Original subtitles

- So, parenthood, you know?

Very important job, from what I've heard.

Not like I ever did it.

If I ever were to do it, I wouldn't started it with that lie.

That's one of the dumbest things ever.

You gotta build trust with your kids and you start it off by telling them

there's a giant bunny that's gonna bring chocolate eggs.

There's some fairy that wants their teeth.

What kind of way is that to start a relationship?

With three, four lies right out the gate?

I remember that when I was a kid,

my parents finally told me there was no Santa Claus,

it's like, I fucking knew it.

I've been asking you since I was six.

There's Santa Claus...

and he's gonna bring you your fucking big wheel, right?

You're doing this great thing for your kid.

While you're lying to them at the same time,

and you know, eventually, those two roads are gonna cross

and then he's gonna become a teenager.

He ain't fucking listening to you.

Don't do meth. It's bad for you.

"Oh, yeah? What else are you going to tell me?

There's some fucking guy coming down the chimney?

There's some giant bunny with chocolate eggs, you asshole?

I'm not listening to you."

I think it's a conspiracy by the government.

It drives a wedge between you and your kids

and next thing you know, they want to join the fucking army.

[synth rock instrumental]

[distant footsteps]

[door creaking]

[ominous music]

♪

[floorboards creaking]

[woman groaning]

- Sh. It's bedtime.

- Please...

Let me go.

[footsteps]

- Sh.

♪

[footsteps]

[whimsical music]

♪

- You know what? Parenting, it's definitely a, you know,

it's not for everybody.

Your dad's just like, "Hey, how was I as a father?"

You gotta be like, "You know, you really weren't there, were you?"

Dad, you fucking sucked.

OK? How many angry lunatic kids do you have to have

before you look at yourself and maybe you think you did something,

"Maybe I should've, you know-- brought so much tension."

I mean, you were good at fucking my mom and making me,

but you know, after that...

you kinda dropped the ball.

It's probably why he drank too much in life.

[crickets chirping]

[car engine stalling]

[car engine stuttering]

[tense music]

♪

- Need any help?

All right. Let's give it another shot.

[car engine rumbling]

[baby crying]

Uh, miss?

Are you sure you really want to do this?

- He deserves to be with his family.

- You're right. You're right.

[car door beeping]

[car whirring]

[babies crying]

[tires screeching]

- Go, go!

[car whirring]