Original subtitles

THE BRADY BUNCH #97ss CLOSED CAPTIONED

♪ Here's the story of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold, like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady bunch ♪

♪ The Brady bunch, the Brady bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady bunch. ♪

captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISON

( faint cheering )

( crowd cheering in background )

( whistling and shouting )

Okay, Joe, we've only got time

for one more play.

We need six big ones to win.

This is it, joe.

You mean... the bomb?

The bomb.

Okay, on two.

Ready?

JOE: Ninety-eight!

Seventy-seven!

Two hundred and three!

Two hundred and seven!

Seventy-four!

Two.

( crowd cheering )

That's it, Bobby!

All right! Nice going, Bobby!

Hey, Bobby!

All right! Hey!

Boy, I don't know how I ever got along

without you, Bobby.

Neither do I.

All right!

Thousand one, thousand two, thousand three... go!

I'm thirsty.

Let's take a break.

Okay.

You know something?

My dad's cousin

was on the same plane with Hank Aaron

all the way from Chicago.

Yeah?

That's nothing.

I know somebody who knows

Lee Trevino's caddie.

Well, that's nothing, either.

My dad rode on the same elevator

with Wilt Chamberlain

and he stood right next to him.

Right next to him?

Sure, my dad's shoulder was rubbing

right up against Wilt Chamberlain's knee.

Hey, you don't know anybody important, do you?

Well, sure I do.

Who?

Well, I don't like to brag.

Let's play some more.

BOY 2: Who?

Joe Namath.

The New York Jets quarterback?

You know Joe Namath?

Sure. I know him a lot.

How much is a lot?

Well, he always has dinner at our house.

Whenever he's in town.

Can we meet him sometime?

Yeah, could we, please?

Well, sure.

Wow! We'll get to meet Joe Namath.

I'm gonna tell my dad.

See you.

See you, Bobby.

Yeah. Bye.

BOY 1: You know Joe Namath?

Bobby: Sure. I know him a lot.

Boy 2: We'll get to meet Joe Namath! Joe Namath...

Well, how could you say a thing like that?

Well, I just opened my mouth

and it came out before I could stop it.

We don't even know Joe Namath, do we, Mike?

No, we don't.

It looks like you bent the truth a little bit there.

Bent it?

I made it into a pretzel.

Well, Bobby, how do you intend

to straighten it out?

I was planning to phone the guys and explain.

That's a step in the right direction.

But it's too late.

It's all over town by now.

Well, Bob, I wish I knew the man, but I don't.

Well, thanks, anyway.

Honey, he has got to learn that, when you bluff

somebody may call you on it.

Mike...

honey...

we could try to help him, couldn't we?

How?

Well, why don't we invite Joe Namath to dinner?

Well, that's an excellent suggestion

with one minor flaw: we don't know the man.

I'll bet, if you really tried

you could think of somebody

who does know him.

Well, let's see...

Say, Howard Cossell knows him.

There. You see? There's your answer.

I don't know Howard Cossell.

Hello?

Is this the stadium?

May I speak to Joe Namath, please?

Can I leave a message for him when he gets in?

Tell him to call Bobby Brady at 555-6161.

Right. It's very important.

Thanks.

When you get to my head, leave a little peek hole

so I can find my way back to the pyramid.

Anybody who needs that much bandaging isn't worth saving.

The manual says

in case of a double compound fracture in both arms

the victim must be completely immobilized.

Will do me a favor

the next time you ask me to volunteer for something?

Immobilize my big mouth before I can answer.

Well, I got to go do my homework.

Come back soon.

Visiting hours are from 7:00 to 9:00.

Well, I've run out of bandages.

Promise you'll stay put, okay?

Cross my heart, if I could reach it.

( phone ringing )

( ringing )

BOY: Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello. Is anybody there?

Hello?

Hello?

Brady residence.

Could I please speak to Bobby?

Hold the phone.

Bobby!

Telephone!

Is it Joe?

What are you doing down there, Alice?

Hit-and-run Florence Nightingale.

Hello. This is Bobby Brady speaking.

Hello. This is Eric.

I just heard on the radio

that Joe Namath got into town today.

Has he called you yet?

No, but I got a call in for him.

Be sure to let us know when we get to meet him.

Oh, sure.

But, listen, Joe might be trying to call me right now.

I better get off the phone. Bye.

See you later, Alice.

Bobby!

Help me up.

Well, I don't think I can lift you, Alice.

Well, then don't lift me.

Unwrap me.

Oh, Cindy, can I borrow your foot?

Sure. Which one?

It doesn't matter.

I'm getting real good at this.

Wow, what a guy!

Who?

Mike Connors. He's far out!

Listen to what he did.

There was a sick little girl in the hospital

who wrote to him saying how much she wanted to meet him

and he went 1,200 miles out of his way

just to visit her for five minutes.

Just because she was sick?

Yeah.

Just because she was sick, huh?

"Dear Mr. Namath,

"My name is Bobby Brady, and I'm 12 years old.

"I'm writing to you because I'm very, very sick.

"The one thing I'd like

"more than anything in the whole world

is to meet you in person."

Mom, don't forget my first aid meeting

today at 3:30.

Oh, I won't. I'll be happy to drive you there

but in no way am I going to be the victim.

Marcia volunteered to do it.

Oh, some volunteer.

She wrapped a bandage around my mouth

so I couldn't say no.

Hurry up. You're going to be late.

Bye-bye.

See you later. Have a good day.

Say, at the risk

of sounding like a parent

would you mind telling me

why you're not on your way to school, young man?

I feel kind of sick, Dad.

Hmm.

You don't have a temperature.

Well...

sometimes it doesn't always show.

You know, I might have a slight case of malaria.

Would you like to hear my diagnosis?

The word is "chicken."

Like in "pox"?

No, just plain chicken.

Some of those guys

don't even think I know Joe Namath, Dad.

You don't.

Well, I might... someday.

Yeah. Well, I think you better get up off of there

and head to school, okay?

No, but I'll do it.

Hello, Herb.

Any messages?

Right on the desk, as usual.

The way this mail's coming in

it looks like you're going to need your own zip code.

Don't knock it, buddy.

If it ever stops coming in

I'll need a very large crying towel.

By the way, Joe, there's a letter came in

I think you ought to read right now.

What's it say, Herb?

Go ahead, read it.

"Dear Mr.Namath,

"My name is Bobby Brady, and I'm 12 years old.

I'm writing to you because I'm very, very sick..."

Sick? Wait a minute.

Bobby Brady?

I have a phone message here from him.

Let me see that.

Wow. Poor kid.

This sounds serious.

Why don't you get him on the phone

and see if we can stop over after practice.

Right, Joe.

Gee, I hope it's not too late.

Step right up, folks.

Got your favorite goodies--

brownies, right out of the oven.

No, thanks, Alice.

I'm not hungry.

He turned down brownies?

That's like Bob Hope turning down laughs.

The kids at school gave him a bad time.

Oh, poor kid.

He had to tell them

he didn't know Joe Namath?

No, they gave him such a bad time

he just couldn't tell them.

( phone rings )

Hello.

Is this the home of Bobby Brady?

Yes. This is his sister Cindy.

I'm Herb Keller, publicity man

for the exhibition football game.

You mean the one with Joe Namath?

You got the letter, huh?

Yes. How's your brother feeling?

Oh, awful.

He just turned down his favorite dessert-- brownies.

Oh, that's too bad.

His letter almost broke Joe's heart.

That's wonderful!

I mean, it's very sad.

Joe would like to drop by today about 5:30 to see Bobby.

Would that be all right?

That'd be super!

Good. See you then, Cindy.

Bye.

Bye.

Hey, what was that all about?

Wrong number.

Bobby, he's coming here! He's coming here!

Who is?

Joe Namath, himself, in person.

That's a terrible joke, Cindy.

I'm not joking.

I wrote him a letter, and I signed your name to it.

So he's coming here this afternoon.

Wow!

Wait till I tell Eric and Burt and Tom.

Wait!

Now for the bad news.

What bad news?

You got to get sick.

What? Why?

Well, the letter I wrote him

kind of gave him the idea

that you were very, very sick.

Well, what'd you write?

That you were very, very sick.

So you better get sick.

Hello.

( gasps )

( Alice stammering )

It's you!

It's him!

You're Joe Namath.

Right, right This is Herb Keller.

Hello.

Can we come in?

Oh, yeah, please do.

How's Bobby feeling?

Just terrible.

But this is gonna be

the greatest medicine in the world for him.

Just make yourself comfortable

and I'll go get him.

Can he walk?

I mean, you don't have to carry him,

or anything, do you?

Carry him? No.

Can we go up to his room?

Sure, if you'd rather.

Bobby is going to be tickled to death.

ALICE: He'll be so excited, Mr. Namath.

He's just up the stairs.

It's the first door on the right.

Thank you.

Thanks.

He's here, he's here.

Get in bed.

Hurry!

Downstairs?

( moaning )

( knock on door )

Hello, Bobby.

Hi, Mr. Namath.

You can call me Joe.

Thanks for coming, Joe.

Oh... this is my sister Cindy.

Hello, Cindy.

Hi, Joe.

This is my friend, Herb Keller.

Hello.

So you sound a lot better

than you did in your letter.

I do?

Oh... ( moans )

One minute, he's fine, and the next, he's awful.

( moaning )

( phone ringing )

( ringing )

Brady residence.

Alice, is Bobby there?

Yes, but I think he's pretty busy right now.

Just tell him I got good news for him.

Me, too, Mr. Brady.

I finally found somebody

who knows somebody who knows Joe Namath.

Me, too, Mr. Brady.

Really? Who?

Me.

How do you know Joe Namath?

He just walked in our front door.

Look, I'll be right home.

Is there anything special I can do for you, Bobby?

Could you come over for dinner one night?

No, I'm afraid not.

I have to hop a plane right after the game.

How about an autographed photo, Bobby?

I brought one along for you.

That'd be great!

Better lie down.

You look weaker.

( moans )

What would you like me to say on it, Bobby?

To my great friend, Bobby Brady...

"To my great friend, Bobby Brady..."

...in whose house I always have dinner

when I'm in town.

You do?

Whatever he says, Herb.

I'm sorry I won't get a chance

to meet some of his friends...

"...to meet some of his friends..."

Like Eddie Clark, Tommy Hamner, Todd Cronin

Burt Stevens...

Give him a chance to catch up.

There. I'm caught up.

Go ahead, Bobby.

And especially Eric Parker

who refused to believe

that I'm really good friends with Bobby Brady.

That's all?

That's all. Now you can write

whatever you want.

Alice, she passed her first aid test

with flying bandages.

I got ten points

on my very first try.

Now she's moving up to stretcher bearer.

It's a day for great news

and have I got some for you.

What?

Hi.

Well, we barely made it

before the stretcher got here.

ALICE: Mrs. Brady, this is Joe Namath and Mr. Keller.

What a pleasure.

And this is Marcia and Jan Brady.

It was so nice of you to come over here

just to see Bobby.

Well, it's the least we could do, Mrs. Brady.

Well, you got here in the nick of time.

Bobby was just about at the end of his rope.

Hi, everybody.

CAROL: Oh, hi, honey.

Mike... This is my husband, Mike.

This is Mr. Namath and Mr. Keller.

It's very nice to meet you.

You really have quite a son there, Mr. Brady.

This whole thing must be pretty upsetting.

Well, when you have six kids,

something like this is bound

to happen to one of them.

Excuse me. You don't seem

to be taking this very seriously.

There's no reason to get upset over a problem like this.

How'd you find out about it?

I got this letter from Bobby.

Hey, that's Cindy's handwriting.

It says, "Dear Mr. Namath,

"My name is Bobby Brady, and I'm 12 years old

"and I'm writing to you because I'm very, very...

very, very sick"?!

( both sigh )

Mr. Namath, I'm afraid we owe you an apology.

I think the kids are trying

to put something over on you here.

You mean Bobby's not sick?

He might be when we get through talking to him.

Yes.

He and Cindy must have cooked this up

between them, Mr. Namath.

You see, Bobby told all his friends

that he knew you.

He even told them that you ate dinner over here.

Mr. Namath?

Cindy and I have been talking it over

and we think you should know something.

You see, I'm not really sick.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

I wrote the letter.

He just moaned and groaned.

I guess it wasn't a very nice thing to do.

You can have your picture back.

Well, you looked pretty healthy

when I talked to you upstairs, Bobby.

In fact, I'm glad you're not sick.

And it's pretty flattering to have someone want to see me

as badly as you wanted to.

Well, flattering, maybe

but I think you two are going to be penalized

for illegal procedure.

Yeah, but can I still keep the picture?

You bet you can.

And as long as I'm here

why don't we go throw a few passes together?

Wow! That'd be great!

Okay, Bobby, here comes the bomb.

Hike!

( all cheer )

Good catch, Bobby, good catch.

Listen, I got to get going.

Boy, Joe, this is something I'll never forget.

Neither will I. I really enjoyed it.

And it was nice meeting all of you.

It was a pleasure.

Thank you.

Mr. Brady, you've got quite a family here.

Thanks, Joe.

Bye.

Listen, guys, I got to tell you something.

See, I never met Joe Namath until today.

( all sigh )

Come on, Bobby.

Knock it off.

Honest.

You don't expect us

to believe that, do you?

I'm going to tell my dad.

( boys all talking at once )

It was nice of Joe Namath

to send us all those tickets for the game tonight.

Yes, and it certainly was nice of you to give

our tickets to Bobby's friends, but why?

Well, I had ulterior motives.

Oh?

Sure, you have to fight 1,000 cars for a parking space

stand in line for hot dogs,

you have to push your way through all that crowd.

So?

So, this way, with all the kids out of the house,

you and I can be alone.

You get the picture?

Oh.

Well, who am I to fight a great idea?

Yeah, this is much better.

This way, when the game comes on television

we won't have any interruptions.

Michael Brady, you are...

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org