All language subtitles for Horrible Histories S03E05 Episode 5 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 x264-alfaHD_track4_[eng]

♪ Terrible Tudors,
Gorgeous Georgians

♪ Slimy Stuarts,
Vile Victorians

♪ Woeful wars,
Ferocious fights

♪ Dingy castles,
Daring knights

♪ Horrors that defy description,
Cutthroat Celts, awful Egyptians

♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes,
Punishment from ancient times!

♪ Roman, rotten,
rank and ruthless

♪ Cavemen, savage,
fierce and toothless

♪ Groovy Greeks,
Brainy sages

♪ Mean and measly Middle Ages

♪ Gory stories, we do that

♪ And your host a talking rat

♪ The past is no longer
a mystery

♪ Welcome to
Horrible Histories ♪

[MAN READING]

Being held prisoner in the
Middle Ages could be pretty
nasty.

But that wasn't always the case.

His Majesty John Balliol,
the rightful King of Scotland.

Hey, did you see that grouse?

Here, give those to cook.
Tell her to add them to
tonight's banquet.

You, play me a song.
Something soothing.

It's been a very busy day

and who the devil are you?

-I'm the legal expert you sent
for, Sire.
-Ah, the lawyer.

Excellent.
Come on.

Now, I am hoping that
you can help me

overturn a terrible
miscarriage of justice.

There is a very important man
currently languishing

in the most famous jail
in England and I want
you to get him out.

Of course, your Majesty,
and who is this man?

It's me, you idiot!

You wouldn't keep an animal
like this. It's inhumane.

Fruit, Sire?

I don't like grapes.
You see what I mean?

So this isn't your castle,
then?

This is the Tower of London.

I am the King of Scotland.

Well, I was, until your stupid
King Edward stole my throne

and trapped me in here.

I am a King reduced

to the status of a bum.
[HE SNORTS]

Don't laugh at bum, Terry.

It demeans us both.

Well, Sire,
if I'm completely honest.

I've visited a few
jails in my time

and the conditions here are...

...not the worst I've seen.

And it would seem you've
just been out hunting.

And your point is?

Most prisons, they don't tend
to let you out.

In fact, as far as I can see,

the only real punishment here
is how much you must miss
your family.

Why would I? They're right next
door.

-All right, kids?
-Hello, Daddy!

Well, in that case,
if I may speak frankly,

I've no absolutely idea
what on earth you're
complaining about.

Of course you don't.

Because you're not a Scotsman.

You don't know what
it's like to have your
body here in London,

when your heart and soul
lives only in the Highlands

and until I am returned
to my homeland,

I shall be a prisoner
every day of my life.

I could probably get you
banished to France.

Done! Actually that's better,
cos the weather's nice.

OK, everyone.
We're moving to
France.

ALL: Yeah!

Not you.
Come on, everyone.
Join on.

Vive la France, hey!
Vive la France, hey!
Vive la France...

That's 100% accu-rat.

John Balliol, King of Scotland
was released from
the infamous

Tower of London in 1299
and allowed to go to France.

But not everyone found it
quite so easy to escape
the Tower.

♪ Stupid deaths, stupid deaths

♪ They're funny cos they're true

♪ Stupid deaths, stupid deaths

♪ Hope next time it's not you.

Yes, they've been a
bit boring today.
Haven't they?

You know, sometimes I worry
we'll never find another
really, really stupid death.

Next!

Woah! Hold the phones.
We've found a doozy. Name?

-Griffith Ap Llewelyn.
-Let's hear your story.

I can't wait.
Come on, come on.

So, I was a prisoner locked
high up in the famous
Tower of London.

But I wasn't going to hang
about.

-I had a brilliant plan for
escaping, see.
-Go on, go on.

So I made a rope
out of bed sheets

and lowered it out of the window
to escape from the Tower.

Ye-es?

Down and down I went until...

-Please be good!
Please be good!
-I ran out of bed sheet!

[HE LAUGHS]

I made it 10 metres too short!

I fell, landed on my head
and died.

[HE LAUGHS]

-That's why I've gone like
that.
-And that's why you're...

-Urgh!
-Oh, hey.

Er, what do you call the
Welshman who tries to escape

with a rope that's 10 metres
too short?

Dai the Stupid Death.
[THEY LAUGH]

Spelled D-A-I.
Cos it's a Welsh name.

Yeah, it's the same thing
like the Welsh name, Dai.

Do you get it?
Do you get it?

Well, me and him get it.
That's right.

Very good.
Congratulations.

You're through to
the afterlife.

-See you later.
-Oh! Er, mind how you go.

There's a bit of a drop
on the other side.

[HE LAUGHS]

I'd probably land on
my bottom and my head
would pop back out.

It might do!
Off you go, now.

-OK. See you later.
-Don't milk it.

I like him a lot.
Best we've had today.
I mean it.

I won't hear anything else.

Shh!
Next!

♪ Stupid deaths, stupid deaths

♪ Hope next time it's not you.♪

[MAN READING]

Good morning, Mrs Grimshaw.

-And how are we feeling today?
-Oh, my throat is killing me.

-Don't you worry.
The doctor will be here soon.
-Yeah.

-It's amazing what they can do
with modern medicine, isn't it?
-Mm, yeah.

But unfortunately,
you won't be getting any.

You're doctor's from
Ancient Rome.

Hail, patient.
I'm Dr Galen.

What appears to be
the problem?

This is Mrs Grimshaw.

She was admitted late
last night with a severe
inflammation of the throat.

Oh, yes.
She appears to have
a bit of a rash.

Possibly a reaction to a bite.

-Nurse, bring me a spider
immediately.
-What for?

The best cure for
a spider bite

is to crush the body
of the spider in the bite.

Oh, Doctor. I don't think
it's a spider bite.

You think it's a snake?
Then we should pour wine
up her nostrils

and smear the bite
in pig poo.

No, I don't think
it's a bite at all.

She says the pain
is inside her throat.

Yeah, yeah. It's red raw.
I could barely breathe
last night.

I thought I was having
some sort of seizure.

Hail, Seizure. Well,
that could be epilepsy
but don't you worry.

A nice glass of gladiator's
blood and you'll be right as
rain.

Mm, nutty.

-You said it, love.
-Doctor, here's a
crazy idea.

Why don't you come
round here and have a look
down her throat?

Mm. Couldn't hurt,
I suppose.

All right.
Open wide.

Oh. Looks like tonsillitis.

Er, nurse,
fetch the surgeon.

Don't worry, Mrs G.

-We'll have those nasty
tonsils out in no time.
-Finally!

-Someone who knows
what they're doing.
-I wouldn't be so sure.

-Hail, Claudius.
-Hail, Geoff.

So, whipping out the old
tonsils, are we?

Oh, is that going
to be painful?

Yes! Yes, it is.
But don't worry.

Us Roman surgeons are
specially trained

to completely block out
the sound of screaming.

[THEY LAUGH]

Now, then.

-Waaaah!
-Did anyone hear
something?

Waaah!

Couldn't hear a thing.
Couldn't hear a thing.

It's true.
Roman army surgeons

really were trained to ignore
shouting and screaming.

As are us rats, when we're
spotted in the kitchen.

They were actually very good
at healing wounds

and thanks to them, lots of
soldiers

survived some pretty
terrible injuries.

But not all Roman medicine
was as sensible. No, no.

Hi, I'm a shouty man
and I'm here

to tell you about
new Criminal's Head.

It's the Roman medical
sensation.

You won't believe all the
things new Criminal's Head
can cure.

Do you suffer from gum disease?

-Uurgh!
-I'm no scientist,

but I'll take that as a yes.

Simply pluck a tooth
from new Criminal's Head

and scrape it against
your diseased gums.

It'll get rid of those
nasty painful sores

and make them up to
a bit percent better.

-I don't think it worked.
-It did.

And there's more.
Have you been
bitten by a dog?

Grrr!
I'm no scientist,

but I'll take that as a yes.

Then simply swallow
one of these pills,

made from the skull
of new Criminal's Head

and your dog bite will
be cured in no time.

Is there nothing you can't do?
And that's not all.

New Criminal's Head will cure
all known diseases,
or no money back.

Are you sick?

I'm no scientist,

but that looks contagious.
Is it contagious?

Then just simply take a hair
from new Criminal's Head

and you won't believe...
Oh, dear. Too late. Never mind.

New Criminal's Head cures
just about anything.
Except that.

And for this month only,
buy new Criminal's Head

and get Hanky Dipped in Blood
absolutely free.

That's right.
New Hanky Dipped
In Blood

is dipped in the lucky blood
of new Criminal's Head.

Guaranteed to bring you good
luuuuuu...

Or no money back.

[MAN READING]

[WOMAN READING]

The answer is

all three.

[WOMAN READING]

In fact, before the French
Revolution of 1789,

the lives of the rich and
poor couldn't have been
more different.

This week, we're in France
for a special royal edition

of Historical Wife Swap.

The King of France, Louis XVI
and his wife, Marie Antoinette

will be doing a Wife Swap
with...

Mr and Mrs French Peasant.

But how will these two
extremes of the French
class system get on?

Welcome to my humble abode,
Mrs Peasant.

Oh, your trousers. They appear
to be around your ankles.

I know! I do it all the time
to make my friends laugh.

[HE LAUGHS]

Because I am your loveable,
eccentric King Louis XVI.

Ah, we are going to have
so much fun!

Benoit, you show Mrs Peasant
to her room. Oh!

If you don't like it,
you can pick another one.

We have 700 rooms
here at the estate.
Hah?

Meanwhile, over at
the Peasant cottage...

Which way is my room?

This is your room.
And my room.
It is the room.

[SHE LAUGHS]
Oh, very funny!

My husband also likes
to drop his trousers.
[SHE LAUGHS]

I've lost so much weight
that they keep falling down.

Us French peasants
are starving to death.

Well, anyway.
It's very funny
when Louis does it.

So, are things going any
better at the royal palace?

-Tell me, Mrs P, would you
like some cake?
-Oh, yes, please.

Benoit?
Bring some cake, please.

Ah!
[SPLAT]

Oh, I am a loveable
eccentric, non?

Am I not, Benoit?

Oui. Tres amusant!

Oh, do you mind?
Only I haven't eaten
for weeks.

Be my guest.
Mm.

The King just asked me if I
wanted to have a bath
in crushed strawberries.

These royals, they are so
out of touch!

We peasants are starving and
they are having baths
full of strawberries?

Obviously, I will scoff
the lot. I am a
starving peasant.

Mm!

It's supper time
at the peasant cottage.

You don't expect me to eat
grass! Do you think I look
like a cow?

Serious question?

But surely you peasants
don't really eat grass?

Last year, there was
a terrible harvest

and now the price of wheat
is so high, we can't
afford bread.

So yes, some of us
have resorted
to eating grass.

I must say that
this whole experience

has been a real
eye-opener for me.

I mean, the poverty,
the hardships,

I have learnt so much.

Like never hang out with
peasants. Yuck!

The Wife Swap is at an end,

and it's time for
the royals and the peasants

to settle their differences.

Oh! Look at that.
Your trousers
are round your ankles.

This country does not need
a loveable eccentric
for a king.

France is penniless
and yet you royals,

you're spending money like
it grows on trees.

Which is silly, because
it...doesn't?

How can you bear to see your
country in such a state?

Er, excuse me.

I'm from Austria.
This isn't
actually my country.

It's true!

I don't think you are helping.

Let's start a revolution.
Oui.

BOTH: Down with the royals!
Vive la revolution!

Don't worry, darling.
I know exactly how t
deal with this.

Tick-tock.

Boom, voila!

[BOTH LAUGH]
Look!

I don't think it's working.
Run.

TOGETHER: Vive la revolution!
-Wait for me.

And so began the French
Revolution.

Louis XIV and Marie Antoinette
tried to escape the angry
peasants

in Paris by fleeing
disguised as servants.

They were arrested after
a merchant recognised
the King

from his face on a coin.

Heads you lose, eh?

Which, as it happens,
is exactly

what happened to Louis.
[LAUGHS]

What?
Oh, he got his head
chopped off.

It's a joke!
Tut, suit yourself.

[MAN READING]

The British Army had help
from all kinds of countries

in the First World War.
So you could've been in
for a surprise

when you arrived
in the British trenches.

Private Tommy Jones
reporting for duty, sir.

Proud to be part
of the British Army, sir.

Pardon, monsieur.
Er, nous somme
le Bataillon Canadien.

Am I in the French Army
trench?

Non, monsieur.
We are Canadian soldiers.

Part of the British Forces
here to fight le Germans.

Oh. Where can I find
the British Regiment?
-That way, my chum.

OK, thank you.
Bit weird,
but cheers.

Private Tommy Jones
reporting for duty, sir.

Proud to be part
of the British Army, sir.

At ease,
ya limey shark biscuit.

If you're looking for
the other pommy cobbers,

you need to go up there
and dip your lid

to the bludger
with the stripes.

[YELLS]
Where are the British Forces?

Just hang on a tick, mate.

We are part of the
British Forces,
ya cheeky larrikin!

Your lot are up there.

All right. Thank you.

Private Tommy Jones
reporting for duty, sir.
Er...

I guess you're not looking for
the South African Division, my
friend?

No, I'm not. Do you know
where the British part

of the British Forces are?

Oh, yeah.
You want to
head down here.

Do a left at the
West Indians, then
a right at the Ghurkhas,

head straight through
the Indian division,

and stop just before
the New Zealanders.

-All right?
God save the King!
-Yeah, whatever.

Excuse me.
Yeah.

Is this the part of the
British Forces with the
actual British in it?

-That's right.
-Oh, thank goodness for that.

I've spent the last hour
looking for you lot.

Turns out half
the British Forces are
from other countries.

-I couldn't understand a word
they were saying.
-Don't worry. You're here now.

Collect your bunk,
your fleabag

and your daisies
from the devil-dodger.

Watch out for chats and
Canutes.

You should avoid getting
chin-strapped

or sent to the rest camp
with a meat ticket cause
you're a landowner.

Do you know what?
I think I might go back
to that French lot.

Au revoir!

That's right.

In World War I, soldiers
from Canada, Australia,
South Africa,

India and other countries
fought for Britain
in France.

Thousands of miles away
from their homes
and families.

Alongside troops from
England, Wales, Ireland
and Scotland.

[FEMALE ANNOUNCER]
Because your legs
are beautiful,

because your skin
is beautiful,

because you're
worth it,

wear ladies tights
beneath your kilt.

Hang on, that's a man.
That's right.

Scottish soldiers always
wear ladies tights in
the trenches.

For one, it keeps you nice
and warm and for two,

ye dinnae want bare legs
if there's a gas attack.

Here's the expensive
graphic-y bit.

[MALE ANNOUNCER]
In tests, ladies tights have

been proven to stop up to 90%

of the damage enemy gas attacks
caused to naked legs.

[FEMALE ANNOUNCER]
So now, whatever the Germans
throw at you,

you can wear your kilt
with confidence.

New ladies tights for men.

Because in the trenches,
a man's best friend is
his ladies tights.

Oof! Though they don't
half ride up a bit.
Oh!

[MAN READING]

Our Tudor Queen
Elizabeth I was a very
difficult woman to impress.

Happy Christmas, your Majesty.

A ring.
Why thank you, Cecil.

Have this put with all
the other presents
I don't like and never use.

Yes, your Majesty.

Lord Robert Dudley.

Lord Dudley.

May your Yuletide merriments
know no bounds, your Majesty.

Oh, a present.

-Whatever could it be?
-What does one get the Queen
who has everything?

Why, something that
nobody has.

How did this tiny clock
get stuck in this bangle?

'Tis a wrist clock,
your Majesty.
The first of its kind.

Ah, with your permission.

Now, when there is
no clock around,
you can tell the time

with a simple look
at your wrist.

Oh-ho-ho!

Why, this is far and away
my favourite present ever.

-Isn't it marvellous, Cecil?
-Mm, yes, your Majesty.

Let us drink to this new
invention.

-To the wrist clock.
-The wrist clock.

Mm! Oh, dear me.

There seems to be
no clock here in
the throne room

and I need to know the time.

Ah, oh! Would you
happen to know what time
it is, your Majesty?

Oh! Why, it is...

Oh, dear,
Lord Dudley,

there appears to be
a serious design flaw
with your wrist clock.

Indeed, your Majesty.

Yes!

Historians believe that
Elizabeth's gift,
a wristwatch,

was possibly the first
of its kind in the world.

Though I imagine, when
ugly Elizabeth looked at it,

the glass cracked!
[LAUGHS]

Oh, what a horrible thing
to say. Oh, I do apologise,
your Majesty.

Yes, there were all sorts
of new fashion accessories

on show in the Tudor era.

Oh, honestly.
The state of these
Tudor streets.

One can avoid
the occasional poo,

but the whole street
is just covered in it.

Ooh, my long dress
is quite ruined.

Oh, Alice.

Is it my imagination or
have you grown?

-Oh, that'll be my new
platform shoes.
-Oh.

I got them in
the local shoe shop. Look!

Now I can walk around
in a poo-filled street

without getting
my lovely dress all mucky.

Ah!
[SPLAT]

You were saying?

[THEY LAUGH]

Hiya, fashion fans, and
welcome to another
Historical Fashion Fix.

This week, a Tudor peasant
will be swapping sack cloth

for silk in an amazing
makeover. So let's meet
our grubby commoner.

It's Pete.

-Are you ready, Pete?
-No.

Then let's get started!

Right. First thing's first,
we need to do something

about that horrible hair.
Am I right, Pete?

-Actually, I...
-Of course I am.

So to help us out,
I've invited
a personal friend,

all the way from
the 1500s.

It's Tudor barber,
Bob the Barber.

She's here.
Mwah, mwah.
Where did you get this?

-It's vintage.
-Lovely.

So, Bob. What are we going
to do about Pete's horrible,
horrible hair?

I'm just going to do
what I do to all Tudors

who can afford a haircut.
Basically, cut it all
the same length,

just above the shoulder.
I call it the bob,

after myself!
[GIGGLES]

Can't wait to see the results.

There we are. All done.
-Thanks, Bob.
You look fierce, Pete.

Apart from that hideous wart.
I can't stop looking at it.

Luckily, we've got a surgeon
who can get rid.

It's Tudor surgeon,
Bob the Surgeon.

Bob? I thought
he was a barber.

Oh no, all Tudor barbers
were surgeons too.

You know, hair, limbs.
It's all cutting,
isn't it?

-What?
-Can you hack off Pete's
horrible wart?

I'll give it a go.

-I feel sick!
-Oh, I can sort that
out too, love.

Bit of blood-letting.
Do you the world of good.

Blood-letting?

Not only does it cure many
ailments,

but blood-letting is great
for that pale complexion

that's all the rage in Tudor
times.

We took our inspiration
for Pete's new outfit
from Henry VIII.

Because the king wore
big, baggy clothes

to hide his big, bloated
belly, everyone else
started doing the same.

Let's see if all that
hard work has paid off.
Here's Pete.

Every inch the Tudor lord.

-How do you feel Pete?
-Can I have my mucky
clothes back?

You can't. We burned them.

That's all we've got time for
this week on Fashion Fix.

Join us next time when
we'll be perking up
another pongy peasant.

-See ya.
-Can someone wipe
some muck on me, please?

Can you show some gratitude,
please?

-Here, mate! Have you got
any mud on you?
-Disgusting.

I hate him.
I actually hate him.

[MAN READING]

Hello and welcome
to The News At When.

When?
Ancient Egyptian times,
over 3,000 years ago,

when the ruler of Egypt

was a nine-year-old boy
called Tutankhamen.

He had a very strange family.

For more details,
here's Bob Hale
with the Pharaoh report.

Thank you, Sam.
Well, it's 1341BC
and we're over here

in Ancient Egypt,
where a wickle baby
has just been born

and his name is Tutankhamen.

Now, he's also known as
Tutankhamen, Tutankhamon,
Tutenkarten,

Amen-tut-ankh, Steve
and King Tut.

Though probably not Steve.
And King Tut's dad was
also a king.

A pharaoh called Akhenaten.
At least, we think
that's his dad.

It's very hard to be sure
because it was so long ago

that no one can
really remember.

Not even my nan and
she's really old,

though she doesn't look it.
Love you, Nan.

What we do know is that
when King Tut was just
6 years old, Akhenaten died.

Yes, his daddy became
a mummy, which is a
very complex operation

and King Tut's big brother
Smenkie becomes Pharaoh

and then promptly dies.
Only to be replaced by
his sister, Neffie.

Who then promptly dies.
Meaning that at just
9 years old,

Tutankhamen becomes Pharaoh,
which I think is fair enough.

All right, no more jokes.
Running a country is no job
for a 9-year-old

because it's far too boring,
so King Tut's uncle turns up.

A chap called Ay and he says
he will keep an eye on things.

Sorry, sorry. Forgot.
So Uncle Ay runs the
country

so that King Tut can get on
with doing all the fun stuff

that kids do, like
playing games, going to school
and getting married.

Yep, getting married.
If you thought that was weird,

to keep his royal blood line
pure, his new wife is also his
sister. Yeugh!

And she used to be
his step mum,
so it's double-yeugh!

Anyway, King Tut grows up,

Uncle Ay hands over power
to Mr and Mrs Tut

and they rule Egypt together
as husband and wife-mum-sister.

And that's the end of that.

Or so we thought.

But history books say Uncle Ay
didn't want to give up power,

so he killed King Tut
by bashing him on the head.

A little something like that.

Yep.
That'd do it.
Except that didn't do it.

It turns out the
history books got it wrong
and King Tut actually died

from an infected broken leg,
leaving poor old Mrs Tut
with a broken heart

and the Crown of Egypt,
which of course Uncle Ay
wants for himself.

How does he plan to get it?
Well, by marrying Mrs Tut,

even though she's his
granddaughter, which is yeugh!

Times this much.

Ooh! But Mrs Tut
has other ideas.

She decides to marry a foreign
prince called Zannanza instead

because he's got such
a cool name, but sadly
Zannanza gets cold feet.

Cold everything in fact,
because he dies. Yes,
killed on his way to Egypt

by a very jealous Uncle Ay who
then finally marries his
granddaughter.

And they live happily
ever after,
ruling Egypt together

for ages and ages and
that is definitely
the end of that.

[BOB READING]

And what a life she's led.
Born in Dublin to
a blind darts player,

she became the first
woman ever to swim
across Ireland,

and would you believe it?
She's 99 today.
So, come on everyone.

♪ Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy Birthday, Nanny Bob
Happy birthday to you.♪

And back over to Sam
to blow out the candles.
Sam.

Tutankhamen was one
of Egypt's most
famous Pharaohs

but not quite as famous
as this one.

♪ Rah rah, Cleopatra

♪ Famous beauty coming at ya

♪ Rah rah Patra-Cleo

♪ Guys all go gaga for me, oh

♪ I am a leader and a lady
and a queen

♪ I'm Cleopatra,
such a queen never been seen

♪ I am a pharaoh
yet they're all
meant to be guys

♪ But I don't care-o
I just wear-o beard disguise

♪ My mum and dad were Pharaohs
I thought I was too

♪ But both my older sisters
thought that they should rule
too

♪ Oh, dear, they both died
I wonder who that will leave

♪ Little me, oh Pharaoh Cleo
OK, no time to grieve

♪ Think that's alarming
you'd be right but it gets worse

♪ Married my half-brother
and we ruled the Universe

♪ That bad romance led to an
overcrowded throne

♪ But then he died boo-hoo
so now I'm all alone

♪ Wow wow wow wow wow

♪ All hail Lady Cleo

♪ Wow wow wow la la

♪ Coolest Pharaoh by far

♪ Fashion took my list of vices

♪ Bathed in ass's milk and
spices

♪ Then I dress liked goddess
Isis

♪ Long black hair in ringlets
nicest

♪ Vipers too for men entices

♪ Finest linen robe, top prices

♪ Married another brother
He's an OK geezer

♪ But never told of my love
for Julius Caesar

♪ Had Caesar's child and hoped
that he'd be crowned king

♪ My bro said no, I said oh
and I murdered him

♪ Cos I am Cleopatra
Egypt's royalty

♪ The ruling pharaoh
Don't you dare all mess with me

♪ My poker face smiles
only when I see

♪ A man who takes my fancy like
Oh, Mark Anthony

♪ Wow wow wow wow wow

♪ Another Roman leader

♪ Wow wow wow la la

♪ No Egyptian crowd pleaser

♪ Rah rah Cleopatra

♪ Finally I'd met my match-a

♪ Rah rah Patra-Cleo

♪ Ends in death for him and me-o

♪ My life was a drama

♪ I was one kooky mama

♪ Wow wow wow, you know

♪ Today I'd be a favourite
of the paparazzo.♪

No pictures, no pictures.

♪ Tall tales,
Atrocious acts,

♪ We gave you all
the fearsome facts

♪ The ugly truth no glam or glee

♪ We showed you all
the juicy bits

♪ Gory, ghastly, mean and cruel

♪ Stuff they don't teach you
at school

♪ The past is no longer
a mystery

♪ Hope you enjoyed
Horrible Histories ♪