Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

You're sure that's Greg Brady's sister?

Positive.

Good-looking chick, huh?

Yeah. It's too bad

she goes to the wrong school.

Really.

Well, here goes.

( sighs )

Uh, hey, Romeo,

let's not let her good looks fake you out, now.

Hey, no way.

You know my heart belongs to Fairview High.

Hi.

Hi.

Mind if I give you a hand?

Hey, you're from Fairview.

Yeah. I guess I'm the last guy in the world

that should be putting up a sign like this.

Then why are you?

Some things are just more important than school rivalry--

like your name, for instance.

Marcia Brady.

Jerry Rogers.

Hey, you're the quarterback

for the Fairview team.

I'm afraid so, yeah.

Wow, what a coincidence.

My brother Greg plays halfback for Westdale.

No kidding?

We knocked heads in last year's game.

Well, I guess I'd better be getting

the rest of these posters put up.

No, I guess we better be getting

the rest of these posters put up.

But you're the enemy.

A friendly enemy.

Success.

That gal doesn't know it,

but she's going to help her brother

blow the league championship-- to us.

If the ball carrier's heading straight at you,

always keep your eye on his belt buckle.

Why?

'Cause that's where his center of gravity is.

If you're watching his feet or his head,

he'll fake you out every time.

Let's try it again. Yeah.

Okay, you ready?

Yeah.

Hey, we're really getting good.

PETER: Clobbered him.

What's the matter, Greg?

Marcia's got to be kidding.

BOBBY: Who is he?

PETER: A fink.

How do you know?

He's wearing a Fairview sweater.

Hi, Greg.

Thank you for letting me take you home.

Thank you for helping me with the signs.

Can I see you again?

Sure.

Great.

I'll keep in touch.

( sighs )

I assume you know who he is.

Mm-hmm, Jerry Rogers, quarterback and dreamy.

Dreamy?

I may even let him take me out.

Marcia, are you kidding?

Jerry is the opposition.

He may be your opposition...

( sighs )

but he's certainly not mine.

( knock on door )

MARCIA: Come in.

I'm in.

Hey, those belong to me.

You mean they did belong to you.

But I'm supposed to finish putting them up tomorrow.

We don't need any help from a traitor.

Traitor?

I'm as loyal to Westdale as anybody.

You mean loyal to Jerry Rogers.

That's ridiculous.

Besides, you don't even go to Westdale yet.

I will next year.

And when Westdale finds out my sister's a double agent,

they might not even let me in.

You're impossible!

Imagine, hearing from Tank Gates

after all these years.

Yeah, I bet they named him Tank

because his head's shaped like a turret.

No, they nicknamed him Tank

because he mowed down the opposition like one.

Oh.

And as for his looks, well, every girl on campus

just turned to jelly when he passed by.

Including you?

No. Good.

Me he didn't pass by.

We sort of went together

in my senior year at Westdale.

Sort of or did?

What's the difference?

Y... well, d... there's a great deal of difference

because "sort of" means "sort of"

and "did" means "did."

( chuckles )

Well, anyway, that was a long time ago.

You're going to love meeting Tank tomorrow.

Oh... sure. I'm just counting the seconds.

You better get another bunch of bYoanas, Alice.

I didn't realize that.

YOUNG MAN: Hey, Jerry.

See you later.

How's it going with that Brady chick?

Stop worrying, would you?

I'm not about to fumble.

Yeah, but the game's this Saturday.

We gotta have Westdale's playbook

no later than Thursday.

We'll have it sooner.

I'm seeing her this afternoon.

Oh, yeah? Great.

You're some operator.

I was really surprised

when you picked me up at school.

What happened to your football practice?

I just ran 90 yards for a touchdown

and kept right on going.

Don't I get some kind of a reward

for driving you home?

Well, uh, what did you have in mind?

I'll settle for a cold drink.

( giggles ): Come on in.

Hi, kids.

Hi.

Hi.

This is Jerry Rogers.

Bobby, and this is Cindy.

You're right, Marcia-- he is gorgeous.

I hope Westdale whips the pants off you guys Saturday.

Bobby.

Come on, Jerry.

Let's go into the house.

That wasn't very polite of you.

Cindy, he's the opposition.

He's also Marcia's friend.

He's a Fairview fink.

All you boys think about is football.

Love is a lot more important.

How do you know?

You never played either one.

( bang )

Uh, have a seat.

Thanks.

Um, would you like some lemonade?

Great, if it's not too much trouble.

Oh, not at all.

I'll be back in a minute.

Make yourself at home.

This is a great house you have here.

Do all you kids have your own room?

I wish we did.

Greg's the only one.

He fixed over the attic for himself.

Yeah?

That's a great idea.

I ought to do something like that to our attic.

Do you suppose I could take a look at Greg's room

just to get some ideas?

Well, maybe sometime.

Great.

Be right there.

No rush.

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of!

Well, I'm sorry, but it just happens to be true.

Jerry Rogers wouldn't stoop that low!

All right, why would Bobby say it if he didn't see it?

He only thought that he tried to steal your playbook.

He doesn't have any real proof.

My eyes are my proof.

They saw him try to take it.

You're just prejudiced

because he's such a great quarterback.

Well, I could be such a great quarterback, too,

if I had the other team's playbook.

Look, it sounds to me like Bobby's telling the truth,

but I'm willing to give Jerry a fair shake.

How?

By giving him another chance

to try and steal my playbook.

He didn't try to steal your playbook!

GREG: All right, then you have nothing to worry about.

In fact, if he's innocent, we'll even apologize. Right?

Right.

Okay, it's a deal.

Get ready to apologize.

You mean you'd better get ready to find

a new creep to go out with!

Oh, yeah? It takes one to know one.

Then you two should be really happy together.

( groans )

Honey, how would you like to buy me

a new dress for my birthday?

Well, since your birthday's several months away,

I'd love to.

Good. I'm wearing it.

Do you like it?

Ooh, I like it.

It was on sale.

Yeah, I like it even better.

Um, what's the occasion?

Well, honey, you know I needed a new dress

and with Tank coming over, I thought...

That's for Tank?

No, silly, it's for you.

Yeah, that dress sure makes me look good.

Happy birthday, Twinkles.

Hey, how would you guys like

to help me plot "Operation Wipeout"?

Operation Wipeout?

What do you mean?

Well, I told Marcia I'd give Jerry another chance

to try and steal my playbook.

But if he does steal it, Fairview will clobber us, right?

Yeah.

So I came up with an idea.

Two playbooks?

This one's a phony.

We'll make it full of fake plays.

If Jerry steals it, Fairview'd be running around in circles.

Right.

You guys would rout them.

Can't you just see those Fairview freaks

trying to defend against our plays

when they're not our plays?

Listen, you read me the plays out of this real playbook

and I'll switch them right here in this phony one.

( doorbell rings )

Twinkles!

No, I'm Mike.

Right.

I'm Dave Gates.

Glad to meet you.

Thank you.

Well, Carol's told me a lot about you.

Aw, not everything, I hope.

Where is she?

Where's my Twinkles?

She's right here.

Twinkles!

( chuckling )

Hi, Tank.

Come here, you gorgeous hunk of woman!

Tank, put me down!

Oh, you're as wild as ever.

And you're as pretty as ever.

No, no, you're prettier.

Boy, did you luck out, fella.

My mother thinks she didn't do too badly either.

Yeah, yeah...

Bet you're just dying to know

what I've been doing since high school, right?

Well, yes, Tank, I...

Went right to college

and guess who made all-American.

Why don't you take a stab in the dark, honey?

You know me, Twinkles, I don't like to brag,

but, after college, I went into pro football

and made all-pro three years in a row.

Yes, I noticed it in the paper.

Wasn't hard to do, was it?

I was in them all the time.

( Tank chuckling )

Did you ever play ball, Mack?

Mike. Um, I played some ball. Not football, but...

I didn't figure you did.

CAROL: We have a son

who plays football at Westdale, Tank.

You have a son that old?

Why, you look like you could be in high school yourself.

( chuckling )

Did you hear that, Mike?

Me still in high school?

I heard it.

Listen, that's the reason I'm in town--

for the biggie between Westdale and Fairview.

Just don't get a chance to get here anymore.

How did we get so lucky this time?

Look what I dug up, Tank--

our old Westdale Annual.

Oh...

( chortling )

What's the next play?

T-28: Quarterback pitchout to the strong side.

Simple. We'll just reverse it.

Now it'll be T-28:

Quarterback pitchout to the weak side.

Boy, are they going to be surprised

when the ball goes one way

and Fairview goes the other.

Right.

( groans )

Sorry, Alice.

Did you want something?

Yeah, to be traded right after dinner,

which is going to be ready pretty soon

so get cleaned up.

Okay.

Think fast.

Well, that does it.

Now all I have to do

is give this phony playbook to Marcia

and have her invite Jerry over tomorrow.

You sure he'll take it?

Will a rat take cheese?

I was just beautiful.

And here's the old Tanker...

and here I am as student body president.

CAROL: Oh, look. There I am in the drama...

Son of a gun! Here I am

scoring a touchdown against Fairview that year.

Do you remember all those touchdowns I scored, Twinkles?

Well...

I scored so many points

I can't remember the total.

Hey! I remember that touchdown now.

Let me show you how it worked.

Well, Tank, I don't think...

Now, this is the picture.

We only have time for one play

and we're still 75 yards from pay dirt.

Fairview's expecting a long pass

so they drop back into a five-three-two-one defense.

So I look over the defense

and you know what play I call?

I call...

The old Statue of Liberty.

Yeah, the old Statue of Liberty play.

Well, anyway, we break out of the huddle.

I come up to the line.

Here, let me show you.

You two be the defensive unit.

Yeah, you are a little fragile, aren't you?

Right.

Now, this is our line: Jackson, Metzger, Cyril-- a rock.

Metzger snaps the ball back to Lefkowitz.

Lefty fades back like he's going to throw a long one

and that's when the old Tanker comes flying by

and grabs the ball!

The crowd went wild!

He gives him a leg.

He takes it away.

He reverses his field and it goes against the grain.

He gives them a right stringer, he gives them a left stringer.

He was poetry in motion.

And then he runs for the big save!

And the rest is history.

You're a legend in your own time.

No, not yet.

I still have to make the extra point.

Uh...

I certainly wouldn't want to miss that one.

But I fool them again, see?

I made them think I'm going to run for the extra point.

Suddenly I stop, step back and drop-kick the ball...

( crash )

Oh!

Sorry. Guess I got carried away.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Just a rare tropical fern.

But you'll be glad to know

the drop-kick went right through the goalposts.

Great. Really great.

Yeah, great.

Even then, I was bigger than life.

You're really going to go through

with Greg's plan?

Jerry's on his way over.

What if he does steal Greg's playbook?

I don't think he will, Cindy.

Because he's honest

or because he told you

your eyes are like Faye Dunaway's?

We'll soon find out.

Put them down.

Here.

Good luck.

Okay.

Cindy, go on.

Why?

Cindy.

Oh, all right.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm glad you could come over.

You know, we must have ESP going on between us

because I was just going to call you.

( giggling ): Good.

Can I get you a cold drink?

Sure.

How about some of that great lemonade?

Okay.

I guess you're really excited about the big game.

You better believe it.

Greg's really up for it, too.

I'll bet. Means the league championship.

I hope you won't mind if I root for Westdale.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh, am I a goof artist.

Coach called a special session

for team photographs.

I completely forgot.

Can I take a rain check on that lemonade?

Sure.

I hope you understand.

I understand perfectly.

Hey, boys.

BOYS: Hi, Dad.

Hey, Dad, want to win a bundle?

Bet on Greg's team to clobber Fairview.

Yeah, yeah. Listen, I hear

you pulled a fast one on Fairview.

You mean on that freak Jerry Rogers.

Yeah.

MIKE: No, I mean on Fairview.

Don't you see you're operating

on Jerry Rogers' level now?

What do you mean?

Well, look, he stole your playbook

and, if it had been the real one,

his team could win dishonestly, right?

Right.

MIKE: Okay, now Westdale can win dishonestly

because the playbook is a fake.

I never thought of it that way.

Me either.

Ditto.

Well, boys, it just seems to me

that a victory is only going to mean something

if Westdale beats Fairview in an honest game.

Hmm?

And I'll bet your coach would agree, too.

( phone rings )

Hello.

Hi, Jerry. Greg Brady.

Oh... hi, Greg.

What's up?

Look, I'm calling about that playbook you swiped.

Are you kidding? Me swipe your playbook?

I'm just trying to do you a favor, Jerry.

Some favor, calling me a crook.

Let me put it this way-- the book's a fake.

I made up every play in it.

I said I didn't take it.

But even if I did, why would you be telling me?

Because it's not fair to your team.

Look, man, the book's a phony.

You're the phony, Greg.

But thanks for the phone call.

( crowd cheering )

Alice, that was

the best ball game I've ever seen!

Westdale killed them.

20 to seven.

Marvelous!

BOBBY: They clobbered them.

MARCIA: Jerry Rogers didn't even finish the game.

The coach benched him in the first quarter

when he found out about that phony playbook.

We won fair and square.

Right.

Wait till you see

what we're going to have for dessert.

GREG: I'm ready for that.

We're going to celebrate the big victory.

( all cheering )

Oh, Alice, that is beautiful.

Hey, Alice, what if Westdale had lost?

Oh, that's simple, Mr. Brady.

CAROL: There she goes again.

We would have settled...

for this.

( laughter )

Hi, Twinkles.

Oh, hi, Tank.

Mike, look who's here.

I just stopped by to say so long.

I got to get going.

Hi, Tank.

Sorry I missed you at the game.

That son of yours is not a bad halfback, Mack.

That's Mike.

It must have really made you happy

when your old alma mater won the biggie, huh, Tank?

Are you kidding?

That stupid game cost me 100 bucks.

Westdale won.

Yeah, but I heard a rumor

that Fairview got ahold of Westdale's plays.

I figured I had me a sure thing.

You mean you bet against your own alma mater?

Come on-- loyalty's one thing, a buck's another.

Well, so long, Twinkles.

It's been great seeing you.

You, too, Mack.

That's Mike!

Can you imagine him

betting against his own school?

I can imagine him doing most anything.

He's got some nerve!

What a phony!

That's your hero you're talking about, Twinkles.

Oh, you know I was just needling you.

He never was my kind of guy.

What is your kind of guy?

The kind of guy you are, Mike.

That's Mack, and I'm poetry in motion.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org