Original subtitles

♪ Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians

♪ Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights

♪ Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians

♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crime Punishments from ancient times

♪ Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen, savage, fearsome, toothless

♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages

♪ Gory, ghastly, mean and cruel

♪ Stuff they don't teach you at school

♪ The past is no longer a mystery

♪ Welcome to

♪ Horrible Histories. ♪

Horrible Histories presents...

Since the dawn of time,

humankind has searched for distraction.

In the Stone Age,

there was cave painting, the music of the bone whistle,

and the comedy at The Dirty Great Club.

In Ancient Rome - chariot races, gladiators,

and the news carved on a wall.

You'll never guess who Zeus is dating. Only Cleopatra!

Oh! But he's already married!

In the Middle Ages, the Vikings entertained each other with stories.

And so ends the tale of Jormungandr,

the giant snake that will kill the mighty Thor at the end of times...

ALL: Ahh!

Guys, guys, honestly, it's just a story.

HE YELLS

A glory age followed, the age of Shakespeare and the Globe Theatre,

where some performances would even include actual cannon fire.

Does anyone know how to build a theatre?

The Victorian Era and home entertainment, as demonstrated

by legendary writer Charles Dickens.

Who also dabbled in magic.

Be amazed as I pull a live guinea pig out of a hat!

CHOMP! Ow!

Is it any wonder that we were delighted by the invention of radio,

television and... the Big Brilliant Crew.

Huh?

What do you mean that's not what it stands for? Oh, right.

The British Broadcasting Corporation!

Eh, my idea was better.

Yeah, it's the British Broadcasting Corporation.

Hi, I'm Rose, EastEnders actor,

Strictly winner,

and a lover of a good party.

And that's why I'm here - at what is DEFINITELY a real party -

to celebrate our 100th year of the BBC with you.

We did have a cake with 100 candles on it, but it set off a sprinkler.

The BBC today is here for you, bringing you dance show...

STRICTLY THEME

...soap opera...

EASTENDERS THEME

...and some other stuff that I'm not in.

Now, your school might have a motto.

The BBC have one, too.

"To educate, inform and entertain."

Which were created by the BBC's first Director General, Lord Reith.

But, surprisingly, he wasn't an obvious choice for the job.

Hello, my name is Lord Reith.

I was the first Director General of the BBC,

which basically means I ran the place.

I'm kind of a big deal.

My top tip is, when applying for a job at the BBC,

make sure you are happy with your application before you send it.

After I posted mine,

I discovered the man who was going to interview me was Scottish,

so I decided to change my application

to make it absolutely clear that I was...

SCOTTISH ACCENT: ..extremely Scottish myself

by proudly pointing out my ancestors were from Aberdeen.

REGULAR ACCENT: And I thought it might help cos I knew absolutely

nothing about broadcasting.

I didn't even know what it was.

Um...

E... Exc...

SCOTTISH ACCENT: Excuse me!

Someone alert the Hand Police!

Lord Reith was in charge when TV first started

and things were very different back then.

There was only one channel

and you could only get a TV signal

if you lived near a transmitter in London.

And even if you could get a signal,

the pictures didn't have any colour.

They were black and white.

Imagine watching TV like this.

No way!

The picture quality was so bad back in the day

that the presenter had to wear special make-up just to be seen.

Hey, guys! Betty and Barb here from 1936

with a cool new invention, Mr Logie Baird's televisor.

Or, as some call it, television.

And the BBC are launching an actual televisor-vision. Just television.

It'll be the first teleVISION channel in the UK.

And we have one of their new cameras with us today.

That is not our best angle.

Picture quality isn't really there yet, but don't panic.

Make-up can help.

DING!

Do I really need this much? This is just the start.

The next stage is going to make your friends GREEN with envy.

Think red might be more natural.

Sorry, red disappears on screen.

Which I think might make it really good

for covering all your spots and blemishes.

DING!

It looks great on you.

You know who else it would look great on?

DING!

Thank you, Barbara.

I can't wait to see what it looks like on television.

Mr Logie Baird, we're ready for our close-up.

You better be right about this, Betty.

Oh, you really don't look that bad.

I know. So remember, guys, when it comes to television make-up,

more is more. Like and subscribe!

Betty, how do we get this stuff off?

I don't know. Keep smiling.

What do you mean, I look better with that make-up? Cheeky!

It was early days for TV,

but during World War II, BBC Radio became vital

in letting people know what was happing in the war.

Some of Winston Churchill's greatest speeches were broadcast

over the radio and people at home would

gather around their radio to find out what was happening.

But not everything they heard could be trusted.

The enemy had started broadcasting their own fake news.

But we found a way to make that much more difficult for them.

What's afoot, Director General? There is a war on, don't you know?

Minister, you know how the Nazis have been spreading fake news

by talking like British radio newsreaders?

That's that what's-her-name was speaking like a proper chap.

Too easy to take off.

I'm not sure what you just said.

But we think our newsreaders' accents might be too easy to copy.

Well, we have the answer.

He's called Wilfred Pickles.

How do? This is Wilfred Pickles reading t'news on BBC Home Service

or summat. I'm so giddy, I could give up me scran.

Ooh, gosh, I'm eight years in a bind, what language is he speaking?

What language am I speaking? What language are YOU speaking?

I'm Wilfred Pickles. Goodnae.

From vere is this Vilfred Pickle, Gruber?

From the Shire of York. Vere they have flat caps und vippets.

Vippets? Vippets. Was ist vippets? Vippets is vippets.

You're just saying vippets at me.

Ve vill do our best. Here goes.

Aw-reet, lass, vere dow middlin' by gum.

Ee, champion.

Hallo, I am Vilfred Pickle-haft.

Pickle onion.

Vere Vinnie the Pick-els.

What? It makes no sense.

Ve must learn to imitate his accent or the Fatherland is doomed.

'Ow do? 'Ow are ya?

'Ow do? 'Ow are...

Argh!

THUD!

His voice box exploded.

Curse you, Vilfred Pickles!

I'm Una Marson, the Jamaican poet, playwright,

journalist and broadcaster.

And I was the BBC's first-ever black producer.

I joined BBC Television in 1939

and then the Second World War broke out.

So, what do you think BBC TV did during the war? Did it...

...switch off for over six years?

The answer is C, it closed down.

There was no television at all in Britain during the war.

You know, maybe it's not always a bad thing to turn the TV off

once in a while. Not now, obviously.

SPLAT!

Once the war was over, the TV service was switched back on

and almost nobody watched because no-one had TV.

It took one very special event to show everyone how important

TV could be, and that was the day the whole country gathered

to watch the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II.

How exciting, Terrance. Our very own television set

so we can watch the Queen's Coronation in peace.

Oh, an historic moment. And I couldn't wish for someone better

to share... Hiya, Mum, Dad. Thought I'd come keep you company.

Sandra. I suppose... Hi, Granny. I brought the kids.

First television set in the whole street.

Hello, Maureen.

We were going to listen to the Coronation on the radio,

but we've heard you've got a television.

"We"? Just the cousins. Hello. Second cousins. Hiya.

Third cousins. Hi. Both cousins once removed. Hi.

And a chap Bert met in the pub. Hiya. And his cousins.

Well, i-i-i-it's nice to have a couple of... Morning.

I saw some people climbing through the window and thought I better...

Oh, you've got a telly!

In 'ere, lads, I was right!

You don't mind, do you? They're on leave.

Budge up. There's no more room. Getting a bit full in here.

Oh, I've just brought the brothers from the abbey

who don't have a television.

Which is all of us.

I can't see!

Move.

You're not missing much, the picture's awful.

And tiny. Ah, please, get your head out the way.

Oh, come on, Terrance, they've got a television at the Town Hall.

There'll be less people down there.

CHEERING AND CHATTER

SPLAT!

Yes, in the 1950s, a TV became the thing that everyone wanted

and the BBC even started broadcasting programmes

aimed at kids.

These shows were sometimes quite serious

and that is the tradition that we try to keep going

here on Horrible Histories.

SPLAT! See?

But did you know there was one brilliant children's show

that was launched over 60 years ago on the BBC that's still going today?

Well, to tell you about it, here's a song we made earlier.

Oh!

♪ October '58

♪ And we first began

♪ In black and white, we started

♪ Our first viewer was your nan

♪ That means for over 60 years, we've been on your TV screen

♪ But there's some bits, if we're honest

♪ That we wish you hadn't seen

♪ Lulu the cute elephant came from the zoo

♪ She stood on John Noakes' foot after doing a massive poo

♪ We invited in some Guides so they could sing a happy song

♪ But when the fake fire set alight, it all went very wrong

♪ Cos we were live

♪ We did it live

♪ What happened in the studio went down at five

♪ Or half past five

♪ We made a Tracy Island with paper mache and some glue

♪ And of course we'd made one earlier

♪ And you all made one, too

♪ You sent in old tinfoil and milk bottle tops

♪ Raising lots of money to train guide dogs

♪ We've had adventures climbing towers, princesses sent on safari

♪ And our totalisers counting all that cash for charity

♪ And we are live

♪ We do it live

♪ So far over 60 years, in 60 more, we'll still survive

♪ We'll keep on giving badges, always have a friendly pet

♪ There's so much more to come

♪ We've hardly started yet

BOTH:

♪ We do it live! ♪

Hello. I'm Verity Lambert.

I was the first female TV drama producer at the BBC.

My top tip is,

if you want to make your history show for children popular,

then add a few bug-eyed monsters.

Even when they tell you not to. Which is what they told me.

The programme I was making was Doctor Who

and it was meant to be an educational show

about science and history, with no bug-eyed monsters.

I introduced the Daleks

and the whole thing took off.

So, if you have a history show for children, my tip is

get yourself a bug-eyed monster.

And now on Horrible Histories,

it's time for the next skeeeetch!

It's a big much. Oh.

SPLAT!

Until the late 1960s, you could still only watch two TV channels

in the UK - one run by BBC and one run by ITV.

But, in 1964, the BBC decided to launch another.

It was a moment for an inspirational new channel name,

a name that would sum up hope and dreams of the nation.

And they call it...

...BBC Two.

They really put in a lot of effort into that name.

Mind you, it stuck,

because it's still what we call the channel today.

BBC Two was a big hit.

Although the launch night didn't quite go according to plan.

Launch night for a brand-new TV channel, BBC Two will be great.

We're finally moving with the times.

Uh-oh. Here's someone who's moved a bit too much.

I can't understand a word that hip floor manager says.

Big day, daddios, you cats solid?

Uh, sure thing, meow bud, yo.

I beg your pardon? I'm trying to speak youth.

We need BBC Two to feel different to BBC One or ITV.

Groovy, manio.

Well, we can agree that having three whole channels on TV

is incredible.

Makes you wonder how many there'll be in the future.

Five? Six?

GASPING

CLATTERING Ow!

There's a fire at Battersea Power Station.

The whole of West London's lost power

so the BBC Two launch is postponed.

Emergency generator should get the lights back on. Ah.

All right?

Well, that's done a poo on my groovy pie. Manana, cats.

I mean, it's just noise, isn't it? Oh, remember.

There's a kangaroo in the lift. Custard!

What on earth does that mean?

I guess it's groovy young people code

for "there's been a fire at Battersea Power Station."

"Custard" means "cool".

Guys, there's a kangaroo in the lift.

We know. It's totally custard.

Yeah, that's right. Anyway, manana, cat. Fish.

Odd name for a kangaroo, Custard.

That's just what we call him,

the BBC Two mascot for the launch.

His real name's George.

Is he going to be OK in the lift? DING!

Yeah, as long as no-one opens the...

Argh! There's a kangaroo in the liiiiift!

Yeah, Custard.

Custard! Try "George".

We borrowed him from a circus for the launch,

but he got stuck in the lift.

Well, let's try and get... Argh!

All right? I'm Mick Jagger.

My rock and roll band The Rolling Stones

was the first band to perform on Top Of The Pops.

That was the biggest pop music show in Britain for over 40 years.

Millions and millions of people watched it every week.

But what did the programme do in the early days

when bands like mine weren't available to appear on the show?

Did they...

And the answer is C.

They put people in strange costumes and got them to dance.

That's not how ordinary people move.

But who wants to be ordinary?

Thanks, Mick. And that's almost it for the 100th Birthday party.

HOOT!

It really has been a wonderful 100th year

and especially for children's TV on BBC.

To celebrate, we're ending with a song. I hope you enjoyed it.

And here's to the next 100th year. Bye!

Hello. I'm Lord Reith.

Are you enjoying this?

Would you like to find out how children's television all began?

MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF PURE IMAGINATION

♪ Come with me

♪ From your settee

♪ On a journey into children's television

♪ On CBBC

♪ A horrible history

♪ Of your favourite transmissions

♪ Shows were short and slow so long ago

♪ Watch With Mother and For The Children

♪ They made superstars of Bill and Ben

♪ Though we never got much sense from them... ♪

Flobadob. See what I mean?

♪ But as the time passed, we had a blast

♪ With colour, cartoons and strange creatures

♪ From Tweenies and Telly Tubbies

♪ To hanging out with Tracy Beaker

♪ Switch the TV on

♪ And we'll be gone

♪ On a journey into children's television on CBBC

♪ A horrible history

♪ Of your favourite transmissions

♪ From one day a week

♪ To every night

♪ And don't forget Saturday morning

♪ On so many shows

♪ It's chaos, you know

♪ So much fun, they needed a warning... ♪

"Do not try this at home."

♪ Gunging those celebrities and spraying them with goo

♪ When we were shouting Bogies, you would shout it, too

♪ When not at home

♪ Watch on your phone

♪ You can view us everywhere

♪ Always something new

♪ Shows made just for you

♪ Lifelong friends who are always there. ♪

That's it. Till next time.

And the time after that.

Some of Wiltson Churchill's greatest speech...

LAUGHTER

"Wilson Churchill." Ahhh!

♪ The past is no longer a mystery

♪ Hope you enjoyed

♪ Horrible Histories. ♪