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00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:06,464
♪ Here's the story
of a lovely lady ♪
2
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:10,260
♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪
3
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:15,098
♪ All of them had hair of gold,
like their mother ♪
4
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,101
♪ The youngest one in curls. ♪
5
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,896
♪ It's the story
of a man named Brady ♪
6
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:25,692
♪ who was busy
with three boys of his own ♪
7
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:29,279
♪ They were four men
living all together ♪
8
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,282
♪ Yet they were all alone. ♪
9
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:36,327
♪ Till the one day
when the lady met this fellow ♪
10
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:40,123
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
11
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:43,918
♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
12
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,130
♪ That's the way we all became
the Brady Bunch ♪
13
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:51,509
♪ The Brady Bunch,
the Brady Bunch ♪
14
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:55,305
♪ That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch. ♪
15
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:58,725
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
16
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,776
( recording of ballet music
playing )
17
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,336
( music stops )
18
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:11,131
Okay, kids, that's fine
for today, thank you.
19
00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:13,049
What about the
recital, Miss Clairette?
20
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,677
Well, those of you
who have been chosen
to participate
21
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,971
will find your names
on the bulletin board.
22
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,557
Jan, may I see
you a moment?
23
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,934
( girls talking excitedly )
24
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,435
Yes, Miss Clairette?
25
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,564
Jan, dear, I know how hard
you've tried in class...
26
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:30,233
You don't have to tell
me, Miss Clairette.
27
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,484
I'm not
in the recital.
28
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,236
I'm sorry, but you know
29
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:36,447
ballet comes much easier
to some than to others.
30
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,491
And I'm one
of the others.
31
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,660
There'll be
future recitals.
32
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,788
Thanks, but I won't
be around for them.
33
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,429
Hey, honey, how
was ballet class?
34
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,638
Awful.
35
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,100
Jan?
36
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:11,107
Marcia and Cindy told
me about the recital.
37
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,942
I'm really sorry, honey.
38
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,444
They also told me
39
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:17,030
you quit your
ballet class.
40
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:20,074
Mom, I'm about
as graceful in
ballet slippers
41
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,327
as an elephant is
in ice skates.
42
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,287
Oh, Jan, you can't
be all that bad.
43
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,663
I am.
44
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:28,333
I'm the stumblefoot
of the century.
45
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,251
And I really
wanted to dance.
46
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:33,546
Well, honey,
maybe ballet just
isn't your thing.
47
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,090
Sure, but what is
my thing?
48
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,885
Well, there are
other kinds of
dancing, you know.
49
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,679
Miss Clairette's school
teaches tap, jazz, folk.
50
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,181
Yeah, that's true.
51
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:48,228
Well, you'll never
know unless you try.
52
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,355
Think about it.
53
00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:57,946
Listen, it took me
three days
54
00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,530
to get prepared
for this.
55
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:00,573
What's it called?
56
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,825
Souffle aux trois fromages.
57
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,911
Ooh-la-la.
58
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,663
Please, a little
less breathing
59
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,539
until I get this
into the oven.
60
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:09,707
Would you...
61
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,502
Hey, everybody!
62
00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:13,544
Get a load of this.
63
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,006
I took your advice, Mom.
64
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,800
I'm taking up tap dancing
in Miss Clairette's school.
65
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:20,510
( yelling ):
So I hear.
66
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:25,723
That's why I've been coming home
late these past few days.
67
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,433
I wanted to surprise you.
68
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:30,061
I'll bet the kitchen
floor is, too.
69
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,604
Look what I learned today.
70
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,318
Hey, hey!
71
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,621
Couldn't you dance in place?
72
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:51,791
I'm sorry, Dad.
73
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,508
Was tap dancing
your idea?
74
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,175
I guess so.
75
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:05,638
I suggested that
she try another
kind of dancing
76
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,056
to cheer her up.
77
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,434
What about
the old soft shoe?
78
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:11,811
Okay, you ready
to record?
79
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:12,895
Yeah.
80
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,314
Okay, go.
81
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:16,107
( Begins playing
soft folk tune )
82
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,775
( tapping from other room )
83
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,534
Guess who?
84
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,703
The blonde woodpecker.
85
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:29,620
Jan!
86
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,544
I'm trying to learn a routine.
87
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,601
Now look what she's done.
88
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,978
Maybe we can glue
it back together.
89
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,563
That's not the problem.
90
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,191
What do we do about
us coming unglued?
91
00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,360
Yeah.
92
00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:01,527
BOBBY:
Dad?
93
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:02,570
Ask your mother.
94
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:03,738
I've got to
go to work.
95
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,823
Mom, will you do
something about Jan?
96
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,117
I'm beginning
to hear tap
in my sleep.
97
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,036
We'll talk about
it later, okay?
98
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,622
Have a good day,
bye-bye!
99
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,123
Good morning.
Hi.
100
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,542
Mom, you've got
to do something
about Jan.
101
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:17,752
She's really
bugging us.
102
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,462
Talk about noise pollution.
103
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,338
Aw, be patient
with her, kids.
104
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:24,217
I'm sure after a few more
lessons she'll get
much better at it.
105
00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:25,551
No way.
106
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,929
I saw a bear on TV
do a better tap dance.
107
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,599
Mom, Jan really
has no talent
for tap dance.
108
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:32,892
Marcia...
109
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,644
no, I guess I don't.
110
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,938
I'm sorry, Jan.
111
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,981
I didn't mean to hurt
your feelings.
112
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,566
That's okay,
you're right.
113
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,402
I have no talent
for tap dancing.
114
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,653
In fact, I have
no talent
115
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:44,904
for anything at all.
116
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,198
Now, Jan,
that is not true.
117
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,741
Yes, it is.
118
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,330
I didn't know Jan was there.
119
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:54,997
Jan just has
to keep looking
120
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,792
until she finds something
she really does well.
121
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,254
Hey... I've got an idea.
122
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:04,549
Maybe I know just the thing
for Jan to do.
123
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,343
I'll check with her
right after school.
124
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,052
Marcia, what is it?
125
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:10,972
Just as soon
as I arrange it,
I'll let you know.
126
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:12,723
Oh, here, here.
Here's your lunch.
127
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,350
Have a good day.
128
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,893
Bye-bye. You too.
129
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,311
You look great, Jan.
130
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,397
Better than when I
was a drum majorette.
Thanks.
131
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,441
And you know, being
a drum majorette
132
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,942
has lots of
fringe benefits.
133
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,152
Like what?
134
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,446
Well, like a band
full of boys.
135
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:27,780
Oh, I hope
I can do this.
136
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,115
If I can,
anybody can.
137
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,492
It's a cinch.
138
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:38,082
That was a good idea
Marcia had.
139
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,751
Jan looks so cute
in the hat.
140
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,592
Well, here,
let me show you.
141
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:48,801
Okay.
142
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,387
Now, you hold it
right about there.
143
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,222
Get it going.
144
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,391
Now, at first,
you hold your
wrist like this
145
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,393
so you can get used
to the twirling
motion, see?
146
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,436
Think you got it?
147
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,480
Yeah, I think so.
148
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:00,771
Okay, now try it.
Okay.
149
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:03,232
Hold it right.
150
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,859
Good.
151
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,824
Hey, you're getting
the hang of it!
152
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:12,700
Great!
153
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:13,784
Faster!
154
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,869
Come on!
155
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,621
Faster!
156
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:17,747
Now toss it.
157
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,750
( glass shatters )
158
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,673
Lucky we saw
that coming.
159
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,137
Why don't you say it?!
160
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,014
I'm strictly
a no-talent!
161
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,475
I'll never be good
at anything.
162
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,851
Never!
163
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,492
Uh-uh-uh.
164
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,826
I'm ashamed
of myself, Greg
165
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,745
and I will never
do it again...
166
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,121
unless I think
it'll help.
167
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:03,960
( door closes )
168
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,461
Hi.
Anybody for
hot chocolate?
169
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:06,629
Oh, great, Alice.
170
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,256
Hey, how'd the
ballet recital go?
171
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,840
Marcia and Cindy
were terrific.
172
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,717
They were
the best in
the class.
173
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,554
Mom, Dad, don't be
so unbiased.
174
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,764
Everything okay at home?
175
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,890
Everything but Jan.
176
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,600
She hasn't left her room
all night.
177
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,438
I tried to talk to her,
but on a scale from one to ten
178
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,691
she figures herself
at about minus three.
179
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,609
Jan's a big girl now.
180
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,236
She's going to have
to learn to face
that kind of a problem.
181
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,362
Well, you two girls
get to bed
182
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,822
right after the
hot chocolate, okay?
183
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:33,948
Good-night, Alice.
Good night.
184
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,283
Good night, Greg.
Good night.
185
00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:37,577
MIKE:
Good-night, all.
186
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,788
Poor Jan.
187
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,915
She must be the most
miserable member
188
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,417
of this whole
human race.
189
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,210
And that's
a race you
can't quit.
190
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,837
And it's the only
race in town.
191
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:50,923
Problem is she's
lost all her
self-confidence.
192
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,467
And the question is,
how does she get it back?
193
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,595
Simple-- all
she has to be
194
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,763
is good at something
instead of bad.
195
00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,266
Someday there'll be
a pill we can take
196
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,350
for instant good.
197
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,102
Wait a minute,
there is a way
198
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,770
she can be instant good.
199
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,105
It just might work.
200
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,231
It's worth a try.
201
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,858
Okay by me.
202
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:09,483
Okay by me, too
203
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,403
and I don't know what
you're talking about.
204
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,743
Okay, now make it
sound legitimate
205
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,745
so Jan doesn't
get suspicious.
206
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:21,954
Right.
207
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,497
Boy, it'll be
the first time
208
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,333
I've ever thrown
a ping-pong game.
209
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,459
Here she comes.
210
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,044
Greg, we just
don't have time
211
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,170
to play
ping-pong.
212
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:30,963
But I need the practice.
213
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:31,631
I'm sorry.
214
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,216
You'll have to find
somebody else. We're busy.
215
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,094
Jan, how would
you like to do me
216
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,262
a really big favor?
217
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,639
What?
218
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,057
Well, I'm entering this
ping-pong contest
219
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,767
and I need all
the practice I can get.
220
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,310
You want to
practice with me?
221
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,936
I can't practice
by myself.
222
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,104
Well, okay, but
I'm not very good.
223
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,981
Oh, hey, don't
worry about it.
224
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,232
Listen, you'd
be doing me
225
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:51,984
a really big
favor, thanks.
226
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:54,904
Ready?
227
00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:55,988
Yeah.
228
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:01,994
Good shot.
229
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,214
What kind of a spin
did you put on the ball?
230
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:15,299
One for me.
231
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:16,884
You serve again.
232
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,514
You did it again--
are you sure
233
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,974
you haven't been practicing
on the side?
234
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:25,601
No, honest.
235
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:29,689
You're better than you think.
236
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:31,982
20-17-- Game point.
237
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,359
Yeah.
238
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,696
That's it! I won!
239
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,322
I actually beat you!
240
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,490
I won!
241
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,909
Look, do me
another favor, huh?
242
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,494
Don't tell
Peter and Bobby.
243
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,745
I'd never
live it down.
244
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,455
Sure, I'll protect you.
245
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:48,582
Thanks, Jan. Good game.
246
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,130
And I own
that hotel, too
247
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:56,340
and you owe me
$1,500 besides.
248
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,800
That wipes me out.
249
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,093
You win again, Jan.
250
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,637
Do you want to play
one more time?
251
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,640
No way-- you're
too good for me.
252
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,059
You're a financial
genius.
253
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,562
I guess I am pretty good.
254
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,605
You're a regular
Howard Hughes.
255
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,650
See you later.
256
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,908
Man, she's sandbagging us.
257
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,368
Yeah, I thought you said
258
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,953
you weren't
any good at darts.
259
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,246
I didn't think I was.
260
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,789
Oh, this gives me
40 points.
261
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,708
You're skunking us.
262
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,334
Well, we can't
all be winners.
263
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:35,045
I'll practice, and I'll
challenge you tomorrow.
264
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,797
Any time.
265
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:39,800
Great. No girl's
going to beat me.
266
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,638
You're a better actor
than Richard Burton.
267
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,767
You're a better actor
than Elizabeth Taylor.
268
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,853
MIKE:
Help! Somebody
lend a hand!
269
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,563
Oh, well,
I'm on my way.
270
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,315
I'm about to
lose the eggs.
271
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,399
Alice, quick.
272
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:58,402
I got it, I got it.
273
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,945
Oh, honey,
what's in the bag?
274
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:02,364
Sorry, every item is
classified top secret.
275
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:03,783
For that
gourmet dinner
276
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,493
you're going to
cook, Mr. Brady?
277
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,869
Yes, and anyone
caught snooping
278
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,162
gets the firing squad.
279
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,789
Alice, I think I know
280
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,999
why he's keeping Saturday's
menu such a secret.
281
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,000
Why, Mrs. Brady?
282
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,335
So when he messes it up
283
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,253
we won't know what
it was supposed to be.
284
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,714
They do say
that 90% of the
domestic accidents
285
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:19,924
occur in the kitchen.
286
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,175
Laugh if you must
287
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,219
but remember what
I said: top secret.
288
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,137
Ooh.
289
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,680
CINDY:
Anybody seen Jan?
290
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,682
She went to
the library,
honey-- why?
291
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:29,850
Oh, I just thought
292
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,769
I'd let her beat
me at checkers.
293
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,103
Why would you want
to do that?
294
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,396
To give her confidence.
295
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,315
To make her think
she's good at something.
296
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,024
That's what
we've been doing.
297
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,069
How long do you
and your brothers
and sisters
298
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,570
plan to keep
losing to Jan?
299
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,989
I don't know...
a couple of months.
300
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,449
I'll ask Greg.
301
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,535
Cindy, look, it's nice that
you kids want to help Jan
302
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,745
but you're not being
very honest with her
if you do that.
303
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:51,080
Honey, it's not
a real victory
304
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,332
if everybody's just
pretending to lose.
305
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,794
I guess you're right.
306
00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:02,049
So I'm speaking for all
the kids-- we're sorry.
307
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,552
We were only trying to help.
308
00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:05,678
Yeah, well, thanks
309
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,513
for what you're
trying to do.
310
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,765
Greg, why don't
you go round
up the kids
311
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:10,891
for dinner, okay?
312
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,101
Okay, they're out in back.
313
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,520
You know, I would say
that goes to prove
314
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,439
how much your
brothers and sisters
care about you.
315
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,441
It also proves
something else--
316
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,861
it proves that
everybody feels sorry
317
00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:23,737
for little Jan Brady,
the loser.
318
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,490
That's exactly
what I am, a born loser.
319
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,533
Jan...
320
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,367
Wait a minute, honey.
321
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,953
Listen, all they're
trying to do is give
you a little confidence.
322
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,371
I do have confidence--
323
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:35,040
I'm confident that
I'm a no-talent loser.
324
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,084
No, no, everyone has
talent somewhere
325
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,211
and you'll never
find where yours lies
326
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:40,379
if you quit trying.
327
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,839
Your father's
right, Jan.
328
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,507
You have to keep
trying in life.
329
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,718
You'll never succeed
at anything if
you're a quitter.
330
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,928
But I don't know
what else to try.
331
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,472
I'm sure there are lots
of things she could do.
332
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,057
There are all
kinds of things
333
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,475
going on at school.
334
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:55,185
There are club activities,
there are plays...
335
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:56,854
Plays-- that's
a good idea.
Yes.
336
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,939
Why don't you look
into that tomorrow?
337
00:14:58,981 --> 00:14:59,815
Maybe I will.
338
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,567
Promise.
339
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,944
Okay, I promise.
340
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:06,155
I guess I've got
nothing to lose.
341
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,324
Nothing except your no-talent.
342
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:13,621
Hi, Mrs. Brady.
343
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:15,497
How about a little
afternoon snack?
344
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:16,665
Oh, no thanks, Alice.
345
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,958
I wish
you'd say yes.
346
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,751
Why?
347
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:22,546
So I could peek at
the food Mr. Brady
has in the freezer.
348
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,881
Now, Alice,
we promised.
349
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,967
You're right, I'll wash
my mouth out with soap
350
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,260
for even suggesting it.
351
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,553
When you're through
352
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,013
will you suggest
it again?
353
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,306
I'm weakening.
354
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,476
Mom, I did it-- I found
something at school
355
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,894
that I'm really
interested in.
356
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,729
What, honey?
357
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,190
I'm trying out for the lead
in the school play.
358
00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:43,567
Oh, Jan,
that's wonderful.
359
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,735
( whistles )
360
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,903
Anyway, the play's
361
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,196
about an American
girl in Paris
362
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:48,697
who's starving
and painting
363
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,032
and trying to
pay her bills.
364
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,742
While I'm telling
you all this
365
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,160
I should be
learning my lines.
366
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,037
I have to know every one
of them by tomorrow.
367
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,330
Why so soon?
368
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,666
Because I signed up so late.
369
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:02,044
Girls-- they're
absolutely unpredictable.
370
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,422
Maybe that's why they
grow up to be women.
371
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:13,013
That was very nice,
children, thank you.
372
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:16,016
Next are Jan Brady
and Billy Naylor.
373
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,643
Well, here goes.
374
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:21,313
Okay, Jan, now remember--
self-confidence.
375
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,607
Right, self-confidence.
376
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,498
What's the
painting, Jan?
377
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:42,042
Well, I'm supposed to be
painting in the scene
378
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:45,045
so I started this last night
when I was at home.
379
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,630
It'll make it easier for me.
380
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:49,091
You and Billy may begin
when you're ready.
381
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,135
Okay.
382
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,097
Come in.
383
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:58,642
No, Jan, you wait
till the landlord knocks.
384
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,770
Oh... sorry.
385
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,355
( knocking )
386
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,732
Come in.
387
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:07,568
Mademoiselle, I come to give you
388
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:10,904
one final chance
to pay the rent.
389
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,782
But, monsieur,
I must have more time.
390
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,993
I've almost finished
my painting.
391
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,914
Jan, you have
another line, dear.
392
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:24,960
Oh, right... sorry.
393
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,755
Let's start again.
394
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,761
Come in.
395
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:36,847
I'm supposed to knock first!
396
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:43,979
( knocking )
397
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,731
Come in, Billy!
398
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:49,109
Jan, he's the
landlord, not Billy.
399
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:49,610
Go ahead.
400
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:52,279
Mademoiselle, I've
come to give you
401
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,323
one final chance
to pay the rent.
402
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:57,910
But, monsieur,
I must have more time.
403
00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:01,080
I've almost finished
my painting.
404
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:06,085
Oh, uh... uh, I'm sure
I'll sell it.
405
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:08,462
LANDLORD:
Who would buy
406
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,964
such a horrible painting?
407
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:13,175
I must have the rent!
408
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,344
She is long overdo!
409
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,804
But I have no money.
410
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,180
Oh, here, hold this.
411
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,848
Hey!
412
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,600
I'm sorry, Billy.
413
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:26,063
BILLY:
Hey!
414
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,321
Jan, dear, are you sure
you're up to this?
415
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,574
I mean, you did
have only one
night to learn it.
416
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,035
No, Mrs. Ferguson,
I'm not up to this.
417
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,995
Maybe our next play.
418
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:45,207
There won't be
a next one for me.
419
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:56,009
Mom, Jan's tryout
was a disaster.
420
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,220
She couldn't get
anything right.
421
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:58,929
Poor kid.
422
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:02,224
She's going to
be more miserable
now than ever.
423
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,017
Hi, Mom, hi, Pete.
424
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,144
Hi, Jan.
425
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,562
Were you
putting me on?
426
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,647
No, she really
bombed out, honest.
427
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,232
Boy, did I ever
bomb out.
428
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,775
Well, I'm delighted to see
429
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:12,901
you're so happy
about it.
430
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,236
Well, it's what happened
afterwards
431
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,863
when Mrs. Ferguson
called me back.
432
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:16,864
You had left.
433
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,657
What happened?
434
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,118
Well, you know that picture
I painted for the play?
435
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,370
Mrs. Ferguson is
also our art teacher.
436
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,747
She says that I show
a real talent as a painter,
437
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:27,791
that my painting
was terrific
438
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,502
and that she wants me
to enroll in her art class.
439
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,421
Oh, Jan,
that's great.
440
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:33,672
Good.
441
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,257
ALICE:
Now, how
about that?
442
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,468
She tries out as an actress
and winds up an artist.
443
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,012
You and Dad
were right, Mom.
444
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,181
If I hadn't kept trying,
I would have never known.
445
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:45,058
Hey, I wonder if it works
the other way around.
446
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:48,228
Maybe if I tried to paint,
somebody would discover
447
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,939
how much Raquel Welch
and I have in common.
448
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,986
Would you believe
Shirley Temple?
449
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,171
Is tonight's menu
still a top secret?
450
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,006
No, it is now
declassified.
451
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,427
Vichyssoise,
Caesar salad
452
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:23,055
chocolate mousse
in the icebox
453
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,849
tomatoes parmesan
in the broiler
454
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,684
asparagus hollandaise
455
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,604
and the pièce
de résistance--
456
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,981
boeuf bourgignon champignon.
457
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,859
Oh, honey, it looks
and smells delicious.
458
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,527
You are the greatest.
459
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:38,070
Yes, that's true.
460
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,365
I have too much
humility to disagree.
461
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:44,326
Now, call the kids,
because dinner's ready.
462
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:45,911
Oh, that presents
a problem.
463
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,537
Hmm?
464
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:50,457
The kids are going
to a surprise
party tonight.
465
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,708
What?!
466
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,627
You mean after I've
slaved over a hot stove
467
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:54,711
making all this food?
468
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:57,881
Alice and I will
eat our share.
469
00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,884
Honey, I've got
enough food here
for nine people.
470
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,970
Well, call Alice
to the table.
471
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,764
I'll start serving it.
472
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,811
( muttering ):
Talk about lack of
appreciation...
473
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:13,480
all the money I spent
preparing all this gluck.
474
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:16,441
Surprise!
475
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:18,026
A surprise party, huh?
476
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:20,445
Well, you got
to admit you
were surprised.
477
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,031
KIDS:
We want to eat!
478
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,908
We want to eat!
479
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,076
Hold it!
480
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,869
I've got a surprise for you.
481
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:28,578
Oh, what?
482
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,455
( with French accent ):
The cook has resigned
483
00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:31,707
and you are serving the dinner.
484
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:33,417
Oh, what did
I tell you, Alice?
485
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,752
I knew we'd wind up
doing all the work.
486
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:55,605
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