Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,712 --> 00:00:04,839
Lily: Hey, guys,
how's it going? Hey.
2
00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:06,174
I'm just gonna finish this.
3
00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:07,258
You...
4
00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:11,196
We just had dinner with
Stella's sister and her fiance.
5
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,540
They're getting
married before us.
6
00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:14,741
Okay, you know how you've dreamt
about your perfect wedding day
7
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:15,993
ever since
you were a little girl?
8
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,476
Yeah. Totally.
9
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,854
My sister is stealing
my dream wedding.
10
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:23,274
Down to every last detail,
on shelter island, atsunset_
11
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:27,862
Just down the beach from
our family's old summer house.
12
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,156
It's my dream wedding.
13
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,449
I'm gonna finish this.
14
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:36,120
The iamb here is
supposed to be great.
15
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,914
I'm a vegan.
16
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:40,625
I wish I could tune out
that moral voice inside me
17
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,044
that says eating
animals is murder,
18
00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:46,422
but I guess I'm just not
as strong as you are.
19
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,799
That's 'cause you need protein.
20
00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:51,010
I'll have the lamb.
21
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:57,600
Okay, new goal, I want our
wedding to kick her wedding's ass.
22
00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,894
I want our wedding to
take her wedding's head
23
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,605
and shove it in the toilet
and flush it, like, 20 times.
24
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:06,234
Ted, in high school, you
were her wedding, weren't you?
25
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,654
You know, she's always
trying to one-up me.
26
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,739
I mean, I love her, but
there's a little part of me
27
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:14,142
that kind of wishes this whole
thing would just fall apart.
28
00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:17,119
I hate him. I hate
him. I hate him!
29
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:20,164
God, this steak is so good! Four
days to go and he just runs off
30
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:23,793
with a vitamin consultant from whole
foods? I gave up make-up for him.
31
00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:25,586
I gave up showering for him.
32
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:27,546
I gave up shaving
my armpits for him.
33
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,715
Hard to imagine
where it all went wrong.
34
00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:31,777
And now it's so
close to the wedding...
35
00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:34,112
There's like bacon or something
in this dipping sauce. I love it.
36
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:35,221
I can't get any refunds.
37
00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:37,348
I'm gonna be out
thousands of dollars.
38
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,308
Older Ted: Kids, when
you're in a relationship,
39
00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:42,019
you develop a kind of
telepathy with your partner.
40
00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:45,398
Stella: What do you
think? We could help her out.
41
00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:48,484
Ted: No, Stella,
we should help her out.
42
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,612
Let's pay for dinner.
43
00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:56,575
Nora, don't worry. We got this.
44
00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:58,244
Stella: That's right.
45
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:01,205
We'll take over your wedding, pay
you back for everything you spent.
46
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,708
Ted and I will get
married this Sunday.
47
00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:25,771
Wow! We're getting
married this Sunday?
48
00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:27,857
Are we sure
we're ready for this?
49
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,568
Ted, I wasted years
trying to get Lucy's dad
50
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:34,322
to decide he was ready for this,
but he never got ready for this.
51
00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:36,365
That's why we never got married.
52
00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:38,659
Come on, let's just
be spontaneous.
53
00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:42,455
I used to dream that Tony
would be spontaneous like this.
54
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:46,584
Okay, I'm in. And
I'm also spontaneous.
55
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,215
I wish I hadn't done that.
56
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,011
Older Ted: Kids, morals
usually come at the end of stories,
57
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,722
but this one is so important,
I'm gonna tell you now.
58
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,725
Don't ever, ever invite
an ex to your wedding.
59
00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:06,354
If someone had given me that advice,
well, it would have changed everything.
60
00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,689
Come on, you've got to
come. It's my wedding.
61
00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:10,649
I can't. I'm in Tokyo.
62
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:14,070
It's my first week on the
job. I can't just take off.
63
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:17,907
Plus, I'm finally
doing serious news.
64
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,035
Older Ted: Robin was
doing serious news.
65
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,746
It was the number one
English news network in Japan.
66
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,909
Of course, the news is a
little different over there.
67
00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:34,924
The federal reserve board voted
to leave interest rates unchanged.
68
00:03:35,508 --> 00:03:37,593
It's my wedding.
You have to be there.
69
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,304
Okay. Okay.
I'll be there. I gotta go.
70
00:03:42,515 --> 00:03:43,557
Good evening.
71
00:03:46,102 --> 00:03:48,145
And I'm Robin scherbatsky.
72
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,607
Peace talks were stalled
once again in the middle east.
73
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:55,319
Despite a promising start
to the latest negotiations,
74
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:58,072
talks foundered
on security issues.
75
00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,574
She's in. Yes.
76
00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:02,743
All right, Ted, your
bachelor party, tonight.
77
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:06,080
I have got three of the most
physically and morally flexible
78
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,706
exotic dancers
you've ever seen...
79
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:08,833
Can't. There's no time.
80
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,018
Okay, I'll let you
know how it goes.
81
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,270
Marshall, we should really
rent the cars for tomorrow, huh?
82
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,421
Marshall: Sure.
83
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,092
What?
84
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,261
No "don't get married, Ted"?
85
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:23,055
No "you're making
a big mistake, Ted"?
86
00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:28,561
Barney Stinson, are you no longer
committed to the war on marriage?
87
00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:31,730
No, I just know a hopeless
cause when I see it.
88
00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:33,899
It's the same reason
I don't recycle.
89
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:38,946
Plus, Ted getting married is
in my best interest. You see,
90
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:43,033
lately I've been working on a
problem of the utmost importance.
91
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,537
I confess I was stumped.
92
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,540
Until one night I decided
to tackle it once and for all.
93
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:07,516
Then, at last,
I cracked the code.
94
00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,649
So you're back on Robin.
95
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,109
Hopefully.
96
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:21,155
I mean, this weekend is the best
chance ever to hook up with her again.
97
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,323
You'll never pull it off.
98
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,116
There's too many distractions.
99
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,327
The first drunk
bridesmaid you see,
100
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:30,039
youwlhave your head under her
dress like an old-time photographer.
101
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:32,416
Lily, don't cheapen this.
102
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:36,462
I don't want to sound
all mushy-gushy and romantic,
103
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,965
but this weekend, Robin is
the only woman I'm banging.
104
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,861
Older Ted: And so,
the day before our wedding,
105
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:46,138
Stella and I made the
trip up to shelter island.
106
00:05:46,222 --> 00:05:48,349
With everyone
else not far behind.
107
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,267
Zitch dog. Zitch dog.
108
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:56,106
This isn't exactly where I
pictured Ted getting married.
109
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,401
"The namasté yoga and
meditation collective."
110
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,405
I don't know about you guys, but
nama-stay here any longer than I have to.
111
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,574
All right, sweetie, go check in
112
00:06:05,658 --> 00:06:08,661
with that dirty hippie over
there and we'll get some drinks.
113
00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:13,958
So, what scotches you got?
114
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:17,586
Here at the center, we have
a very strict no-alcohol policy.
115
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,674
Great, and all the
meals are included, right?
116
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:24,260
Yep, and they're all 100% vegan.
117
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:28,556
No. I need alcohol.
118
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,141
I'm not gonna get
Robin with this stuff.
119
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:36,522
Look at this. "Berry
blaster brain revitalizer."
120
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:39,275
My god, some of these drinks
could actually make a girl smarter.
121
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,277
What sort of he" has
Ted brought us to?
122
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,611
There's no meat.
123
00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:44,154
There's no alcohol.
124
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,198
It gets worse.
125
00:06:46,282 --> 00:06:47,992
I'm 90% sure that guy
you were talking with
126
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,578
used to be lead singer
of the spin doctors.
127
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:56,250
Hey, guys, Stella and
I have a little problem.
128
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,961
All the programs look great.
129
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,922
I mean, it's not our names on
the front, but otherwise, really nice.
130
00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:04,341
Hey, I talked to Robin.
131
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:07,678
She's running a little bit late, but
she'll be here just under the wire.
132
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,013
You invited Robin?
133
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,472
Yeah, of course.
134
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,141
You never told me that.
135
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:14,268
I'm not sure how
I feel about that.
136
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,396
Can I help? You feel glad.
137
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,065
But you like Robin.
138
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:22,526
Yeah, but she's
your ex-girlfriend.
139
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,986
It's weird. It's not weird.
140
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,321
It is weird.
141
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:28,564
You don't get what it's like for a bride
to see her groom's ex at their wedding.
142
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,367
Robin: Stella.
143
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:35,205
Your new husband used to
nail me, like, three times a day.
144
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,294
Having exes around...
145
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:44,214
I don't know, it brings
up unresolved things.
146
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,736
How do you know that that spark won't
come back with your ex sitting out there?
147
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,180
Come on, we're just friends. Plus,
Robin and I already had our backslide,
148
00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:53,766
last Thanksgiving,
not even that long ago.
149
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,810
Did you place a large bet
against yourself in this argument?
150
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,479
She already got her ticket.
151
00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:02,816
Ted, it's important to me. I mean,
I would never invite Lucy's dad.
152
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,653
I wouldn't care if you did.
Tony's great. Let's invite him, too.
153
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:09,323
No, Tony is the last person
I want at our wedding, okay?
154
00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:13,452
And Robin is a close second.
155
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,414
Robin's probably about
to get on the plane.
156
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,917
Plus, she left a really
important job for this.
157
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:25,047
Spurred by environmental
concerns and high gasoline prices,
158
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:29,593
sales of hybrid vehicles have
risen 11% over the previous year.
159
00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:32,721
What should I do? I don't know.
160
00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:34,348
I kind of get the
"no exes" thing.
161
00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:37,559
Why ask a failed romance to come
and watch your successful one?
162
00:08:37,643 --> 00:08:40,455
You know, it's like inviting the Seattle
mariners to a world series game.
163
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:44,733
It's just weird for everyone.
What? No. Robin has to come.
164
00:08:44,817 --> 00:08:46,402
Right. She's like
my best friend.
165
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:47,611
Whoa!
166
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,405
Female friend.
My best female friend.
167
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:52,032
Hey! Whoa!
I don't care. Why fake it?
168
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,077
Dude, Robin has to be here.
169
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,328
She shouldn't come.
170
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,496
What are you...
171
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,248
Justice aldrin,
tie-breaking vote.
172
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,877
Okay, wouldn't feel
right without Robin.
173
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:06,004
But you don't
mess with the bride.
174
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,149
I'm gonna tell her not to come.
175
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,300
No, Ted.
It's the right decision, Ted.
176
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:13,721
This is gonna be, like, the worst
phone conversation of all time.
177
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:16,765
Ted, Ted, Ted.
Co-best man, I'm on it.
178
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,606
Hello? Robin, where are you?
179
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,984
Just heading to the airport.
180
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:30,070
Okay, we'll see you
soon. Have a great flight.
181
00:09:32,156 --> 00:09:36,535
Bad news. I couldn't reach
her. Robin's already on her way.
182
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:45,169
Okay, Robin's on her way.
You know what? I'm glad.
183
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,421
Exes should be allowed
to come to weddings.
184
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,590
I'll just tell Stella
she's got to deal with it.
185
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:53,135
I think you need to be more delicate
with Stella about this whole Robin thing.
186
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,470
What do you mean by delicate?
187
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:57,389
Bndes are under a lot of
stress before a wedding.
188
00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,975
I mean, of course, I
held it together pretty well.
189
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:03,854
You don't remember?
190
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:08,400
The rorist just told
me the roses are more
191
00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,944
light medium pink
than medium pink.
192
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,990
Light medium pink!
Everything's ruined.
193
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,161
Our wedding site
uses a gravity furnace
194
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,246
instead of forced-air heating.
195
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,457
That's the one
thing I cared about.
196
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,834
Why are we even getting married?
197
00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:33,050
Blobbity-blah. Wickity-wah.
Eeky, eeky, eeky, eeky whee!
198
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,596
After a while, it's all noise.
199
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,809
Poor Stella's had to jam months
of crazy into just three days.
200
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,018
So what do I do?
201
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:46,814
You wait for the next crisis,
you solve it, you're a hero.
202
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:50,108
Then you bring up the Robin
thing, but this time she'll say yes.
203
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,860
Yeah, but what if
there's no next crisis?
204
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,406
She's a bride. There
will be a next crisis.
205
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:00,828
There's a next crisis.
206
00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:02,496
Awesome! What is it?
207
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,833
My daughter, my own daughter
isn't coming to our wedding.
208
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,084
What?
209
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:08,812
Tony's supposed to
drive her up tomorrow,
210
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:10,276
but now he's being
all petty about me
211
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,005
getting married,
and he won't do it.
212
00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:14,925
It's been five years. Why
can't we just move on already?
213
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:18,220
So first thing tomorrow
I drive down, talk to him,
214
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:21,890
get him to let me drive Lucy
up, then, boom, crisis solved.
215
00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:24,643
Stella's happy. Robin
comes to the wedding.
216
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,312
Hey. You Barney?
217
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,564
Yes.
218
00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:31,191
Ihear you're a real
man whore, so listen up.
219
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:34,736
Tomorrow night I want to do
things so dirty and so depraved
220
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,573
that I forget that this was
supposed to be my wedding.
221
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,033
I'm kind of here with someone.
222
00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:41,118
Bring her.
223
00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:44,162
You're never going to make it.
224
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,517
Older Ted: So, the
morning of my wedding day,
225
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,878
I made the trip back to
Tony's house to get Lucy.
226
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,966
Tony!
227
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:58,552
Doing a little karate?
228
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,890
Sorry, sorry, man.
229
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:04,766
You just set off my
internal defense alarm.
230
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,352
You got to watch these
things. Stay alert, stay alive.
231
00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,563
Right. So what brings you here?
232
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,900
I thought you'd be off in some
honeymoon suite with my woman right now.
233
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,318
Not yet. Soon.
234
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,986
That's right,
tonight's the night.
235
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,281
Yeah! Man, you are
going to be sticking it
236
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,241
to the mother of my child.
237
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:23,493
Actually, I've already stuck
it to her plenty of times.
238
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,162
Why do I always
have to correct people?
239
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,788
Man, you and Stella.
240
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:30,334
You lucky dog. I could just...
241
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,797
I'm so happy for you guys.
242
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:40,093
Yeah. Hey, listen.
Here's the thing. Lucy_.
243
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,137
You can't take her. Tony, stop.
244
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:45,432
Look, this is a big
day for Lucy, too.
245
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,118
You're going to have to
put aside your own issues
246
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:50,145
and think about what's best for
her here. Whether you like it or not,
247
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:54,483
she really should be at her mother's
wedding. So, I'm taking Lucy with me.
248
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:02,032
You're right, man. You're right.
249
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:06,078
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's just, seeing you guys,
250
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,915
it's made me realize
everything I had.
251
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:13,627
Hey, hey, hey.
Let's stop hugging.
252
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,797
I'm sorry.
253
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,132
It's just, Lucy means
the world to me.
254
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,343
And I feel like I'm losing
her to this new family,
255
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,803
a family I'm not even a part of.
256
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,471
Come on, sure you are.
No, I'm not.
257
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,056
I wasn't eveninvhed
to the wedding.
258
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,641
Well, you are now.
259
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:28,725
Thank you!
260
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,188
Road trip.
261
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:35,399
Right?
262
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,029
Road trip two, back in the car.
263
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,827
So, today's the day.
You hydrating?
264
00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:50,789
Dear female, thank you for
your interest in Barney Stinson.
265
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,000
Your back is going to
look like a Jackson pollock.
266
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,004
I regret to inform
you that at this time...
267
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,673
I was a vegan for two years.
I need meat.
268
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,552
There are currently
no positions available.
269
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:06,471
I'm a yoga instructor.
Every position is available.
270
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,767
Your room, 20 minutes.
No foreplay.
271
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,896
I'm not going to make it, am I?
272
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,023
Not a chance.
273
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:23,905
Okay, just remember, let
me talk to Stella first, okay?
274
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:27,451
Mommy! Mommy! Ted invited daddy!
275
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,412
Hi, sweetie. I missed you.
276
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,581
Give me just a sec, okay?
277
00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:34,833
Tony: Hey. Hey, Tony.
278
00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:37,419
Hey. You invited Tony?
279
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:38,795
To our wedding?
280
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,882
Ted, we talked about this.
No exes at our wedding.
281
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,300
Why would you do this?
282
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,636
Boy, what did Ted do this time?
283
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,561
Ted, what is Robin doing here?
284
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:58,482
I thought I made myself
clear. No exes at our wedding.
285
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,234
To be fair, your ex is here.
286
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:02,569
You invited him!
287
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,112
Come on, it's not weird.
288
00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:05,530
It is weird.
289
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:08,408
It's like things are not
finished between you two.
290
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:09,743
And Tony...
291
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,244
I can't deal
with Tony right now.
292
00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,139
Can you please go out
there and tell him to leave?
293
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:15,248
You can make me the bad guy.
294
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:19,002
I'll go talk to Robin so she
knows it's nothing personal.
295
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,629
Okay.
296
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,715
Older Ted: And, kids, if I
had just let Stella talk to Robin,
297
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,717
this whole story might
have ended differently.
298
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,552
I understand.
299
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,596
I get it.
300
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,934
Announcer: For the first
time, Ted and Stella mosby.
301
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,937
Older Ted: And that's
how I met your mother.
302
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,105
Blah, blah, blah.
303
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,107
Is your dad finally
done yakking?
304
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,983
Now, come on,
who wants ice cream?
305
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,945
Older Ted: But I didn't.
306
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:47,739
Look, can you talk to Tony? Robin
flew all the way here from Tokyo.
307
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:49,407
I should talk to her.
308
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,493
Sure.
309
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:52,786
Okay.
310
00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,333
Hey.
311
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,252
Sorry about running
off like that. It's okay.
312
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,087
You would not believe
the trip I just had.
313
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,756
I was on a plane
for almost a full day.
314
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,883
But it is worth it
to see you get married.
315
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,778
How could I not be here...
You can't come to the wedding.
316
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,428
Thank god. What?
317
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:11,847
Ted, it's weird.
318
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,265
It's not weird.
319
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,016
It is weird.
Do you know how it feels
320
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,935
to be somebody's
ex at their wedding?
321
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,186
Robin. Stella.
322
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,232
Suck it, bitch. Iwin.
323
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,194
We broke up over a year ago.
324
00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:28,530
Yeah, but that's
not that long ago.
325
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,615
Watching you marry another woman
326
00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:33,952
isn't exactly something
I was looking forward to.
327
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,663
I don't know, I just thought
if I ever changed my mind
328
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,082
about marriage
and kids, it was...
329
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,501
It was nice to know
that you were there.
330
00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,503
So, I was your safety
school. How flattering.
331
00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,172
That's not it. It's just that...
332
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,923
Why are you bringing
any of this up?
333
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,383
There's nothing
between us anymore.
334
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:52,512
Well, maybe there is.
I mean, of course, there is.
335
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:56,850
That kind of stuffjust doesn't
disappear without a trace.
336
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,311
Look, I'm not just
another guest here, Ted.
337
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:02,606
Right. We used to date,
but we both moved on.
338
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,107
And, look,
we got what we wanted.
339
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,192
I'm getting married.
340
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,068
You got your dream job in Tokyo.
341
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,212
And they all
lived happily ever...
342
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,696
I quit my job.
343
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,282
You what?
I'm moving back to New York.
344
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:17,913
I thought I wanted that job, but I
want to come back to my real life.
345
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,583
And I think you should
go back to yours.
346
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,169
What's that supposed to mean?
347
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,965
Don't get married.
348
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,218
Look, you're rushing into this.
349
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:34,638
It's like you're trying to skip
ahead to the end of the book.
350
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,723
Ted, you're the most
romantic guy I know.
351
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:40,060
You stole a blue French horn
for me. You tried to make it rain.
352
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,854
I did make it rain.
It was a coincidence.
353
00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:47,692
But after all that, this is how your
great romantic quest comes to an end?
354
00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:50,070
You're just disappearing
into someone else's wedding,
355
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:54,574
someone else's house, someone
else's life without a second thought.
356
00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:57,744
That's not the amazing
ending that you deserve.
357
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,330
That's not Ted mosby.
358
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,670
I love Stella.
359
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,924
She's the one. If you
really feel that way,
360
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:16,513
I guess it's a good thing you're
not coming to the wedding after all.
361
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,315
Big fight? Yeah.
362
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:31,695
Here, it's on the house.
363
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,030
Just keep them coming.
364
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:38,159
Oh, god, do not
keep them coming.
365
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,749
Hey, Robin.
366
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:48,295
Barney. I am
having a horrible day.
367
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:52,007
I snuck some scotch in from the
duty-free store. You want to join me?
368
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,718
Yeah, yeah. Let's go to your
room. Far away from this room.
369
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,470
And we can knock it back.
They didn't get me a room.
370
00:18:57,554 --> 00:19:00,515
I was actually hoping
I could stay with you.
371
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:05,603
No problem. I just have
to straighten up little bit.
372
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,897
I've got some clothes
on the floor, and...
373
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,483
A naked girl tied
to your headboard.
374
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,736
Towels all over the bathroom.
It's a mess.
375
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,032
So, anyway, give me 10
minutes to get the place in order...
376
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,658
See you, Barney.
377
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:22,579
She...
378
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,589
Okay, let's do this.
379
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,467
Who the hell is that?
380
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,053
It's the girl
from the front desk.
381
00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:43,224
Man: Lovers, they try
382
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:47,354
they try to whip
the stars into compliance
383
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:51,024
older Ted: Kids, sometimes
you think you're living out one story,
384
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,860
but the truth turns out to
be something else entirely.
385
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:58,031
Man: Don't want to
knock the planets out of alignment
386
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,076
at the time, I thought
the story was about whether
387
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,620
Robin should be at the wedding.
388
00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:08,833
You're gonna wait a long time
389
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,169
wait a long time
390
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:14,339
if only I'd understood
what the real story was.
391
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:23,098
If you're looking
for an invitation
392
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,599
having exes around...
393
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:28,770
I don't know, it brings
up unresolved things.
394
00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:33,024
You're never gonna get one
395
00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:36,228
how do you know that that spark won't
come back with your ex sitting out there?
396
00:20:39,531 --> 00:20:41,658
It's like things are not
finished between you two.
397
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:48,998
I wasted years trying to get Lucy's
dad to decide he was ready for this.
398
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:53,795
Seeing you guys, it's made
me realize everything I had.
399
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:57,382
I used to dream that Tony
would be spontaneous like this.
400
00:20:58,341 --> 00:21:03,388
Wait a long time,
wait a long time
401
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:08,017
older Ted: Seriously, kids,
never invite an ex to your wedding.
31728
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.