Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was ♪

♪ Much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must ♪

♪ Somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all ♪

♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

( doorbell rings )

I'll get it, boys.

Mrs. Brady?

Yes?

Fred Sanders, Special Agent

Federal Bureau of Investigation.

CAROL: The FBI?

SANDERS: Yes, ma'am.

Is Mr. Brady at home?

Well, yes, he is.

Step in, please.

Right this way.

Oh, uh, this is my son Bobby

and my nephew Oliver.

This is Mr. Sanders.

Are you really an FBI agent?

That's right, son.

Well, who's in trouble?

Oh, nobody's in trouble, young man.

Uh, I think my husband's in the den.

This way.

Wow, the FBI! Right here in our house!

I wonder what in the world

he wants to see my dad for.

Well, if your dad's involved with the FBI

It's got to be something really big.

Sorry to bother you, Mr. Brady, but I have to clear up

a couple of minor points on the form you filled out

for your security clearance.

Oh! I see! Security clearance?!

Relax, honey.

We're designing a building

for a classified government project

and I have to be cleared by the agency involved

before I can work on it.

It's just routine, Mrs. Brady.

The law requires it.

Aw, shucks.

I was hoping Mike was an international spy.

Thanks for your cooperation, Mr. Brady.

Oh, happy to be of service, Mr. Sanders.

And nice meeting you, Mrs. Brady.

Thank you. You, too.

Bye-bye.

Well.

Honey, what is it about those three letters: F-B-I

that always make me nervous?

Obviously, it's a guilty conscience.

Want to tell me about your sordid past?

I do not.

Hi, everybody.

ALL: Hi.

CAROL: Did we order any meat, Sam?

Oh, not today, Mrs. Brady.

This is a personal visit.

Oh. Well, the more personal, the better.

I have a favor to ask Mr. Brady.

That wasn't the kind of personal I had in mind.

A favor of Mr. Brady?

Uh, yes, but I'd rather not discuss it at this time.

Can you give us a hint?

Well, I can tell you this much:

When the proper time does come, Alice,

you will be the first to know.

Is Mr. Brady at home?

Oh, yes. He's in the den, Sam.

Go right on in.

Oh, thanks a lot.

I wonder what it is that I'm going to be the first to know.

He said it was something personal.

Requiring a favor of Mr. Brady.

Well, Mr. Brady's an architect

and architects build things

like houses and honeymoon cottages.

Alice, you don't suppose...?!

SAM: Hey, hiya, fellows.

How come you guys haven't been by the butcher shop lately?

Oh, we've been busy.

Yeah, and we're going to be even busier.

Hmm. Sounds like you're working on a pretty big project.

Yeah, big.

Yeah, well, I'm working on

a big project myself.

That's how come I gotta see your uncle.

Uh, what kind of project, Sam?

Sorry. Can't talk.

Top secret stuff.

See you later, guys.

Well, what's the favor then, Sam?

Well, I need some plans, Mr. Brady.

You see, the store next to mine is vacant.

And Mr. Gronsky-- he's my landlord--

he told me that if I want to enlarge,

he's going to give me first shot at it

but I have to let him know by Friday.

Wow. Why so soon?

Well, Gronsky's got other tenants waiting, you see.

But I don't want to make a decision

until I see some plans,

so I get an idea of what it's gonna cost me.

Now, I'd be delighted to pay you for this, Mr. Brady.

Oh, that's no problem, Sam.

I mean, Friday's a bit soon but, um...

Look, I'll tell you what I could do:

I can make you some very preliminary sketches

Yeah.

...and some very rough estimates

of what it might cost you, by then.

Oh, gee, that's terrific, Mr. Brady; that's great.

And one more little favor, if I could impose on you?

Yeah?

I want you to keep it kind of strictly confidential between us.

Yeah.

You see, if it does go through,

I want to surprise Alice--

let her know I'm a big meat mogul, huh?

I won't say a word, Sam.

Oh, great, Mr. Brady.

Oh, oh, here-- I'd like to show you

a couple of ideas that I have here, huh?

Just a couple of little sketches that I made that might help you...

Ooh... excuse the liver, Mr. Brady.

Now, right over here,

I thought we could put a counter...

What can I do to look older?

Worry a lot about looking older.

Wait'll I tell you the fantastic news!

What?

You have to keep it secret.

Oh, I love keeping secrets

more than anything.

You mean you love telling secrets

more than anything.

Oh, come on, I'm older now. You can trust me.

How can I be sure?

Oh, Marcia, trust her already,

or I'll bust!

Okay, but not a word to anyone.

It looks like Sam is finally going

to ask Alice to marry him!

That's great!

Fantastic! How do you know?

Did Sam say so?

He didn't have to.

Did Alice say so?

She didn't have to.

Did Mom say so?

She didn't have to either.

Then who told you they were getting married?

Nobody!

That's good enough for me.

Me, too.

I can't believe it!

That's great!

( humming )

You know, Oliver, you could be right.

Well, sure. It all adds up.

Yeah, but we better find out more about Sam first,

and Alice is the person to ask.

Let's grill her!

We got to take it smooth

so she doesn't know we are.

Boy, you sure do know how to operate.

Well, thanks.

I used to watch Mission: Impossible a lot.

Come on.

OLIVER: Hi, Alice.

Hi, kids.

Hey, you know, we just ran into Sam.

What a great guy Sam really is.

Yeah, Sam's super.

Well, I'm sure he'll be glad

to know he's got a fan club.

How did you happen to meet such a fantastic guy?

I met him at a dance while he was in the army.

I've still got a scar on my ankle from those combat boots.

Oh, Sam was in the army, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Did he happen to be in intelligence?

Where all the spies hang out?

As a matter of fact,

I don't know what Sam did in the army.

He never mentions it.

Well, I bet you know

a lot of other things about him, right?

Only the important things.

Like what?

He's six feet tall and 200 pounds

of unbudgeable bachelor

and anything else is trivia.

Hi, Sam.

Hi, Sam.

Hey, hey, hiya, kids.

What can I do for you?

Do you have an order of meat for us to pick up for Alice?

No.

Oh, well, we just thought we'd come by

to make sure that you didn't have one.

Oh, good.

OLIVER: Well, what's new, Sam?

Oh, nothing.

What's new with you?

Alice was telling us that you were in the army.

( chuckles )

Oh, she did, huh?

I bet you were a big hero, huh?

Well, I did my share.

OLIVER: Is that all?

We kind of expected

that you'd done something real important.

Say, how would you guys like to hear

how I stole the enemy code book single-handed?

You did?

You betcha.

It was in the middle of this enemy camp, see--

surrounded by guns and tanks and planes and whatever.

I had to overpower three guards to bust in.

With karate, huh?

( yelling )

Right. Karate, jujitsu, kung phooey-- the works.

A chop here, a kick there--

they never knew what hit them.

Then I grabbed the code book

and I took it on the run.

Didn't they capture you?

Not sly Sam, pal.

I simply borrowed a uniform

from one of the guards that I'd clobbered

and I waltzed out, neat as a pin.

Wow! I bet you got a medal for it.

Can we see it?

Uh... oh, sorry, fellows.

You see, it was a top secret mission.

Now, if they gave medals for a thing like that,

it wouldn't be top secret anymore, now, would it?

That's right.

( chuckles ): See?

SAM: Oh, hiya, Mr. Gronsky.

Excuse me, will ya, fellows?

I got some important business.

You got the plans from Brady yet, Sam?

Well, he won't have 'em till Friday.

GRONSKY: Friday is the deadline, Sam!

SAM: I know.

So, if you want to enlarge...

Ahh... would you step over here a minute, Mr. Gronsky?

( softly ): Look, I don't want those Brady kids

to hear about this, because they might tell Alice.

They're talking about the plans.

Yeah. Then that guy must be a spy, too.

Yeah, but for the other side.

He wants Sam to get the plans away from my dad.

But if that guy's the enemy,

Sam must be, too.

That's right, and if he is,

then Sam's secretly working against my dad.

You know what, Oliver? What?

...and once I see the plans, I'll have an idea of what it's gonna cost...

Sam's a double agent.

What are you doing?

Um, listen, you guys.

Oliver and I think we're onto something really big

and we want to know what you think about it.

About what?

About Sam the butcher.

What about Sam?

Well, you see, we think he's working

for the FBI and the enemy.

He's a double agent.

You mean you think he's selling hamburger to both sides?

( gasps dramatically )

( both laughing )

Come on. We're serious, you guys.

Yeah, seriously sick in the head.

Hey, why don't you guys

just get off this stupid spy kick?

Well, look at the evidence:

The FBI comes over to see Dad.

Then Sam comes over

to see Dad about some top secret plans.

Then, today, we see this suspicious-looking guy

in Sam's butcher shop asking Sam

if he's gotten the plans away from Dad yet.

Yeah.

BOBBY: So Sam must be secretly working

against Dad and the FBI.

It figures, doesn't it?

You know, Pete, I think these two guys

may be onto something big, at that.

I think you're right.

What should we do about it?

Well, you're going to have to have enough evidence on Sam

to make a conviction stick if they nab him, see?

Well, how do we do that?

The old talcum powder routine.

What's that?

Come here.

You see, uh, talcum powder

leaves traces in the hair

and on clothing under certain conditions.

What kind of conditions?

These.

( both laughing )

That was a dirty trick.

Boy, you just can't trust anyone over 12.

( ringing )

Hello.

Good morning, Sam.

Good morning, Mr. Brady.

Say, I just called up to see if the plans were ready today.

They're all ready. I finished 'em last night.

Oh, that's terrific, Mr. Brady.

Say, is it okay if I stop by this afternoon

and pick 'em up?

Sure. I'll leave 'em on my drawing board

in my den with your name on the envelope.

Oh, gee, I certainly appreciate this, Mr. Brady.

And I want you to know that,

no matter what it costs, I want to pay for it.

Don't worry about it, Sam.

Just give me my meat wholesale, okay?

( chuckling )

Yeah... okay.

Good-bye.

Mike...

Huh?

What is all this business between you and Sam?

Honey, Sam asked me, specifically,

not to mention it to anybody and I promised him I wouldn't.

I gave him my word.

Now, you wouldn't want me

to violate that confidence, would you?

Yes.

No.

Mrs. Brady?

Mrs. Brady.

What is it, Alice?!

There's an envelope here with Sam's name on it.

Yes, I know.

Mr. Brady left it for Sam to pick up.

Did he give you any kind of an inkling

of what might be inside?

Not an ink.

He clammed up like an oyster.

Alice, I'm dying to know what's inside.

You're dying?

I'm halfway between rigor and mortis.

Well, do you think you should take a little peek?

No, I better not.

I mean, that's Sam's private business

and if two people

are gonna have any kind of a relationship at all,

they've got to learn

to respect each other's privacy and trust.

Nothing fell out.

I'll get it, Alice.

Whoops! Dropped it.

Boy, they sure don't make

flimsy envelopes like they used to.

Well, whatever's in there,

I hope it's got a little white picket fence around it.

( all talking at once )

Mom, we can't decide on something,

so would you please be the tiebreaker?

What tie am I breaking?

Well, we've pooled our money,

but we can't decide

on a wedding gift for Alice and Sam.

Oh, now, that's very sweet of you kids,

but we're not even sure about the wedding yet.

Well, just in case, I think we should get them something nice,

like a kitchen appliance.

I think they'd appreciate a clock radio.

What do you think, Cindy?

Well, I think we should give them

something they really need.

What?

An electric popcorn popper.

I can see you plan to visit them a lot.

What do you vote for, Mom?

None of the above.

When it comes to weddings,

hold your horses till you're sure about the groom.

Hi, everybody.

ALL: Hi, Sam.

Say, I just stopped by to pick up some plans

that Mr. Brady left for me in his den.

Oh, yes. We've been expecting you, Sam.

Anything special in those plans?

Very special.

Is it okay

if I go get them?

Oh, sure. Go right ahead.

They're on Mr. Brady's desk, in a very strong envelope.

Oh, thank you.

( sighs )

He'd be so nice to throw rice at, wouldn't he?

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

( book hits floor )

Oh, hiya, fellas.

Uh, I just stopped by to pick something up.

I'll see you guys later. I'm in kind of a hurry.

Boy, talk about cool.

You see that?

He just waltzes in, grabs the plans,

and then waltzes back out.

That proves it.

Sam's a double agent.

Yeah.

There's only one thing to do.

We got to warn my dad.

Oh, I only wish we had a push-button phone.

( sputters )

H-Hello. Is Mr. Brady there?

Oh, he did?

Uh, no. No message.

I'll call back.

He just stepped out of his office.

We'll have to call back.

( phone rings )

Hello.

Oh, yeah, Sam.

Did you get the sketches?

I sure did, Mr. Brady,

but me and Mr. Gronsky here...

well, we're confused about a couple of things.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

Well, now, if we knew,

we wouldn't be confused, would we?

SAM: No, I mean, we just

don't understand a couple of these fancy sketches.

Uh, well, look, Sam, I'm just leaving now.

Why don't I drop by in, say, half an hour,

and we'll see if we can't straighten it all out.

Oh, that'll be terrific, Mr. Brady.

I really appreciate it. Bye.

Bye-bye.

He'll be here in a half an hour.

Good! I'll come back.

I want to get this thing settled today.

Fine, fine.

Hello.

Did Mr. Brady get back?

This is his son again.

He left again?

Well, did he say where he was going?

It's really important.

Oh, well, thanks.

Bye.

Boy, have we got a big problem.

What?

Dad's on his way to Sam's butcher shop

and if Sam gets ahold of him...

We gotta cut him off.

Hey, hiya, fellas.

What can I do for you?

Has my dad been here yet?

Not yet, but I'm expecting him any minute.

Oh, that reminds me.

I never finished that army story

I was telling you fellas when you were in here before.

Now, let's see, where did I leave off?

( sharpening knives )

SAM: Uh... oh, I remember.

I'd stolen the code book

and I was on my way back to the platoon, see,

when, suddenly, this enemy general pops up right in front of me.

But before he can get his gun up--

Choppo!

Choppo?

Choppo!

I took him completely by surprise.

So, you see, fellas, if you're ever in a jam,

the element of surprise is your best weapon.

Surprise, huh?

Oh, hiya, Mr. Gronsky.

Hello, Sam.

Did that Mr. Brady show up yet?

Not yet, but I'm expecting him any minute, any minute.

All right.

Listen, while we're waiting,

I'll check out that freezer you were complaining about.

Oh, good idea.

Excuse me a minute, will you, fellas?

They must be planning to jump my dad

and then lock him up in that freezer.

Yeah.

Remember what Sam just said:

The element of surprise is your best weapon.

Yeah!

And have we got a surprise for them.

Come on.

Okay, on three.

One... two... three!

( both gasp )

Quick, Dad, call the FBI!

Sam's a double agent!

Say what?

BOBBY: He sold you out to Gronsky!

And they're gonna freeze you!

Hold it, hold it, boys. What's going on?

( pounding )

( pounding continues, shouting muted )

What are they doing in the freezer?

We locked them in to save you.

You got to get out of here, Uncle Mike.

I don't believe this.

But, Dad!

How about that?

Me, Sam the butcher-- a spy.

Oh, me a spy, too.

Yeah, but you're just an ordinary spy.

I'm a double agent.

Oh, boys, boys.

How in the world could you boys believe something like that?

Well, I didn't at first.

But then it got easier.

I think it's partly my fault, Mr. Brady.

Those army stories I told them

were a little exaggerated.

Well, maybe so, but I hope you boys understand what can happen

when you jump to conclusions without getting all the facts.

Well, no jumping for me anymore, Uncle Mike.

Me, neither.

And locking somebody in a freezer--

you know that can be dangerous.

Well, were just gonna to keep 'em in there till you came.

Well, look, don't lock anybody in anything anymore.

Okay?

Okay, we won't.

You sure you're not mad at us?

No. It's okay, fellas.

Yeah, forget it, boys.

Me a spy.

( laughing )

Wait'll I tell the wife and kids.

I'm sorry about the whole thing, fellas.

Oh, that's okay, Mr. Brady.

But I'll tell you one thing:

This is one spy who's glad he came in from the cold.

( both guffawing )

Oh, hi, Sam.

Hi, Alice.

I just stopped by

to drop this envelope off to Mr. Brady.

Sam, you and I have been going together too long

to keep secrets from one another.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Alice,

but I'm just not ready to reveal my secret just yet.

You implied that I was involved in whatever is going on.

Well, you are, in a way.

Then I insist on knowing.

Alice...!

I not only insist-- I demand to know.

Oh, come on!

Okay, okay.

Look, I'm thinking of enlarging my butcher shop

and Mr. Brady drew up these plans for me. Huh?

That's the big secret?

So now you know.

I don't want to know.

What do you mean, you don't want to know?

Alice, look, we're not just destined for ground round.

Think of Chateaubriand.

Look, I'm changing the name. It's going to be...

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org