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1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:02,921
[Detective Donna Williams]
The Feds are now on the case.
2
00:00:02,921 --> 00:00:04,714
They don't want me involved.
The least I can do
3
00:00:04,714 --> 00:00:06,299
is feed you idiots
some useful information.
4
00:00:06,299 --> 00:00:09,302
A single casing was found
in apartment 14F
5
00:00:09,302 --> 00:00:11,930
belonging to a tenant
by the name of M. Dudenoff.
6
00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:14,266
[Mabel Mora]
Look, there's a footprint on the radiator.
7
00:00:14,266 --> 00:00:15,725
- Come here! Come here!
- [crashing]
8
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,644
Ben Glenroy?
9
00:00:17,644 --> 00:00:20,772
[in Irish accent]
I'm Glenn Stubbins, Ben's stunt double.
10
00:00:20,772 --> 00:00:23,567
I'm begging ya.
Can you help me get a job on your film?
11
00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:26,278
I present to you the Brothers!
12
00:00:26,278 --> 00:00:30,156
And when these gals read the fabulous
script that Marshall P. Pope wrote...
13
00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:32,409
I-I just tried to get you all down
in the right way, you know?
14
00:00:32,409 --> 00:00:33,618
At least how I pictured you.
15
00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:36,371
[Eva Longoria] I'm not telling you to
sell your life rights, but if you do,
16
00:00:36,371 --> 00:00:38,206
ask them for a shit-ton of money.
17
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,584
[Oliver Putnam]
Notice this intruder. A male arm.
18
00:00:40,584 --> 00:00:42,544
And I don't trust its intentions!
19
00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:44,504
[Charles-Haden Savage]
Sazz sacrificed everything for me,
20
00:00:44,504 --> 00:00:46,840
and by the time I realized it,
it was too late to make it up to her.
21
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,217
Someday, I won't be able
to take the hits anymore.
22
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,261
I'm gonna open up a trampoline park.
23
00:00:51,261 --> 00:00:54,306
[Mabel]
What is this place? A hideout?
24
00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:57,017
Don't move or I'll blow
your fucking brains out.
25
00:00:57,017 --> 00:00:58,101
[overlapping yelps]
26
00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:01,563
[♪ gentle music playing]
27
00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:07,110
[Marshall P. Pope]
What makes a writer a real writer?
28
00:01:10,530 --> 00:01:12,365
It starts with the look.
29
00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:17,287
A look that says,
I'm smart, confident, worldly,
30
00:01:17,287 --> 00:01:19,122
important, but not self-important.
31
00:01:22,167 --> 00:01:25,420
I can quote David Foster Wallace
and Ace Ventura.
32
00:01:27,339 --> 00:01:28,840
"Alrighty then."
33
00:01:29,841 --> 00:01:33,053
It's about convincing the world, and,
34
00:01:33,053 --> 00:01:36,097
honestly, yourself,
that you have the goods.
35
00:01:41,937 --> 00:01:43,605
But the look only gets you so far.
36
00:01:48,235 --> 00:01:50,320
- [typing]
- It comes down to what's on the page.
37
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:55,033
♪
38
00:01:58,453 --> 00:02:01,331
And the page has to dazzle,
39
00:02:01,331 --> 00:02:04,125
bright enough that it catches
the right person's eye.
40
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:07,212
♪
41
00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:14,803
And then, you get the call.
42
00:02:15,804 --> 00:02:18,056
They're making your movie.
43
00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:20,141
You're a real writer now.
44
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,977
You're convinced the voice in your head,
45
00:02:21,977 --> 00:02:24,229
the one that says you are a fraud,
46
00:02:24,229 --> 00:02:26,022
is finally gonna go away.
47
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,150
Except, it doesn't.
48
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:32,654
And you start to wonder if it
[weak laugh] ever will.
49
00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:33,738
[gun cocks]
50
00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:36,157
Don't move or I'll blow
your fucking brains out.
51
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,784
The tragedy of it all!
52
00:02:37,784 --> 00:02:40,829
Death comes for Oliver Putnam
in the prime of his life.
53
00:02:40,829 --> 00:02:42,330
Fine, do it!
54
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:45,417
Extinguish my roaring flame,
but spare my friends!
55
00:02:45,417 --> 00:02:47,961
[♪ dramatic crescendo]
56
00:02:48,378 --> 00:02:50,297
Oh, my God, it's you?
57
00:02:50,297 --> 00:02:52,674
Oh, I'm so sorry.
58
00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:54,885
I've just been a little on edge.
59
00:02:54,885 --> 00:02:57,804
I really do not like being
this far east of Brentwood.
60
00:02:57,804 --> 00:02:59,681
Do you mind putting the gun down?
61
00:02:59,681 --> 00:03:01,474
Oh, this? It's not loaded.
62
00:03:01,474 --> 00:03:03,852
- [gunshots]
- [all yelling]
63
00:03:03,852 --> 00:03:06,062
- [clicking]
- [screaming]
64
00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:08,690
[Bev sighs]
65
00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:12,068
Okay, so I'll be taking that...
away...
66
00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:13,778
from you.
67
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:15,238
Bev, what are you doing here?
68
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:16,615
And whose gun is that?
69
00:03:16,615 --> 00:03:19,951
It's your dead friend Sazz's,
I assume. I found it here in this--
70
00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:21,578
I-I don't know what you call this place.
71
00:03:21,578 --> 00:03:24,247
A sad... shack. A poverty cottage?
72
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:27,626
Stop deflecting.
Did you kill Sazz?
73
00:03:27,626 --> 00:03:30,587
Ooh, I really like what
I'm seeing over here.
74
00:03:30,587 --> 00:03:32,464
Mabel the investigator,
75
00:03:32,464 --> 00:03:35,634
stomping around
in your patchwork trench coat,
76
00:03:35,634 --> 00:03:38,261
solving crimes like
a millennial Nancy Drew.
77
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:41,723
- I'm really excited for our movie, guys!
- [Charles] Bev.
78
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:43,183
Did you kill her?
79
00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:44,935
No, I did not.
80
00:03:44,935 --> 00:03:47,896
But I think someone on the movie may have.
81
00:03:47,896 --> 00:03:50,982
[♪ lively theme song playing]
82
00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:54,069
[♪ vocalizing]
83
00:04:32,941 --> 00:04:34,943
[♪ theme song fades out]
84
00:04:36,102 --> 00:04:37,112
[birds cawing]
85
00:04:37,112 --> 00:04:39,573
[Charles] Bev, where were
you the night she was killed?
86
00:04:39,573 --> 00:04:41,992
Ooh, I was hoping you would ask!
87
00:04:41,992 --> 00:04:45,453
Well, here's me that night, in LA,
88
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,163
at Variety's Power Women Party
89
00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:49,833
for the 100 Most Powerful Women Under 100.
90
00:04:49,833 --> 00:04:53,128
It was, of course, at the Power Room.
I'm on top of the world.
91
00:04:53,128 --> 00:04:54,880
I'm dressed head to toe in Chanel.
92
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,424
Ain't no one gonna fuck with this bitch,
you know what I'm saying?
93
00:04:57,424 --> 00:04:59,050
Anyway, Sazz called me.
94
00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:01,011
I didn't pick up
'cause it was a random number,
95
00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:04,973
but she left me a voicemail,
which I thought was interesting.
96
00:05:04,973 --> 00:05:06,182
[clicks play button]
97
00:05:06,182 --> 00:05:09,394
[Sazz] [on voicemail] Name's Sazz Pataki,
and I'm told you're the one to talk to.
98
00:05:09,394 --> 00:05:13,106
Look, I can't get into this in a message,
but you need to call me, okay?
99
00:05:13,106 --> 00:05:15,525
There's a problem with your
Only Murders movie.
100
00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:18,153
A big problem,
and I can't say more than that.
101
00:05:18,153 --> 00:05:20,322
11:07.
102
00:05:20,322 --> 00:05:22,741
That's right after
she left to get the wine.
103
00:05:22,741 --> 00:05:24,451
And you didn't call her back?
104
00:05:24,451 --> 00:05:27,245
- I know you're all new to Hollywood, but--
- [Oliver] New?!
105
00:05:27,245 --> 00:05:31,333
I'll have you know that I directed
Singing in the Rain 2 for VH1 in '88.
106
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:32,834
Town's still talking about it.
107
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,420
Gary Busey was in it,
and he stole all the cameras.
108
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:38,924
Listen, what I'm saying is
no one wants to get that call.
109
00:05:38,924 --> 00:05:41,635
It's really hard to get
a movie made these days,
110
00:05:41,635 --> 00:05:43,678
and I just wasn't in the mood
to hear about a problem.
111
00:05:43,678 --> 00:05:46,014
So I took my good old time
getting back to her.
112
00:05:46,014 --> 00:05:48,099
Then, the next thing I heard,
she was dead.
113
00:05:48,099 --> 00:05:49,601
So you're haunted by guilt.
114
00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:51,311
But you think everything
would be different
115
00:05:51,311 --> 00:05:52,979
if you'd just called her back.
116
00:05:52,979 --> 00:05:54,439
Oh, I'm haunted...
117
00:05:54,439 --> 00:05:56,107
by the fear that this movie falls apart.
118
00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:57,859
The stakes are through
the roof for me right now.
119
00:05:57,859 --> 00:05:59,027
I passed on Barbie.
120
00:05:59,444 --> 00:06:01,071
I need to find and fix this problem
121
00:06:01,071 --> 00:06:02,989
before it takes down
the whole production.
122
00:06:02,989 --> 00:06:06,117
So, I came here, and I turned
this place inside out,
123
00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:09,454
but all I found were a couple of sketches
of trampolines and that gun.
124
00:06:09,829 --> 00:06:12,040
[sighs] Can't believe I did that.
125
00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:15,794
Guns are destroying our entire society.
126
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,463
[sighs] Can I have it back?
127
00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:20,590
- [Oliver snorts]
- What? No!
128
00:06:20,590 --> 00:06:23,885
Please! It kinda turned me on.
I don't know.
129
00:06:23,885 --> 00:06:27,430
I just felt so powerful holding it.
[sighs] And I really think my notes
130
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:29,599
to writers would land better with a gun.
131
00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:31,685
It's "Tighten up act two, guys,"
132
00:06:31,685 --> 00:06:34,854
or "Tighten up act two." I mean,
which one are you gonna listen to?
133
00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,856
Yeah, I think I'm gonna hold on to this.
134
00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:38,149
Fine.
135
00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:40,193
Well, I'm really glad
I bumped into you guys.
136
00:06:40,193 --> 00:06:42,571
Investigating murders is exhausting.
137
00:06:42,571 --> 00:06:44,906
But you all seem to enjoy
this killer-finding thing,
138
00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:47,242
so you find the killer, I save the movie.
139
00:06:47,242 --> 00:06:48,618
How's that for a deal?
140
00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:50,787
[♪ bright music playing]
141
00:06:50,787 --> 00:06:53,498
[ambient street noise]
142
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,334
- [Charles] Get ready to be dazzled!
- [wheels squeaking]
143
00:06:58,879 --> 00:07:00,297
What do you think?
144
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,300
I think the next time you
ask me to rush over here
145
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,010
for a break in the case,
146
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:06,469
you need to gimme something better than
147
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,013
20-fucking-thousand murder boards, okay?
148
00:07:08,013 --> 00:07:09,180
It's only three!
149
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:12,434
That's three too fuckin' many, man.
What is this? Amateur hour?
150
00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:15,145
May I remind you that these
amateurs have thrice bested
151
00:07:15,145 --> 00:07:17,147
the NYPD homicide department.
152
00:07:17,147 --> 00:07:18,690
Now, I think there's something here.
153
00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:21,109
Sazz called Bev Melon
154
00:07:21,109 --> 00:07:22,986
and said that there was
a problem on the movie.
155
00:07:22,986 --> 00:07:24,821
And right after that, she was shot.
156
00:07:24,821 --> 00:07:27,741
Ergo, someone on the movie killed Sazz
157
00:07:27,741 --> 00:07:30,076
to keep this problem a secret!
158
00:07:30,076 --> 00:07:31,870
Okay, so if this is such a hot theory,
159
00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:33,622
then where's the rest of
your crew to vouch for it?
160
00:07:33,622 --> 00:07:35,665
- [door opens, shuts]
- [Oliver] We're here! We're here!
161
00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:38,335
Well, the good people of
Page Six have solved it.
162
00:07:38,335 --> 00:07:41,338
The bicep on Loretta's
Instagram has been identified.
163
00:07:41,338 --> 00:07:42,422
Wow.
164
00:07:42,422 --> 00:07:45,258
[Oliver]
It belongs to one Jack Jonk.
165
00:07:45,258 --> 00:07:49,012
He has a four-episode arc on Norfbun
as Loretta's love interest.
166
00:07:49,012 --> 00:07:51,431
Go ahead, Loretta.
You know Jack Jonk, right?
167
00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:53,141
- The former Olympic swimmer?
- Yeah, I do.
168
00:07:53,141 --> 00:07:55,018
[Detective Williams]
So you know what that means, right?
169
00:07:55,018 --> 00:07:56,186
Big-ass arms.
170
00:07:57,145 --> 00:07:58,897
Big-ass legs.
171
00:07:58,897 --> 00:08:01,775
- Big-ass--
- Oh, no, no. [stammers] I think,
172
00:08:01,775 --> 00:08:04,361
to me, he has a perfectly normal physique.
173
00:08:04,361 --> 00:08:05,654
In fact, he reminds me of me
174
00:08:05,654 --> 00:08:07,405
when I was doing
the elliptical two times a week.
175
00:08:07,405 --> 00:08:09,074
- [Charles] Mm-hmm.
- [Mabel] Sorry, not listening.
176
00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:10,575
Guys, have you seen these checks?
177
00:08:10,575 --> 00:08:12,744
Oh, our life rights checks have landed.
178
00:08:12,744 --> 00:08:14,746
I sent mine to my accountant in Belize.
179
00:08:14,746 --> 00:08:16,456
- Where?
- Where, uh,
180
00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:19,042
my accountant is hiking
the Xunantunich Mountains,
181
00:08:19,042 --> 00:08:21,795
and who will return with the check
and deposit here,
182
00:08:21,795 --> 00:08:24,422
so I can pay
the appropriate American taxes.
183
00:08:24,422 --> 00:08:27,801
I just can't believe they're actually
paying us. It's so official.
184
00:08:27,801 --> 00:08:30,762
- That's because we're professionals now.
- [Williams groans]
185
00:08:30,762 --> 00:08:33,723
Yeah, we're professionals.
I'm a professional...
186
00:08:34,307 --> 00:08:35,350
Wait, what do I do?
187
00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:37,686
You do... this.
188
00:08:38,687 --> 00:08:41,273
Well, what is "this" exactly?
189
00:08:41,273 --> 00:08:42,732
God only knows.
190
00:08:42,732 --> 00:08:45,735
Well, you... you know,
w-we have a podcast,
191
00:08:45,735 --> 00:08:47,862
s-so you are a pod-smith.
192
00:08:49,072 --> 00:08:52,117
- A crime-fluencer.
- How about podcast producer?
193
00:08:52,117 --> 00:08:54,202
I'm a podcast producer.
194
00:08:55,870 --> 00:08:57,706
I am a podcast producer.
195
00:08:57,706 --> 00:08:59,207
No, but it's more like...
196
00:08:59,207 --> 00:09:01,084
I'm a podcast producer!
197
00:09:01,084 --> 00:09:03,128
Yeah, you don't have to overdo it.
You could just say...
198
00:09:03,128 --> 00:09:05,255
[aloof]
"Oh, I'm a podcast producer."
199
00:09:05,922 --> 00:09:08,133
[aloof]
I'm a podcast producer.
200
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,468
[normal]
But why is that so scary to say out loud?
201
00:09:10,468 --> 00:09:13,054
Maybe it's 'cause you're
a producer on a podcast
202
00:09:13,054 --> 00:09:15,682
about a crime that has
40,000 fuckin' suspects.
203
00:09:15,682 --> 00:09:18,184
Not for long.
We are headed up to the production office.
204
00:09:18,184 --> 00:09:21,396
We are gonna poke around and knock
a few more names off these boards.
205
00:09:21,396 --> 00:09:24,232
Okay, great. Sounds good.
So, while you guys do that,
206
00:09:24,232 --> 00:09:27,527
I'm gonna get some more information
on this gun. In the meantime,
207
00:09:27,527 --> 00:09:29,946
tighten it up. You hear me?
208
00:09:29,946 --> 00:09:33,241
Fuckin' amateur--
Take this shit off the board!
209
00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:35,493
- Think she was impressed.
- [Oliver growls]
210
00:09:35,493 --> 00:09:37,412
- [elevator dings]
- [♪ jaunty music playing]
211
00:09:37,412 --> 00:09:40,248
- [people chattering]
- [Trina Brothers] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
212
00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:44,085
- Oh God. I have an idea.
- [Trina laughs]
213
00:09:44,085 --> 00:09:46,379
These three should be
in the photo shoot, too.
214
00:09:46,379 --> 00:09:48,632
- [Trina gasps]
- Why aren't you writing this down?
215
00:09:48,632 --> 00:09:50,592
- [heavy bag dropping]
- [Oliver snorts]
216
00:09:50,592 --> 00:09:54,262
Oh, [laughs] well, Oliver Putnam
does love a photo shoot.
217
00:09:54,262 --> 00:09:55,972
My hair guy is in a home now,
218
00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:58,433
so there's a bit of paperwork
involved in getting him out, but--
219
00:09:58,433 --> 00:10:00,310
Well, what--
What is this photo shoot?
220
00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:02,896
It's marketing for the movie.
Ready for the concept?
221
00:10:02,896 --> 00:10:04,439
Full frontal nudity.
222
00:10:04,439 --> 00:10:07,692
Two bodies ravaged by time.
223
00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:09,486
And one dewy with promise.
224
00:10:09,486 --> 00:10:11,613
Nobody's doing a naked photo shoot.
225
00:10:11,613 --> 00:10:13,990
Wait, yes! It should be the opposite.
226
00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:16,076
You drowning in your season one outfits.
227
00:10:16,076 --> 00:10:17,160
- Oh...
- Did you get that?
228
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,745
Season one outfits.
229
00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:20,872
And the actors in identical looks?
230
00:10:20,872 --> 00:10:23,083
Doubles, illusions.
231
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:24,376
So cliché.
232
00:10:24,376 --> 00:10:26,086
- [haughty laughter]
- [elevator dings]
233
00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:29,589
- Don't be late.
- [case wheels squeaking]
234
00:10:33,468 --> 00:10:35,720
Hey, Oliver! [gasps]
235
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,306
I saw Page Six today. Oh, my God.
236
00:10:38,306 --> 00:10:40,517
Sounds like your girlfriend's
about to get Jonked.
237
00:10:40,517 --> 00:10:42,727
I'd prefer if you didn't put it that way.
238
00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:44,396
Well, you gotta tell her though,
239
00:10:44,396 --> 00:10:47,524
'cause it's best to line up
a good orthopedic surgeon now.
240
00:10:47,524 --> 00:10:49,609
'Cause she's gonna need
a big hip replacement
241
00:10:49,609 --> 00:10:51,486
after he drops that Jonk on her.
242
00:10:51,486 --> 00:10:53,029
I'm sorry, you've used "Jonk"
243
00:10:53,029 --> 00:10:55,782
as both a noun and a verb
in the span of 10 seconds.
244
00:10:55,782 --> 00:10:58,743
Well, it can be both.
"The Jonk jonked my jonk till I jonked,"
245
00:10:58,743 --> 00:10:59,828
is a valid sentence.
246
00:10:59,828 --> 00:11:03,748
Well, he and I don't
sound that different.
247
00:11:03,748 --> 00:11:05,000
Both body guys.
248
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,293
- You know, love protein.
- Mm.
249
00:11:06,293 --> 00:11:08,837
In fact, a lotta people don't know this,
but I-I myself
250
00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:11,172
- went through a steroids phase.
- Hm.
251
00:11:11,172 --> 00:11:13,300
Prednisone for my sinus infections.
252
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,676
[Bev Melon]
Hm...
253
00:11:14,676 --> 00:11:16,386
That's so interesting.
254
00:11:16,386 --> 00:11:19,055
It's funny 'cause you don't strike me
as someone who would, like,
255
00:11:19,055 --> 00:11:20,473
"care for their body."
256
00:11:21,057 --> 00:11:22,475
Excuse me. I need to go find someone.
257
00:11:22,475 --> 00:11:24,811
Actually, uh, uh, uh,
I-I-I'm known
258
00:11:24,811 --> 00:11:28,440
as a bit of a Herculean figure
in the, uh, theater community.
259
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,984
Usually picked second for softball,
260
00:11:30,984 --> 00:11:32,694
right after the lesbian stage manager.
261
00:11:32,694 --> 00:11:34,529
And I don't wanna brag, but, uh,
262
00:11:34,529 --> 00:11:38,533
I've been asked to be
a pallbearer. Many times.
263
00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:40,660
- [elevator dings]
- [doors open]
264
00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:42,495
- [production office chatter]
- [phones ringing]
265
00:11:42,495 --> 00:11:43,580
- [sticking]
- Ooh.
266
00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:47,000
What is this I'm standing on?
It feels like fly paper.
267
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,085
It's a tacky mat. Production thing.
268
00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:50,712
I work here now, know all the words.
269
00:11:50,712 --> 00:11:53,048
"Comtex."
"Gobo tweeny up and over."
270
00:11:53,048 --> 00:11:54,841
"Grip." I can continue.
271
00:11:54,841 --> 00:11:57,427
- I can't.
- It gets the dust off your shoes
272
00:11:57,427 --> 00:11:59,554
so you don't track anything
into the sisters' nest.
273
00:11:59,554 --> 00:12:00,972
It's a kick-off gift from Eva.
274
00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:02,933
She has a full line of sticky products.
275
00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:06,436
Boob tape, wound glue.
She's huge in adhesives.
276
00:12:06,436 --> 00:12:08,980
Anyway, that's a wrap on me!
277
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:11,733
I gotta go martini two-shot
that best boy. [clicks tongue]
278
00:12:14,027 --> 00:12:16,655
- This is a lot of suspects.
- [sticking]
279
00:12:16,655 --> 00:12:19,449
What'd Detective Williams call us?
Amateurs?
280
00:12:19,449 --> 00:12:22,118
Ama-- If that's even the word she used.
I can't remember.
281
00:12:22,577 --> 00:12:24,871
- It was amateurs.
- Yeah?
282
00:12:25,622 --> 00:12:27,999
Well, would an amateur pretend
to be making a call
283
00:12:27,999 --> 00:12:31,127
while secretly taking photos
for our murder board?
284
00:12:31,127 --> 00:12:33,088
- Oh, yes! Uh...
- [loud shutter snapping]
285
00:12:33,088 --> 00:12:36,591
- ...yes, I can hold. Yes, I'll wait. Oh!
- [♪ jaunty music playing]
286
00:12:36,591 --> 00:12:39,094
Yes, it's me, Martha! Hi! How are--
287
00:12:39,094 --> 00:12:42,764
- I just wanna order those nachos. Uh, na--
- [shutter snapping continues]
288
00:12:42,764 --> 00:12:45,350
Do you want nachos?
You don't? You don't want them?
289
00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:48,228
Can you put some, uh, papa de gallo...
290
00:12:48,228 --> 00:12:51,523
- [mutters] Pico de gallo.
- Paca de-- Pico de gallo on that for me?
291
00:12:51,523 --> 00:12:53,858
- Oh, look at this. That's so interesting.
- [shutter snapping]
292
00:12:53,858 --> 00:12:55,235
Good work. Good work, everyone.
293
00:12:55,235 --> 00:12:57,487
Yeah, that's fantastic.
294
00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:59,823
I really hope the camera's
pointing the right way.
295
00:12:59,823 --> 00:13:02,409
- Oh, shoot.
- [clicking]
296
00:13:02,409 --> 00:13:03,910
[whispers]
Okay, here we go.
297
00:13:04,578 --> 00:13:06,454
- [normal] Yeah. Uh-huh?
- [shutter snapping]
298
00:13:06,454 --> 00:13:07,956
Well, that's interesting! Yes!
299
00:13:07,956 --> 00:13:10,458
- [shutter snapping continues]
- Yes, I can hold, Martha.
300
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:14,004
[whispers] How are we supposed to tell
if one of these people is the murderer?
301
00:13:14,004 --> 00:13:16,089
I guess we look for someone
who gets nervous
302
00:13:16,089 --> 00:13:17,966
when they see us poking around.
303
00:13:19,676 --> 00:13:20,719
Like him.
304
00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:22,512
[thuds]
305
00:13:26,267 --> 00:13:27,893
- [button clicking]
- [♪ curious music playing]
306
00:13:27,893 --> 00:13:29,227
Marshall, right?
307
00:13:29,227 --> 00:13:30,979
We need to talk with you.
308
00:13:30,979 --> 00:13:33,064
Oh shit, it's the whole trio.
309
00:13:33,064 --> 00:13:35,400
Uh, fine. L-L-Let's do it.
310
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:39,070
We have a few questions about Sazz Pataki.
Did you happen to see--
311
00:13:39,070 --> 00:13:41,615
Wait, I'm a suspect?
312
00:13:42,449 --> 00:13:43,658
Oh, thank God.
313
00:13:43,658 --> 00:13:46,620
Sorry, I-I thought you wanted
to give me more notes on the script.
314
00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:49,915
It's just you're producers--
co-associate producers--
315
00:13:49,915 --> 00:13:53,168
and everyone's been hounding me
about rewrites, and I figured you...
316
00:13:53,168 --> 00:13:54,920
[ragged breathing] But no, I'm...
317
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,589
I'm just a suspect.
[nervous laugh]
318
00:13:57,589 --> 00:13:59,049
Um, okay, great. So,
319
00:13:59,758 --> 00:14:02,385
ask me where I was
the night Sazz got murdered.
320
00:14:02,385 --> 00:14:04,095
- Not here.
- [shutter snaps]
321
00:14:04,095 --> 00:14:05,722
- Let's talk at my place.
- [elevator dings]
322
00:14:06,306 --> 00:14:09,559
- [gasps] Mabel! Hey! Hi!
- Hey, hi, hi.
323
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,645
I just went down to
the lobby to look for you.
324
00:14:11,645 --> 00:14:14,356
Can you hang back
and talk with me for a second?
325
00:14:14,356 --> 00:14:17,609
Come sit down with me.
Let's see if we can pass the Bechdel test.
326
00:14:17,609 --> 00:14:20,070
[ropes creak]
327
00:14:20,070 --> 00:14:23,198
Oh, by the way, the checks landed.
What are we gonna splurge on?
328
00:14:23,198 --> 00:14:25,617
Oh, I'm probably gonna
sink mine into my business.
329
00:14:25,617 --> 00:14:28,828
I'm... a... podcast producer.
330
00:14:28,828 --> 00:14:30,914
Yeah. And I oversee a few--
331
00:14:30,914 --> 00:14:33,083
a bunch of projects.
332
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:35,585
I'm sure you have
a million irons in the fire,
333
00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,587
but I do happen to be looking for
334
00:14:37,587 --> 00:14:41,758
a hot new podcast to adapt for
my next movie. So what have you got?
335
00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:45,303
Oh! Um, I have lots of ideas.
336
00:14:45,303 --> 00:14:47,847
You know, they're just not fully baked.
337
00:14:47,847 --> 00:14:49,391
Mabel, nobody needs fully baked.
338
00:14:49,391 --> 00:14:51,226
All you need is a hook.
339
00:14:51,226 --> 00:14:54,646
So what's your next podcast?
Go on. Hook me.
340
00:14:55,397 --> 00:14:57,399
- Like, now?
- Yeah, now. Why not?
341
00:14:57,399 --> 00:14:59,192
Uh-- Um-- The--
342
00:14:59,192 --> 00:15:01,444
The first one is about...
343
00:15:01,444 --> 00:15:02,779
people.
344
00:15:02,779 --> 00:15:05,198
Tall people, short people,
345
00:15:05,198 --> 00:15:07,659
all different-sized people.
346
00:15:07,659 --> 00:15:08,827
Hm.
347
00:15:09,703 --> 00:15:11,329
And, uh, there's, uh,
348
00:15:12,122 --> 00:15:14,708
another one about buttons...
349
00:15:14,708 --> 00:15:18,378
being pushed... because of... trauma.
350
00:15:18,378 --> 00:15:20,255
Ooh, I like that.
351
00:15:20,255 --> 00:15:23,008
You know what? Forget it.
None of these are really anything.
352
00:15:23,008 --> 00:15:26,845
Mabel, do you want
the advice of a senior VP?
353
00:15:26,845 --> 00:15:29,139
These ideas are fantastic!
354
00:15:29,139 --> 00:15:30,765
They're relatable.
355
00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,767
I mean, come on.
Who hasn't dealt with
356
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:34,477
people and buttons?
357
00:15:34,477 --> 00:15:36,563
You know what?
I saw it in the shed.
358
00:15:36,563 --> 00:15:39,149
I said, "The gal under 80,
359
00:15:39,149 --> 00:15:41,318
she's the one you wanna bet on long-term."
360
00:15:41,318 --> 00:15:43,069
So, you know what?
I'm calling Billy Billberg.
361
00:15:43,069 --> 00:15:45,363
He heads up the podcast division
of our corporation.
362
00:15:45,363 --> 00:15:47,240
I can already see the potential!
363
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,701
Building brands, spreading trends
364
00:15:49,701 --> 00:15:52,579
make that Gen Z
get off their asses and listen.
365
00:15:52,579 --> 00:15:53,747
Okay, so here's the plan.
366
00:15:53,747 --> 00:15:56,291
[snaps fingers]
You're gonna flesh out these ideas,
367
00:15:56,291 --> 00:15:59,961
and I'm gonna set you up
on a meeting ASAP.
368
00:15:59,961 --> 00:16:02,631
Oh, uh, uh, no,
I'm not sure about my schedule.
369
00:16:02,631 --> 00:16:04,591
[gibberish] I don't wanna hear it.
370
00:16:04,591 --> 00:16:07,719
Shh. I don't wanna hear anything.
Mabel, listen to me.
371
00:16:07,719 --> 00:16:10,764
They're not buying the idea
as much as they're buying you,
372
00:16:10,764 --> 00:16:13,934
so don't stress. Case closed.
[pop] We're doing it.
373
00:16:13,934 --> 00:16:15,352
- Uh--
- [elevator dings]
374
00:16:15,352 --> 00:16:18,939
[♪ rhythmic knocking on door]
375
00:16:21,024 --> 00:16:23,735
- [stops knocking]
- Ah-ha! It's me favorite trio!
376
00:16:24,444 --> 00:16:27,781
- Ah, when'd you grow the beard, lassie?
- That's not Mabel.
377
00:16:29,241 --> 00:16:32,786
Oh, well, um--
I's just leaving you dis gift.
378
00:16:32,786 --> 00:16:34,037
- Oh. Mm.
- There you go, Chuck.
379
00:16:34,037 --> 00:16:35,455
It's me old gran's soda bread.
380
00:16:35,997 --> 00:16:38,875
[sighs] Dropped your name.
Got meself a gig on the film.
381
00:16:38,875 --> 00:16:41,002
Just odd jobs for now,
382
00:16:41,002 --> 00:16:44,381
but I'll be, uh, doublin' for you
at the photo shoot later.
383
00:16:44,381 --> 00:16:47,300
[laughs] Oh, Dublin. That's...
Doub-- Oh, Glen!
384
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,011
Um, you're a stunt guy.
385
00:16:50,011 --> 00:16:51,680
Would you say I'm physically fit?
386
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:55,058
- [clicks button]
- Oh, sure. You're a right Conor McGregor.
387
00:16:56,268 --> 00:16:57,852
- [stamping]
- I'll scrap ya! Motherf--
388
00:16:57,852 --> 00:16:59,020
[water trickling]
389
00:16:59,646 --> 00:17:00,647
[recorder beeps]
390
00:17:01,356 --> 00:17:04,359
I can't believe I'm getting
grilled by the actual trio.
391
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,737
[laughs] I've spent months picturing
how you would do an interrogation scene,
392
00:17:07,737 --> 00:17:10,949
and now I'm inside one! Wild.
393
00:17:10,949 --> 00:17:12,993
Y-Yeah, you're really living the dream.
394
00:17:12,993 --> 00:17:16,079
Um, can you tell us where
you were the night Sazz died?
395
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,414
It's funny you ask--
396
00:17:17,414 --> 00:17:19,291
Marshall, this script is amazing.
397
00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:20,375
You like it?
398
00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:23,420
I love it! I've never seen myself
portrayed so accurately before.
399
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:25,547
"Charles peers shrewdly at the evidence,
400
00:17:25,547 --> 00:17:28,466
his keen analytical brain
thumping with thought."
401
00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:29,885
Does a brain thump?
402
00:17:29,885 --> 00:17:31,845
Well, apparently, this one does.
403
00:17:31,845 --> 00:17:33,889
[Oliver]
"Oliver flits around the room,
404
00:17:33,889 --> 00:17:36,933
a septuagenarian Peter Pan
or a male Tinkerbell"?
405
00:17:36,933 --> 00:17:38,894
Okay, that's just bad writing, Marshall.
406
00:17:38,894 --> 00:17:40,854
- Pick a metaphor.
- [Mabel] Aren't you supposed to be
407
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:43,899
printing out the photos
we took in the production offices?
408
00:17:43,899 --> 00:17:45,567
Fine, fine.
409
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:48,570
B-But Marshall, take a look at
how you wrote me in the script
410
00:17:48,570 --> 00:17:50,655
because I do not walk like that.
411
00:17:55,744 --> 00:17:57,871
It's classic trio bickering.
412
00:17:57,871 --> 00:17:59,998
It's my favorite part of the podcast.
[laughs]
413
00:17:59,998 --> 00:18:01,625
God, I love you guys!
414
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:04,377
[clears throat] But to get back
to your question on where I was
415
00:18:04,377 --> 00:18:07,088
the night Sazz died, the truth is...
416
00:18:08,423 --> 00:18:11,468
I've been trying my hand at standup.
Observational stuff.
417
00:18:11,468 --> 00:18:13,845
I-I'm more of a storyteller
than a punchline guy.
418
00:18:13,845 --> 00:18:15,847
Think Jonathan Winters meets Ali Wong.
419
00:18:15,847 --> 00:18:19,392
That night, I was in West Hollywood,
doing a set at the Laugh-eteria.
420
00:18:19,392 --> 00:18:20,852
Oh, I can show you on YouTube!
421
00:18:20,852 --> 00:18:23,480
Actually, that would be useful.
It's my first time doing this hour and--
422
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,440
- Uh, that's okay.
- Wow. An hour.
423
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,525
Uh, Mabel, we oughta let
this kid get back to work.
424
00:18:27,525 --> 00:18:29,903
The only thing he's guilty of
is great character writing.
425
00:18:29,903 --> 00:18:32,530
- [excited giggle]
- [Mabel] [sighs] I'm sorry, Marshall,
426
00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:36,451
before you go, is your beard fake?
427
00:18:37,035 --> 00:18:39,037
Oh God, is it that obvious?
428
00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:41,623
Th-This is supposed to be
costume-grade human hair!
429
00:18:41,623 --> 00:18:44,125
[Mabel]
I-It's a great beard, it's just...
430
00:18:44,125 --> 00:18:46,461
can you tell me why you have it?
431
00:18:46,836 --> 00:18:49,756
Uh-- [laughs]
Yeah, this is so embarrassing,
432
00:18:49,756 --> 00:18:52,092
but I-I can't really grow facial hair.
433
00:18:52,092 --> 00:18:53,885
I-It's my first time on set,
434
00:18:53,885 --> 00:18:56,930
and I wanted to sell myself
as a "real writer,"
435
00:18:56,930 --> 00:18:59,558
and this is the look, right?
436
00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:03,270
Oh, these aren't-- these aren't
real either. I have 20/10 vision.
437
00:19:03,270 --> 00:19:06,398
How could a writer of your talent
have imposter syndrome?
438
00:19:06,398 --> 00:19:08,024
Actually, I get it.
439
00:19:08,024 --> 00:19:11,111
Really? You're not an imposter.
440
00:19:11,111 --> 00:19:12,988
Sometimes, I feel like one.
441
00:19:12,988 --> 00:19:15,156
That's crazy. You're my inspiration.
442
00:19:15,156 --> 00:19:16,866
It's what drew me to your podcast.
443
00:19:17,492 --> 00:19:20,912
You never pretend to be anything
other than what you are.
444
00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:21,997
Amateurs.
445
00:19:21,997 --> 00:19:24,749
- Hey, hey. Whoa.
- [Marshall] I was gonna say amateurs,
446
00:19:24,749 --> 00:19:27,711
flailing their way to success.
447
00:19:28,503 --> 00:19:29,546
You haven't missed.
448
00:19:30,672 --> 00:19:33,466
I-I mean, look at these murder boards!
449
00:19:33,466 --> 00:19:36,469
They're a little homemade,
and yet you're--
450
00:19:36,469 --> 00:19:38,722
You're probably on
the verge of a breakthrough.
451
00:19:38,722 --> 00:19:40,140
Finally, someone who sees it.
452
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,601
You want me to walk you through it?
It could be helpful with the script.
453
00:19:42,601 --> 00:19:44,686
That would be incredible.
454
00:19:45,645 --> 00:19:49,608
You'll notice how this is organized
around the theme of questions.
455
00:19:49,608 --> 00:19:53,361
The who, the how, the why,
and the why now?
456
00:19:53,361 --> 00:19:56,323
You know, we really should contact
the MasterClass people about this.
457
00:19:56,323 --> 00:19:59,117
Wow.
So, you don't know who the target was?
458
00:19:59,659 --> 00:20:02,454
Oh, no. Th-- Don't look at that.
That's not ready for prime time.
459
00:20:02,454 --> 00:20:04,289
That "Why" section has
a lotta different motives--
460
00:20:04,289 --> 00:20:07,417
No, no, th-th-that's not, yeah-- But this.
461
00:20:07,417 --> 00:20:10,462
This is my magnum opus.
The "How" board.
462
00:20:10,462 --> 00:20:12,631
Note the timeline.
463
00:20:12,631 --> 00:20:15,467
- This baby's airtight.
- It's beautiful.
464
00:20:15,467 --> 00:20:17,260
Although the-- Ah, forget it.
465
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:20,013
- [Mabel] No, what?
- Nothing. It--
466
00:20:20,013 --> 00:20:21,556
It's just th-the timing.
467
00:20:21,556 --> 00:20:23,516
Sazz left a voicemail at 11:07,
468
00:20:23,516 --> 00:20:26,353
but her body hit the incinerator at 11:19.
469
00:20:26,353 --> 00:20:28,480
That would mean someone
shot from the West Tower,
470
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,565
came all the way over here,
cleaned up the crime scene,
471
00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:32,776
and disposed of the body,
all in 12 minutes?
472
00:20:32,776 --> 00:20:36,029
It could totally happen. You just haven't
thought about it the way I have.
473
00:20:36,029 --> 00:20:39,157
In fact, that might be the secret
to my crime-solving ability.
474
00:20:39,157 --> 00:20:43,161
I'm able to channel the mind of a killer.
475
00:20:43,161 --> 00:20:45,080
You might wanna put that in the script.
476
00:20:45,872 --> 00:20:46,957
[Marshall]
Uh...
477
00:20:46,957 --> 00:20:49,334
You're still not getting it? All good.
478
00:20:49,334 --> 00:20:52,003
- Let me pitch the murder to you.
- [♪ music swells]
479
00:20:52,003 --> 00:20:53,463
Picture this.
480
00:20:53,463 --> 00:20:55,882
[♪ jazzy spy music playing]
481
00:20:55,882 --> 00:20:57,467
Our killer takes his place...
482
00:20:57,467 --> 00:20:58,843
- [cocks gun]
- ...or her place,
483
00:20:58,843 --> 00:21:00,971
and waits for the target
to come into view.
484
00:21:00,971 --> 00:21:04,182
- Minute one, our killer takes his shot.
- [gunshot, glass breaking]
485
00:21:04,182 --> 00:21:07,227
Can I just commit to male pronouns?
It'll be easier. Anyway...
486
00:21:07,227 --> 00:21:08,562
Boom.
487
00:21:08,562 --> 00:21:11,439
Minute two, he takes the stairs
488
00:21:11,439 --> 00:21:14,359
so as not to run into
anyone on the elevator,
489
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:16,069
but he's gotta be quick!
490
00:21:16,444 --> 00:21:17,904
Minutes three to six,
491
00:21:17,904 --> 00:21:20,448
our killer exits the West Tower
492
00:21:20,448 --> 00:21:22,784
and traverses the half-block
to the Arconia main entrance.
493
00:21:22,784 --> 00:21:23,910
[glove snaps]
494
00:21:24,911 --> 00:21:26,371
[pedestrian]
Oh! Brazzos!
495
00:21:27,414 --> 00:21:30,417
[Charles]
Just another face in a New York crowd.
496
00:21:30,417 --> 00:21:33,503
[♪ spy music continues]
497
00:21:35,297 --> 00:21:36,590
Minute seven,
498
00:21:36,590 --> 00:21:38,216
our killer enters the lobby
499
00:21:38,216 --> 00:21:41,094
and expertly distracts
the doorman on duty.
500
00:21:41,094 --> 00:21:43,722
[mimics bird calling]
501
00:21:43,722 --> 00:21:47,642
Why, that sounds exactly
like a black-capped chickadee.
502
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,062
What's a forest songbird
doing in my lobby?
503
00:21:53,690 --> 00:21:54,941
- [blows]
- [door opens]
504
00:21:54,941 --> 00:21:57,402
[Charles] Minutes 9 through 11,
he enters my apartment
505
00:21:57,402 --> 00:22:00,071
and removes any trace of the crime,
506
00:22:00,071 --> 00:22:02,407
a task made easier by
the high-quality cleaning products
507
00:22:02,407 --> 00:22:03,575
I have neatly organized
508
00:22:03,575 --> 00:22:06,578
in my high-quality
cleaning product cabinet.
509
00:22:06,578 --> 00:22:08,622
♪
510
00:22:14,628 --> 00:22:17,005
And finally, using what I assume
511
00:22:17,005 --> 00:22:18,381
is one of my missing suit bags,
512
00:22:18,381 --> 00:22:20,592
our killer hoists the body
over his shoulder,
513
00:22:20,592 --> 00:22:22,010
- [echoing snap]
- and disposes of it...
514
00:22:22,552 --> 00:22:26,097
causing the power to surge
at exactly minute 12.
515
00:22:26,097 --> 00:22:27,182
♪
516
00:22:27,182 --> 00:22:28,266
[gunshot]
517
00:22:28,266 --> 00:22:31,102
- [power whirring]
- [♪ music fades out]
518
00:22:31,102 --> 00:22:32,687
Stylishly done.
519
00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:36,566
Huh. I-I'm just saying,
in order for it to happen in 12 minutes,
520
00:22:36,566 --> 00:22:39,152
the person who did this would
have to be extremely fit.
521
00:22:39,152 --> 00:22:42,072
A gifted athlete in
the best shape of their life.
522
00:22:42,072 --> 00:22:44,032
You're describing our killer exactly.
523
00:22:44,032 --> 00:22:45,367
No, you're describing me.
524
00:22:46,534 --> 00:22:48,286
- I'll do it.
- Do what?
525
00:22:48,286 --> 00:22:51,248
The murder.
I can reenact it in 12 minutes.
526
00:22:51,248 --> 00:22:53,250
I don't think that's a great idea.
527
00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:55,710
[laughs] Mabel, Mabel, Mabel.
528
00:22:55,710 --> 00:22:57,963
You have no idea
what this body of mine can do.
529
00:22:57,963 --> 00:23:00,715
In 1981, I participated
530
00:23:00,715 --> 00:23:03,343
in a 24-hour kickline fundraiser.
531
00:23:03,343 --> 00:23:06,513
- Like a Rockette?
- Exactly like a Rockette.
532
00:23:06,513 --> 00:23:08,848
It was called
"Let's Kick Rickets to the Curb
533
00:23:08,848 --> 00:23:11,935
and If We Have Extra Send It to AIDS."
534
00:23:11,935 --> 00:23:13,562
We only had enough for rickets.
535
00:23:13,562 --> 00:23:16,314
Um, I-I'll test the theory.
536
00:23:16,314 --> 00:23:18,108
Or Marshall can.
537
00:23:18,108 --> 00:23:19,901
You don't have anything you need to prove.
538
00:23:19,901 --> 00:23:23,154
Who's proving anything?
I'm simply a man in his prime,
539
00:23:23,154 --> 00:23:26,950
looking to use his rock-hard bod
to prove a murder timeline.
540
00:23:26,950 --> 00:23:30,328
Oliver, just the same,
you have a lot of things
541
00:23:30,328 --> 00:23:32,330
that Jack Jonk doesn't.
542
00:23:32,330 --> 00:23:34,833
You're sweet, for one. Your...
543
00:23:35,375 --> 00:23:37,377
scarves and...
544
00:23:38,003 --> 00:23:41,339
Yes! And even if only 10%
of your stories are true,
545
00:23:41,339 --> 00:23:42,757
you've had an interesting life.
546
00:23:42,757 --> 00:23:46,052
Thank you, but this has
nothing to do with Jack Jonk.
547
00:23:46,052 --> 00:23:48,805
Now, here are your photos.
I have to locate my athletic wear
548
00:23:48,805 --> 00:23:51,474
and fly through this
killer's obstacle course.
549
00:23:51,474 --> 00:23:53,018
[♪ curious music playing]
550
00:23:53,018 --> 00:23:54,102
Bang!
551
00:23:54,102 --> 00:23:55,186
[sighs]
552
00:23:57,188 --> 00:23:58,857
Are you just gonna leave me up here?
553
00:23:58,857 --> 00:24:00,400
Do you want me to stop the clock?
554
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,194
No, just help me down.
I sunk 20 grand into these knees.
555
00:24:04,279 --> 00:24:06,364
[grunts, sighs]
556
00:24:06,364 --> 00:24:08,450
See you punks at the finish line.
557
00:24:10,118 --> 00:24:11,119
[Mabel sighs]
558
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:12,704
Okay.
559
00:24:13,079 --> 00:24:17,417
[bannister squeaking]
560
00:24:17,417 --> 00:24:18,543
- [thuds]
- [screams]
561
00:24:18,543 --> 00:24:21,046
♪
562
00:24:21,046 --> 00:24:22,172
[slurping]
563
00:24:23,381 --> 00:24:24,758
[Oliver yelps]
564
00:24:24,758 --> 00:24:25,926
[street chatter]
565
00:24:25,926 --> 00:24:27,135
[pedestrian]
Oh!
566
00:24:27,135 --> 00:24:29,846
Move it!
Kids on leashes should be illegal!
567
00:24:29,846 --> 00:24:31,056
I'm trying to do something here!
568
00:24:31,056 --> 00:24:32,140
- Get back!
- [mother gasps]
569
00:24:32,140 --> 00:24:34,851
Hey, hey! Nice outfit, jackass!
570
00:24:34,851 --> 00:24:37,812
- Yelling at children? Are you serious?
- [Oliver wailing]
571
00:24:37,812 --> 00:24:40,523
- [Oliver screaming]
- You cannot be serious!
572
00:24:42,567 --> 00:24:44,486
[Oliver panting]
573
00:24:44,486 --> 00:24:45,820
How am I doing?
574
00:24:45,820 --> 00:24:47,072
It's been 38 minutes.
575
00:24:47,072 --> 00:24:49,199
- What?!
- What happened to you, Oliver?
576
00:24:49,199 --> 00:24:52,535
[panting] Well, I got off to a good start.
577
00:24:52,535 --> 00:24:54,663
- No, you didn't.
- No, I did not.
578
00:24:56,122 --> 00:24:58,124
I've been on a journey.
579
00:24:58,124 --> 00:24:59,501
I saw things.
580
00:25:00,043 --> 00:25:01,461
I did things.
581
00:25:01,461 --> 00:25:03,672
[voice breaking]
I failed.
582
00:25:03,672 --> 00:25:05,382
I failed as an athlete,
583
00:25:05,382 --> 00:25:07,717
as a... movie character,
584
00:25:07,717 --> 00:25:09,094
as a fashion icon...
585
00:25:11,054 --> 00:25:13,473
as a guardian of the city's wildlife.
586
00:25:14,432 --> 00:25:16,142
[normal]
I'd rather not elaborate on that.
587
00:25:16,142 --> 00:25:18,353
- Did you punch a bird?
- I said I'm not elaborating!
588
00:25:18,353 --> 00:25:20,230
It's not your fault, Oliver.
589
00:25:20,230 --> 00:25:23,733
Nobody could have done that in 12 minutes
unless they were superhuman.
590
00:25:23,733 --> 00:25:26,820
The only thing holding this murder board
together is my timeline,
591
00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:27,988
and it's all wrong!
592
00:25:29,364 --> 00:25:32,576
What are you doing?
Oh, my God, you're rewriting my character!
593
00:25:32,576 --> 00:25:34,619
Don't take away my thumping brain!
594
00:25:34,619 --> 00:25:36,037
- No, I-I mean--
- [door knocking]
595
00:25:36,037 --> 00:25:37,330
Oh, thank God. I'll get it!
596
00:25:37,330 --> 00:25:39,833
[sighs] One little mistake,
and suddenly I'm thumpless!
597
00:25:39,833 --> 00:25:41,293
[door opens]
598
00:25:41,293 --> 00:25:44,045
- [door shuts]
- [wheels rattling]
599
00:25:44,838 --> 00:25:46,882
Oh, good. You're all here.
600
00:25:46,882 --> 00:25:48,341
I got your wardrobe.
601
00:25:48,341 --> 00:25:50,176
Gee, photo shoot.
602
00:25:50,176 --> 00:25:52,429
Reminds me of the time
I modeled for the, uh,
603
00:25:52,429 --> 00:25:53,972
great Robert Mapplethorpe.
604
00:25:53,972 --> 00:25:57,976
Uh, just Google, "Robert Mapplethorpe,
Lester Doorman."
605
00:25:57,976 --> 00:26:00,270
Of course, you won't recognize me
behind the gimp mask,
606
00:26:00,270 --> 00:26:03,648
but, uh, it's me in there.
Anyway, have fun.
607
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,193
- [door opens, shuts]
- I never thought I'd say this,
608
00:26:07,193 --> 00:26:09,946
but Oliver Putnam is not
up for a photo shoot.
609
00:26:09,946 --> 00:26:11,615
[Charles]
Me neither.
610
00:26:11,615 --> 00:26:14,075
Guys, we have to go to that photo shoot.
611
00:26:14,075 --> 00:26:16,369
[Charles]
Wow, Mabel, money has really changed you.
612
00:26:16,369 --> 00:26:18,288
One check and it's, "Hey, check me out."
613
00:26:19,164 --> 00:26:20,749
[sighs] No, look!
614
00:26:20,749 --> 00:26:23,126
It's the pictures you took
in the production office.
615
00:26:23,126 --> 00:26:25,420
This shoe print on that tacky mat
616
00:26:25,420 --> 00:26:27,923
matches the one from Dudenoff's apartment.
617
00:26:27,923 --> 00:26:30,342
The killer was up at
the production offices,
618
00:26:30,342 --> 00:26:33,220
which means they're probably
at the photo shoot.
619
00:26:33,220 --> 00:26:34,346
Shit...
620
00:26:35,096 --> 00:26:37,724
It's like I'm already watching
the sequel to my movie. [chuckles]
621
00:26:39,184 --> 00:26:41,269
♪
622
00:26:41,269 --> 00:26:43,688
- [shutter snaps]
- [indistinct chatter]
623
00:26:43,688 --> 00:26:45,774
[Tawny Brothers]
Oh, you're here.
624
00:26:45,774 --> 00:26:48,318
- This could be triggering.
- [Trina] Shoot.
625
00:26:48,318 --> 00:26:49,402
[camera beeping]
626
00:26:50,862 --> 00:26:52,113
[indistinct set chatter]
627
00:26:55,450 --> 00:26:56,451
[Oliver yelps]
628
00:26:57,619 --> 00:26:58,870
Just wait.
629
00:26:59,704 --> 00:27:00,705
[door opens]
630
00:27:01,873 --> 00:27:04,167
It's an honor to be
your stand-in, Putnam.
631
00:27:04,167 --> 00:27:05,627
You, too, Mr. Anaphylaxis.
632
00:27:06,711 --> 00:27:10,006
Yay! You made it! I'm so happy.
633
00:27:10,006 --> 00:27:11,675
Don't you love this concept?
634
00:27:11,675 --> 00:27:13,552
We have all of you multiplied.
635
00:27:13,552 --> 00:27:15,971
Then, we add mirrors.
636
00:27:15,971 --> 00:27:17,472
- [Oliver gasps]
- [Bev] It's so confusing,
637
00:27:17,472 --> 00:27:19,724
just like your podcast.
Check it out!
638
00:27:19,724 --> 00:27:21,059
Look at this.
639
00:27:21,685 --> 00:27:25,188
[♪ ominous crescendo]
640
00:27:29,526 --> 00:27:31,611
- [shutters snapping]
- [♪ runway pop music playing]
641
00:27:31,611 --> 00:27:33,113
Charlie's Angels.
642
00:27:33,113 --> 00:27:34,823
- Aah!
- [shutter snapping]
643
00:27:34,823 --> 00:27:36,866
Ron, Harry, Hermione.
644
00:27:36,866 --> 00:27:38,535
- [shutter snaps]
- [quietly] Harry Potter.
645
00:27:38,535 --> 00:27:40,662
- Hm? Oh yeah.
- [Oliver whooshing]
646
00:27:40,662 --> 00:27:42,330
Godfather 1, 2, 3.
647
00:27:43,873 --> 00:27:45,250
[Oliver growls]
648
00:27:45,250 --> 00:27:48,253
- Are you sure this plan is going to work?
- Absolutely not,
649
00:27:48,253 --> 00:27:51,298
but I didn't have a better idea
on such short notice.
650
00:27:51,298 --> 00:27:54,050
Let's take five. Charles, go to makeup.
651
00:27:54,050 --> 00:27:56,803
Tell them we need you to
look a little less... [high hum]
652
00:27:56,803 --> 00:27:58,221
They'll know what that means.
653
00:27:58,221 --> 00:27:59,306
This way, sir.
654
00:27:59,306 --> 00:28:01,892
[♪ "Contact" by BMGPM playing]
655
00:28:01,892 --> 00:28:05,061
[indistinct set chatter]
656
00:28:07,105 --> 00:28:08,523
[Eva]
Howard!
657
00:28:09,232 --> 00:28:11,359
- Howard! Ah.
- [chatter quiets down]
658
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,154
Why is this box of Eva Longoria Tacky Mats
659
00:28:14,154 --> 00:28:16,323
not unloaded and laid out?
660
00:28:16,323 --> 00:28:18,992
You think I want dust particles
in my nose all day?
661
00:28:18,992 --> 00:28:20,118
What are we making, Dune?
662
00:28:20,118 --> 00:28:23,955
[Howard Morris] Ms. Longoria, I will
lay out the Ms. Longoria Tacky Mats,
663
00:28:23,955 --> 00:28:26,791
but I will not be spoken to
like a common PA!
664
00:28:26,791 --> 00:28:30,420
I am an on-set documentarian
slash talent liaison.
665
00:28:30,420 --> 00:28:33,506
Great. Well, why don't
you liaise these mats?
666
00:28:34,633 --> 00:28:37,177
PA, lay out the mats.
Are you kidding me?
667
00:28:38,178 --> 00:28:41,056
Eva, thanks so much for playing
the crazy celebrity card.
668
00:28:41,056 --> 00:28:43,225
Oh, honey, I've asked for crazier things.
669
00:28:43,225 --> 00:28:46,019
In season eight of Desperate Housewives,
I told them I wouldn't return
670
00:28:46,019 --> 00:28:47,938
unless they legalized gay marriage.
671
00:28:47,938 --> 00:28:49,648
And guess what? They did.
[chuckles]
672
00:28:49,648 --> 00:28:51,233
You're welcome, gays!
673
00:28:51,233 --> 00:28:53,318
[indistinct set chatter]
674
00:28:56,196 --> 00:28:58,198
[♪ "Contact" continues playing]
675
00:29:00,659 --> 00:29:03,620
[gasps] Oh, I get the plan now.
676
00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:05,830
See, I'm a visual learner.
677
00:29:05,830 --> 00:29:07,582
Do I have all my Olivers?
678
00:29:08,166 --> 00:29:09,417
Oh.
679
00:29:10,585 --> 00:29:12,295
- Oliver.
- [Oliver sighs]
680
00:29:12,963 --> 00:29:14,506
Oliver.
681
00:29:14,506 --> 00:29:15,882
I'm Glen Stubbins!
682
00:29:15,882 --> 00:29:17,259
Stubbins, out!
683
00:29:17,926 --> 00:29:19,719
Zack and Oliver, get on your marks.
684
00:29:19,719 --> 00:29:21,388
Wait! Conference.
685
00:29:21,388 --> 00:29:23,139
♪ Eye contact ♪
686
00:29:23,139 --> 00:29:26,476
♪ Ooh, baby,
makin' eye contact ♪
687
00:29:26,476 --> 00:29:27,561
[sighs] Okay.
688
00:29:27,561 --> 00:29:28,979
[clears throat]
689
00:29:28,979 --> 00:29:31,147
Have you read the new changes
to the script? They're awful.
690
00:29:31,147 --> 00:29:32,566
What changes?
691
00:29:32,566 --> 00:29:34,067
For some reason, and don't ask me why,
692
00:29:34,067 --> 00:29:37,988
it seems as Marshall has done
a insecurity pass on your character.
693
00:29:38,613 --> 00:29:40,407
"Oliver stares at the murder board,
694
00:29:40,407 --> 00:29:43,451
"insecurely wondering who the killer is.
695
00:29:43,451 --> 00:29:45,036
"He flits around the room,
696
00:29:45,036 --> 00:29:48,248
an insecure Peter Pan
or an insecure Tinkerbell."
697
00:29:48,248 --> 00:29:50,000
Okay, you know, this is all about Jonk.
698
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,126
Jack Jonk?
699
00:29:51,126 --> 00:29:52,794
- Mm-hmm.
- [Glen Stubbins] Hey! Hey!
700
00:29:52,794 --> 00:29:55,088
- [laughs] That dude fucks.
- [Glen] Aah! Bastards!
701
00:29:55,088 --> 00:29:56,172
Hard.
702
00:29:56,172 --> 00:29:58,300
We did a gender-bent take on Snow White,
703
00:29:58,300 --> 00:30:00,135
and he jonked all seven of the dwarves.
704
00:30:01,177 --> 00:30:03,471
You could hear them
hi-ho-ing from his trailer.
705
00:30:05,891 --> 00:30:09,060
He's playing my girlfriend's
new love interest on her show.
706
00:30:09,060 --> 00:30:10,645
Ah, sorry.
707
00:30:11,897 --> 00:30:13,189
Well, [stammers] you know,
708
00:30:13,189 --> 00:30:15,859
maybe he didn't jonk all seven.
It could've been...
709
00:30:15,859 --> 00:30:17,235
could've been five.
710
00:30:17,235 --> 00:30:18,778
[Trina]
Try one back-to-back.
711
00:30:18,778 --> 00:30:21,865
You share a vertebrae
and a shameful secret.
712
00:30:21,865 --> 00:30:24,242
Shame--
A shameful secret. Okay.
713
00:30:25,952 --> 00:30:27,621
[shutter snapping]
714
00:30:27,621 --> 00:30:29,039
[Tawny]
Now, turn around.
715
00:30:29,789 --> 00:30:30,832
Wiener-to-wiener.
716
00:30:31,917 --> 00:30:34,628
- W--
- Stubbins! Show 'em.
717
00:30:34,628 --> 00:30:36,087
Penis...
718
00:30:36,087 --> 00:30:38,173
♪ Just by makin'... ♪
719
00:30:38,173 --> 00:30:40,258
[shutter snapping]
720
00:30:40,258 --> 00:30:42,636
♪ Eye contact ♪
721
00:30:43,553 --> 00:30:45,222
♪ Makin' eye contact... ♪
722
00:30:46,723 --> 00:30:47,974
Thank you.
723
00:30:48,892 --> 00:30:50,727
- Charles-- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
724
00:30:50,727 --> 00:30:53,230
- My bad, I'm sorry.
- [awkward chatter]
725
00:30:53,230 --> 00:30:56,233
[♪ curious music playing]
726
00:30:56,233 --> 00:30:58,276
What, are we dancing?
727
00:30:59,527 --> 00:31:01,029
Two people.
728
00:31:02,030 --> 00:31:03,323
That's it.
729
00:31:03,323 --> 00:31:04,532
♪
730
00:31:04,532 --> 00:31:07,118
My brain is back to thumping.
731
00:31:09,037 --> 00:31:10,038
Okay...
732
00:31:10,038 --> 00:31:13,041
[Marshall] The only thing that
gets you over imposter syndrome
733
00:31:13,041 --> 00:31:16,127
is actually doing the thing
you wanna be better at.
734
00:31:16,127 --> 00:31:19,589
Mabel, I figured out the how.
735
00:31:19,589 --> 00:31:23,134
It wasn't one person who did the murder.
It was two.
736
00:31:23,134 --> 00:31:26,346
One to shoot and one to clean up.
737
00:31:26,346 --> 00:31:29,015
- [♪ music building]
- Now, which two people coulda done it?
738
00:31:29,015 --> 00:31:32,936
[Marshall] Putting ideas together
till they make some kind of sense.
739
00:31:34,646 --> 00:31:36,690
Until you've got something that you did,
740
00:31:36,690 --> 00:31:39,568
something you figured out.
741
00:31:39,568 --> 00:31:41,236
[shutter snapping]
742
00:31:41,236 --> 00:31:43,405
Or it all makes less sense,
743
00:31:43,405 --> 00:31:45,991
and then it's time for another rewrite.
744
00:31:45,991 --> 00:31:48,076
[shutter snapping]
745
00:31:48,952 --> 00:31:51,705
[♪ music building]
746
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,961
Oh, Trina, he's off his mark.
Can you move him?
747
00:32:01,548 --> 00:32:02,549
[Oliver wails]
748
00:32:02,549 --> 00:32:03,633
[quietly] Thank you.
749
00:32:07,470 --> 00:32:08,471
[shutter snapping]
750
00:32:10,557 --> 00:32:12,642
♪
751
00:32:12,642 --> 00:32:13,727
[gunshot]
752
00:32:13,727 --> 00:32:14,811
[body thuds]
753
00:32:15,437 --> 00:32:16,438
[shuts door]
754
00:32:17,522 --> 00:32:19,274
[zipping bag]
755
00:32:19,274 --> 00:32:21,192
♪
756
00:32:21,192 --> 00:32:22,485
[shutter snaps]
757
00:32:22,485 --> 00:32:25,280
Oh, my God, you're totally right.
758
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,073
They could've done this.
759
00:32:27,073 --> 00:32:30,327
[♪ music building]
760
00:32:31,703 --> 00:32:32,704
[shutter snaps]
761
00:32:33,955 --> 00:32:36,583
Where's the other Brothers sister?
762
00:32:36,583 --> 00:32:37,667
[shutter snaps]
763
00:32:40,587 --> 00:32:43,924
[♪ music swells]
764
00:32:44,257 --> 00:32:45,425
- [gunshot]
- [people screaming]
765
00:32:45,425 --> 00:32:47,886
- [crew member] Gun!
- [Howard] Oh, my God, they've been shot!
766
00:32:47,886 --> 00:32:50,388
[people screaming and shouting]
767
00:32:50,388 --> 00:32:52,015
[fading out]
768
00:32:52,015 --> 00:32:55,101
[♪ solemn music playing]
769
00:33:16,373 --> 00:33:18,041
♪
770
00:33:43,149 --> 00:33:45,151
[♪ music fades out]
771
00:33:45,151 --> 00:33:48,154
[♪ fanfare playing]
59622
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