Original subtitles

(Alarm ringing)

Tony! Tony, wake up.

Wake up! There's something going on.

- What? - Can you hear it?

(Ringing continues )

That's a burglar alarm in one of the other flats.

Nothing to do with us.

Yeah, but I mean the police'll come, won't they?

Probably. You're not in trouble with the police, are you?

No, nothing like that.

It's just, well, they might come round asking a lot of questions.

- So? - They might take our names and addresses

and then my Trev might get to hear about it.

What? You never told me you were married.

No, well, we was getting on so well I didn't want to upset you.

Hmm, well...

I'm sorry, love, it's your problem. He's not gonna kill you, is he?

Oh, no, my Trev wouldn't lay a finger on me.

He's potty about me.

Good.

It's what he'd do to you I'm worried about.

What?

Yes, miss, what can I do for you?

How much are you paying a pound for carrots this month, Ernie?

You're too flash, Philippa, it's gonna get you into trouble.

(Radio ) No problems at Gatwick or Heathrow or on the ferries...

Come into the back.

Tony Blackburn on Radio London.

- Pretty, aren't they? - Mm.

I don't know why I'm wasting my time looking at these.

I know where they come from. Half of London knows where they come from.

Good. That'll us save us a lot of haggling.

Philippa, mind if I offer you a bit of fatherly advice?

No, if it's the sort of advice my real father used to give me.

The law's been breathing down your neck for months.

Then there's a whisper that there's a Hooray Henry with a sense of grievance

who can place you ten yards away from these when they got nicked.

And he seemed like such a nice boy!

So my advice, which you're at perfect liberty to disregard if you want to

is that you should take a short holiday.

Well, not too short. That is to say, 50 or 60 years.

- I can't, Ernie. - Why not?

I just can't, that's all. Why don't you retire?

Because I've got a wife and five children and several in-laws all depending on me.

You've got yourself.

And by now you're worth twice what I am.

With your looks and what you've got put by there's a hundred ways you could go.

And every one a dead end.

Oh, well, we can't have you getting bored, can we?

Of course it's only hearsay but I have it on fairly good authority

that life on the inside gets a bit tedious towards the end of the second year, Philippa.

(Philippa ) Sorry? Maybe you're right, Ernie.

Maybe I will take a short holiday.

Get in touch if you find a buyer for those.

Philippa!

Have you seen this?

Oh! George Thomas. Right little showman, isn't he?

Right little nutcase you mean. Know him?

No, not really. A mate of Charlie's.

Good. Maybe you can get Charlie to use his influence.

- Do what? - Call off this charade

in the interests of good taste if nothing else.

An appeal to George Thomas's good taste and 10p might just get you a packet of crisps.

In that case you better meet him and work out some security.

As if we didn't have enough on our plates.

- (Charlie ) Over here, Jim. - Hello, Charlie.

- Not looking for me, are you, Sergeant? - Not today.

Good, have an orange juice.

- George Thomas been in? - No, but he will be.

They're on the 18th now.

- Hey, who's the new girlfriend? - New wife you mean.

- I didn't know he'd married again. - Six months back.

Found her modelling in the Bahamas had her wedded and bedded inside a fortnight.

(Jim ) Good for him.

(Charlie ) Oh, bad luck.

What's our George been up to then?

You know about his famous diamond?

Yes. He let Fran wear it to a charity do a couple of months back.

Well, he's decided to sell it. He's got this idea of having a party

and when everyone's nice and mellow, dragging it out and auctioning it off to the highest bidder.

Sounds like George, all right.

Why should it bother you?

It doesn't, it's Inspector Crozier it bothers.

He thinks he's asking someone to have a go at it, so he wants me to talk him out of it.

Does he?

You don't stand a chance, I can tell you.

A man like that with that kind of money, why does he need to sell it?

There's your answer there.

Our Fran has expensive tastes.

If she sees a new toy, for instance, a helicopter, she can't say no.

The trouble is our George can't say no to our Fran.

Watch this.

He's like the rest of us, his capital's tied up.

He can't get hold of a lot of money when ever he feels like it.

You'll have me in tears(!)

I suppose the way he looks at it if he sells off that bauble now

he can indulge Fran's little whims for the next five or six years

without touching his real assets.

After that, he'll probably be past caring.

Tim! Champagne for everyone in the bar, on me.

- Hello, Charlie. - Hello, Fran.

- Champagne? - Certainly. What are we celebrating?

- George is buying me a new car. - Oh!

For a minute there I thought it'd be something unusual.

I won it fair and square, didn't I, Georgie?

You did, darling, you did indeed.

I know, I was watching.

Pity about that last putt, George, get something in your eye?

- Now, then, Charlie. - You're a pig, Charlie. No champagne for you.

- Remember my ex-son-in-law, Jim Bergerac? - Course, Jim, how are you?

- Fran, Jim, Jim, Fran. - Hi.

You have the right to remain silent, he's a copper!

He wants a word with you, George, professionally.

Oh, professionally, eh?

Well now, I thought I'd paid that parking ticket.

So, what have I done?

It's not what you've done, it's what you're about to do.

- Jim doesn't approve of your private auction. - (Fran ) You tell him.

- He never listens to me. - (George ) Fran!

I like being part owner of the largest diamond on the islands.

I'm not trying to stop him selling the diamond, just the way he's doing it.

- It's one hell of a security risk. - It's no problem, it's taken care of.

Didn't you read the papers?

- Can we discuss it? - Yes, but you're worrying about nothing.

The room I'm having the auction in is rigged. Electronic gizmos, shuttered windows, the lot.

Nothing like a touch of the dramas to get 'em going.

(PA) British Airways departure to Jersey.

BA 5105 to Jersey, closing now at Gate 2.

BA 5105...

(Jim ) Right.

Listen, Jim, if it makes you happier to have a few of your lads there on the night, it's fine.

- I'll get in a few extra bottles. - Yeah, that'll make 'em happier.

Do you mind if I give your place the once-over? For weak spots?

Suit yourself, anytime.

Give me a bell, we'll have a bit of nosh and then...

Oh, hang on a minute.

- Good afternoon, Maxwell. - Hello, George..

- You know Sergeant Jim Bergerac? - No, I don't.

You ought to get together. You've something in common.

He's trying to talk me out of the auction.

- With no luck, I'm quite sure. - Well, about as much as you had.

You're being very stupid, George.

I made you a fair offer. You won't do better.

You'd be lucky to get it at twice that price.

Oh, I shall get it, and at my price.

That's what he thinks, silly old ponce.

I hear he's quite an expert in jewellery.

To be fair to Maxwell, he's got some good stuff in his collection.

The trouble is, he thinks it entitles him to add my little piece to it

without rubbing shoulders with the common herd.

- Is it a fair offer? - Well, he thinks so.

- Why don't you take it? - Jim, remember, you're only here once

you've gotta have some fun before you go, right?

See you.

(Phone )

- Jim, where've you been? - (Jim ) What?

Can't stop. Charlotte will fill you in.

Just warn her off. Politely but firmly.

- Charlotte? - Told you it'd be a nuisance, didn't I?

A man just left here, looked exactly like Crozier. Said you had something?

Oh, this just came through from the Met.

Who's this, then?

Philippa Vale, also known as The Ice Maiden.

Doesn't look very chilly.

Ice as in diamonds.

Apparently the lady's very fond of them. Never steals anything else.

Why do they think she's coming?

Blind faith and navigational expertise of British airways.

She lands in 20 minutes.

- Miss Vale? - Er, yes?

- Miss Philippa Vale? - That's right.

My name's Bergerac, Bureau Des Etrangers.

That's very sweet of you but I already have an hotel.

The Bureau Des Etrangers is a branch of the Jersey Police,

as I'm sure you know perfectly well.

Why on earth should I know a thing like that?

Could we talk for a minute?

Tell me, do all first-time visitors here get the royal welcome?

No, not all.

What brings you to the island, Miss Vale?

- There is something here that I want. - What's that?

- A sun tan. - I see.

Would you mind telling me what you do when you're not lying on beaches?

Oh, the usual things. I go to the theatre, parties, I ski quite a lot.

You fond of skiing?

- What do you do for a living? - Oh, that.

Nothing, I'm afraid.

I have what they call "private means", Daddy was fearfully rich.

Actually, Daddy was fearfully poor.

According to my sources he was a second-rate artist who died broke.

Inform your sources that he was a first-rate artist.

If he was a second-rate artist he wouldn't have died broke.

You don't seem surprised that the police have a file on you.

Nothing that the police would surprise me. Can I go?

In a minute.

Are you fond of diamonds, Miss Vale?

Do you know a girl who isn't?

I thought you'd heard of a valuable diamond

that's gonna be sold by auction at a private party in a couple of days' time.

How exciting. I'll see if I can cadge myself an invitation.

I wouldn't do that.

I don't think that'd be a good idea at all.

- Really? - No.

I think you ought to concentrate on getting that suntan

and staying away from other people's houses.

I had no idea the Jersey police had the power to put certain parts of the island boundaries.

They don't. I'm just giving you a little bit of advice.

People are always giving me advice, probably because I'm so bad at taking it.

I'd take this bit of advice if I were you.

Tell me, as a matter of interest,

if I were planning to steal this diamond how exactly would you stop me?

Bye, Miss Vale. Enjoy your holiday.

Because if I want something, I'm very good at getting it.

- Are you now? - Yes.

We're all trying to get what we want and we all want as much as we can get.

Not all of us, Miss Vale.

Some of us are content to keep our noses clean and our heads above water.

I see what you mean. A sort of eternal doggy paddle.

Don't get up.

( ♪ Bananarama.. CrueL Summer)

♪ Hot summer streets and the pavements are burning

♪ I sit around

♪ Trying to smiLe but the air is so heavy... ♪

- (Alarm blares ) - (George laughing)

There. Now...

- Satisfied? - Seems reliable.

- There's banks you could break into easier. - She doesn't need to break in.

Sneak in with the guests.

She? You've got somebody in mind then?

Yeah, but don't worry. We've got an eye on her.

Good boy. This way.

- If she is a thief, why can't you arrest her? - Knowing and proving are different things.

Couldn't you sort of, say, book her on suspicion, till after the auction?

A good lawyer could get her out in two hours.

Georgie, call it off. I don't want to lose my diamond.

Call it off, pretty lady?

You'll have to do without a lot of things you want.

I've got what I want.

Then stop worrying. Jim's got it all sewn up.

Right, Jim?

Oh, no! Why me?

- Did you see where she went? - That newspaper is library property!

Sorry.

- Are you sure she lost you deliberately? - Yes.

Look, she set me up.

She's no amateur, I can tell you that.

Want me to go over it again?

Look, I've had her description circulated, that's all we can do.

(Jim ) What's she playing at?

Maybe nothing, maybe she just likes her privacy.

(Phone )

Bureau Des Etrangers.

And you think it's Philippa Vale?

Which bank?

The Standard Eastern on Rue Valène.

The bank where George Thomas keeps his diamond.

(Philippa ) Sorry to put you to all this trouble just for a few days.

A few days, a few years, my dear, we here to serve you.

- And there's nothing else I can do for you? - No, I...

Oh, hello. Come to pay off your overdraft?

- Miss Vale, Mr Templeton. - Afternoon, Sergeant.

Nothing wrong, is there?

Would you believe, I hadn't been off the plane a few minutes when somebody snatched my bag.

Ah.

I expect the sergeant's brought me some news, haven't you?

- I'd like to talk to you, yeah. - Of course.

Do you know that Mr Templeton used to play rugby for England?

- Water under the bridge. - Thank you, Mr Templeton.

I feel better knowing that my little treasure is tucked up safely in your vaults.

- Goodbye, Miss Vale. - Goodbye. Sergeant?

Why all the rigmarole about the handbag? Frightened I'll say something wrong?

- Yes. For your sake, not mine. - Oh, I'm touched.

- So, you put something in the vault? - Right.

The same vault where George Thomas keeps his diamond.

You've got diamonds on the brain. I was making a harmless little deposit.

- Then you won't mind me asking what. - Don't be silly, why should I mind?

Miss Vale, this is not a game.

I just want to tell you that if you lay a finger on that diamond,

I'll have you put away for so long people will forget your name.

- Is that clear? - Perfectly clear, thank you.

Have a nice day.

- Can I help you? - Police, Sergeant Bergerac.

Can I have a couple of words, please?

- (Whispers ) It's very inconvenient. - Sorry.

Please excuse me one tiny moment, Miss Rotherhithe.

Yes? What is it?

A young lady came this morning and made a number of purchases?

Your girl said you dealt with her.

A great many women come here every day and make a great many purchases.

This one.

- Oh, yes, I remember her. - Remember what she bought?

- Yes, wigs. - Wigs? What sort of wigs?

Just an assortment of wigs.

The kind a fashionable young lady might wear in the evening.

Would you like me to describe each one to you in detail?.

Yes, please, if you wouldn't mind.

- Thank you, Lil. - Cheer up, Jim, it may never happen.

- Already has. - Sorry I spoke.

Then I went to the library to check on what sort of books she'd read.

- And? - As far as they could tell,

they're books on the island, historical buildings, geography, stuff like that.

- What's she playing at? - I don't know.

You can't really believe she'll make a try for it at the bank?

- Then put something in the vault? - I don't know.

You concentrate on the security of Thomas's and forget this obsession with Miss Vale.

It's easy for you to say that, she's not using you as her straight man.

Yes?

- Oh, Mr Flagg. - Oh, yes. Sergeant...?

- Bergerac. - Oh yes, yes. What's the trouble?

I seem to have got myself a puncture. Do you have a wheel brace?

I'm afraid I have absolutely no idea but I imagine so.

Henry, why don't you fetch it for the Sergeant?

In fact, why don't you change his wheel?.

- It's all right. - As you like. He's paid to do that sort of thing.

Not by me he isn't.

- No Jim today? - No, it's his day off.

- Must have had a premonition. - Problems?

Nothing serious. Things usually come to head on the same day.

Yes, the thought of him lying in the sun adds insult to injury.

If he's got any sense he's stayed in bed.

Sergeant, will you be much longer?

- Almost done, Mr Flagg. - Only I live five minutes from here.

Perhaps you could hand the, er, whatever it is in when you've finished.

I've done it now.

You've had no luck talking some sense to George?

- Afraid not. - He really is a silly little man.

You think so? I rather like him.

Really? No accounting for tastes.

No.

Thank you very much, Mr Flagg.

Henry?

(Philippa ) I don't think it's your size.

Miss Vale.

What a surprise.

Or do you spend afternoons beachcombing?

No, just saw your car

I thought I'd come down and see how you were.

The currents can be tricky around here.

How sweet but I've been able to swim like a fish since I was five.

You are standing on my towel, Sergeant.

Sorry.

Thank you.

You're very trusting.

How do you know I won't knock you on the head and steal your truncheon?

You're looking for someone?

It occurred to me you might be coming down here to meet somebody.

Sergeant, I told you I came to Jersey to get a sun tan.

Yes.

Well, I'm sorry to have disturbed you.

It's all right. Stay as long as you like.

You'll have to overcome your inhibitions or get to know that stretch of coastline by heart.

I have to get back to town.

- Oh, well, just as you like. Oh, Sergeant... - Yeah?

I'll be here for another couple of hours. I don't mind if you hang about on the cliffs

and keep the Peeping Toms away

but why don't you meet me at my hotel for tea?

About four o'clock?

I would love to meet you, only I have to get back and have a shower and a shave.

- Going to a party tonight. - Lucky you.

There's gonna be some of my colleagues there.

In fact, there's going to be a great many of my colleagues there.

Prisoner's ball?.

- Be sure to enjoy yourself. - I will.

- Lil, that looks lovely. - Thank you. So do you.

Where on earth did you get that pulpit?

They're bulldozing an old church.

George bought everything that was still in decent condition.

And why not? You've got to have a sense of theatre.

- What do you think? - I expect so.

When does the famous diamond put in an appearance?

In exactly one hour. Then we shut the shutters and lock the doors.

Start pouring, girl.

What are you laughing at?

That was Terry. He went to the hotel to check on Philippa Vale.

- And? - She hasn't been back.

(Ticking)

Hello, Lil.

- Ah! Thanks. Cheers. - Cheers.

Good old George. Nothing but the best, eh?

- Evening, Maxwell. - Hello, Charles. Evening.

Are you taking part in this farce?

No, I'm just a spectator.

I'm not usually partial to blood sports but in this case I'm prepared to make an exception.

Well it's quite absurd.

Nobody can even see this wretched stone until the auction starts.

It's the most childish thing I've ever heard.

What's this, Maxwell?. Are you doubting my bonafides?

Oh really, George, you are the most clumsy clot.

Tell you what, my love, you put in the highest bid you can have experts run over that diamond

without putting pen to chequebook.

But until then, you keep your sticky fingers off it.

That's got him going, Charles.

If I were that man I don't think I'd bother.

With respect, Lil, that's why George is a millionaire and you're not.

And nothing short of nuclear war will stop Maxwell now.

Two men in here, one on each door, four scattered round the grounds, the uniform mob.

- What about the guests? - We checked them. They appear genuine.

- She'd have to be invisible then. - She surely would.

- I'm going for a walk round, mingle a bit. - If you must.

Here you are, Jim. Been saving this for you, apple juice.

Thanks a lot.

- Hey, Jim. - Hello, Charlie.

- Do you... know everyone here? - Just about.

Why? Expecting trouble?

- Mr Flagg looks a bit unhappy. - (Charlie chuckles )

- What are his chances? - Well, it sort of depends.

See the fellow with the dark glasses on?

He's got a big London syndicate behind him.

If they're prepared go all the way, Maxwell could be in for a hard night.

- Anyone else? - Hm.

All right, let's have a bit of hush. Can I have your attention?

Right now, brethren,

put away prayer books get chequebooks

because we've come to the main event of the evening the auction.

If you will cast your eyes to the curtain in the corner,

you will see the real reason for tonight's little shindig.

(Gasping)

(George ) Yes, you may well gasp.

A thing of beauty and a joy forever.

And I don't only mean the diamond, right?

(Laughter)

this diamond was saddled with an oriental curse, because it isn't.

And I'm not gonna tell you that it belonged to a maharaja who had his throat in the uprisings

cos the only one who had his throat cut was me when I bought it.

What I am gonna tell you is that only eight months ago

this diamond was conservatively - and I say conservatively -

estimated to be worth a quarter million pound sterling.

So, no muckin' about. We'll start in at 100,000.

Who's gonna start me off at 100,000?

100,000, thank you. We are started at the back.

Do I here 110? 110...and 20...and 30.

(George ) 160...and 70 and 80.

190,000 at the back there, thank you. 190,000.

We're moving now. Do I hear the 200?

200,000. Thank you.

We have new blood in the front at £200,000.

200,000...

(George ) ..and... any more?

220. Thank you, Maxwell. I thought you'd gone to sleep.

220. Do I hear 30? 30 bid here, 30.

Do I hear the 40? 40 over here.

40 and...50...

and...60.

60, 260,000. Does it go on?

280. Thank you, Maxwell. Nice to know you're still interested. 280 bid over here.

290,000. 290,000. Do I hear more? It's against you, Maxwell, 290,000.

290,000 once...

It's still against you, Maxwell.

Twice...

(Screaming)

(Crozier) Will you all please keep still.

There's no need to panic. I repeat, there is no need to panic.

Please keep calm. Keep calm!

Thank you.

(Jim ) Get the shutters open!

(Muffled struggle )

(Jim ) Stand still! Come here!

Stand still!

Come here!

Right.

Hello? Can you put out a call to all available cars?

All of them. Send them to St Martin area immediately.

All right. Keep me posted, you know where I am. Bye.

Sure she didn't come through the door?

- It's not possible. - How did she do it?

Forget your Miss Vale get security back here, we'll have a word with them.

All right.

I'm sorry about all this.

I'll try and let you go as soon as possible, just as soon as you've all been searched.

Sorry, you must appreciate that I have no alternative, I'm sorry.

- Well?. - Tell him what you said.

I almost had her. I would have done if your mate hadn't jumped on me.

- Her? Sure it was a woman? - Quite sure.

- How did she do it? - It's academic anyway.

If it was her, she'll be stopped before she gets half a mile.

Look, Inspector... Look, my wife is very upset.

That's hardly surprising.

Would you mind if she went upstairs and lay down for a while?

- I suppose that'd be all right. - Thank you.

Though she ought to be searched first.

She's hardly likely to have nicked her own diamond.

Just a minute. Excuse me, Mrs Thomas.

Some of the lady guests were upset about having to be searched.

It would help us if you could set an example.

- Yes, but... - It'll prevent a lot of ill feeling.

Couldn't I just go and lie down for a minute first?

Well, that would rather defeat the objective of the exercise.

Georgie?

He's right, love, it won't take long. Come on.

- In the study? - Yeah. Come on.

Are you all right?

What's the matter?

I'm sorry, Georgie.

You're sorry?

But I don't understand. What was the point?

- It's a fake. - What?

There was this club I used to go to before I met you, this gambling club.

This man runs it, Vic Jessel.

- I already owed him a lot of money. - Go on.

Well, anyway, that time you were in Japan I went to pay him back

and somehow he talked me into playing again.

Don't know how, I just kept losing and losing.

How much?

130,000.

Christ!

I kept trying to stall him

but in the end he said unless I paid him back he'd come straight to you.

And I had to stop him.

Why, for Christ's sake?

Because I thought you'd be angry.

I know everyone thinks I married you for your money

and I thought you'd think so too, and I didn't.

- I see. So what happened then? - (Fran ) So then he had this plan.

He knew about the diamond and he knew about somebody who could make an exact copy of it.

All I had to do was make the switch the next time I wore it.

And it'd be years before anybody noticed.

They would've noticed sooner or later.

Yes, but he said I could save up and buy it back.

Why the hell didn't you tell me?!

I didn't know what to do.

And then when you said you wanted this auction,

I knew whoever bought it would find out it was a fake.

I've been so worried.

And then when the lights went out...

I just sort of grabbed it.

You silly cow.

Well that's it, innit? There's obviously been no crime.

My property is my wife's and if she chooses to play silly buggers with it that's her business.

- (Sobbing) George... - I'll talk to you later.

Just a moment.

You say you had nothing to do with the lights being turned off?

Of course I didn't.

(Knock at door)

- Sorry, thought you'd want to know. - (Crozier) What?

There's a house across the island where the alarms have been going crazy.

- Whose house? - Flagg? Maxwell Flagg?

You really did it. Made us look like a bunch of idiots.

I told you there is no chance she can get away.

- I wouldn't bet on that. - I've the whole island...

Sir, they are holding her at the airport.

Apparently she walked up s bold as brass and tried to get on the 10:30 flight.

Sergeant, at last, a friendly face.

I wouldn't bet on that.

I've got to hand it to you, you really stuck it on us.

- I just wish I knew what the fuss was about. - You've been enjoying yourself?

You knew that stone was a fake, didn't you?

You con us into concentrating all our resources into looking after that stone

and then you take every diamond in the Maxwell Flagg collection.

That's what I'm supposed to have done? Stolen diamonds?

Yes.

And there is some proof?

Witnesses, fingerprints, something like that?

Just give us time, just give us time.

There is also the question of a device used to explode a power cable.

Somebody blew up a power cable?

Shocking, isn't it?

I don't know. First I'm a jewel thief now a terrorist.

Are you wiping the books clean

by charging me with everything that's happened on Jersey in the last month?

You are charging me with this robbery, I suppose?

- Sergeant... - She has been searched?

Her luggage has, and I gave her a once-over but I haven't done a strip search.

You better do it now, hadn't you?

I take it you have no objection?

I'd be delighted, Sergeant. You'll never get to the top if you delegate all the work.

That might look like her own hair but she bought a wig like that 24 hours ago.

Thanks for telling me.

Not a thing, I'm afraid.

What about her hair?

Well you were right it was a wig but it didn't help. Do we let her go?

- No, hold her. - What charge?

We'll work round the clock till we find something.

She's already talking about phoning a lawyer.

I bet she is.

There's the bomb, Flagg's place,

the car, something will turn up.

Morning. If I'd known the food was this good I'd have booked in sooner.

Coffee?

I've got some bad news for you.

- Really? - Yes. Told you something would turn up.

Listen, you are in very serious trouble but you can make it easier for yourself.

This is the first of fence as far as proving anything is concerned, isn't it?

So cooperate with us, tell us where you hid the diamonds

and there isn't a jury in the land that'd give you more than 12 months.

Well, you don't get anywhere if you don't try, do you?

- I take it that means I'm free to leave? - That's right.

Oh, and Miss Vale, don't count on those diamonds

seeing you through your age,

cos we are going to find them... sooner or later.

- If you think they are worth the bother. - Sorry?

Doesn't anybody ever get raped or murdered on Jersey?

You spend an inordinate amount of time

guarding the toys of wealthy idiots with more money than taste.

Oh, I see.

That's what all this is about.

The wealthy idiots with the money to buy Daddy's pictures

but not enough taste to recognise them as masterpieces.

Don't sneer at things you don't understand.

I'm not sneering.

No.

Actually you are quite straight for a copper, aren't you?

Oh, come on, Jim, snap out of it!

She's halfway to England by now anyway.

Had to keep up her little games right to the end.

Even her double bluff with the wigs.

- I think the wig was genuine vanity. - (Jim ) Hm?

She had just washed her hair.

- She what? - It was damp.

So was the inside of the wig.

Oh, I see.

She takes time off between robberies

to give her hair a quick rinse, does she?

Get the Met. The minute she steps off that plane, grab her.

Where are you going?

Come with me. Got it!

(Crozier) I hope this journey's gonna prove to be absolutely necessary?

(Jim ) She's been here before, her hair was wet when we lifted her.

Somewhere down there is the hulk of an old fishing boat.

As charted in one of the books she was studying? I'm not filled with confidence, Jim.

What more do you want?

- The odd sparkle or two wouldn't do any harm. - Give us a couple of seconds.

(Charlotte gasping)

Wow, that should make Mr Flagg very happy.

No, might make him just a little less miserable, that's all.

You won't believe this. Been on to the Met.

There was some communications cock-up about picking up your Miss Vale.

By the time somebody got to the airport she'd been gone over a quarter of an hour.

I don't believe it.

At least we can charge her when they find her.

If they find her.

Yeah. And she doesn't know we've got her stuff, does she?

And one fine day she might come back,

try and pick it up again.

I quite look forward to that.