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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:12,855 # I'm going down to South Park # 2 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,857 # Gonna have myself a time # 3 00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:16,567 All: # Friendly faces everywhere # 4 00:00:16,692 --> 00:00:18,110 # Humble folks without temptation # 5 00:00:18,236 --> 00:00:19,570 # Going down to South Park # 6 00:00:19,695 --> 00:00:21,405 # Gonna leave my woes behind # 7 00:00:21,531 --> 00:00:23,115 # Ample parking day or night # 8 00:00:23,241 --> 00:00:24,617 # People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" # 9 00:00:24,742 --> 00:00:26,118 # Headed on up to South Park # 10 00:00:26,244 --> 00:00:27,870 # Gonna see if I can't unwind # 11 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:31,040 [singing indistinctly] 12 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,542 # So come on down to South Park # 13 00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:34,335 # And meet some friends of mine # 14 00:00:35,461 --> 00:00:37,880 All: # School days school days teachers... # 15 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,841 Ah, damn it, my little brother's trying to follow me 16 00:00:39,966 --> 00:00:42,260 to school again. [babbling] 17 00:00:42,385 --> 00:00:44,595 Ike, you can't come to school with me. 18 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,681 [babbling] Yeah, go home, 19 00:00:46,806 --> 00:00:48,266 you little dildo. 20 00:00:48,391 --> 00:00:49,767 Dude, don't call my brother a dildo. 21 00:00:49,892 --> 00:00:51,978 What's a dildo? I don't know. 22 00:00:52,103 --> 00:00:53,604 And I'll bet Cartman doesn't know either. 23 00:00:53,729 --> 00:00:55,022 I know what it means. 24 00:00:55,147 --> 00:00:56,649 Well, what? 25 00:00:56,774 --> 00:00:58,484 I'm not telling you. 26 00:00:58,609 --> 00:00:59,652 What's a dildo, Kenny? 27 00:00:59,777 --> 00:01:01,988 [mumbling] 28 00:01:02,113 --> 00:01:03,948 [laughter] 29 00:01:04,073 --> 00:01:06,576 Yeah, that's what Kyle's little brother is, all right. 30 00:01:06,701 --> 00:01:08,077 [cries] Ow. 31 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,079 [laughs] Dude, that kicks ass. 32 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:11,497 Yeah, check this one out. 33 00:01:11,622 --> 00:01:13,207 Ready, Ike? Kick the baby. 34 00:01:13,332 --> 00:01:14,625 Don't kick the baby. 35 00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:15,835 Kick the baby. 36 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:16,961 Aah! 37 00:01:18,087 --> 00:01:19,255 [yawns] 38 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:21,048 Whoa, Cartman, 39 00:01:21,173 --> 00:01:22,967 looks like you didn't get much sleep last night. 40 00:01:23,092 --> 00:01:25,011 That's because I was having these bogus nightmares. 41 00:01:25,136 --> 00:01:26,721 Really? What about? 42 00:01:26,846 --> 00:01:28,764 Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed, 43 00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:30,141 in the dark. 44 00:01:30,266 --> 00:01:31,893 When all of a sudden 45 00:01:32,018 --> 00:01:33,811 this bright blue light filled the room. 46 00:01:33,936 --> 00:01:35,646 [ship whirring] 47 00:01:35,771 --> 00:01:37,773 And slowly my bedroom door began to open. 48 00:01:37,899 --> 00:01:39,525 And then the next thing I remember, 49 00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:41,152 I was being drug through a hallway. 50 00:01:41,277 --> 00:01:42,612 [whines] 51 00:01:42,737 --> 00:01:44,447 Then I was lying on a table, 52 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,074 and these scary aliens wanted to operate on me. 53 00:01:47,199 --> 00:01:49,619 And they had big heads and big black eyes. 54 00:01:49,744 --> 00:01:51,537 Dude, visitors. Totally. 55 00:01:51,662 --> 00:01:53,581 What? That wasn't a dream, Cartman. 56 00:01:53,706 --> 00:01:55,249 Those were visitors. 57 00:01:55,374 --> 00:01:56,667 No, it was just a dream. My mom said so. 58 00:01:56,792 --> 00:01:58,336 Visitors are real. Yeah. 59 00:01:58,461 --> 00:01:59,921 They abduct people and they mutilate cows. 60 00:02:00,046 --> 00:02:01,464 Oh, shut up, you guys, 61 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:02,548 you're just trying to make me scared. 62 00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:05,092 And it's not working. 63 00:02:05,217 --> 00:02:06,594 Hello there, children. 64 00:02:06,719 --> 00:02:08,137 All: Hey, Chef. 65 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,639 What's gonna be for lunch today, Chef? 66 00:02:09,764 --> 00:02:11,182 Well, today it's Salisbury steak 67 00:02:11,307 --> 00:02:12,892 with buttered noodles and a choice 68 00:02:13,017 --> 00:02:14,894 of green bean casserole or vegetable medley. 69 00:02:15,019 --> 00:02:16,312 Kick ass. 70 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,855 Say, did any of you children 71 00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:19,273 see the alien spaceship last night? 72 00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:20,816 Huh? Yeah, fat boy saw it. 73 00:02:20,942 --> 00:02:23,402 No, that... That was just a dream. 74 00:02:23,527 --> 00:02:25,404 And I'm not fat. I'm big boned. 75 00:02:25,529 --> 00:02:27,406 Oh, was it the ones with the big long heads 76 00:02:27,531 --> 00:02:28,950 and the black eyes? 77 00:02:29,075 --> 00:02:30,534 Oh! They took him on their ship. 78 00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:33,037 Oh, did they give you an anal probe? 79 00:02:33,162 --> 00:02:34,914 Oh! What's an anal probe? 80 00:02:35,039 --> 00:02:36,666 That's when they put this big metal hoop-a-joop 81 00:02:36,791 --> 00:02:38,417 up your butt. 82 00:02:38,542 --> 00:02:40,169 Whoa, they gave you an anal probe, Cartman? 83 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:43,255 No, I mean... why would they do that? 84 00:02:43,381 --> 00:02:44,715 Dude, they did, huh? 85 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,008 Aliens stuck stuff up your ass. 86 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:47,885 No. An probe. 87 00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:49,387 Shut up, dildo. 88 00:02:49,512 --> 00:02:50,930 Well, I got to get to the cafeteria. 89 00:02:51,055 --> 00:02:52,515 You children watch that fat boy, now. 90 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,517 He could be under alien control. 91 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,894 [eerie music] 92 00:02:57,019 --> 00:02:58,646 [hip-hop playing] 93 00:02:58,771 --> 00:03:00,106 We told you they were real, Cartman. 94 00:03:00,231 --> 00:03:01,899 Sorry to hear about your ass. 95 00:03:02,024 --> 00:03:03,943 God damn it, they didn't do anything to my ass. 96 00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,820 It was just a dream. 97 00:03:08,781 --> 00:03:10,199 Why you walking so funny, Cartman? 98 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,701 Shut up. [babbles] 99 00:03:11,826 --> 00:03:13,202 No, Ike, go home. [squeals] 100 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,538 This is it, this one's for the game. 101 00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,540 [babbles] Kick the baby. 102 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:21,043 [laughs] 103 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,586 Good morning, Miss Crabtree. 104 00:03:22,712 --> 00:03:24,839 Sit down, we're running late! 105 00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:30,344 Damn it, he's still there. 106 00:03:30,469 --> 00:03:31,971 Oh, don't worry about him. 107 00:03:32,096 --> 00:03:33,597 No, dude, if something happens to him, 108 00:03:33,723 --> 00:03:35,057 my parents are gonna blame me. 109 00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,351 Sit down back there! Aah! 110 00:03:37,476 --> 00:03:39,478 Yeah, whatever, you fat bitch. 111 00:03:39,603 --> 00:03:40,771 What did you say? 112 00:03:40,896 --> 00:03:42,314 I said I have a bad itch. 113 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:43,482 Oh. 114 00:03:43,607 --> 00:03:46,402 [gasps] Oh, my God! 115 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,403 Visitors. 116 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,863 [mumbling] 117 00:03:48,988 --> 00:03:52,116 Ike! Stop the bus! 118 00:03:52,241 --> 00:03:54,493 Miss Crabtree, you have to stop this bus. 119 00:03:54,618 --> 00:03:56,954 Do you want an office referral? 120 00:03:57,079 --> 00:03:58,622 No. Then sit down! 121 00:03:58,748 --> 00:03:59,623 But I... 122 00:03:59,749 --> 00:04:02,835 [both screaming] 123 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,129 Aah! 124 00:04:06,922 --> 00:04:09,300 Cartman, are those the same visitors you saw? 125 00:04:09,425 --> 00:04:11,177 Shut up, you guys, it's not working. 126 00:04:11,302 --> 00:04:12,636 We have to do something. 127 00:04:12,762 --> 00:04:13,929 Well, we can't do anything for now. 128 00:04:14,055 --> 00:04:15,264 That fat bitch won't let us. 129 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,099 What did you say? 130 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,226 I said that rabbits eat lettuce. 131 00:04:19,351 --> 00:04:22,313 Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do. 132 00:04:22,438 --> 00:04:24,065 [children groan] 133 00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:25,691 What am I gonna do? 134 00:04:25,816 --> 00:04:27,610 My little brother's been abducted by aliens. 135 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,028 [farts] You farted. 136 00:04:29,153 --> 00:04:30,738 [laughter] 137 00:04:30,863 --> 00:04:32,990 Somebody's baking brownies. 138 00:04:33,115 --> 00:04:35,993 [twangy music] 139 00:04:36,118 --> 00:04:37,745 ## 140 00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,831 That's the third cow this month. 141 00:04:40,956 --> 00:04:43,375 At this rate, all my cattle are gonna die 142 00:04:43,501 --> 00:04:44,919 before the winter's through. 143 00:04:45,044 --> 00:04:46,420 [cows moo curiously] 144 00:04:46,545 --> 00:04:48,047 This is nothing out of the unusual. 145 00:04:48,172 --> 00:04:51,759 Cows turn themselves inside out all the time. 146 00:04:51,884 --> 00:04:55,137 People been saying they've been seeing UFOs around. 147 00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,972 UFOs? [laughs] 148 00:04:57,098 --> 00:05:00,351 Yeah, and black army CIA helicopters and trucks. 149 00:05:00,476 --> 00:05:03,687 That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. 150 00:05:06,065 --> 00:05:07,358 What was that? 151 00:05:07,483 --> 00:05:09,235 That... that was a pigeon. 152 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,237 What am I supposed to do, Barbrady? 153 00:05:11,362 --> 00:05:13,697 Just stand here and watch my cattle 154 00:05:13,823 --> 00:05:15,533 get mutilated one by one? 155 00:05:15,658 --> 00:05:18,786 [whistling] 156 00:05:18,911 --> 00:05:19,954 [cows mooing excitedly] 157 00:05:20,079 --> 00:05:22,123 Hey, my cattle! 158 00:05:22,248 --> 00:05:25,543 [mooing continues] 159 00:05:25,668 --> 00:05:27,044 You see? 160 00:05:27,169 --> 00:05:28,796 There is something funny going on. 161 00:05:28,921 --> 00:05:30,631 There's nothing funny going on. 162 00:05:30,756 --> 00:05:32,675 I'll get those cows back. 163 00:05:35,136 --> 00:05:36,637 And now, children, 164 00:05:36,762 --> 00:05:38,681 our friend Mr. Hat is going to tell us 165 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,474 about Christopher Columbus. 166 00:05:40,599 --> 00:05:42,393 That's right, Mr. Garrison, 167 00:05:42,518 --> 00:05:45,271 Christopher Columbus discovered America, 168 00:05:45,396 --> 00:05:47,606 and was the Indians' best friend. 169 00:05:47,731 --> 00:05:50,109 He helped the Indians win their war against 170 00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,652 Frederick Douglas, 171 00:05:51,777 --> 00:05:54,530 and freed the Hebrews from Napoleon. 172 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:55,990 And discovered France. 173 00:05:56,115 --> 00:05:57,658 Oh, man. I can't just sit here. 174 00:05:57,783 --> 00:05:59,201 I have to help my stupid brother. 175 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,619 I'll come home without him 176 00:06:00,744 --> 00:06:01,996 and my dad will start yelling, 177 00:06:02,121 --> 00:06:03,956 "Where's your brother, Kyle? 178 00:06:04,081 --> 00:06:05,791 You weren't looking out for your little brother, Kyle." 179 00:06:05,916 --> 00:06:07,501 Okay, okay, let's ditch school and go find him. 180 00:06:07,626 --> 00:06:08,669 "You know he can't think on his own, Kyle. 181 00:06:08,794 --> 00:06:10,171 "Brush and floss, Kyle. 182 00:06:10,296 --> 00:06:11,589 Where has that finger been, Kyle?" 183 00:06:11,714 --> 00:06:12,798 Dude. 184 00:06:12,923 --> 00:06:14,300 Is there a problem, boys? 185 00:06:14,425 --> 00:06:15,801 Yes, Mr. Garrison, I have to go now. 186 00:06:15,926 --> 00:06:17,553 Oh really, Kyle? 187 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,221 What is it this time, another prostate tumor? 188 00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,432 No, my little brother's been abducted by aliens. 189 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,476 It's true. Ask Cartman. 190 00:06:24,602 --> 00:06:26,395 They gave him an anal probe. 191 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,772 [laughs sheepishly, stammers] That's a little joke. 192 00:06:28,898 --> 00:06:31,358 Mr. Garrison, seriously, I have to go. 193 00:06:31,483 --> 00:06:33,360 Can I please be excused from class? 194 00:06:33,485 --> 00:06:35,112 I don't know, Kyle. Did you ask Mr. Hat? 195 00:06:35,237 --> 00:06:37,740 I don't want to ask Mr. Hat! 196 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,325 I'm asking you! 197 00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:41,076 Oh, I think you should ask Mr. Hat. 198 00:06:41,202 --> 00:06:43,829 Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class? 199 00:06:43,954 --> 00:06:45,789 Well, Kyle, no. 200 00:06:45,915 --> 00:06:47,833 You hear me? You go to hell. 201 00:06:47,958 --> 00:06:49,627 You go to hell and you die. 202 00:06:49,752 --> 00:06:51,795 Hm, I guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle. 203 00:06:51,921 --> 00:06:53,130 Damn it. 204 00:06:53,255 --> 00:06:54,924 Ha-ha, Mr. Hat yelled at you. 205 00:06:55,049 --> 00:06:57,259 [farts violently] Ow, my ass! 206 00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,594 Damn, Cartman. 207 00:06:58,719 --> 00:06:59,887 [farting violently] 208 00:07:00,012 --> 00:07:01,722 Ow, my ass! 209 00:07:01,847 --> 00:07:03,390 Dude, he's farting fire. 210 00:07:03,515 --> 00:07:05,017 It's the alien anal probe. 211 00:07:05,142 --> 00:07:07,019 It's shooting fire from Cartman's rectum. 212 00:07:07,144 --> 00:07:09,021 No, that was just a dream. 213 00:07:09,146 --> 00:07:10,606 Eric, do you need to sit in the corner 214 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,650 until your flaming gas is under control? 215 00:07:12,775 --> 00:07:15,319 No, Mr. Garrison, I'm fine. 216 00:07:15,444 --> 00:07:16,862 [farts violently] 217 00:07:16,987 --> 00:07:18,405 [screaming] 218 00:07:22,201 --> 00:07:25,079 [twangy music] 219 00:07:25,204 --> 00:07:28,624 ## 220 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:31,043 Hey, you cows can't get on this train. 221 00:07:31,168 --> 00:07:32,920 This is a people train. 222 00:07:33,045 --> 00:07:35,172 You cows have no business on a people train, all right? 223 00:07:35,297 --> 00:07:37,216 'Cause you're cows. 224 00:07:37,341 --> 00:07:39,009 No, no, no. 225 00:07:39,134 --> 00:07:42,263 Don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right? 226 00:07:42,388 --> 00:07:43,889 'Cause it's not gonna work. 227 00:07:44,014 --> 00:07:45,724 Hold it right there, cows. 228 00:07:45,849 --> 00:07:47,059 [cows mooing] 229 00:07:47,184 --> 00:07:49,061 Come back here. [exclaims] 230 00:07:50,562 --> 00:07:54,149 [indistinct chatter] 231 00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:56,485 [farts violently] Aah! 232 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,570 Ooh. I sure am hungry. 233 00:07:58,696 --> 00:08:00,572 How can you eat when you're farting fire? 234 00:08:00,698 --> 00:08:03,284 Shut up, dude, you're being totally immature. 235 00:08:03,409 --> 00:08:05,119 Hey, look, there's Wendy Testaburger. 236 00:08:05,244 --> 00:08:07,204 [gasps] Where? 237 00:08:07,329 --> 00:08:10,207 [romantic music] 238 00:08:10,332 --> 00:08:17,214 ## 239 00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:27,224 # Stan wants to kiss Wendy Testaburger # 240 00:08:27,349 --> 00:08:29,226 Shut up, fat ass. I don't even like her. 241 00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:31,770 I'm not fat and you obviously like her 242 00:08:31,895 --> 00:08:33,731 because you throw up every time she talks to you. 243 00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:35,107 I do not. 244 00:08:35,232 --> 00:08:37,151 Hi, guys. All: Hi, Wendy. 245 00:08:37,276 --> 00:08:39,194 Here, Stan, this is for you. 246 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,571 [vomits] Eww. 247 00:08:40,696 --> 00:08:42,031 All: Bye, Wendy. 248 00:08:42,156 --> 00:08:44,450 Dude, what does the note say? 249 00:08:44,575 --> 00:08:46,160 Holy crap, 250 00:08:46,285 --> 00:08:48,120 it says she wants to meet me at Stark's Pond 251 00:08:48,245 --> 00:08:49,580 after school. 252 00:08:49,705 --> 00:08:50,831 Whoa, maybe you can kiss her. 253 00:08:50,956 --> 00:08:52,082 Or slip her the tongue. 254 00:08:52,207 --> 00:08:54,126 [mumbling] 255 00:08:54,251 --> 00:08:57,087 What, how do you know she has a cat? 256 00:08:58,130 --> 00:09:01,258 [laughter] 257 00:09:01,383 --> 00:09:02,926 Come on, you guys, 258 00:09:03,052 --> 00:09:04,511 we need to figure out how to get out of school 259 00:09:04,636 --> 00:09:06,013 so we can get my little brother back. 260 00:09:06,138 --> 00:09:07,639 Hello there, children. All: Hey Chef. 261 00:09:07,765 --> 00:09:09,016 How are you doing? Bad. 262 00:09:09,141 --> 00:09:10,601 Why bad? Chef, 263 00:09:10,726 --> 00:09:11,852 have you ever had something happen to you 264 00:09:11,977 --> 00:09:13,228 but nobody believed you? 265 00:09:13,354 --> 00:09:15,356 Oh, children, children. 266 00:09:15,481 --> 00:09:17,399 That's a problem we've all had to face 267 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,942 at some time or another. 268 00:09:19,068 --> 00:09:21,278 Here, let me sing you a little song. 269 00:09:21,403 --> 00:09:23,238 It might clear things up. 270 00:09:23,364 --> 00:09:27,076 # I'm gonna make love to you woman # 271 00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:30,621 # Gonna lay you down by the fire # 272 00:09:30,746 --> 00:09:33,540 # And caress your womanly body # 273 00:09:33,665 --> 00:09:37,002 # Make you moan and perspire # 274 00:09:37,127 --> 00:09:38,629 # Gonna get # Uh, Chef? 275 00:09:38,754 --> 00:09:40,297 # Those juices flowing # Chef. 276 00:09:40,422 --> 00:09:42,216 # We're making love baby # Chef! 277 00:09:42,341 --> 00:09:44,468 # Love baby love love love love baby # 278 00:09:44,593 --> 00:09:45,469 Chef! 279 00:09:45,594 --> 00:09:48,263 Huh? 280 00:09:48,389 --> 00:09:50,432 Do you feel better? No. 281 00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,601 Oh, come on, children, what can be so bad? 282 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,646 It's Salisbury steak day. 283 00:09:55,771 --> 00:09:57,272 Visitors took Kyle's baby brother. 284 00:09:57,398 --> 00:09:58,857 What? [items clattering] 285 00:09:58,982 --> 00:10:00,692 What the hell do you think you're doing 286 00:10:00,818 --> 00:10:02,236 in school eating Salisbury steak? 287 00:10:02,361 --> 00:10:03,904 Go find him, damn it. 288 00:10:04,029 --> 00:10:05,280 Mr. Garrison won't let us out of school. 289 00:10:05,406 --> 00:10:06,407 He thinks we're making it up. 290 00:10:06,532 --> 00:10:07,825 You are making it up. 291 00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:08,909 [farts violently] 292 00:10:09,034 --> 00:10:12,788 [mechanical whirring] 293 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,206 Whoa. 294 00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:17,543 What? That was cool. 295 00:10:17,668 --> 00:10:20,712 It's some kind of symbionic metamorphosis device. 296 00:10:20,838 --> 00:10:23,382 This can mean the visitors want to communicate with us. 297 00:10:23,507 --> 00:10:25,134 Oh, I see. 298 00:10:25,259 --> 00:10:27,386 Now you're gonna join in on the little joke, huh? 299 00:10:27,511 --> 00:10:30,389 It's no joke, children. This is big. 300 00:10:30,514 --> 00:10:32,266 Please, Chef, if I don't get out of school 301 00:10:32,391 --> 00:10:33,851 and get my brother back from the aliens, 302 00:10:33,976 --> 00:10:35,436 my parents are gonna disown me. 303 00:10:35,561 --> 00:10:37,438 Uh, hold on, now. Hold on, now. 304 00:10:37,563 --> 00:10:39,314 You got to help the children. 305 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,650 Hey, you guys sure are going a long way 306 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,444 to try and scare me. 307 00:10:43,569 --> 00:10:45,028 I want my Salisbury steak! 308 00:10:45,154 --> 00:10:47,114 Fire drill, fire drill. 309 00:10:47,239 --> 00:10:48,657 Everybody out. 310 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,534 Okay, children, this is your chance. 311 00:10:50,659 --> 00:10:52,369 Killer. Thanks, Chef. 312 00:10:52,494 --> 00:10:53,579 [alarm blaring] 313 00:10:53,704 --> 00:10:55,247 Man, oh, man. 314 00:10:55,372 --> 00:10:57,541 First contact with the alien visitors. 315 00:10:57,666 --> 00:10:59,168 I've got to get myself ready. 316 00:10:59,293 --> 00:11:01,003 All: # We got out of school # 317 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,796 # No more school today # 318 00:11:02,921 --> 00:11:04,298 # We got out of school # 319 00:11:04,423 --> 00:11:05,799 [farts violently] Oh, you guys! 320 00:11:05,924 --> 00:11:07,509 My ass, seriously! 321 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,511 Okay, Cartman, you can stop farting fire now. 322 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,805 I would if I could, you son of a bitch. 323 00:11:11,930 --> 00:11:13,974 Okay, so how do we get my little brother back? 324 00:11:14,099 --> 00:11:16,977 Hey, would you stop going on about your little brother? 325 00:11:17,102 --> 00:11:18,729 I know it was just a dream. 326 00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:20,439 I know I didn't have an anal probe. 327 00:11:20,564 --> 00:11:22,983 And I know that I'm not under alien control. 328 00:11:23,108 --> 00:11:24,151 [radio static] 329 00:11:24,276 --> 00:11:25,986 # I love to singa # 330 00:11:26,111 --> 00:11:27,404 # About the moona and the juna and the springa # 331 00:11:27,529 --> 00:11:29,031 # I love to singa # 332 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,867 # About a sky of blue or tea for two # 333 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:32,993 [radio static] 334 00:11:35,037 --> 00:11:36,371 What the hell was that? 335 00:11:36,497 --> 00:11:37,623 He is under alien control. 336 00:11:37,748 --> 00:11:38,916 That thing in his butt 337 00:11:39,041 --> 00:11:40,125 is linked up to the visitors. 338 00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:41,668 Oh, son of a bitch. 339 00:11:46,632 --> 00:11:47,883 You guys shut up. 340 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,843 I'm not under alien control. 341 00:11:49,968 --> 00:11:51,762 Hey, if you visitors can hear me... 342 00:11:51,887 --> 00:11:53,180 Hey. Bring me back 343 00:11:53,305 --> 00:11:54,556 my little brother, God damn it! 344 00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:57,184 Ow, that hurts, you butt licker! 345 00:11:57,309 --> 00:11:58,560 Kyle, look, it's them. 346 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,896 Give me back my brother! 347 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,940 [dramatic music] 348 00:12:03,065 --> 00:12:05,150 [muffled groan] 349 00:12:05,275 --> 00:12:07,736 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! 350 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,196 You bastards! 351 00:12:09,321 --> 00:12:10,781 Come back here! 352 00:12:10,906 --> 00:12:12,366 Come back! 353 00:12:12,491 --> 00:12:14,618 Damn it! We were so close. 354 00:12:14,743 --> 00:12:16,745 Hey, look, I think Kenny's okay. 355 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,038 [mumbling] 356 00:12:18,163 --> 00:12:19,122 [cows mooing] 357 00:12:19,248 --> 00:12:20,541 Oh. 358 00:12:22,292 --> 00:12:23,460 [mumbling] 359 00:12:23,585 --> 00:12:24,836 [siren wailing] 360 00:12:24,962 --> 00:12:28,173 [solemn music] 361 00:12:28,298 --> 00:12:29,925 Wow, poor Kenny. 362 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:30,968 Now do you believe us, Cartman? 363 00:12:31,093 --> 00:12:32,344 No. 364 00:12:32,469 --> 00:12:33,470 Cartman, they killed Kenny. 365 00:12:33,595 --> 00:12:34,763 He's not dead. 366 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,848 Dude, Kenny is dead. 367 00:12:36,974 --> 00:12:38,475 See? 368 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,685 Shut up, you guys. 369 00:12:39,810 --> 00:12:41,520 He's dead, Cartman. 370 00:12:41,645 --> 00:12:44,481 God damn it, I didn't have an anal probe! 371 00:12:44,606 --> 00:12:46,483 Screw you guys. I'm going home. 372 00:12:46,608 --> 00:12:48,777 Go on and go home, you fat chicken. 373 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:49,903 Dildo! 374 00:12:51,154 --> 00:12:52,823 You're all I have left, Stan. 375 00:12:52,948 --> 00:12:54,533 Sorry, dude, I gotta go meet Wendy Testaburger. 376 00:12:54,658 --> 00:12:57,035 You can't. Poor Ike must be so scared. 377 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,245 Up there all alone. 378 00:12:58,370 --> 00:12:59,454 You gotta help me dude. 379 00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:00,872 Dude, like Chef says, 380 00:13:00,998 --> 00:13:01,999 I gotta get a piece of loving 381 00:13:02,124 --> 00:13:03,625 while the getting's hot. 382 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,460 Rats. 383 00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:07,337 [bright music] 384 00:13:07,462 --> 00:13:08,630 Hello, Eric. 385 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:09,840 Hi, Mom. 386 00:13:09,965 --> 00:13:11,091 How are you doing? 387 00:13:11,216 --> 00:13:13,051 Well, I'm pissed off. 388 00:13:13,176 --> 00:13:16,930 Here, I made you powdered donut pancake surprise. 389 00:13:17,055 --> 00:13:18,724 I don't want powdered donut pancake surprise. 390 00:13:18,849 --> 00:13:20,601 All the kids in school call me fat. 391 00:13:20,726 --> 00:13:22,811 You're not fat, you're big boned. 392 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,479 That's what I said. 393 00:13:24,605 --> 00:13:26,773 You can have an eensy-weensy bit, can't you? 394 00:13:26,898 --> 00:13:28,108 No. 395 00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:29,860 Just a weensy-eensy woo-woo? 396 00:13:29,985 --> 00:13:31,737 No, leave me alone, Mom. 397 00:13:31,862 --> 00:13:34,364 How about a nice chocolate chicken pot pie then? 398 00:13:34,489 --> 00:13:37,659 But... well, that sounds pretty good. 399 00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,036 Uh, Mom? 400 00:13:39,161 --> 00:13:40,495 Yes, hon? 401 00:13:40,621 --> 00:13:41,997 If anybody calls or comes over, 402 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,915 I'm not here, okay? 403 00:13:44,041 --> 00:13:45,334 Sure, hon. 404 00:13:45,459 --> 00:13:47,085 You want some Cheesy Poofs too? 405 00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:48,670 Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs. 406 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,800 Well, looks like she's not gonna show up, Stan. 407 00:13:53,925 --> 00:13:55,302 Let's go look for the visitors now. 408 00:13:55,427 --> 00:13:56,637 But her note said she'd be here. 409 00:13:56,762 --> 00:13:58,263 Hi, Stan. 410 00:13:58,388 --> 00:13:59,681 [vomits] Ew. 411 00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:00,766 You can't talk to Stan, Wendy. 412 00:14:00,891 --> 00:14:01,767 He throws up when you do. 413 00:14:01,892 --> 00:14:03,268 But why, Stan? 414 00:14:03,393 --> 00:14:05,062 [vomits] Ew. 415 00:14:05,187 --> 00:14:06,563 Look, could you guys just get down to business 416 00:14:06,688 --> 00:14:07,564 so we can find my little brother? 417 00:14:07,689 --> 00:14:09,107 Huh? 418 00:14:09,232 --> 00:14:10,692 Just make sweet love down by the fire. 419 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,486 What happened to your little brother? 420 00:14:12,611 --> 00:14:14,488 As the reports of UFO sightings increase, 421 00:14:14,613 --> 00:14:16,740 more mysterious crop circle patterns are appearing 422 00:14:16,865 --> 00:14:18,700 in fields all around South Park. 423 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,702 These crop circles, when viewed from above, 424 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,246 form strange patterns. 425 00:14:23,372 --> 00:14:26,625 Hey, that kind of looks like... Tom Selleck. 426 00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,335 Could it be that aliens are trying to 427 00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:30,462 make contact with us, here on Earth? 428 00:14:31,922 --> 00:14:33,382 [meows] 429 00:14:34,758 --> 00:14:37,135 No, kitty, this is my pot pie. 430 00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:39,388 [meows] No, kitty, that's a bad kitty! 431 00:14:39,513 --> 00:14:41,890 [meows] No, kitty, this is my pot pie! 432 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:45,560 [hisses] Mom, kitty's being a dildo. 433 00:14:45,686 --> 00:14:48,647 Well, then I know a certain kitty kitty 434 00:14:48,772 --> 00:14:51,233 who's sleeping with Mommy tonight. 435 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,443 What? 436 00:14:53,568 --> 00:14:55,070 And now I have to go home without him, 437 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,030 and my parents are gonna have me killed. 438 00:14:57,155 --> 00:14:59,157 Well, why didn't you go get the fat kid? 439 00:14:59,282 --> 00:15:01,201 Why? Well... 440 00:15:01,326 --> 00:15:04,121 if the fat kid has something implanted in his ass, 441 00:15:04,246 --> 00:15:05,622 maybe the visitors are using him 442 00:15:05,747 --> 00:15:07,124 as part of their plan. 443 00:15:07,249 --> 00:15:08,959 You should use the fat kid as bait 444 00:15:09,084 --> 00:15:10,293 to bring them back. 445 00:15:10,419 --> 00:15:11,962 Hey, you're right, Wendy. 446 00:15:12,087 --> 00:15:14,381 Come on, Stan, we have to go get Cartman. 447 00:15:14,506 --> 00:15:15,382 Come on, Stan. [vomits] 448 00:15:15,507 --> 00:15:16,967 Ew. 449 00:15:17,092 --> 00:15:18,260 Hey, wait. 450 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,387 When do I get to make sweet love? 451 00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:25,058 [meows] 452 00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:27,644 No, kitty, you can't have any. 453 00:15:27,769 --> 00:15:29,062 [meows] 454 00:15:29,187 --> 00:15:31,022 No, kitty, this is my pot pie! 455 00:15:31,148 --> 00:15:32,482 [farts violently] Bad kitty! 456 00:15:32,607 --> 00:15:34,109 Oh. Excuse me, kitty. 457 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,861 [glass shatters] 458 00:15:35,986 --> 00:15:37,446 Eric, look who's here. 459 00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:39,239 Dude, weak, Mom. 460 00:15:39,364 --> 00:15:40,574 Come on, Eric, we're gonna go play at the bus stop. 461 00:15:40,699 --> 00:15:42,159 I can't. My mom says... 462 00:15:42,284 --> 00:15:43,577 That's okay, Eric. 463 00:15:43,702 --> 00:15:44,953 I think you need to spend time 464 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,663 with your little friends. 465 00:15:46,788 --> 00:15:48,290 But Mom, I don't want to spend time with my... 466 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:49,958 Don't be difficult, Eric. 467 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,878 Now, you go out and play in the fun snow. 468 00:15:53,003 --> 00:15:54,087 God damn it. 469 00:15:54,212 --> 00:15:55,213 [meows] 470 00:15:56,757 --> 00:15:58,800 You guys, I have to get home. 471 00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,510 Don't be such a fraidy cat, Cartman. 472 00:16:00,635 --> 00:16:02,053 This rope will make sure 473 00:16:02,179 --> 00:16:04,473 they can't take you on board again. 474 00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:06,224 Oh, man, this sucks. 475 00:16:06,349 --> 00:16:07,893 How come the visitors aren't coming for him? 476 00:16:08,018 --> 00:16:09,311 I think we have to signal them somehow. 477 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,438 [farts violently] Ow! 478 00:16:11,563 --> 00:16:13,732 Hey, he's like Rudolph. 479 00:16:13,857 --> 00:16:16,067 Yeah, all you have to do is fart some more, Cartman, 480 00:16:16,193 --> 00:16:18,028 and the visitors are sure to come. 481 00:16:18,153 --> 00:16:19,696 Really? 482 00:16:19,821 --> 00:16:22,199 Uh, I don't think I have to fart anymore tonight. 483 00:16:22,324 --> 00:16:23,366 Sure you do. 484 00:16:23,492 --> 00:16:24,576 Come on, Cartman, fart. 485 00:16:24,701 --> 00:16:26,119 I don't wanna. 486 00:16:26,244 --> 00:16:27,537 He can't hold it in forever. 487 00:16:27,662 --> 00:16:28,997 Fart, damn you! 488 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,957 Okay, that does it. 489 00:16:31,082 --> 00:16:32,292 Now, listen, 490 00:16:32,417 --> 00:16:33,877 why is it that everything today 491 00:16:34,002 --> 00:16:35,712 has involved things either going in 492 00:16:35,837 --> 00:16:38,173 or coming out of my ass? 493 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,508 [farts violently] I'm sick of it. 494 00:16:39,633 --> 00:16:41,092 It's completely immature. 495 00:16:41,218 --> 00:16:43,136 Hey, it's happening again. 496 00:16:43,261 --> 00:16:45,472 [mechanical whirring] 497 00:16:45,597 --> 00:16:47,432 Whoa, look at that. 498 00:16:47,557 --> 00:16:48,767 Now do you believe us, Cartman? 499 00:16:48,892 --> 00:16:50,435 You guys can't scare me. 500 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,103 I know you're making it all up. 501 00:16:52,229 --> 00:16:54,648 Cartman, there's an 80-foot satellite dish 502 00:16:54,773 --> 00:16:56,399 sticking out of your ass. 503 00:16:56,525 --> 00:16:58,777 Sure, you guys. Whatever. 504 00:16:58,902 --> 00:17:00,487 [satellite pinging] 505 00:17:00,612 --> 00:17:02,155 Oh, boy, 506 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,533 the aliens are going to make first contact. 507 00:17:04,658 --> 00:17:06,660 Hey, down here! 508 00:17:06,785 --> 00:17:09,830 We are ready for your wisdom! 509 00:17:09,955 --> 00:17:11,790 And you only got 20 minutes 510 00:17:11,915 --> 00:17:14,584 before "Sanford and Son" is on. 511 00:17:14,709 --> 00:17:17,087 You guys, I am seriously 512 00:17:17,212 --> 00:17:19,339 getting pissed off right now! 513 00:17:19,464 --> 00:17:22,342 I know there's no such thing as aliens! 514 00:17:24,386 --> 00:17:26,805 Oh, God damn it! 515 00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:28,723 What the...? 516 00:17:28,849 --> 00:17:31,726 I tell you, there's crazy stuff going on in this town. 517 00:17:31,852 --> 00:17:34,771 You can say that again, Mr. Garrison. 518 00:17:34,896 --> 00:17:37,607 Come down here, you stinking aliens. 519 00:17:37,732 --> 00:17:39,234 [eerie music] 520 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,235 Uh, uh... 521 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,736 Go on, Kyle, 522 00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:42,946 ask them for your little brother back. 523 00:17:43,071 --> 00:17:44,489 V-visitors, 524 00:17:44,614 --> 00:17:46,157 this morning you took my brother, Ike. 525 00:17:46,283 --> 00:17:47,659 He's the little freckled kid 526 00:17:47,784 --> 00:17:49,244 that looks like a football. 527 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,037 At first I was happy you took him away. 528 00:17:51,162 --> 00:17:52,455 But I've learned something today. 529 00:17:52,581 --> 00:17:53,999 That having a little brother 530 00:17:54,124 --> 00:17:55,584 is a pretty special thing. 531 00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:57,377 Yeah. Aw, heck, Mr. Visitors, 532 00:17:57,502 --> 00:17:59,337 I'm just a kid all alone in this crazy world. 533 00:17:59,462 --> 00:18:00,797 But if you can find it in your hearts 534 00:18:00,922 --> 00:18:02,215 or whatever you have 535 00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:03,884 to give my brother back to me, 536 00:18:04,009 --> 00:18:06,052 it sure would make my life brighter again. 537 00:18:06,177 --> 00:18:07,762 That was beautiful, dude. 538 00:18:07,888 --> 00:18:08,805 Did it work? 539 00:18:08,930 --> 00:18:10,265 Nope, they're leaving. 540 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,183 Hey, you scrawny assed [bleep]! 541 00:18:12,309 --> 00:18:14,019 What the [bleep] is wrong with you? 542 00:18:14,144 --> 00:18:15,604 You must be some kind of [bleep] 543 00:18:15,729 --> 00:18:17,314 To be able to ignore a crying child! 544 00:18:17,439 --> 00:18:18,732 Whoa, dude. 545 00:18:18,857 --> 00:18:19,816 You know what you [bleep] like? 546 00:18:19,941 --> 00:18:22,068 You like to [bleep]... 547 00:18:22,193 --> 00:18:24,654 [bleeps continue] 548 00:18:24,779 --> 00:18:27,324 Hey, Wendy, what's a [bleep]? 549 00:18:28,783 --> 00:18:30,243 [babbles] 550 00:18:30,368 --> 00:18:32,579 Ike, jump down, now! 551 00:18:32,704 --> 00:18:35,582 For the love of God, Ike, jump! 552 00:18:35,707 --> 00:18:37,167 Don't hurt me. 553 00:18:37,292 --> 00:18:40,295 [cows mooing] 554 00:18:44,966 --> 00:18:46,176 Moo. 555 00:18:53,516 --> 00:18:55,060 Come on, Ike. 556 00:18:55,185 --> 00:18:57,187 I promise I'll be nice to you from now on. 557 00:18:57,312 --> 00:18:58,605 Don't kick the baby. 558 00:19:04,694 --> 00:19:06,404 What the hell are they talking about? 559 00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:15,956 Ike! 560 00:19:21,503 --> 00:19:25,298 Ike, do your impersonation of David Caruso's career! 561 00:19:25,423 --> 00:19:26,800 It's my turn. 562 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,815 You guys, get me down from here! 563 00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:44,401 [farts violently] Help! 564 00:19:44,526 --> 00:19:45,652 Help! 565 00:19:45,777 --> 00:19:47,654 Sons a bitches! 566 00:19:47,779 --> 00:19:50,365 Dildo! 567 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,701 Phew, I'm sure glad that's over with. 568 00:19:52,826 --> 00:19:54,869 Yeah, boy, am I glad to see you, Ike. 569 00:19:54,995 --> 00:19:57,205 [babbles] Fly in the sky. 570 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,748 Wait. 571 00:19:58,873 --> 00:20:00,625 Where are you going, alien visitors? 572 00:20:00,750 --> 00:20:02,252 Come back. 573 00:20:02,377 --> 00:20:03,795 Well, Chef, where's this amazing thing 574 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,338 you were gonna show us? 575 00:20:05,463 --> 00:20:06,965 Well, it's in the bedroom, ladies. 576 00:20:07,090 --> 00:20:07,966 Come on in. 577 00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:09,467 Come on, Ike, 578 00:20:09,592 --> 00:20:10,885 we can make it just in time for dinner. 579 00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:11,886 Thanks for your help, Wendy. 580 00:20:12,012 --> 00:20:13,096 Whatever, dude. 581 00:20:13,221 --> 00:20:14,597 Hey, I didn't throw up. 582 00:20:14,723 --> 00:20:15,598 Cool. 583 00:20:15,724 --> 00:20:18,768 [romantic music] 584 00:20:18,893 --> 00:20:22,689 ## 585 00:20:22,814 --> 00:20:24,691 [vomits] Ew. 586 00:20:24,816 --> 00:20:27,027 Sorry. Hey, look, a French fry. 587 00:20:27,152 --> 00:20:29,112 Cool. And what is that? 588 00:20:29,237 --> 00:20:30,363 I think it's part of a Cheesy Poof. 589 00:20:30,488 --> 00:20:32,198 Hey, what's that? 590 00:20:32,323 --> 00:20:34,242 # I'm gonna make love # That's a hamburger. 591 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,493 That's from like two days ago. # To you woman # 592 00:20:35,618 --> 00:20:36,995 Well, hey, what about that? 593 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:38,121 I don't know what the hell that is. 594 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:43,752 Gee, the bus will be here any minute. 595 00:20:43,877 --> 00:20:45,336 And Cartman still isn't around. 596 00:20:45,462 --> 00:20:47,172 Yeah, we're running out of friends. 597 00:20:47,297 --> 00:20:48,548 I wonder what that thing was 598 00:20:48,673 --> 00:20:50,050 that the visitors gave the cows? 599 00:20:50,175 --> 00:20:53,178 [mooing] 600 00:20:53,303 --> 00:20:55,764 Ha-ha, cows, I got you cornered. 601 00:20:55,889 --> 00:20:58,141 Let's see you get away now. 602 00:20:58,266 --> 00:20:59,559 [radio static] 603 00:20:59,684 --> 00:21:01,394 # I love to singa # 604 00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:03,313 # About the moona and the juna and the springa # 605 00:21:03,438 --> 00:21:05,065 # I love to singa # 606 00:21:05,190 --> 00:21:07,442 # About a sky of blue or tea for two # 607 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:08,693 [spits] 608 00:21:08,818 --> 00:21:09,903 Oh, hey, Cartman. 609 00:21:10,028 --> 00:21:11,279 Wow, Cartman. 610 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:12,572 The visitors dropped you off 611 00:21:12,697 --> 00:21:13,573 just in time to go to school. 612 00:21:13,698 --> 00:21:15,075 Oh, man, 613 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,659 I had this crazy nightmare last night. 614 00:21:16,785 --> 00:21:18,203 Really? What about? 615 00:21:18,328 --> 00:21:20,580 Well, I was standing out in a field 616 00:21:20,705 --> 00:21:23,041 and I had this huge satellite dish 617 00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:24,793 sticking out of my butt. 618 00:21:24,918 --> 00:21:27,128 And then there was hundreds of cows and aliens 619 00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:29,130 and then I went up on the ship 620 00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:31,049 and Scott Baio gave me pink eye. 621 00:21:31,174 --> 00:21:32,133 That wasn't a dream, Cartman. 622 00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:33,259 That really happened. 623 00:21:33,384 --> 00:21:34,594 Oh, right. 624 00:21:34,719 --> 00:21:36,096 Why don't I have pink eye then? 625 00:21:36,221 --> 00:21:37,931 Cartman, you do have pink eye. 626 00:21:38,056 --> 00:21:40,308 Oh, son of a bitch. 42109

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