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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,680 # Terrible Tudors, Gorgeous Georgians 2 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,080 # Slimy Stuarts, Vile Victorians 3 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:10,280 # Woeful wars, Ferocious fights 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,000 # Dingy castles, Daring knights 5 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,080 # Horrors that defy description # Cut-throat Celts 6 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,760 # Awful Egyptians # Vicious Vikings 7 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,120 # Cruel crime, # Punishments from ancient times 8 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,520 # Roman, rotten # Rank and ruthless 9 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,040 # Cavemen savage Fierce and toothless 10 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,560 # Groovy Greeks, Brainy sages 11 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:25,360 # Mean and measly Middle Ages # Gory stories we do that 12 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,120 # And your host a talking rat 13 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,880 # The past is no longer a mystery 14 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,960 # Welcome to Horrible Histories # 15 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:40,480 [MAN READING] 16 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,160 During the Georgian era, 17 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,760 the British had a great naval commander, 18 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,200 the legendary Lord Horatio Nelson. 19 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,840 Wow! The Victory. 20 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,520 Me serving under Lord Nelson on his own flagship. 21 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,920 I can't wait to meet Britain's greatest ever naval hero. 22 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,840 Well, you won't have to wait long because he's coming now. 23 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,640 Look out, I'm going to be sick. 24 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,200 [VING] 25 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,920 Ah, sorry about that, 26 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,840 I suffer terribly from seasickness. 27 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,560 Ned Harris, sir. 28 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,680 May I say what a pleasure it is to serve aboard the Victory? 29 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:17,760 Would you do me the honour 30 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,360 of letting me shake you by the hand? 31 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,040 Don't worry, happens all the time. 32 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,560 Got hit in the right arm by a bullet, 33 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,200 had to have it hacked off by a saw. 34 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,040 Didn't see it coming, of course, 35 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,920 because I had something in my eye, a large piece of shrapnel. 36 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,200 Can't see out of the blessed thing now. [CHUCKLES] 37 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,440 And how did you lose your legs? 38 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:33,640 What? 39 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,760 Your legs seem to be cut off at the knee. 40 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,440 No, he really is that short. 41 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,480 Oh, dear, a bit embarrassing. 42 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,680 I'm a great admirer of all your work. 43 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,880 The Battle of the Nile, The Battle of Copenhagen. 44 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,400 [VS] 45 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,000 What? This is ridiculous. 46 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,960 He's supposed to be Britain's greatest ever naval hero, 47 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,120 and he's half blind, one-armed and he gets seasick. 48 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,120 He may not be much to look at, granted, 49 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,320 but he is a genius at sea battles and very popular with the men, 50 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,400 even though he is a stickler for discipline. 51 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,040 Sailor, have you seen the state of your shoes? 52 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,960 I expect all the men on my ship to be decently turned out. 53 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,760 -But you just... -Get them cleaned up, man. 54 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,320 They're an absolute disgrace. 55 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,240 Honestly, you can't get the sailors nowadays... 56 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,280 Excuse me. 57 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,040 [VS] 58 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,760 Ha! Lord Nelson wasn't just a lord, 59 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,240 he was also a viscount, a duke and a baron, 60 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,520 the commander in chief of His Majesty's ships 61 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,200 and a Knight of the Order of the Bath. 62 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,080 I was almost knighted by the queen once. 63 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,640 Well, she spotted me in the palace kitchens 64 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:37,760 and chucked a sword at me. 65 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,440 [LAUGHS] 66 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:42,560 Yes, there really were some unlikely Georgian heroes. 67 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,480 Hello and welcome to the News at When. 68 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,720 When? 1724, 69 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,280 when a third of London's population turned out 70 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,720 to see Britain's most famous criminal. 71 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,600 To find out more, let's go over live 72 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:01,320 to Jessica Harvey Smythe 73 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,960 who's soaking up the atmosphere. 74 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,040 Thanks, Sam. 75 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,840 As you can see, thousands of people have turned up 76 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:12,080 just to catch a glimpse of their hero, Jack Sheppard, 77 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,640 perhaps one of London's most glamorous criminals. 78 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:18,360 He's escaped from prison not once, not twice, but four times. 79 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,080 And these people clearly love him for it. 80 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,560 Jack Sheppard is well loved. 81 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,160 Yeah, he's like such a rebel and he's so daring. 82 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,800 So, how long have you been a fan? 83 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,600 Oh, like, since his first escape. 84 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,280 He was being held in St. Giles Roundhouse 85 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,520 and he broke out through the roof. 86 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,240 Yeah, um, he lowered himself to the ground 87 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,680 using bed sheets tied together. It was well wicked. 88 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,880 Yeah, and I really liked it when he escaped from Newgate Prison 89 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,280 dressed in ladies clothes. 90 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,600 Yeah, that was so awesome. 91 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,200 Oh, there he is! There he is! 92 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:43,840 JESSICA: Let's try to get an interview with the man himself. 93 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,080 Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack, 94 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,600 Jack, HHTV News, 95 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,640 um, could we have a few words? 96 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,880 'Course you can. Nice to meet you. 97 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:55,080 Ooh. Well, um, 300,000 Georgians have turned up 98 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,520 just to catch a glimpse of you, Jack. 99 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,720 That's one quarter of London's population. 100 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,040 Are you nervous? 101 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,760 A few butterflies. It's not every day you're executed. 102 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,600 Well, when you say "executed" 103 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,400 I'm sure you're planning to make 104 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,160 one of your trademark daring escapes. 105 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,000 Ooh, you know me so well. 106 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,400 I do have a trick up my sleeve actually. 107 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,200 It's a penknife. 108 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,360 -Oh, brilliant. -And I'm going to use it... 109 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:17,440 I'll have that. 110 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,360 [CROWD GROANING] This way, sonny. 111 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:20,920 JACK: I'll think of something. 112 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,560 Jack Sheppard, there. 113 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,920 Can't wait to see how he's going to get out of this one. 114 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,080 And the crowd are going to go absolutely wild, 115 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,280 and Jack is getting up on the scaffold now 116 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,600 and he's putting his head in the noose. 117 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,680 I'm sure he's about to make his move any time now. 118 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,600 And the hangman is about to open the trapdoor, 119 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,920 he should be escaping any second. 120 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,680 [TRAPDOOR OPENS] [CROWD GASPS] 121 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:49,320 Still, always nice to see a good public execution. 122 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,920 Great day out for all the family. 123 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,960 [MAN READING] 124 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,560 Ow! 125 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,800 Oh, dear. Leg still causing you pain? 126 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,080 No. I make these noises when I'm happy. 127 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,680 No need to be like that, the doctors are on their way, 128 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,320 and today they're from the 129 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,560 uh, Middle Ages. 130 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,840 Oh, terrific! 131 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,360 I am Doctor Usmal. 132 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,200 Yes, and he's an Arabian healer from the 1100s. 133 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,520 Oh, that is a nasty looking abscess. 134 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,800 No, no, it's fine, honestly. I'm feeling a lot better. 135 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,040 It doesn't hurt? 136 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,240 Ow! 137 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,800 Yeah, well just a tiny bit. 138 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,560 This dressing prepared from healing herbs 139 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,400 will soon reduce that swelling. 140 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,760 Herbs? Leave it out, I don't... 141 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,200 Actually that feels rather soothing. Thank you, Doctor. 142 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,680 My pleasure. Next patient please, nurse. 143 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:50,920 Yes, just this way. 144 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,760 Wow! It really worked. 145 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,760 Sorry I'm late. Doctor Nutpeck here. 146 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,320 Crusader Doctor from the Middle Ages. 147 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,400 What appears to be the problem? 148 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,560 It's all right. I've just been seen by the Arabian healer. 149 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,760 That primitive fool! Ugh! 150 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,760 What you need is some proper European Crusader medicine. 151 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,080 Actually it feels a lot better. 152 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,920 Nonsense! We must cut off this leg. 153 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,840 -What! -Bite down on this. 154 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,400 Help! 155 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:18,920 Yes, amputation is a cure 156 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:22,200 for all European Crusaders. 157 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,920 What are you doing? Stop it! [THUDS] 158 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,160 There, doesn't that feel better already? 159 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,720 Where's next patient? 160 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,000 So, you are feeling a little lightheaded? 161 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,720 Thanks, but I've tried every treatment going. 162 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,800 I hardly think some Arabian cure 163 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,080 from the Middle Ages is likely to help. 164 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,240 Well, we will see. Could you please chew on this? 165 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,880 What's this? Some sort of magic leaf? 166 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,160 No, it is just good healthy food. 167 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:51,320 Arabian healers have known for a long time that a healthy balanced diet 168 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:54,320 can be very beneficial in cases such as yours. 169 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,960 Mmm, my goodness, I feel better already. 170 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,160 Well, stay on the diet and soon you will be well. 171 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,760 So, poor female lady woman, what seems to be the problem? 172 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,800 Don't worry, Doctor Nutburger, I have put her on a diet 173 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,040 and she will be very well in no time at all. 174 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,000 A diet? You crazy Arabian hippy. 175 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,320 Us European doctors know there is 176 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,800 only way to cure this condition. 177 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,160 Bite down on this. 178 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,240 We must remove the top of the patients head 179 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,440 and wash out the brain with salt. 180 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:23,840 Get off her! 181 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:27,080 No! [GRUNTS] I banged my head. 182 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,960 I feel a little lightheaded. 183 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,720 So, you feel a little lightheaded. 184 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:35,040 Well, then perhaps we should apply one of your Crusader cures 185 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,960 and cut your head off! 186 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,920 No, that won't be necessary. 187 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:42,920 Perhaps we can try one of your nice Arabian herbal remedies. 188 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,760 No! Bite down on this. 189 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,520 [MUFFLED SHOUTS] 190 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,400 [LAUGHS] 191 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:54,000 Yes, European doctors thought they were better than Arab doctors 192 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,760 in the Middle Ages, but they were wrong. 193 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,880 Mind you, even Arabian medicine 194 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,280 couldn't have done much to save this fella. 195 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:08,240 # Stupid deaths, stupid deaths They're funny because they're true 196 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,080 # Boo! Stupid deaths, stupid deaths 197 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,680 # Hope next time it's not you Hee hee # 198 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,080 [SIGHS] Next! 199 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,240 And you are? 200 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,320 Humphrey de Bohun, 201 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,680 leader of the rebel army. 202 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,840 And how did you die? With great stupidity I hope. 203 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,120 Well, I was leading a rebellion against King Edward II. 204 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,520 My army was fighting his at the battle of Barrow Bridge. 205 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,000 Not stupid enough. 206 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,320 I was leading my troops across the wooden bridge. 207 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,240 The enemy was defending it fiercely. 208 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,520 Almost sensible. 209 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,680 I decided to charge them head on 210 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,920 and I was killing everything in my path. 211 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,400 Battling them to the right, fighting them to the left of me. 212 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,440 [YAWNING] You're losing me, pal. 213 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,840 Then suddenly I felt a terrible agony in my, um, 214 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,960 in my bottom. 215 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,720 [LAUGHS] Oh, joy! 216 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,640 Yes, an enemy soldier had hidden himself 217 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,400 under the bridge and he'd shoved a pike 218 00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,560 right in my bottom. 219 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,160 Look, there it is. 220 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:07,080 Ooh, hey, that must have been a real pain in the neck. 221 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,520 Don't you mean pain in the backside? 222 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,560 -That's what I said, wasn't it? -No you said pain in the neck. 223 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,800 No, I said pain in the backside. 224 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:14,960 I think it would've been funnier 225 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,440 if you'd said pain in the backside. 226 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,880 Well, it was funny because... 227 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,600 -I did whatever, pal! -Right. 228 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,680 You're through to the afterlife. Off you trot. 229 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:22,840 Thank you. 230 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:26,880 [LAUGHS] Ooh, hey, he got a real bum deal. 231 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:28,360 [LAUGHS] 232 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,680 Ooh, I should've said that when he was in the room. 233 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,240 Hey, you, you got a bum... Oh, he's gone. 234 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,400 Why do you always think of things too late? Nevermind. 235 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,880 Next! 236 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,160 # Stupid deaths, stupid deaths 237 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,160 # Hope next time it's not you Hoo hoo # 238 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,840 [MAN READING] 239 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,040 [NARRATOR READING] 240 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,640 The answer is 241 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,360 all three. 242 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,160 Dressed in a red shirt and earrings, a drunk white lama 243 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,000 would be sent into a temple to kick over pots of chicha beer. 244 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,120 And that's not the only bizarre Incan custom. 245 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,360 And remember, 246 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,840 these authentic Incan drums are made from genuine human skin. 247 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,600 So you can go on beating your enemy all day long. 248 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,720 And annoying your neighbour all night. 249 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,280 And it won't cost you any money. 250 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,480 That's because we Incans swap goods. 251 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:41,200 Swapping what we don't need for what we do need. 252 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,800 And now time for this hour's special item. 253 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,200 It's the very latest in Inca technology. 254 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,600 And here it is. 255 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,960 An all in one wool grower, jewellery maker, 256 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,000 fortune teller and barbecue. 257 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,400 And there was me thinking it was just an ordinary llama. 258 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,480 It is an ordinary llama, silly. 259 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,840 But you'll be amazed at the things you can do with it. 260 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,400 Well, I know you can eat it 261 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,280 and I know you can sacrifice it for special occasions, 262 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,040 our priests get through hundreds 263 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,800 of these at weddings, don't they? 264 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,520 Well, sacrifices really are just the tip of the llama. 265 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,920 For a start, you could use its wool to make clothes. 266 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,680 I suppose that's what you call a llama pyjama. 267 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,480 [LAUGHS] 268 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,880 Or why not wear a llama on your armour, 269 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,880 with these authentic Incan bracelets 270 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,520 made from llama toenail clippings. 271 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,200 Mmm, your arm smells really cheesy. 272 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,200 Thank you. 273 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,480 And what else can you use a llama for? 274 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,840 Well, believe it or not, llamas can help you tell the future. 275 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,000 No! 276 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,080 Is there anything you'd like to know? 277 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,080 Well, well, yes, there is actually. 278 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,840 Do, do I just ask the llama? 279 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,520 Uh, no silly, you have to kill the llama, 280 00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,840 remove it's lungs and then blow them up. 281 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,800 And here's some I inflated earlier. 282 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,880 The veins will help you reveal the answer to your question. 283 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,720 Yes! It says yes! 284 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,680 Hang on, hang on. You didn't tell me what the question was. 285 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,240 Will you marry me? 286 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,440 What? Give me those lungs. 287 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,200 That can't be right. Is that a yes? 288 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,600 Definitely. I guess we'll have to sacrifice a few more llamas. 289 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,880 Shut up! 290 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,800 We Incans really did use llamas for all those things, 291 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,600 so we needed loads of them. 292 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,720 Hi, I'm a Incan priest. 293 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,640 I dress well, I work hard and I get through a lot of llamas. 294 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:27,640 I sacrifice a hundred llamas at the beginning of every month. 295 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,040 [SINGING] 296 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:34,960 I'm an Incan emperor 297 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,560 and tomorrow I go into battle with one of the jungle tribes. 298 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,960 So I wondered, if you would do a sacrifice for me? 299 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,440 Oh, boy! There goes another thousand llamas. 300 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,280 [SINGING] 301 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,440 As you can imagine, getting through 302 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,400 llamas this fast means I soon run out. 303 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,920 That's why I buy my llamas from a llama farmer. 304 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,640 [SINGING] 305 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,040 Honey, I think it's time we got married. 306 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,040 Oh, no! An emperor's wedding. 307 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,560 There goes another couple of thousand llamas. 308 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:09,600 [SINGING] 309 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,720 Shut up! 310 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,840 [MAN READING] 311 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,120 Greetings my groupies of gore. 312 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,400 I am Vincenzo Laughoff 313 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:32,920 and this week's scary story is from the Victorian times. 314 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,320 The Cabinet of Mystery. 315 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:42,040 The year was 1871, a date that crackles with creepiness. 316 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:45,800 When Florence Cook, a girl of exactly your age, 317 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,960 providing you are 15, 318 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,240 began to communicate with people from another world, 319 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,720 the world of the dead! 320 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,040 [SILENCE] 321 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,360 Soon her unique... [THUNDER CLAPS] 322 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,760 Right, the thunderclap needs to come when I say "world of the dead" 323 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,680 or not all, okay? 324 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,640 Soon her unique gift made Florence the toast of Victorian society 325 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,520 and she would host creepy meetings 326 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:14,520 in which she would summon up ghosts and spirits. 327 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,200 [GHOSTLY MOANS] 328 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:19,680 Oh, yes, very much ooh. 329 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,280 In these meetings known as seances, 330 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,280 Florence, dressed in a sombre black dress, 331 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:28,800 would step inside a mysterious cabinet, just like this one. 332 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:34,240 Uh, but much, much bigger and a different shape. 333 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:38,680 But she would step inside this cabinet and be tied to a chair within. 334 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,800 The door would be shut, the lights would be dimmed 335 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,640 and the seance would begin! 336 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,600 [THUNDER CLAPS] 337 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,480 Much better. 338 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,400 As Florence sat inside the cabinet 339 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,400 making contact with the spirit world, 340 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:54,280 a white ghostly figure would suddenly appear in the room 341 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,520 and then one day, in the middle of a seance, 342 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,760 Sir George Sitwell, a noted aristocrat and politician, 343 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,000 did the unthinkable. 344 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,960 Ignoring the rules of the spirit world 345 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,880 and with no regard for his own safety, 346 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,680 he reached out to grab the ghostly 347 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,520 figure as she floated past him. 348 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,880 Would he find himself drawn back into the spirit world with her 349 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,480 or would the angry ghost turn on her tormentor, 350 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,640 haunting him until his dying day? 351 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,160 Neither! What he found in the grasp of 352 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,720 his hand was even more disturbing! 353 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,240 An angry woman in her underwear... 354 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,480 What? 355 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,880 The ghost was just a woman in her nightie 356 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,960 with a sheet on her head. 357 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,680 When they opened the cabinet, Florence was missing, 358 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,000 so they turned the lights on, found that the woman in her nightie 359 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,680 was just Florence without her dress on, 360 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,160 so the whole ghost thing was a massive con. 361 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,640 Right, what does this say? 362 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,280 "Scary Stories." Scary. 363 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,800 Okay? Not pointless stories. Not annoying stories. 364 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,200 I don't want to do a show called Boring Stories. 365 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,680 I did that last year for the other channel 366 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,680 and, frankly, it sunk like a stone. 367 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,440 Okay? So when I come back, I want 368 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,080 another ghost story and this time 369 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,120 I want a ghost in it. I'm going to the canteen. 370 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,880 And there better be cake. 371 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,360 There were plenty of charlatans and con artists 372 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,520 like that in Victorian times. 373 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,480 Even in the field of medicine. Good day. 374 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:19,040 Roll up! Roll up! Do you have tummy trouble? 375 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,280 Do you have a two foot tapeworm living in your stomach? 376 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:27,720 Then what you need is this most excellent tapeworm trap. 377 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,080 It's just like fishing, only the worms 378 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,640 aren't the bait, they're the catch. 379 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,720 I once caught a tapeworm this long. 380 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,560 [GROANS IN DISGUST] 381 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,720 You simply load the food into the trap and hey presto! Away we go. 382 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,600 Now, how about a demonstration? 383 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,520 Uh, you, sir. 384 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,200 You look like you have a tapeworm. 385 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,080 Well, yes, I does. 386 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,600 Then simply open wide, 387 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:55,760 in with the tapeworm trap, like so. 388 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,080 [GAGGING] 389 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,480 He's dead. 390 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,440 He's choked on your stupid trap. 391 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,760 Yes, but now he's dead he can't eat, 392 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,440 and without food the tapeworm will die. 393 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,760 -So the trap works? -He's cured. 394 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,920 Oh, well, I'll take one. 395 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,040 Me, too! 396 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,120 Excellent. Come! 397 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,480 [NARRATOR READING] 398 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,120 The answer is 399 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,400 A. The hot potato would be tied to your head with a scarf 400 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,280 so that it stayed next to your ear. 401 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:52,040 In Victorian times people really did have some very odd ideas 402 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,040 about how to stay healthy. 403 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,960 Greetings! Are you fed up with vile, stinking Victorian water? 404 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,240 Does it make you feel really sick? [GROANS IN DISGUST] 405 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,960 Then why not try the new healthy alternative, 406 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,360 Victorian beer! Mmm. 407 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,680 There, I feel better already. 408 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,800 Here's Doctor John Snow to tell us more. 409 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,800 Hello, I'm Doctor John Snow. 410 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,280 I've proved that the Victorian water supply is full of germs 411 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,480 and is spreading cholera throughout Britain. 412 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,600 It's vitally important that nobody drinks the water, 413 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,480 not until we've cleaned up the supply. 414 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:36,400 And that's why Doctor John Snow drinks Victorian Beer. 415 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,360 No, I don't touch the stuff. 416 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,840 I don't agree with it, on religious grounds. 417 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,520 -Really? -Mmm. 418 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,040 Victorian Beer is made with all natural ingredients, 419 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,960 like barley, yeast and hops, 420 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,800 and what's more, it's packed with vitamins. Mmm. 421 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,240 It tastes much healthier than water 422 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,120 and it's not infected with all those nasty little diseasy thingys. 423 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,080 Can I have another one please? [HICCUPS] 424 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,400 Work hard, play hard, drink hard 425 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,200 and fall over. 426 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,200 MAN: Warning, beer contains alcohol 427 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,120 which will impair your ability to speak 428 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,760 or even stand up. 429 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,640 That's not true. That's... 430 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,080 And can also be fatal if you drink too much. 431 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,400 I love you, man. 432 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:21,880 [SNORING] 433 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,240 [MAN READING] 434 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,240 Welcome back to HHTV Sport, 435 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,000 today bringing you exclusive live sporting events 436 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,120 from the time of the Greek legends. 437 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,680 We're at the Trojan Wars for the big fight. 438 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,680 Paris, Prince of Troy, versus the Greek leader, Menelaus. 439 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,680 So let's join our on the spot commentary team. 440 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,320 You join me outside the walls of Troy. 441 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:53,760 I'm here with the challenger. 442 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,560 You seem pretty relaxed, Menelaus. 443 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,280 Um, are you confident about today? 444 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,240 I is gonna reign supreme, innit? 445 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,040 How can you be so confident? 446 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,280 Because I ain't doing the fighting. I tagged my man Achilles here. 447 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,200 He's immortal. Wicked, isn't it? 448 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,760 Don't you think there could be an upset at all? 449 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,560 You ain't listening to me, you flannel, 450 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,280 my man Achilles was made immortal 451 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,480 when his mum dunked him in the river of the dead, 452 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,120 he cannot be killed. 453 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,320 We're going to rip it up... 454 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,480 Uh, boss, 455 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,200 I'm not completely immortal. [SHUSHING] 456 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,400 Mum was holding my by the heel when she dunked me, 457 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,520 so that bit's not quite as immortal as the rest of me. 458 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,000 You just told the man from the telly 459 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,640 about your weak spot. Nice one! 460 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,240 So there you have it. Enormous confidence from the Greek camp. 461 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,960 Let's go over and see how things are looking 462 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,440 in the opposition camp behind the walls of Troy. Gary? 463 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,040 Cheers, John. So, Paris, looking forward to the big fight? 464 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,880 No way, man, I is scared, yeah? He is immortal. 465 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,000 Do you understand me? You do it man. I is so scared. You do it. 466 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,640 For goodness sake! 467 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,000 So, uh, looks like his warrior brother, Hector, 468 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,240 is going to have to stand in for him. Excitement! 469 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,120 JOHN: So it's Hector, the boy from Troy, 470 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:57,000 versus the gods' favourite, the immortal Achilles, the Greek hero. 471 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,640 Who do you think's going to win this one, Gary? 472 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,480 Uh, Achilles, he's immortal. 473 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,600 Fair enough. 474 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,480 And the big fight is up. 475 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,520 But what's this? Hector's running away, with Achilles in pursuit. 476 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:14,880 That's once round the city, twice, three times round the city, Gary. 477 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,840 Well, great attack from Hector there, 478 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,960 but kind of pointless because Achilles is, 479 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,640 and stop me if you've heard this before, immortal. 480 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,240 Oh, and, uh, clearly Hector isn't, uh... 481 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,760 Yeah, it's game over. 482 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,360 And Menelaus clearly thrilled with the result there... Ooh, 483 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,880 but what, what's this? Paris is up on the ramparts 484 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,240 with a bow and arrow and he shoots, he scores! 485 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,560 JOHN: And that's a fantastic shot from Paris 486 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,160 and who'd have thought that Achilles' 487 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,840 Achilles heel would be his Achilles heel? 488 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,080 Kind of obvious when you think about it. 489 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,200 Back to the studio. 490 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,080 We get the expression "your Achilles heel" 491 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:52,000 from the story of Troy. 492 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:56,640 It means, however strong you are you've always got a weak spot. 493 00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:00,840 Even elephants have an Achilles heel, as the Greeks found out. 494 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,440 [NARRATOR READING] 495 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,800 In ancient times, King Pyrrhus of Greece 496 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:12,080 went to battle with the Romans and brought with him a secret weapon, 497 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:13,480 elephants. 498 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,960 Elephants, charge! 499 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,360 [ELEPHANT TRUMPETING] 500 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,480 Greek war elephants were brilliant 501 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,480 because once they started charging 502 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,600 they didn't stop, and trampled anything in their way, 503 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,320 particularly the enemy troops. 504 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:27,840 [YELLING] [ELEPHANT TRUMPETING] 505 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,040 It was brilliant 506 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,360 but unfortunately there was one small problem, 507 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,280 elephants are scared of fire and pigs. 508 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,520 So the Romans set fire to some pigs. 509 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,040 [PIG SQUEALS] 510 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,480 And sent them charging at the charging elephants. 511 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,080 [PIG SQUEALING] 512 00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:47,520 [ELEPHANT TRUMPETING] 513 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,160 [SOLDIER YELLING] 514 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,280 Making King Pyrrhus really wish... 515 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,800 [PYRRHUS YELLS] 516 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,440 ...he'd left his secret weapon at home. 517 00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,720 [CHUCKLING] 518 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,960 [MAN READING] 519 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,320 The British Prime Minister during 520 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:09,200 World War II was Winston Churchill. 521 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,920 He was an inspirational leader who liked to work hard, 522 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,040 very, very hard indeed. 523 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,440 [MUMBLING] 524 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,600 Yes. So that is the plan for the D-Day landings. 525 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:26,000 Grand in scale, audacious in nature. 526 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,400 What say you, General... 527 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,120 General! 528 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,800 Ah, what? Where? Man the guns. 529 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,600 [EXCLAIMS] Hmm! 530 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,840 General, have you been listening to a word I've been saying? 531 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,680 I'm sorry, Prime Minister, no. 532 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,840 Well, at least Pamela will have gotten it down. 533 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:43,960 [SNORING] 534 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,400 Pamela! 535 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,640 Sorry, Prime Minister, I must have dropped off for a minute. 536 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,680 Right, well, I was just telling the General... 537 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,440 General! [EXCLAIMS] 538 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,360 Uh, I'm sorry PM, it's just we've been up till gone 4:00 539 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,840 nearly every night this week. 540 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,400 Some of us need to sleep. 541 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,320 We can't all work the hours you do, Prime Minister. 542 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:07,960 How can we sleep when we need to plan the D-Day landings? 543 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,880 The greatest single day waterborne invasion of all time. 544 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,680 But you never stop, sir. 545 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,440 I mean you even take work with you into the toilet. 546 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:17,720 How do you keep it up? 547 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,280 Cigars and champagne, my boy. 548 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,640 Can I possibly borrow a couple of matches? 549 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,360 Be my guest, Pamela. 550 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,280 Here, try some champers. 551 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,000 Should wake you up a bit. 552 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,800 Thank you, sir. Cheers. 553 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,080 So, D-Day. 554 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:42,760 A fleet of 5,000 vessels will transport 160,000 troops, 555 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,920 landing across a 50 mile stretch of the Normandy coastline 556 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:51,720 and there we will begin the long, hard push to Berlin, 557 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,400 Hitler and victory. 558 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,880 [BOTH SNORING] 559 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:03,880 [LOUD POP] [BOTH EXCLAIM] 560 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,760 With all due respect, sir, that's not funny, there is a war on. 561 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,520 Very well, maybe it is time I went to bed. 562 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,680 Oh. At last. 563 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,320 Yes. 564 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:17,480 But don't worry, I've had a desk specially made to fit over it, 565 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,880 so we can continue this meeting in our jim-jams. 566 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:23,720 General, bring the map. 567 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,760 Forty winks. I just really must get my head down, you know. 568 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:33,440 Won't be long, just... [MUMBLING] 569 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,960 Ow! Wake up. 570 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,200 [SNORES] 571 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,640 [EXCLAIMS] I'm awake, I'm awake, I'm awake! 572 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,960 Yes, it's true. Churchill really did 573 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,200 have a desk built to fit over his bed 574 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,480 so he could carry on working at night. 575 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:49,160 Churchill inspired everyone in Britain to get behind the war effort 576 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,280 and it meant women's lives changed forever. 577 00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,520 # We're girlies from the '30s 578 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,040 # Wash the dishes, scrub the floor 579 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:07,880 # When all of a sudden Our hubbies went to war 580 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:12,320 # Did you think we'd shrink In England's needy hour? 581 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,640 You what? 582 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:14,920 'Course not. 583 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,600 # Because we got girl power 584 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,240 # Our men are fighting World War II 585 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,880 # But we're not gonna boo hoo hoo 586 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,600 # It's our World War II, too, girls 587 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,040 # Plenty we can do, girls 588 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,160 # We're the World War II, girls 589 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,400 # Our war begins right here 590 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:39,320 # I make weapons in the factory 591 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:41,640 # Drill and bolt an screw 592 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,440 # With rules so strict They even time you 593 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,920 # When you're on the loo 594 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:51,800 # Making bombs and bullets Means I'm always mucky 595 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,560 # I've put my name down for a bath I'll get one if I'm lucky 596 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,560 # There is no job that we can't do 597 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,160 # It wasn't long till our roles grew 598 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:07,080 # Your country needs you, girls Army, navy, too, girls 599 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:11,480 # We're the World II girls This is our career 600 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:14,840 # I'm a plane fixing Plain speaking 601 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:18,480 # Photo taking, coal breaking Air force Miss 602 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,240 # Radar mender, lorry driver, weather guessing 603 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,240 # Foreign spying, I do all this 604 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:28,600 # I took the role of land girl While our men fight far away 605 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:33,720 # Storming on the home front, Helping save the day 606 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:38,760 # Tending crops and animals, Manual labour hoods 607 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:43,800 # In the field, my uniform's This scratchy tie and shirt 608 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,120 # When World War II is over though 609 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,920 # We'll be proud because we will know 610 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:54,000 # Thanks to us it's true, girls, Came to the rescue, girls 611 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:58,360 # We're the World War II, girls Original girl power # 612 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:00,720 # Tall tales # Atrocious acts 613 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,080 # We gave you all the fearsome facts 614 00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:03,720 # The ugly truth 615 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,200 # We showed you all the gypsy bits 616 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,600 # History, ghastly, mean and cruel 617 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,280 # Stuff they don't teach you at school 618 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,200 # The past is no longer a mystery 619 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,520 # Hope you enjoyed 620 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:18,440 # Horrible Histories # 47330

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