Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was ♪

♪ Much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must ♪

♪ Somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all ♪

♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch. ♪

Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

I'm sure you all remember Jim McDivitt,

who is one of the two astronauts on the second Gemini flight

which happened to be the eighth manned space flight.

Well, I'm your host, Mario Machado

and the show is News Event

and we're here to discuss

the current rash of UFO sightings.

Our special guest,

now Brigadier General Jim McDivitt

not only was a former astronaut,

he also claims to have seen

an unidentified flying object.

First, welcome here.

When was that, General?

It was during the flight of Gemini 4, Mario,

in June of 1965.

Could you describe this UFO for us?

Yes. It was a white object.

It if had been about, oh, that high,

it would have been about that big around

and had a long white tube sticking out of it.

Any idea what it was?

I tried to take some pictures,

but because of the way the camera was set,

and the way the light was shining on the windshield,

we never really got anything back

except a couple beautiful sunspots on the window,

nothing else.

General, let me lay it on the line.

Are you saying...

do you believe that life exists

elsewhere in the universe?

Yes, Mario, I really do.

Uh, I think it would be very naive

and really super-egotistical on our part

to believe that we're the only form of life

in all this vast, vast universe in which we live.

Here you are.

Thanks.

Could you sign it

"To my good friend, Peter Brady"?

Sure thing.

I'm his brother, Bobby.

Make me a good friend, too.

Sure thing, Bobby.

I can always use another good friend.

Hey, that UFO you saw--

were there any people in it?

I'm not really sure.

I never got close enough to find out, Bobby.

But there could have been, right?

Oh, yes, always possible. It's always possible.

That's my theory, too.

Thanks, General.

Keep up the good work.

I'll try, I'll try.

Take it easy, boys.

Okay.

Wow, I'm not going to wash that hand for a month.

Big deal-- you wouldn't wash it, anyway.

( crickets chirping )

( eerie tremolo whistling )

( fades out )

( tremolo whistling )

Hey, Pete, wake up.

Do you hear a weird noise?

Yeah, you yapping.

No, for real. Listen.

( tremolo whistling )

Yeah, I do hear a weird noise.

Sounds like it's coming from outside.

( tremolo whistling )

It's gone.

That couldn't have been an airplane.

Not moving like that.

Bobby, do you know what we just saw?

Yeah, a UFO!

A real, live unidentified flying object!

Wow.

Hi, Mr. Brady. Hi, Alice. Hi, honey.

Hello, sweetheart.

BOTH: Mm.

Oh, Mike, no, no, please!

You can have the apple back.

Can I have my teeth back?

She's trying to photograph the fruit

for her contest, Mr. Brady.

Oh...

I see.

Well, if you ask me

your arrangement looks a little, um...

staged and formal.

Well, look, how do you tell a bowl of fruit

to relax and look casual?

Besides...

I don't remember asking you.

Hi, Mom.

Hi. Hi.

Hey, kids, wait a minute!

You're eating my picture!

( sighs )

...guys in junior high

would be smarter.

Yeah, the guys in my school

probably think the world's still flat.

Hello, boys. Is something wrong?

Yeah, nobody in my school believes I saw a UFO.

They laughed at me in my school.

Well, you boys believe what you want to believe

and let them believe what they want to believe.

Mom, you don't understand.

Our reputations are at stake.

We need some proof we saw a UFO

Well, if it shows up again

ask Flash Brady here.

She'll take some pictures of it for you.

Hey, that's a good idea!

Mom, can we borrow your camera tonight?

We'll take super care of it.

We'll camp out in the backyard,

and if it shows up, we'll have all the proof we need.

Hold it, fellas.

Not so fast about the backyard.

Oh, please, Dad?

We sleep in our sleeping bags

when we go camping.

This is right in our own backyard. Please?

Well, okay, you can camp out,

but on two conditions.

Two conditions?

Right. One,

you promise to get some sleep

'cause tonight's a school night.

And two, when a UFO lands,

don't wake us up in the middle of the night

to go out and greet them.

Okay.

You sure you know how to work that thing?

Yeah, Mom showed me.

You got any film in it?

Of course.

It's pretty dark out here.

You got the right opening on it?

It's opened all the way.

Remember the lens cap. Don't forget about that.

Bobby, I took off the lens cap.

Now it's all set.

Now why don't you get to sleep

and I'll take first watch?

How do you expect me to sleep at a time like this?

Okay, you watch east and I'll watch the west.

Good idea!

( crickets chirping )

Which way's east?

Over there.

Hey, did the UFO land yet?

No. Do you see one?

Oh, well, we thought

maybe you hid it in your sleeping bags.

Look, if you just came out

to make jokes, you can leave.

Yeah.

Oh, we believe in flying objects, Peter.

It's just that flying objects

don't believe in us.

Listen, if you guys

aren't out of here in three seconds,

you're both going to be flying objects.

Ooh, quiver.

Quake, quake.

Blast off!

It's getting pretty late.

Yeah.

UFOs are sure undependable.

( eerie tremolo whistling )

The UFO!

It's back!

( tremolo whistling )

Don't just lie there, take a picture!

Come on! Get out!

Hurry up!

( shutter clicking )

( tremolo whistling )

You getting good pictures?

Yeah, but I wish it'd stand still.

Greg, what are you doing

with that flashlight?

Um...

I was scaring a cat off the back fence.

Hey, it's gone.

Just disappeared into nothing.

I don't see any cat.

Of course not, I scared it away.

What are you doing here?

You wanted to borrow my thermos

for your fishing trip.

Oh, yeah, thanks.

Keep looking.

That UFO might come back.

So you're the UFO.

Isn't that kind of a dirty trick?

I was just getting even with those two creeps

for telling Mom and Dad I got home late Saturday night.

Well, it's still a dirty trick...

but I love it, because they squealed on me last week, too.

( both laugh )

How does it work?

Let me show you.

I strung up a piece of fishing line

over the arbor between those trees.

Then I hid a clear plastic curtain

behind one of the trees.

I use this cord to pull it out.

Then I just flash this red light on it,

blow this whistle,

and presto-- instant UFO.

( tremolo whistling )

( suppresses laugh )

Peter, the UFO!

I see it!

Hurry up Take pictures!

Greg, you're a genius!

Can I try it?

Okay. Hold it steady.

Okay.

Like that?

Yeah. Don't hit the trees.

Okay.

( shutter clicking )

Wow!

Boy, are these going to be great pictures!

Yeah, wait till the guys at school see them!

Wait till the world sees them!

We'll be famous!

Take pictures!

Hey, you want to see your 12 kids?

12? How did we get 12?

I double-exposed the negative. Look.

( frantic knocking )

Come in.

Dad, we saw it again!

The UFO was here!

And this time we got proof on film!

Oh, boys, you really think you saw something?

Honest, Dad.

Double honest.

Mom, will you develop the film for us?

Sure, first thing in the morning.

We mean now.

Oh, honey, it's late

and everything's put away. In the morning.

But the morning's a long way off.

We'll toss and turn all night.

We won't get any sleep.

We'll risk it.

Hit the sack.

Good night, boys.

Sleep well.

Mike, what do you suppose they really saw?

Beats me.

Do you think there are UFOs?

Well, anything's possible.

( sighs )

( loud engine approaching )

( electronic warbling )

One small step for spacemen,

one giant step for Kaplutians.

Come on, honey.

Look, Herlo, space creature.

Strange looking.

Huh.

Round head, weird white color.

Are you friend or enemy?

Oh, I'm a friend.

Welcome to Earth.

Earth? Is that what they call this planet?

Uh-huh. Where are you from?

Oh, we're from Kaplutus.

Kaplutus? Where's that?

Everybody knows where Kaplutus is.

It's between Selma and Varda.

Are all Kaplutians your size?

No.

Are all Earth people your size?

Oh, no.

Here on Earth, I'm very small.

On Kaplutus, we're very big.

Hey, can I take a picture of you

so I can prove you were here?

Sure.

My hair must look a mess

after that ten- billion-mile trip.

Women.

Smile.

Honey, why don't we take this strange-looking creature

back home with us to prove there's life on other planets?

A good idea, darling.

How would you like to come to our planet

and visit civilization?

Boy, would I? How long would it take?

Oh, short time.

I'll have you back in 3,000 years.

3,000 years?

Only ten minutes your time, honey.

Wow.

Then I'm going on a flying saucer.

Bye!

( engines accelerating )

I'm going on a flying saucer... a flying saucer...

going on a flying saucer.

Bobby, wake up!

Huh?

You were dreaming about a trip

on a flying saucer.

Yeah.

And I was going to be a basketball star on Kaplutus.

Hurry up, Mom.

The world's waiting to see our pictures.

Will you relax, Peter?

These prints take a long time.

Hey, Pete, what if Mom ruins them?

She won't ruin them.

Will you?

Remember, she's an amateur.

Maybe we should have taken them

to a professional.

Gee, thanks a lot.

I'm overwhelmed by your under-confidence.

Anybody for more flapjacks?

Hot off the griddle and still flapping?

Oh, me, Alice, please. Me, too.

No, thanks, I got to get going.

Mm, same here.

Aren't you two going to stick around

and see how Peter and Bobby's UFO pictures turned out?

No. In their case, I think UFO means

"undoubtedly flipped out."

Hey, Alice, if any space creatures do show up,

give them some flapjacks

and tell them to stick around a while.

Do you think Peter and Bobby

really did see a UFO?

I think they saw something.

Something shaped like a cigar.

Look at this!

Proof! We got it! We got it!

Look, a real UFO.

In the flesh.

Alice, look, there really is something on that film.

Right there.

That sort of blob.

That really does look like a UFO.

Looks so tiny.

BOBBY: What do you mean, tiny?!

That's your average-sized UFO.

That's a UFO, all right.

Sure. We'd better call the newspapers.

And tell them we've identified

an unidentified flying object.

Hey, hold it, boys, hold it.

You're not going anywhere

until your father gets home from work

and takes a look at those pictures.

Well, Mike, what do you think?

Well, I've come to a conclusion.

And?

They're either UFOs

or they're not UFOs.

How's that for a definite maybe?

Even your maybe doesn't sound very definite.

I've never seen very many UFOs.

Well, what do you think we ought to do?

Pass the buck to somebody

who should know more about it than we do.

( clears throat )

Operator, could you give me the number, please

for Carter Air Force Base?

( doorbell rings )

( whistles )

Mrs. Brady, please.

I'm Captain McCartney.

You selling tickets to the policeman's ball

or is this a bust?

( laughs )

I'm here to investigate an alleged sighting

of an alleged UFO.

Oh, that.

Come in, please.

I thought Mr. Brady

reported that to the Air Force.

He did, but the Air Force

stuck the police department with it.

You see, the Air Force refuses

to keep investigating things that don't exist.

And I share their opinion.

Then how come you're here

investigating something that doesn't exist?

Because I only have two more years to go

for my pension.

Oh.

You say these photos are genuine, Mr. Brady?

Yes, that's right, Captain.

I took them myself. With Mom's camera.

And I developed them, Captain.

Well, this could be anything-- weather balloon...

reflection, swamp gas.

We don't have a swamp in our backyard.

Well, whatever it is, it's definitely not a... UFO

How can you be so certain, Captain?

Because there are no UFOs, Mr. Brady.

I've investigated hundreds of sightings of UFOs

and the green people, and you'd be amazed

how many of them stagger into the station

on Saturday night.

What's going on?

Oh, Captain McCartney is here to investigate

the UFO Pictures that Peter took.

Oh, no.

Uh, Dad, I have to talk to you.

Later.

It's urgent, Dad.

Later, Greg.

It's really urgent, it can't wait.

Excuse me, Captain. Excuse us, Captain.

( pulley squeaking )

I use this cord to pull out the plastic curtain.

And then I get this flashlight and this whistle,

flash it on the screen--

there's your UFO.

( eerie tremolo whistling )

Well, I think we've wasted enough time

on this UFO nonsense, Mrs. Brady.

Good night, and...

( eerie whistling ) What's that?

Our UFO!

It's back!

Uh, uh...

BOBBY: Hey, our UFO. It's back!

( talking excitedly )

Well, what do you say now, Captain?

I actually saw one.

Where's the phone? I got to report this.

Right over there.

Uh, uh, Captain, maybe you can wait.

Nonsense, young lady.

Sergeant? Captain McCartney. I want to report a UFO.

Alert the air defense command immediately.

Hey, it's gone again.

Don't argue with me, sarge.

Don't you think I know a UFO?

I saw it with my own eyes.

Oh, uh... ( clears throat )

son-- you with the camera.

Get a picture of me reporting this.

Sure.

I'm really sorry about the whole thing, Dad.

It was a pretty silly thing to do.

Never thought it would get this out of hand.

I guess I got some explaining to do.

Mm-hmm.

Not only to me...

Yeah.

I wonder what Captain McCartney's going to say.

I knew it was a hoax!

There's no such thing as UFOs.

They're all fakes and phonies...

But you reported it to your office, Captain.

I'll keep my mouth shut

if you keep your mouth shut.

It's a deal.

I won't tell anyone

about your phone call to the sergeant

if you won't tell anyone about my UFO.

Deal.

( sighs )

I hope you realize how your joke

nearly snowballed into an avalanche.

I sure do, Mom.

Now I got to figure out

a way to make it up to Peter and Bobby.

They're really down on me.

Well, Greg, you'll have plenty of time to think about it

because you just lost the car for this weekend.

This weekend's my big fishing trip, Dad.

Well, I'm afraid you'll have to tell

the fish that you were grounded.

Grounded?

But all the guys are expecting

to meet me up there.

Sorry, Greg.

No car.

How am I going to get there without a car?

Well, I guess you'll just have to hitch a ride on a UFO

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org