Original subtitles

Woah!

What?

[Laughter]

Oh,

great!

[Laughter]

Great!

That

is

technically

an

automatic

fail.

You're

too

excited?

There

we

go.

[Laughter]

Pretty

sure

I

just

saw

your

penis.

Okay,

so,

standard

practice.

Get

yourself

comfortable

and

when

it's

safe

to

do

so...

[Laughter]

You

can

move

on.

[Laughter]

Are

you

sure

you're

alright?

Yeah,

um,

I'm

just

going

through

all

my

checks.

Just

a

little

bit

nervous.

Okay,

that's

understandable.

Not

a

problem.

How

many

lessons

have

you

had?

Is

this

your

first

test?

Um,

this

is

my

first

test

now.

Yeah,

I've

had

three,

four

lessons.

How

many?

About

four

lessons.

You've

had

four

lessons?

Yeah,

Ryan

said

I'm

ready,

I'm

ready.

I'm

ready.

Can't

wait.

You've

had

four,

as

in

four

lessons

with

Ryan?

Have

you

been

somewhere

else

for

lessons?

Yeah,

he

took

me

for

a

drive,

yeah.

He

took

you

for

a

drive?

No,

babe,

I

mean

have

you

been

anywhere

else

outside

of

fake

driving

school

for

lessons?

Outside

of

driving

school?

Have

you

been

anywhere

else

outside

of

the

driving

school

for

lessons?

No,

I

took

lessons

just

only

with

Ryan.

Ryan

said

I

was

ready,

so...

Okay.

I

think

I've

learnt

a

lot.

Ryan's

a

good

teacher.

Okay,

I

want

you

to

pull

in

up

here,

please,

one

would.

Not

into

your

left,

to

your

left.

Just

behind

this

car,

to

your

left.

Please

check

that

there's

no

one

behind

you.

You

should

have

indicated.

Sorry,

sorry,

that

was

the

curb.

Yeah,

that

was

the

curb,

babe,

that

was

the

curb,

okay?

It's

okay.

Take

your

time,

go

back

to

normal,

go

back

to

neutral.

Calm

down,

go

back

to

neutral.

That's

you,

breathe.

It's

alright,

you're

doing

well.

You

are

doing

well

for

someone

who's

had

four

lessons.

Is

that

good?

It's

good.

Okay,

shall

I

go

backwards,

forward?

I

want

you

to

just

pull

off

the

curb

so

that

we

can

do

a

reverse

out

of

the

corner,

okay?

That's

good.

No,

I

want

you

to

go

forward.

Yeah?

No,

right,

that's

you.

Right,

take

your

time.

Yeah.

No,

no,

right,

now

I

want

you

to

straighten

up.

I

need

you

to

straighten

up.

This

way?

Okay.

Right,

I

need

you

to

straighten

up

into

the

curb.

Like

this?

Yeah,

yeah,

very

good.

Now

I

want

you

to

reverse

round

this

corner

if

it's

safe.

Now

watch

this

big

van

coming

down

here,

please.

So...

I'm

straight.

I

want

you

to

take

your

time.

Reverse.

Okay,

take

your

time.

So

I've

got

the

handbrake.

Yep,

very

good.

Start

again,

relax.

Okay,

you

relax,

yeah?

Alright?

Oh,

this

is

nervous.

Yeah,

yeah,

you're

gonna

be

nervous.

You're

gonna

be

nervous,

okay?

Okay,

so

I

have

to

go

now...

Round

the

corner,

so

you're

going

down

to

your

left,

yeah?

Because

the

corner

goes

like

this,

okay?

So

take

it

steady,

try

not

to

bump

the

curb,

okay?

Because

you're

reversing

around

the

corner.

No,

you're

going

backwards,

babe.

Oh,

um...

Yeah,

backwards,

not

forwards.

Ah,

my

finger

put

it

in

the

wrong

gear,

sorry.

Yeah,

reverse.

Do

you

remember?

Did

Ryan

show

you

where

reverse

was?

Um...

Did

he

actually

show

you

where

the

reverse

is?

There's

R.

Is

this

what

this...

Okay,

is

this

the

R's

of

the

reverse?

Yes,

if

you

can

do

that

for

me,

right?

Reverse

round

the

corner.

Ah,

okay.

I

tell

you

what,

actually,

I

tell

you

what,

let's

not

do

this,

let's

not

do

this.

Let's

just

drive

on

straight.

Okay,

okay.

Okay,

listen,

I'm

gonna

do

something.

I

want

us

to

go

back

to

the

test

center,

babe,

okay?

Okay,

so

does

that

mean

I've

passed?

I'm

doing

good?

Unfortunately,

you

haven't

passed.

However,

this

isn't

your

fault.

I

need

to

have

a

chat...

I've

not

passed!

No,

babe,

I

need

to

have

a

chat

with

Ryan,

okay?

We

need

to

go

and

speak

to

Ryan.

Okay,

listen,

I've

been

ready.

Yeah,

I

beg

to

differ.

It's

not

your

fault,

but

I

beg

to

differ,

okay?

Okay,

I

want

you

to

take

us

back

to

the

test

center.

So

that

means

I

have

to

do

my

test

again?

Oh,

yeah.

That

was

so

nerve-wracking.

But

the

next

time

you're

gonna

be

ready

for

it,

Longwood,

the

next

time

you're

gonna

actually

be

ready

to

take

the

test.

You

weren't

ready

today,

darling.

Okay.

Okay?

Why

do

they

call

you

Longwood,

then?

Um...

Is

it

your

real

name

or

is...

'cause

it's

a

strange

name.

It's

my,

um,

yes,

like,

it's

my

nickname,

kind

of

thing.

It's

a

nickname?

Yeah,

everyone

calls

me

Longwood.

Why

would

that

be?

Um,

well,

um,

well,

um...

Basically,

it's

because

of

my...

I've

got

a

big

penis,

so,

you

know,

they

take

the

mick

out

of

me.

You've

got

a

big...

Yeah.

I'll

have

you.

They

take

the

mick

out

of

me,

they

do.

Never

had,

uh,

sex

in

a

car

before.

Oh.

How

about

you

show

me

it?

Go

on.

I

guess

I'll

go.

You're

gonna

show

me,

aren't

you?

You're

quite

hot.

Oh,

I

see.

Thank

you.

Oh,

you're

light.

Oh,

man.

Oh,

Jesus.

Oh!

Oh,

my

God.

Oh,

Jesus.

Oh,

Jesus.

Oh,

I'm

gonna

come.

Oh,

baby.

Oh,

I'm

gonna

come.

Oh,

my

God.

Oh,

my

God.

Oh,

fuck.

Jesus.

Oh,

shit.

Oh,

shit.

Oh,

shit.

Oh,

shit.

Oh,

shit.

Oh,

shit.

Oh,

shit.

Fucking

hell,

baby.

Oh,

shit.

I

see

it.

Oh,

I'm

gonna

come.

I'm

gonna

come

all

over.

Fuck,

yeah.

I'm

gonna

come.

Oh,

oh,

oh.

Oh.

Oh,

yeah.

Oh.