Original subtitles

♪ Terrible Tudors Gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians

♪ Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights

♪ Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians

♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times

♪ Romans rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless

♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages

♪ Gory stories, we do that

♪ And your host, a talking rat

♪ The past is no longer a mystery

♪ Welcome to...

♪ Horrible Histories. ♪

Horrible Histories presents...

..Heroic Home Front.

2019 is the 80th anniversary of the outbreak of World War II.

Although the war was fought almost entirely overseas,

the people back at home played their part, too,

on what became known as the Home Front.

When the war began, on September 1st, 1939,

people in Britain prepared as best they could

and waited for the imminent attack...

..and waited...

..and waited.

We interrupt this broadcast with breaking news.

It is 1939, and the world is at war.

Germany and the Soviet Union have invaded Poland

and divided it in two.

In defence of Poland, Britain and France have declared war on Germany.

Katie Woe and Robin Pestle are both on the streets in London

to make sure we miss nothing as this war explodes around us.

Katie...

Things are bleak, here on the streets of London.

Piles of defensive sandbags, machinegun posts and checkpoints

have appeared overnight, as the country prepares for

the imminent German attack.

Sorry to butt in there, Katie, but things are moving quickly here.

I've just heard from local specialist hospitals

for the nasty lung disease, tuberculosis...

Or as we in the know call it, TB.

..that they're chucking patients out onto the streets, MAN COUGHS

as doctors prepare for some serious carnage.

Thousands of potentially infectious TB patients, MAN HACKS AND COUGHS

like this man, are on the streets.

Blimey! I don't want it. Oh, don't worry...

..the nurse has only said not to cough on young people.

More important breaking news!

The phone boxes have been taken over by the Government

to aid communication during the attack.

The Government are also confiscating people's homing pigeons,

in order to create an emergency pigeon service.

Sad old man, how does that make you feel?

Sad... Breaking news!

Oh, come on! The looting has already started.

As Britain braces itself for attack,

these people are stealing pictures from the National Gallery, live.

Oh, no, we're not nicking them. We're taking them to

a Welsh quarry so they'll be safe when the bombing starts.

Bombing AND stealing - you heard it here first!

We'll bring you more news on the attack as soon as it happens.

Just as soon as a-a-anything happens...

Oh...!

You see that? So close. Oh, yeah, just a little bit to the left.

Ooh! Ah...

You have reached level three - the news.

Wake up! It's happening!

Paris has fallen! What?

When? When were they attacked?

This is unbelievable!

All that waiting, and I missed it!

Still, I guess if France has fallen, that means...

..we're next.

It's true, the war took so long to affect people back in Britain

that some started calling it "the phoney war".

Eight months later, the Germans invaded and defeated France

in just 46 days.

Nearly 400,000 British soldiers were stuck in France, facing capture,

but help was coming. The ordinary people of London had put together

a fleet of 800 boats, and they were heading to Dunkirk,

where the soldiers had to wait on the beaches under heavy fire.

Hey! Form an orderly queue, lads. No pushing.

Remember now - you're British.

Toughest part of the war, this, corporal...

..queuing on an exposed beach, waiting to be rescued.

Argh! GUNSHOT

Or shot.

We're like sitting ducks, sir.

Incoming fire, take cover!

MACHINEGUN FIRE

All right... Back in line, men.

Ah, forgive me, corporal...after you.

That's fine, sir, after you. Certainly not.

You were ahead of me in the queue. Oh, well, I know...

You chaps, start boarding the boat now! We need to get in and off

the beach as soon as we can! Yeah, one second, Taylor.

Oh, they're back! Take cover, men!

RAPID GUNFIRE

OK, back to your places!

That's better.

Hang on, sergeant, you weren't there!

Oh, sorry, sir, my fault. Sorry.

No... Now I've got the front again!

FRENCH ACCENT: You must board and get out of here.

I'm sure how long we can hold off the German army.

You must get safely back to England and avenge us!

Right, you heard the Frenchman!

Corporal, after you! Not on your Nellie, sir.

As the senior officer here, I command you to get on that boat.

Never. This is mutiny, I'll have you arrested.

I'd rather be in prison than be a dirty queue jumper.

Sorry, chaps...we're all actually getting shot at, at the back there,

so do you mind if you just... Get back! Get back!

Get back to where you've come from or I'll shoot you!

Right, gentlemen, we seem to have gotten into a bit of a pickle.

May I suggest that we all get on the boat together?

OK. Agreed.

Oh...

..they've left.

They didn't even say goodbye.

That's just rude.

Right!

Form an orderly queue for the next boat.

Ah...

Although we'd saved many soldiers, France was defeated,

and it looked like we'd be next to fall under the Nazi reign of terror.

On the home front,

the people of Britain prepared for the German invasion.

While across the Channel, the German generals carefully planned

the destruction of Britain....

..although not all of Britain.

Gentlemen, I present to you... Operation Sea Lion,

the invasion of Britain.

First, we will destroy their air force with the superior aircraft

of Reich Marshal Hermann Goering.

Then we will land a squadron of floating tanks and underwater tanks

on the south-east coast.

Yes, Field Marshall Keitel?

Will we land near Brighton? Brighton?

No. Why, do you have intelligence of an enemy force there?

No, but I have some vunderful holiday snaps!

And the ice cream is to die for!

Imagine conquering Britain on a tummy full of ice cream!

Nein!

This is a major invasion, it's not a day at ze beach.

Let's move on...

..with the bombing! Exactly.

We will bomb ahead of our advance.

Oh, but not Brighton...

..they have a pavilion and two piers with many amusements.

Don't forget the ice creams.

Last time I went there, I asked for one scoop, but the man

at the counter gave me an extra scoop for free!

No way - they didn't! What flavours do zey have?

Guys, please! Once we have conquered Britain, you can all spend

all the time you want wherever you want.

I can spend, like, a whole day just riding on the donkeys in Brighton!

Ah-ha-ha! This donkey riding amuses me!

Please can we focus on the task at hand?!

The destruction of the British Armed Forces?!

Yeah... I have a list.

Excellent, Herr Speer!

Is it a list of all the people that we will arrest and execute?

Jews? Socialists?

MOCKINGLY: Churchill? Er, no...

..it's a shopping list. A what?!

Yeah, it's a list of all the famous works of art that we will steal

from Great Britain and bring back to Germany.

Perhaps we should win the battles first?

Also, I think we should take Nelson's Column back,

it's a tall pillar of rock with a statue on ze top!

Speaking of pillars of rock... they have this rock in Brighton

with the name of the town all the way through it.

This is not possible! I've seen it with my own eyes!

Guys!

Nazis! This is a major invasion, not...

..a holiday shopping trip at the seaside!

Oh, forget the seaside! Thank you.

We must first visit ze Lake District,

the home of the Beatrix Potter!

Flopsy, Mopsy, Peter und Baumwollschwanzkaninchen!

So cute! Fine!

Well...we'll just invade Russia instead.

Ooh! Ooh!

I hear the borscht is great there.

CAMERAS CLICK

HEE-HAW!

To get to Britain, the Germans needed to destroy the British Navy that patrolled the Channel.

And to destroy the Navy, well...

..they needed to destroy the RAF that was protecting them

from above, and that led to the Battle of Britain,

a battle for the skies.

And at the end of it, the RAF was still flying and the threat

of invasion was gone, but that didn't stop the German planes

from dropping bombs on British cities every night,

in what became known as The Blitz.

Mind you, they had to FIND our cities if they wanted to drop

bombs on them. We found that if we turned OFF our lights,

they were very hard to spot.

Of course, having the lights out caused a few problems for us, too.

Oi, what you doing?!

CLATTERING

You see what I mean?

Good evening. The British government has ordered everyone to cover

or extinguish all lights that may be seen from the air

as we brace ourselves for nightly German bombings.

Katie Woe has more.

Thank... thank you, Diane.

The blackouts are designed to make it harder for the bombers

to see the targets. They also make it impossible for me to see...

..anything at all.

Dropping the ball again, Katie? Well, confusion in these pitch-black

conditions is rife, but even more serious are the collisions.

BICYCLE BELL DINGS

Oh...oh!

CRASHING, COW MOOS

And that includes ones with livestock - people are even painting

white stripes on their cows to make them more visible.

Like this one...

She's a real beauty.

Get your hands off me! Oof!

Sorry, madam. Agh! COW MOOS

This is Robin Persil reporting for HHTV News,

live from Leicester Squa...

Argh-h-h-h-h!

Attention on the home front.

The German planes will soon be in our skies, and they won't

just be dropping bombs, they'll be dropping deadly gas.

Do you enjoy being able to breathe?

Do you like not being dead?

Do you want a gas mask?

Well, you have to have one anyway, it's the law.

This stylish accessory is perfect for every occasion.

You can wear your gas mask cycling...

Picnicking... MUFFLED: It's delicious.

Singing...

And don't worry, madam...

..you can still wear your glasses and make-up.

BABY CRIES

PFFT! Timothy, they're not for that kind of gas!

AIR RAID SIREN

Bleurgh!

The Second World War gas mask,

get yours today...

..because you'll be breaking the law if you don't.

I spoke to Winston Churchill this morning.

You know, funny face, silly voice.

Oh, yes.

He thinks we should move to Canada. DISTANT BOMBS

He has this funny idea that we'd be safer there.

Oh, not him, as well.

LOUD EXPLOSION

Don't worry, I'll get Carruthers to pour us another.

You rang, sir? Yes, Carruthers, could we...

What on Earth are you wearing?

Oh, this is just a standard butler uniform, ma'am.

Atchoo!

Hm, must be getting a cold.

Oh, not you, as well.

Can everyone please stop trying to convince us to move to Canada?

Pour us another tea, would you, Carruthers? Certainly, sir.

EXPLOSION

FRENCH ACCENT: King George, Queen Elizabeth, is everyone OK?

Fine. I'm not fine.

Why is our guard French?

I'm not French, I'm French-Canadian.

I suppose you're here to tell us how safe Canada is?

Did Carruthers put you up to this?

Certainly not, ma'am! I've never seen Pierre here in my life.

No, I'm just guarding the Palace.

Fine. As long as you're not here to tell us to move to Canada.

It is very nice, though.

Oh, shut it, maple syrup!

Moving to Canada isn't very "keep calm and carry on", is it?

Quite right. At times like these, it's important we remind

the British public we are just like them...

..in our palace, surrounded by guards

and waited on by a staff of hundreds.

EXPLOSION

Whew! Hm.

You know, Your Majesty, in Canada you'd be able to drink your tea

without bits of bomb in it.

Well, perhaps I like the bomb bits, Carruthers.

CRUNCHING

Mm!

King George VI here.

You might recognise me from the stamp.

No? Oh, erm...

..postbox? Oh.

Well, you'll know my daughter, Elizabeth II.

Anyway, here's my question...

..during World War II, Britain was helped by a group known as

"The King's Most Loyal Enemy Aliens".

But who were they exactly?

Were they...?

The answer is B.

They were German soldiers fighting for Britain.

Yes, there were 10,000 Germans and Austrians who fled the Nazis

and joined the British fight against Hitler.

Danke schoen, aliens!

With thousands of men away at war,

the women on the home front had to take on all kinds of jobs

that had, until now, been considered too dangerous for them.

And probably at the most risk were the ATA girls -

our first female military pilots.

You think flying planes in battle is dangerous?

Try flying the broken planes off to be mended after the battles.

Welcome to the Air Transport Auxiliary induction, ladies.

Any questions before we start?

IN SPANISH:

Margot Duhalde, isn't it? I heard you're a fabulous flyer,

although I'd maybe suggest learning English is a bit of a priority.

That's the language the flying manuals are in...

..those planes that HAVE manuals.

Most of them don't - you just have to make it up...

..but that's all part of the fun!

Now, here is an example of a plane you might be asked to fly.

HEAVY CLANGING

They do tend to do that.

Is this going to be safe to fly, Commander Gower?

Of course it is!

It's not as if you're going to be fighting in these planes,

just flying them to and from the airfields. Although, of course...

..that won't stop the enemy planes from shooting at you!

And, obviously, you won't have any ammunition to defend yourselves,

but that's all part of the fun!

Oh, don't worry, I'm not planning to fly in this thing,

I'm just going to hang it in the cockpit.

Right, let's have a look at this plane, shall we?

Now this is a Hurricane, beautiful plane.

Nope. Still not getting any of that.

Someone has to fly these planes from the airfields to the repair yard,

and that job has fallen to us...

..and the disabled and retired male pilots.

Well, we may be women, but we're all ace pilots,

every one of us.

CREAKING

Sorry. Once you've got to grips with this one, there are

146 other models of aircraft to get familiar with.

Think how lucky you are, girls.

Yeah...

That's the spirit, Margot!

Now, let's get under here and have a look, shall we?

Ah, now...

..you see here the floor has come completely off?

And one of you lucky ladies is going to get to fly

this plane this afternoon!

METALLIC CLANGING

What fun, eh?

PLANE FLIES OVERHEAD

Thank you, I just had it done.

During the war, some food and clothing were so hard to come by

that it had to be rationed, and some stuff wasn't available at all.

So when America joined our side in the war, and their soldiers started

arriving in Britain in 1942, they brought with them a lot of things

we hadn't seen for years.

The British women went crazy for the stuff the GIs had,

and the GIs themselves weren't bad either!

That's all the bacon they've given me for the whole week.

How do you think I feel? This is all the butter they've given me

for the whole week, I couldn't spread that over a slice of bread!

Wartime rations are doing my head in!

I just want a big hunk of meat.

I know what you mean, I've a jar of jam for a month.

I need a six pack.

It looks like your wish has come true, Betty.

It's...

It's American soldiers!

A delivery of beefcake!

HIP-HOP BEAT PLAYS

♪ Yo, yo, GIs in the village

♪ What up? What up?

ALL: What?

♪ Yo here we is!

♪ Just flew over the Atlantic So fit and healthy, we look gigantic

♪ Also paid more than your British soldiers

♪ Though we might have made up the stories we told ya

Yeah, baby doll, I'm the genuine king of Brooklyn.

I know he isn't,

but he's got the first chocolate we've seen in three years!

♪ You can stop painting your legs with that gravy

♪ And drawing a line that's going all wavy

♪ Cos we got the real deal We bring nylons

♪ Form an orderly queue We don't want a pile-on!

FABRIC TEARING Whoa! You're only meant to take the tights!

Ooh, I could make some clothes out of this!

♪ Our food's so good you'll be stealing our scrap

♪ It's why we're much fitter than your British chaps

♪ Speaking of which, I see they're not here

♪ Did we mention we got our own teeth, my dear?

♪ We're young, free, handsome and rich

♪ We also have clothes that don't make you itch

♪ The only thing we just don't know

♪ Is why you drive on the wrong side of the road... ♪ CAR BRAKES SQUEAL

Seriously, we've had loads of crashes.

We're used to driving on the other side.

♪ We got chewing gum, soda and candy

♪ Also music that's big swing bandy

♪ We'll be partying every weekend

♪ If you can't make the dates I'll just ask your friend

And we was worried about the Germans invading...

♪ G I, G I...

Do you think they do this all the time?

♪ You like what you see? ♪

You know what, it's mostly about the chocolate.

Nothing like a night off war work, is there, ladies?

You're right there, Maureen.

Who would have thought three years ago, we'd be sitting here

with a bunch of American GIs.

In them days, people wouldn't have dreamed of women

doing hard, manual labour.

Hard, dangerous, manual labour.

With hardly any break. You have breaks?

I did an eight-hour shift at the Navy base last night

in total silence.

Eight-hour shift? We land girls do a 50-hour week,

driving tractors, lugging great big bales of hay, and at the end

of the day, all we get is a bath full of lice.

Oh, you're lucky!

I dream of a bath full of lice.

Every day at the arms factory,

they cover us in a chemical that makes our skin turn yellow.

Luxury. I dream of being covered in a chemical that makes my skin

turn yellow. I work 14 hours a day in the hospital,

getting covered in wee, poo, blood and vomit.

14 hours?

Indoors in the warm?

I'm outdoors in all weathers, scrubbing blood off the cockpits.

GI: What's wrong with these girls?!

Still, least we know our families are proud of what we're doing.

Oh, but you try telling any of them men away fighting how hard it is,

and they won't believe you. ALL: Nope.

Ahem, erm...excuse me, any of you girls want to dance?

No, love, we're tired from work.

You're tired? I've been practising marching for two hours today.

Yeah, I got blisters on my feet!

THEY MOCK HIM Oh, no! Cry me a river...

And I also have chocolate.

LADIES SQUEAL EXCITEDLY

On the home front, German spies were a serious concern.

People thought they were going to sneak into the country

and secretly take over our towns and cities.

But how were the German spies rumoured to be getting in?

Were they...?

And the answer is... A!

People believed that the Germans were dressing as nuns

and parachuting into Britain.

It sounds funny, but we did catch a lot of German spies during the war.

Mind you, not all of them were hard to spot.

STEAM WHISTLE BLOWS

Guten Ta... Good afternoon.

Vich station is this?

Port Gordon station. Ah!

Like it says on the wall.

We would like two train tickets to London,

because our bicycles fell into the sea. Of course...

I'm sorry, what? Yeah, ve wanted to cycle to London,

but it turns out that London is 600 miles away.

Who knew? Not us.

Even though we live here all our lives. Yeah.

You know, if I met someone near the coast who was wet and wanted

to go to London, I really ought to wonder if they were a German spy!

Not London, then!

I meant here.

FINGER SQUEAKS ON WALL

We vont to go here...

..via London. Right.

Hello, hello, hello. Agh!

Say, policeman man, beat on the bobby beat!

Would you mind me having a wee look in your bag?

Of course, we have nothing to hide!

THROUGH TEETH: Have you hidden all the things we have to hide?

Yes, but our hiding place is the bag.

Is this...

.a long-range radio?

Ah, yes... It is my lucky long-range radio, I carry it with me always.

It's got a swastika on it. Has it?!

I thought it was a flower!

A gun.

For starting races. Ready, steady, bang!

And a torch. The races happen at night.

Both made in Germany.

We are the best engineers in the vurld! And...

..it's very reasonably priced. Mm-hm.

Well, it all seems to be in order then.

Hang on...

What's this?

It looks like...

..a German sausage. You must be...

..German spies!

No lie will explain the presence of such a beautiful sausage in Britain!

We're sunk!

Like the bicycles!

Of course, spies weren't the only way that the Germans could steal

vital information about our armies.

They also tried to get hold of the letters between the soldiers

and their loved ones at home.

This was such a worry that the letters were checked before

they were delivered, and anything that could be helpful to the enemy

was cut out or blacked out.

Some letters even ended up looking like this.

Oh, all right, then, this hasn't had bits cut out...

..I just got a bit peckish!

I've got a letter from Ernest! Oh!

What does it say?

I get so worried with him away fighting the Germans,

but he's so brave. Just open the letter, I want to know what's going on over there!

Oh, it looks like the censor's been at it a bit.

I suppose they do have to be careful, in case the enemy

capture the letter and find out where our troops are.

Just read the letter, or I'll read it for you!

OK, OK!

"Dearest, darling Doreen...

Aw! Aw!

"I am writing to you from blank.

"Here in the blanky blank of blank,

"we are all constantly blanking...in the blank.

Oh, typical!

"Never a day goes by without blank,

"and every time I see it, it reminds me of the day when we blank blanked

"on the blanky blank, and it was really blank.

Aw! Aw!

"We are blanking out soon,

"so time is short, my little blank.

"I have to tell you the important reason why I am writing,

"I need to ask you to blank the blank, so that from now on,

"you will blank the blank and blank the blanky blank

"until the blank is blanked.

"Please blank me as soon as you blank.

"Yours, Blanky."

Oh, no, they cut his name!

No, that's me nickname for him.

I guess what he's trying to say is...

..he misses me! Oh, petal!

Did you dump her, then? Yep.

Really couldn't have made it any clearer.

In 1944, four years after our army escaped from Dunkirk,

the British leader, Winston Churchill, was busy making plans

to return our forces to France in a major invasion called D-Day.

The plan to send the British and American armies together

across the Channel was being secretly devised

with American president, Franklin D Roosevelt.

But one of the ways Churchill and Roosevelt communicated

might surprise you.

Oh! Oh, no, you go first.

Are you sure? Oh, you're not desperate?

Well, I'm literally about to die, but, no, no, honestly...

Make way, make way, coming through!

I've got to answer an urgent call.

Was that... Mr Churchill?

The Prime Minister? Yes!

Are you new here, too? Yes.

He really needed to go, didn't he?

Ah, thank goodness!

Ah, there you are, my old friend.

Come through at last.

Is he talking to his poo?

Are you ready for the big push, eh?

I'm going to make the world's biggest ever aquatic landing.

Never heard it called that before!

I'm going to drop over 10,000 tonnes.

I say! Must have had a jolly big lunch!

Can you hear me?

Is he talking to us?

Erm...hello? There you are.

I do really need your help with D-Day.

Oh, sir...

Yes, sir.

For King and country.

Eurgh!

Yes, what is it?

I'm on the phone. I thought you said you needed help with the bidet.

D-Day, man! Not bidet!

It's not a toilet.

This is a top-secret line to the President of the United States.

Why is it disguised as a toilet?

Because the toilet is the only place I could ever get any peace!

Where is the real toilet?

Ah...ah, it's too late.

Oh, that's warm!

On the 8th of May, 1945, the Nazis surrendered

and victory in Europe was declared.

Sadly, millions had died.

But the millions of people who'd been saved were able to celebrate

the end of a six-year world war.

Huh, and the VE Day parties!

Well, they went on for quite some time.

MUSIC: IN THE STYLE OF "SEPTEMBER"

♪ Do you remember

♪ The day that the Nazis surrendered?

♪ After six awful years it was splendid

♪ Churchill gave us our VE Da-a-ay

♪ Victory in Europe

♪ The whole county was feeling jubilant

♪ Excited and overexuberant

♪ We congaed round Trafalgar Square

♪ Hey, hey, hey!

♪ VE Day! Say, do you remember?

♪ VE Day! That brilliant two-day bender?

♪ VE Day! Peace was finally here to sta-a-a-a-ay

♪ I went to London

♪ God save the King Bells were ringing

♪ There was dancing and snogging and singing

♪ A million people on the streets or mo-o-o-o-ore

♪ The Royal Family

♪ Appeared at times on the balcony

♪ The masses were cheering and happy

♪ Though I found it quite hard to see-e-e-e-ee

♪ Hey, hey, hey!

♪ VE Day! A sunny day in May

♪ VE Day! We could turn the lights on, yay!

♪ VE Day! Peace was finally here to sta-a-a-a-a-ay

♪ VE Day! The Allies, we were stronger

♪ VE Day! Come on, let's do the conga

♪ VE Day! Wish the party lasted longer

♪ VE Day! All red white and blue

♪ VE Day! After all that we'd gone through

♪ VE Day!

♪ Why do we still have to queu-e-e-e-e-e-e-e? ♪

Next!

Bobby on ze beat! PHONE RINGS

Oh... Get that! It's just the future.

No lie will explain the presence of such a beautiful sausage!

♪ The past is no longer a mystery

♪ Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories. ♪