Original subtitles

(This drama is based on a true story.)

(The plot was adjusted for entertainment purposes only.)

(We have no intention to offend any careers, )

(encourage immoral sexual values, )

(or create a pessimistic disposition of a gender or a group of people.)

(We would like to apologize in advance for any misunderstandings.)

(Presents)

(Hot Love Issue)

She'll be depressed one day,

then manic the next.

It's worrying.

Dia was like that when she started suffering from depression as well.

Rin, you lost.

No, I didn't.

I didn't lose to you! I didn't!

I always assume things.

I'm insane,

so much so that Maew had to tell you to take me to a shrink.

Don't think I don't know what you've been talking about.

Rin!

Rin!

Rin.

Rin, are you hurt?

Rin.

Rin, why did you do that?

Come here.

Non.

Why do you love me?

Do you like my appearance,

body,

or personality?

Or are you just lonely?

Or do you not love me at all?

I love you.

I truly love you.

Then you should be able to tell me why you love me.

I...

I love all the things you do for me.

Everything you do

means a lot to me.

You love all the things

I do for you?

Listen.

Don't ever do that again.

Please don't leave me.

I'm begging you.

Don't do that again.

Or I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I...

I love all the things you do for me.

Everything you do

means a lot to me.

The things I do for him

are what Dia used to do for him.

This means he doesn't love me.

Dia's the one he loves.

Dia.

Please tell me what to do.

(Nadia, 1992-2020)

My first attempt to take my life

failed.

Ever since, Non has been asking me

why I don't love myself.

Why would I love myself

when Non, the man I love the most,

doesn't even love me?

I don't deserve

to stay alive.

Death...

The idea of death doesn't surface in the heat of the moment.

I've pondered it deeply.

Death is the only escape

that will free me...

and make Non happy.

(Nadia, 1992-2020)

Rin.

What are you doing?

Why are you still up?

I... I couldn't sleep,

so I started thinking about stuff.

Come on, let's go to bed. It's late.

Non.

Rin.

This is Dia's diary.

Why do you have it?

Why would you...

Rin.

Why won't you let Dia go?

Why?

Why won't I let Dia go?

I should be the one asking you that.

When will you finally stop thinking about her?

Do I need to remind you that I'm your girlfriend?

Listen, stop it.

I don't want to talk about this.

I'm tired of it.

Really?

You're tired of it?

Do you think I'm not tired of it?

Do you have any idea how tough it's been for me?

Do you?

I have to hold it in whenever you think about Dia.

I tried to transform myself to resemble Dia

so you would pay attention to me.

I didn't know.

Of course you didn't.

There's no way you would know

because you never cared about me.

Dia's always on your mind.

You think of her with every breath you take.

No, you are wrong.

Do I mean nothing to you at all?

- No. Rin, stop. - It's all her fault.

Rin, stop acting silly. Stop.

Rin, stop it.

Stop it, Rin.

- Rin, stop. - Non.

Tell me. Just tell me

- Rin, stop it. - what I have to do

to make you love me.

Rin.

Rin.

Listen to me.

It's all

in your head.

I love you for who you are.

Not because you remind me of Dia.

It's useless trying to resemble her.

It's useless?

Everything I've done is useless to you.

Rin.

All my efforts have been in vain.

Rin.

Why?

Why?

I will show you...

how much I love you...

and that I would do anything for you.

Rin.

You don't need to prove anything.

Don't do it.

Just don't.

Because I can't take any more of it.

Do you have any idea how tough it's been for me?

I have to hold it in whenever you think about Dia.

I tried to transform myself to resemble Dia

so you would pay attention to me.

I will show you...

how much I love you...

and that I would do anything for you.

Death is the only way out, isn't it, Dia?

Aoy and Chod, I never imagined

that the novel I've worked so hard on

would end like this.

"The idea of death doesn't surface in the heat of the moment."

"I've pondered it deeply."

Yes.

Dia's right.

There's no point in staying alive

if you are a burden to the person you love.

(Inappropriate Behavior Do Not Follow)

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Why did you do that?

Are you okay?

Are you hurt?

Why did you do that?

Rin.

Rin.

If you are going to do this to yourself, just kill me.

Rin.

I'd rather die.

Non.

Non?

Rin.

Listen.

I'm taking you to see a psychiatrist.

- I'm not going. - Rin.

Rin.

Sorry, the number you have dialed is unavailable at the moment.

Rin, what happened? Rin?

Non is missing, Maew.

He might be at the market. He will be back soon.

His clothes are gone.

(Non)

Can you put it on speaker?

(Non)

Hello, Non.

Where are you?

Maew.

Please take care of Rin.

Please tell her...

that I'm sorry

and that it's over between us.

What did you say? Why are you breaking up with me?

Non, please come back. I'm begging you.

Let's talk it out.

Non.

Please come back.

Non.

Rin.

I don't want to hurt you anymore.

I'm going to be honest with you.

Don't wait for me.

Go live your life.

Also,

take Maew's advice and go see a psychiatrist.

You need help to get better.

And do me a favor.

Do not try to kill yourself again.

I need to be alone for now.

Give me some time.

Take care, Rin.

Hello, Non.

Come talk to me first.

Don't just disappear.

Maew, call him back.

Sorry, the number you have dialed...

He's turned off his phone.

Rin? Rin! Where are you going?

Rin!

Rin!

- Where are you going? - To look for Non.

Rin, don't go!

There's no way for us to know where he's going.

I'll call a friend to help look for him.

They've got connections and should be able to find him quickly.

Can I come too? There will be more people helping.

You should wait here.

You're upset. I'm worried you might get into an accident.

Please listen to me. Wait here

in case Non comes home. Then you'll be here.

Okay?

Maew,

have you heard anything from your friend?

Not yet. But they're still on the lookout.

They've always been.

It's been so many days already.

Calm down, Rin.

If they don't get back to you by today,

should I go to the police or hire a detective?

Rin, calm down.

I'm as worried about Non as you are.

I have to go.

Hello? So?

Any news?

Okay.

Thanks so much.

Maybe I shouldn't tell Rin just yet.

Maew.

Why don't you go home and talk things out with Rin?

She's just unwell.

Let's help each other convince her to see a psychiatrist.

Rin?

Rin?

Rin?

Rin.

I guess... I really have to go

so that you won't hurt again.

Non?

Don't come any closer!

Rin.

Non?

What are you doing?

I don't want to live anymore.

No more.

Non.

Are you going to leave me?

I'm not leaving you.

I'm just wondering

that if I keep on living,

how many times will I hurt you

or break your heart?

I should just die.

I'll just die so you won't be expecting

anything from me again. You won't be disappointed anymore.

Non, please don't blame yourself.

It was never your fault.

It was mine.

No, it was mine.

It was my fault, Rin.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Rin.

Non, drop the knife!

Drop the knife, Non!

I'm begging you! Drop it!

Stop!

Non!

Non!

Stop, Non. I'm sorry.

It was my fault.

Please let me go, Rin.

I'm sorry, Non. Please don't leave me.

Non, listen to me.

I'll go see a psychiatrist.

Okay? I'll do it.

It was my fault for being self-centered.

It was my fault I got sick.

It's not your fault at all. Please listen to me.

It was because of me.

Non,

I love you.

Please don't leave me.

Please don't leave me, Non.

Please stay with me.

I love you, Non.

Please don't leave me.

Stay.

All right? Stay with me.

And you won't be sad because of me again?

No, I won't.

I promise.

I'm going to see a psychiatrist.

I'm going to get treatment.

And we'll be happy together.

Okay?

Okay?

I love you, Non.

I love you too, Rin.

How are you feeling today?

I recently

attempted suicide twice.

Aoy, Chod,

my sickness

is hurting the person I love.

I guess it's time for me to finally confront it

before it's too late.

I used to think it was going to be difficult and scary.

But having a conversation with a psychiatrist today

was completely different from what I imagined.

We discussed simple topics.

They were generic things

like work and relationships.

The psychiatrist was keen to listen to whatever I confided in her.

I'm aware that the depression I have

is going to take a year or many years to treat.

But I believe getting help was the right decision.

It gave me hope.

I'm starting to see the possibility of a complete recovery someday.

(One year later)

I finally finished the novel

I'd been working so hard on today, Aoy, Chod.

("Depression or Just Selfishness" Author: Darin)

It has a happy ending.

The protagonists live happily ever after just as I'd hoped.

But getting my novel to this point

wasn't easy at all.

I told you to stop mentioning Dia!

Rin, where are you going?

- Let go of me! - Rin.

- I said let go! - Come on.

- Rin. - You're hurting me! Let go!

Rin?

It's okay. Take a break if you're stressed.

Rin, it's time for your medication.

This past year,

I really struggled with depression.

But I've almost completely recovered.

The psychiatrist is starting to wean me off of my medication.

I'm very lucky

to have Non by my side.

He's always reminding me

that a special gift is waiting for me

if I'm able to get through these dark times.

Come on. Let's go home.

Rin,

I have something for you.

Is this for me?

Do you like it?

Very much.

There's more.

Your story is a very good example

for anyone who's struggling with mental illness.

The most important thing is to accept that you're unwell.

Seeing a psychiatrist and following their suggestions

will help you recover from the illness.

We'd like you to know you have our support.

We wish you a speedy recovery and happiness.

As the problems in your life get resolved,

I guess you're realizing that when you stop being self-centered,

you'll better understand other people's points of view.

And you won't fixate on or expect too much from others.

Your relationship will be a happy one,

and you and the person you love can live stress-free.

Aoy, Chod, thank you

for listening to and understanding someone with depression

that stemmed from their self-centeredness, like me.

I'm truly grateful.

You'll need to be understanding to help someone with depression,

not just pandering to their needs.

Oops, sorry.

Can you stop acting like this already?

You never retaliate or anything.

You just busy yourself with your phone or a book.

But in fact, you enjoy messing around

with other people's boyfriends.

You would have at least a few friends if you were actually nice.

I know you talked to your lawyer friend about divorcing me!

Yes, I want a divorce!

I feel like I'm not important to anyone

except him.

Rin!

- Are you okay? - You spooked me.

Look at you.

Maybe towards the back.

She has a fungal infection.

She's allergic to Bangkok.

I'm delicate. I need to be cherished.

It's a rash.

You don't have to.

Cut. Okay.

What were you typing?