All language subtitles for How.I.Met.Your.Mother.S04E03.1080p.BluRay.x264-WAVEY

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:05,423 Barney is crazy if he thinks this is gonna work. 2 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,550 I think it's gonna work. I hope it doesn't work. 3 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,635 Here he comes. 4 00:00:13,139 --> 00:00:15,433 You there, what's your name? Excuse me? 5 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,852 Your name, woman, what's your name? 6 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:20,146 Cindy. I knew it. 7 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:21,522 You're the Cindy, 8 00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:26,652 the one who can change everything, or spell our inevitable doom. 9 00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,529 Now listen to me, Cindy. 10 00:00:28,613 --> 00:00:33,242 I am Barney Stinson, and I am on an urgent mission from the future. 11 00:00:33,326 --> 00:00:34,410 The future? 12 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,370 The future, and I can prove it to you. 13 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:37,788 In exactly four seconds, 14 00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:40,374 the woman at that booth is going to slap that man. 15 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:45,379 Ow! What the hell? 16 00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:47,298 Wow! In a few minutes, 17 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:52,511 the young me from your time is going to come through that door. 18 00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:55,723 Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, 19 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,517 but in order to save the planet, 20 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,896 you need to sleep with him tonight. 21 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,022 What? I... 22 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:07,652 Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight, in whatever way he wants it, 23 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:11,155 or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming 24 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,115 that saves the human race. 25 00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:16,077 What are you talking about? I have no time to explain. 26 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:20,581 I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. 27 00:01:21,374 --> 00:01:25,419 Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away! 28 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,924 Okay, guys, the movers are coming in 14 hours. 29 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,860 We've got to get back upstairs and finish packing. 30 00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:35,346 You guys still aren't finished packing? How is this taking so long? 31 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,891 Hey, all the great memories of our 20s took place in that apartment. 32 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,601 It's not like throwing stuff in a box. 33 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:41,936 You start to reminisce. 34 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,396 Not me. The key? 35 00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:44,772 Throw stuff out, never look back. 36 00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:45,940 I'm moving to Japan. 37 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,167 It took me a half hour to pack. 38 00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:48,276 A half hour? 39 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:49,586 Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, 40 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,362 but a friend called me in tears. 41 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,114 Moving is really emotional, okay? 42 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:56,617 It is. I mean, everything is changing. 43 00:01:56,701 --> 00:01:58,345 I'm gonna be living in New Jersey with Stella, 44 00:01:58,369 --> 00:01:59,721 you guys will be in your new place. 45 00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:02,206 You're starting a new job in Tokyo. Hmm. 46 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,333 I mean, it's the end of an era. 47 00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:07,044 I think we should have a toast, but not our usual crap. 48 00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:10,381 Hey, Wendy, your most expensive bottle of scotch. 49 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:14,468 That's 50-year-old Glen McKenna, and it's $2,500. 50 00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:17,138 Excehent a bottle of that with beer chasers, 51 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:18,973 and what do you think, cancel the scotch? 52 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,641 Yeah. 53 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,811 Vodka rocks. 54 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:24,979 It's not gonna work. 55 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:28,607 Oh, my god! You're... oh, my god! 56 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,068 Can I buy you a drink? 57 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:36,282 Oh. Yeah, I suppose I have time for one drink 58 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,868 and 45 minutes to an hour of some other activity, 59 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,271 but after that, I have to get back 60 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:43,456 to a top-secret research project I'm working on. 61 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,666 Global warming? 62 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:48,919 My god! How did you know that? 63 00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:04,935 Hey, look at this. 64 00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:07,605 A photo from the first day we moved into this place. 65 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,108 So many great memories. 66 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:15,154 See? That is exactly the type of crap you should be trashing. 67 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,198 So you don't keep any photos? 68 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:20,826 No, they're like love letters or yearbooks or someone's ashes. 69 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,495 They just take up space. 70 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:25,081 Besides, Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk. 71 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:26,415 Why wouldn't she? 72 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,710 Oh, Ted, oh, sweetie. 73 00:03:29,794 --> 00:03:33,923 Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman. 74 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:35,716 All of your stuff is stupid. 75 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,009 Like what? 76 00:03:37,093 --> 00:03:40,679 Um... like anything you bought at a renaissance fair. 77 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:45,142 Hey, there's not enough mead in the world to make me get rid of my flail. 78 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:48,979 Oh, hey, Ted, since we're clearly not getting our security deposit back, 79 00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:51,232 I thought maybe you could reimburse me for my half. 80 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,901 Wait a second. Why should I have to pay more than you? 81 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,361 Because you treated this apartment 82 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:58,114 the way John bonham treated his central nervous system. 83 00:03:58,197 --> 00:03:59,698 That's not true. 84 00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:01,283 Exhibit a. 85 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,413 Hey. Hey. 86 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:06,496 What's that? 87 00:04:06,539 --> 00:04:09,417 A 1986 world book encyclopaedia. 88 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:11,252 It's exactly the one I grew up with. 89 00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:12,920 Encyclo-pay-dia? 90 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:16,507 Oh. You think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia. 91 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,008 It's a common mistake. 92 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:19,932 But if you look up that squished together "a-e" 93 00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,096 symbol in this here encyclopaedia, 94 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:26,350 you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the anglo-Saxon rune ash... 95 00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:35,192 You know, you're gonna have to pay-dia for that. 96 00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:40,322 But you never did. And then, there's exhibit b. 97 00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:48,831 Good morrow, fair gentles. Look what I won at the renaissance faire. 98 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,796 And you're also responsible for any damage Robin did 99 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,131 while she was your girlfriend. 100 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,633 Whoa! What damage did I cause? 101 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:01,653 Do you remember that night when you drank the 12er of molson 102 00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,929 and you got all super-Canadian? 103 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,393 Stanley cup, game 6, eh? 104 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:13,481 The rangers are about to be sorry they ever played shinny with the canucks. 105 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,065 Marshall: Hey. Hey, Robin. Yeah? 106 00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:17,789 I'll give you 20 bucks if you can shoot it through this front door. 107 00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:21,989 You're nuttier than a Tim horton's maple log. 108 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,282 Timmy ho! 109 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:27,161 That's it, Robin. Give me the stick. 110 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:29,830 I'll give you summer teeth. 111 00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:32,249 Some are here, some are there. 112 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,835 Robin, give me the stick. 113 00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:37,338 Take off, hoser. Men: Whoa! 114 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:39,006 Thatsifl hey, hey! 115 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,067 Get her, boys, get her! You want to scrap? I'll scrap! 116 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,176 Guys, come on! 117 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,344 Go america! 118 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:46,764 All right. All right, break it, break it up! 119 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:51,393 Ted, no! You never break up a girl fight! 120 00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:52,520 Neveh 121 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,609 Entirely Barney's fault. As, by the way, 122 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,111 isthe big scorch Mark over the fireplace. 123 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,075 Older Ted: Kids, to understand the story of the scorch Mark, 124 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,618 I first need to tell you the story 125 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,703 of the intervention for our friend Stuart. 126 00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:10,955 What's going on? 127 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,124 Stuart, this is an intervention. 128 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,003 "The alcohol changes you, Stuart. 129 00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:20,381 "It makes you a different person. 130 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:23,551 "And I'm in love with the man that I married." 131 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,636 Thank you. 132 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,639 This is just the push I need. 133 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:30,891 I love you guys. 134 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:36,230 Hey, hey! There's the birthday boy. 135 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:39,984 Time to let the party monster out of its cage, stewie! 136 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:42,987 Come on, buddy. 137 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,406 People don't want to see Bruce banner, dude. 138 00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:46,907 They want to see the hulk. 139 00:06:46,991 --> 00:06:50,160 Hulk. Hulk. Hulk. What? 140 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:59,837 That's what I get for skimming the evite. 141 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:04,466 Older Ted: Later that day, we celebrated our first successful intervention. 142 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:07,011 I'm really proud of us for helping Stuart. 143 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,389 Yeah, what an amazing, honest, human moment. 144 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,516 I agree. Yay us. 145 00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,769 Marshall, are you really gonna keep wearing that hat? 146 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,813 Yeah, it's been two weeks, Marshall. 147 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:22,860 Two awesome weeks. And heck, yeah, I'm gonna keep wearing it. 148 00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:30,784 Hey. 149 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,203 Marshall, 150 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,164 this is an intervention. 151 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,249 It's about the hat. 152 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:42,129 What? No. I have it under control, okay? 153 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,174 I can take it off whenever I want. 154 00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:48,594 "Dear Marshall, 155 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,971 "I do not like that stupid hat. 156 00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:53,849 "I want to beat it with a bat. 157 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:56,268 "Or maybe stab it with a fork. 158 00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:58,812 "It makes you look like such a dork." 159 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,410 Older Ted: After that, interventions became 160 00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,202 a pretty regular thing around our apartment. 161 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,406 Cor blimey. 162 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:12,201 This is a nice bloody surprise. What's this about, then? 163 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:16,872 Lily, it's about the weird, fake English accent. 164 00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,208 Bollocks. 165 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:21,877 I think we should... 166 00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,007 Spray tan? 167 00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:32,364 They reel you in with a coupon, and then you just get hooked. 168 00:08:32,388 --> 00:08:34,848 Oh, we know, sweetie, we know. 169 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,101 No, no, no, no, this is a new sweater. 170 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:43,023 What? The magic tricks. 171 00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:45,526 Specifically, those involving fire. 172 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,361 Magic tricks? 173 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,406 Guys, interventions are supposed to help people, 174 00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:54,034 not attack every little thing you don't like about them. 175 00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:58,706 I'm sorry, but that really steams me. That really burns me up! 176 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:04,128 I mean, I am filled with a white-hot rage! 177 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:11,468 Thank you. 178 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,514 Oh, shoot ismehhmhismehhmh 179 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,725 older Ted: And that's the story of the scorch Mark. 180 00:09:18,434 --> 00:09:19,560 Wait, that's weird. 181 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:21,061 When I was going through the closet, 182 00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:23,230 I thought I saw the intervention banner. 183 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:28,569 So, the banner burned up. Why is there a new one? 184 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:32,656 And there are sealed letters here from all of you that say "Ted." 185 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,492 Were you guys planning an intervention for me? 186 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,912 Oh, that. That was stupid. Yeah, just forget about that. 187 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,248 What was it for? The crocs? 188 00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:44,376 The hair product? Not Stella. 189 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,838 Oh, my god, this was about Stella. 190 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:53,761 I just said "not Stella." So maybe it was about your poor listening skills, Ted. 191 00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:56,263 What? It's out of control. See? 192 00:09:57,181 --> 00:10:00,142 You guys don't think I should marry Stella. 193 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,314 You guys don't think I should marry Stella. 194 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,233 Ted, we do. We're all really happy for you. 195 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:10,110 Yeah, like I said, it was stupid. 196 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:11,779 Well, obviously, it wasn't, 197 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:14,132 because we agreed not to have any more stupid interventions 198 00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:15,436 at our intervention intervention. 199 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,536 We're having too many interventions. 200 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:24,374 So, what was your big, serious problem with me and Stella? 201 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,378 Yes! Yes! In everyone's face! 202 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,464 You all said the future-Barney thing wouldn't work. 203 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,341 You told me I was crazy. 204 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,093 My shrink told me I was crazy. 205 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:39,515 Well, who's the narcissist with severe attachment disorder now, Dr. Grossbard? 206 00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,644 Intervention banner? What's that for? 207 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:44,978 Stella. 208 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,983 "Ted, icannot stand idly by..." 209 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,819 You've just been carrying that around? 210 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:55,531 Please, Ted? "I cannot stand idly by 211 00:10:55,614 --> 00:11:00,077 "while you make the biggest mistake any man can make. Getting married. 212 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:06,041 "Mark my words, this whole thing is gonna go up in flames!" 213 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:10,128 Oh, damn! I put the flame cue too early. 214 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:12,297 I had so many more important things to say, and... 215 00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:17,427 The point is, Ted, marriage is stupid. 216 00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:21,223 Every year, there are a million 217 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:26,228 new, hot 22-year-olds walking into bars, and call me "glass-half-full," 218 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,272 but I think they're getting dumber. 219 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,024 Oh, come on, Barney, even you aren't still gonna be 220 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,110 hitting on 22-year-olds when you're 80. 221 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:35,487 I accept that challenge. 222 00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:36,822 What challenge? 223 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:42,077 To prove to you that I will be exactly this awesome when I'm 80, 224 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:46,790 I will hook up with a 22-year-old while in my old-man makeup. 225 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,335 I didn't remotely challenge you to that. 226 00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:52,129 I mean, I definitely want to see it. 227 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,464 But I didn't remotely challenge you to that. 228 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,675 I want to hear the other letters. 229 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:59,636 Ted, this is ridiculous. We changed our minds. 230 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,722 And suppose you change them back? 231 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:04,141 Lily, come on, let's hear yours. 232 00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:11,690 "Gilbert's reading skills have improved drastically since..." 233 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:16,320 Wait, this is a letter I meant to send home with one of my kindergarteners. 234 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,571 Uh-oh. 235 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:22,159 Gilbert, are things moving too fast between you and a girl named Stella? 236 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:23,952 I wish. 237 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,791 Robin, could I hear yours? 238 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:39,384 "Dear Ted, it's encyclo-pee-dia, not encyclo-pay-dia. 239 00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:42,554 "Why do you always say things in the most pretentious way possible? 240 00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:47,142 "It makes you sound douchey, and that's douche-ee, not douch-ay." 241 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:50,771 Yeah, you already read that one at my pronunciation intervention. 242 00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,356 Where's the letter about Stella? 243 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,691 I didn't write one. I'm your ex-girlfriend. 244 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,736 I figured anything I said on the subject would sound catty. 245 00:12:57,861 --> 00:13:00,614 Plus, I'm hotter than her, so who cares? 246 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:03,659 Marshall? 247 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,369 Dude, it's water under the bridge... 248 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,912 Please. 249 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:17,798 "Dear Ted, Stella seems like a wonderful person. 250 00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:23,178 "But you don't know her well enough to get married. 251 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:24,822 "You certainly don't know her well enough 252 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,933 "to commit to raising a 7-year-old with her. 253 00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:32,354 "You're not doing her, her child or yourself 254 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:35,649 "any favors by rushing into this. 255 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,985 "Just give it some more time." 256 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,613 Dude, that was months ago, all right? 257 00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:43,532 That was before we got to know Stella, 258 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:47,202 and see how awesome she is and what a great couple you guys are. 259 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:50,163 That's why we decided not to even have that intervention. 260 00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:53,000 Thank you. Because I really need you guys to be on board with this. 261 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,418 And we are. 262 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:55,961 We hope you're not mad at us. 263 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:59,840 Of course not. I mean, it's not like what you said was crazy. 264 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,329 You had a lot of valid concerns. 265 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:06,013 Yeah, but concerns we have completely moved on from. 266 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:10,225 But you had a point. I mean, this whole thing has moved pretty fast. 267 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:14,187 Well, you know what? Maybe that's because when it's right, you just know. 268 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:18,608 Yeah, I guess, but we are still getting to know each other. 269 00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:20,235 And, Lily, maybe you're right. 270 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,446 Maybe Stella won't like any of my stuff. 271 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,158 Like the robot cookie jar. 272 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,220 This was, like, the first thing we bought for this place, remember? 273 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,787 Yeah, of course I do. 274 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,498 Marshall, my sensors indicate 275 00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:37,085 thatyour pecan-Sandy levels are dangerously low. 276 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,757 My collection of James Bond movies. 277 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,550 Remember? We watched them all in order, 278 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:47,179 and then Lily spoke in that weird English accent for, like, the next month? 279 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,722 It was sophisticated. No. 280 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,098 Nope. 281 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,852 My signed Bernie kosar cleats. 282 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,604 My elephant lamp. 283 00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,940 The English phone booth. My sombrero! 284 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,778 Ted, what are you doing? 285 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,321 Unpacking. 286 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,157 I am never leaving this apartment. 287 00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:17,709 No, no, Ted, stop unpacking. You're just freaking out. 288 00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:19,393 I'm not ready for all the responsibility. 289 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:23,548 And I'm certainly not ready to be a stepdad to a 7-year-old. 290 00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:26,885 I mean, if I get married and move to the suburbs, in the blink of an eye, 291 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,345 I've become an old man! 292 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:35,477 Why, hello, young lady. You want a butterscotch candy? 293 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:40,440 What do you mean, "nothing in common?" We're both seniors. 294 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:47,280 You're cute. How old are you? 295 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:50,200 How old are you? 296 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:57,415 Okay, Ted has officially snapped. 297 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,668 There are moving men coming in 10 hours. 298 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:03,755 His fiancée is waiting for him in New Jersey. We have to do something. 299 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,215 I've got this. 300 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:09,845 Hey, bud? 301 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,012 Hey. 302 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,490 Why don't you come here for a minute? 303 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:14,015 What? 304 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,769 Look, I want you to know this is all totally normal. 305 00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:21,231 Big transitions can be scary, and cold feet, 306 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,150 well, they're just part of the deal. 307 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:26,862 So how about you give me the knife? 308 00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:29,156 Give me the knife. 309 00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,574 Come on. 310 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,536 So I can start unpacking, too. 311 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,621 I'm staying here right by your side forever, buddy! 312 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:37,747 Yeah! Yeah! 313 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:38,999 Marshall! 314 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:41,960 Lily, our lives have been good here. 315 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,712 That's why we've been putting off packing. 316 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:47,299 Because, subconsciously, we both know that it would be stupid to leave. 317 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:50,468 It's safe and warm here. There's a bar downstairs 318 00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,304 and a cookie robot in the kitchen. 319 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:54,139 This is my home, and I'm never leaving! 320 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,390 Listen to you. 321 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:58,059 You sound like that fat, dweeby kid at camp. 322 00:16:58,143 --> 00:16:59,811 "Mom, dad, I want to come home. 323 00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:02,689 "The cool kids are playing keep away with my inhaler." 324 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,567 I can't believe my dad read that letter at our wedding. 325 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,152 Marshall, you can't do this to Lily. 326 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,362 Yes, I know your new place has had some problems, 327 00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:12,782 with the slanted floors and the nearby sewage treatment plant, 328 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:15,285 but you're gonna turn it into a great home. 329 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,369 Tell him, lin. 330 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,872 It's a black hole where dreams go to die. 331 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,415 I'm not moving, either. 332 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,875 Oh, come on! Yes! 333 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,002 Okay, you guys finish unpacking. 334 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:26,963 I'm gonna go bake some cookies to fill r2-sweet tooth. 335 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,383 Oh, my god, look at you cowards! 336 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:34,596 So afraid of any kind of change. So terrified of anything new. 337 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:38,391 So desperate to cling to anything comfortable and familiar. 338 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,310 I can't move to Japan. 339 00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:41,811 Yes! Whoa! 340 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:46,316 What was I thinking? It's so far away and I don't speak the language. 341 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,652 I don't even have any good pictures of you guys. 342 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,445 Oh, sweetie. 343 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:53,365 Everybody says change is so great, right? 344 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:54,908 But what's so great about change? 345 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,702 Hey, who wants to walk down to our same old bar, 346 00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:00,080 sit in our regular booth and order the usual? 347 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,164 Yeah! 348 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,208 The usual! My favorite! 349 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,879 Oh, my god. 350 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:15,345 Well, well, well. 351 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:19,099 Ibeheve someone owes me $200. 352 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:21,309 Barney, this was never a bet. Nobody... 353 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:25,272 This proves that I will be this awesome when I'm 80. 354 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,357 Arthritis-five. 355 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,945 I'm moving to New Jersey. 356 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,029 What? 357 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:36,408 And you and Marshall should move to your new place, and Robin should go to Japan. 358 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:40,036 Because we're gonna get older whether we like it or not, 359 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:43,957 so the only question is, whether we want to get on with our lives 360 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,711 or desperately cling to the past and end up like that? 361 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,462 You mean awesome? 362 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:54,426 I'm 80, dude, and I'm making out with a 22-year-old. 363 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,554 Take me to your place, chéfi. 364 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,764 I want to see your world war ii medals. 365 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:02,559 In a minute, mon petit. 366 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,020 All right, so that doesn't count. 367 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,271 What? Why? 368 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:09,983 She's French. That's like playing tennis with the net down. 369 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,278 You know what? I'll cover the security deposit. 370 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:16,323 I'm glad to, because every dent in that place 371 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,742 represents a memory that I'll Cherish forever. 372 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,160 But on one condition. 373 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:23,663 We all put aside 10 bucks every week for the next year, 374 00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:26,958 and we come back here and we buy that 50-year-old scotch, 375 00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:30,754 and we toast the incredible life-changing year we've all had. 376 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,630 Get out of our booth. 377 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,970 Me with my new family, Marshall and Lily in their new apartment, 378 00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:42,349 and Robin as the number-one English-speaking journalist 379 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:47,520 in the pacific rim, visiting us here in New York to celebrate this day, 380 00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:48,730 the day we closed 381 00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:52,692 an incredible chapter in our lives, only to open up a new one. 382 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,944 Um. I think I left my cell... 383 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,446 Get out of here! 384 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:01,868 Older Ted: And one year later, that's exactly what we did. 385 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:06,373 And so, let's raise a glass of $2,500 scotch for one hell of a year. 386 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,457 Barney: Hmm. 387 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,046 Amazing. That's unbelievable. 388 00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:16,841 It's kind of smoky, with a hint of aged cedar, and... 389 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:19,070 Do you guys taste the difference between this and $10 scotch? 390 00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:20,136 Not at all. No difference. 391 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:21,638 I want to cut mine with red bull. 392 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,098 Oh, Wendy, will you take a picture? 393 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,432 Sure. 394 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,560 Older Ted: A lot of things did change that year, 395 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,312 but some things stayed the same. 396 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:33,691 So, what do you say we move this party upstairs to the apartment? 397 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,318 Yeah. Great idea. 398 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:46,246 What the... 399 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,707 Barney, this is an intervention. 400 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,211 I'm sorry, I can't hear you. 401 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,672 All right, enough with the old-man bit. 402 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:58,216 What about the old sand pit? 403 00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,843 Let it go. 404 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:03,513 Let it snow? I love that old ditty! 405 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,558 I'm getting my flail. 406 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,726 You're setting sail? 31663

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.