Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was ♪

♪ Much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must ♪

♪ Somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all ♪

♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

No fair, Bobby!

( cheering )

( yelling )

GREG: Take it out.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh!

Never, never...

( horn honks )

Hey, you guys! Look!

( brakes squeak )

MAN: Mike Brady live here?

That's right.

Sign here.

What am I signing for?

These two crates.

PETER: Two crates of what?

We don't X-ray 'em, son;

we just deliver 'em-- right?

If you say so.

CAROL: What in the world is all this?

The man said it's something for Dad.

But he doesn't know what it is.

CINDY: Do you know what it is, Mom?

I didn't order anything that big.

That crate is big enough to hold a dinosaur.

Not really.

Most species of dinosaurs were well over 30 feet long.

Oliver, is there anything you don't know?

Yeah, what's inside those crates.

And we won't know

till we open them up.

I'll get a crowbar and a hammer.

Oh, no, Peter.

Whatever's in those crates belongs to your father.

He'll open them.

You mean we have to wait till Dad gets home?

Right.

All right...

Come on, Mike, the suspense is killing us.

I have already eaten

1,100 calories' worth of fingernails.

Dad, don't you have any idea what it is or who it's from?

I'm as much in the dark

as the rest of you.

BOBBY: Hurry up, come on.

Okay, stand back, it's coming.

Stand back... There.

Hey, a pool table.

Wow!

Who would send me a pool table?

Do you like it?

Do I like what?

The pool table I sent you.

You're the one!

Mr. Mathews, my wife and I were up half the night

trying to figure out where that came from.

You mean they didn't enclose the note that I wrote?

A little poem I had on it?

I don't know what to say.

I mean, that's an extravagant gift.

Well, don't be so modest, Mike.

After all, those plans you drew up for the Whitley Project,

they landed this company a very lucrative contract

and I just wanted to show my appreciation, that's all.

Oh, boy, that's very generous.

I'm glad to do it.

I'm a real pool nut

and I hope that you are, too.

Oh, I am.

How did you guess

that a pool table would be such a perfect gift?

Ah, well, just chalk it up to experience.

Yeah.

Chalk it to ex... That's a pool joke...

Oh, yeah.

That's a good pun.

Yeah, I thought so.

I hope your wife shares

your enjoyment of the game.

Oh yeah, my wife is crazy about the pool table.

She's really crazy...

You know, I've got mine right smack-dab

in the middle of the living room.

Might not be a bad place for yours.

That's a thought.

The living room?!

Well, it was just a thought.

Well, I have another thought:

The garage, for example.

We ought to do something

to show Mr. Mathews our appreciation for the gift.

Like?

Well, like inviting him over for dinner

for an evening of pool on the table he gave us.

Yeah, that would be a very nice gesture.

We might whip up something special

in honor of the pool table-- meatballs with numbers on them.

Hey, how about carrot sticks

whittled down to look like little pool cues?

You girls keep working on the menu

and I'll call Mr. Mathews.

Hmm, looks like you're planning a pretty fancy meal

for Mr. and Mrs. Mathews.

Well, after all, Mr. Mathews is

the president of Dad's company.

Presidents sure do eat good, don't they?

Yes. On second thought, here-- take some more money.

( phone rings )

Uh, wait just a minute, girls.

Hello?

MIKE: Carol?

Oh, hi, Mike.

Carol, listen, about this dinner on Saturday

are you planning to serve soup?

Yes, I am. Why?

'Cause you better figure on adding a little more water.

Huh?!

The Thompsons are coming, too.

Mr. Mathews forgot he had a previous engagement

with the Thompsons, so I said, "Look, why don't..."

And you said, "I'm sure Carol won't mind."

Yeah. How'd you guess?

'Cause that's what you always say.

( tires skid )

Shh! You'll have to park outside.

What for?

Cindy, you're disturbing my concentration.

That's what for.

And why do you need concentration

to play a dumb game like pool?

You wouldn't think it was so dumb

if you knew the finer points of the game... like I do.

Yeah, he's terrific!

Yeah, well, I bet

both Peter and Greg could beat you.

Are you kidding? I could beat those bums

with one hand tied behind my back--

right, Oliver?

With both hands tied behind your back.

So we're bums, huh?

One lucky shot

and suddenly he's an expert.

What do you say

we clobber the supermouth?

Yeah, how about a game, champ?

Okay, let's make it nine ball.

That way, I can beat you guys quicker.

Look at him.

Care to back up your insanity

with a little bet?

Any time.

Name it.

How about the loser shines

the winner's shoes for a month?

Hey, now, that's not fair.

You guys got four feet

and he's only got two.

Don't worry about it, Oliver.

You're both on.

I take half his action.

We'll let you break.

Where's the rack?

Over there.

I warned you guys.

Anybody can sink a ball on the break.

Talk about dumb luck.

Don't worry; he'll miss.

Yeah, but it might not be until tomorrow.

I got two more pairs of dress shoes up in my closet

and I'd like them shined, polished

and returned to me before 6:00.

And be careful with these-- they're suede.

We got homework to do first.

Yeah, and you should be doing yours

instead of practicing pool.

Who cares about school?

I'm going to be

the pool champ of the whole world.

( fanfare playing, audience applauding )

( cheering )

( echoing ): For my first fabulous shot,

I will hit the yellow ball through all the red balls

across the table and into the side pocket.

( applause, cheering )

For my next shot, I will hit the two yellow balls

out from the middle of the red balls

knocking the two yellow balls into that corner pocket.

( applause, cheering )

Next, in one shot, I will knock the six yellow balls

into the six different pockets at the same time.

( cheering )

And now, I will knock the three yellow balls

into three different pockets at the same time...

...while blindfolded.

( applause, cheering )

I'm rich, I'm rich,

I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich.

I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich.

I'm rich.

Bobby, Bobby, wake up, wake up...

You were dreaming.

The next time, don't wake me up.

Why not?

Thanks to you, I just blew a million bucks.

( sputtering )

CAROL: Hi, Greg.

I just wanted to let you know I was home.

Oh, good. Good night, Greg.

Good night.

Good night.

Listen, I don't like to squeal

but did you know Bobby's out there?

Out where?

In the carport

practicing pool.

At this hour?!

Practicing pool?!

I tried to get him to come in

but he wouldn't pay any attention.

I'll get his attention

when he sees what I can do

with the other end of a pool stick.

( whispering ): Bob.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Do you know what time it is?

You shouldn't be out here.

I've got to practice

if I'm going to be champ.

Bob, look-- I think it's great

that you're practicing so hard

and you want to be good at it,

but you've got plenty of time

without staying up all night.

Plus, you've got junior high school,

you've got high school, you've got college,

and the rest of your life to be a pool champion.

But, Dad...

That's it, okay?

Well, if that's it,

I guess it has to be okay.

MARCIA: Hi.

Oh, hi, girls.

Thanks so much for going to the market for me again.

That's okay.

Old Mr. Schultz was happy to see us.

He told us to tell you you're his favorite customer.

I think he loves you.

We'll put them away.

Oh, thanks, girls.

Mike, about that dinner

at your house on Saturday night.

Oh, no problems, Mr. Mathews.

I talked to Carol.

Boy, she's delighted at having the Thompsons over, too.

Yeah, well, thank your little woman for me

but I think we'll have to call it off, after all.

Well, I'm sorry. What happened?

Well, it turns out that Hank Thompson,

who invited me and my wife,

he also invited Joe Sinclair--

the fellow from Blueprints?

Invited he and his wife.

Oh, I see.

I'm sorry about that.

Unless, of course...

What's that?

No, no, no, it'd be too big an imposition.

Just forget about it.

What is?

Asking the Sinclairs

to join us for dinner.

No, no, it's out of the question, Mike.

Just forget it. No-- I mean it.

I'm dying to see that pool table

but too much work for Carol, so forget it.

Mr. Mathews...

...tell Thompson

to bring over the Sinclairs, too.

No, I don't want to hear anything about it. Forget it.

No, please, I insist.

You insist?

I insist.

Oh, wonderful.

Thank you, thank you, Mike.

Hello.

Oh, Mike!

Don't tell me.

Don't tell me.

( sighs )

You had to go and tell me.

Yeah, it'll have to be all right, I guess.

Okay, bye.

Girls...

Don't tell me.

Back to the market again.

I think Mr. Schultz

is going to propose to you.

( chuckles )

MARCIA: Bye-bye.

Bye, kids.

Have a good time at the movies.

Marcia, you drive carefully.

I will.

Bye-bye, Mom. Bye.

Mom, you sure Bobby can't come with us?

Honey, you heard your father.

Bobby has a lot of homework

to catch up on.

Uh-uh-uh, you had your dinner.

( chuckles )

Alice... thank you.

These Swedish meatballs smell absolutely delicious.

I got the recipe from Mrs. Gonzalez.

Swedish meatballs from Mrs. Gonzalez?!

Mmm!

Well, never lost a thing in the translation.

( doorbell rings )

I'll get it, Alice.

Frances, it's nice to see you.

Mike, nice to see you.

Carol, how nice to see you.

MIKE: Hi, boss.

MATHEWS: Hi there, big fellow. How are you?

MIKE: Okay. Not bad at all.

Well, Mathew's the name

and pool is the game.

Where is it, Mike?

It's out back, in the carport.

The carport?!

Well, we haven't decided where to put it yet.

Besides, out there, all the neighbors can envy us, huh?

Say, that's a good idea.

How about a little pool tournament before dinner, men?

I've got some hors d'oeuvres ready, okay?

You ladies go right ahead.

Mike, will you lead the way?

Harry, can't pool wait?

Well, I'm sure Carol doesn't mind.

No, not at all.

Come on, fellas.

We can have hors d'oeuvres out there and drinks later.

MATHEWS: See you later, Frances.

( crickets chirping )

He ain't too sharp, Mike.

The boss hates to lose and he's not as good as he thinks he is.

Listen, don't worry, he could beat me

using an umbrella as a pool cue-- open.

( laughing )

Okay, feed the kitty. Give me the dime.

He's too good for me, fellas.

All right, all right, who's the next victim, huh?

Well, I guess that's me, Mr. Mathews.

Start digging up that dime, Joe.

There you go.

Looks like there's no beating him, fellas.

Maybe Minnesota Fats on a lucky night.

Next pigeon, please.

Joe... I'm up.

( sighs )

Good try, Mike.

Step aside and watch the master drop it.

Watch this one and weep.

The winner and still company champion.

Oh, boy.

Great, boss.

Oh, gentlemen-- my son Bob.

MIKE: Bob, that's Mr. Thompson.

Hi, Bob, how are you? Nice to meet you.

MIKE: Mr. Sinclair. Hi, Bob.

And you remember Mr. Mathews.

( chuckling ): Yeah.

Hello there, Bobby. Hi.

How are you? Good to see you.

I'm done with my homework. Can I watch?

Yeah, let him watch, Mike.

I'll show him some of the finer points of the game.

How do you like the pool table, son?

It's great and I'm real good at it, too!

That's what I like in a boy-- self-confidence.

I can beat all my friends,

and my older brothers and everybody!

Is that so? Well, how about taking me on?

I've run out of competition around here.

Well, I don't think my Dad wants me to play.

Oh... Come on, Mike.

It's all right with me.

Thanks, Dad.

Can we play nine ball, Mr. Mathews?

Nine ball?

Hey, the kid knows the jargon.

Well, you take it easy on me, will you, son?

Say, to make it interesting, how about a little bet?

Say, a pack of chewing gum, huh?

Dad?

If you've got enough left in your allowance.

Okay, it's a bet.

Go ahead, it's your break.

Say, that was a fine break, kid.

One ball in the corner pocket.

( sighs )

Two ball in the side pocket.

Two ball in the side pocket.

( mumbling ): Two ball in the side pocket.

Three ball in the side pocket.

Three ball in the side pocket.

Boy, this is fun.

Yeah, yeah, this is fun, sure.

( exhales )

Mike, if that was my kid,

I'd break his arm.

Just luck.

Eight ball in the corner pocket.

Oh!

Well, I'm sorry to break this up, gentlemen,

but dinner is ready.

Can it wait?

This is an important match.

Harry, you can play after dinner.

Oh, it's okay-- I can get these last two shots easy.

Eight and nine in the corner pocket.

Eight first.

Thanks, Mr. Mathews.

I really enjoyed it.

Yeah.

How many packs of gum do I owe you?

Gee, I don't know. Do you, Dad?

Aw, forget it, Mr. Mathews.

No, no, I made a bet.

I... want to pay off.

Well, you bet on every shot

and you kept doubling, right, Hank?

HANK: Right.

Well, that makes 256 packs of gum you owe Bobby.

Well, your credit's good. Good night, everybody.

Good night.

Let's get washed up. Yeah. Right.

Better see what our wives are up to.

See you inside.

You mean that little boy

beat you at pool?

So, I had an off night.

Besides, I couldn't concentrate

with all these crickets chirping.

Oh, Mr. Mathews, I think Bobby's beating you

was really just pure luck.

Right, Mike?

Oh, sure, just a fluke.

Oh, who am I kidding?

I was terrible, the kid was great.

Frances, I want you

to telephone first thing in the morning.

Find a worthwhile charity to donate my pool table to.

Thank goodness.

Now maybe I can get my piano

back in the living room.

Mr. Mathews, with your permission,

I have an idea.

Let us donate this table to a worthy charity.

As much as we like it and appreciate the gift,

we just don't have the room for it.

You know, maybe if I practice

and got some pointers from the kid...

Oh, that piano would've looked

so perfect right next to the sofa.

But I almost beat the boy!

What are we waiting for, Frances?

Let's eat.

Well, honey, do you think

we'll be able to get along without it?

Well, we'll just have to muddle through.

Now I can get my car in the garage.

Yeah.

Oh, no! Not again!

ALICE: We just got rid of a pool table.

Mrs. Brady.

Right.

MAN: Sign here.

Can't you take those back?

Afraid not. Brady package.

Is this it?

It's not one of those big cartons?

Nope. Have a nice day.

Thanks. MAN: Let's go!

Alice, here's a note.

( chuckles )

What is it?

"Dear Bobby, here are the 256 packages of gum

"you won in our pool game.

"Good chewing. Harry Mathews."

Now, that's really nice.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org