Original subtitles

I didn't ask for the bill.

Sorry, sir, it is late, we are closing.

I should close down altogether if I was you.

I found this... in your chef's plat de jour.

What is it, Carlos?

I found a hairpin in my food.

You ate your meal, why didn't you complain?

I didn't want to cause a scene, did I?

The point is, what are you gonna do about it?

This wasn't in your food, you brought it in with you.

You're trying it on.

Now, why don't you leave quietly and don't bother to come back.

That's easy for you to say, isn't it? Not so easy to prove.

So I think I should get compensation. Damages.

Say a fiver?

Shall we settle?

All right, let's settle.

Guido, could you spare me a minute?

This gentleman is leaving.

All right, all right!

These brochures are very helpful.

They tell you the interesting places to go to and where to eat on the cheap.

Eva, there's no need to economise to that extent. We're on holiday, aren't we?

Yes, but we haven't got money to throw away.

Hey, that reminds me.

Do you think our holiday fund would stretch to an ounce of tobacco? I've run out.

Vincent, you smoke too much.

Yes, my only vice... or nearly.

(Laughs ) Where will you get tobacco at this time of night?

There's a kiosk on the harbour side, isn't there?

Ah.

- Careful! - (Groans ) Blasted table.

Hello, Mr Parkin. Are you going out?

Oh, just a bit of a stroll and... I'm out of tobacco.

Oh, I'm sorry. We only sell cigarettes from the machine.

That's all right, no. A drop of fresh air would do me good.

Something wrong with your leg?

Oh, it's... it's an old injury.

Football.

I was a professional when I was younger.

- Manchester United. - Manchester United?!

What, Bobby Charlton? Busby? They beat Benfica of Lisbon!

When were you with them? Who did you play with?

Er... well, er, there were the... Bert Trautmann, of course.

Bert Trautmann played for Manchester City, didn't he?

Oh, yeah. That's... that's right. At the same time as I played for Manchester United.

That's... that's what I mean.

You weren't limping today when you arrived, were you?

Ah, no. But, well, it's the sea air, it gets to the cartilage.

(On radio ) ♪ suddenly

♪ I'm not haLf the man I used to be... ♪

£1.10...

Wait a second. That's £1.37.

- Beautiful night. - Yeah?

There was a nice red sky earlier on.

You know what they say, "Red sky at night, shepherd's delight."

- Black now. - No, it's not. Blue.

Blue velvet and stars.

Just like it was in the western desert, in my army days.

El Alamein, Tobruk.

It was just after the barrage, we were waiting to give Rommel the push.

That's how I got this leg injury.

- (Groans in pain ) - (Dog barking)

(Groans )

- When did you last have these fixed? - Oh... oh, I'm not sure. Quite a while.

- It's your own fault, isn't it? - I suppose so.

- You were going down downhill, were you? - Mmm.

Let's have a look.

Sorry to break it up but am I missing something?

I came off the bike.

Yeah, re-running the Tour de France.

Jim's fixing the brakes so I don't have another accident.

There'll be a serious one if you're not behind your desk in ten seconds.

Thanks for your sympathy.

Jim, I want you to look into this.

Provided you are prepared to give up your career as a mechanic.

Oh, a mugging! Now there's a novelty, Barney!

All right, all right. But we need to catch some of them.

Vincent Parkin?

Yes, one of those stories that makes your blood boil.

This chap and his wife saved for years to come to Jersey, and they only arrived yesterday.

Last night he was mugged. All his money taken.

- Can't the uniforms handle this? - No, they can't.

- All right! Where are they staying? - The Royal Barge.

- It looks very interesting. - Well, it's important to Vincent Parkin!

All right! What did you eat for breakfast? Police manual?.

I haven't been in hospital for years. Not since I broke me arm.

Parachute jump, it was, in Norway. 25,000 feet.

I was eating me sandwiches on the way down and all of a sudden everything went...

There. Comfortable?

Yeah, comfortable, very.

- Hey, this reminds me of the royal cars. - Royal cars?

Yeah, Prince Philip. I was his chauffeur.

Well, that was when he Earl Mountbetten, of course.

He married Princess Elizabeth.

Our queen.

You didn't... the Duke of Edinburgh?

You were his chauffer?

Yes, I used... I used to drive them both to a secret hideout they had, in the country.

That's quite something, to have worked for the royal household.

Oh, yeah, oh, course. That ran in the family, didn't it?

'Ey, 'ey, my father was coachman to King George VI.

I can... I can remember him... I can remember him telling me

how perishing cold it was on the coaches.

I'd much rather be behind the wheel of a Daimler.

I can remember my father talking about the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh

when they came to Jersey.

- Yeah, that's right, I was there. - You weren't!

I was!

I liked the island so much that's why I came back here.

Cor, dear, oh dear, that is 30 years ago. More.

Eva, that's... that's my missus, she's German, you know.

We met when I was a prisoner of war.

We often used to think about coming back.

It was never possible, for one reason or another.

Well, until now. And then look what happens.

I go... I go and get meself mugged, don't I?

And all our holiday money stolen.

(Buzzes )

Hello, Jersey Evening Post.

Could I speak to one of your reporters?

I've got this nice little story I can give you.

- Hello, Terry. - Hello, Jim.

- This our man? - As far as I can build it up from the report.

I'm waiting for the victim to come give it me first-hand.

- And why isn't Parkin here? - He's on the lawn, being interviewed.

- Being interviewed? - He's about to become a celebrity.

Hello, Tony.

- Getting a good story, are you? - Silly season.

Even so, if muggers give people a shaking up, why not the press do the same to the police?

- Oh, again. - Public conscience, Jim.

Empty front page, more like.

Try and give us a happy ending on this one, Jim.

Try and confine your public conscience to the public buyer, Tony, will you?

Later, please.

Detective Sergeant Bergerac, from the Bureau des Etrangers.

Have you caught him yet, Sergeant?

No, we have not but we will with your help.

Would you help us with the description, please?

The eyebrows, they... weren't quite so bushy. At least I don't think so.

No, no, there is something wrong with the mouth.

- I wish I knew what it was. - Is it too big, too small, what?

I think it's the lips, they were a bit thicker.

- How's that? - That's good. That's amazing.

That's... exactly like him.

You're not working hard enough, I've been watching you.

I'll never get the hang of this stupid legal jargon.

You've heard enough of it in court.

That, as they say, is in context.

A priori... in sit...

To think when I first met you, your big dream was to be a lawyer.

There's no need now, is there? I've got you.

You are the first barrister I've ever made love to, do you know that?

You are my first ex-con.

Now what did you find out?

Well, I'm afraid he's got himself involved in a mugging.

He's what?!

(Clanging)

That bloody fool! Doesn't he realise that could jeopardise the job? My job!

All my plans, time, money.

- Perhaps we should call it off. - Course not.

It increases the risks.

I like risks.

- I should never have defended you. - Why not? You got me off.

And I'm crazy about you when you wear your black gown and wig.

No, and he never had any money.

Well, I mean, if he was married, he wouldn't have, would he?

Four kids he had.

Oh, yeah, she still likes him.

- Yeah? - Two minutes.

Hold on, Trace.

You know this guy?

Yeah.

Yeah, he came here last night. Late. I was just about to shut up.

Go on.

Well, he went on about the sky and the desert,

- and bayonets and Rommel. - Rommel?.

His time in the war. He said that's where he got his gammy leg from.

Lorna, are you stiLL there?

I said hold on, Tracey, I won't be a minute.

- How about this guy? - Oh, I know him, yeah.

You do?

Yeah, he was here an' all last night. He come in for a... Coke.

- What's it all about? - It's just, er... routine.

- Do you know his name? - Mitch.

Just Mitch?

Know where I can find him?

Tracey, you know that bloke Mitch?

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, the one that always...

Do you happen to know where he works?

(Man ) Fresh? These were caught this morning, darling. Look at this...

- You go round the side, I'll go in here. Right? - All right, mate.

- Hello, Lil. - Hello Jim. What are you doing here?

I'm looking for this guy.

- Oh, Mitch. - What, you know him too?

Oh, I know him. He's trouble. We had to throw him out the Royal Barge last night.

- What time was that? - About half past ten.

We think he's the guy who mugged your guest.

Vincent Parkin? That was terrible, wasn't it?

- Still, he is being discharged this afternoon. - Yeah, I know.

- Lost all his money, didn't he? - Every penny.

Well, he doesn't have to worry about his hotel bill.

You're an old softy, aren't you?

Well, you don't expect me to throw them out on the street, do you?

Hello, Mr Mitchell.

Back off!

And you! I'm warning you!

A call for you, Mr Dayton.

Hello?

- (Man ) Mr Dayton? - Yeah?

- Fairfax and Company. - Oh, yes. Mr Fairfax.

You wanted confirmation about the delivery from New York.

You've got the item here?

Yes sir, it will be available for your examination whenever convenient.

Thank you Mr Fairfax, very efficient of you.

My colleague and I will be around tomorrow afternoon to see it.

- Around three? - Yes sir.

How terribly, terribly efficient we are.

I would advise you ladies and gentlemen to read this story very carefully.

We rely heavily on our revenue from tourism.

So when a tourist on our island is mugged, we cannot simply sweep it under the carpet.

(Man ) Right, yeah.

Now, I know there are those who would prefer to ignore the whole thing

because it means that the measures being taken to ensure public safety

are inadequate!

Now, I demand, for all, protection against robbery and attack.

What do you suggest we do, double the police force?

No, double the efficiency of the force we already have.

(Members murmur approval)

Nothing down there, how are you getting on?

Oh, terrific! Why do I always get these jobs?

- He better get that lock back when he's done. - He will, he is very tidy.

- How long has Mitchell lived here? - I wouldn't know.

The cottage is let to a friend of his, he's away. What's he done?

Jim?

(Jim ) With initials "VP".

You see, we think they could stand for Vincent Parkin.

- Never seen it before. - But it was found in your dustbin.

Those dustbins are used by everybody, anybody could have put it in there.

Oh, yes, I'm sorry, everyone except you.

You were at The Royal Barge last night, weren't you?

I wasn't the only one! They threw me out, I could sue them.

- Vincent Parkin is staying there. - So what?

You mugged him.

You took the money and threw the wallet in the dustbin.

Prove it.

Don't worry, mate, we will.

Wilson, see that he gets a nice, comfy cell for the night.

Come on, mate.

I'd like a word, Jim.

- Time for you to go home, isn't it? - Oh, thanks.

Close the door, Jim.

- This mugging is really blowing up. - Why, what's happened now?

Charlie Hungerford's been shooting his mouth off in the state's chamber.

Oh, trust Charlie to get in on the act.

In his opinion, we're only half as efficient as we should be.

Yes, the press and television have had a field day.

Now this kind of publicity, Jim, is no good at all.

Well, we've got Mitchell.

- Has he confessed? - Well, no...

- Can we prove it? - I think we can, certainly.

The description fits, and Parkin's wallet was found in the dustbin outside his address,

we've got the identification parade tomorrow, the rest's a formality.

Right, let there be no slip-ups.

This dinner party I'm attending tonight, I noticed that Charles Hungerford's on the list...

so I want all the answers.

There must be improved policing to safeguard holiday-makers on the island.

Now, I'm happy to say that it Looks as if steps have been taken to achieve this end.

Unfortunately it wiLL come too Late for Vincent Parkin.

It wiLL not heLp him in his hour of need.

Now, as we aLL know by now,

- Mr Parkin first came to Jersey... - Lil...

- I'm listening. - ..Years ago as a trusted chauffer.

He feLL in Love with Jersey and vowed that one day he wouLd return.

He has had to wait untiL now before he couLd afford to make the trip.

And Last night, Mr Parkin was rewarded for his patience

by a thug who Left him broken and penniless.

I have today proposed that a fund be set up in this department

to which members of the public, who so wishing can contribute.

I onLy hope that it wiLL heLp to ease the pain and bitterness he must now feeL

and enable him and his wife

to enjoy the rest of their holiday in peace and comfort.

(Woman ) Thank you, Mr Hungerford...

- Hello, Marianne. - (Woman ) Now for the rest of the news.

Quite good, I thought?

Very good, Mr Hungerford, spoken from the heart.

- Yeah. Er, may I? - Of course.

Hm. Well, I expect you're wondering what I'm doing here?

Mm. Especially in evening dress. Would you like a drink?

No, thanks. I'm attending a dinner tonight.

I'm here about the Vincent Parkin fund.

I want to announce it tonight, at the dinner, officially, that is why I wanted to catch you here.

I did mention it in my broadcast.

Yes, I heard.

Now, you handle money, you know the ropes, you understand how these things are done.

So I want Kimbel and Prévost to act as trustees.

- Make it respectable, you mean? - Exactly, all above board.

I could be quite a bit involved. I hadn't realised what I was starting.

Friends at the club, business associates, have been pushing cheques at me all day long.

I don't want the responsibility if it goes wrong.

- Of course not. - Besides, people can get funny over charities.

In my position I want every penny accounted for.

Very wise, and, er, what was your contribution?

My contri... Oh, no, no, no, you don't quite understand.

- You see, I'm organising it. - Shall I put you down for...£75?

Yeah, all right.

Well, you really seem to have started something, Vincent.

Oh, you mean the fund.

- Yeah, that's gonna be very interesting. - Yes.

(Knocking)

- Ah! Sergeant Bergerac. Come in. - I'm sorry to intrude.

- That's all right. - Hello again.

Quite a little flower shop you got here.

Yeah. Giving me hay fever.

Vincent doesn't mean to sound ungrateful. People are so kind.

- This yours? - Oh, yeah, thanks.

- What do you think of that, Eva? - Is the money inside?

I'm afraid not. But we are pretty certain we got the man who attacked you.

Yeah?

We'd like you to attend an identification parade tomorrow and see if you can him out.

- We'll send a car around for you. - Um...

- Yeah, all right. - Nothing wrong, is there?

No, it's just that... you know, I haven't done anything like that before.

There's no need to worry. I've got to have the wallet back, it's part of the evidence.

I'll let you have it back as soon as I can, all right?

- OK, thank you. - Well I wish you a good night.

(Eva ) Good night. (Vincent) Good night.

Eva, do you think... you think I ought to... I mean, identify the man.

You'll have to.

It worries me. I mean what will he get? What will they do to him?

Does it matter?

Now, you know your rights, Mitchell.

Right, Mr Mitchell, if you would take your place in the line, please. Anywhere you like.

We're ready, Mr Parkin.

Right, Mr Parkin. Take your time, all right?

Take a good look, and if you see the man who attacked you on this line,

I want you to point him out to us, all right? You understand?

Start there. OK?

No. He's not there.

You're absolutely sure?

I don't think I'd know him again even if he was.

One of those men over there fits the description you gave me exactly.

I didn't give you much of a description, did I?

I told you it was dark, remember?

But I recognised him from your photofit picture!

And your wallet, with your initials, was found where he lives.

It'd be wrong to say he's there if he isn't.

Very well, Mr Parkin.

Thank you, gentlemen, you can go.

Mitchell mugged Parkin, I'm sure of it.

I know but he didn't pick him out and that is what counts.

- Have you ever asked yourself why? - Maybe it's that fund.

What, put him in a forgiving mood? I'm not buying that.

Perhaps he is just scared Mitchell's friends will come after him.

He didn't look scared to me. Just looked as if he'd made up his mind not to identify him.

What did you think you were doing, getting mixed up in a mugging?

Oh, don't be stupid. You're not suggesting I wanted to get beaten up and mugged, are you?

I'd be glad to see him inside.

Unlike some people, I don't have a lawyer at my beck and call.

I don't want any of your lip!

And another thing, how come you are staying here?

You're not exactly slumming it, are you?

It's part of the setup, Vincent.

I'm supposed to be rich! We'll all be rich after this blag.

Me and my wife should have been in this hotel.

If you're entitled to stay here, so are we.

And how would you have explained that if you were questioned?

And while we are about it, how do you explain this?

- That? - Yeah, that!

- Well, you can read, can't you? - Of course I can bloody read!

All right, all right, so I got carried away.

And so you should be. Royal chauffer my foot.

Your stories will be the death of you.

And me too, if I don't watch out.

Listen, I was having one of my creative turns. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?

Something else to tell you, I'm going to a party tomorrow... in my honour.

Party? What party? You're supposed to be lying low.

You're here for a job, not a bleedin' state visit!

What harm can I cause taking my wife to a party?

The important thing is that I didn't pick the mugger out of the line-up.

You've got to give me credit for that.

Line-up? What line-up, Vincent?

See? You've got the barrister onto you now.

Well, that's... that's why I was at the police station, isn't it?

They asked me to pick out the bloke who robbed me.

But I'll tell you something, I didn't.

- Trouble? - Could be.

Well I couldn't, could I? I realised just in time.

It could have made a court case, with me as a witness.

They might have gone all through my past, checked on my records.

In any case I... I hate courtrooms.

They seem to create a strange sense of foreboding.

How would you have liked to share a cell in Wormwood Scrubs with him, like I had to?

Guess who had the bottom bunk.

That was the delivery, right on time.

I hope your planning is as thorough as you think it is.

(Exhales ) Remarkable. Quite flawless.

Thank you for making the diamond available for inspection.

- Our client's most grateful. - It's all part of our service.

Why not? We're buying.

We leave for Kuwait tomorrow, returning Friday,

with authorisation of payment from our client's Jersey company.

Excellent, so you'll recommend purchase. I'll just lock these away again.

- I don't think he liked your accent. - You provide the cut glass.

What does that make you, rough diamond?

No unexpected changes, I'm glad to say.

They could be in league, couldn't they?

- Mmh? Yeah. - Mitchell and Parkin.

I knock you on your head and take your wallet,

they set up a fund out of sympathy, and we share the proceeds!

What do you think?

- You asleep? - (Sighs ) No, Jim, I'm not asleep.

Listen, if it was a confidence trick,

wouldn't have Mitchell have made sure he wouldn't have been arrested,

and would he have thrown the wallet in the bin,

and would Parkin have given a description of him?

Yeah, when you put it like that...

Are you sure Vincent can crack a safe like this?

- He already has. In Germany. - When was he in Germany?

He was a prisoner there during the war.

There was one of these in the Commandant's office in the camp. Vincent cracked it.

- Which camp? - Stalag 14.

Anyway all checked out.

He got 28 days solitary confinement for his pains, and a medal.

The Germans gave him a medal for cracking a safe?

Not the Krauts, the British.

Apparently there were drugs in that safe

that were needed to combat some epidemic that was raging amongst the prisoners.

The Germans wouldn't hand them over, Vincent went out and got 'em.

- It was the action of a brave man. - So our Vincent is a real hero?

Yeah. Keep an eye out for him tomorrow.

Stay close. See he don't get into any more trouble.

I will.

Yes. I must say it was very satisfying being in the royal service.

(Sighs ) Of course, I held a very trustworthy position.

Chauffer?

Yes, well, I... I did do other more trusted jobs than that.

Like what?

Well, um... various. I used to take the queen's corgis for walks.

Did you visit all the royal houses, Mr Parkin?

Pretty well, yes, with the Duke and the Princess as she was then.

Oh, they used to get around a lot.

Although they would never dream of going anywhere without me.

Really?

Well, they would have had to walk!

It must have been a very rewarding career.

Well, yes. Money wasn't too good but sufficient.

- And you what did you, um... - I'm a senator actually.

Chairman of the police committee.

Yeah, well, um... Well... would you excuse me?

Vincent was a prisoner of war in the Stalag near my home.

I used to see him on the working parties from the camp.

- Did he propose to you then? - The second time we met.

- Did he? - Yes.

My friends said he was just after the extra food rations that I gave him,

- but I knew better. - Of course you did.

I must go and find him now. He can get into mischief, even at his age.

Especially at his age!

Uh, uh, excuse me, Vincent? Vincent Parkin, this is Ashley Frazer.

- How do you do? - I expect you two have a lot to talk about.

Ashley worked for the Duke and the Princess when you were the chauffer there.

- (Woman ) Charlie? - Eh? Hang on, I'm just coming. Excuse me.

Royal chauffer were you?

I can't say I remember the face, or the name.

Well, it has changed, hasn't it? The... face I mean, not the name.

- Maybe your memory's not what it was. - Oh, my memory has never let me down.

No, the senior chauffer was a big Scots chap?

Yes, that's right, you're dead on. Jock. Well, Big Mac they called him.

He did the short runs, I did the... longer runs. Of course I was away a lot.

Well, who did you work with at Sandringham?

Er, nobody, I was by myself cos I was different to the rest of 'em.

You were taken on by Pat Simmons, were you?

That's right, you're dead on again. She was the one who hired me.

- What? - Pat Simmons, she gave me the job.

Pat Simmons was a man.

Yeah... yeah, that's... He was! I'm surprised you forgot that.

You said "she". You said it twice.

Yeah, he was a bit, um... Half the time you forget the difference, don't you?

He's in trouble. He's talking to a man who was a royal equerry.

No!

- Charles, you are the perfect host. Bye. - Bye bye.

Difficult to believe you. I remember everybody who was on that tour, and you weren't there!

What are you talking about? I was in disguise, wasn't I?

- In disguise? - Yeah, I was attached to security!

You weren't to know that, otherwise it wouldn't have been secure.

Please excuse me. Mr Parkin, it's time for the next appointment.

I'm just coming, thank you.

Well, I must say it's been very nice meeting you... again.

Do you know what? You don't look a day older, it's all coming back to me.

And you'll never believe the things I'm beginning to remember.

Mr Parkin?

They'll be thinking that we have no manners, leaving without saying goodbye.

You saved me there. But I was holding me own.

- Telling more lies! - I'm not a liar.

Just a colourful character, that's all.

You're a fool, with all your damn Walter Mitty stories.

Just keep that busy mouth of yours shut.

Frank, I'm not going through with it, I'm backing out.

Vincent, let's talk this over, shall we?

No, you don't understand. This is my chance to go straight with no problems.

Think of all the money I'll be getting from the fund.

- Straight? - Yeah.

- What do you mean straight?! - Stop it! You're not getting out of this now.

It's safer than robbery, isn't it?

- How much are you getting? - At the last count, it was about 8,000.

Then I'll make you an offer, Vincent.

- You... - A better offer.

Do the job and I'll add 10,000 to the 10,000 you were getting.

20 grand. With that sort of money, you can go straight in style.

For that kind of money I can go straight inside.

It's not just a job, Vincent, it's an opportunity,

a chance in a million to relive your past glories.

I know it's not the same as in the prison camp but the spirit's the same.

Working as a team, and remember, that safe is a Wengler Sprungfeder.

I must admit I forgot it was a Wengler safe.

It would make a fitting end to your career, Vincent.

A swan song to remember.

What do you think, Eva?

You must do what you think best, Vincent.

- Parkin's here? - That's right, James. He's changed his mind.

He now positively identifies Mitchell as the man who mugged him.

- Where is he? - With sir.

(Barney ) Come in, Jim.

Mr Parkin has come here to tell us he's changed his mind.

Yeah I know, I just heard.

Yeah, well, I... I've talked things over with my wife

and we decided I ought to do my duty and tell the truth.

As a matter of fact I was... I was sorry for him.

You were were sorry for him?

Yeah, well, I... I've had this bit of luck, you see, the fund I mean,

so, I thought... I thought to meself he's young, he is not very bright,

he hasn't got a proper job, what's he got to look forward to?

Nothing.

So I decided to do the Christian thing, that's all.

You know, be merciful, if you like and... give the young fellow a... a bit of, you know,

a bit of me own luck.

Of course, I realise now... I was wrong.

I'm not doubting your legal brain, sweetheart,

but are you sure we had to make Vincent finger that bloke?

Quite sure. The police have got an uncompleted file, a case that could open any time.

Vincent can close it.

Don't seem right somehow.

- I've worked with the police, remember? - Oh, I remember.

They'd never stop wondering why he didn't make an identification. Now he has.

Well, you better get over to The Royal Barge and bring Vincent right back as soon as you can.

I don't want him wandering about. I couldn't stand the strain if something else went wrong.

So the fellow's an imposter, eh? I thought as much.

Making money out of a pack of lies! Well, I'll soon put a stop to him.

I'm taking immediate action. I'll report back.

Thank you, Richard.

- Mother? - You called, dear?

Just been on the telephone. That Parkin chap is an imposter.

You were a fool sending that cheque to his fund.

Well I wasn't to know, was I, Ashley?

- I'm going to confront him, have it out. - Will you be back to tea?

Of course I'll be back. I want to watch the closing rounds.

But don't do anything rash, will you, dear?

I'd like a word with a Mr Parkin, please. I understand he's staying here.

- He's gone to the police station. - Just the place for him.

- When do you expect him back? - Quite soon, I should think.

Good, I'll wait. I'll have a brandy and soda please.

Right.

- Do you mind if I... - Oh, certainly.

- You were driving Mr Parkin? - That's right.

He is an imposter you know, I can prove it.

I must say I've had my own suspicions. Perhaps I could take you to him right now?

Well, I'm informed he is at the police station.

- What better place to unmask him? - Yes...

Yes, of course. Lead on.

When I was saying goodbye to Charlie,

I noticed Vincent was getting very caught up in a conversation with one of the guests.

- Who was that? - Um, Frazer, Ashley Frazer.

I don't know why but I got the feeling

there was something very tense and awkward about what they were saying.

- Did you hear what they were talking about? - No, couldn't hear.

Then Felicity, his driver, interrupted them

and mentioned something about another appointment and they both left,

except later, as they were walking past my car,

I heard her call Vincent a liar, and told him to keep his mouth shut.

Now, why would she say a thing like that?

I don't know.

It did bother me at the time but now I'm telling you it sounds ridiculous.

Oh, hang on, hang on.

Charlotte, could you pass me the telephone book?

Thanks.

(Rings )

Hello?

HeLLo, this is Sergeant Bergerac from the Bureau des Etrangers.

CouLd I speak to Mr AshLey Frazer, please?

This is his mother speaking, I'm afraid he is not here.

Ah, when do you expect him back?

He should be here now, he said he wouLd be back to tea.

I know he wants to see the final rounds of the show jumping.

He never misses it. I just don't understand it.

Do you know where he went?

Yes, to see this man they've raised the fund for.

- Parkin? - That's right.

Do you know why he went to see him?

He said Vincent Parkin was a fake. Is he, Jim?

Don't know. I just don't know what's going on.

How long did Frazer stay?

Not long. He ordered a drink and then drove off with Vincent's driver.

Oh, yeah. Vincent's driver.

- Who is she? - I've no idea.

Vincent and Eva have been getting gifts so I assumed she'd put the car at their disposal.

- The Parkins in, are they? - No, they've checked out.

- When? - About an hour ago.

They've gone to spend the rest of their holiday as someone's guests.

- Do you know where? - I've no idea.

- Well, didn't you ask? - I didn't think it was my place to ask.

(Man ) Nothing will happen to you if you behave.

We will lock you up here before we leave.

There's no point in screaming and shouting, you're miles from anywhere.

We'll phone your home tomorrow and they will come and release you.

You're too kind!

- All right? - Fine.

You know, I fancy you more in that than I'd do the wig and gown.

Van's ready.

It's all right, it's safe, it won't come off.

It had better not had.

We still got Mr Parkin's wallet.

There's nothing of any consequence in there.

Bus pass, library ticket, membership card for some club.

- There's something written on the back. - I didn't see that.

Weng... Wengler Sprungfeder. There's a doodle on it as well, Jim.

Sort of thing you do when you have a phone message.

This could have been done ages ago. Looks like a box.

You know what it reminds me of? A safe.

Charlotte, you get on the Scotland Yard computer,

see if Parkin's got a record.

- (Barney ) Where are you off to? - Going to see a friend.

- Hello, Jim! - Eric.

Nice to see you. You haven't been in for ages.

- No, I haven't. - You are you all right, are you?

- Yes, thanks. - Come and have a cup of tea.

No, I'm looking for a friend and I've just found him.

- We're all friends here. - See you in a minute.

- Jim! Sit down. - Thanks.

You're a ray of sunshine in this... sea of clouds.

What's wrong with the tea?

You can lead a brandy man to beverage, James, but you cannot make him drink.

I want some information about a safe.

Have you ever heard of a... a Spenglin... Oh, hang on.

Here you go. One of these.

A Wengler Sprungfeder?

A Wengler Sprungfeder is to a safe man

what the sub-four minute mile is to an athlete.

- Jim, it's for you. - Yeah? Oh, hang on.

Yeah, what have you got?

Vincent John Parkin. Eight convictions for safe breaking.

He's been imprisoned 16 years on and off.

Even cracked a German safe when he was a prisoner of war.

- Was it a Sprungfeder? - That's right.

Thanks.

Horatio, is there one of these Sprungfeder safes on the island?

There was, Jim, indeed there was.

In the German HQ during the occupation.

A magnificent model.

The tips of my fingers tingled whenever I thought of it.

Is it still there?

Indeed, I believe it was sold to some company.

Do you know which company?

Well...

I have this cash flow problem, Jim.

If you could see your way to perhaps, er... er...

It's diamonds, Jim.

Your answer's diamonds.

(Safe dials clicking)

- (Church bell chimes ) - (Dogs barking)

(Hoot)

Evening.

Shall I take that off you? I'm sure it's a bit heavy.

Barney?

Almost as good as one of your stories, isn't it, Vincent?

(Police radio chatter)

- (Vincent) Sergeant Bergerac? - Yeah?

- I was mugged, wasn't I? - Yeah, so?

Well, I wonder if you would be kind enough to look after my fund money while I'm away.