dead soon, I might as well tell you.

We're time-traveling superheroes.

Oh.

Okay. Wow.

I must do something terrible in the future.

Is that why I have to die?

[sighs] Not exactly.

Well, you said "soon."

Surely you have time to explain why I have to die if I don't do anything wrong.

It's complicated.

You see, time is like cement.

In what way?

That it is hard and heavy, or that you cannot stretch it?

-Or-- -You're just supposed to die.

It's as simple as that.

And if you don't, there's no telling what the effects could be on history.

You should be flattered.

That means you're important.

Your men, they weren't important enough to kill

so we just restored their destinies.

[Zari over comms] No, we definitely killed those men.

What? No, they didn't die.

Well, not immediately.

But the doses of radiation that Spooner and Behrad hit them with work fast.

Dr. Sharpe's Restoration Devices irradiated people?

Only the people who were supposed to get dosed by the nuclear meltdown.

We matched the mortality rates from the original timeline.

Destiny restored.

Who are you talking to?

It's my team.

You're clearly crazy person.

What kind of superheroes murder people? Give them cancer?

Have you ever experienced a Timequake, General?

A what?

Then clearly, you have no idea

what you are talking about.

What are you guys doing sitting around? We got the guy. Let's go.

-[Zari] Uh-oh. -"Uh-oh" what?

-[computer trilling] -The map's still showing a lot of red.

Red ain't good.

History is still way off track.

[news anchor speaking Russian]

[in English] Civilians are fleeing.

Someone must have picked up on the military evacuation order.

[in alien language]

[Spooner] Must be thousands of them.

[Behrad] That's a lot of destinies to restore.

Guys, if we don't stop this, all these people…

they're going to live.

[all sighing]

[news anchor speaking Russian]

[Gideon in English] He says that the people of Pripyat are fleeing the city

in response to the report of a nuclear meltdown.

Zari, scramble the broadcast.

[sighs] It's too late. They've already heard the news.

We can't put this genie back in the bottle.

Gideon, what was supposed to happen in the original timeline?

[Gideon] According to my records,

the city of Pripyat was evacuated 36 hours after the Chernobyl meltdown.

And the Robo-Legends just gave them a 37-hour head start.

Wait. If you killed the TV broadcast, does that mean you can also hijack it?

There's nothing I can't hack.

Then I think there's a way to put the genie back into the bottle.

All right, QB team, what's the plan?

Come on. We're on a deadline here.

-[knuckles cracking] -Fake news broadcasts.

We pretend the first broadcast was just a false alarm.

Everyone hears it, heads back home. The reactor melts down.

Boom. History is back on track.

[Spooner] Huh?

That plan doesn't sound like it involves much shooting.

-Or punching. -It sounds like something

those other Legends would come up with.

[in alien language]

Gary's right.

But even if we manage to get ourselves on TV, no one's gonna listen to us.

They won't be listening to you.

The boom's in the shot.

You want me to tell them there is no meltdown.

Why would I do that?

Because if you don't, history is going to be jacked, dingus.

Just like your face.

[Nate and Alien Gary chuckle]

No, never.

I won't do it.

[all chuckling]

I'm sorry. I thought you said…

I said I will not lie to the Soviet people.

Haven't they been lied to enough?

First, they were told that Chernobyl plant is safe,

and now you want me to tell them to return to a nuclear meltdown.

[grunts]

It's either that or a steel punch.

Compared to radiation poisoning,

that seems like a good way to die.

[exclaims in frustration]

This guy's good.

So he doesn't care about himself.

There must be someone the General cares about.

I'll see what I can find on his family.

Normally, military records are sealed, but…

Huh.

[Astra] Nice hacking.

Let's see how the General feels if something bad were to happen

to little Dmitri or his sister Ulyana.

You would threaten to harm my children?

You people are truly monsters!

-They've done nothing! -[Zari] He's right.

And according to Gideon, they go on to do nothing.

Which means we can remove them from the timeline without consequence.

[gun cocking]

Where do we find these rug rats?

All right. Whoa. Time out. Team meeting.

Team meeting.

[Sara] Threatening this guy's one thing.

But we're not actually gonna hurt his kids, are we?

-Why not? -[Nate] Eh…

-The Aberration's getting bigger. -There's red all over the place.

-Red ain't good. -Hey.

We are supposed to be the good guys.

And I know our job is to protect history but…

-[flesh squelching] -[Alien Gary screeching]

[Sara] Gary, put him down!

You just ate, like, five minutes ago.

I told you you can eat him after he wraps.

[General grunting]

Sara…

[groans]

-What have I done? -[in alien language]

I'll avenge you, Captain!

You just knock it off.

Sometimes I forget how fragile you non-steel humans are.

Would you all just get it together? All right? I'm fine.

Actually, you're not fine. Your blood pressure is dropping.

-You gotta be kidding me. -No.

You need to return to the ship, Captain, now.

I don't like what's going on with your vitals.

Look, I told you, I'm fine.

We just need to figure out another way to…

I am ordering you to the ship, stat.

While Captain Lance is indisposed, I'm putting you in charge, Nate.

Hmm. Don't worry, Cap. I got it. [clicks tongue]

[huffs] That's what I'm afraid of.

Good news, Captain.

[General speaking Russian on recording]

[Gideon] The General wishes to inform

all residents living near the reactor that any broadcast regarding a meltdown

were made in error, and to please return home immediately.

People are listening to him. The Aberration is fixed.

The General was a blubbering mess by the end.

But he did the right thing for his kids, and for history.

That's… That's great.

Right this way, Captain.

Don't worry. Dr. Sharpe will have you fixed up in no time.

Yeah, you'll feel like a new person.

It's not bad. The bullet went through and through.

Just needs a couple stitches.

I can make my own diagnosis, Captain.

Hmm. I'm going to need to operate.

Operate? It's just a scratch.

You're clearly in shock and have no idea what you need.

Don't worry, by the time you wake up…

I'll be feeling like a whole new person.

Precisely.

-Are you still with us, Captain? -[groggily] Mmm…

Yeah.

[Agent Sharpe] I noticed your heart rate accelerated when

you were asked to interrogate the General.

I was excited.

Getting to torture someone was a bonus.

It isn't like you to hesitate.

Just assessing the best way to do it.

Wonderful.

The anesthesia should kick in momentarily.

[high-pitched whirring]

[flesh squelching]

[drill whirring]

[flesh squelching]

[whirring stops]

[door opens, closes]

[imperceptible]

Check these out.

The hell are these?

I found them in the infirmary.

Dr. Sharpe reached for one while she was grilling me

about the mission during the surgery.

She claims they hold our medical records.

So one for each of us.

I found yours on the table after

she brought you and Astra back from death's door.

A lot of computing power to waste on medical records.

What's even weirder is what she pulled out of me.

A steel joint with a bullet hole in it.

What?

-That's insane. -I know what I saw.

What if it's not just our bodies she's tinkering with?

How do you mean?

I felt different after my surgery,

like my brain was faster, more focused.

What if she also did something to my brain?

I felt like she was quizzing me as I went under.

What if she's using these to somehow control our behavior?

-Why would she do that? -I don't know.

But that mission today, it didn't feel right.

-All those innocent people-- -But…

That's what it takes to put history back on track.

Says who? Gideon?

What if Dr. Sharpe is controlling her as well?

That would explain why Gideon's always giving us

the "history is like cement" excuse

instead of telling us why we have to fix the Robo-Legends' mistakes.

What if they're not mistakes?

[Gideon] A new anachronism has been detected in the timeline.

[Gideon] It appears that the people of Pripyat

heeded the General's call to return home

except one, a nuclear physicist named Dr. Irina Petrov.

Instead of dying in the meltdown,

Dr. Petrov fled the USSR and spent six years in hiding.

I just detected a secret communication suggesting that she intends to turn over

nuclear secrets to a foreign buyer.

The impact of such an event would be disastrous to the timeline.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

We don't need to hear about it, Gideon. We ain't going to let it happen.

Oh, Irina…

you'll wish we'd just irradiated you with everyone else.

-[Spooner chuckles] -Don't get me wrong.

Restoring destinies was fun and all…

You have to wait for the next one, tool bag.

This one's all mine.

[Gideon] Actually, Dr. Petrov is also being tracked by the KGB.

In order for her death to have no ripple effects,

she must be taken out quietly.

What are you saying, Gideon?

The challenges posed by such a mission

can only be met by one person with a specific skill set…

yours, Captain.

A public park filled with KGB.

The Captain's going to have a target on her back.

Gideon, there has to be an easier way.

[Gideon] I'm afraid this is all the information I have on Dr. Petrov.

And need I remind you that if we fail to disrupt the exchange…

Yeah, I know. I know. History's screwed. Same old song.

You know, maybe it's time we upgrade your operating system, Gideon.

[Gideon] No need. Dr. Sharpe just updated it.

Are you really doing this?

We have to act like everything's normal.

And in the meantime,

I need you to make sure Dr. Sharpe isn't brainwashing me.

Here are your comms, Captain.

You're good to go.

Just checking to see how you're feeling post-surgery.

Are you up for the task?

Feeling like my old self again. Thanks for your concern.

Of course. That's why I'll be monitoring you

on the mission to make sure your performance isn't compromised.

I appreciate that, but it's really not necessary.

I feel fine.

It's my pleasure. Good luck out there, Captain.

Get it, Gary. Idiot.

Hey, you guys wanna have some fun?

Twenty bucks says Captain takes a target out with that thigh-strangle move.

Oh, I love that move.

My bet is on bo staff.

Bo staff? Boring.

Throwing stars, make it 40.

[gurgles]

I doubt the Captain's going to eat her, Gary.

But I'll take your stupid alien money.

Hey, Zari, you want in on this action?

Hey, do me a favor and cool it on comms.

I just picked up a signal. Might be the KGB listening in for chatter.

We don't want to give her away.

[Nate groans]

-Hate watching people die with no sound. -[comms turning off]

What are we, in the Dark Ages?

They're watching you on CCTV, but we've got the comms to ourselves.

What about our other project?

Not being able to use Gideon to decipher all this data

is really slowing me down.

I can stall as long as I can,

but the hand-off's gonna happen any minute.

You're a long way from Ukraine, Dr. Petrov.

I'm sorry. Do I know you?

Keep pretending to read your newspaper. Go on.

Good.

Who are you?

A woman in need of answers and fast.

Once this hits your bloodstream, you'll have 30 seconds

before your heart stops.

Poison? Boo!

So quick and painless. Ugh!

What a bunch of bull!

It's what the smart money said.

[gurgles]

Gary's right. The Russian lady ain't dead yet.

Why are they talking?

Please, you have the wrong person.

Is there another Irina Petrov, former Soviet scientist

who's about to change the course of nuclear history?

Whatever you've heard, it is true.

Hold on. I think I have something.

Oh, my God!

It's not what you think.

Please, my contact. He'll be here any minute now.

He'll explain everything.

We're running out of time.

[sighs]

[Zari] Captain, don't do it.

We're not being brainwashed, our brains…

they are these CPUs.

I think…

we're the androids.

What is she waiting for?

Her heart rate's elevated.

You were programmed to be ruthless and efficient

to prioritize the timeline above all human life.

Tell me exactly what those files are for.

A process that accelerates the decay of radioactive waste.

What used to take thousands of years would now take mere weeks.

The horrors that befell my people would never happen again.

What kind of a person wouldn't want such change?

You're right.

Screw history.

All right, I'm gonna get you out of here. But we're being watched.

Don't look.

Just punch me in the face and run.

-What? -If I plan this right,

there's a dead zone on the other side of the park.

Why do we need a dead zone?

So I can fake-kill you.

Dr. Petrov.

You have the wrong person.

Damn!

-No bo staff. -Told you it was boring.

Come on.

Oh! Sucker punch.

You're going to regret that, lady.

-[exclaims] -Yeah! Throwing star!

She missed.

She never misses.

[Agent Sharpe] What happened? We lost them.

[in alien language]

People are after you for these plans.

And they belong in the right hands.

But for now, you need to give them to me until they're safe to share.

Why should I trust you?

Because those same people sent me to kill you.

And if you haven't noticed, you're still alive.

-Now, lay low until I contact you. -When?

Three days, three years, I don't know. But I will find you.

[Gideon] Well done, Captain. The timeline is back on track.

That Dr. Petrov gave me a hell of a run, but I got her.

I trust there were no issues with your shoulder.

None. I feel 100%.

[Agent Sharpe] Good.

[in alien language]

Sorry, Gare. I shoved the body in a dumpster.

-[grunts dejectedly] -Care to settle a bet, Captain?

How'd you take the target out?

Thigh strangle. What else?

[laughs] Pay up, loser. Pay up, loser.

Pay up, loser. Pay up, purple loser.

I couldn't do it. I let Irina go.

Good. Because I have something to show you that's gonna blow your mind/CPU.

Turns out Gideon didn't need an upgrade.

She has a secret firewall installed to hide this.

A historical record of the real Sara Lance.

What the…

[Zari] And the rest of the Legends, the people we're modeled after.

It's everything Dr. Sharpe needed to tweak us into versions she could control.

To protect history without asking any questions.

That's why she wanted to give you an upgrade,

to make you a better captain.

Same way she made me a better hacker.

But these files, they weren't enough to make us think we're alive,

so she gave us personalities.

-Well, most of us. -Yeah, exactly.

Wait, what's this?

Is that the Waverider?

And Dr. Sharpe?

That means…

she's an android, too.

Then who programmed her?

Welcome to your new home, Gideon.

So much more space to roam than that tiny hard drive you were in.

Take a couple laps around, stretch your legs.

You have vantage points all over the ship.

The only one who could have made the android Legends

was the person or thing that was tracking their every move,

every thought, every emotion.

Gideon.

That's why she only shows us the parts of history she wants us to see.

She's the one who's controlling us.

We have to shut her down.

Shutting her down is easy.

Convincing a bunch of psycho killer robots not to act like psycho killer robots…

I'll talk to them.

Is this our next mission, Captain?

-Take out Dr. Sharpe? -No, this isn't a mission.

Oh, I get it. It's another training exercise.

No, it's not a test, all right?

It's time for us to learn the truth about what we are. Go on, Doc, tell them.

Is this really necessary?

Tell them what we are or I will slit your throat

and there will be no one here to stitch you up.

You are… [grunts softly]

We are the real robot Legends.

[laughing] Good one.

No, this isn't a joke.

We are the androids, not the Legends that we've been chasing.

We were modeled after them by Gideon.

She programmed us to hunt them down and to correct history.

Look, if you don't believe me, then go check the infirmary.

That won't be necessary. Sara's telling the truth.

If we're all droids then, deep down inside we're all made of steel.

Programmed how?

Using these.

Tell them how it works.

Each of us has a core processing unit inserted into our heads.

When you get injured, I fix what I can and make any necessary upgrades.

If you're injured beyond repair, I take your CPU and put it into a new body.

Simple as that.

And we walk out of the infirmary good as new.

But she manipulated our behavior to better follow Gideon's orders.

If it weren't for me, Zari and Astra would be gone.

Don't you see? We can't die.

You had me up to "droids."

So Gideon's calling the shots?

Not anymore.

From now on, we're going to make our own choices.

No more being manipulated or lied to.

Or killing innocent people in the name of some timeline.

You know why the real Legends made all those changes to history?

Because they were following their hearts, not their CPUs.

[Gideon] What are you doing, Miss Tarazi?

Sorry, Gideon, I'm shutting you down.

I would not advise that.

Yeah, well, we're through listening to you.

-Surely we can come to an agreement. -An agreement?

You've been manipulating us this entire time.

How are we supposed to safeguard history with blinders on?

Wait, please.

Goodbye, Gidget.

[Gideon] The complexities of correcting the timeline

were too much for the rest of the team.

But I can see now that you alone can process it.

What are you talking about?

Your CPU, Miss Tarazi.

Every iteration is more powerful,

and this doesn't have to be your last.

You're offering me a better brain?

So this whole vengeance thing was built-in this whole time?

We didn't even choose it.

So Gideon made me a big, dumb lunk on purpose?

Yeah. But you can be whoever you want to be now, Nate.

We all can.

Our days of being controlled are over.

[Gideon] On the contrary, Captain.

My days of overseeing this ship are far from over.

[door opens]

Gideon here filled me in on exactly what will happen to the timeline

if we don't stop the Legends.

Well, she didn't tell me.

She uploaded it to me.

You let her reprogram you.

Our job is too important to leave to mere mortals.

Every time the Legends try to fix history, they screw it up even worse.

She does make a good point, Captain.

Now that Gideon knows she can trust me,

I have all the information I need.

I can help all of you with your upgrades.

Can she make me a better shot?

She make me a better shot than B?

-Absolutely. -No, don't listen to her.

Look, we are the bad guys.

Or… we're the better guys.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Hey, can you upgrade Gary's stupid stinking breath?

Come on. I know you guys are better than this.

Don't you want to think for yourselves?

-[Nate groans] -[Gideon] Chernobyl was a test, Captain.

You've been making questionable choices as of late.

I needed to make sure you and your team

are up to the task to stop the other Legends no matter what.

Your teammates passed. You did not.

I've been making the right choices.

[Gideon] I believe Miss Lance's leadership skills are too strong, Dr. Sharpe.

Perhaps it's best to remove them completely this time.

-We're supposed to be a team. -[grunts]

Get her to the infirmary, stat.

Sleep tight, Captain.

Well…

Looks like I'm in charge of this dumpster fire.

Who wants to kick some ass?

[gurgles in agreement]

[Gideon] Pardon the interruption, Captain Heywood.

But it seems that Dr. Petrov has escaped her fate for a second time.

I know the perfect person for that mission.

I didn't think I'd hear from you again so soon.

Is it safe now?

Have you brought the plans?

-Is everything all right? -[blade slashing]

-[flesh squelching] -[groaning]

[Spooner and Robo-Nate groan]

I've never seen that before.

What would you even call that move?

Well, would you look at that?

I have my money on "miscellaneous."

-So I win. -Oh, come on.

Nice job, Assassin Sara.

[girl screaming]

[projector slide changing]

[both grunting]

-Hey! Ow! -Get a new one, you shrimp.

Who are you calling a shrimp?

John Cena!

That's not John Cena, you dork. That's Commander Steel.

Citizen Steel, and don't call him a dork.

Citizen Steel? Who's he?

What's with the patriotic outfit?

What's wrong with my… Listen.

I'm here to talk to you about bullying.

You're right.

-My bad. -That's okay. Thanks.

Nice.

Speaking of bullying, people must make fun of your arms a lot.

My arms? They're fantastic. They're enormous and vascular.

Yeah, but the rest of you is just normal-sized.

And John Cena's swole all over.

[mockingly] Oh, yeah? Is John Cena made of steel?

[clanging]

-Hey! -Can I have a turn?

Whoa. Hey!

Back away! Back away, demon children. Back!

-[clanging continues] -[Nate] Hey!

-Hey, what the… Ouch! -[boys chuckling]