All language subtitles for Horrible Histories S02E09 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+2 0 H 264-QOQ_track3_[eng]

# Terrible Tudors,
gorgeous Georgians
Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians

# Woeful wars,
ferocious fights
Dingy castles, daring knights

# Horrors that defy
description Cut-throat Celts,
awful Egyptians

# Vicious Vikings,
cruel crimes
Punishments from ancient times

# Roman, rotten, rank and
ruthless Cavemen savage,
fierce and toothless

# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages

# Gory stories, we do that

# And your host a talking rat

# The past is no
longer a mystery

# Welcome to
Horrible Histories #

[NARRATOR READING]

I've got something
amazing to show you.
Ta-da! It's a banana.

No one had ever seen a banana
in Britain
before Stuart times.

And that's not the only thing
that was new.

Oh, lovely!
I really fancy a cuppa.

-Oh, me too.
-A nice cup of hot water.

There's nothing quite like a
steaming hot pot of hot
water in the afternoon.

-Um, I was uh, er...
-Yes?

I was just wondering, would
anyone like some dead leaves
in their hot water?

What? Dead leaves in water?
Like a puddle in autumn?

They're very special leaves,
they've come all
the way from China.

Oh, whoopee-doo,
so these leaves
have been in a sack

for months and months while
they've gone halfway round
the world in a boat.

Manky, musty old leaves,
and you want to
put them in our hot water?

No, well, I think you'll find
that they make the hot water

taste so much nicer.
Please, try some.

Oh, really, Charles, honestly,
this is the most
ludicrous thing

I've ever heard of...
Ooh, that is nice.

You see? You see?

They really do
make the hot water
taste better.

Oh, I've never
heard such nonsense!

Mmm! Oh, no, that is nice.

-What do you call this drink?
-Ah, well, it's called tea.

-Tea?
-Tea.

-Tea.
-Tea.

Tea.

His Majesty King Charles
is very fond of it,
apparently.

Well, you can see why,
it's delicious.

You know what we should do?
We should take
these leaves of yours,

put them in
a small paper envelope,
attach a piece of string to it

and call it...a tea bag.

-John, is everything all
right?

-Not really, no, I do
apologise.

Well,
do help yourself to cake.

Yes, let's distract
ourselves with cake.

Obviously,
no one invented tea bags
until much, much later,

but there really
was no tea in Britain
until 1656.

So before then,
it must have been
known as Briain.

Do you get it, eh?
No T in Britain?
Briain? Briain?

[LAUGHING]

Suit yourself.

So, the Stuarts
thought drinking tea
was a bit strange,

but that doing these things
was perfectly normal.

[WOMAN SIGHING]

Am I going to have
to wait much longer?

Oh, I'm really sorry about
this. We're just very
short-staffed today

and I'm waiting for the
replacement doctor
to come in from...

Oh, dear, the Stuart era.

You burn the sole of an old
shoe and then give
it to the patient

and then encourage him
to inhale the smoke.

'Tis the perfect Stuart cure
for swallowing a snake.

There we are, now run along.
Ah, how may I be of service?

This lady's hurt
her arm due to a fall.

Well, it just so happens
that I have in my possession

a Stuart cure of note
for just such an affliction.

Now, I think a little
bloodletting

using a horse-leech should do
the trick.

Ow! You're making it worse.
Look, it's bleeding!

There. Ah, fear thee not,

we shall stop
the flow of blood
using this here feather quill.

Do we put
the feather onto the wound?

Don't be ridiculous,
young woman.

I think it's
perfectly clear that
I shall use the quill

to write "Veronica" on her
left thumb and that should
stem the flow of blood.

[GROANS] I feel faint.
I need some water.

[GULPING]

[CHOKING] What was that?

Ah, accidentally swallowed
a horse-leech.

Well, swallow this elixir,

it will remedy the affliction
in just a few moments.

-[COUGHING] What is it?
-Vinegar mixed with fleas.

-Oh, I'm going to be sick.
-Nurse, open the window...

Ah,
he's talking sense at last.

...while I just
spread some birdseed
around the patient's feet.

Birdseed?

It is the catch-all Stuart
cure to treat any truly
troublesome ailment.

Hmm, we just need some pigeons
to peck at the patient's feet.

We used the same treatment
for Prince Henry.

And did Prince
Henry get better?

No, he died.
Still, second time lucky, hey?

[CHUCKLING] Now, let's get
those pigeons in here.

Come on, let's encourage them.

Coo!
Coo! They'll be here soon.
[CLEARING THROAT]

[NARRATOR READING]

Welcome back to HH TV Sport,

bringing you exclusive live
sporting events from the past.

Today, a big fight special.

In Viking times, quarrels
between families,
known as feuds,

could get very violent
and go on for years.

For more details,
let's go over to
our commentators field-side.

And you join us
here on day 523 of this

nail-biting,
uh, Viking family feud.

Let's look back at
how it all started.

-"You stupid moose-face."
-What?

That's how it started,

Eric Olafson
calls Magnus Bloodaxe
a "stupid moose-face".

And here we are,
a year and a half later,

let's see, 57 dead.
Uh, obviously
both sides have been

sticking to the Viking
family feud rules.

That's right, John, rule one,
there are no rules.

[LAUGHS] And...
Oh, it looks like
it's all happening,

the Olafsons have
set fire to a...
a Bloodaxe's home.

It looks like Uncle...
[COUGHING]
It looks Uncle Ragnar's place.

I think Ragnar's
still inside there.
That's nasty.

Yeah, absolutely.
And the Bloodaxes
are warming up a substitute.

-It's a Berserker, Steve.
-[MAN GRUNTING]

-Oh, that's...
-It's a Berserker.

Now, Berserkers are
very,
very special Viking warriors.

Now, Steve,
can you tell us a little bit
about this, uh,

special movement
we're seeing here?

Thanks, John.
Yeah,
well, what he's doing now is,

he's building himself up into
what's known as
a Berserker battle frenzy,

where he'll become like a wolf
or a bear.

-I'd say he was
doing the wolf.
-Well, I'd say it was a bear.

[HOWLING]

[BOTH] It's a wolf.
It's definitely a wolf.

And with all that howling
and frothing at the mouth,

he'll be preparing himself
to go really
wild in the fight.

Yeah, and he's off.
That's a good start.

-Oh! Oh.
-Oh, that's extraordinary.

JOHN: Oh, it looks like...
oh,
a local lord has stepped in

and after more than
a year of fighting,
has ended the feud.

It's interesting,
what the local
lord is doing here is

he's trying to
work out which family
has suffered the most.

Yes, he's working out how much
the other family have to pay,

so that the feud can end
and both
families can walk away

-with equal honour.
-Hmm.

And the blood money's changing
hands and it's...
it's all over, Steve.

It's over, it's over.
It's a great shame, actually,

the young Berserker winding
himself up there for really
nothing at all,

there'll be no more
killing here today.

[BERSERKER WHOOPING]

Spoke too soon, Steve, leg it!

[BERSERKER YELLING]

Yes, we Vikings love to fight.

Dying in battle was an honour,
because it meant you get to go

to Valhalla, Viking Heaven,
and if you were a chief,

you got a really
savage send-off, too,
check it out.

VIKING: You join us on this,
the saddest of days,

our great leader,
Ragnar the Brave is dead.

And it's time
for his traditional
Viking funeral.

As he's laid to
rest on his longboat,

he will be sorely missed
by his two sons,
Olaf the Fierce...

[ROARS] I'm
the new leader now!

VIKING: And Sigrid the Bitter.

I wanted to be the new leader,
but it's fine, it's fine.
It's fine.

VIKING: And now everything
that Ragnar needs for his
journey into the afterlife

is thrown into the longboat.

His mighty axe, his steely
sword, his trusty shield,
plenty of food.

[SOBBING] Walrus pie.

VIKING:
And his favourite slave girl.

I was the chief's
favourite slave girl?
I was his favourite?

Well, this is quite an honour.

VIKING: And now the longboat
will be set on fire.

Oh, great,
I knew there'd be a catch.

VIKING: And the ceremony would
not be complete without
a moving Viking poem.

Ragnar the Brave
has lost his head,

we Vikings aren't sad,
we party instead!

[ALL ROARING]

VIKING: And so the solemn
Viking funeral ends in
the traditional Viking way.

Right, who wants a fight?

It's what Ragnar
would have wanted!

[ALL YELLING]

VIKING: Such moving scenes.
Quite brings
a tear to the eye.

[ALL GRUNTING]

I love a good funeral!

[NARRATOR READING]

Hello, people of Britain,

I'm here to tell you how to
stay nice and safe
during an air raid,

with the new
Anderson bomb shelter.

It comes with easy-to-follow
assembly instructions.

Simply dig
a hole in your garden
and with the magic of wood,

corrugated iron
and a bit of elbow grease,

hey presto,
one Anderson
bomb raid shelter.

There's plenty of
room for everyone.

-Budge up.
-Give over.

You could be in here
for up to six hours
during a bombing raid,

so remember to
bring a good book.

War and Peace,good choice.

Oh, would you stop it?

The Anderson bomb
shelter comes with
its own en-suite toilet.

Oh, yuck! [GAGGING]
Where's my gas mask?

It could save your life, so
don't delay, build your
Anderson bomb shelter today.

And introducing
the new Morrison shelter.

If you've not got a garden,
then this little beauty
could be for you.

It makes a lovely addition
to any London home.

You can even play
table tennis on it.

My point, I think.

Be safe from those bombs
with the new Morrison shelter.

[BOMB EXPLODING]

Oh, dear! Brother,
room for a small one?
Come along.

Every home needed its own
air raid shelter
during the Blitz,

but German bombs
weren't the only thing
that made life dangerous.

# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths

# They're funny
'cause they're true, whoo!

# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths

# Hope next time it's not you
Hee-hee #

And they had
slits up the side,
what's the point in...

Your legs would get cold.
Yes, uh, next please.

And you are?

A businessman from London
during the Blitz.

Oh, no, a Cockney.
Here we go again.

Um, let me guess,
killed by a bomb,
was you, guv?

No,
it's a bit more embarrassing
than that, actually.

Ooh, goody gumdrops, do go on.

Well, one night I
was on the train home
from work during the blackout.

[MIMICS ACCENT] The black-aht?

Well,
to stop the German bombers
from finding London,

every night
they'd have a blackout,
no lights allowed.

Oh, blackout! Oh, I see,
or rather I don't.

[LAUGHING] Keep
up guys, keep up.
Do go on.

So there I was
on me train home

and, uh, suddenly the train
came to a halt

and I thought,
well, this is my station.

So I'm tootling off the train
and suddenly, whoa...

[MIMICS SQUISHING]

...fell 30 feet to my death.

Very good, but...

Well, it turns out the train
was just waiting
on a railway bridge.

Oh! [LAUGHING] And
you thought it was
the platform and you...

That is priceless,
you had a one-way ticket,
straight down.

Good, I like it, I like...
Hmm? Yes, I agree.

Oh, shut up, Louis. Ooh!

Who would have thought that?
Well done,
you've got two yeses,

-you're into the afterlife.
-Oh, thank you kindly.

-Enjoy the trip.
-Oh, cheers, yeah.

-Referring to the trip that...
-Oh, the... Yeah, yeah.

[MIMICS TRAIN TOOTING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Enjoy.
I liked him, good smile.
Kids'll love him.

# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths

# Hope next time it's not you
Hoo-hoo #

[NARRATOR READING]

It was so
dangerous in the cities
that lots of schoolchildren

had to be sent
somewhere safer.

NARRATOR:
He had been evacuated
from the city

to a foster home
in the country.

This is your new home now,
Charlie, until the Germans
stop bombing London.

Don't worry,
you'll be safe here.

Can I go play, Mrs Jones?

Of course, Charlie.
Mind you don't
come to any harm.

NARRATOR:
But here, he was to face
something even more terrifying

than German bombs. It was like
nothing he'd ever seen
before in the city.

[MOOING]

[SCREAMING]

[NARRATOR READING]

[SCREAMING]

[PANTING] It had horns to butt
with and it made
a terrifying noise.

[MOOING CONTINUES]

Ah! It had six
sides and it had a tail,
on which hangs a brush.

Don't be silly, Charlie,
it's just a cow.

[SCREAMING]

NARRATOR: Everything was new,
everything was scary.

[SHEEP BLEATING]

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

[ROOSTER CROWING]

[PIG GRUNTING]

[NARRATOR READING]

There's nothing to be scared
of, Charlie.
They're just farm animals.

Now, why don't you go
and have a nice relaxing bath.

A bath?
Are you trying to drown me?

[SCREAMING]

NARRATOR: The Farm.

Just when you
thought it was safer
in the country.

It is.

It's true,
some children from the city
had never seen animals before

and they weren't used to
regular baths, either.

When one pair of
evacuees saw a bath,

they really thought
they were going to be drowned.

[LAUGHS] Me, I always have
a regular bath,
one every other year.

[NARRATOR READING]

We didn't write things down
in Incan Peru.

Messages were sent
around the empire

using a relay team of runners
called the Chasquis.

It was a real test
of fitness and memory.

You asked for me, Chief.

Are you from the Chasqui
Messenger Services?

Yes, Chief.

I want you to relay
the following message

to the High Chief at Nazca,
50 miles to the west.

Yes,
Chief, what's the message?

Message is,
invaders are
nearing the coast,

defences must be reinforced,

send 50 men with spears
under cover of
night and please hurry.

Now, go.

Chasqui Messenger Service.

Message is
invaders are
nearing the coast,

the fences must be reinforced,

send 50 spears
under cover of night,
please hurry.

Sweet.

[PANTING] Invaders
are hearing the most,

um, the fence is dusty,
feel the force,

send 50 spears
under the cover of rice,
please hurry.

The invaders are
hearing a ghost,
this fence is rusty,

peel the horse,

send 50 spears
under cover of rice
and peas.

What news?

The invaders in
earrings are ghosts,

this fence was
rusted by a peeing horse,

send Britney Spears
covered in pea and rice curry.

Well, you heard the man.

Thankfully, the Chasqui
messengers didn't just rely
on their memories,

they also used
an elaborate system
of knotted string,

which was so
complicated Incas had to
spend an entire year at school

just learning to tie knots.
[CHUCKLES] And you thought
double maths was bad.

No wonder some
of their stories
sound a bit mixed up.

Hello and welcome
to the News at When.

When? The 1000s,

and in South America,
the Incas have emerged

and set about building
their very own empire.

They have an incredible story
of how it all happened,

some of it is true,
a lot of it probably isn't.

But here anyway is Bob Hale
with the Incan Report. Bob.

Thank you, Sam.
Well, the year is
1070 or thereabouts,

that there is Peru
and the Incan people

are just about to
magically appear
from a cave.

I know it sounds a bit weird
and you don't have
to believe the story.

The important thing is
the Incans believed it,

so one
generation would tell it
to the next,

who would tell it to the next,
who would tell it to the next,

just like I'm telling it
to you right now,

but without
the rather fetching tie.

So,
first out of the cave, then,
we have this chap, Manco,

followed by his brothers and
sisters and all the rest
of the Incan people.

And Manco appoints himself
leader. And to ensure he
stays that way,

promptly kills
all his brothers.
Well, better safe than sorry.

And then he marries his
sister, yuck, and they have
some children, yuck,

and they settle in
a place called Cuzco.
Yuck!

At least it's
yuck for the people
who already live there

because the Incans
just kicked them out.
Yep, see you!

So Manco
becomes
the first Lord of Cuzco.

The Incans have
a place to call home
and that is the end of that.

But not for long!
When mighty
Manco pops his socks,

there's a big argument about
which of his sons
will replace him.

Luckily,
Mrs Manco sorts it out.

She wants it to be
her favourite son, Sinchi.

So she dresses him up
in this pure gold tunic,

one that's almost
as fetching as my tie,

and pretends that he's the sun
god, a plan which quite
unbelievably works,

and since no
one's going to argue
with a sun god,

Sinchi becomes
the second Lord of Cuzco.

But not for long!
No, after inventing
the official royal haircut,

yes, I'm serious,
Sinchi is replaced
by Lord Lloque,

who's so ugly his own wife
can't even bear
to look at him.

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Honestly,
he looks like
a plate of mince.

Unlucky, Lloque.
Then comes this big bully,

a chap called Mayta,
and I mean he's big.

By the age of one, he was
apparently the size of
an 8-year-old child.

-Just imagine the nappies.
-[FARTING]

Ugh! Then along comes his son,
Capac, known as
the Unforgettable Prince,

and is then promptly forgotten
about. Seriously,
we know nothing about him,

except he was
followed by his son Roca.

[SCATTING]

Who was then
followed by his son Yahua,

who was then murdered
by his son Viracocha,

who, not satisfied with being
Lord of Cuzco,
insists on being called God.

Big-headed much?

And if you thought that was
arrogant you should see
what he gets up to.

Not content with ruling Cuzco,

he starts taking over
all the neighbouring lands

and pretty soon this bullying
becomes the family business.

Yes,
along comes his son Pachacuti
and his grandson, Tupa,

who take over
enough land to create
the one and only...

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da!
Incan Empire!
And that is the end of that.

Or so we thought! Then in
1493, Huayna becomes
the Incan Emperor.

While he's off
conquering Ecuador,
up there,

trouble turns up
back down in Cuzco,
trouble that looks like this.

Aliens!

No, no, not really, it's
germs. Yes, a plague from
Bolivia, down there,

sweeps up, killing thousands
and thousands of Incans.

And what does Huayna do?
He rushes home,
catches the plague and dies.

What an idiot.
And while the Incans
are busy dying of plague,

even more trouble turns up.

Aliens! No, not really,
it's the Spanish Conquistadors

who want all of the valuable
Incan gold. And what do they
bring with them?

Aliens! No, no, it's just even
more germs, diseases
from Europe this time.

Smallpox, in fact,
which should have
been called bigpox,

because they
killed so many Incans.

So after going
from one tiny cave
to an entire empire,

the Incan people are all but
wiped out by a combination of
Spanish greediness,

Incan weediness, wheezes,
sneezes and diseases,
and not by knobbly kneeses,

short-term leases,
ceaseless sea breezes,

winter freezes, the Japaneses
or this fine
selection of Greek cheeses,

including this very crumbly
feta to which I am
horribly allergic.

[CHOKING]

Oh, no, I'm fine, actually.
Oh, no, I'm not!

[NARRATOR READING]

So, that's your homework.
Learn a hundred English words.

-Do we have to, Miss?
-Yes, you do.

The English run
all the schools
in Wales.

-So which
language do we speak?
-ALL: English, Miss.

And what happens if I hear you
speaking Welsh?

We have to wear
the Welsh Not, Miss.

That's right. You have to
put on the Welsh Not,
like Jenkins here.

Jenkins,
you used a Welsh word,
didn't you?

Yes, Miss.

-Which word did you say?
-Miss, I know. It was Cymru.

-[CHILDREN GASP]
-Ha ha! You said it.

You said a Welsh word.
You have to put
the Welsh Not on.

[CHILDREN SNIGGERING]

What are you
sniggering at, girl?

Sorry, Miss,
I just can't
believe he said Cymru.

[GASPS]

-Oh, dear,
what are we going to do now?
-Wear the Welsh Not, Miss?

Correct.
And we all know what happens
to the last person

to be wearing the Welsh Not
at the end of
the school day, don't we?

Yes, Miss.

They get a beating.

-Miss?
-TEACHER: Yes.

What does Cymrumean?

It's Welsh for "Wales",
but the bell's about to go,

-so bend over
for your beating.
-Yes, Miss.

Ah, somebody's
been speaking Welsh,
have they?

-Yes, Headmaster.
-Some people never learn.

[LAUGHING]
The silly clot asked me
what Cymrumeans.

[ALL GASPING]

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

Let this be a lesson to you.

Ow! Thank you, sir.

Ow! Sorry, sir.

Schools were made free in
1891. Until then,
it cost a penny a day

and not all parents
thought it was
value for money.

Good day.

Mother,
Father, you wanted to see me?

Yeah, here she is,
our beloved 16th daughter.

-What's your name again?
-Chastity.

Chastity! I told you.

Right, Chastity, we'd like
to talk to you on your
school attendance.

Yeah?

-It seems you've been going.
-Every day.

After everything
we've done for you,

could you not at least have
bunked off school once?

Costs us a penny every day,
five days a week,

40 weeks a year.
Have you any idea
how much money that is, girl?

Five times 40... 200 pence.

-I learnt how to
do maths at school.
-A waste of time.

You should be
down at that factory
bringing some money in.

If you're so good at maths,

you tell me what you get
when you divide
a loaf of bread

between 18 people? Nothing.

-It's an 18th, actually.
-Oh, Father,
where did we go wrong?

But I thought
you'd be pleased.
Just look at my school report,

I'm doing really well.

-Aren't you going to read it?
-We can't read.

Well, I can. I learnt how to
at school and it says I'm
top of the class.

You should be top of a chimney
with a wire
brush in your hand.

That's what I was doing at
your age, it didn't do me
any...[COUGHING].

Or you should be down
at the ribbon factory like me.

But I like school.

What's there to
like about school, eh?
What do you like?

Is it the learning
or the ruthless beating?

'Cause if it is
the beatings you like,
darling, your dad'll beat you.

I certainly will
and I won't charge you
a penny a day for it, either.

But they don't
beat me at school,
I'm a good pupil.

The teachers say
that if I pass my exams,

I could even
become a teacher myself.

What do you want to be
a teacher for, eh?

You want to beat
up innocent kids
all day earning £60 a year?

Uh, hang on...

That's more than I
earn in a decade.
Oh, Chastity, darling.

We're so proud
of you, darling.

She's my favourite,
I've always said it.

-I know.
-So when do you start?

That's right, in Victorian
times, you could become
a teacher aged just 14.

How silly was that?

I mean, what classes
could a teenage boy teach,

double
spot-picking followed by
how to sleep in late

and wear your jeans too low?
[LAUGHING]

[NARRATOR READING]

Hi, I'm a lonesome cowboy.

[FARTING]

[STRAINING] And that's why
when I go out driving cattle,

there's three things
I always take with me.

My six-gun, my hat
and the must-have
cowboy accessory,

the new Multi-Purpose Bandana!

Yes, new Multi-Purpose
Bandana is a dust mask when
you're driving cattle,

it's sun protection
for the back of the neck,

it's an oven glove
when you're holding
a hot pot of beans.

It's also useful
when you've eaten the beans.

[FARTING]

Phew-ee! And that's not all!

New Multi-Purpose Bandana

also makes a handy tourniquet
if you get bitten
by a rattlesnake,

or a great sling
if you break a limb.

It even doubles up as earmuffs
in cold weather.

And that's not all.

New
Multi-Purpose Bandana is also

a useful mask
if you wanna steal something.

Good day to you, sir.
Now hand over
all your bandanas.

New Multi-Purpose Bandana,
available now in
general stores.

NARRATOR: Warning,
trying to steal a bandana

can result in
a nasty headache.

I told you so.

[NARRATOR READING]

The answer is they are all
genuine cowboy towns.
Who'd a thought it?

Actually that's a real
cowboy town name, too.

Who'd A Thought It, Alabama.

Howdy. You know what you need
to be a genuine cowboy?

Cows.
You ain't herding cattle,
you ain't no cowboy.

# Well, I'm a real-life cowboy
Just a quiet, humble fella

# That's what we're like
Apart from Mike

# Yeah, I'm more of a yeller

# Sing songs to
pass the evenings

# And because it
soothes the herd
so they won't stampede

# Unless Mike sings lead

# And shouts every single word

-BOTH: Mike!
-Sorry!

# 'Cause we're cowboys
Real-life cowboys

# Not like
the ones you've seen
on your TV

# We've never
held up banks at all

# We're poorly paid
# And kind of small

# If you still
wanna be a cowboy

# Stick with me!

# On your horse for 18 hours

# And that
saddle sore's a curse

# Then feed your horse
# And yourself of course

# Though beans
just make it worse

[FARTING]

# Then you're
back driving cattle

# That's what
being a cowboy means

# Moving those
beasts from west to east

[FARTING] # Sorry,
that's the beans

# Cause we're cowboys,
real-life cowboys

# Not like
the ones you've seen
in the movies

# We're not big hunks
like that John Wayne

# 'Cause our
horses would complain

# If you still
wanna be a cowboy

# Join us please!

# You should be aware
we have some
customs that are strange

# Like saying "Howdy" and not
"Hello" when you're out
here on the range

# Never touch a cowboy's hat

# Never ride his horse

# So what if I
took your old mare?

# Well,
I'd shoot you, of course
# Fair enough!

# Cowboys, real-life cowboys

# Not like the ones you see
on silver screens

# We didn't go
out starting fights

# 'Cause unions
fought for our rights

# Now Mike will do a solo
thanks to beans

[FARTING MELODY]

-How was that?
-BOTH: It stunk!

# And now my friends I fear
that the end is drawing near

# 'Cause we only
ruled the range
for 20 years #

ALL: Yee-ha!

# Tall tales, atrocious acts
We gave you all
the fearsome facts

# The ugly truth, no glam or
glitz We showed you
all the juicy bits

# Gory,
ghastly, mean and cruel

# Stuff they don't
teach you at school

# The past is no
longer a mystery

# Hope you enjoyed
Horrible Histories #