Original subtitles

(Man ) Don't be a loon, love. (Woman ) Why not?

- I'm going on one in about ten minutes! - "On one"! I love it!

Terrific! I'm putting my liberty on offer and you're doing an Eliza Doolittle.

We've managed to do it in less than ten minutes before now, darling.

A contortionist couldn't make out in this motor, even if he had all night.

Harry will be along in a minute!

♪ In other words, please be mine!

♪ In other words, darling, I miss you

♪ Fly me to the moon

♪ And let me play among the stars ♪

Oh!

I'll give you a ring later, give you the SP, right?

OK, darling. Be lucky. I hope you have a good "tickle".

- Good trip? - The company could have been better.

I don't why I'm being persecuted like this. I've already served a punitive sentence.

That was for your sins on the mainland, Willy. Now you've got to pay for your sins over here.

My God! A few miserable cheques!

Wonderful, isn't he? £6,000 of rubber cheques is not what I call miserable, Willy.

As for these handcuffs, I mean, my God, the humiliation! I'm not exactly Bluebeard!

- Regulations, Willy, nothing personal. - I would prefer it if you called me Mr Hodge.

Well, we like the personal approach over here, Willy.

There. Compliments of our friends at Scotland Yard. To be returned.

- All right. - In the back.

No, I'll ride up front, if you don't mind.

Too long exposed to chronic halitosis is not my idea of fun.

I know what you mean!

Jane! You look lovely.

That looks very nice.

My little brother been spoiling you?

I'm just promoting it, George. It goes back into the shop after the hols.

Gratitude! Sorry we're a bit late, George.

Mm, that's all right. Angela's still getting herself ready.

Come on through! Help yourself to a drink.

I'll see if I can hurry her up. Is Charlie here yet?

No. It's everybody's evening for being late.

(Hodge ) You do realise all this is a dreadful mistake?

- (Jim ) Willy, you do remind me of Bluebeard. - I beg your pardon?

What did he say when asked how many murders he'd done?

- I'm not in the least interested. - No, he didn't say that.

He said, "How should I know? I'm a murderer, not an accountant."

Ha... ha... ha!

(Chuckles )

Nothing personal, Willy, but can you keep your mouth shut until you make your confession?

That's right, on top of all this humiliation, insult me! Go on!

(Lorry approaching)

- All right, mate? - No, I'm not all right!

I've been hanging around here near on half an hour! Where you been?

- What the hell's this? - You said to knick some transport, this is it.

A lorry? What kind of a nutter are you? We can't go to work in this!

Why not? Who'd suss a lorry? It won't be missed till morning.

- Geezer's got a yard full of them. - Gertcha!

(Engine starts up)

How long are you staying, Dorothy?

Oh, just a few weeks. Charlie's house is a nice place to stay.

- Thank you, Angela. - Keep your bedroom door locked.

He's been known to sleepwalk when he has an attractive female guest staying.

I've also been known to sue people who slander my reputation.

At your age, you should consider it a compliment, darling.

(Chuckles )

All I'm saying is, having a powerful sports car on an island with a 40 mph limit is a silly luxury.

I imagine you'd never get out of second gear.

If you've got it, flaunt it, eh, Charlie?

If we all drove around in Minis, how would you know who to make friends with?

- Eh? Eh? - (Laughter)

(Geese honking)

(TV on indoors)

(TV) Here at HarweLL they've done it. Starting with tiny diamonds, scientists have discovered...

- What do you reckon? - Looks OK.

- Are you going in, or me? - I went in last time!

All right, all right, I'll go.

Now, it's...

It's that room there.

If he looks like making a move, you make sure and let me know, right?

Right. How? I can hardly shout up, can I?

Well, sling a pebble up at the window. There's enough of them about.

Right. Off you go, then.

- How long will you be away? - A fortnight. I'm really looking forward to it.

We haven't been off the island...

Since when, Peter?

Since we went on holiday last year.

That's right, a whole year.

I don't know why you bother. You already live on Paradise Island, as I see it.

It's their annual check,

to confirm that they made the right decision in moving to Jersey. Isn't it, darlings?

For Christ's sake, we've lived on the island for years.

We've no need to go on expensive holidays abroad to confirm that.

The only confirmation you need is tax at 20p in the pound, eh, George?

(TV) ..over the majority of EngLand and WaLes.

And tomorrow, we're going to find that southern and central parts of EngLand and WaLes

once again have a dry day with some sunshine.

(Alarm bell)

(Mouths )

(Alarm bell continues )

You wally! You're a raving lunatic!

(Gunfire continues )

And he said, "No, no, my mother-in-law is staying, the dog's ill",

"the only pleasure I get's when I take them off!"

- (Phone ringing) - I'll get it.

The dog and bone! Never stops, does it?

"Dog and bone"?

That's right, a shooter.

The lunatic was firing at us.

- Oh, dear... - "Oh, dear"?

"Oh, dear"? Is that all you've got to say? We could have been shot. Dead.

I am sorry, darling. I honestly didn't know he had a shooter.

How awfuLI.

"Awful, " she says.

But apart from that, how was the show, Mrs Lincoln?

You definitely are a suitable case for treatment, you know that?

Come on, I can't wait to hear.

Apart from that, Mr Booth, the show wasn't too bad at all.

Some nice tom, and about a grand in readies.

Oh, that's marvellous!

It's getting to be pretty serious, Jim, and CID are convinced it's outsiders.

- That's why they've lumbered us with it. - Oh, that's wonderful!

And he actually shot at them, did he?

Silly old twit! He hasn't even got a firearms license.

It's a war memento, a Luger of all things.

- I thought he did his service in the Far East. - You know him, then?

Slightly. He's one of Charlie's friends. Did he hit anyone?

No sign of blood anywhere, no one treated for gunshot wounds at the hospital.

No doctors phoning in to report anything like that, so it's unlikely.

I guess he's a bit out of practice.

Are you charging him?

He has some very influential connections on the island.

You know, an Englishman protecting his castle, and all that.

You think the same lot did the other robberies.

Has to be.

- This lot makes four, doesn't it? - Yes. In about as many weeks.

Well, they're either very lucky thieves, or they're getting inside information.

Or both.

- Hello, lover. - Hello, crank.

- Going on a burglary in a lorry? - According to the brigadier.

We do have a report of one being stolen from the yard of Beauvoir & Sons.

- Oh, yeah, I know them. You found it yet? - No.

The Evening Post are helping us in this our hour of need

by printing a description in tonight's edition.

Alongside an article hinting at police incompetence.

Oh, now there's a novelty.

What's the matter, don't you trust me?

Implicitly, darling. I just like counting it.

You're a weird bird, do you know that?

You must have more dough than you know what to do with,

and yet you get involved with a thing like this.

- And you want your whack. - "Whack"?

- Share. - Oh, whack!

I like it. It's my husband who has the dough, not me.

As a matter of fact, he's quite mean when it comes to giving me any.

Oh, yeah, it must be very embarrassing, riding round the island

- in an old banger like this. - It's a status symbol. It helps his image.

- But hard cash, no way. - Huh!

You can hardly whiz round the island, spending it, without it getting back to him.

Bleeding place is like a village. And what can you do with it?

- Count it. - Oh, terrific!

'Ere.

Lovely! Well, what do you think they'll bring?

Not as much as you'd think. We can't sell them as pieces, too unique.

We'll have to break them up for the stones alone.

- Oh, what a pity. - We'd probably get a trade for about three.

- Hundred? - Grand.

Ah...

Now...

let's get down to some serious trading!

- Only if you promise to treat me gently! - Ah!

(Angela chuckles )

- Darling... - Mm?

I may have another nice tickle lined up for us.

- Yeah? - But it will have to be done quite soon.

Are you sure it was a lorry, sir?

Sure? Damn it, of course I'm sure.

- I may be retired but I'm not senile, or blind. - Of course not, sir.

A scandal, that's what I call it, a bloody scandal.

Thuggees and bandits marauding across the island, looting and plundering. It's outrageous!

- Absolutely agree, sir. - What's being done, is what I want to know.

We're doing what we can, sir.

Asking me the same damn fool questions isn't much to me.

Why aren't you out there capturing the swine?

Do you normally keep that amount of money lying about, sir?

No damn business of yours if I do.

- Maybe not, but if there's a common factor... - Common factor?

They seem to know where to look for valuables or money

and the vulnerable points of entry into the properties.

Just what are you suggesting, Sergeant?

I'm suggesting they had inside information.

- Good God, man, what are you saying? - Well, it is just possible, isn't it?

No, Sergeant Bergerac, it is not possible.

I'll have you know, a man is judged by the company he keeps.

There is not one blot on the escutcheon of anyone I invite into my home.

- It's an appalling suggestion. - Yes, sir.

It would, nevertheless, Brigadier, be of considerable help if you'd jot down

a list of the people you normally invite...

you normally invite to...

Yes?

Uh, could we have a look at where the thieves got in, sir?

I knew I should have gone home and got changed first.

That would have made a difference?

- (Knocking on door) - All right, Charlie, I'm respectable.

- Pity. - You'll have me thinking Angela was right

- about that lock on the door. - I've got a master key.

Charlie, you are incorrigible.

Well, you're a widow and I'm a widower, what could be more appropriate?

Sounds incestuous to me.

Is Debbie coming with us?

No, she's busy. I wouldn't bother with those if I were, you, Dorothy.

I thought we might pop into town, check on the ones Peter was enthusing about last night.

Then, if you like the look of them, I'm sure I could arrange a 10 or even 20% discount.

Tell me, Charlie, have you ever paid the right price for anything?

(Yorkshire accent) I wouldn't be where I am today if I'd done owt so daft as that.

- As a business woman, you're aware of that. - I know little of business. Morris handled that.

- No, I know nothing of sharp business practice. - Sharp business practice?

But I'm willing to learn...

from a master.

- (Chuckles ) - Now, what about the house?

Well, I've arranged for us to view a rather splendid one later on at St Ouen's.

(Dorothy ) It sounds far too large for my needs, Charlie.

(Charlie ) Nonsense, my dear. A queen deserves a palace. You just wait till you see it.

- That's odd. - What is?

Unless I'm much mistaken, that's Angela Marshall's car just driven out from the dunes.

I wonder who's in the other one?

- Maybe she has a secret lover. - What, Angela?

Ha ha! Knowing Angela, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Let's see if we can get a closer look, shall we?

No, Charlie, please, I hate speed, it terrifies me.

Anyway, it's none of our business.

No, I'm sorry, you're quite right.

It's a problem of living in a small community, you get infected by the village gossip syndrome.

It's all very well theorising that it's someone who associates with all the victims,

the more victims, the longer the possible list of suspects.

Oh, that's impeccable logic, that, Charlotte.

OK, genius, you try and come up with a short list of prospects

from 70-odd people who all know and socialise with each other.

Agatha Christie never had this problem.

- Sounds good to me. - I dunno, we are strongin' it bit.

Oh, leave it out.

When we was at it up the smoke, we used to turn anything from three to eight drums a day.

Houses, flats, breaking into 'em and that.

Good God! Is that right, Paul?.

Not all the time, only now and then.

Most of it was done on spec. We were lucky to get a good drink out of it half the time.

- This is different. - Yeah, it's about 1,000% better!

Harry, someone's bang at it every other minute in London.

It rates about two lines in the local rag, if that.

- We're getting headlines over here. - Don't worry about it. Noddyland, isn't it?

The Old Bill couldn't catch a cold naked in a blizzard.

(Angela chuckles )

(Thunder)

- Any joy? - What do you think?

- I might just as well not come up here. - Yeah. They almost certainly wore gloves.

All we've got is smudges.

- What are you laughing at? - Smudges.

- Pardon? - It's the London term for "prints".

Your trip over there wasn't entirely wasted, then.

(Tannoy ) Any remaining passengers please go at once

through the Lobby to board at Gate number 17.

- All right? - Yeah, of course.

I'll be back on the 7:30 flight tonight.

- What name did you use? - Does it matter?

That's what's great about schlepping back and forth to London, no ID or passport needed.

Yeah, well, don't get too confident. You can still get a tug from Customs the other end.

What's the odds, among holidaymakers? They're only looking for booze and cigarettes.

Listen, get what you can, but don't let Joe take liberties.

- Three grand minimum for that little lot, right? - Right.

- On your bike. - See ya!

(Car door closes )

Come on! Come on!

- There you are, Jane. - Hello, Angela.

I thought I'd pick up the keys, as you're leaving early tomorrow.

- Yes. Time for a coffee? - Sure.

Go on, then.

- Still looking forward to it? - I'll say!

I've stocked up with dog food, all you have to do is give them a good walk every day.

The gall of the man! I can't believe the questions he was asking.

Policeman or not, it was damned impertinent.

He practically suggested that I was a friend of some actual criminal!

Jane?

Jane!

I can't find my favourite bathing suit. I'll have to buy another one when we get there.

Did you want me to pack your blue suit?

For God's sake, Jane! Have I been talking to myself?

I don't know, Peter. Have you?

(Car horn toots )

- All right? - I'm here, aren't I?

- Are you sure? - (Chuckles )

- How'd it go? - Sweet as a nut.

Got about what we expected from Joe.

- Put it in the safety deposit? - Yeah.

Except for a grand I brought back for extras, and Angie's whack.

- She will be pleased. - I bleeding well hope so.

You certainly got hold of one when you claimed that.

I didn't claim her, she claimed me.

To tell you the truth, she's getting to be hard work.

- I should have to work so hard! - You don't have to keep obliging her.

Shut your eyes, think of England and the lovely dough you're earning.

(Paul) Yeah, well, I think she's getting a bit too greedy. And stupid.

She's talking about turning over her brother-in-law's drum now.

- Yeah?! - Talk about doing it close to home.

I dunno... Closer to home, less likely she'll be sussed.

Who'd believe she'd turn over family?

Yeah, maybe. It just don't feel right.

What does she reckon he's worth?

Well, she's only guessing, but she reckons a minimum of ten grand.

Ooh... That'll do for me!

What about the other job?

It's all set for tomorrow, with a bit of luck.

Unbelievable!

- I don't believe it! I just don't believe it! - Oh, Charlie...

I don't know what to say, Dorothy. How could it have happened?

- Nothing else appears to have been touched. - That's something, I suppose.

It's something, all right. I'm not sure what.

- What is that supposed to mean? - They seem to have known where to look.

- Oh, Charlie! - Please, Dorothy, don't upset yourself.

I know how you must feel, but... My God, I'll create such a stink!

Heads will bloody well roll, you mark my words!

(Ambient piano music)

I believe it's what they call "trying to break through the class barrier".

I thought we had a classless community here, Lil.

No such thing anywhere, including all points east of Germany.

Even Charlie wouldn't speak to me. I expected more help from him.

Charlie? The Edmund Hillary of social climbing?

There was one woman I had to see yesterday, she had me practically thrown out of the house.

- Help your local police, beat yourself up. - You've been reading your loo walls.

They're not that imaginative, love. Not like your nice little friend, Hodge.

Mm... I think Barney looks on him as some kind of punishment,

in case I was enjoying myself too much in London.

- And did you? - What?

- Enjoy yourself? - Oh, yeah...

There was a very nice WPC from Vice Squad. She taught me a few things I didn't know.

I'll bet. You know that Hodge passed a dud cheque in here the other night?

He ate pretty well all over the island, I understand.

He was with some dreadful young man, as I recall.

- Hope he had a gas mask. - Pardon?

- Hello, Barney. - Hello, Lil.

The score has just gone up to five.

Oh! Who and where?

You're going to love this.

They obviously knew they'd set off the alarm if they tried to open a door or window.

Good God! Is that what they pay you for, to state the obvious?

Well, sorry, but I'm upset, naturally.

We're all a bit upset, Charlie.

It's not just myself, you understand, it's poor Dorothy who's suffered the worst loss.

She's a guest in my house, I mean, the embarrassment alone!

- Won't your insurance cover her losses? - In financial terms. But that's hardly the point.

The point is, with more cooperation from you and your friends

we might have a chance of finding out who's setting these robberies up.

What the hell am I supposed to say to that?

Firstly, it's only a theory. Secondly, you can hardly expect me

to accuse one of my friends without the slightest evidence.

- There must be someone... - There bloody well isn't!

And it isn't my responsibility to do your work for you!

Come on, calm down, Charlie. If anybody's embarrassed by this, it's us.

"Police Baffled By A Spate Of Robberies".

Yeah, well, the only thing you can believe in the newspaper is the date.

Leave it out! Plod's running round in circles, it has to be true!

That's right, Paul. Neither of you two has had a tug.

You'll be the one getting a tug, if you go round sticking up your nearest and dearest.

Oh, don't be silly, darling, nobody's going to suspect me.

In any case, my brother-in-law is hardly what I'd call my nearest and dearest.

The fact is, he's rather a pompous old bore. Do him good to be tickled.

- (Both chuckle ) - Too much, isn't she?

Well, what sort of attitude did you expect, Sergeant? It's rather an emotive suggestion.

Thank you very much, you've been very helpful.

Hm. Personalities. Well, if there's nothing else...

- Nice place you've got here. - Thank you.

I hope you've got it well insured.

Ah. My wife.

Can I have a word with her?

- Yes, but I think you're wasting your time. - Oh, yeah, why's that?

Don't misunderstand me, she's a remarkable woman, but she does live in a world of her own.

(Car door slams )

Hello, darling. Off somewhere interesting? Yes, of course you are. Who is this?

This is Sergeant Bergerac, of the Bureau Des Etrangers, darling. My wife, Angela.

Hello.

Sergeant Bergerac's making enquiries about the burglaries that have taken place recently.

- You must have read about them. - You know I never look at the papers, darling.

Naturally, I've heard about them. Some of our friends were robbed, weren't they, George?

- Yes. We must both be going, darling. - But, darling, I'm interested.

I'll tell you about it this evening. Don't forget we're going out, so please be ready.

Bye.

(Harry ) Which one? (Paul) That one.

- (Harry ) That one? - Yeah.

(Harry ) Doesn't look too difficult.

(Paul) There's a neighbour looking over.

- Get some overalls, nick a builder's van, eh? - Yeah, I suppose.

I'll sort it out with Angie for when it's the best time.

(Background saxophone jazz music)

- That looks lovely. - Will there be anything else?

Perhaps some more drinks later.

What do you mean, the police know someone from your crowd is feeding information?

Not "know", darling, suspect.

- Keep your voice down. - Angie, when the police say "suspect",

- that means they know! - Darling, you told me

the plods would work that out quickly.

You also told me not to worry, because they wouldn't know where to start looking.

- That was Harry. - No, it was you,

when you first started to talk me into all this.

Or was that all lies, just to take advantage of me?

- Oh, don't be silly, darling. - Well, you're not going to bottle it, are you?

Not "bottle it", "bottle out".

Well, are you?

All I'm saying is that we ought to go a bit more careful, that's all.

We will, darling, we will.

Only, this is one I really want us to go on.

Well. well, well...

- Oh, God! - What?

No, it's all right. Someone I know, the last place you've done.

- Oh, Jeez! - Just stick to the story we planned

should anything like this happen.

Charlie, Dorothy, what a nice surprise.

Not so good, huh?

- Well, there are possibilities. - What, specifically?

Well, for one thing, the way they're going about it. I mean, they've got to make a cock-up.

- Eventually. - Is that six, or 60 robberies?

Eventually?

It's been nice to talk to you, Paul. You won't forget to come to our get-together, will you?

Yeah, well, definitely. That is, if something doesn't crop up in the meantime, you know...

Ah-ah, you've already told me you're not busy, so not buts.

Besides, any friend of dear little Angela is a friend of mine.

- See you both again soon, then. Bye. - (Angela ) Bye, Charlie.

So glad you found somewhere you like, Dorothy.

Charlie, you are wicked! How could you?

- Wicked, my dear? - Supposing they are lovers?

Then all we're doing is enhancing their relationship.

The more daring a love affair, the more exciting it is.

Yes, but what about poor George?

The islanders have a strong French tradition, my dear.

- How the hell did you let that happen? - Let what happen? Is it my fault...?

I can't go to any garden parties as a friend of yours.

It would look a damn sight more suspicious now if you didn't.

Charlie's bound to mention you to my husband.

I don't believe this. The people we turned over will probably be there.

Well, probably. But they don't know, do they?

Charlie seemed quite convinced with the story we gave him.

If you can convince an old sceptic like him, you can convince anyone.

Me, with my style, among your lot? You've got to be joking!

Style doesn't mean that much here, darling, only money. Same as most places.

The money I've got belongs to other people.

Then you should feel quite comfortable among my lot.

(Charlie ) A lunchtime party! You know what a party is, don't you?

I don't think I'd fit in at one of your elitist soirées, Charlie.

You can always have a wash and putting fresh creases in your overalls.

For your information, a "soirée" is a social gathering that takes place of an evening.

It's amazing what a few quid will do for an awareness of the social graces, isn't it?

- Why are you inviting me? - You can take it as an overture of friendship.

You can't be comfortable, standing like that.

Is it being a policeman that makes you so antisocial?.

- (Party hubbub) - One more, please.

Thank you.

(Debbie ) It seemed a good idea now Dorothy's found a house that she should meet some of us.

(Brigadier) Abominable, that's what I say, absolutely abominable! Hello, Henry.

All this damn money we pay the police and they achieve...

Don't be silly, darling, of course you have to meet him.

Angie, I'm really beginning to think that this wasn't such a good idea after all.

But I've already mentioned you. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Look, he'll think it most odd if I don't introduce you now,

after all the... the bunny I gave him!

Dad drew up the list. Why?

Ah, Jim! So you managed to make it, then?

- Hello, Charlie. Interesting party. - You think so, do you?

I see all the robbery victims are here.

- Not all of them, surely? - No, Penny Appleby couldn't make it.

I understand she was quite helpful to you.

- Is that why she's not here? - Oh, Jim, really...

- Look, I don't know if I'm here on duty or not. - I thought policemen were never off duty!

Of course you know Mary, darling. The girl I used to work with her when we met.

- Lives in Rozel. - Oh, yes.

- Well, Paul is related. - Ah!

Actually, he's thinking of retiring over here himself, aren't you, Paul?.

Yeah, well, if things work out all right, you know...

Retiring? Well, I don't wish to appear rude but aren't you a little young to retire?

Oh, well, it's more sort of semi-retiring, really.

I mean, the business more or less runs itself.

- Scrap metal, you say? - Yeah, that's right.

- Ah. - (Camera clicking)

Bergerac! I say, Bergerac, I want a word with you.

Ah, Brigadier, and how are you?

How am I? Good God, man, you have the gall to ask me that?

Angie...

I just want to introduce Paul to someone, darling.

- See you in a bit. - Yes, of course.

- Nice to have met you. - Cheers.

There you are. I told you it would be all right.

All right? All right? Do you know who that was over there?

It's that old bastard who shot at me and Harry.

- What if he recognises me? - Don't be ridiculous, darling.

You were running away from the house. You told me so yourself. He didn't see your face.

- But I think you ought to know something. - What?

- Not that it really makes any difference... - What?

The chap he's with is that policeman I was telling you about.

That's it. I'm on my toes.

(Angela chuckling)

Hello, again.

(Charlie ) It was nice to see you again, Lyn. Don's been hiding you away for far too long!

Got a moment, Charlie? Cheers.

There's plenty of soft drinks around, if you want one.

No, thanks. The brigadier sees me with a glass, he'll report me.

I saw him bending your ear.

Who's that guy with the frizzy hair and the striped shirt, talking to Mrs Marshall?.

His name's Paul Cook. Friend of a friend, by all accounts.

He seems a nice enough young fellow. Cockney businessman.

Been on the island for some months, I understand.

Oh, excuse me, Jim, I must have a word with Arthur Clapham before he leaves.

(Camera clicking)

I don't know, Jim.

Marshall is one of the most respected businessmen on this island, and he's wealthy.

Why would his wife be involved with a villain, if indeed this bloke is one, which I doubt?

- Did you speak to him? - No. I didn't want to scare him off.

Still, he should be easy to check, shouldn't he? That's the number of his hire car.

I want you to check which firm it belongs to and check his home address

- against the address on the license. - Mm-hm.

I'll get a blow-up of these two on which his face is visible,

and wire them off to CI, see if they come with anything.

If you must.

- What? - "What?"!

You look like the worker's mafia.

I found it in the back of the van, so someone must wear it.

The bins are well over the top.

And blue overalls!

Couldn't you have got white? We're supposed to be decorators!

They're overalls, so what difference does it make?

And I don't want any nosy neighbours looking at my boat.

Right, come on, let's go!

(Tyres squealing)

George. What are you doing?

Uh, a neighbour of Jane and Peter's just phoned. Something odd going on at the house.

Odd?

How do you mean?

Did Peter say anything about having decorators in while he and Jane were away?

Darling, are you all right?

- What's the matter? - What?

Oh, no, nothing. But I've just come from feeding the dogs, and...

there was no one. I mean, there...

We'd better check, with all these burglaries going on. We'll get there quicker in this.

Come on, darling, let's go!

(Dogs barking fiercely)

There you go, my son.

I still can't see why we had to cut the holiday short.

It was completely unnecessary.

If you think I would spend another day at the hotel after the way that manager spoke to me...

- You were rude to him, for God's sake! - That's right, blame me!

I get one damned holiday a year and you have to ruin it.

For God's sake, Angela, you don't drive this slow when you're not in a hurry!

Hurry up, Harry! Those animals will eat through the door, the way they're performing.

Come and give us a hand then, this is bloody hard work!

Oh, no!

It's Angie! She's got her old man with her!

What? Oh, Christ, she must have grassed us!

Yeah, well, I'm not hanging around to find out. Come on!

I'm sorry, he's not here. Can I help?

One moment, he's just walked in.

It's for you. George Marshall.

Hello, Bergerac.

When was this?

Did you see them?

No, no, it's all right. We'll be over as soon as we can.

Something wrong?

He and his wife arrived at his brother's house to find it being robbed.

- The thieves escaped without him seeing them. - "Them"?

Yeah, a neighbour saw two men behaving suspiciously, and she phoned him instead of us.

Oh, dear! Why not call us before she started ringing her friends and relations?

- God knows! - Jim...

- Rather undermines your theory about Angela. - Why?

She'd hardly arrive at the house with her husband if she knew what was going on.

Charlotte, she is a woman. Who knows what she'd do?

- Peter, you can't do that! - Why the hell not?

You shut the door from the kitchen? How could you, for God's sake?

It was an oversight. I fed them and I simply forgot to let them out after...

- ..tax dodges. - Not so little, George.

There's nearly £100,000 in cash and jewellery in this safe.

My God! How much?

France! What the bleedin' hell do we want to go to France for?

We can't hang about here for an hour waiting for a flight to London.

They put garlic in all the food. Ruins your pulling prospects.

- Oh, do me a favour! - Dah!

(Rings )

Thank you. Hello.

Your neighbour says she say the van arrive a few minutes after you left.

I don't know what you're implying, Sergeant.

It seems a bit odd that you didn't see the van when you left.

I don't look at every passing motorist when I'm driving.

And then there's the business of the dogs.

My wife has already explained that. It was a simple oversight.

A very fortunate oversight from the point of view of the burglars.

Bearing in mind our last conversation, in which, may I remind you,

I gave you the fullest assistance,

it's perfectly clear the direction this line of questioning is taking,

and I find the implications insulting and absurd!

Oh, shut up, George! The bastards didn't go for anything else in the house,

they went straight for the safe.

No one knows where it is but us.

Peter and I certainly didn't tell them and I shouldn't think you did.

- (Barney ) Jim. - Yeah.

(Barney ) A word.

That was Charlotte on the phone.

Loathe as I am to be proved wrong, I think you may have hit the bulls-eye.

CI have been on. They've a nice fat docket on Paul Cook.

They also gave us the name of a known associate of his, one Harold James Langdon.

Will you tell them, or shall I?

Jane, do you realise what you've just said?

French police have got them in custody.

Me and Barney are flying over to bring them back.

And all of Dorothy's jewellery was found in their possession?

Yeah. Apart from a few pieces which I assume the thieves dropped in their anxiety to get away.

I hope you're not implying that I added items to the list for insurance purposes, are you, Jim?

Well, of course not, Charlie! You wouldn't do a thing like that, would you?

(Charlie chuckles )

Poor old George. He was mortified with embarrassment at Angela's involvement.

I mean, who would have thought?

- You amaze me, Charlie! - Pardon?

I said you amaze me. The way you pointed the finger at Angela Marshall

without actually being seen to do so.

That's what the party was for, wasn't it?

I'm sure I haven't got a clue what you're talking about, Jim.

You don't do much business with George Marshall, do you?

Not a lot.

I suppose you expect me to thank you, do you? Well, I'm not going to.

See you around, Charlie.

(Chuckles )