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1
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,920
# Terrible Tudors,
gorgeous Georgians
Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
2
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,640
# Woeful wars,
ferocious fights
Dingy castles, daring knights
3
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,480
# Horrors that defy
description Cut-throat Celts,
awful Egyptians
4
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,200
# Vicious Vikings,
cruel crimes
Punishments from ancient times
5
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:19,960
# Roman, rotten, rank and
ruthless Cavemen savage,
fierce and toothless
6
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,680
# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages
7
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,360
# Gory stories, we do that
8
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,120
# And your host a talking rat
9
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,920
# The past is no
longer a mystery
10
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:35,920
# Welcome to
Horrible Histories #
11
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,320
[NARRATOR READING]
12
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:44,680
Viking warriors, tomorrow,
13
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:48,360
as the sun rises,
we set sail for England!
14
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,880
[ALL SHOUTING]
15
00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,200
We must be bold,
we must be terrifying.
16
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,120
[GROWLING]
17
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,040
We have our axes.
18
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,720
We have our daggers.
19
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,720
We have our swords.
20
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,120
But now we have a new weapon
at our disposal.
21
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:07,680
Make-up.
22
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:08,800
[SNICKERS]
23
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:10,080
Huh?
24
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,520
Do this, my brothers,
25
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:17,920
and you shall strike fear
into our enemies' hearts.
26
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:21,000
ALL: Yes!
27
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,280
Let's go and kill some monks!
28
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,800
[ALL YELLING]
29
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,880
Olaf, good work.
30
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,200
You look truly bloodcurdling.
31
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,760
Sven,
my old friend, excellent.
32
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,560
You will chill
the enemy to their bones.
33
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,240
Bjorn, that's what
I call really scary.
34
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:44,720
Eric.
35
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,200
It's the nose, isn't it?
A bit too much?
36
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,040
No, it's really terrifying.
37
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,800
Let's get us some monastery!
38
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,320
[ALL GROWLING]
39
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,280
[LAUGHS]
40
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,040
It's true, though.
Those rough,
tough Viking warriors
41
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:06,280
liked to wear eye make-up,
neatly trim their beards,
42
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,880
and have a good wash
every Saturday night.
43
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,400
And when they invaded Britain,
44
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,480
they loved to pick on nice,
easy targets,
45
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,600
like poor, defenceless monks.
46
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:18,080
Do you know,
Vikings were basically
just great big girls. [LAUGHS]
47
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,800
But don't tell
them I said that.
48
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,160
[MEN YELLING]
49
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:29,000
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, stop. Whoa!
50
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,520
What's going on?
51
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,040
We were just
minding our own business
52
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,360
and they came out of the blue
with axes and swords.
53
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,720
[ALL ARGUING]
54
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,640
Di-di-di...
One at a time, please.
55
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,360
You, is what he said true?
56
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:45,840
I asked you to stop for
a second while we sort
this out, please.
57
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,320
What? I was just...
58
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,320
Thank you.
59
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,840
Now, what are you doing here?
This is Lindisfarne,
60
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,360
we're a monastery,
we're peaceful people.
61
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,800
Well, um, I've never really
thought about it before,
62
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,240
why did we sail here
from Scandinavia exactly?
63
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,120
Maybe it's because
there's not enough food.
64
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,080
There is a shortage of herring
where we're from.
65
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,000
I thought it was 'cause
we needed more land,
66
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,080
'cause my dad's left all of
his land to my older brother,
which isn't fair.
67
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,600
It is a bit crowded.
68
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,440
Well, we do need
more space to live.
69
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,560
Plus, we've got
a new Viking King now
and he is such a bully.
70
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:19,720
As are our wives.
71
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,560
[ALL LAUGHING]
72
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:25,800
Right. Well, it seems to me
like you don't know
why you're here,
73
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:30,240
so why don't you just go home
and we'll say no
more about it, okay?
74
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,240
No, I've just
remembered what it is.
75
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,800
It's because killing is really
fun and taking stuff from
monks is very easy.
76
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,080
-That's it.
-Yeah, yeah,
it was, it's mainly that.
77
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,240
That was it.
78
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:45,600
Right. Well, as long as
we're clear on that, carry on.
79
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,160
[ALL YELLING]
80
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,320
[NARRATOR READING]
81
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,040
You're watching HH TV Sports,
82
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,920
bringing you exclusive live
sporting events from the past.
83
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,680
Today, it's football,
but not as you know it.
84
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:11,000
It's time to go over live to
the 1500s to join our
commentator pitside.
85
00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,920
Hello,
and welcome to Tudor England,
86
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,720
where the big
sport of the common man
is an early form of football.
87
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,880
I'm here with Alan,
captain of
the Roxbridge village team,
88
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,400
who's here to tell me
a little bit more
about the sport.
89
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,440
So, Alan,
I understand it's a very
important match here today.
90
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,520
Yes, Gary, it's nice to see
the whole
village has turned out.
91
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,760
Yeah,
great to see so much support
for the team.
92
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,400
Support?
No, they're not support.
93
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,600
No,
everyone plays for the team,
the whole village is playing.
94
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,800
It's our village
versus
the neighbouring village.
95
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,800
I see. And what's the score?
96
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,840
Oh, it's still nil-nil,
but we did come
close to a goal.
97
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,520
Thrilling. How close, exactly?
98
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,400
-About two and a half miles.
-Two and a half miles?
99
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,920
Yeah,
we play between two villages
and the winning team
100
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,720
is the team that gets the ball
through the cemetery gates
101
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,640
-to the opposing village.
-[EXCLAIMING]
102
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,320
-And this is your ball?
-Yeah,
it's made of pig's bladder.
103
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,120
It looks like a pig's... Ow!
104
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,680
[GROANS]
105
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,360
Oh, now... I... That... Wait!
106
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,280
That-that...
That is inexcusable.
Where is the referee?
107
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,160
There's no referee,
there's no rules.
108
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,840
Oh, that does explain
the black eye,
the broken finger,
109
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,920
and what appears
to be a bitten ear.
110
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,560
Yeah, well, it's just
a gentle game today, Gary.
111
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,000
Last game I dislocated my arm
and broke my jaw.
112
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,000
Nasty.
113
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,040
Would it be possible to have
a word with the captain of
the opposition team?
114
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,320
-Yeah, go ahead.
-Thank you.
115
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,320
So, how's the game going
from your point of view?
116
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,040
Hi, Gary. Yeah, pretty good.
117
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,440
I think it's going
to be a long one,
though, could go on for hours.
118
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,440
I think some of the lads
will end up flat on their
backs by the end.
119
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,600
Exhausted?
120
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,080
No, dead.
121
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,560
You know, this is how brutal
the game can be, you know.
122
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,320
Do you want to be on
our side, 'cause...
123
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,320
I'll certainly give it a go.
124
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,000
-Um...
-[KICK, GROANING]
125
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,120
Yep, still got it.
Back to the studio.
126
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:54,080
Henry VIII needed
lots of young, fit men
for the English army,
127
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,400
and so many
people were getting
injured playing Tudor football
128
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,720
that in 1540,
Henry made it illegal.
129
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,560
There really were
some unusual laws
in Tudor times.
130
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:08,720
-Give me your purse!
-Oh!
131
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,680
-Come on, give me your purse.
-Take it, take it.
132
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,720
Lovely, hold on, hold on.
Right, right, lovely.
133
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,000
There's your change
and I'll just
write you a receipt.
134
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,920
-Excuse me?
-Well, I only wanted 11 pence
135
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,640
so I gave you the rest
and I think
I'll just write you
136
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,240
a little piece of paper here.
137
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,680
That just saves any confusion,
should it come to court.
138
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,440
Um,
I'm still a little confused.
139
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,480
Well, you see,
if you steal 11 pence or less,
140
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,560
they chuck you in prison,
but if you steal
12 pence or more,
141
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,120
then they
sentence you to death.
142
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,480
Oh, I see.
143
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,560
So I'll just write
you this receipt.
144
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,280
Not gonna sign it,
for obvious reasons.
145
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,640
[BOTH LAUGHING]
146
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,080
Okay, there you go,
have a nice day.
147
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,760
Um, well, thank you, you know,
I have to say
148
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,400
that's quite the most
pleasant
mugging I've ever had.
149
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,400
Oh, well, we take pride
in our work, yeah.
150
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,360
In fact, um,
here's a penny
for your trouble.
151
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,160
Ah, well, thank you very much,
that's very kind of you.
152
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,640
Hang on, this makes 12 pence,
if I'm caught...
153
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,240
It looks like
somebody's for the chop.
154
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,320
Oh, no, this is a tip.
155
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,240
-Oh, it's a tip, is it?
-Yes.
156
00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,840
Oh, that's right,
so you weren't mugging her?
157
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,760
-No, I was.
-I'm going to
chop your head off.
158
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:03,840
Oh, have mercy, sir.
159
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,440
[NARRATOR READING]
160
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:13,480
Us ancient Egyptians used
a clever writing system
called hieroglyphics.
161
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,920
But it was not
an easy system to learn,
check this out.
162
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:26,160
# Settle down,
class, now you've passed
your grade one pyramid selling
163
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:31,200
# Yeah, the time has come for
me to drum some facts into
you about spelling
164
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:35,960
# Oh, it seems to
me your ABC skills
are less than terrific
165
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:41,160
# So buck up, boys, as we
master the joys of the lovely
hieroglyphic, whoo!
166
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,560
# Everyone needs their ABC
167
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,840
# It's as simple as
vulture, foot, basket
168
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,240
# You know how
to sing do, re, mi
169
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,800
# Easy to spell
It's hand, eye-thingy, owl
170
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,160
# ABC
# Vulture, foot, basket
171
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,120
# Do, re, mi
# Hand, eye-thingy, owl
172
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,480
# You'll pass with ease
And find it's a breeze
173
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,760
# The rules are scientific
174
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,200
# Don't have to be smart
All you do is start
175
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,720
# With simple
phonetic glyphics
176
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,960
# Next you get
to learn as a set
177
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,720
# More things
called logographic
178
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,080
# Finally third,
the form of a word,
determinatives
179
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,400
# Horrific!
180
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,840
# Everyone needs
their flamingo, house, sun
181
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,320
# It's simple
but sun can
mean duck, everyone
182
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,440
# You all know how
to write your name
183
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,120
# Except for me,
Tutan Nefertiti Khamun
184
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,480
# Flamingo, house, sun
# Means duck to some
185
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,960
# Tutan Nefertiti Khamun
# Let's leave that one
186
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:43,520
# If you find it hard,
don't be afraid to go and ask
your mummy for aid
187
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,560
# Now it's time
for a spelling bee
188
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,240
# That's not how
you spell bee, see me
189
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,760
# Foot, reed, reed, easy
190
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,160
# Cat, pig, dog
Rat, duck, frog
191
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,160
# Make your spelling magnific
192
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,560
# You can go up and down
Left and right and around
193
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,160
# The punctuation
in hieroglyphic
194
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:05,120
# ABCDEFG,
just 700 characters or so
195
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:09,840
# Now that's done
let's have some fun
with numbers, here we go
196
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,320
# Everyone needs their 123
197
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,760
# It's as simple as
eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye
198
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,080
# You can all count to 99
199
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:21,920
# Easy to write, it's hoop,
hoop, hoop, hoop,
hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop
200
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:26,720
# Eye,
eye, eye, eye, eye, eye,
eye, eye, eye
201
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,360
# 123
# Eye, eye, eye, eye, eye
202
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,280
# 99
203
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:35,600
# Hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop,
hoop, eye, eye,
eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye
204
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:36,720
# Basket? #
205
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,600
[NARRATOR READING]
206
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,920
The answer is B.
207
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,760
They cut off and counted
the right hands.
208
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,400
[NARRATOR READING]
209
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,480
One of the worst battles
in the Second World War
210
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:13,320
was the one the Russians and
the Germans had over the city
of Stalingrad, here.
211
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,080
It lasted for seven months
212
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,880
and in the cruel Russian
winter, the Germans soon
ran out of supplies
213
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,520
and had to improvise
in the most gruesome of ways.
214
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:23,640
Ah!
215
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,880
Greetings, Herrsoldier.
216
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,560
Greetings, HerrStodman.
217
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,880
I'm here about a few supplies,
218
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,600
some new boots,
a jacket and some food.
219
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,960
Excellent. Well,
I shall take the whole lot.
220
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,040
No,
that is what I want from you.
221
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,520
What? [LAUGHS]
222
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:43,960
You are joking, right?
223
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,080
We have been
fighting here in Russia
for six months now,
224
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,040
we have run out of
all our supplies.
225
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,000
But I need new things,
my boots,
226
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,280
they have so many holes
in them, I don't feel like
I'm wearing any.
227
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,400
Well, you are not wearing any.
228
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,720
Oh,
well, that would explain it.
229
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,720
Um, is there nothing
that you can give me?
230
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,840
Well, I think you are in luck.
231
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,320
I got these boots
in this morning,
good quality, too,
232
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,560
-they're Russian.
-How do you know
they are Russian?
233
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,520
[GRUNTS]
234
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,200
There was a Russian in them.
235
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,000
I cannot wear those!
236
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,240
Of course you can, you just
put them in
the oven for 10 minutes
237
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,800
and the legs
will pop right out.
238
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,520
No,
I mean, I'm not going to wear
a dead man's boots.
239
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,800
Is there
nothing else you have?
Can you do me a jacket?
240
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,600
I am so cold I
have goose pimples
on my goose pimples.
241
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,480
Ah, I have just the thing.
242
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,080
We managed to get
this in from Berlin.
243
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,920
Oh, perfect.
244
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:39,200
Oh, that is better.
Oh, and it is not
off a dead man, right?
245
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,640
No, it is from a dead woman.
246
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:43,440
[EXCLAIMING] Brrr!
247
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,440
What about food,
do you have any food?
248
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:51,360
Ah, well, only this rather
suspiciously named meat paste.
249
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,480
I got it in from Germany.
250
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,600
What's it like?
251
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,200
Well, the impression I got
from Lieutenant Gottlieb was
252
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,720
-it's not very good for you.
-Who's Lieutenant Gottlieb?
253
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,560
This fellow over here.
254
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,360
[VING]
255
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:11,360
That is exactly
what Gottlieb did,
except from both ends.
256
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,520
So, all that you have
is inedible food,
a dead man's boots,
257
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,040
a dead woman's coat?
258
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,600
Is there nothing you have
that is any use to me?
259
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,800
Well,
as our 10,000th customer,
260
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,760
you have just won
an all-expenses-paid fortnight
261
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,160
on the beaches of Brazil.
262
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,680
Wow, really?
263
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,920
No. Raus!
264
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,160
[SOBBING] Can I not
work here with you?
265
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,200
No, I'm afraid
it is just me and Gottlieb.
266
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,160
[SOBBING]
267
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,320
Auf wiedersehen.
268
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:44,720
Look at it.
269
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,240
For the Germans,
the Battle of Stalingrad
270
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,120
was a tactical disaster.
271
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,880
Mind you,
some of the Russian tactics
during World War Two
272
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,560
didn't go all
that well, either.
273
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,560
[NARRATOR READING]
274
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,760
The Second World War's Russian
anti-tank device.
275
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,960
The penniless Russians
needed a cheap way
276
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,600
to destroy
the unbeatable German tanks.
277
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,240
-So they invented dog bombs.
-[DOG BARKING]
278
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,160
Yes, dogs were trained
to run underneath tanks
279
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,360
with bombs
strapped to their backs.
280
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,480
The Russians
sent their brilliant
new doggy weapon into battle,
281
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:25,000
but there was
one small problem.
282
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,080
The dogs had been trained
to run under Russian tanks.
283
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,920
[DOG BARKING]
284
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,760
RUSSIAN MAN: Nyet.
Bad doggy, stay, sit.
285
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,080
So they ran under
the Russian tanks.
286
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:36,240
MAN: Bad doggy!
287
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,520
Oh,
well, back to drawing board.
288
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:46,680
[NARRATOR READING]
289
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,200
Hi,
I'm a shouty Georgian woman
and I'm here to tell you
290
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:56,160
about the very latest
in Georgian mobile
communication technology,
291
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,080
the fan!
292
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,480
Each little gesture with
the fan sends out
a totally different message
293
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,520
and it's so simple to use.
294
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,320
And your parents
won't have a clue
what you're messaging.
295
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:10,040
Send thousands
of messages a day
and there's no bill to pay,
296
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,920
everybody should have one.
297
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,960
Except you,
because you're a bloke.
298
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,480
Yeah, terribly sorry.
299
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,560
It's also handy
for wafting away
foul smells.
300
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:19,720
Phew-wee!
301
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,600
Yeah, terribly sorry.
302
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,040
So don't delay,
buy your Georgian fan today.
303
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,840
MAN: Warning, too much
fan flattering can seriously
damage a lady's wrist.
304
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:30,280
Ow.
305
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,320
Are you quite well, daughter?
306
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,160
Oh, most well, Father.
307
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,400
Good day, Mr Willis.
308
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,360
Good day, Mr Andrews.
309
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,280
Surprisingly warm weather
for the time of year,
Mr Willis.
310
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,320
Indeed, Mr Andrews.
311
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:07,240
Yes! Yes, this is my
favourite composer.
312
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,720
Whoo!
313
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,960
It's the latest dance
from London town, Mr Willis.
314
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,840
I see, Mr Andrews.
315
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,520
-Soon.
-Sorry?
316
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:26,200
Spoon, I need a spoon.
317
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,120
Strange boy.
318
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,440
Sir, there is
a most pressing question
319
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,920
I would like to
ask your daughter.
320
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,440
[SOBBING]
321
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,360
Strange, strange boy.
322
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:08,280
We Georgian
ladies may have had
some funny customs,
323
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:12,680
but let me assure you,
Georgian gentlemen
were just as silly.
324
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:24,960
Hiya, fashion fans,
and welcome to another
Historical Fashion Fix.
325
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:29,560
This week it's all about wigs,
stockings and make-up,
326
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,960
you've guessed it.
327
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,040
This week we're
going to be making over
a Georgian man.
328
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,360
So let's meet him now.
329
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,920
-Hi, Daniel.
-All right?
330
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,720
Let's see if we can't work
some Fashion Fixmagic
331
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,960
and turn you into an authentic
Georgian aristocrat.
332
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,040
Right.
333
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,520
Let's sort out that skin.
334
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,680
-He's looking pretty pale.
-Haven't eaten in a week.
335
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,920
But he could do
with being a lot paler,
336
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,920
so I've stuck some
leeches on his arms.
337
00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,080
But he's still not pale enough
for a Georgian aristocrat,
338
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:04,000
so to make Daniel even whiter,
you could use chalk dust,
339
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,040
but I prefer to use
highly toxic lead paint.
340
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,960
Just add some
lipstick and blusher
and let's see the difference.
341
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,360
There, much more manly.
342
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,760
Do you like it, Daniel?
Course he does, he loves it.
343
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,240
Now, let's do something
about those awful clothes.
344
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,880
Well, at least I can't look
any more ridiculous.
345
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,240
I stand corrected.
346
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,680
Every bit the Georgian gent.
347
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,960
And that padding
really accentuates
Daniel's lovely calves.
348
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,240
What you doing?
349
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:44,120
Just time for
the finishing touches,
the wig.
350
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:49,040
The wig is held in
place using powder
made from flour, starch,
351
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,920
nutmeg and of course,
gold dust.
352
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:59,480
There, looking good,
but there's one thing missing.
353
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:03,480
No Georgian gent is complete
without some lice in his wig.
354
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,880
How do you like
your look, Daniel?
355
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,320
I look like
a poodle on a cushion.
356
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,400
Some people just can't wear
good clothes.
357
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,400
You have given me
nothing for this
programme, absolutely nothing.
358
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,640
That's it this
week from Fashion Fix,
359
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,920
join me next time
when I'll be teaching
a Stone Age caveman
360
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,560
that it's better to wear
some clothes for once.
361
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,560
See ya.
362
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:29,600
Posh Georgian men who
dressed up like that were
known as Macaronis.
363
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,360
Not sure why, presumably
because they looked better
covered in cheese.
364
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,200
[LAUGHS]
365
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,360
Mind you,
I think everything looks
better covered in cheese.
366
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,800
[NARRATOR READING]
367
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,360
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
368
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,080
# They're funny
'cause they're true, whoo!
369
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:52,840
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
370
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,120
# Hope next time it's not you
Hee-hee #
371
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,840
[SIGHING] Next!
372
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,600
And you are?
373
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,480
Sir Arthur Aston,
English army officer.
374
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,200
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
375
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,640
Yeah, yeah, course you are,
whatever,
come on, entertain me.
376
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,920
Well,
I was showing off on my horse
377
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,680
for the benefit of some
lovely young ladies.
378
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,400
-Hmm, and?
-Well, I, uh...
I fell off the horse,
379
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,680
I broke my leg,
it turned septic,
so I had to have it amputated.
380
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,120
And you bled to death.
381
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,480
-Oh, no, no, no, I was fine.
-Oh, shame.
382
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:31,120
You see, I was given this
rather wonderful wooden leg
383
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,000
and I was able to
return to the army,
384
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,600
and soon I found myself
in a battle against Oliver
Cromwell's army.
385
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,280
-Oh, good, how did it go?
-Not brilliantly.
386
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,440
I was captured
and,
well, I was beaten to death.
387
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,480
With my own wooden leg.
388
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,840
[SNICKERS]
389
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,960
[LAUGHING]
390
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,120
With your own...
Oh, that's hilarious.
391
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,240
Ooh, hey,
I bet you were hopping mad.
392
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,800
[LAUGHING] Hopping.
393
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,160
You're very insensitive,
you know that?
394
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,840
It's a yes from me, Arthur,
you're through
to the afterlife.
395
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,960
Oh, thank you, thank you.
396
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,400
Hop along, now. Hop along!
397
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:15,840
Very insensitive.
398
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:20,240
Oh, dear, yeah,
I love my job sometimes.
I do, I really do.
399
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,120
Next!
400
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,200
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
401
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:29,120
# Hope next time it's not you
Hoo-hoo #
402
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:33,560
We Stuarts believed that after
the Battle of
Edgehill in 1642,
403
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,120
the ghosts of the soldiers
who died could be seen
acting out the battle
404
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,920
again and again.
405
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,120
Oh!
406
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,440
And here's
another scary story.
407
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,040
[THUNDER CRASHING]
408
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,240
Greetings, fright fans.
409
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,680
I am Vincenzo Larfoff,
410
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,080
and this week's scary story
411
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:59,720
is a ghostly tale
from Stuart times,
The Terror of Tedworth!
412
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:05,400
It was the year 1662.
413
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,080
A magistrate
named John Mompesson
414
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,200
was visiting
the town of Tedworth
in Wiltshire,
415
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,680
where he was
disturbed by a local busker
repeatedly banging on a drum.
416
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,200
[DRUM BEATING]
417
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,080
Quiet! We're recording.
418
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,280
The magistrate checked
the man's licence to busk
419
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,720
and finding it
to be a forgery,
threw him in jail
420
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,640
and confiscated his drum,
a decision he
would come to regret.
421
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:29,760
[GONG DONGS]
422
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,680
Dong indeed.
423
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,600
After the busker
was freed from jail,
he simply disappeared,
424
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,800
and it soon became clear
that he must have perished
425
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,560
because his ghost
started to haunt
the mean magistrate.
426
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:42,760
[GHOSTLY MOAN]
427
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,280
Oh, no, it was much more than
a mere "whoo".
428
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:49,560
The spirit of the dead busker
plagued
the magistrate's house.
429
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,920
At first, his drum
began to bang itself.
430
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,200
Then doors would open and shut
on their own,
431
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,320
unseen creatures would gnaw
at the walls,
432
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,480
coins would turn
black inside pockets
433
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,240
and red, staring eyes
would appear in the darkness.
434
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,720
Had the busker's soul
come back from the dead
435
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,720
to wreak his revenge
on the meddling magistrate?
436
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:15,120
Was his ghost
destined to forever haunt
the horror-filled house?
437
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,960
No, he was alive and well
and living in...Gloucester?
438
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,600
What? I thought he was dead.
439
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,640
Ah, you see,
the drummer
wasn't dead at all.
440
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:31,960
He was found in Gloucester,
where he was arrested
for stealing a pig?
441
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,440
There was no ghost at all?
What is this, Scooby Doo?
442
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,880
You can't have a ghost story
where there's no ghost, right?
443
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,480
All that stuff
about a drum banging
itself, was that just made up?
444
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,400
All this does...
It just makes me look silly.
445
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,600
I mean,
I didn't spend two weeks
at drama school summer camp
446
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,720
to end up doing
this sort of rubbish.
447
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,200
Unbelievable.
448
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:59,240
[NARRATOR READING]
449
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,960
One of our most
famous Roman generals
was called Julius Caesar.
450
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:08,440
He went all the way
to the top, but what goes up
must come down.
451
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,440
MAN: Don't miss this week's
News of the Empire exclusive.
452
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,920
It's our Caesar Special.
453
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,960
He defeated
the Gauls in France
and invaded Britain.
454
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,720
I came,
I saw, I conquered, I...
455
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,240
I caught a cold.
456
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,440
The weather was terrible,
so I came home again.
457
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,240
[SNEEZES]
458
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,400
MAN:
Now, Rome's greatest general
has gone from hero to zero.
459
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,920
Yes, JC's
reputation is in meltdown
460
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,000
because he started going out
with the Queen of Egypt.
461
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,080
Has Cleopatra
really stolen his heart?
462
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:42,160
So what if she has?
My wife won't mind.
463
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,160
MAN: We reveal the truth
behind the rumours.
464
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,800
Has Cleo really
had Caesar's baby?
465
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,120
Well, here's a clue,
he's called Caesarean.
466
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,080
He has got my nose, I suppose.
[CHUCKLES]
467
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:53,280
[BABY CRYING]
468
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,560
Oh, there,
there, it's not that big.
469
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,760
All right.
470
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,880
MAN:
Plus, it's a fashion faux pas
as Caesar is spotted
471
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:06,200
wearing these red boots,
just like
the last King of Rome.
472
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,640
We ask,
is Caesar getting too big
for his own boots?
473
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,200
I just like the colour,
it doesn't mean
to say I want to be King.
474
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,840
What? Okay,
so I have declared myself
dictator for life but...
475
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,880
MAN: And exclusive,
the knives are out for Caesar
476
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,880
in our
assassination pullout special,
477
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,560
we list the Senators plotting
to stab him in the back.
478
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,080
Wait a minute,
who wants to kill me?
479
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:28,800
MAN: Find out tomorrow.
480
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,320
What, no, no, no, seriously,
who wants to kill me?
481
00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:33,680
MAN: Only in this week's
News of the Empire,
482
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,760
a cracking good read,
although it is all in Latin.
483
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:41,360
It's true, Caesar started
wearing red leather boots
484
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,320
just like
the ancient Roman kings
485
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:46,120
and they were hated
by the people of Rome.
486
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:50,000
The last one,
Tarquinius Superbus,
had been so evil
487
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,600
they got rid of
kings altogether.
488
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,840
[LAUGHS]
489
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,760
Hey!
Good name, though, Superbus.
490
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:59,400
Rattus Superbus.
I rather like that, suits me.
491
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:03,280
Anyway, Caesar
really put his foot in it
and ended up,
492
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,440
well, getting assassinated.
493
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,920
Hello, and welcome to another
Crimewatch BC.
494
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,960
Now, we start this
week with a murder
495
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,600
which took place
right in the centre
of ancient Rome.
496
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:24,160
The victim was this man,
Julius Caesar,
a soldier and politician
497
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,640
who was recently made
dictator of Rome for life.
498
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,880
It seems Mr
Caesar may have known
he was a possible target.
499
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,640
On the morning that my husband
Caesar was murdered,
500
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:39,040
I had warned him not to go to
the Senate,
all the omens were bad,
501
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,560
they were really bad.
502
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,880
Don't go, Caesar.
I don't want you to go.
503
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,160
A few weeks ago,
a bird flew into
the Senate House
504
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,800
-with a laurel
leaf in its beak.
-So what?
505
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,880
Well, it's a warning.
506
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,240
What,
a warning that it might poo
on someone's head?
507
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,560
No, it's a warning that
someone's going to get killed,
508
00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:00,040
someone wearing a crown
of laurel
leaves on their head.
509
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,360
What? That is just
superstitious nonsense.
510
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:03,840
Look, I don't want you to go.
511
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,120
I've got a feeling something
really bad is going to happen.
512
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:08,760
Oh, yeah, maybe you're right,
513
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,920
maybe something really,
really bad
is going to happen, yes.
514
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,560
-Oh, look.
-[CLATTERING]
515
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,000
It just did. [LAUGHS]
516
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,440
Brilliant. See you later.
517
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,920
Caesar ignored the bad omens
and went to
the Senate House anyway.
518
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:27,000
He was murdered there
in broad daylight
on the 15th of March.
519
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,600
Take that, Caesar.
520
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,240
Ow, that's me you're stabbing!
521
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,360
Well, I don't know,
all I can see is togas.
522
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,080
-Ow, you did it again!
-Sorry.
523
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:37,760
I have with me in the studio
524
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,600
a man who saw
the whole thing happen.
525
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,360
So why do you think
so many people stabbed Caesar?
526
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,760
Well,
I think the murderers thought
if lots of them stabbed him
527
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,440
it would be
everyone's responsibility,
528
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:49,680
you know,
we'd all be in it together.
529
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,040
Uh, sorry, they,
they'd all be in it together.
530
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,400
Any idea why they did it?
531
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,600
Well,
I'm told because they thought
Caesar had too much power
532
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,720
and wanted to be a king
so Caesar had to die!
533
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,680
Well, that's what some people
thought, anyway.
534
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,280
Oh, must remember
to do the washing-up.
535
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,480
Also with me in the studio
is the man leading the hunt
536
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,280
for Caesar's murderers,
Senator Mark Antony.
537
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,400
Now, Senator, what do we know
about the murderers?
538
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:21,360
Well,
Kirsty, one thing we do know
is their identities.
539
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,160
There's Casca and Kimber
and there's the ringleaders,
540
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,320
Brutus and Cassius.
541
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:28,760
So, you know who
did it, what next?
542
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,880
Well, we'd very much like to
speak to them,
just a little chat,
543
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,760
to see if they can assist us
in our enquiries.
544
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,800
-Really?
-No, we want to kill them
545
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,080
and burn down their houses
but I don't want to
say that in public,
546
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:42,040
just in case they run away.
547
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:43,800
See ya.
548
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,480
Me and my big mouth.
I should
probably run after him.
549
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:48,560
Good.
550
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,600
# Tall tales, atrocious acts
We gave you all
the fearsome facts
551
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,440
# The ugly truth, no glam
or glitz We showed you
all the juicy bits
552
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,160
# Gory,
ghastly, mean and cruel
553
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,840
# Stuff they don't
teach you at school
554
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,680
# The past is no
longer a mystery
555
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:09,720
# Hope you enjoyed
Horrible Histories #
44204
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