subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Deadpool.and.Wolverine.2024.1080 eng

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional) Download

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian Download

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay Download

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,482 --> 00:00:39,524 That logo music just gets you pumped. Right? 2 00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:42,399 I'm sorry. I just, I'm excited to be here. It's been a while. 3 00:00:42,566 --> 00:00:45,399 You know, for a long time, I wasn't sure I'd ever be back. 4 00:00:45,566 --> 00:00:46,524 Disney bought Fox... 5 00:00:46,691 --> 00:00:49,441 there was a whole boring rights issue, blabbity-blabbity-blah. 6 00:00:49,607 --> 00:00:52,357 But then, it turned out, they wanted me. 7 00:00:52,524 --> 00:00:54,941 The one guy who shouldn't even have his own movie... 8 00:00:55,107 --> 00:00:56,691 much less a franchise. 9 00:00:57,232 --> 00:00:59,357 Marvel's so stupid. 10 00:01:00,107 --> 00:01:02,107 Look, we know the title of this thing. So... 11 00:01:02,274 --> 00:01:03,607 I know what you're wondering. 12 00:01:03,774 --> 00:01:07,607 How are we gonna do this without dishonoring Logan's memory? 13 00:01:08,232 --> 00:01:09,441 And I'll tell you how. 14 00:01:10,566 --> 00:01:11,399 We're not. 15 00:01:13,399 --> 00:01:15,399 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 16 00:01:15,566 --> 00:01:17,816 Wolverine is not dead. 17 00:01:17,982 --> 00:01:20,941 Sure, it made for a perfect ending to a very sad story. 18 00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:24,274 But that's not how regenerative healing factors work. 19 00:01:24,441 --> 00:01:27,816 You think I wanna be out here in beautiful downtown North Dakota... 20 00:01:27,982 --> 00:01:30,816 digging up the one and only Wolverine? No, thank you. 21 00:01:31,274 --> 00:01:33,607 But the fate of my entire world is at stake. 22 00:01:33,774 --> 00:01:38,482 He may not be living his best life, but he sure as hell ain't dead. 23 00:01:43,982 --> 00:01:44,982 Bingo. 24 00:01:45,774 --> 00:01:46,774 Yahtzee. 25 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:52,941 Yes, yes, yes. 26 00:01:56,524 --> 00:01:57,524 Damn it! 27 00:01:58,607 --> 00:02:01,232 Son of a bitch! 28 00:02:03,024 --> 00:02:04,107 You... 29 00:02:06,566 --> 00:02:09,816 Christ. Motherfucker! 30 00:02:09,982 --> 00:02:11,524 My world is fuck... 31 00:02:12,691 --> 00:02:13,982 That was weird. 32 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:15,857 I'm much calmer now. 33 00:02:17,107 --> 00:02:19,941 Look, I'm not a man of science. 34 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:22,732 But you seem incredibly passed away. 35 00:02:26,524 --> 00:02:28,066 But it's good to see ya. 36 00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:31,149 I gotta be honest, I've always wanted to ride with you, Log. 37 00:02:31,316 --> 00:02:36,274 You and me getting into it. Deadpool and Wolverine just fuckin' shit up. 38 00:02:36,441 --> 00:02:39,607 Can you imagine the fun, the chaos... 39 00:02:39,774 --> 00:02:40,732 the residuals? 40 00:02:41,941 --> 00:02:42,982 "G'day, mate. 41 00:02:43,149 --> 00:02:44,816 "There's nothing that'll bring me back to life faster... 42 00:02:44,982 --> 00:02:47,441 "than a big bag of Marvel cash." 43 00:02:49,232 --> 00:02:50,274 Me too, Hugh. 44 00:02:51,024 --> 00:02:53,232 But, no. No, no, no. 45 00:02:54,816 --> 00:02:59,566 You had to get all noble and die for real. Goddamn it! 46 00:03:01,274 --> 00:03:03,357 I could really use your help right now. 47 00:03:14,441 --> 00:03:15,274 Wait! 48 00:03:16,441 --> 00:03:18,066 I'm warning you, I'm not alone. 49 00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,691 Wade Winston Wilson... 50 00:03:20,441 --> 00:03:23,149 you are under arrest by the Time Variance Authority... 51 00:03:23,316 --> 00:03:25,149 for too many crimes to list. 52 00:03:25,316 --> 00:03:26,149 Come out... 53 00:03:26,316 --> 00:03:27,649 and we'll extend you the courtesy... 54 00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,899 - of taking you in one piece. - Death by day-player. 55 00:03:30,066 --> 00:03:30,982 Last chance. 56 00:03:31,399 --> 00:03:34,191 Throw out your weapons and come out peacefully. 57 00:03:34,816 --> 00:03:36,649 I'm not gonna give you my weapons... 58 00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:38,857 but I promise not to use them. 59 00:03:39,899 --> 00:03:42,524 There are two hundred and six bones in the human body. 60 00:03:42,691 --> 00:03:44,857 Two hundred and seven if I'm watching Gossip Girl. 61 00:03:45,816 --> 00:03:47,774 Here we go. Maximum effort. 62 00:03:55,107 --> 00:03:57,857 Okay, peanut. Guess we're getting that team up after all. 63 00:05:07,857 --> 00:05:09,691 Maradona from outside the box! 64 00:05:10,149 --> 00:05:12,232 {\an8}Goal! 65 00:05:59,857 --> 00:06:01,107 Come on, big fella. 66 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,607 I am soaking wet right now. 67 00:06:45,899 --> 00:06:47,899 To be clear, I'm not proud of any of this. 68 00:06:48,066 --> 00:06:51,941 The wanton violence, the whiff of necrophilia. It isn't who I am. 69 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,441 It isn't who I wanna be. 70 00:06:53,607 --> 00:06:54,857 Who I wanna be? 71 00:06:55,024 --> 00:06:56,607 Well, to help you understand that... 72 00:06:56,774 --> 00:06:57,816 I've gotta take you back. 73 00:06:57,982 --> 00:07:00,566 A little joyride I took through space and time... 74 00:07:00,732 --> 00:07:03,274 to the day that changed everything. 75 00:07:15,399 --> 00:07:17,024 {\an8}I can't believe I'm finally here. 76 00:07:17,191 --> 00:07:19,732 {\an8}I've waited for this moment for so long. 77 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,191 Thank you, sir, for seeing me. 78 00:07:24,274 --> 00:07:26,149 I firmly believe... 79 00:07:26,316 --> 00:07:27,607 that my services could be of... 80 00:07:27,774 --> 00:07:30,524 great use to your organization. Now I know... 81 00:07:30,691 --> 00:07:32,982 I was caught smashturbating in the lobby of Stark Tower... 82 00:07:33,149 --> 00:07:34,357 - but I can assure you that... - Smashturbating? 83 00:07:34,524 --> 00:07:35,774 I'm sorry, what, what was that? 84 00:07:35,941 --> 00:07:39,149 No, I'm sorry. That, that's when you get those toy... 85 00:07:39,316 --> 00:07:41,982 Hulk hands, right? And then you just, you look down, and you just... 86 00:07:43,316 --> 00:07:45,899 you brace yourself, and you ravage the midsection. 87 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,566 - Pinch the... Yeah. Okay. - I get it. Okay, thank you. 88 00:07:47,732 --> 00:07:49,607 - The picture's painted. - You get the gist. 89 00:07:49,774 --> 00:07:51,941 What exactly brings you here today? 90 00:07:52,107 --> 00:07:54,816 Why am I... Wow. Okay. 91 00:07:54,982 --> 00:07:56,857 I care. 92 00:07:57,107 --> 00:07:59,566 I know I turn everything into a joke, but I... 93 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:04,274 I care, and I, I wanna use that feeling... 94 00:08:05,316 --> 00:08:07,191 for something important. 95 00:08:07,607 --> 00:08:08,941 I, I wanna matter. 96 00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:13,566 I need to show my girl that I matter. 97 00:08:14,941 --> 00:08:15,941 And... 98 00:08:16,649 --> 00:08:18,649 you know, I feel like I'm wasting the good stuff here. 99 00:08:18,816 --> 00:08:20,732 - Is the man not gonna be joining us? - The man? 100 00:08:20,899 --> 00:08:23,024 Yeah. I should save this if he's gonna... 101 00:08:23,566 --> 00:08:25,441 As, as far as you're concerned right now, I'm the man. 102 00:08:25,607 --> 00:08:26,732 - No. - The man is me. 103 00:08:27,149 --> 00:08:30,107 I am the man in this circumstance. 104 00:08:30,941 --> 00:08:32,899 He doesn't do this kind of thing anymore. 105 00:08:33,066 --> 00:08:33,899 - Cameos? - Meetings. 106 00:08:34,066 --> 00:08:35,606 - Meetings. - Entry-level meetings. 107 00:08:35,774 --> 00:08:36,566 Entry-level? 108 00:08:36,731 --> 00:08:38,566 Aren't you the chauffeur... 109 00:08:38,731 --> 00:08:40,731 - maybe? - I... Common misconception. 110 00:08:40,899 --> 00:08:43,981 - Okay. - I did begin my career as Mr. Stark's driver. 111 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,149 - Okay. - Quickly pivoted to... 112 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,691 - Chauffeur. - ...the Head of Security. 113 00:08:46,857 --> 00:08:48,691 The Head of... Of course, yes, yes, yes. 114 00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:51,732 And why I am vetting your résumé. 115 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,982 You seem to have left out whether or not you had... 116 00:08:54,149 --> 00:08:55,649 any experience as a member of a team. 117 00:08:55,816 --> 00:08:58,024 Could you maybe add a little bit of perspective there? 118 00:08:58,191 --> 00:09:00,357 No, yes, of course. I was Special Forces... 119 00:09:00,524 --> 00:09:03,024 - Okay. - but I was... Mainly, I was team leader... 120 00:09:03,191 --> 00:09:04,274 founder, really, of X-Force. 121 00:09:04,441 --> 00:09:06,357 Sadly, they, they all perished in action though. 122 00:09:06,524 --> 00:09:07,816 How exactly did that happen? 123 00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,857 Well, the police say gravity, but if... 124 00:09:10,024 --> 00:09:10,857 Just between us... 125 00:09:11,024 --> 00:09:12,607 - they didn't test well in the focus group. - I see. 126 00:09:12,774 --> 00:09:14,524 - Particularly Cable. - X-Force. 127 00:09:14,691 --> 00:09:16,566 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, I can see this isn't going well. 128 00:09:16,732 --> 00:09:18,107 Please stop writing. Look, I, I... 129 00:09:18,274 --> 00:09:20,107 I'm just... I wanna be an Avenger. 130 00:09:21,857 --> 00:09:23,607 I wanna be an Avenger. 131 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:26,899 Why do you wanna be an Avenger? 132 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:30,399 Look around you. I mean, they're the, they're the best of the best. 133 00:09:30,566 --> 00:09:32,357 And, and what they do matters. 134 00:09:32,524 --> 00:09:34,774 I need to be an Avenger. 135 00:09:35,066 --> 00:09:38,649 Sir, my girl has kinda had it with my shtick, and I, if I don't, you know... 136 00:09:38,816 --> 00:09:41,441 turn things around and do something with my gifts... 137 00:09:41,607 --> 00:09:43,149 I don't think it's gonna really work out for me... 138 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,566 and I wouldn't blame her. 139 00:09:45,982 --> 00:09:49,982 Avengers are a very unique group of superheroes... 140 00:09:50,232 --> 00:09:51,357 that stand for something... 141 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:54,107 more than just fighting and wearing costumes. 142 00:09:54,274 --> 00:09:57,191 I mean, people look up to us. Kids look up to us. 143 00:09:57,357 --> 00:09:58,566 - They... - I'm sorry. "Us?" 144 00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,482 I wasn't aware that you were an Avenger. 145 00:10:01,274 --> 00:10:02,732 - Avengers-adjacent, technically. - Oh, wow. 146 00:10:02,899 --> 00:10:05,941 What's your superpower? Is it parallel parking? I am so sorry. 147 00:10:06,441 --> 00:10:07,691 That was cruel. 148 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,982 I lash out when I'm nervous. Won't happen again. 149 00:10:10,149 --> 00:10:11,441 - Let's cut to the chase. - Please. 150 00:10:11,607 --> 00:10:12,941 You just said moments ago... 151 00:10:13,107 --> 00:10:17,024 that you wanted to be an Avenger because you need it. 152 00:10:17,524 --> 00:10:18,774 Yes, sir, I do. 153 00:10:18,941 --> 00:10:21,774 But the Avengers don't do the job because they need it. 154 00:10:21,941 --> 00:10:23,857 They do the job because people need them. 155 00:10:25,066 --> 00:10:26,482 Do you see the distinction? 156 00:10:28,274 --> 00:10:29,732 Yes, sir. 157 00:10:30,566 --> 00:10:32,107 Please, Mr. Hogan. 158 00:10:32,274 --> 00:10:35,524 I don't wanna spend the rest of my life like an annoying one-trick pony. 159 00:10:38,399 --> 00:10:39,399 All right. 160 00:10:40,441 --> 00:10:42,024 Oh, my God, you're standing. 161 00:10:42,191 --> 00:10:43,524 Yeah, now's the time that we stand. 162 00:10:43,691 --> 00:10:44,524 Damn it. 163 00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:46,149 Now, the problem might be that you're... 164 00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:48,566 reaching a little, little too high. 165 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:51,149 Aim for the middle, and you'll never miss. 166 00:10:51,316 --> 00:10:53,482 Right? I think you got a good heart. I believe what you're saying. 167 00:10:54,399 --> 00:10:57,524 But not everybody's the world-saving type. I'm not, and I'm happy. 168 00:10:58,232 --> 00:10:59,941 Right? I found my place. 169 00:11:00,774 --> 00:11:02,024 Find your place. 170 00:11:03,232 --> 00:11:04,607 - All right? Get back out there. - Mm-hmm. 171 00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:08,191 - We'll keep an eye on you. Good luck. - Okay. 172 00:11:11,732 --> 00:11:13,649 Fetch the car. I wanna hit Shake Shack. 173 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,857 Rejection makes me hungy. 174 00:11:16,691 --> 00:11:18,232 - Really? No? - No, no. Please. 175 00:11:18,399 --> 00:11:20,982 - Yeah, no, no, no. Okay, thank you. - Oh, okay. 176 00:11:23,191 --> 00:11:26,274 You know what they say. When one door closes... 177 00:11:27,607 --> 00:11:28,649 your locker at work opens. 178 00:11:38,982 --> 00:11:42,024 Now let's go sell some certified pre-owned vehicles, motherfu... 179 00:11:44,482 --> 00:11:47,441 Technically, the, the Carnival's not a minivan. 180 00:11:48,691 --> 00:11:49,691 It's an MPV. 181 00:11:49,857 --> 00:11:51,441 So how does the Kia compare to... 182 00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:52,899 - the Honda Odyssey? - The Odyssey? 183 00:11:53,066 --> 00:11:55,607 That's a great question. It doesn't fucking suck. 184 00:11:56,274 --> 00:11:58,482 You know, you can answer the question without swearing. 185 00:11:58,649 --> 00:12:00,566 I'm sorry, Tammy, I don't, I don't have kids. 186 00:12:01,274 --> 00:12:02,857 Not that I haven't dreamt of that... 187 00:12:03,024 --> 00:12:05,066 but I don't have a lot of vaginal sex. 188 00:12:08,566 --> 00:12:09,941 {\an8}You'll get 'em next time, pal. 189 00:12:10,107 --> 00:12:12,566 And look, you can always go back to superhero-ing. 190 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,607 I mean, I know I'd like to see you back in the suit. 191 00:12:15,316 --> 00:12:17,732 I don't keep it in my locker so that I can wear it. 192 00:12:18,149 --> 00:12:20,649 I keep it in my locker in case we need to saddle up again. 193 00:12:20,816 --> 00:12:23,691 Hey, hey, hey. What? What is that doing in there? 194 00:12:24,024 --> 00:12:24,857 I'm done. 195 00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:27,566 I'm done. 196 00:12:28,566 --> 00:12:30,566 And I'm fine with being done. 197 00:12:30,732 --> 00:12:32,232 Look, is sales the best match? 198 00:12:32,399 --> 00:12:33,232 Probably not. 199 00:12:33,399 --> 00:12:36,774 Is this the life that I always imagined for myself? Fuck no. 200 00:12:37,732 --> 00:12:40,357 But this is the right fit for me, Sugar Bear, it is. 201 00:12:40,649 --> 00:12:42,066 Okay, Mr. Wilson. 202 00:12:42,441 --> 00:12:46,191 I'm just saying, once a month, we could go on a little mission. 203 00:12:46,357 --> 00:12:48,857 We're human beings. We crave purpose. 204 00:12:49,024 --> 00:12:50,691 After all, we're Deadpool. 205 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:54,816 Please stop saying that. We're not Deadpool. I'm not even Deadpool anymore. 206 00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:58,607 Well, if you're gonna have a midlife crisis, go big. 207 00:12:58,774 --> 00:12:59,774 A few years ago... 208 00:12:59,941 --> 00:13:02,941 a friend of mine got his nipples pierced with a titanium chain... 209 00:13:03,107 --> 00:13:06,066 that goes down and attaches to his Van Johnson. 210 00:13:10,107 --> 00:13:13,232 Are, are you feeling grumplestiltskin 'cause it's your birthday? 211 00:13:15,232 --> 00:13:16,066 What? 212 00:13:17,066 --> 00:13:17,899 No. 213 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:19,899 No. 214 00:13:23,524 --> 00:13:25,274 Surprise! 215 00:13:25,566 --> 00:13:27,941 Hey, you guys are lucky I'm not armed. 216 00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:29,774 Get in here. 217 00:13:29,941 --> 00:13:32,191 If this were six years ago, you'd all be dead. 218 00:13:32,357 --> 00:13:35,149 So then, he gets out of the cab, and you will not believe it. 219 00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:37,649 - I turn around, and what do I find? - AirPods. 220 00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:39,107 - His AirPods. Come on. - His AirPods! 221 00:13:39,274 --> 00:13:40,191 Crazy story. 222 00:13:40,357 --> 00:13:42,732 - Every time. Come on. - Every single time. 223 00:13:44,816 --> 00:13:46,232 Make any sales today? 224 00:13:46,399 --> 00:13:47,774 You know I didn't. 225 00:13:47,941 --> 00:13:51,066 Did you sell any dreamcatchers on Etsy or whatever it is that you do? 226 00:13:51,232 --> 00:13:52,691 Our rent's due in three days, Wade. 227 00:13:52,857 --> 00:13:54,107 I can't keep carrying you. 228 00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:55,899 Relax. I have the money. 229 00:13:56,066 --> 00:13:59,482 I sold some old blood pressure medication I found lying around. 230 00:13:59,857 --> 00:14:01,232 You tryin' to kill me, motherfucker? 231 00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:03,524 I'm not the one dousing everything in salt, motherfucker. 232 00:14:03,691 --> 00:14:05,732 I pray every day that... 233 00:14:05,899 --> 00:14:07,566 fire finds your body... 234 00:14:07,732 --> 00:14:09,107 and finishes the job... 235 00:14:09,274 --> 00:14:11,732 - God didn't have the nuts to do. - That's hurtful. 236 00:14:11,899 --> 00:14:14,732 If you could hear the look on my face, you'd smell how sad I am. 237 00:14:14,899 --> 00:14:16,024 You watched anything good? 238 00:14:16,191 --> 00:14:17,774 Great British Bake Off. 239 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,232 Oh, goddamn. 240 00:14:19,399 --> 00:14:21,732 That show stood between me and suicide for ten years. 241 00:14:21,899 --> 00:14:24,274 Those are my feelings on abortion, religious freedom... 242 00:14:24,441 --> 00:14:26,524 animal rights, privacy rights, vaccines... 243 00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:28,899 free-market capitalism, global climate change. 244 00:14:29,066 --> 00:14:31,191 Yeah, duh-duh-duh. No, no speaking lines, Buck. 245 00:14:31,774 --> 00:14:32,732 Hi, Yukio. 246 00:14:32,899 --> 00:14:33,816 Hi, Wade. 247 00:14:33,982 --> 00:14:35,691 Nice fake o'clock shadow. 248 00:14:36,649 --> 00:14:39,941 It's a summer balayage. From the French. 249 00:14:40,107 --> 00:14:43,274 It's meant to mimic the natural highlights of the sun. 250 00:14:43,441 --> 00:14:45,149 - It's a toupée. - It's a hair system. 251 00:14:45,316 --> 00:14:48,566 - I love your hair system, Wade. - Thank you. 252 00:14:48,982 --> 00:14:50,566 Wanna do some cocaine? 253 00:14:50,732 --> 00:14:53,691 Hey, cocaine is the one thing that Feige said is off limits. 254 00:14:53,857 --> 00:14:56,524 - What about Bolivian marching powder? - They know all the slang terms. 255 00:14:56,691 --> 00:14:57,649 They have a list. 256 00:14:57,816 --> 00:14:59,482 - Even snowboarding? - Even disco dust. 257 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,232 - White girl interrupted? - Even Forrest Bump. 258 00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:03,274 - Booger sugar? - I wouldn't even try powdered gonuts. 259 00:15:03,441 --> 00:15:06,899 - You wanna build a snowman? - Yes. But I can't. 260 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,274 Pull here. 261 00:15:09,941 --> 00:15:10,941 - Here? - Yeah. 262 00:15:12,316 --> 00:15:13,816 - What happened? - That's the fun part. 263 00:15:15,232 --> 00:15:16,357 Thanks for coming. 264 00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:17,441 Yeah. 265 00:15:17,607 --> 00:15:18,607 How's work? 266 00:15:18,899 --> 00:15:20,107 Oh, I got a promotion. 267 00:15:21,107 --> 00:15:21,982 No way. 268 00:15:22,149 --> 00:15:25,357 Yeah. It's mind-numbing middle management, but I'm happy. 269 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:26,566 That's great. 270 00:15:28,524 --> 00:15:29,857 - You seeing anyone? - How about you? 271 00:15:31,524 --> 00:15:32,357 Yeah. 272 00:15:32,857 --> 00:15:35,399 A guy from work. Dermot. 273 00:15:35,566 --> 00:15:36,607 Dermot. 274 00:15:36,774 --> 00:15:38,107 - He's kind. - Good. 275 00:15:38,274 --> 00:15:39,774 Likes to go hiking. 276 00:15:39,941 --> 00:15:41,316 Hasn't gotten me shot yet. 277 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,607 Well, it's early days. 278 00:15:47,732 --> 00:15:49,482 What about you? You seeing anyone? 279 00:15:50,524 --> 00:15:53,857 No, no, I live in a one-bedroom apartment. I share a bed with Blind Al. 280 00:15:55,524 --> 00:15:58,774 - Okay. All right. - All right. 281 00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:03,691 Happy birthday to you 282 00:16:03,857 --> 00:16:05,399 - Speech! Speech! - Yes! 283 00:16:05,566 --> 00:16:07,357 All right. Okay, okay, okay. 284 00:16:08,316 --> 00:16:09,316 Birthdays. 285 00:16:09,482 --> 00:16:12,149 Boy, every spin around the moon is a new adventure indeed. 286 00:16:12,316 --> 00:16:14,357 - Sun, dumbass. - Okay, round-earther. 287 00:16:16,024 --> 00:16:17,941 - Where was I? - The adventure of life. 288 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:19,107 Right. 289 00:16:19,274 --> 00:16:20,732 It's been a challenging few years. 290 00:16:20,899 --> 00:16:22,774 Haven't seen you guys in a while. 291 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:25,024 Been through a lot, change of life. 292 00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:27,107 - Menopause? - Bitch, are you improv-ing? 293 00:16:27,274 --> 00:16:28,857 - Mm-mm. - Sorry. 294 00:16:29,816 --> 00:16:31,191 I'm sorry that you had to see that, Yukio. 295 00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:32,441 It's okay. 296 00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:35,774 But I'm happy. 297 00:16:36,191 --> 00:16:37,441 You know, and that's, that's... 298 00:16:37,607 --> 00:16:40,399 because of each and every one of you. 299 00:16:40,774 --> 00:16:42,232 I guess, what I'm trying to say is... 300 00:16:42,399 --> 00:16:43,774 how proud I am, how grateful I am... 301 00:16:43,941 --> 00:16:45,191 to be standing in a room... 302 00:16:45,357 --> 00:16:48,024 with every single person I love. 303 00:16:53,607 --> 00:16:55,232 I'm the luckiest man alive. 304 00:16:57,732 --> 00:16:58,816 Make a wish, buddy. 305 00:16:58,982 --> 00:17:00,316 Ten-four, good buddy. 306 00:17:01,524 --> 00:17:02,649 Going down. 307 00:17:09,024 --> 00:17:09,899 Wade Wilson? 308 00:17:10,065 --> 00:17:12,982 Oh, yeah. Dancers. Dopinder must have ordered you. 309 00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:14,815 Are those supposed to be cop costumes? 310 00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:16,149 Never mind. 311 00:17:16,815 --> 00:17:20,149 Take your clothes off but leave the helmets. And this isn't Pretty Woman. 312 00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,399 We're kissing. All right? 313 00:17:22,565 --> 00:17:24,190 What song do you guys normally dance to? 314 00:17:25,565 --> 00:17:28,399 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 315 00:17:28,691 --> 00:17:29,899 Is that supposed to be scary? 316 00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:33,691 Pegging isn't new for me, friendo. But it is for Disney. 317 00:17:34,107 --> 00:17:34,941 Ah, ta, ta, ta! 318 00:17:35,232 --> 00:17:39,066 Okay, I've never been a natural bottom, so we're gonna take things real slow. 319 00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:41,107 And I want some crazy eye contact. 320 00:17:41,274 --> 00:17:42,316 Not you. You. 321 00:17:42,774 --> 00:17:44,566 Can't see your eyes through the mask, but I can feel them. 322 00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:46,316 We're gonna move on down the hallway... 323 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,649 so we can spare a cleanup on aisle asshole. How does everyone feel about this plan? 324 00:17:49,816 --> 00:17:52,774 - I don't like you. - Yes. Let's hold on to that attitude. 325 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,649 And we're gonna do it angry. 326 00:18:12,774 --> 00:18:13,941 Mr. Wilson... 327 00:18:15,857 --> 00:18:18,732 you appear to have soiled yourself while unconscious. 328 00:18:18,899 --> 00:18:21,149 I wasn't unconscious. Who are you? 329 00:18:21,482 --> 00:18:23,274 I go by the name of Paradox. 330 00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:26,857 Mr. Paradox. And you're sitting here at the TVA. 331 00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:29,024 The Time Variance Authority. 332 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,441 We're really a watchdog organization... 333 00:18:31,607 --> 00:18:35,316 except we're more lighthearted than that sounds with a sort of... 334 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,566 throwback, ironic twist. 335 00:18:37,732 --> 00:18:41,941 And we're in charge of defending what's known as the Sacred Timeline. 336 00:18:42,107 --> 00:18:45,274 Holy fuck. That is a shit-ton of exposition for a threequel. 337 00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:47,316 Is this because I used Cable's time machine? 338 00:18:47,482 --> 00:18:50,107 Brought a couple of people back to life, then I destroyed it. 339 00:18:50,274 --> 00:18:51,649 - That was a long time ago. - Yes... 340 00:18:51,816 --> 00:18:54,482 we're aware of your abuse of your timeline. 341 00:18:54,649 --> 00:18:56,774 And you were so abusive of it. 342 00:18:57,566 --> 00:18:59,441 No, it has nothing to do with that. 343 00:18:59,607 --> 00:19:00,691 Walk with me. 344 00:19:06,566 --> 00:19:10,774 I brought you here, Mr. Wilson, to tell you that you're special. 345 00:19:11,524 --> 00:19:14,399 In fact, you've been chosen for a higher purpose... 346 00:19:14,566 --> 00:19:16,274 a purpose unclear even to me. 347 00:19:16,691 --> 00:19:18,732 But one that could... 348 00:19:18,899 --> 00:19:21,816 save the entire Sacred Timeline... 349 00:19:21,982 --> 00:19:24,566 from a possibly grisly fate sometime in the future... 350 00:19:24,732 --> 00:19:29,024 which may very well need to be... avenged. 351 00:19:29,316 --> 00:19:30,691 This Sacred Timeline... 352 00:19:31,774 --> 00:19:33,691 I assume I'm going to marvel... 353 00:19:34,191 --> 00:19:35,232 at how... 354 00:19:35,899 --> 00:19:37,649 cinematic it feels? 355 00:19:37,816 --> 00:19:39,816 Gratuitous cameos... 356 00:19:39,982 --> 00:19:41,816 indiscriminate use of Variants, the whole package? 357 00:19:41,982 --> 00:19:44,107 Well, you tell me. 358 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:51,732 Cap! 359 00:19:58,982 --> 00:20:01,482 You are no longer lost, Wade. 360 00:20:01,649 --> 00:20:04,107 You can be a hero among heroes. 361 00:20:04,649 --> 00:20:06,816 We've been surveilling you for quite a while. 362 00:20:06,982 --> 00:20:09,732 - Subway station. - A TVA outpost, yes. 363 00:20:10,941 --> 00:20:12,066 - And what is that? - Hmm? 364 00:20:15,107 --> 00:20:16,482 Is that me? Is that Thor? 365 00:20:17,982 --> 00:20:19,191 Is he crying? 366 00:20:19,357 --> 00:20:21,149 Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 367 00:20:21,316 --> 00:20:22,649 That happens in the distant future. 368 00:20:22,816 --> 00:20:25,024 - Why is Thor crying? Quick! Tell me. - Do not speak to her. 369 00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,024 Stop that. Eyes on me. 370 00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:28,399 I brought you here to offer you an opportunity. 371 00:20:28,566 --> 00:20:31,816 The opportunity you sought years ago, but for which you were not ready. 372 00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:33,607 We believe you're ready now. 373 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,649 Ready for a chance to leave your timeline... 374 00:20:35,816 --> 00:20:38,149 and join the greatest universe of all. 375 00:20:38,316 --> 00:20:39,857 I am about to give you the thing you've always wanted. 376 00:20:40,024 --> 00:20:41,566 Oh, I smell what you're steppin' in. 377 00:20:41,732 --> 00:20:44,149 The power in the Marvel Universe is about to change forever. 378 00:20:46,524 --> 00:20:48,191 I am the Messiah... 379 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,149 I am... 380 00:20:53,732 --> 00:20:54,982 Marvel Jesus. 381 00:20:56,399 --> 00:20:59,107 Can you excuse me for just a moment? I'm just gonna go over here. 382 00:21:02,524 --> 00:21:03,899 Suck it, Fox! 383 00:21:04,066 --> 00:21:05,357 I'm going to Disneyland. 384 00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:06,774 Get fucked! 385 00:21:10,524 --> 00:21:12,482 - Where do I sign? - Oh, there's no need for paperwork. 386 00:21:12,649 --> 00:21:14,857 Good. Not to brag, but I do not read. 387 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:17,941 - Oh. - There is one thing I will need, though. 388 00:21:22,441 --> 00:21:24,524 Oh, fuck off! 389 00:21:24,691 --> 00:21:26,649 Adorn me, Beardo. 390 00:21:47,274 --> 00:21:48,232 Fuckin' A! 391 00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:51,107 It's perfect! FYI... 392 00:21:51,274 --> 00:21:54,107 your tailor is a predator, but I love it. Snug. 393 00:21:54,274 --> 00:21:58,649 No camel toe. New car smell and adamantium katanas? 394 00:21:59,024 --> 00:22:00,482 You shouldn't have. 395 00:22:00,816 --> 00:22:02,941 Go ahead. Take it in. 396 00:22:03,107 --> 00:22:05,607 And yes, your underwear is getting tighter. 397 00:22:05,774 --> 00:22:07,399 That guy knows what I'm talking about. 398 00:22:07,566 --> 00:22:09,066 His clothes says middle management... 399 00:22:09,232 --> 00:22:11,691 but his eyes say fuck-y fuck-y. 400 00:22:11,857 --> 00:22:13,524 Yes. You look very nice. 401 00:22:13,691 --> 00:22:16,732 "Nice?" Your buddy here is ready to throw it all away for me. 402 00:22:16,899 --> 00:22:18,107 - You callin' your wife? - HR. 403 00:22:18,274 --> 00:22:19,441 Does your wife work in HR? 404 00:22:19,607 --> 00:22:21,691 I'm really glad you're taking this so well. 405 00:22:22,024 --> 00:22:23,816 Oh. I'm taking it well. 406 00:22:23,982 --> 00:22:26,941 I have never had a problem traveling for work. That said... 407 00:22:27,107 --> 00:22:28,274 we should talk vacation days. 408 00:22:28,649 --> 00:22:31,066 I'm more of a one-week-on-one-week-off kind of guy. 409 00:22:31,232 --> 00:22:32,566 I think it's what they do in Denmark. 410 00:22:32,732 --> 00:22:35,191 You know, you'll never see a Danish flag on the moon, but... 411 00:22:35,357 --> 00:22:36,441 goddamn it, they're happy. 412 00:22:36,607 --> 00:22:39,107 Now, let's power up your little Amazon Fire phone there... 413 00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:42,482 and zip me back home so I can let my friends know that they've been upgraded... 414 00:22:42,649 --> 00:22:43,691 to disciples. 415 00:22:43,857 --> 00:22:46,857 Yeah. I don't think you... quite understand. 416 00:22:47,691 --> 00:22:51,899 You will not be returning to your home because there will be no home to return to. 417 00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:52,899 Come again? 418 00:22:53,066 --> 00:22:54,107 This time in my ears. 419 00:22:58,482 --> 00:23:01,399 This is your universe, Mr. Wilson. 420 00:23:02,024 --> 00:23:03,274 That... 421 00:23:03,441 --> 00:23:07,524 is what happens when a universe loses their Anchor Being. 422 00:23:07,691 --> 00:23:09,774 See how it decays from the inside? 423 00:23:09,941 --> 00:23:12,607 - This is how a reality dies. - What's an Anchor Being? 424 00:23:12,774 --> 00:23:16,107 An Anchor Being is an entity of such vital importance that when they die... 425 00:23:16,274 --> 00:23:19,774 their whole world slowly withers out of existence. 426 00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:22,566 You've just won the lottery because I didn't die. 427 00:23:22,732 --> 00:23:24,441 It was just a little midlife crisis. I'm better now. 428 00:23:24,607 --> 00:23:26,024 Oh, no, no, no. 429 00:23:30,732 --> 00:23:33,441 - Oh, my God. - Oh, I love to laugh. 430 00:23:33,607 --> 00:23:36,316 Can you imagine if you were the Anchor Being? 431 00:23:38,274 --> 00:23:40,774 - Yeah. - No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson. 432 00:23:41,607 --> 00:23:45,899 Your Anchor Being died in an act of self-sacrifice so epic... 433 00:23:46,316 --> 00:23:48,441 that it sent shivers down the Timeline. 434 00:23:48,816 --> 00:23:51,649 I am referring, of course, to... 435 00:23:53,066 --> 00:23:56,774 Logan. The Wolverine. 436 00:24:00,316 --> 00:24:02,649 Don't be what they made you. 437 00:24:13,024 --> 00:24:15,191 So this is what it feels like... 438 00:24:17,024 --> 00:24:18,024 Logan. 439 00:24:18,941 --> 00:24:19,941 Of course. 440 00:24:20,691 --> 00:24:21,524 Logan. 441 00:24:24,441 --> 00:24:25,732 Logan? 442 00:24:25,899 --> 00:24:27,857 The guy with forks for hands? 443 00:24:28,024 --> 00:24:29,274 That Wolverine? 444 00:24:30,649 --> 00:24:34,691 Yeah, I got it. You can turn your retro graphics of death off now. Make it stop. 445 00:24:34,857 --> 00:24:37,316 We're not doing it, Mr. Wilson. We certainly can't stop it. 446 00:24:39,732 --> 00:24:40,691 How long have we got? 447 00:24:40,857 --> 00:24:43,191 In most cases, couple thousand years. 448 00:24:43,357 --> 00:24:45,357 - Well, sweet. - Well, most cases aren't fast enough. 449 00:24:45,524 --> 00:24:46,482 Not for me. 450 00:24:47,066 --> 00:24:48,066 What does that mean? 451 00:24:48,232 --> 00:24:50,316 It means that I have been tasked... 452 00:24:50,482 --> 00:24:52,732 with overseeing the end of your universe. 453 00:24:52,899 --> 00:24:55,524 And regardless of what the pencil pushers upstairs would prefer... 454 00:24:55,691 --> 00:24:56,816 I will not... 455 00:24:57,274 --> 00:25:00,566 waste my life watching it die slowly of natural causes. 456 00:25:00,732 --> 00:25:02,899 We used to just prune these things. Simple. 457 00:25:03,066 --> 00:25:04,774 Elegant. Efficient. But I'm told the TVA... 458 00:25:04,941 --> 00:25:07,191 doesn't like to do that anymore. Well I do. 459 00:25:07,357 --> 00:25:09,691 And no matter what my so-called superiors say, the multiverse... 460 00:25:09,857 --> 00:25:11,524 does not need a babysitter. 461 00:25:11,691 --> 00:25:13,482 We need a mercy killer. 462 00:25:13,649 --> 00:25:15,066 And in this instance... 463 00:25:15,232 --> 00:25:17,649 I am the mercy killer. 464 00:25:22,732 --> 00:25:24,649 What in the MacGuffin is that? 465 00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:26,982 That's a Time Ripper, Mr. Wilson. 466 00:25:27,149 --> 00:25:28,691 An accelerant. 467 00:25:28,857 --> 00:25:33,441 Once completed, it will allow me to destroy the spacetime matrix of your universe. 468 00:25:33,607 --> 00:25:35,607 You see, I don't want to work for the TVA. 469 00:25:35,774 --> 00:25:37,857 I want to be the TVA. 470 00:25:38,024 --> 00:25:40,566 And the first step involves showing this organization... 471 00:25:40,732 --> 00:25:42,399 how much more efficient it can become. 472 00:25:42,566 --> 00:25:46,857 To wit, I will be giving your universe a swift and compassionate end. 473 00:25:47,024 --> 00:25:48,441 And don't worry, your friends won't feel a thing. 474 00:25:48,607 --> 00:25:50,399 It'll be over just like this. "Oh, what's that?" 475 00:25:51,774 --> 00:25:52,857 Trust me. 476 00:26:05,566 --> 00:26:07,732 You're gonna Old Yeller my fucking universe? 477 00:26:07,899 --> 00:26:10,107 Mm... In your parlance, yes. 478 00:26:10,274 --> 00:26:11,316 Two in the heart, one in the head. 479 00:26:11,732 --> 00:26:13,691 Look, Mr. Wilson, you have two choices. 480 00:26:13,857 --> 00:26:17,066 You can either rejoin your loved ones and collectively cease to exist in... 481 00:26:17,232 --> 00:26:20,066 I'd say, seventy-two hours. Or... 482 00:26:20,232 --> 00:26:22,774 you join the Sacred Timeline. 483 00:26:22,941 --> 00:26:25,191 And you end your days of insignificance... 484 00:26:25,357 --> 00:26:27,274 and mediocrity. 485 00:26:27,441 --> 00:26:28,357 Wade. 486 00:26:29,066 --> 00:26:30,774 Wade, you can finally... 487 00:26:30,941 --> 00:26:33,357 finally, matter. 488 00:26:43,107 --> 00:26:45,149 That's all I've ever really wanted. 489 00:26:45,316 --> 00:26:46,566 I know. 490 00:26:47,191 --> 00:26:48,191 I know. 491 00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:52,649 And you know I'm, I'm nothing if not morally flexible. 492 00:26:55,149 --> 00:26:56,107 Yep, yep. 493 00:26:58,441 --> 00:26:59,441 I'll do it. 494 00:26:59,607 --> 00:27:02,024 Wise choice. The Sacred Timeline's happy to have you. 495 00:27:02,191 --> 00:27:04,024 I was actually talking about finding the Wolverine... 496 00:27:04,191 --> 00:27:05,274 and breaking your fucking nose. 497 00:27:19,107 --> 00:27:21,441 Find him. Find him! 498 00:27:21,607 --> 00:27:23,357 And boy, did he ever. 499 00:27:25,232 --> 00:27:26,649 Which brings us back to this. 500 00:27:28,816 --> 00:27:30,774 The desecration of the sacred corpse. 501 00:27:35,107 --> 00:27:36,316 Oh, my God! 502 00:27:37,732 --> 00:27:40,357 Oh! My own fucking arm! 503 00:27:44,482 --> 00:27:45,566 Now we're talkin'! 504 00:27:45,691 --> 00:27:46,982 Not like this! 505 00:27:47,149 --> 00:27:49,107 No, dear God! No! 506 00:27:49,274 --> 00:27:51,441 I'm sorry! Wolverine-ing is hard! 507 00:27:51,607 --> 00:27:52,607 Make it stop! 508 00:27:52,774 --> 00:27:54,524 Mangold tried. 509 00:27:56,774 --> 00:27:58,732 You sick fuck! 510 00:27:58,899 --> 00:28:00,066 Logan was a hero. 511 00:28:00,357 --> 00:28:03,149 And the only thing worth a shit to ever come out of Canada. 512 00:28:11,107 --> 00:28:15,399 Get my country's name out of your fuckin' mouth. 513 00:28:16,524 --> 00:28:18,107 And my sword. Give me that. 514 00:28:21,566 --> 00:28:23,857 Oh, I gotta find me another Logan. 515 00:28:24,316 --> 00:28:25,607 An alive one. 516 00:28:25,857 --> 00:28:28,024 Don't get up, guys. I'll see myself out. 517 00:28:35,607 --> 00:28:36,441 Logan! 518 00:28:40,191 --> 00:28:41,816 I'm gonna need you to come with me. 519 00:28:43,107 --> 00:28:44,107 Who's asking? 520 00:28:46,274 --> 00:28:48,316 Oh, look at this little Hairy Lou Retton. 521 00:28:48,482 --> 00:28:50,066 Did you stick the landing, little guy? 522 00:28:50,732 --> 00:28:51,566 Yes, you did! 523 00:28:51,732 --> 00:28:53,649 Comic accurate short king. 524 00:28:53,816 --> 00:28:55,899 Such a cute wittle Wolvie. 525 00:28:56,066 --> 00:28:57,774 Cue the fuckin' montage, baby. 526 00:28:58,399 --> 00:29:01,441 Ahoy! Everything seems to be on fire. 527 00:29:01,607 --> 00:29:02,691 You have a dragon? 528 00:29:03,441 --> 00:29:06,357 You have Anchor Being written all over... 529 00:29:15,691 --> 00:29:16,691 Patch! 530 00:29:18,732 --> 00:29:19,982 Now we're talkin'. 531 00:29:20,607 --> 00:29:21,899 Oh, yeah. 532 00:29:22,524 --> 00:29:24,441 That's the whole goddamn package right there. 533 00:29:25,441 --> 00:29:26,524 Howdy! 534 00:29:26,691 --> 00:29:29,191 I'm just... I'm auditioning Anchor Beings. 535 00:29:29,357 --> 00:29:31,899 Oh. Yeah, that's gonna need some coconut oil. 536 00:29:36,274 --> 00:29:38,107 What in the fuck? 537 00:29:38,524 --> 00:29:40,024 Are you okay? 538 00:29:40,524 --> 00:29:41,566 Oh, yes, yes. 539 00:29:41,732 --> 00:29:43,566 Classic John Byrne brown and tan. 540 00:29:43,732 --> 00:29:45,691 Now, you fought the Hulk in this outfit. No? 541 00:29:48,566 --> 00:29:50,274 I'm Marvel Jesus, you dull creature, and I will not... 542 00:30:01,149 --> 00:30:03,691 It's not you. We're just going in a different direction. 543 00:30:06,982 --> 00:30:09,107 You know, from behind, you look a little bit like Henry... 544 00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:10,482 Oh, my fuck! 545 00:30:10,816 --> 00:30:13,524 The Cavillrine. The legends are true. 546 00:30:14,191 --> 00:30:16,941 And may I say, sir, on behalf of all humanity... 547 00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:18,816 this just feels right. 548 00:30:18,982 --> 00:30:22,066 We will treat you so much better than those shit fucks down the street. 549 00:30:22,232 --> 00:30:23,274 You were just leavin'. 550 00:30:23,441 --> 00:30:25,607 No, sir. Not while the fate of my universe is at... 551 00:30:30,482 --> 00:30:31,899 This one looks promising. 552 00:30:32,066 --> 00:30:32,899 Down you go. 553 00:30:34,691 --> 00:30:35,524 Again. 554 00:30:36,649 --> 00:30:38,607 I told you. You're not welcome here. 555 00:30:38,774 --> 00:30:40,191 You're not welcome anywhere. 556 00:30:40,357 --> 00:30:41,566 Now get the fuck out of my bar. 557 00:30:41,732 --> 00:30:44,191 Just give me one more drink and then I'll leave. 558 00:30:44,357 --> 00:30:45,982 That's not how it works. 559 00:30:46,149 --> 00:30:48,399 It does now. Leave the bottle. 560 00:30:48,566 --> 00:30:49,399 I know you, bub? 561 00:30:49,566 --> 00:30:51,649 Nope. But I know you. 562 00:30:52,066 --> 00:30:53,441 Everybody knows me. 563 00:30:55,024 --> 00:30:56,191 I'm the Wolverine. 564 00:30:56,357 --> 00:30:58,149 Yes, you are. 565 00:30:58,316 --> 00:31:00,607 And I'm gonna need you to come with me right now. 566 00:31:02,024 --> 00:31:03,399 Look, lady, I'm not interested. 567 00:31:03,566 --> 00:31:06,274 - Really gettin' into your cups here. - Why would I go with you? 568 00:31:07,482 --> 00:31:09,316 Because, unfortunately... 569 00:31:09,482 --> 00:31:10,399 I need you... 570 00:31:10,566 --> 00:31:14,649 and even more unfortunately, my entire world needs you. 571 00:31:15,482 --> 00:31:16,941 You two gonna fuck or fight? 572 00:31:20,899 --> 00:31:22,107 You gonna take that from him? 573 00:31:22,482 --> 00:31:23,316 Yep. 574 00:31:24,191 --> 00:31:25,232 I can tell you have a sort of... 575 00:31:25,399 --> 00:31:27,857 don't-get-too-close-I'll-only- break-your-heart vibe going here... 576 00:31:28,024 --> 00:31:30,274 but every other Wolverine would've really hurt me by now. 577 00:31:30,441 --> 00:31:33,316 And, I'm sort of on the tick-tick. So upsy-daisy. Here we go. 578 00:31:33,482 --> 00:31:35,691 - Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey! - Up you go. I got you, big guy. 579 00:31:39,107 --> 00:31:40,232 Whiskey dick of the claws. 580 00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:42,857 - It's quite common in Wolverines over forty. - You don't want this. 581 00:31:43,024 --> 00:31:45,566 You're right. I don't. And you don't want this. 582 00:31:45,732 --> 00:31:48,357 Unless you wanna take a deep breath through your fuckin' forehead... 583 00:31:48,524 --> 00:31:50,399 I suggest you reconsider. 584 00:31:50,566 --> 00:31:51,649 Let's go, peanut. 585 00:31:56,191 --> 00:31:58,024 Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 586 00:31:58,732 --> 00:31:59,566 Watch this. 587 00:32:00,691 --> 00:32:02,732 All right. That... Whoa. 588 00:32:03,399 --> 00:32:04,232 Easy. 589 00:32:08,024 --> 00:32:08,857 Good God. 590 00:32:09,607 --> 00:32:11,357 Thirsty little honey badger, aren't ya? 591 00:32:12,524 --> 00:32:14,066 It's okay. Keep goin'. 592 00:32:14,232 --> 00:32:16,066 Audiences are accustomed to long run times. 593 00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:23,566 Guess you'll have to do. 594 00:32:24,024 --> 00:32:25,024 Okay, here we... 595 00:32:26,232 --> 00:32:28,566 Oh! Look at those jammies. 596 00:32:28,982 --> 00:32:32,232 That only took twenty fucking years. 597 00:32:32,649 --> 00:32:34,607 One Anchor Being coming right up! 598 00:32:34,774 --> 00:32:36,857 On your left, baby girl. 599 00:32:37,149 --> 00:32:40,482 This Logan has the same he-can-do-anything-even-musicals look. 600 00:32:40,649 --> 00:32:41,649 And bonus... 601 00:32:41,816 --> 00:32:43,107 he's actually wearing a costume... 602 00:32:43,274 --> 00:32:44,982 like he's not embarrassed to be in a superhero movie for once. 603 00:32:45,149 --> 00:32:46,482 I don't understand. 604 00:32:46,649 --> 00:32:48,066 You said my universe is dying... 605 00:32:48,232 --> 00:32:50,649 because this sack of nuts got himself killed. 606 00:32:50,816 --> 00:32:53,357 - Well, problem solved. - My God. 607 00:32:53,524 --> 00:32:57,524 You actually think you can replace an Anchor Being... 608 00:32:57,691 --> 00:32:59,107 with this? 609 00:32:59,941 --> 00:33:02,982 I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine BT dubs. But you... 610 00:33:03,149 --> 00:33:06,566 have outdone yourself and brought me the worst Wolverine! 611 00:33:06,732 --> 00:33:07,691 What do you mean, the worst one? 612 00:33:07,857 --> 00:33:08,816 Mr. Wilson. 613 00:33:09,482 --> 00:33:12,607 This Wolverine let down his entire world. 614 00:33:13,482 --> 00:33:15,357 He's the stuff of legend, but not in a good way. 615 00:33:15,732 --> 00:33:17,024 And what he did... 616 00:33:17,191 --> 00:33:18,399 well... 617 00:33:18,566 --> 00:33:20,691 some things are just beyond forgiveness. 618 00:33:23,274 --> 00:33:24,107 Okay. 619 00:33:24,274 --> 00:33:26,941 How do I... How do I make this right? I'll do anything. 620 00:33:27,441 --> 00:33:30,399 I gave you a chance at greatness. 621 00:33:30,566 --> 00:33:32,857 Because my superiors deemed you special. 622 00:33:33,024 --> 00:33:34,524 Clearly not special in a good way. 623 00:33:34,691 --> 00:33:37,524 Apparently you have some important future purpose to serve. 624 00:33:37,691 --> 00:33:38,816 With Thor. He holds me. 625 00:33:38,982 --> 00:33:42,941 But, I did my duty. I gave you the opportunity to be somebody. 626 00:33:43,107 --> 00:33:46,316 And instead of accepting my offering with humility and gratitude... 627 00:33:46,482 --> 00:33:47,316 you broke my nose. 628 00:33:47,691 --> 00:33:50,232 - It looks great. - And you decimated dozens of my men... 629 00:33:50,399 --> 00:33:52,024 with the exhumed corpse of a hero. 630 00:33:52,191 --> 00:33:54,232 Dishonoring not only his remains but his memory. 631 00:33:54,399 --> 00:33:55,441 What are you, the Internet? 632 00:33:55,607 --> 00:33:57,774 Your world is dying! 633 00:33:57,941 --> 00:33:58,941 Thank you very much. 634 00:33:59,441 --> 00:34:00,566 And there's no stopping it. 635 00:34:02,857 --> 00:34:04,357 The humane thing to do... 636 00:34:04,524 --> 00:34:05,399 is to make it quick. 637 00:34:05,566 --> 00:34:08,274 Is the thought of vaporizing my universe making you peckish? 638 00:34:08,441 --> 00:34:09,482 I'm eating my feelings. 639 00:34:09,649 --> 00:34:12,691 I'm about to lose everything that I've ever cared about because that hairy... 640 00:34:12,857 --> 00:34:14,607 thundercunt from down undercunt... 641 00:34:14,774 --> 00:34:17,816 finally dies and he's standing right behind me, isn't he? 642 00:34:18,524 --> 00:34:19,816 Welcome to the MCU, by the way. 643 00:34:20,441 --> 00:34:21,857 You're joining at a bit of a low point. 644 00:34:22,691 --> 00:34:24,607 As for you, I wanna talk to your boss. 645 00:34:24,774 --> 00:34:27,941 I want you to get him on the phone and you tell him, her, or them... 646 00:34:28,107 --> 00:34:30,232 that Marvel H. Christ isn't playing. 647 00:34:35,607 --> 00:34:36,566 Holy shit. 648 00:34:37,441 --> 00:34:41,232 I just heard a symphony of buttholes clenching all at once. 649 00:34:41,399 --> 00:34:42,274 You're off grid. 650 00:34:42,441 --> 00:34:44,774 Your bosses don't know what you sick fucks are doing down here. 651 00:34:44,941 --> 00:34:47,982 Well, I'll tell you what. I have a black belt in Karen... 652 00:34:48,149 --> 00:34:49,441 And I'm gonna go upstairs... 653 00:34:49,607 --> 00:34:51,566 and I'm gonna tell 'em all about you and your... 654 00:34:52,691 --> 00:34:54,316 Silence is nice, isn't it? 655 00:34:54,482 --> 00:34:55,482 Where the fuck did he go? 656 00:34:55,649 --> 00:34:57,357 To the trash heap. You'll fit right in. 657 00:35:00,607 --> 00:35:01,441 That was close. 658 00:35:22,941 --> 00:35:24,816 Don't just stand there, you ape. 659 00:35:25,441 --> 00:35:26,482 Give me a hand up. 660 00:35:28,274 --> 00:35:30,149 Nope. I'm actually okay. Thank you very much... 661 00:35:32,691 --> 00:35:33,524 Where the hell are we? 662 00:35:33,691 --> 00:35:36,232 I don't know. Looks kind of Mad Max-y. 663 00:35:36,399 --> 00:35:38,274 But that would be IP infringement, right? 664 00:35:38,441 --> 00:35:39,607 Fucking jokes. 665 00:35:42,982 --> 00:35:44,357 Fuck! Fuck. 666 00:35:44,524 --> 00:35:45,857 Were you even listening back there? 667 00:35:46,024 --> 00:35:48,691 If we don't make it back to that Mr. Paradox asshole... 668 00:35:49,024 --> 00:35:50,191 everyone I know is gonna die. 669 00:35:50,357 --> 00:35:52,024 Not my fuckin' problem. 670 00:35:52,191 --> 00:35:53,399 Oh, is that all you got? 671 00:35:54,441 --> 00:35:56,441 Is that what you said when your world went to shit? 672 00:35:58,899 --> 00:35:59,732 Come again? 673 00:35:59,899 --> 00:36:01,274 Yeah, I heard all about you. 674 00:36:01,816 --> 00:36:03,857 How you screwed up everything. 675 00:36:04,024 --> 00:36:06,691 You should be thankin' me for pulling you out of that bed you shit in. 676 00:36:07,399 --> 00:36:09,107 You back-stabbing son of a bitch! 677 00:36:15,149 --> 00:36:16,566 Are you ready to be calm now? 678 00:36:23,691 --> 00:36:26,191 Rest in pieces, Fox. 679 00:36:40,941 --> 00:36:42,441 I don't want to fight you, peanut. 680 00:36:43,649 --> 00:36:45,107 Doesn't matter what you did. 681 00:36:45,399 --> 00:36:46,441 I just need your help. 682 00:36:48,316 --> 00:36:49,899 I don't fuckin' care. 683 00:36:52,316 --> 00:36:53,149 Uh-oh. 684 00:36:58,649 --> 00:37:01,024 Fuck. This is gonna hurt. 685 00:37:05,191 --> 00:37:06,524 All right. 686 00:37:06,857 --> 00:37:07,691 Fuck it. 687 00:37:08,607 --> 00:37:10,482 Let's give the people what they came for. 688 00:37:11,274 --> 00:37:13,024 Let's fuckin' go. 689 00:37:14,191 --> 00:37:16,191 Get your special sock out, nerds. 690 00:37:16,357 --> 00:37:18,191 It's gonna get good. 691 00:38:11,191 --> 00:38:12,191 Gotcha! 692 00:38:18,774 --> 00:38:19,607 Baby Knife! 693 00:38:24,524 --> 00:38:26,316 Let's see you grow your fuckin' head back. 694 00:38:26,482 --> 00:38:28,524 Wait, wait, wait! I can fix it! I can fix it. 695 00:38:28,691 --> 00:38:30,482 - Fix what? - Whatever it is that you did. 696 00:38:31,399 --> 00:38:32,774 Whatever made you so bad. 697 00:38:33,274 --> 00:38:37,066 Those, those pricks in the TVA. You heard him. 698 00:38:38,316 --> 00:38:39,566 They have the power to end my universe... 699 00:38:39,732 --> 00:38:42,816 but they also have the power to change yours. 700 00:38:44,524 --> 00:38:45,607 We get back there... 701 00:38:45,774 --> 00:38:48,816 and we can fix your world. Together. 702 00:38:50,149 --> 00:38:51,232 I promise. 703 00:38:52,732 --> 00:38:53,982 They can fix it. 704 00:38:55,107 --> 00:38:56,357 Hey! 705 00:38:56,524 --> 00:38:58,524 We fight each other, we lose. 706 00:38:58,691 --> 00:38:59,941 Dear God, it's him. 707 00:39:00,107 --> 00:39:02,107 - Who? - The one. 708 00:39:02,441 --> 00:39:04,816 The superhero equivalent to comfort food, or Molly. 709 00:39:05,399 --> 00:39:08,732 White guys' answer to all the disappointments. And another A-lister. 710 00:39:09,399 --> 00:39:10,774 Fair warning, gorgeous. 711 00:39:10,941 --> 00:39:12,899 You're going to encounter some indelicate language... 712 00:39:13,066 --> 00:39:15,399 a smidge of ass play, but we've been prohibited... 713 00:39:15,566 --> 00:39:16,941 from using cocaine. On camera. 714 00:39:17,107 --> 00:39:17,941 They're coming. 715 00:39:18,191 --> 00:39:19,691 Who's "they?" 716 00:39:26,274 --> 00:39:27,691 Oh, they're driving angry. 717 00:39:33,524 --> 00:39:35,566 Now that's a superhero landing. 718 00:39:42,524 --> 00:39:43,774 I got this. 719 00:40:07,441 --> 00:40:08,274 Stay close. 720 00:40:08,899 --> 00:40:09,774 Aye, aye, Cap'n. 721 00:40:11,357 --> 00:40:12,316 You got this. 722 00:40:14,649 --> 00:40:18,066 Cassandra is gonna be giddy when she sees what we caught. 723 00:40:19,107 --> 00:40:20,107 You can't run. 724 00:40:20,274 --> 00:40:21,482 Everybody knows that. 725 00:40:21,649 --> 00:40:23,774 You see anyone runnin', dick for brains? 726 00:40:24,899 --> 00:40:26,566 You're not gonna love what happens next. 727 00:40:26,732 --> 00:40:28,191 Oh. Oh, my God. 728 00:40:28,649 --> 00:40:29,482 Oh, my God. 729 00:40:29,649 --> 00:40:31,857 - Oh, my God, he's gonna say it. - Ah! Fuck. 730 00:40:32,024 --> 00:40:34,149 - Oh, my God! He's gonna say it! - Say what? 731 00:40:34,316 --> 00:40:35,316 Avengers, assemble... 732 00:40:35,482 --> 00:40:36,732 - Flame on! - I'm sorry, what now? 733 00:40:59,857 --> 00:41:00,691 Fuck! 734 00:41:05,524 --> 00:41:06,607 We don't know that guy. 735 00:41:06,774 --> 00:41:07,649 We thought we did. 736 00:41:07,899 --> 00:41:09,316 I know you. 737 00:41:10,066 --> 00:41:10,899 Holy... 738 00:41:13,441 --> 00:41:14,482 Sabretooth. 739 00:41:15,191 --> 00:41:16,024 Your brother. 740 00:41:16,941 --> 00:41:18,899 Ready to die? 741 00:41:19,066 --> 00:41:21,316 Wait, wait, wait! Time! 742 00:41:22,024 --> 00:41:23,566 You look ridiculous. 743 00:41:23,816 --> 00:41:26,316 People have waited decades for this fight. 744 00:41:26,482 --> 00:41:28,149 It's not gonna be easy. Baby Knife. 745 00:41:28,316 --> 00:41:30,066 Shoot the double, you take him down. 746 00:41:30,232 --> 00:41:32,232 Side control, then full mount... 747 00:41:32,399 --> 00:41:35,357 and you ground and pound till he makes no sound because he's dead. 748 00:41:35,524 --> 00:41:36,357 Shut the fuck up! 749 00:41:36,524 --> 00:41:37,482 Oh, my God! 750 00:41:37,649 --> 00:41:39,274 Okay. Good luck. I'm a huge fan. 751 00:41:52,316 --> 00:41:53,399 What is it, girl? 752 00:41:53,566 --> 00:41:54,691 Is there trouble at the well? 753 00:42:00,899 --> 00:42:01,816 Big trouble. 754 00:42:01,982 --> 00:42:03,566 Behold! 755 00:42:03,732 --> 00:42:06,607 The head of your precious queen... 756 00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:07,774 Furiosa! 757 00:42:08,941 --> 00:42:10,607 I have the Wolverine! 758 00:42:10,774 --> 00:42:13,857 I alone control her! 759 00:42:14,024 --> 00:42:15,941 You come for me... 760 00:42:16,441 --> 00:42:18,816 you come for her. 761 00:42:20,566 --> 00:42:24,191 So sorry. I know it's pronounced "him." I'm gender blind. It's my cross to bear. 762 00:42:24,357 --> 00:42:25,316 Who's next? 763 00:42:25,691 --> 00:42:26,732 Toad! 764 00:42:26,899 --> 00:42:27,774 You're up. 765 00:42:35,524 --> 00:42:37,566 - Uh-oh. Oh, holy... - Fuck. 766 00:42:48,482 --> 00:42:50,441 God of Thunder. 767 00:42:54,357 --> 00:42:55,649 How long was I asleep? 768 00:42:55,816 --> 00:42:57,607 Not all of you was asleep. 769 00:42:57,774 --> 00:42:59,149 Don't bother. 770 00:42:59,316 --> 00:43:01,107 They're very thorough. 771 00:43:01,566 --> 00:43:03,607 If you know where we are, start talking. 772 00:43:04,357 --> 00:43:05,357 You're in The Void. 773 00:43:05,982 --> 00:43:07,274 Think of it as purgatory. 774 00:43:08,149 --> 00:43:10,566 Reed called it a metaphysical junkyard. 775 00:43:10,732 --> 00:43:13,857 Where anything useless goes before it gets annihilated forever. 776 00:43:14,399 --> 00:43:18,399 And where the TVA sends people that don't play nice with the rest of the multiverse. 777 00:43:18,566 --> 00:43:19,982 - Like you? - And you. 778 00:43:20,149 --> 00:43:21,524 What does the annihilating? 779 00:43:22,107 --> 00:43:22,941 Alioth. 780 00:43:23,107 --> 00:43:26,774 Alioth is in this thing? From Loki, season one, episode five? 781 00:43:26,941 --> 00:43:28,857 Everyone here is on the run from Alioth. 782 00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:30,982 Most don't make it. 783 00:43:31,149 --> 00:43:32,441 There's a resistance, though. 784 00:43:33,232 --> 00:43:35,982 Other people like us that managed to survive. 785 00:43:36,316 --> 00:43:40,149 They're hidin' out in the borderlands, trying to find a way the fuck outta here. 786 00:43:40,316 --> 00:43:41,649 Then that's where we go. 787 00:43:41,816 --> 00:43:43,524 "We?" Us? A team? 788 00:43:43,691 --> 00:43:45,482 The answer is yes. Shake on it. 789 00:43:46,232 --> 00:43:47,482 Fuck! You nicked it. 790 00:43:47,649 --> 00:43:49,482 Just got the tip with your little steak knife. 791 00:43:49,649 --> 00:43:51,607 These "others" can help us get back to the TVA. 792 00:43:51,774 --> 00:43:52,691 Make 'em fix things. 793 00:43:54,982 --> 00:43:55,982 Something funny, bub? 794 00:43:56,607 --> 00:43:58,316 She might have somethin' to say about that. 795 00:43:58,482 --> 00:43:59,441 Who's "she?" 796 00:44:00,732 --> 00:44:01,816 In The Void... 797 00:44:02,066 --> 00:44:03,732 you're either food for Alioth... 798 00:44:04,524 --> 00:44:06,566 or you work for her. 799 00:45:18,899 --> 00:45:20,857 Huh. Paul Rudd finally aged. 800 00:45:21,982 --> 00:45:23,357 You must be this year's Juggernaut. 801 00:45:23,732 --> 00:45:25,274 - Thank you. - I'd keep your voices down. 802 00:45:25,441 --> 00:45:26,566 She don't like the chatter. 803 00:45:26,732 --> 00:45:27,982 She's gonna love you. 804 00:45:44,107 --> 00:45:45,524 Is it... Is that Charles? 805 00:45:45,816 --> 00:45:47,982 Hey... Hey, Chuck! It's us! 806 00:45:48,149 --> 00:45:49,316 That's not Chuck. 807 00:45:49,482 --> 00:45:50,607 Ah, shit. 808 00:45:52,066 --> 00:45:53,524 Oh, ableism. Great. 809 00:45:53,691 --> 00:45:56,107 That's not gonna go over well with the woke mob. 810 00:45:56,274 --> 00:45:57,732 A Wolverine. 811 00:45:58,232 --> 00:46:00,524 I wondered when I'd get one of you. 812 00:46:01,274 --> 00:46:02,441 You're one of Xavier's. 813 00:46:02,607 --> 00:46:04,066 You-You know him? You know Chuck? 814 00:46:04,232 --> 00:46:05,316 Oh, I knew him. 815 00:46:05,607 --> 00:46:07,107 We shared a womb. 816 00:46:07,316 --> 00:46:10,816 Tried to strangle the sly little fellow with my umbilical cord. 817 00:46:10,982 --> 00:46:13,982 Amen. I've never loved roommates. Mine's blind. 818 00:46:14,316 --> 00:46:15,691 Except she can see cocaine. 819 00:46:15,941 --> 00:46:17,441 For some... reason. 820 00:46:17,607 --> 00:46:20,316 You want to chime in, Your Majesty? I'm dying here. 821 00:46:20,482 --> 00:46:21,607 Who are you? 822 00:46:21,774 --> 00:46:24,482 Charles Xavier's twin, Cassandra Nova. 823 00:46:24,816 --> 00:46:26,191 - Bullshit! - I was an anal birth. 824 00:46:27,066 --> 00:46:28,274 You two are cute. 825 00:46:29,191 --> 00:46:30,524 I have a good feeling about this. 826 00:46:33,566 --> 00:46:34,691 And I've been trying to catch... 827 00:46:34,857 --> 00:46:36,566 this little firefly for years. 828 00:46:37,357 --> 00:46:38,941 Haven't I, Johnny? 829 00:46:39,107 --> 00:46:42,316 Aw... You picked the wrong time to make new friends. 830 00:46:42,482 --> 00:46:44,816 Oh, Johnny told us all about you. 831 00:46:44,982 --> 00:46:46,274 - Maybe shut up now. - Yeah, maybe don't... 832 00:46:46,441 --> 00:46:47,524 We're just talkin' here. 833 00:46:47,691 --> 00:46:50,857 Yeah, Johnny told us you're a psychotic megalomaniacal asshole. 834 00:46:51,024 --> 00:46:51,774 His words, not mine. 835 00:46:51,941 --> 00:46:54,316 Hellbent on domination and pain. 836 00:46:55,524 --> 00:46:57,482 - You said all that about me? - No! 837 00:46:57,649 --> 00:47:00,982 - No! I don't... I didn't say any of that! - Sticks and stones, Johnny! 838 00:47:02,607 --> 00:47:04,607 Don't let her intimidate you. 839 00:47:04,774 --> 00:47:06,357 It's like you said in the convoy. 840 00:47:06,524 --> 00:47:09,357 This finger-lickin' dead-inside pixie slab of... 841 00:47:09,524 --> 00:47:11,232 third rate dime-store nut-milk... 842 00:47:11,399 --> 00:47:13,191 can eat your delicious cinnamon ring... 843 00:47:13,357 --> 00:47:15,357 - and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. - Okay. 844 00:47:15,524 --> 00:47:17,357 I have never said any of those words... 845 00:47:17,524 --> 00:47:19,566 - in my entire life! - Ha! The modesty. 846 00:47:19,732 --> 00:47:22,607 People think I'm a shit talker. But this guy... 847 00:47:22,982 --> 00:47:23,816 Next level. 848 00:47:23,982 --> 00:47:25,899 What? This... I... We... 849 00:47:26,066 --> 00:47:27,482 I don't even know what half of that means! 850 00:47:27,649 --> 00:47:30,149 - This... I... What? This... - My hat's off to you, sir. Truly. 851 00:47:30,316 --> 00:47:31,524 I didn't... He's... That's... 852 00:47:32,316 --> 00:47:33,399 I don't... 853 00:47:38,941 --> 00:47:39,857 Not my favorite Chris. 854 00:47:40,024 --> 00:47:42,524 You stupid piece of shit. You just got him fucking killed! 855 00:47:42,691 --> 00:47:44,441 Hey! We're all grieving! 856 00:47:44,607 --> 00:47:46,649 PS, do you know what he was doing to the budget? 857 00:47:49,357 --> 00:47:51,191 Alioth is hungry. 858 00:47:52,107 --> 00:47:53,691 There's been some kind of mistake. 859 00:47:53,857 --> 00:47:55,566 Big yellow is a back up Anchor Being... 860 00:47:55,732 --> 00:47:58,149 and I'm Marvel Jesus. MJ, if you're nasty. 861 00:47:58,316 --> 00:47:59,357 This may be hard to hear... 862 00:47:59,524 --> 00:48:02,191 but there's another British villain who's gonna destroy my universe... 863 00:48:02,357 --> 00:48:03,357 and I'm gonna stop him. 864 00:48:03,524 --> 00:48:06,399 Oh, honey, you don't really strike me as the world-saving type. 865 00:48:08,941 --> 00:48:09,899 Did I hit a nerve? 866 00:48:10,982 --> 00:48:12,274 I didn't want it to come to this. 867 00:48:13,149 --> 00:48:14,066 Either you help us... 868 00:48:14,232 --> 00:48:17,191 or my friend here is gonna sing the entire second act of Music Man... 869 00:48:17,357 --> 00:48:18,524 with zero warm-up. 870 00:48:19,399 --> 00:48:20,607 Where'd you get the chair? 871 00:48:20,774 --> 00:48:23,274 Well, once in a while, I do get a Charles through here. 872 00:48:23,691 --> 00:48:25,066 Never mine, though. 873 00:48:25,232 --> 00:48:28,399 No. He didn't care to find me. 874 00:48:29,566 --> 00:48:32,066 Gen Z and their trauma-bragging! 875 00:48:32,232 --> 00:48:34,774 Can't you just stuff it down, turn it into accomplishment... 876 00:48:34,941 --> 00:48:36,566 or cancer like the rest of us? 877 00:48:36,732 --> 00:48:38,399 But I'm not like the rest of you. 878 00:48:38,566 --> 00:48:40,316 Except maybe the Wolverine. 879 00:48:40,482 --> 00:48:42,941 Now, we could be truly terrifying together. 880 00:48:43,107 --> 00:48:44,357 You're that scary, huh? 881 00:48:44,524 --> 00:48:46,357 The TVA certainly thought so. 882 00:48:46,941 --> 00:48:49,066 They sent me here before I could walk. 883 00:48:49,524 --> 00:48:52,191 And you know, it's the best thing that ever happened to me. 884 00:48:52,649 --> 00:48:53,566 I love it here. 885 00:48:53,732 --> 00:48:55,191 You live in a garbage dump. 886 00:48:55,357 --> 00:48:58,107 I think we both know who lives in the garbage dump. 887 00:48:58,482 --> 00:48:59,941 The Void is a paradise. 888 00:49:00,274 --> 00:49:04,107 I can wield my power here without shame. 889 00:49:04,482 --> 00:49:07,774 Unfortunately I had no Charles Xavier to teach me temperance. 890 00:49:08,482 --> 00:49:10,316 What about your Charles? 891 00:49:10,482 --> 00:49:11,607 Did he protect you? 892 00:49:12,399 --> 00:49:14,482 Did he make you feel safe? 893 00:49:14,649 --> 00:49:16,566 We're mutants. We're never safe. 894 00:49:24,774 --> 00:49:26,857 Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't... I don't want the smoke. 895 00:49:27,524 --> 00:49:30,149 I don't have any beef with you. I just want to save my friends. 896 00:49:30,316 --> 00:49:31,649 I just... I want to go home. 897 00:49:31,816 --> 00:49:33,482 Well, the thing is, I could get you home. 898 00:49:33,649 --> 00:49:35,232 - Good. - But I don't want to. 899 00:49:35,399 --> 00:49:36,691 Not good. 900 00:49:39,857 --> 00:49:42,149 What do you want, Wade Wilson? 901 00:49:42,649 --> 00:49:46,024 Your... fingers are inside me, but not in a good way. 902 00:49:46,191 --> 00:49:49,149 My brother could enter one's mind with a thought. 903 00:49:49,316 --> 00:49:51,649 I have to get my hands dirty. 904 00:49:54,524 --> 00:49:55,857 I've got you. 905 00:49:58,274 --> 00:49:59,399 I've got you... 906 00:50:02,024 --> 00:50:02,941 What do you mean? 907 00:50:05,107 --> 00:50:07,524 I can't, I can't reach you. You're not here. 908 00:50:07,691 --> 00:50:09,107 I'm right here. 909 00:50:09,566 --> 00:50:12,399 - No, you're not. I can't... - I'm right here. 910 00:50:12,566 --> 00:50:14,566 Then show me. You got to do something. 911 00:50:15,982 --> 00:50:16,857 Show you what? 912 00:50:17,441 --> 00:50:20,191 Show me you care about something bigger than you. 913 00:50:21,316 --> 00:50:25,107 Ever since they turned you down, you took a knee. 914 00:50:25,941 --> 00:50:27,899 Baby, you never got back up. 915 00:50:30,107 --> 00:50:33,691 I know you're going through something. Let me go through it with you. 916 00:50:35,107 --> 00:50:37,107 - Your crazy matches my crazy. - Your crazy matches my crazy. 917 00:50:40,732 --> 00:50:41,732 Where'd you go? 918 00:50:42,357 --> 00:50:43,691 Oh, my God. 919 00:50:46,691 --> 00:50:48,357 You just say it. Okay? 920 00:50:49,399 --> 00:50:50,232 Say, "I don't want you. 921 00:50:50,399 --> 00:50:51,691 "I don't want to be with you." 922 00:50:52,857 --> 00:50:54,191 Go ahead. Say it. Say, say, "I don't..." 923 00:50:54,357 --> 00:50:55,441 Say it. You don't wanna be with me. 924 00:50:55,899 --> 00:50:58,232 Tell me that and I'll walk away. Say, "I don't want you." 925 00:51:05,066 --> 00:51:05,899 Fuck... 926 00:51:06,066 --> 00:51:08,607 You'll never fucking matter. 927 00:51:12,482 --> 00:51:14,191 What? 928 00:51:14,566 --> 00:51:17,316 - You'll never fucking matter. - Fucking matter. 929 00:51:23,774 --> 00:51:25,649 - You'll... - You'll... 930 00:51:25,816 --> 00:51:27,191 - never... - never... 931 00:51:27,774 --> 00:51:28,941 - fucking... - fucking... 932 00:51:29,107 --> 00:51:31,899 - matter. - matter... 933 00:51:33,941 --> 00:51:35,316 She never said that. 934 00:51:35,482 --> 00:51:36,441 No. 935 00:51:36,607 --> 00:51:38,482 But I bet she thought it. 936 00:51:40,607 --> 00:51:42,232 You are so mean! 937 00:51:42,399 --> 00:51:45,024 My brain could taste your fingers, and they tasted like hate! 938 00:51:45,732 --> 00:51:48,232 And where in God's name is the intimacy coordinator? 939 00:51:48,399 --> 00:51:50,649 You're so lost, Mr. Wilson. 940 00:51:51,191 --> 00:51:53,441 And long before you came here. 941 00:51:54,941 --> 00:51:57,357 This is Baby Knife. She's gonna fuck you in the face now. 942 00:51:57,607 --> 00:52:00,566 If you want to kill me, it's going to take more than a little blade. 943 00:52:00,857 --> 00:52:01,732 How about six? 944 00:52:03,732 --> 00:52:05,566 My boy's wicked strong. 945 00:52:06,066 --> 00:52:07,607 That's my big boy. 946 00:52:07,899 --> 00:52:09,232 Yes, you are. 947 00:52:15,066 --> 00:52:16,649 Well, this has been fun. 948 00:52:17,066 --> 00:52:19,232 But the big guy needs to eat and the rent is due. 949 00:52:22,649 --> 00:52:23,482 By the way... 950 00:52:23,649 --> 00:52:25,066 you're the rent. 951 00:52:45,232 --> 00:52:47,066 Come on! Fuck! 952 00:52:47,232 --> 00:52:48,316 You comin' or what? 953 00:52:48,482 --> 00:52:49,357 Coming! 954 00:53:09,566 --> 00:53:10,566 What you thinkin' 'bout? 955 00:53:10,732 --> 00:53:11,774 Get the fuck off of me! 956 00:53:12,316 --> 00:53:13,191 Almost done. 957 00:53:13,357 --> 00:53:14,441 Almost done what? 958 00:53:14,607 --> 00:53:16,982 Getting my knife out of your buttocks, pervert! 959 00:53:17,149 --> 00:53:18,066 Fuck! 960 00:53:18,232 --> 00:53:19,941 Get your mind out of my pants! 961 00:53:20,107 --> 00:53:20,941 I'm telling Blake. 962 00:53:21,107 --> 00:53:22,149 New rules. 963 00:53:22,691 --> 00:53:23,524 I talk now. 964 00:53:23,691 --> 00:53:27,107 - That's gonna be very hard on the audience. - Shut the fuck up! 965 00:53:27,857 --> 00:53:28,732 Let me fuckin' think. 966 00:53:29,024 --> 00:53:30,857 Now we gotta get back to Paradox, right? 967 00:53:32,941 --> 00:53:33,774 Right? 968 00:53:35,649 --> 00:53:38,941 - Am I allowed to speak now or... - Just nod, asshole. 969 00:53:40,566 --> 00:53:41,482 Right. 970 00:53:41,649 --> 00:53:44,482 Then we find the others that poor kid, Johnny was talking about before you got him killed! 971 00:53:44,649 --> 00:53:46,274 "Poor kid." He's like fifty! 972 00:53:46,441 --> 00:53:48,941 Yeah, if there's a chance they know how to get out of here, we find 'em. 973 00:53:49,107 --> 00:53:52,482 And make those TVA fuckers fix my shit like you fucking promised! 974 00:53:52,649 --> 00:53:53,857 I smell quest. 975 00:53:56,607 --> 00:53:57,607 I smell food. 976 00:54:01,024 --> 00:54:04,357 So what made you finally wear an honest-to-God costume? 977 00:54:06,066 --> 00:54:08,149 Mine's red so they can't see me bleed. 978 00:54:08,316 --> 00:54:10,982 But I could see how yellow would be useful too. 979 00:54:11,149 --> 00:54:12,691 Have you been checked for ADHD? 980 00:54:12,857 --> 00:54:13,899 Mm-mm. 981 00:54:14,149 --> 00:54:16,274 But I've had several STDs, which... 982 00:54:16,441 --> 00:54:18,149 were probably caused by ADHD. 983 00:54:18,316 --> 00:54:19,107 Fuck! 984 00:54:20,566 --> 00:54:21,524 What are you looking for? 985 00:54:22,816 --> 00:54:23,816 Thank fuck. 986 00:54:24,857 --> 00:54:26,649 No, no, no. That's rubbing alcohol. 987 00:54:26,816 --> 00:54:29,399 You don't want to drink... Oh, yeah. There you go. Fuck that liver. 988 00:54:31,107 --> 00:54:32,816 Good. Okay. 989 00:54:33,857 --> 00:54:34,982 What the fuck are those? 990 00:54:36,649 --> 00:54:39,441 Back in civilian life, I wear a toupee, but nobody knows. 991 00:54:42,524 --> 00:54:44,024 Everybody knows. 992 00:54:46,816 --> 00:54:48,524 Wanna talk about what's haunting you, or... 993 00:54:48,691 --> 00:54:50,607 should we wait for a third act flashback? 994 00:54:51,274 --> 00:54:52,524 Go fuck yourself. 995 00:54:55,857 --> 00:54:56,691 You know... 996 00:54:58,566 --> 00:54:59,982 in my world, you're... 997 00:55:02,024 --> 00:55:03,274 You're well regarded. 998 00:55:03,566 --> 00:55:04,857 Yeah, well, not in mine. 999 00:55:06,066 --> 00:55:09,274 - They don't like me much in mine either. - You don't say. 1000 00:55:09,524 --> 00:55:11,149 I wanted to be something, you know. I... 1001 00:55:12,232 --> 00:55:13,899 Shit, I wanted to be an Avenger. 1002 00:55:14,149 --> 00:55:15,982 - Fuck the Avengers. - Yeah. 1003 00:55:16,482 --> 00:55:18,566 I didn't make the cut, though. Same with the X-Men... 1004 00:55:20,691 --> 00:55:21,691 When my girlfriend left me... 1005 00:55:21,857 --> 00:55:22,982 - and then I just... - You had a girlfriend? 1006 00:55:23,524 --> 00:55:24,566 Yeah. 1007 00:55:25,066 --> 00:55:25,899 Vanessa. 1008 00:55:26,566 --> 00:55:27,982 When we met, she was a dancer. 1009 00:55:29,191 --> 00:55:30,191 We had a whole life. 1010 00:55:31,482 --> 00:55:32,482 It was good. 1011 00:55:33,274 --> 00:55:34,649 But, oh, boy, I just... 1012 00:55:36,607 --> 00:55:38,107 Fucked that right up. 1013 00:55:38,982 --> 00:55:40,024 But you. 1014 00:55:40,191 --> 00:55:41,316 You were an X-Man. 1015 00:55:41,649 --> 00:55:43,482 Fuck that. You were the X-Man. You... 1016 00:55:45,399 --> 00:55:46,566 The Wolverine. 1017 00:55:48,941 --> 00:55:50,482 He was a hero in my world. 1018 00:55:52,399 --> 00:55:53,232 Yeah, well... 1019 00:55:54,649 --> 00:55:55,816 he ain't shit in mine. 1020 00:56:01,357 --> 00:56:03,857 You said, "Logan was a hero." What happened? 1021 00:56:04,732 --> 00:56:05,566 He died. 1022 00:56:06,316 --> 00:56:07,149 How? 1023 00:56:08,024 --> 00:56:10,524 Well, technically, you were chest-fucked by a tree, but... 1024 00:56:10,691 --> 00:56:13,274 really, you just ran out of batteries trying to save someone. 1025 00:56:13,441 --> 00:56:14,274 Who? 1026 00:56:14,649 --> 00:56:17,941 The shitheels that grew her in a lab called her "X-23." But... 1027 00:56:18,691 --> 00:56:19,816 she was just a kid. 1028 00:56:20,607 --> 00:56:24,024 A younger, daintier, somehow meaner version of you. 1029 00:56:24,191 --> 00:56:25,566 You died trying to save her. 1030 00:56:25,941 --> 00:56:26,774 It was beautiful. 1031 00:56:27,524 --> 00:56:29,816 Look, mijo, I know you're hurtin'. 1032 00:56:30,566 --> 00:56:34,191 My blind, elderly, African-American roommate, Blind Al, always says that... 1033 00:56:34,357 --> 00:56:36,024 pain teaches us who we are. 1034 00:56:36,191 --> 00:56:38,732 Sometimes we need to listen to that pain instead of running from it. 1035 00:56:38,899 --> 00:56:40,566 - Holy shit. - Yeah, she's wise. 1036 00:56:40,732 --> 00:56:43,107 No, no, no. That's her name? You call her "Blind Al?" 1037 00:56:43,274 --> 00:56:44,274 Well, she's blind. 1038 00:57:21,899 --> 00:57:23,149 Look at you! 1039 00:57:23,316 --> 00:57:24,316 She's coming with us. 1040 00:57:24,482 --> 00:57:26,357 - No, she's not. Fuck no! - Oh, yes, she is. 1041 00:57:26,524 --> 00:57:28,441 - Oh, yes... - Sorry! 1042 00:57:28,816 --> 00:57:30,191 Sorry about that! 1043 00:57:30,607 --> 00:57:31,732 Come here, girl! 1044 00:57:32,691 --> 00:57:33,899 Who are you? 1045 00:57:34,066 --> 00:57:35,357 Oh, I'm Deadpool. 1046 00:57:35,524 --> 00:57:36,816 And I guess you're Deadpool too. 1047 00:57:36,982 --> 00:57:38,982 But in here, everybody calls me "Nicepool." 1048 00:57:39,399 --> 00:57:42,357 Oh, my goodness. Wait till you see Ladypool. She is gorgeous. 1049 00:57:42,524 --> 00:57:43,899 She just had a baby too. And... 1050 00:57:44,649 --> 00:57:45,482 Can't even tell. 1051 00:57:45,649 --> 00:57:46,982 I don't think you're supposed to say that. 1052 00:57:47,149 --> 00:57:47,982 That's okay. 1053 00:57:48,649 --> 00:57:50,149 I identify as a feminist. 1054 00:57:50,316 --> 00:57:51,191 Right. 1055 00:57:52,982 --> 00:57:55,982 Are those gold-plated, ...50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros? 1056 00:57:56,149 --> 00:57:57,274 'Course. 1057 00:57:57,649 --> 00:57:58,816 To match my ear huggie. 1058 00:57:58,982 --> 00:57:59,857 Can I have 'em? 1059 00:58:00,816 --> 00:58:02,149 Over my dead body. 1060 00:58:02,482 --> 00:58:03,357 You're fun. 1061 00:58:03,524 --> 00:58:07,857 And I guess you've already met Mary Puppins. AKA Dogpool. 1062 00:58:08,024 --> 00:58:09,066 Careful where you put your hands. 1063 00:58:09,232 --> 00:58:12,066 She's ninety percent g-spot, and she'll let you know it. 1064 00:58:12,232 --> 00:58:15,649 You let this little flirt out of your sight for one second and... 1065 00:58:15,816 --> 00:58:17,857 she starts shopping for a new papa. 1066 00:58:18,024 --> 00:58:22,482 If you can't be a responsible pet owner, then maybe you don't deserve this little unicorn. 1067 00:58:22,774 --> 00:58:24,441 Guilty on all charges, Your Honor. 1068 00:58:24,982 --> 00:58:25,982 Shan't happen again. 1069 00:58:26,149 --> 00:58:27,482 Why are you so nice? 1070 00:58:27,649 --> 00:58:29,024 Oh, it costs nothing to be kind. 1071 00:58:29,191 --> 00:58:30,941 Shutting the fuck up is also free. 1072 00:58:31,607 --> 00:58:32,482 This is Logan. 1073 00:58:32,649 --> 00:58:35,399 He's usually shirtless, but he's let himself go since the divorce. 1074 00:58:36,732 --> 00:58:38,274 Where's your mask? 1075 00:58:40,982 --> 00:58:41,816 Come on, guys. 1076 00:58:43,482 --> 00:58:44,566 Ugh, this guy. 1077 00:58:44,732 --> 00:58:46,232 We're looking for a group of survivors. 1078 00:58:46,399 --> 00:58:47,232 Oh, they're out there. 1079 00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:50,774 Yeah, but merc to merc, you better hope that you don't run into the Deadpool corps. 1080 00:58:50,941 --> 00:58:51,899 Yeah, they're crazy. 1081 00:58:52,066 --> 00:58:55,024 They will chop you up into a thousand pieces and hide you all over The Void. 1082 00:58:55,191 --> 00:58:57,024 If they could only process their childhood trauma... 1083 00:58:57,191 --> 00:58:58,774 they'd go on one heck of a healing journey. 1084 00:58:58,941 --> 00:58:59,941 Look, we're headed for the borderlands. 1085 00:59:00,107 --> 00:59:01,066 You know where it is? 1086 00:59:01,357 --> 00:59:05,566 Yeah, that... That's twelve klicks due west. I can lend you my ride, if you like. 1087 00:59:05,732 --> 00:59:07,441 It would be my honor. 1088 00:59:11,107 --> 00:59:13,149 No, no, no. Absolutely not. 1089 00:59:13,316 --> 00:59:15,191 Uh-uh. What the... No! No! 1090 00:59:15,357 --> 00:59:16,274 Just get in the car. 1091 00:59:16,441 --> 00:59:17,524 This isn't a car. 1092 00:59:17,691 --> 00:59:19,899 This is a Honda fuckin' Odyssey. 1093 00:59:20,066 --> 00:59:21,941 Throttle response sucks a cock. 1094 00:59:22,107 --> 00:59:23,232 Dated infotainment system. 1095 00:59:23,399 --> 00:59:26,024 When Honda saw that untreated chlamydia was makin' a comeback... 1096 00:59:26,191 --> 00:59:28,982 they invented the Honda Odyssey to compete. 1097 00:59:29,149 --> 00:59:31,857 Get in the fucking car. 1098 00:59:32,191 --> 00:59:33,982 She'll get you there safe and sound. 1099 00:59:34,149 --> 00:59:35,607 Old Betsy always does. 1100 00:59:36,482 --> 00:59:38,399 You're gonna have to give me my dog back, though. 1101 00:59:38,774 --> 00:59:41,274 I know. Listen. Yes, child. 1102 00:59:41,441 --> 00:59:43,899 If you ever wanna give her up, or if she needs a new home... 1103 00:59:44,066 --> 00:59:45,941 or if something should happen to you... 1104 00:59:46,107 --> 00:59:47,316 I'd love to be her papa. 1105 00:59:48,024 --> 00:59:49,649 What would ever happen to me? 1106 00:59:49,816 --> 00:59:50,857 Lots of stuff. 1107 00:59:54,566 --> 00:59:56,816 - Jesus. - No! We're running away. 1108 00:59:57,857 --> 00:59:59,566 - Give me that. - The corn was too dense, girl! 1109 00:59:59,732 --> 01:00:00,566 - There. - Come here! 1110 01:00:00,732 --> 01:00:01,982 - Fuck! - Hello! 1111 01:00:04,274 --> 01:00:05,274 Bye. 1112 01:00:31,066 --> 01:00:32,066 Okay, I'm just gonna ask... 1113 01:00:32,441 --> 01:00:33,607 What's with the suit? 1114 01:00:33,774 --> 01:00:35,232 First thing I did when I flamed out... 1115 01:00:35,399 --> 01:00:36,399 - I took mine off. - Drop it. 1116 01:00:36,566 --> 01:00:37,524 It's not that ugly. 1117 01:00:37,691 --> 01:00:39,274 - Stop talking about my suit. - Did you make it yourself? 1118 01:00:39,441 --> 01:00:40,857 - Been there. - Quit. Now. 1119 01:00:41,024 --> 01:00:44,107 The X-Men make you wear it? Those sons of fuckin' bitches. 1120 01:00:44,274 --> 01:00:45,774 They are not your friends, I'll tell you that. 1121 01:00:45,941 --> 01:00:46,941 Friends don't let friends... 1122 01:00:47,107 --> 01:00:49,982 leave the house lookin' like they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams. 1123 01:00:50,149 --> 01:00:51,232 Shut the fuck up about this, or... 1124 01:00:51,399 --> 01:00:53,607 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch your frown lines, angel baby. 1125 01:00:53,774 --> 01:00:55,941 - I'm just trying to bond a little bit. - Yeah, well, then talk about somethin' else. 1126 01:00:56,107 --> 01:00:57,024 Fine. 1127 01:01:04,191 --> 01:01:05,232 Stop it. 1128 01:01:06,941 --> 01:01:07,774 If they can fix your world... 1129 01:01:07,941 --> 01:01:09,566 what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get out of here? 1130 01:01:09,732 --> 01:01:12,857 Get some rubbing alcohol shots, maybe a wiper fluid chaser? 1131 01:01:13,024 --> 01:01:13,941 What did you say? 1132 01:01:14,107 --> 01:01:15,732 I said when you get back, what's the first thing you're gonna do? 1133 01:01:15,899 --> 01:01:17,232 No, no, no. Before that. 1134 01:01:18,482 --> 01:01:20,149 If... they can fix your world? 1135 01:01:24,274 --> 01:01:25,732 What do you mean, "if?" 1136 01:01:26,566 --> 01:01:27,399 - I mean... - You lied to me. 1137 01:01:27,566 --> 01:01:30,107 You don't have a fucking clue if they can help me fix things, do you? 1138 01:01:30,274 --> 01:01:31,357 No. I, I mean... 1139 01:01:32,024 --> 01:01:34,816 Fuck! Fuck! I didn't lie! 1140 01:01:34,982 --> 01:01:37,649 - You lied! - No! I made an educated wish! 1141 01:01:39,524 --> 01:01:40,482 Because I need you. 1142 01:01:41,816 --> 01:01:44,816 This. This is why. Right here. 1143 01:01:45,857 --> 01:01:47,357 'Cause if we don't do something, they die. 1144 01:01:47,774 --> 01:01:49,691 I don't know anything about saving worlds. 1145 01:01:49,857 --> 01:01:51,399 And why would I even care? 1146 01:01:51,566 --> 01:01:54,482 Because my entire world is right here in this picture. 1147 01:01:54,941 --> 01:01:56,941 It's only nine people... 1148 01:01:57,107 --> 01:01:59,149 and I have no idea how to save it alone. 1149 01:02:00,274 --> 01:02:02,357 I know how to fuck people up for money. But you... 1150 01:02:02,524 --> 01:02:04,107 you know how to save 'em! 1151 01:02:05,357 --> 01:02:06,566 At least the other Wolverine did. 1152 01:02:07,816 --> 01:02:10,232 Fuck! I guess I'm stuck with the worst one. 1153 01:02:10,399 --> 01:02:12,649 Did you say you made... 1154 01:02:12,816 --> 01:02:16,107 an educated fucking wish? 1155 01:02:16,274 --> 01:02:18,399 They call me "The Merc with the Mouth." 1156 01:02:18,566 --> 01:02:22,441 They don't call me "Truthful Timmy, the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon." 1157 01:02:26,316 --> 01:02:27,232 One more word. 1158 01:02:28,524 --> 01:02:29,982 Please give me one. 1159 01:02:33,607 --> 01:02:34,774 Gubernatorial. 1160 01:02:35,524 --> 01:02:36,524 Oh, fuck! 1161 01:02:38,149 --> 01:02:39,566 You know what? You're a fucking joke. 1162 01:02:41,357 --> 01:02:42,774 No wonder the Avengers didn't take you. 1163 01:02:42,941 --> 01:02:45,066 Or the X-Men. And they'll take fucking anyone. 1164 01:02:45,566 --> 01:02:46,941 I mean, you are... 1165 01:02:47,107 --> 01:02:50,649 a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. 1166 01:02:51,274 --> 01:02:52,982 I have never met... 1167 01:02:53,149 --> 01:02:54,357 a sadder... 1168 01:02:54,524 --> 01:02:56,899 more attention-starved, jabbering little prick... 1169 01:02:57,066 --> 01:03:00,482 in my entire life. And that says a lot, 'cause I've been alive... 1170 01:03:00,649 --> 01:03:04,482 for more than two hundred fuckin' years, and I'll tell you... 1171 01:03:04,649 --> 01:03:08,857 that bald chick was right about one thing. You will never save the world! 1172 01:03:09,024 --> 01:03:11,524 You couldn't even save a relationship... 1173 01:03:11,691 --> 01:03:13,566 with a goddamn stripper! 1174 01:03:13,732 --> 01:03:16,191 And motherfucker, I wish I could say you'd die alone... 1175 01:03:16,357 --> 01:03:19,274 but it's one of God's best jokes that you can't die... 1176 01:03:19,441 --> 01:03:20,941 except that's on all of us! 1177 01:03:25,024 --> 01:03:27,482 Oh, you got nothing to say, Mouth? 1178 01:03:36,149 --> 01:03:37,816 I'm gonna fight you now. 1179 01:03:40,024 --> 01:03:41,274 Oh, are you? 1180 01:03:51,982 --> 01:03:53,982 Mm. Not talkin' now, are ya? 1181 01:04:00,649 --> 01:04:01,691 You dirty bitch. 1182 01:04:17,399 --> 01:04:18,232 Whoo! 1183 01:04:34,816 --> 01:04:36,024 No, no, no! 1184 01:04:54,857 --> 01:04:55,691 Baby Knife! 1185 01:04:59,441 --> 01:05:02,524 I take it all back. The Honda Odyssey fucks hard. 1186 01:05:02,941 --> 01:05:04,399 Too bad you don't, needle dick. 1187 01:05:04,566 --> 01:05:05,774 Oh, we're just gettin' started, bub. 1188 01:05:10,357 --> 01:05:11,607 Oh, you... Fuck! 1189 01:06:04,524 --> 01:06:05,357 Thor! 1190 01:06:08,441 --> 01:06:09,357 Where are we? 1191 01:06:09,524 --> 01:06:12,149 No clue, but... I like it here. 1192 01:06:20,316 --> 01:06:22,149 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1193 01:07:11,191 --> 01:07:12,107 Okay. 1194 01:07:13,024 --> 01:07:15,857 Look at you... all. You must be the others. 1195 01:07:16,566 --> 01:07:17,399 Terrific. 1196 01:07:17,732 --> 01:07:21,066 So just to refresh, you are... 1197 01:07:21,232 --> 01:07:23,607 - Wonder... Elektra? Yes. Who could forget? - Elektra. 1198 01:07:24,441 --> 01:07:29,149 And you. I was not expecting to see you here. I thought you were, you know... 1199 01:07:29,316 --> 01:07:30,274 retired. 1200 01:07:31,524 --> 01:07:32,357 Retarded? 1201 01:07:33,857 --> 01:07:34,816 "Retired." 1202 01:07:34,982 --> 01:07:37,191 I'm already in The Void. I'm not trying to get canceled again. 1203 01:07:37,357 --> 01:07:38,107 I don't like you. 1204 01:07:38,274 --> 01:07:39,107 You never did. 1205 01:07:40,816 --> 01:07:44,524 And who's this succulent reminder of my own inadequacies? 1206 01:07:44,691 --> 01:07:45,774 Look at you. 1207 01:07:46,441 --> 01:07:48,524 You look like the superhero version of Hawkeye. 1208 01:07:49,149 --> 01:07:51,941 The name's Remy LeBeau, Le Diable Blanc. 1209 01:07:52,649 --> 01:07:53,607 But you can call me the Gambit. 1210 01:07:53,774 --> 01:07:56,524 It's been a while since I've seen Sling Blade. Hit me again. 1211 01:07:57,607 --> 01:07:58,566 They call me the Gambit. 1212 01:07:58,732 --> 01:08:01,191 Do they? Are you sure you didn't just really, really want them to... 1213 01:08:01,357 --> 01:08:02,482 but it never quite worked out? 1214 01:08:05,357 --> 01:08:07,649 You know, we never had a Wolverine up in here. 1215 01:08:08,441 --> 01:08:11,399 But I can tell you now, it's just a common courtesy to ask... 1216 01:08:11,566 --> 01:08:13,232 before you drink up all of my liquor. 1217 01:08:13,524 --> 01:08:15,566 Well, it's a good thing I don't give a fuck. 1218 01:08:18,774 --> 01:08:19,606 Fuck. 1219 01:08:22,731 --> 01:08:23,856 So embarrassing. 1220 01:08:26,066 --> 01:08:28,731 Well, now that that's settled, look, we came a long way to find you three. 1221 01:08:28,899 --> 01:08:29,691 There's four of us. 1222 01:08:29,856 --> 01:08:31,731 There's four... Hey, wait. Is it Magneto? 1223 01:08:32,566 --> 01:08:34,899 Dear sweet God in heaven, let it be Magneto... 1224 01:08:35,066 --> 01:08:35,941 - because with him... - He's dead. 1225 01:08:36,106 --> 01:08:37,981 Fuck! Now Disney gets cheap? 1226 01:08:38,149 --> 01:08:41,274 It's like Pinocchio jammed his face in my ass and started lying like crazy. 1227 01:08:41,441 --> 01:08:42,524 Ooh, you nasty! 1228 01:08:44,691 --> 01:08:47,399 Not a single word. What do you do exactly? 1229 01:08:47,566 --> 01:08:50,149 Charge the playing cards and make 'em go boom! 1230 01:08:50,316 --> 01:08:52,274 Your power's close up magic. That's good. 1231 01:08:52,441 --> 01:08:53,856 We're not totally fucked at all. 1232 01:08:54,024 --> 01:08:55,524 So who brought us here? 1233 01:08:55,691 --> 01:08:56,606 That would be me. 1234 01:09:06,941 --> 01:09:07,774 Don't make me regret it. 1235 01:09:10,024 --> 01:09:12,941 Holy shit. Logan. That's her. That's X-23. 1236 01:09:13,441 --> 01:09:14,941 She's the one I told you about. 1237 01:09:19,481 --> 01:09:21,566 Hey, how did you all get stuck in The Void? 1238 01:09:21,731 --> 01:09:23,106 There was a knock at the door. 1239 01:09:23,274 --> 01:09:25,191 - TVA sent me here. - Me, too. 1240 01:09:25,356 --> 01:09:27,524 Well, maybe I was born here. It's, it's hard to know for sure. 1241 01:09:27,856 --> 01:09:30,066 TVA decided our universe was dying. 1242 01:09:31,356 --> 01:09:33,231 And I never even got a chance to fight for it. 1243 01:09:36,066 --> 01:09:38,149 People like us don't go quietly. 1244 01:09:38,316 --> 01:09:40,149 TVA knows that, so they took us out. 1245 01:09:40,856 --> 01:09:42,856 The answer is yes. I'm in. 1246 01:09:43,024 --> 01:09:44,441 - In what? - A team. 1247 01:09:45,106 --> 01:09:46,981 Me, you, you, and me. All of us together. 1248 01:09:47,149 --> 01:09:48,231 Let's get the fuck out of this place. 1249 01:09:48,399 --> 01:09:51,816 - Don't listen to him. He's a fucking liar! - It was an educated wish! 1250 01:09:52,856 --> 01:09:53,691 Look. 1251 01:09:55,232 --> 01:09:56,899 We've been inside Cassandra's lair. 1252 01:09:57,232 --> 01:09:59,774 The only way out of The Void is through her. 1253 01:09:59,941 --> 01:10:01,691 She can get us home. She told us. 1254 01:10:01,857 --> 01:10:03,399 Wait a minute, you've been inside? 1255 01:10:04,191 --> 01:10:05,982 - And you made it out alive? - Bullshit. 1256 01:10:06,149 --> 01:10:07,732 - Nobody's ever done that. - We did. 1257 01:10:07,899 --> 01:10:10,149 Every time one of us has gone up against her... 1258 01:10:10,566 --> 01:10:11,399 they die. 1259 01:10:11,857 --> 01:10:14,566 The Punisher, The Quicksilver, The Daredevil. 1260 01:10:14,732 --> 01:10:16,066 Daredevil? I'm so sorry. 1261 01:10:16,232 --> 01:10:17,399 - It's fine. - Okay. 1262 01:10:19,691 --> 01:10:22,149 Even that sweet, baby angel, Johnny Storm. 1263 01:10:22,899 --> 01:10:24,441 He up and gone missing like... 1264 01:10:24,732 --> 01:10:25,732 what, two days ago? 1265 01:10:26,441 --> 01:10:28,149 Ugh. That's so sad. 1266 01:10:28,857 --> 01:10:31,607 Wherever this Johnny fella is, I'm sure he's thriving. 1267 01:10:32,774 --> 01:10:35,857 Look, there's, there's strength in numbers. All right? Us... 1268 01:10:36,024 --> 01:10:37,399 plus, you guys. We can put Cassandra... 1269 01:10:37,566 --> 01:10:39,691 over our knee and force her to let us out of The Void. 1270 01:10:39,857 --> 01:10:41,441 I know what it means to feel self-doubt. 1271 01:10:41,607 --> 01:10:43,024 - I don't feel that at all. - I'm good. 1272 01:10:43,191 --> 01:10:45,107 Gnawing at your gut like a coked-up tapeworm. 1273 01:10:45,274 --> 01:10:46,941 It's like you're holding up a mirror to my soul. 1274 01:10:47,107 --> 01:10:49,732 You guys may not have been able to save your universes. 1275 01:10:49,899 --> 01:10:51,357 But you can avenge them. 1276 01:10:52,149 --> 01:10:53,524 It's what Johnny would have wanted. 1277 01:10:53,691 --> 01:10:56,357 Wait. You knew Johnny? 1278 01:10:57,357 --> 01:10:58,524 Oh, yeah. 1279 01:10:58,691 --> 01:11:00,524 Dickhead here talked him into a team up... 1280 01:11:00,691 --> 01:11:03,066 and Johnny came down with a little case of the deads. 1281 01:11:03,232 --> 01:11:04,482 No, no, no. We don't know that. 1282 01:11:04,649 --> 01:11:06,774 It was just a flesh wound. He may have survived. 1283 01:11:06,941 --> 01:11:09,524 If he survived that, he is prayin' for death. 1284 01:11:09,691 --> 01:11:11,982 - Thank you, Doctor Wolverine! - Spill it! 1285 01:11:12,149 --> 01:11:13,357 What'd you do to Johnny, huh? 1286 01:11:13,524 --> 01:11:14,732 Talk or I'm gonna start dealin'. 1287 01:11:14,899 --> 01:11:16,107 Okay. Okay. Hey, hey, hey. 1288 01:11:16,774 --> 01:11:17,607 Look. 1289 01:11:17,774 --> 01:11:20,066 He ran his fat-ass mouth about Cassandra. 1290 01:11:20,232 --> 01:11:21,941 Then she zip-zapped his skin... 1291 01:11:22,107 --> 01:11:24,149 leaving his organs to splash crudely onto the ground... 1292 01:11:24,316 --> 01:11:26,857 while the soil greedily drank his blood. It was horrible. 1293 01:11:27,024 --> 01:11:28,357 He was like a brother to me. 1294 01:11:28,982 --> 01:11:31,982 Look, he died before he could make a difference. But... 1295 01:11:32,149 --> 01:11:34,482 Look, maybe you couldn't save your worlds, but... 1296 01:11:34,649 --> 01:11:37,191 but Jesus Christ, you can save mine! 1297 01:11:37,357 --> 01:11:39,816 I don't give a shit about your world, but... 1298 01:11:39,982 --> 01:11:42,899 if these two made it out of there alive, maybe together... 1299 01:11:43,066 --> 01:11:44,691 we can get back in. And take her down. 1300 01:11:44,857 --> 01:11:47,399 Where I come from, we call that suicide, Chère. 1301 01:11:47,857 --> 01:11:51,566 If we can block her psychic powers, we can get a leg up. I know it. 1302 01:11:51,732 --> 01:11:53,274 Now I know Magneto's dead. 1303 01:11:53,816 --> 01:11:55,732 But I'd venture to guess that his helmet... 1304 01:11:55,899 --> 01:11:58,274 - is lying around here somewhere... - Cassandra melted the helmet. 1305 01:11:58,441 --> 01:11:59,566 - Fuck! - After she killed him. 1306 01:11:59,732 --> 01:12:00,649 Fuck! 1307 01:12:00,816 --> 01:12:01,607 She don't play. 1308 01:12:01,774 --> 01:12:04,691 She knows that helmet was the only way to protect anyone from her powers. 1309 01:12:04,857 --> 01:12:07,191 The only other helmet that strong is Juggernaut's, but... 1310 01:12:07,357 --> 01:12:09,441 - he works for Cassandra. - Juggernaut's helmet. That's it. 1311 01:12:09,607 --> 01:12:11,149 Yeah, and we done be knowing that lid ain't comin' off... 1312 01:12:11,316 --> 01:12:13,607 - without that dome gonna come off wit'it. - I'm so sorry, beautiful. 1313 01:12:13,774 --> 01:12:17,107 I want this to be gentle. Who is your dialect coach? The Minions? 1314 01:12:17,274 --> 01:12:20,107 I feel like we are missing critical exposition here. 1315 01:12:21,607 --> 01:12:24,316 I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of hiding. 1316 01:12:25,607 --> 01:12:27,524 Let's face it, our worlds forgot about us. 1317 01:12:27,691 --> 01:12:29,316 Or never learned about us. 1318 01:12:29,482 --> 01:12:30,774 The heroes we were. 1319 01:12:30,941 --> 01:12:32,066 Lives we saved. 1320 01:12:32,232 --> 01:12:33,691 Or wanted to save. 1321 01:12:33,857 --> 01:12:35,524 Maybe these two are our chance. 1322 01:12:37,149 --> 01:12:38,232 To be remembered. 1323 01:12:38,691 --> 01:12:39,774 The way we deserve. 1324 01:12:40,941 --> 01:12:41,899 Yes. 1325 01:12:42,066 --> 01:12:42,982 An ending. 1326 01:12:43,857 --> 01:12:44,982 - Legacy. - Yes! 1327 01:12:45,149 --> 01:12:46,732 Yes! Let this man cook. 1328 01:12:46,899 --> 01:12:48,149 This is what I'm talking about. 1329 01:12:48,316 --> 01:12:50,149 Big slow-motion fights, sad music. 1330 01:12:50,316 --> 01:12:53,274 Everybody working together. Who knows if you live or die? That sorta thing. 1331 01:12:53,441 --> 01:12:55,441 - Who's ready? - I was born ready. 1332 01:12:55,607 --> 01:12:56,607 Yes! Gambit? 1333 01:12:56,774 --> 01:12:59,691 I ain't know my daddy, but I'm sure I shot out of his dick ready. 1334 01:12:59,857 --> 01:13:01,607 Jesus Christ, that is graphic. 1335 01:13:01,774 --> 01:13:03,649 Yeah. He was layin' them buttery nuts all up in my mama... 1336 01:13:03,816 --> 01:13:05,607 and I shot out there and I said, "What's up, Doc?" 1337 01:13:06,441 --> 01:13:09,649 Johnny must have loved you. X-23, what's it gonna be? 1338 01:13:10,524 --> 01:13:11,524 The name's Laura. 1339 01:13:11,691 --> 01:13:14,566 - Let's fucking go. - Let's fucking go! 1340 01:13:14,732 --> 01:13:16,357 - It's on like chicken and corn. - Yeah! 1341 01:13:16,524 --> 01:13:18,441 - We're doing this. - You're all fuckin' dead. 1342 01:13:18,607 --> 01:13:20,649 My God! Read the room. 1343 01:13:31,774 --> 01:13:34,691 Hey, hey. I'm not lookin' for company. Get out of here. 1344 01:13:36,899 --> 01:13:37,941 You remind me of him. 1345 01:13:38,566 --> 01:13:40,024 Angry. Drunk. Mean... 1346 01:13:40,399 --> 01:13:42,357 - Sounds like a great guy... - Wasn't finished. 1347 01:13:44,357 --> 01:13:45,857 Showed up when it mattered the most. 1348 01:13:48,149 --> 01:13:49,732 Couldn't help it. 1349 01:13:53,149 --> 01:13:54,107 You might not know it, but... 1350 01:13:55,566 --> 01:13:56,691 you're a good man, Logan. 1351 01:13:59,024 --> 01:14:01,732 You might not know it, but apparently, I'm the worst Logan. 1352 01:14:03,941 --> 01:14:05,566 I got to have a life because of you. 1353 01:14:08,691 --> 01:14:10,107 I got to grow up because of you. 1354 01:14:12,357 --> 01:14:13,441 A lot of kids did. 1355 01:14:14,107 --> 01:14:16,024 A lot of kids didn't grow up because of me. 1356 01:14:18,274 --> 01:14:19,774 Trust me, kid, I'm no hero. 1357 01:14:21,191 --> 01:14:22,649 That suit says different. 1358 01:14:23,316 --> 01:14:24,566 Yeah. Do you like it? 1359 01:14:27,316 --> 01:14:28,941 Scott used to beg me to wear it. 1360 01:14:31,274 --> 01:14:33,774 So did Jean, Storm, Beast. 1361 01:14:35,899 --> 01:14:36,899 All of them. 1362 01:14:38,191 --> 01:14:41,399 They wanted me to be part of the team, but I wouldn't. 1363 01:14:41,899 --> 01:14:45,024 Told 'em they all look fucking ridiculous. I mean... 1364 01:14:47,066 --> 01:14:49,524 I couldn't have 'em thinkin' I wanted to be there. 1365 01:14:55,357 --> 01:14:58,357 And then one day, while I was off on my own, the humans came... 1366 01:14:59,232 --> 01:15:00,524 and went mutant hunting. 1367 01:15:01,857 --> 01:15:02,941 I can guess the rest. 1368 01:15:03,107 --> 01:15:03,941 No, no, let me... 1369 01:15:05,649 --> 01:15:06,607 Let me say it. I... 1370 01:15:09,399 --> 01:15:10,357 I need to say it. 1371 01:15:13,232 --> 01:15:16,357 By the time I stumbled home shitfaced from the bar, it was too late. 1372 01:15:20,982 --> 01:15:21,982 They were dead. Every... 1373 01:15:28,691 --> 01:15:31,649 This suit's all I got to remind me of who they were. 1374 01:15:33,649 --> 01:15:34,524 And what I did. 1375 01:15:47,816 --> 01:15:49,274 We're headed to Cassandra's at sunup. 1376 01:15:50,316 --> 01:15:52,107 Have fun. Not my fight. 1377 01:15:55,607 --> 01:15:56,982 We won't pull this off without you. 1378 01:16:04,274 --> 01:16:07,399 Hey. Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy. 1379 01:16:10,357 --> 01:16:11,482 You were always the wrong guy. 1380 01:16:37,691 --> 01:16:38,524 What? 1381 01:16:38,691 --> 01:16:40,149 Alioth didn't get them. 1382 01:16:41,107 --> 01:16:43,316 Cassandra wanted to play with them herself first. 1383 01:16:43,482 --> 01:16:44,316 They got away. 1384 01:16:44,482 --> 01:16:46,107 - Did they find the others? - No. 1385 01:16:46,274 --> 01:16:47,482 Good. All right. Phew. 1386 01:16:47,649 --> 01:16:48,691 The others found them. 1387 01:16:48,857 --> 01:16:51,482 Oh, very cute. Well done, Pyro. Classic bait and switch. 1388 01:16:51,649 --> 01:16:53,107 - You really got me there. - Relax. 1389 01:16:54,066 --> 01:16:56,357 If they come after Nova, she'll handle it. 1390 01:16:56,524 --> 01:16:58,566 Cassandra is a lunatic wild card. 1391 01:16:58,732 --> 01:17:00,357 Why do you think we put her there in the first place? 1392 01:17:00,941 --> 01:17:02,899 Thank God she's never chosen to leave The Void. 1393 01:17:03,066 --> 01:17:05,607 The Time Ripper is hours away from completion. 1394 01:17:05,774 --> 01:17:06,899 I cannot take any chances. 1395 01:17:07,066 --> 01:17:08,107 Well, maybe not. 1396 01:17:08,274 --> 01:17:09,357 But I can. 1397 01:17:09,524 --> 01:17:10,482 For a price. 1398 01:17:10,649 --> 01:17:12,107 Why do you have to say it in that silly voice? 1399 01:17:12,274 --> 01:17:13,357 It's so icky. 1400 01:17:13,524 --> 01:17:14,357 You want it done or not? 1401 01:17:14,524 --> 01:17:15,357 All right. Your price. 1402 01:17:15,524 --> 01:17:16,774 Take her out. 1403 01:17:17,441 --> 01:17:18,982 Ugh. Mutants. 1404 01:17:41,191 --> 01:17:42,274 Ooh! Look at that there! 1405 01:17:42,441 --> 01:17:45,149 You see them biggum hands come closed. Ain't not a wonna gettin' up inside there. 1406 01:17:45,316 --> 01:17:46,566 I think what Gambit's trying to say is... 1407 01:17:46,732 --> 01:17:49,441 getting Juggernaut's helmet ain't gonna be easy. 1408 01:17:49,607 --> 01:17:51,232 I'm just making stuff up at this... 1409 01:17:51,399 --> 01:17:53,107 - Yeah. Tilt up to Blade. - Gun! 1410 01:17:57,857 --> 01:17:59,066 Where'd he get that little beauty? 1411 01:17:59,524 --> 01:18:01,607 That's Punisher's AT4. 1412 01:18:01,774 --> 01:18:03,774 Which Punisher? There's been like five of them. 1413 01:18:03,941 --> 01:18:05,232 There's only been one Blade... 1414 01:18:05,816 --> 01:18:07,732 and there's only ever gonna be one Blade. 1415 01:18:11,774 --> 01:18:12,941 Incoming! 1416 01:19:19,649 --> 01:19:21,816 Ooh, this is gonna be good. 1417 01:19:21,982 --> 01:19:24,232 You know how long I've been waiting for this? 1418 01:19:24,399 --> 01:19:26,566 Whoo! I'm about to make a name for myself here. 1419 01:19:26,732 --> 01:19:28,566 I don't think you guys walk away from this. 1420 01:19:28,732 --> 01:19:30,732 You just make sure people know what happened here today. 1421 01:19:30,899 --> 01:19:32,857 And when you get out of here, you have a drink for me, yeah? 1422 01:19:33,024 --> 01:19:35,357 You just stay on our six and get inside. 1423 01:19:35,524 --> 01:19:37,441 We'll make sure you get the package. 1424 01:19:37,941 --> 01:19:39,232 And we'll get our ending. 1425 01:20:49,357 --> 01:20:50,399 And boom! 1426 01:21:22,107 --> 01:21:24,232 Some motherfuckers still trying to ice skate uphill. 1427 01:21:31,274 --> 01:21:33,191 You two escaping, I could live with. 1428 01:21:33,566 --> 01:21:36,232 But coming back? Willingly? 1429 01:21:37,857 --> 01:21:39,607 Boys are so silly. 1430 01:21:39,774 --> 01:21:40,899 I just need to get home. 1431 01:21:41,066 --> 01:21:43,357 Well, that's not on the menu, I'm afraid. 1432 01:21:43,524 --> 01:21:46,774 It's death or enslavement. À la carte, of course. 1433 01:21:46,941 --> 01:21:47,941 Upsy-daisy. 1434 01:21:53,774 --> 01:21:54,649 Finally... 1435 01:21:54,816 --> 01:21:56,691 it's nice to give someone else a chance to talk. 1436 01:21:56,857 --> 01:21:58,274 Not my strong suit. 1437 01:22:16,566 --> 01:22:17,774 You shouldn't have done that. 1438 01:22:41,357 --> 01:22:43,774 You are an interesting one, aren't you? 1439 01:22:44,357 --> 01:22:48,316 I do feel like you get lost behind all of his... 1440 01:22:50,649 --> 01:22:53,149 Deadpools are a dime a dozen here in The Void. 1441 01:22:54,107 --> 01:22:55,482 But you... 1442 01:22:55,982 --> 01:22:58,982 What's going on in here? 1443 01:23:12,524 --> 01:23:13,649 Interesting... 1444 01:23:14,816 --> 01:23:16,732 Not what I expected back here. 1445 01:23:17,816 --> 01:23:19,024 Behind the anger. 1446 01:23:23,149 --> 01:23:24,066 You're hiding. 1447 01:23:24,399 --> 01:23:25,232 From them. 1448 01:23:26,441 --> 01:23:28,107 From all the ones you let down. 1449 01:23:30,774 --> 01:23:31,982 So much pain. 1450 01:23:34,566 --> 01:23:35,441 I walked away. 1451 01:23:36,857 --> 01:23:38,399 They called after me and I... 1452 01:23:38,566 --> 01:23:40,357 I walked away. 1453 01:23:40,524 --> 01:23:42,149 I always do. 1454 01:23:42,316 --> 01:23:44,024 - Logan! - I know. 1455 01:23:45,441 --> 01:23:46,732 That's not all you did. 1456 01:23:46,899 --> 01:23:48,316 Is it? 1457 01:23:51,857 --> 01:23:53,232 You found them. 1458 01:23:54,232 --> 01:23:55,232 The X-Men. 1459 01:24:00,649 --> 01:24:01,649 Dead. 1460 01:24:04,399 --> 01:24:05,607 Piled like wood. 1461 01:24:07,316 --> 01:24:08,482 What did you do? 1462 01:24:11,191 --> 01:24:12,399 I started killing. 1463 01:24:13,191 --> 01:24:15,691 And I couldn't stop. I didn't wanna stop. 1464 01:24:16,982 --> 01:24:19,816 All those bad men. 1465 01:24:23,566 --> 01:24:25,149 It's not just the bad ones. 1466 01:24:26,816 --> 01:24:27,982 My little animal. 1467 01:24:30,857 --> 01:24:33,649 And I turned the whole world against the X-Men. 1468 01:24:34,024 --> 01:24:35,024 Blade! 1469 01:24:40,607 --> 01:24:41,816 Just once... 1470 01:24:43,774 --> 01:24:46,316 I wanna be the man that Charles thought I was. 1471 01:24:47,524 --> 01:24:48,649 Logan... 1472 01:24:50,232 --> 01:24:53,899 in The Void you can be what you are. 1473 01:24:56,316 --> 01:24:57,774 I just wanna be free. 1474 01:24:58,566 --> 01:25:00,024 I can set you free. 1475 01:25:11,649 --> 01:25:16,774 I can silence all those voices. 1476 01:25:23,607 --> 01:25:24,607 I've got you. 1477 01:25:27,232 --> 01:25:28,232 I've got you. 1478 01:25:28,982 --> 01:25:29,816 No. 1479 01:25:31,274 --> 01:25:32,316 I got you. 1480 01:25:40,982 --> 01:25:42,607 Get it off! 1481 01:25:42,774 --> 01:25:45,899 You're gonna send us home, or I'm gonna twist your fucking head off. 1482 01:25:46,066 --> 01:25:47,149 Why are you laughing? 1483 01:25:47,816 --> 01:25:51,607 I can't send you home unless you get this thing off my head. 1484 01:25:52,191 --> 01:25:53,316 And as soon as you do that... 1485 01:25:53,482 --> 01:25:56,357 I'm going to boil your brains on an atomic level whilst... 1486 01:25:56,524 --> 01:25:59,107 flicking my bean to the Enya box set. 1487 01:25:59,274 --> 01:26:00,316 There's an Enya box set? 1488 01:26:00,482 --> 01:26:01,732 Either you kill me... 1489 01:26:01,899 --> 01:26:03,024 or I kill you. 1490 01:26:04,107 --> 01:26:05,649 Both wonderful options. 1491 01:26:06,191 --> 01:26:07,024 You want me to do it? 1492 01:26:07,482 --> 01:26:08,357 No, I'll do it. 1493 01:26:08,524 --> 01:26:10,566 I have her neck right here. It's really no problem. 1494 01:26:10,732 --> 01:26:11,441 You'll screw it up. 1495 01:26:11,607 --> 01:26:14,149 Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13, except the last one! 1496 01:26:15,024 --> 01:26:16,107 What the fuck? 1497 01:26:18,441 --> 01:26:20,691 You have no idea what it's like! 1498 01:26:20,857 --> 01:26:23,774 Day after day. Shovel the shit. 1499 01:26:23,941 --> 01:26:25,274 Fetch the meats. 1500 01:26:25,441 --> 01:26:27,399 I have spent my entire... 1501 01:26:30,399 --> 01:26:31,899 Not everyone gets a speech. 1502 01:26:33,857 --> 01:26:34,857 She's gonna die. 1503 01:26:35,024 --> 01:26:36,482 Okay. Hey, hey. If I take this helmet off... 1504 01:26:36,649 --> 01:26:38,441 - do you promise you won't kill us? - Fuck! 1505 01:26:38,607 --> 01:26:39,441 I promise... 1506 01:26:39,607 --> 01:26:41,399 I will kill you first thing. 1507 01:26:41,566 --> 01:26:42,816 Why are you like this? 1508 01:26:42,982 --> 01:26:44,232 I wish I knew. 1509 01:26:44,399 --> 01:26:45,274 Take it off. 1510 01:26:45,441 --> 01:26:46,316 - What? - Take it off. 1511 01:26:46,482 --> 01:26:47,316 - Why? - Just take it off. 1512 01:26:47,482 --> 01:26:50,232 - This is our only chance to fix our shit! - Take it off! 1513 01:26:52,149 --> 01:26:53,399 I am wearing this suit. 1514 01:26:54,607 --> 01:26:56,732 And that means a lot of things, but most of all... 1515 01:26:58,232 --> 01:26:59,357 it means I'm an X-Man. 1516 01:27:00,482 --> 01:27:01,899 And I know your brother. 1517 01:27:04,232 --> 01:27:05,732 As much as I want to fucking kill you... 1518 01:27:05,899 --> 01:27:08,399 every bone in my body wants to fucking kill you... 1519 01:27:08,566 --> 01:27:11,566 he would not let me stand here and watch you die! 1520 01:27:14,024 --> 01:27:15,232 Take your hands off. 1521 01:27:16,899 --> 01:27:18,149 This is for him. 1522 01:27:20,066 --> 01:27:21,316 This is for Charles. 1523 01:27:31,941 --> 01:27:34,566 Hey, no, no, no! Don't you dare do me like Johnny! 1524 01:27:40,899 --> 01:27:41,982 My brother loved you. 1525 01:27:43,857 --> 01:27:44,941 He loved all of us. 1526 01:27:48,024 --> 01:27:49,107 Must be nice. 1527 01:27:50,232 --> 01:27:51,524 He would've loved you, too. 1528 01:27:54,399 --> 01:27:55,566 If he knew about you... 1529 01:27:57,357 --> 01:27:58,857 if he knew where you were... 1530 01:27:59,024 --> 01:28:02,066 he would've torn a hole in the fucking universe to bring you home. 1531 01:28:05,899 --> 01:28:06,982 This is my home. 1532 01:28:08,066 --> 01:28:10,316 Well, then at least let us save his. 1533 01:28:14,482 --> 01:28:15,982 You want to hear something crazy? 1534 01:28:17,941 --> 01:28:20,816 An amateur magician rolled through here a while back. 1535 01:28:21,732 --> 01:28:23,191 I killed him, of course. 1536 01:28:23,899 --> 01:28:26,149 Wore his skin around for four days. 1537 01:28:27,191 --> 01:28:28,024 But... 1538 01:28:28,191 --> 01:28:29,607 I found this... 1539 01:28:29,774 --> 01:28:31,607 little trinket... 1540 01:28:31,774 --> 01:28:33,899 on his lovely fingers. 1541 01:28:34,066 --> 01:28:35,232 Strange! 1542 01:28:38,316 --> 01:28:40,441 - Marvel sparkle circle. - What is that? 1543 01:28:41,357 --> 01:28:43,274 This is your way home. 1544 01:28:43,441 --> 01:28:46,899 I do owe you for saving my life. But let's keep things interesting. 1545 01:28:47,066 --> 01:28:50,357 I'd say you have about four seconds before you're Alioth's food. 1546 01:28:55,232 --> 01:28:56,066 Race ya. 1547 01:30:19,649 --> 01:30:21,232 {\an8}And as I said we've got a standard three-year... 1548 01:30:21,399 --> 01:30:22,691 {\an8}bumper to bumper warranty. 1549 01:30:22,857 --> 01:30:24,607 Glad you gave us a second chance. 1550 01:30:24,774 --> 01:30:28,316 And don't worry. Wade and I are a team, so I'll see he gets half the commission... 1551 01:30:30,899 --> 01:30:33,107 That feels like a Kia. 1552 01:30:33,274 --> 01:30:34,899 It's a fucking Kia Carnival, isn't it? 1553 01:30:36,774 --> 01:30:39,607 Holy shit. That's Deadpool. 1554 01:30:39,774 --> 01:30:40,899 And that's Wolverine. 1555 01:30:41,066 --> 01:30:42,149 You're damn straight it is. 1556 01:30:42,316 --> 01:30:43,232 Fox killed him. 1557 01:30:43,399 --> 01:30:45,941 Disney brought him back. They're going to make him do this 'til he's 90. 1558 01:30:46,482 --> 01:30:47,441 Let's go. 1559 01:30:48,232 --> 01:30:49,316 I'll clock you out! 1560 01:30:49,691 --> 01:30:50,899 Forever! 1561 01:30:51,607 --> 01:30:52,607 Forever. 1562 01:30:59,982 --> 01:31:01,191 Wakey-wakey. 1563 01:31:01,357 --> 01:31:02,357 God? 1564 01:31:04,107 --> 01:31:06,816 Now you put all these bullets in my belly... 1565 01:31:07,524 --> 01:31:09,066 and I'm gonna find out why. 1566 01:31:11,482 --> 01:31:12,857 I'll just say it. 1567 01:31:13,566 --> 01:31:15,357 You don't have to stick your fingers in me. 1568 01:31:15,524 --> 01:31:17,774 Jesus, just ask sometimes. 1569 01:31:18,149 --> 01:31:19,191 Fine. 1570 01:31:20,399 --> 01:31:21,399 Really? 1571 01:31:22,066 --> 01:31:23,316 Hands in pockets. 1572 01:31:24,857 --> 01:31:26,024 Guy named Paradox. 1573 01:31:26,941 --> 01:31:28,191 He said he'd get me out of The Void. 1574 01:31:28,357 --> 01:31:30,149 All I know is he works for the TVA. 1575 01:31:30,316 --> 01:31:31,316 The TVA. 1576 01:31:31,482 --> 01:31:32,524 We had an agreement. 1577 01:31:32,816 --> 01:31:34,357 I don't think this guy cares. 1578 01:31:35,649 --> 01:31:36,691 He will. 1579 01:31:37,191 --> 01:31:38,232 Hey, people! 1580 01:31:38,566 --> 01:31:40,691 How much longer before the Time Ripper is active? 1581 01:31:40,857 --> 01:31:42,691 We're running the final safety checks. 1582 01:31:42,857 --> 01:31:44,816 Okay. All right. Thanks for all your hard work, Ralph. 1583 01:31:44,982 --> 01:31:46,357 - Take your time. - Really? 1584 01:31:46,524 --> 01:31:48,066 No, you drooling boob! 1585 01:31:48,232 --> 01:31:49,316 No! We have company. 1586 01:31:49,482 --> 01:31:52,482 Cancel the safety checks. We need to be live now! 1587 01:31:52,816 --> 01:31:54,274 I hate you so much. 1588 01:31:56,482 --> 01:31:57,482 No! Stop! 1589 01:31:57,649 --> 01:31:59,232 Piss off! You're too late. 1590 01:31:59,399 --> 01:32:01,149 - You're fuckin' done. - Why was Thor crying? 1591 01:32:01,316 --> 01:32:02,316 How dare you! 1592 01:32:02,482 --> 01:32:04,649 No one comes back from The Void. 1593 01:32:04,816 --> 01:32:06,274 Tell that to Cassandra Nova. 1594 01:32:15,107 --> 01:32:16,899 Paradox. We have a problem. 1595 01:32:19,982 --> 01:32:21,191 Paradox. 1596 01:32:23,524 --> 01:32:25,982 Well, you are doughier than you looked in Pyro's head. 1597 01:32:26,149 --> 01:32:27,316 You tried to kill me. 1598 01:32:27,482 --> 01:32:28,482 I literally have no... 1599 01:32:29,441 --> 01:32:33,107 You come for the king, you better kill the king. 1600 01:32:34,024 --> 01:32:36,399 Welcome to the skull fuck club, Paradox. 1601 01:32:36,566 --> 01:32:38,691 You know she doesn't wash that hand. 1602 01:32:40,441 --> 01:32:41,566 What's this? 1603 01:32:42,899 --> 01:32:44,232 A Time Ripper? 1604 01:32:44,399 --> 01:32:46,107 - Naughty boy. - Oh, no. We're on it. 1605 01:32:46,274 --> 01:32:47,899 We're gonna head down and dismantle that thing now. 1606 01:32:48,066 --> 01:32:50,357 We got ya, boo. You just keep playing those keys. 1607 01:32:50,524 --> 01:32:52,024 I don't want to destroy it. 1608 01:32:52,691 --> 01:32:54,024 I want to use it. 1609 01:32:54,566 --> 01:32:57,066 Now, shoo. Mummy and Daddy are having a conversation. 1610 01:33:03,774 --> 01:33:05,566 You know, the funny thing is... 1611 01:33:05,732 --> 01:33:07,191 I was happy in The Void. 1612 01:33:08,232 --> 01:33:11,149 You sent your trash to me. Alioth and I cleaned it up. 1613 01:33:11,316 --> 01:33:13,274 Everyone was happy. 1614 01:33:14,149 --> 01:33:17,232 And then you had to go and piss on my side of the fence. 1615 01:33:17,399 --> 01:33:19,566 And so now the fence must come down. 1616 01:33:20,274 --> 01:33:22,107 I'm going to use your little Time Ripper. 1617 01:33:22,274 --> 01:33:24,857 And I'm going to destroy this universe... 1618 01:33:25,024 --> 01:33:27,732 and the next and the next and the next... 1619 01:33:27,899 --> 01:33:31,482 until all that's left is The Void. 1620 01:33:31,649 --> 01:33:33,524 And I get to play God. 1621 01:33:34,066 --> 01:33:35,066 Come on. 1622 01:33:35,524 --> 01:33:38,357 Now you're going to show me how to use this fancy gadget of yours. 1623 01:33:38,524 --> 01:33:41,899 And don't worry, I've called some friends to make sure we're not disturbed. 1624 01:33:45,482 --> 01:33:48,024 Sorry to bother, madam, but there's something you need to see. 1625 01:33:48,566 --> 01:33:52,566 We're getting indications of an unsanctioned Time Ripper activating on Earth-10005. 1626 01:33:54,857 --> 01:33:56,066 Whose district is that? 1627 01:33:56,441 --> 01:33:57,357 Paradox. 1628 01:34:09,399 --> 01:34:11,607 Well, thank you so much for your help, darling. 1629 01:34:11,774 --> 01:34:14,191 God. Good to get out of that head. 1630 01:34:14,357 --> 01:34:15,857 What a mess! 1631 01:34:23,191 --> 01:34:24,024 Stop! 1632 01:34:24,524 --> 01:34:26,524 Let's give it a beat for the extras to clear. 1633 01:34:26,691 --> 01:34:28,732 Go, go, go! Oh, my God! 1634 01:34:33,524 --> 01:34:36,191 - Oh. My. God. - Fuck. 1635 01:34:43,941 --> 01:34:45,316 It's her! 1636 01:34:46,566 --> 01:34:47,691 Come on, girl! 1637 01:34:55,107 --> 01:34:56,316 Come on, girl! 1638 01:35:11,066 --> 01:35:12,191 That's my girl! 1639 01:35:12,357 --> 01:35:15,649 We don't have to be apart ever, ever again. Never, ever... 1640 01:35:15,816 --> 01:35:16,899 - Sorry! - Fuck! 1641 01:35:18,024 --> 01:35:19,816 What's Café Gratitude doing here? 1642 01:35:19,982 --> 01:35:21,232 Sorry about that. 1643 01:35:21,399 --> 01:35:24,732 Tremble not, sweet Mary Puppins. I'll handle him. 1644 01:35:25,357 --> 01:35:26,399 Come here, girl. Papa's here. 1645 01:35:26,566 --> 01:35:28,982 Hey, do not insult this animal's autonomy. 1646 01:35:29,691 --> 01:35:31,732 She can decide who her papa is. 1647 01:35:31,899 --> 01:35:32,941 What's it gonna be, girl, huh? 1648 01:35:33,107 --> 01:35:35,607 Original recipe or Van Milder here? 1649 01:35:36,232 --> 01:35:39,107 That's funny. I can gently tap the fourth wall too. 1650 01:35:39,607 --> 01:35:40,774 The Proposal. 1651 01:35:42,524 --> 01:35:43,524 The fuck was that? 1652 01:35:43,691 --> 01:35:45,857 - Bitch, you think that's what I do? - Both of you shut up. 1653 01:35:47,357 --> 01:35:48,357 You smell somethin'? 1654 01:35:48,524 --> 01:35:49,357 Yeah, you. 1655 01:35:50,232 --> 01:35:51,816 A lot of you. 1656 01:36:06,982 --> 01:36:09,232 Told you there were a lot of Deadpools over there. 1657 01:36:20,774 --> 01:36:21,941 That's bad. 1658 01:36:44,441 --> 01:36:45,607 I take it they're not friendly. 1659 01:36:45,774 --> 01:36:46,649 Goodness, no. 1660 01:36:46,816 --> 01:36:48,857 Sorry about this, boys. Mission over. 1661 01:36:49,024 --> 01:36:51,691 Cause of death, one hundred kill-thirsty Deadpools. 1662 01:36:51,857 --> 01:36:52,941 They're dumb. 1663 01:36:53,107 --> 01:36:54,857 But they can fight. Not me, though. 1664 01:36:55,024 --> 01:36:57,232 Would love to get in the mix but I have low bone density... 1665 01:36:57,399 --> 01:36:58,899 and I have to keep my face safe. 1666 01:36:59,857 --> 01:37:00,857 - Hold, please. - Oh, God. 1667 01:37:01,024 --> 01:37:02,232 All right. Look. 1668 01:37:02,899 --> 01:37:03,899 Guys! 1669 01:37:05,107 --> 01:37:06,857 Deadpool Prime here. 1670 01:37:07,024 --> 01:37:08,482 - Our fight isn't with you... - Hey! 1671 01:37:08,649 --> 01:37:12,274 When I want your opinion, I'll take Wolverine's dick out of your mouth. 1672 01:37:12,441 --> 01:37:14,024 That's Kidpool. She's the dirtiest. 1673 01:37:14,191 --> 01:37:15,441 Can we just be done? 1674 01:37:15,607 --> 01:37:17,149 We're just getting started. 1675 01:37:17,316 --> 01:37:20,607 No, no, no. With the whole multiverse thing. 1676 01:37:21,524 --> 01:37:22,524 It's not great. 1677 01:37:22,691 --> 01:37:24,149 It's just been miss... 1678 01:37:24,607 --> 01:37:26,107 after miss... 1679 01:37:26,274 --> 01:37:27,982 after miss. 1680 01:37:28,357 --> 01:37:30,691 Look, The Wizard of Oz did the multiverse first... 1681 01:37:30,857 --> 01:37:33,149 and they did it best. The gays knew it. 1682 01:37:33,607 --> 01:37:34,857 But we didn't listen. 1683 01:37:35,024 --> 01:37:37,774 Let's just take the L and move on. 1684 01:37:37,941 --> 01:37:40,274 I think it's been steadily great since Endgame. 1685 01:37:40,441 --> 01:37:41,899 What are you talking about? 1686 01:37:42,066 --> 01:37:43,524 The multiverse is over. 1687 01:37:43,691 --> 01:37:46,566 Cassandy gonna destroy the fuck outta every timeline. 1688 01:37:46,732 --> 01:37:49,024 - Y'all can't do shit about it. - Do you not get it? 1689 01:37:49,191 --> 01:37:51,399 If we don't go down to the subway and stop her, we all die. 1690 01:37:51,566 --> 01:37:53,816 Say, the boss lady don't want no disturbances. 1691 01:37:53,982 --> 01:37:56,691 You wanna get down to the subway, you gotta go through us. 1692 01:37:56,857 --> 01:37:57,816 Uzi time, baby. 1693 01:37:58,107 --> 01:37:59,107 Uzi time, baby. 1694 01:37:59,274 --> 01:38:00,274 Look alive! 1695 01:38:09,732 --> 01:38:11,399 - I think I'm hit. - No shit. 1696 01:38:11,566 --> 01:38:12,482 You did that on purpose. 1697 01:38:12,649 --> 01:38:14,191 I did no such thing! 1698 01:38:14,357 --> 01:38:15,357 Listen to me, gorgeous. 1699 01:38:15,524 --> 01:38:16,774 How long does it take for you to regenerate? 1700 01:38:16,941 --> 01:38:18,191 Regenerate? 1701 01:38:24,399 --> 01:38:26,191 You really are God's perfect idiot, aren't you? 1702 01:38:26,357 --> 01:38:27,732 - I'm okay. - How dare you! 1703 01:38:27,899 --> 01:38:29,816 You insensitive son of a bitch! 1704 01:38:29,982 --> 01:38:31,899 How was I supposed to know he doesn't regenerate? 1705 01:38:32,066 --> 01:38:33,191 I'm not a medicine woman. 1706 01:38:33,649 --> 01:38:34,899 Look. A donut cart. 1707 01:38:35,066 --> 01:38:36,149 - They're practically hospitals. - What? 1708 01:38:36,316 --> 01:38:38,149 - They sell portable triage units. - They don't. 1709 01:38:38,316 --> 01:38:39,857 - I'm gonna get you to safety. - He's not. 1710 01:38:40,024 --> 01:38:41,191 Deep breath. 1711 01:38:49,566 --> 01:38:51,566 Hey, why are we stopping? 1712 01:38:51,732 --> 01:38:52,941 I'm just catching my breath. 1713 01:38:53,107 --> 01:38:55,691 What, are your legs on vacation? You're dead weight! 1714 01:38:55,857 --> 01:38:57,441 That's because I'm paralyzed. 1715 01:38:57,607 --> 01:38:59,607 We all have problems. Listen to me. 1716 01:38:59,774 --> 01:39:00,774 You're gonna live. 1717 01:39:01,899 --> 01:39:03,149 Look at me, Nicepool. 1718 01:39:07,107 --> 01:39:08,274 You're gonna live. 1719 01:39:08,982 --> 01:39:10,232 Say it! 1720 01:39:10,774 --> 01:39:12,107 I'm gonna live. 1721 01:39:12,399 --> 01:39:14,441 Say it with me. You're gonna live. 1722 01:39:14,607 --> 01:39:16,774 I'm gonna live! 1723 01:39:18,107 --> 01:39:20,149 Say it louder! 1724 01:39:20,316 --> 01:39:21,482 I'm gonna live... 1725 01:39:30,399 --> 01:39:31,399 Hold your fire! 1726 01:39:33,732 --> 01:39:35,024 Sweet little puppy. 1727 01:39:45,857 --> 01:39:48,316 God damn it! I don't think he's gonna make it. 1728 01:39:48,482 --> 01:39:50,566 God, he loved his face. 1729 01:39:50,732 --> 01:39:53,107 I can taste his final thought. 1730 01:39:53,274 --> 01:39:54,816 He was so afraid. 1731 01:39:54,982 --> 01:39:55,941 But he died a hero. 1732 01:39:56,107 --> 01:39:58,024 He died from murder, you dumb fuck. 1733 01:39:58,191 --> 01:39:59,982 And all I have to remember him by... 1734 01:40:00,899 --> 01:40:04,566 are these two gold-plated, ...50 caliber Desert Eagle pistoleros. 1735 01:40:05,024 --> 01:40:05,982 This is for him. 1736 01:40:06,607 --> 01:40:07,774 Are you ready? 1737 01:40:08,357 --> 01:40:10,107 I get to kill a hundred yous? 1738 01:40:10,274 --> 01:40:11,482 Fuck yeah, I'm ready. 1739 01:40:12,566 --> 01:40:13,857 Hey, you don't want to see this, bub. 1740 01:40:14,024 --> 01:40:15,316 That's a good girl. 1741 01:40:52,232 --> 01:40:53,607 Holy shit. 1742 01:40:53,774 --> 01:40:55,857 You save the good stuff for special occasions? 1743 01:40:56,024 --> 01:40:57,274 Killing mostly. 1744 01:40:57,441 --> 01:40:59,774 What's the wind resistance on those blowjob handles? 1745 01:41:01,066 --> 01:41:04,316 I'm sorry. I'm just a catty bitch when I'm jealous. 1746 01:41:04,482 --> 01:41:05,732 All right, let's do this. 1747 01:41:06,107 --> 01:41:07,316 Maximum effort. 1748 01:41:46,982 --> 01:41:48,066 You're dead. 1749 01:42:13,941 --> 01:42:15,191 Motherfucker. 1750 01:42:16,107 --> 01:42:17,732 I wish I were deaf. 1751 01:42:37,566 --> 01:42:39,399 I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. 1752 01:42:39,566 --> 01:42:40,607 I don't wanna... 1753 01:42:54,274 --> 01:42:55,441 Come on. 1754 01:42:55,607 --> 01:42:56,607 I blew it. 1755 01:42:56,774 --> 01:42:58,816 After all that, the only thing they're gonna remember... 1756 01:42:58,982 --> 01:43:00,691 is that God awful dismount! 1757 01:43:05,524 --> 01:43:07,024 What you laughing at, you little fucker? 1758 01:43:07,357 --> 01:43:08,482 Uh-oh. 1759 01:43:08,649 --> 01:43:09,691 Uh-oh. 1760 01:43:13,899 --> 01:43:15,482 I guess these ones regenerate. 1761 01:43:17,607 --> 01:43:19,982 Come on. We don't have time for this. 1762 01:43:20,149 --> 01:43:21,191 Deadpools! 1763 01:43:21,357 --> 01:43:22,441 Stand down. 1764 01:43:32,941 --> 01:43:34,441 This Deadpool's with me. 1765 01:43:34,607 --> 01:43:35,816 Oh, no. 1766 01:43:35,982 --> 01:43:37,191 Holy shit. 1767 01:43:37,357 --> 01:43:38,566 That's fuckin' Peter! 1768 01:43:41,774 --> 01:43:43,607 Wait, you... You guys know Peter? 1769 01:43:43,774 --> 01:43:45,899 You kidding me? Every Deadpool has a Peter. 1770 01:43:46,066 --> 01:43:49,649 Shit. Peter's a goddamn legend in every Deadpool's world. 1771 01:43:49,816 --> 01:43:50,899 Peter-san. 1772 01:43:59,274 --> 01:44:01,357 Peter. Peter. Peter. 1773 01:44:07,399 --> 01:44:08,941 Enjoy my Peter. 1774 01:44:36,482 --> 01:44:38,941 Oh, now you're here. Oh, well, you're too late. It's all over. 1775 01:44:39,107 --> 01:44:39,941 Not yet, it's not. 1776 01:44:40,107 --> 01:44:41,774 Whoa. No, no, no. We're very close. 1777 01:44:41,941 --> 01:44:43,274 Homestretch, folks. Promise. 1778 01:44:43,441 --> 01:44:44,941 Quick, let's up the stakes. 1779 01:44:45,107 --> 01:44:46,441 If she steals the Time Ripper's energy... 1780 01:44:46,607 --> 01:44:49,066 she has the power to shred the fabric of all realities... 1781 01:44:49,232 --> 01:44:50,857 until there is nothing left but The Void. 1782 01:44:51,024 --> 01:44:51,982 How do we shut it down? 1783 01:44:52,399 --> 01:44:53,316 I don't know. 1784 01:44:55,066 --> 01:44:56,149 How about now? 1785 01:44:56,316 --> 01:44:57,649 The mask is really intimidating, huh? 1786 01:44:57,816 --> 01:44:59,816 It's like Batman, except he can move his neck. 1787 01:44:59,982 --> 01:45:01,399 Okay, look, look, look. 1788 01:45:02,857 --> 01:45:05,232 The Ripper is fed from a secure chamber below ground. 1789 01:45:05,399 --> 01:45:09,524 It is powered by twin matter and anti-matter feeds converging inside the device. 1790 01:45:09,691 --> 01:45:10,816 Now, Cassandra Nova... 1791 01:45:10,982 --> 01:45:13,149 is redirecting the Ripper's power to eliminate all timelines... 1792 01:45:13,316 --> 01:45:14,316 starting with this one. 1793 01:45:14,482 --> 01:45:15,816 Theoretically, you could stop her... 1794 01:45:15,982 --> 01:45:17,816 by short-circuiting the feeds in the chamber below. 1795 01:45:17,982 --> 01:45:20,357 One of you were to create a circuit between the two feeds... 1796 01:45:20,524 --> 01:45:23,732 then the released power would destroy the machine. 1797 01:45:23,899 --> 01:45:25,691 - But, well, but... - Come on, man. 1798 01:45:25,857 --> 01:45:27,857 If you're not gonna swallow, spit it out. 1799 01:45:28,024 --> 01:45:31,066 Whoever formed the bridge would be annihilated. 1800 01:45:31,232 --> 01:45:32,857 - I could live with that. - Yeah, I could live with that, too, actually. 1801 01:45:33,024 --> 01:45:34,732 You know, we survive anything. We're like cockroaches. 1802 01:45:34,899 --> 01:45:35,816 Not this time. 1803 01:45:35,982 --> 01:45:38,649 This is matter and anti-matter. 1804 01:45:38,816 --> 01:45:40,732 They do not play nicely with each other. 1805 01:45:40,899 --> 01:45:43,649 When they mix in your body you will be atomized. 1806 01:45:44,232 --> 01:45:46,232 Trust the laws of physics if you don't trust me. 1807 01:45:46,399 --> 01:45:48,441 Even if you lived long enough to make the circuit... 1808 01:45:48,607 --> 01:45:51,149 you will die down there. 1809 01:46:16,482 --> 01:46:17,816 Hold off. Hold. 1810 01:46:17,982 --> 01:46:19,482 You heard that asshole upstairs. 1811 01:46:19,649 --> 01:46:23,691 Even if we pull this off, we're dead. Permanently. 1812 01:46:24,316 --> 01:46:25,357 That's why it's got to be me. 1813 01:46:25,524 --> 01:46:26,357 What? 1814 01:46:30,274 --> 01:46:31,107 Look, man... 1815 01:46:32,357 --> 01:46:34,107 you didn't ask for any of this. 1816 01:46:34,566 --> 01:46:35,691 You were right. 1817 01:46:36,024 --> 01:46:36,941 I lied. 1818 01:46:37,899 --> 01:46:39,607 I lied right to your face... 1819 01:46:39,774 --> 01:46:41,649 just to get you to help me. And you did. 1820 01:46:42,566 --> 01:46:44,024 You didn't lie. 1821 01:46:46,024 --> 01:46:47,399 You made an educated wish. 1822 01:46:50,482 --> 01:46:51,316 Come on. 1823 01:46:52,732 --> 01:46:54,482 You got a whole world to go back to. 1824 01:46:56,149 --> 01:46:56,982 I got nothin'. 1825 01:46:59,316 --> 01:47:00,149 I got nothin'. 1826 01:47:05,399 --> 01:47:06,232 Give me this. 1827 01:47:13,399 --> 01:47:14,607 Hey. 1828 01:47:19,107 --> 01:47:20,941 I waited a long time for this team up. 1829 01:47:23,232 --> 01:47:24,191 You know something? 1830 01:47:26,232 --> 01:47:27,732 You were the best Wolverine. 1831 01:47:36,607 --> 01:47:38,399 Say hi to your friends for me. 1832 01:47:50,482 --> 01:47:51,566 No! 1833 01:47:51,732 --> 01:47:52,691 Open the door! 1834 01:47:52,857 --> 01:47:55,482 I can't hear you over all the noble sacrifice. 1835 01:47:55,649 --> 01:47:56,774 Why are you fucking doing this? 1836 01:47:56,941 --> 01:48:00,066 Because I'm Marvel Jesus. 1837 01:48:01,774 --> 01:48:02,774 Or Spock. 1838 01:48:04,024 --> 01:48:05,024 Hard to say. 1839 01:48:09,649 --> 01:48:10,482 Wade! 1840 01:48:11,232 --> 01:48:13,191 You fucking idiot! 1841 01:48:18,357 --> 01:48:19,482 Sorry, I'm just stalling. 1842 01:48:19,649 --> 01:48:21,941 I think I'm nervous about dying. 1843 01:48:22,774 --> 01:48:23,899 This should be me. 1844 01:48:24,607 --> 01:48:26,274 Say hi to my friends for me, peanut. 1845 01:48:26,441 --> 01:48:27,441 Wade! 1846 01:48:27,607 --> 01:48:29,649 You want to be an annoying prick, do it this side! 1847 01:48:29,816 --> 01:48:31,857 You're gonna die in there, you dumb fuck! 1848 01:48:38,857 --> 01:48:40,524 Hey! You don't need to do this. 1849 01:48:40,941 --> 01:48:42,566 I'm not doing it 'cause I need it. 1850 01:48:43,607 --> 01:48:45,607 I'm doing it because they do. 1851 01:48:56,566 --> 01:48:57,816 No! 1852 01:49:27,149 --> 01:49:28,649 He's not gonna make it. 1853 01:49:37,357 --> 01:49:38,441 It's over. 1854 01:50:45,899 --> 01:50:47,232 The Wolverine. 1855 01:50:48,316 --> 01:50:50,107 He's a hero in my world. 1856 01:50:52,399 --> 01:50:54,899 Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy. 1857 01:50:56,441 --> 01:50:58,191 You were always the wrong guy... 1858 01:50:59,732 --> 01:51:01,357 till you weren't. 1859 01:51:03,399 --> 01:51:04,899 Wade. 1860 01:51:06,816 --> 01:51:11,399 Wade. You can finally, finally, matter. 1861 01:51:27,441 --> 01:51:28,441 Vanessa. 1862 01:51:30,899 --> 01:51:32,732 I wanna see Vanessa. 1863 01:51:39,024 --> 01:51:43,232 For the first time in my life, I am proud to wear this suit. 1864 01:51:44,441 --> 01:51:46,107 It means I'm an X-Man. 1865 01:51:48,607 --> 01:51:50,191 I am the X-Man. 1866 01:52:34,232 --> 01:52:35,774 Paradox. 1867 01:52:37,607 --> 01:52:38,774 You've been busy. 1868 01:52:39,191 --> 01:52:40,232 Well, somebody had to be. 1869 01:52:40,399 --> 01:52:42,357 We had some strange readings from this location. 1870 01:52:42,524 --> 01:52:45,316 You wouldn't know anything about an unsanctioned Time Ripper, would you? 1871 01:52:46,357 --> 01:52:49,482 No. No. I wouldn't know anything about an unsanctioned Time Ripper. 1872 01:52:49,649 --> 01:52:51,149 Maybe you should ask Cassandra Nova. 1873 01:52:51,316 --> 01:52:52,232 Because I was assured... 1874 01:52:52,399 --> 01:52:54,899 that she was safely held in The Void. But no... 1875 01:52:55,066 --> 01:52:57,107 she was here. And she fondled my brain. 1876 01:52:57,274 --> 01:52:58,191 How did you let this happen? 1877 01:52:58,357 --> 01:52:59,232 You weren't involved at all? 1878 01:52:59,399 --> 01:53:01,899 In stopping her, yes! Yes. I was. 1879 01:53:02,066 --> 01:53:03,607 But, not nearly enough. 1880 01:53:03,774 --> 01:53:05,982 Not as much as the men who went down there after her. 1881 01:53:06,649 --> 01:53:07,732 My men. 1882 01:53:08,482 --> 01:53:09,482 My friends. 1883 01:53:10,899 --> 01:53:11,857 I warned them. 1884 01:53:12,024 --> 01:53:15,191 That they would be completely obliterated if they went. But they went anyway. Like... 1885 01:53:16,982 --> 01:53:18,066 Like heroes. 1886 01:53:20,191 --> 01:53:21,857 Because that's who they were. 1887 01:53:24,732 --> 01:53:26,149 They just did what they had to do. 1888 01:53:27,566 --> 01:53:29,149 With no concern for their own safety. 1889 01:53:32,399 --> 01:53:38,982 The fact that we are all still standing here is a testament to their heroism. 1890 01:53:42,691 --> 01:53:45,066 Anyway, there's nothing you or I can do to bring them back now. 1891 01:53:46,899 --> 01:53:48,899 He has risen, baby girl. 1892 01:53:49,066 --> 01:53:49,857 Fuck! 1893 01:54:09,357 --> 01:54:10,566 Found your new Anchor Being. 1894 01:54:11,066 --> 01:54:13,024 And we're doing just fine, you piece of shit. 1895 01:54:13,441 --> 01:54:14,524 Mm. Mm-hmm. 1896 01:54:14,899 --> 01:54:16,357 Fine indeed. 1897 01:54:16,524 --> 01:54:20,524 All right. Put your greasy tits away, you preening slut. 1898 01:54:21,399 --> 01:54:22,774 I don't understand. 1899 01:54:22,941 --> 01:54:24,107 How are you two still alive? 1900 01:54:24,274 --> 01:54:26,357 You were right. One of us would have been killed. 1901 01:54:26,524 --> 01:54:29,482 But you put a Deadpool and a Wolverine together... 1902 01:54:29,649 --> 01:54:31,732 make 'em hold hands while listening to Madonna... 1903 01:54:31,899 --> 01:54:33,982 indestructible, motherfucker. 1904 01:54:34,482 --> 01:54:36,691 Let's get this Deadpool Variant back to The Void. 1905 01:54:36,857 --> 01:54:38,691 - Wait, hold on. What? - Nope. Actually... 1906 01:54:38,857 --> 01:54:40,399 This one's homegrown, like me. 1907 01:54:40,566 --> 01:54:41,649 He belongs here. 1908 01:54:42,107 --> 01:54:43,024 And you are? 1909 01:54:43,191 --> 01:54:45,732 Peterpool. But you can call me Peter. 1910 01:54:47,357 --> 01:54:48,399 And I hope that you do. 1911 01:54:54,899 --> 01:54:56,316 What the fuck is happening here? 1912 01:54:56,482 --> 01:54:58,149 You are under judgment... 1913 01:54:58,316 --> 01:55:00,191 for operating an unsanctioned Time Ripper. 1914 01:55:00,357 --> 01:55:01,441 - Take him. - I was just doing what... 1915 01:55:01,607 --> 01:55:02,982 you don't have the guts to do. 1916 01:55:03,774 --> 01:55:05,982 Get your insolent hands off me! 1917 01:55:06,149 --> 01:55:06,982 Get off! 1918 01:55:08,232 --> 01:55:09,899 I'm grateful, gentlemen. 1919 01:55:10,732 --> 01:55:11,816 Let's hold the bows. 1920 01:55:11,982 --> 01:55:14,399 You led an Omega-level mutant to this timeline. 1921 01:55:14,566 --> 01:55:16,149 - You're welcome. - And you... 1922 01:55:16,316 --> 01:55:18,191 - shouldn't even be near this timeline. - He's welcome. 1923 01:55:18,482 --> 01:55:21,732 And you look damn good in that suit. 1924 01:55:21,899 --> 01:55:22,899 I'm so sorry. 1925 01:55:27,399 --> 01:55:31,024 I wanna show you something. Something huge. 1926 01:55:31,191 --> 01:55:33,107 That's what Scoutmaster Kevin used to say. 1927 01:55:34,732 --> 01:55:35,732 Do you see that? 1928 01:55:36,482 --> 01:55:38,232 Your universe is regenerating. 1929 01:55:39,149 --> 01:55:40,482 Whatever you did here... 1930 01:55:40,899 --> 01:55:42,774 you not only saved your world. 1931 01:55:43,316 --> 01:55:45,691 You spared your timeline from extinction. 1932 01:55:47,524 --> 01:55:48,607 I'd rest up. 1933 01:55:48,982 --> 01:55:51,357 I have a feeling your work is only just getting started. 1934 01:55:51,524 --> 01:55:53,066 Till you're 90. 1935 01:55:53,232 --> 01:55:54,066 Wait! 1936 01:55:55,524 --> 01:55:58,232 We couldn't have made it out of The Void without some help... 1937 01:55:59,066 --> 01:56:02,941 from some people that the world kind of forgot. 1938 01:56:03,441 --> 01:56:06,816 Is there any way that you could maybe find a way to bring them home? 1939 01:56:08,899 --> 01:56:09,982 I'll see what I can do. 1940 01:56:10,732 --> 01:56:12,607 And I promised my friend here... 1941 01:56:13,024 --> 01:56:16,566 that the TVA could undo some pretty awful shit in his timeline. 1942 01:56:16,732 --> 01:56:17,691 What would you say to that? 1943 01:56:18,024 --> 01:56:19,066 Change the past? 1944 01:56:19,691 --> 01:56:21,649 Well, he did help me save the world. 1945 01:56:21,982 --> 01:56:24,316 And his past made him the man who did it. 1946 01:56:25,399 --> 01:56:27,649 There's nothing to fix, Mr. Wilson. 1947 01:56:29,107 --> 01:56:30,149 Logan. 1948 01:56:33,649 --> 01:56:34,441 Shawarma? 1949 01:56:34,607 --> 01:56:35,441 - I could eat. - Yeah. 1950 01:56:45,274 --> 01:56:47,566 You know, the Avengers discovered shawarma. 1951 01:56:48,566 --> 01:56:50,191 They'd be lucky to have you. 1952 01:56:57,566 --> 01:56:59,566 - Oh. - Oh, come on. 1953 01:56:59,732 --> 01:57:00,774 Fuck off! 1954 01:57:01,941 --> 01:57:06,649 Come here, my little cunchkin. Yes, it's you. You're a survivor. 1955 01:57:08,066 --> 01:57:09,857 Oh, all is right in the world. 1956 01:57:11,149 --> 01:57:12,149 Yes, it is. 1957 01:57:13,941 --> 01:57:15,107 So what are you gonna do next? 1958 01:57:16,732 --> 01:57:18,732 I'll figure it out. I always do. 1959 01:57:19,607 --> 01:57:20,441 All right. 1960 01:57:21,774 --> 01:57:23,024 So I'll probably see you around? 1961 01:57:28,066 --> 01:57:28,899 Probably not. 1962 01:57:32,399 --> 01:57:33,232 See you, bub. 1963 01:57:42,982 --> 01:57:43,982 Logan. 1964 01:57:50,566 --> 01:57:52,232 Al. I'm back. 1965 01:57:52,816 --> 01:57:54,066 About damn time. 1966 01:57:54,441 --> 01:57:55,274 You holdin'? 1967 01:57:55,441 --> 01:57:57,191 I'm all outta devil's dandruff... 1968 01:57:57,357 --> 01:58:00,066 - and I'm shaking like an angry vibrator. - Thank you, Al. 1969 01:58:00,232 --> 01:58:01,107 We have company. 1970 01:58:01,982 --> 01:58:03,482 Althea, this is... 1971 01:58:04,232 --> 01:58:05,274 This is Logan. 1972 01:58:05,441 --> 01:58:06,482 Nice to meet you, Logan. 1973 01:58:06,649 --> 01:58:07,482 Nice to meet you, too. 1974 01:58:07,649 --> 01:58:11,191 And this little ancient anal shit-knot is Mary Puppins. 1975 01:58:11,357 --> 01:58:13,649 Or as I like to call her, Dogpool. 1976 01:58:13,816 --> 01:58:15,482 You want to treat yourself to a little stroke? 1977 01:58:17,149 --> 01:58:20,191 - Get the tongue. There it is. - Oh, my God! Motherfucker! 1978 01:58:20,357 --> 01:58:24,066 Right? It's like an armadillo fucked a gremlin, angrily... 1979 01:58:24,232 --> 01:58:25,524 in a bed of gonorrhea... 1980 01:58:25,691 --> 01:58:28,066 - Wow. - ...and didn't stop till the sun came up. 1981 01:58:29,357 --> 01:58:30,941 Everyone wants to matter. 1982 01:58:31,857 --> 01:58:34,482 Turns out that you don't need to be Marvel Jesus to do it. 1983 01:58:35,316 --> 01:58:37,566 You just need to open your eyes and look around. 1984 01:58:38,274 --> 01:58:39,274 And if you're lucky... 1985 01:58:40,274 --> 01:58:41,691 you'll find a few friends. 1986 01:58:42,149 --> 01:58:43,274 Old friends... 1987 01:58:44,274 --> 01:58:45,982 and some new ones too. 1988 01:58:50,691 --> 01:58:52,649 Give me the fucking dog. Talk to the girl. 1989 01:59:03,107 --> 01:59:04,232 Well, hi. 1990 01:59:04,399 --> 01:59:05,232 Hi. 1991 01:59:08,066 --> 01:59:09,066 You've been busy. 1992 01:59:12,149 --> 01:59:13,649 I did it for you. 1993 01:59:15,691 --> 01:59:17,982 And even if you don't want me, I did it for you. 1994 01:59:27,399 --> 01:59:28,399 It turns out... 1995 01:59:29,107 --> 01:59:30,482 I am the world-saving type. 1996 01:59:31,441 --> 01:59:33,441 Just look around this table if you want proof. 1997 01:59:34,441 --> 01:59:35,399 And the best part? 1998 01:59:36,357 --> 01:59:38,107 Sometimes the people we save... 1999 01:59:39,149 --> 01:59:41,316 well, they save us right back. 2000 02:00:20,774 --> 02:00:22,899 You're not the only one with gifts. 2001 02:00:23,066 --> 02:00:24,232 What is this place? 2002 02:00:53,232 --> 02:00:54,066 Nice suit. 2003 02:00:54,232 --> 02:00:55,107 Zip it, Stan Lee. 2004 02:01:04,024 --> 02:01:06,566 {\an8}I really like the, the art in the Deadpool comics. 2005 02:01:06,732 --> 02:01:08,982 You know, I just always felt a kind of a kinship to him. 2006 02:01:09,149 --> 02:01:11,857 And I just thought, I'd like to play that guy someday. 2007 02:01:40,649 --> 02:01:43,149 I was there for three weeks before I shot a single thing. 2008 02:01:43,566 --> 02:01:45,107 {\an8}At our first day of shooting... 2009 02:01:45,649 --> 02:01:47,149 I was so nervous, man. 2010 02:01:47,732 --> 02:01:49,816 Everyone was sort of going, "Who's this guy?" 2011 02:01:49,982 --> 02:01:51,816 You know, there was a lot of that and... 2012 02:01:51,982 --> 02:01:55,441 you know, "Is he gonna deliver or not?" You can feel all that kind of pressure. 2013 02:01:56,774 --> 02:02:00,024 It's always the suit's fault. Never the actor. 2014 02:02:08,816 --> 02:02:10,191 - This is... - The only way. 2015 02:02:19,607 --> 02:02:21,524 So this is what it feels like. 2016 02:02:24,066 --> 02:02:25,691 And there's the lights. 2017 02:02:25,857 --> 02:02:27,107 For medical research. 2018 02:02:27,732 --> 02:02:29,649 - Bye-bye, video. - Bye. 2019 02:06:43,441 --> 02:06:47,316 I'm tired of these absolutely vile rumors that I got Johnny killed. 2020 02:06:48,399 --> 02:06:49,441 Let's look at the tape. 2021 02:06:50,649 --> 02:06:51,857 In The Void... 2022 02:06:52,024 --> 02:06:53,816 you're either food for Alioth... 2023 02:06:53,982 --> 02:06:55,107 or you work for her. 2024 02:06:58,274 --> 02:06:59,191 Go on, Johnny. 2025 02:06:59,732 --> 02:07:00,857 And I'll tell you who "her" is. 2026 02:07:01,357 --> 02:07:02,232 Cassandra Nova. 2027 02:07:02,399 --> 02:07:04,566 A megalomaniacal, psychotic asshole. 2028 02:07:04,732 --> 02:07:08,441 A finger licking dead-inside pixie slab of third rate dime-store nut-milk. 2029 02:07:08,607 --> 02:07:10,149 - And I'll tell you what she can do. - I'm listening. 2030 02:07:10,316 --> 02:07:13,857 She can lick my goddamn cinnamon ring clean and kick rocks all the way to bald hell. 2031 02:07:14,024 --> 02:07:16,232 In fact, I don't give a shit if she removes all my skin and... 2032 02:07:16,399 --> 02:07:18,274 pops me like some nightmarish blood balloon. 2033 02:07:18,441 --> 02:07:21,399 If the last thing I do in this godforsaken cum-gutter existence... 2034 02:07:21,566 --> 02:07:24,316 is light that fuck-box on fire, I still won't die happy. 2035 02:07:24,482 --> 02:07:26,232 Holy shit, girl. You crazy. 2036 02:07:26,399 --> 02:07:28,024 That's right, Wade. I won't be happy until... 2037 02:07:28,191 --> 02:07:31,941 I've urinated on her freshly barbecued corpse and husk-fucked the charred remains... 2038 02:07:32,107 --> 02:07:33,857 while gargling Juggernaut's juggernuts. 2039 02:07:34,024 --> 02:07:35,399 - Wow! - And you can quote me. 2040 02:07:35,566 --> 02:07:36,399 'Kay. 2041 02:07:37,149 --> 02:07:38,441 Got you, fuckface. 149938