Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch ♪

Those sure are neat earrings, Marcia.

Thanks, darling.

Mother loaned them to me.

[Jan] Marcia?

Marcia?

Coming, Jan.

What is it?

Phone for you.

A guy named Ted Edwards.

Thanks.

Can I try the earrings on?

No. They're Mom's, and don't touch them.

Grandma gave them to her.

The guy sounded really cute.

What does he look like?

Tall, blond, handsome--

nothing special.

Oh... I'll bet.

[knock at door]

[Carol] Cindy, are you in there?

I'm coming, Mom.

Honey, I got this on sale.

Let's see if it fits.

It fits fine, Mom.

They have them in red, green and violet, too.

-Which color would you like? -Any color is marvelous.

Boy, one day, you're going to make

some man awfully happy.

You're a woman who's easy to please.

See you later.

They're gone.

If you didn't know who I was, who would you think I am?

A candidate for a butterfly net.

Knock it off, will ya? I'm trying to read.

[chuckles]

You know something? You got big pores.

Will you quit bothering me with that dumb detective kit?

Now what are you doing?

Trying to guess your weight.

You can figure it out with a sag in the mattress.

Is that a sag in your brain?

Why don't you take your detective kit and get lost?

It's no use. I'm such a good detective

I'd find myself! [laughs]

[Peter] Ow!

-[knocking on door] -Come in.

Peter, have you learned how to use your detective kit yet?

Sure.

Good, maybe you can help me.

You want a detective?

Boy, my first case.

Step into my office, ma'am.

What's your name, ma'am?

You know my name.

Look, it's got to be official, the way the book says.

What's your name, ma'am?

Cindy Brady.

-Occupation? -School kid.

Okay, we need the facts. Just start from the beginning

and give me the facts, just the facts.

Well, Mom lent Marcia some earrings

and I wasn't supposed to touch them, but I did.

Now the earrings are gone.

Mom's earrings?

Boy, are you in trouble.

I know that, and I'm not even a detective.

We'll call this "The Great Earring Caper."

Where were the earrings last observed, ma'am?

On the bathroom sink.

I'll investigate at once.

[Cindy] Can I help?

Sure. You can be my assistant,

like Dr. Watson was to Sherlock Holmes.

Great.

Exactly where were they, ma'am?

I put them in this towel.

The towel, huh?

Simple deduction, ma'am, I've solved the case.

You have?

The earrings slipped out

from under the towel and slid down the drain.

Boy, you sure are smart, Peter.

Thanks. I'll get Dad's tool kit

and open up the drainpipe.

What a detective.

Elementary, dear Watson. Elementary.

[both chuckle]

-Mike? -Mm-hmm.

-I think I've got it. -Got what?

An idea for the costume party

unless you've decided on something.

No, no, anything you decide is okay with me.

Okay, how about Romeo and Juliet?

"Romeo and Juliet"?

Can we be a little more original?

Last year, there was a flock

of Romeo and Juliets.

Oh, well, then why don't you

pick some famous couple?

No, no. You're better at those things than I am.

Okay, how about Napoleon and Josephine?

Napoleon...

Honey, isn't that kind of a little unoriginal, too?

-Yeah, I guess it is. -Yeah.

How about Gertrude and Claude?

"Gertrude and Claude"?

What famous couple were they?

I don't know but it certainly is original,

-don't you think? -[laughs]

We're making a big deal out of this.

You pick it and anything you decide on

is okay with me.

Sure, it is.

Well, how did he go for Romeo and Juliet?

[both] He didn't.

Oh. Well, I got an idea, folks.

And it's particularly fitting for you, Mr. Brady.

-What's that? -George and Martha Washington.

I could be the father of my country.

Mm. With six kids, you got a good running start.

Peter, did you find Mom's earrings yet?

Not yet. Cindy, you don't need a detective.

You need a plumber.

-Well, please hurry. -I'm hurrying.

And get back to your lookout post!

-Hi. -Hi.

Marcia, if you want to go to the bathroom, you can't.

Jan's in there.

Who wants to go to the bathroom?

I just thought I'd let you know

just in case.

-Hi. -Hi.

Hey, I thought you were in the bathroom.

Well, how can I be in the bathroom?

I guess it must be Greg in the bathroom.

Bobby, if you want to go to the bathroom,

you can't. Greg's in there.

Well, who put you in charge of the bathroom?

I just thought I'd let you know.

Greg's in there.

Greg's in where?

She said you were in the bathroom.

What are you talking about?

I thought it was you.

I'll try to find out

and let you know.

[laughing]

[knocking on door]

Who is it?

[Cindy] It's me-- Watson.

Well?

-They're not there. -Oh, no!

Now, don't panic. This is when us detectives

have to use deduction.

Well, please deduct fast!

Okay. They weren't in the sink and they're not in the drainpipe

so they must have been removed--

chances are, by human hands.

You follow me?

Yeah. Just hurry up, that's all.

Okay, every human hand has fingerprints

and everybody in this house has human hands.

What does that mean?

It means that no finger is above suspicion.

What?

[humming]

Believe me, Alice will never know what we're after.

We'll get her fingerprints off the mop handle.

-Okay. -Shh!

You know something, Alice?

You work too hard.

You should let us do some work.

You wanna do some of my work?

Sure! Just relax.

Take it easy for a while.

You kids feel all right?

We'll go mop our bathroom.

Read a good book or something.

They want to help?

Hi, Dad.

Hi, kids.

Dad, we brought you a glass of milk.

You did? Well, that's great.

I don't even remember asking

for a glass of milk.

This way, you don't have to ask.

Well, that's very considerate of you.

Go ahead, drink it.

Well, I will when I get thirsty.

You'd better drink it right away

before all the vitamins in it wear out.

It's good for all your bones.

Oh. Well, in that case I, uh...

better take your advice, huh?

Mm.

Refreshingly good, wasn't it?

[Mike] Yes, it certainly was.

My bones feel better already.

[Mike clears throat]

I hope the fingerprints turn out okay, Sherlock.

Maybe we should have worn disguises.

[kids exclaiming excitedly]

Good shot, good shot!

Hey!

What are they doing?

Peter!

Cindy!

[Cindy] We got everybody's fingerprints.

Right, and I just checked them

against the ones in the bathroom sink.

And what did you find out?

That everybody in the family has been in this bathroom.

And we still don't know who took the earrings out of here.

Don't worry, a good detective always has more than one plan.

If plan "A" doesn't work, we go to plan "B."

What's plan "B"?

I don't know.

I'll look it up.

Alice, I'm going down to the costume company.

-I shouldn't be long. -Right, Mrs. Brady.

Alice, do you remember what I said?

-About what? -About picking up after the kids.

They've got to learn to do it themselves.

-Okay, I'll just leave it. -Well, good-bye.

I sure hope I can find something interesting for our costumes.

-Hey, Mrs. Brady. -Yeah?

Would you consider Adam and Eve?

[chuckles]

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

It's just a little something

to tide me over till dinner.

Well, Mr. Brady, I thought you were

watching your waistline.

I am. It's easier to see all the time.

[chuckles] Mine, too... everywhere I look.

-[Carol] Mike! -Yeah?

[Carol] Honey, could you give me a hand quick?

-Sure. -[Carol] Hurry!

-What have you got here? -You'll see.

Oh, thank you!

Gosh, they're heavy.

Yeah, well, our costume problems are over.

We're all set for the party.

What are we going as, ghosts?

Here, I'll show you. Take that off, okay?

Okay... ha!

Antony and Cleopatra.

What's the matter, don't you like them?

Sure, but my skirt's shorter than your skirt.

[laughs]

[Alice] Ooh! Wow!

Hey, Alice, what do you think of our costumes?

Oh, those are great!

Yeah? Guess who we're going as.

Sonny and Cher?

Those sure are fancy costumes.

Yeah, your father's got the legs for them, too.

Tomorrow night, your mother and dad are going to be

Antony and Cleopatra.

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm gonna do a real fancy makeup

and I think I'll borrow my friend Pauline's black wig...

-Oh, yeah! -And I know just the earrings--

the ones I loaned to Marcia.

[Mike] Yeah, want to try these things on?

[Carol] Oh, I'd love to.

The earrings!

Oh, no!

[knocking on door]

Peter, we've got to find those earrings right away!

I know. I'm reading my manual on how to solve cases.

But Mom wants to wear them to that party tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night?!

I guess we'd better tell her they're lost.

No, we still have 24 hours

and I'm learning a lot from this book.

Like what?

Like suspects.

The person who was nearest to the scene of the crime

has the best chance of being guilty.

We've got to question everybody.

All right, but we've got to do it fast!

Don't panic. A good detective never panics.

I'm not a good detective.

-Hi. -Hi.

What are you doing?

I'm waxing my surfboard.

What were you doing yesterday afternoon

right after school?

I was in my room.

That's right, and your room

is right next to the bathroom.

So?

So hand over the you-know-what.

What's the you-know-what?

If I told you you-know-what, you'd know what.

Cindy, I'm busy.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

Then I guess that makes you innocent.

Hi. How's it going?

How's what going?

Oh, nothing.

Where were you yesterday afternoon?

What do you mean, where was I?

I was at school, and I came home, like any day.

What'd you do when you got home?

Why?

Just asking.

I gave Henrietta a special treat.

It was her birthday.

Birthday, huh?

Did you bring her a present?

-Yeah. -Like jewelry?

What are you, some kind of ding-a-ling?

What would a hamster do with jewelry?

I'm asking the questions around here.

What'd you bring her?

I brought her sunflower seeds

and if you're jealous,

I'll bring you sunflower seeds on your birthday.

Oh, you're too dumb to be guilty.

-Hi. -Hi.

Where were you yesterday afternoon

right after school?

Well, I was here-- you saw me--

when I called Marcia.

Why did you call her?

Because that boy phoned her-- Ted Edwards.

Can you prove the phone rang?

Well, can you prove it didn't?

Nope.

Mom and Dad are getting dressed now to go to the party.

I know. My first case, and I bombed out.

Some detective.

I couldn't find an elephant in a bathtub.

You tried.

I better tell Marcia.

Mom will be looking for those earrings any minute.

Wait. There may be one last hope.

What?

Mom might forget about those earrings.

Honey, how are you coming?

Cleopatra's having a little trouble

zipping up the Nile.

Mm-hmm. Let me give you a hand here, Cleo.

There.

Well?

[whistles]

Boy, I'll ride on your barge anytime.

You look pretty wild yourself, Marc.

You know something, Alice was right--

you do have great legs.

Yeah, I kinda do, don't I?

Well, the knees are a little knobby.

Wait a second. Hey. Let's get Greg to take a picture of us.

Never had a date with the Queen of the Nile before.

Good.

Hey, wow!

You both look really great.

Thanks. Oh, honey, would you get

those earrings I loaned you? I want to wear them tonight.

Sure, Mom. They'll look perfect with your costume.

Cindy, are you okay?

Yeah... but you're not.

You're in trouble.

Me, in trouble? Why?

You told me not to touch Mom's earrings, didn't you?

-Yeah. -[Cindy] Well, I touched them.

What do you mean?

I not only touched them, I lost them.

You lost them?!

Cindy, Mom wanted them!

Are you sure that you lost them?

Positive. That's why you're in trouble.

What do you mean, I'm in trouble?

You're the one that lost them!

Yeah, but you're my older sister

and older sisters always protect younger sisters.

That's your story. Come on!

[Greg] Okay, okay, hold it, hold it.

Ready? Here we go.

And...

-[shutter clicks] -There we go!

Did it go off?

Yeah, it sure did.

Hey, how about a romantic one?

Marc Antony and Cleopatra hugging each other.

All right, but watch out for that sword.

I don't want to get grabbed and jabbed

at the same time.

Ready? One...

two... that's great...

three.

I hope you get his legs in.

[laughs]

Mom? Come on.

Cindy has something to tell you.

-What is it, sweetheart? -Well...

-Marcia, did you find the earrings? -No.

What do you mean "No"? I loaned them to you.

Then I loaned them tome, and they disappeared.

How could they disappear?

That's a good question.

I've been trying to crack this case

for some time now and I'm baffled.

Oh, Cindy, those are my favorite earrings

and I wanted to wear them tonight.

-I'm sorry. -Now wait a minute.

Did you take them outside the house, Cindy?

No, Dad, honest.

I only had them on for a minute.

Well, they must be around here someplace.

Where'd you lose them?

Dad, are you taking over the case now?

-If you don't mind. -Oh, not at all,

but I got to warn you:

Everybody's got an alibi

and there aren't any clues.

Thank you.

I'm sure they're just misplaced.

Let's see if we can't reconstruct what happened.

Well, all I know is

I loaned the earrings to Marcia

and have not seen them since.

And I put them in my dresser drawer

and then went downstairs to take a phone call.

That's when I loaned them to me.

I went into the bathroom and tried them on

but when Mom called me,

I didn't want her to catch me playing with her earrings

so I hid them under a towel on the sink.

I was going to put them back in Marcia's drawer later.

Hey, wait a minute, I just remembered.

Do you know when that must have been?

That must have been

when I went into the bathroom from the hall.

I took the clothes out of the laundry bin.

Then I saw the towel on the counter

so I put it in the laundry bag.

Then I remembered what Mrs. Brady said

about the kids cleaning up after themselves

and I put the towel back.

So if the earrings were under the towel

they must have fallen into the laundry bag.

Then that's where they must be.

Alice, where is that laundry bag now?

Well, I put it down for a second in the hall

to get something and when I came back, it was gone.

I know... I took it from there.

What do you mean?

Well, I was starting to go downstairs

and I saw the laundry bag in the hall.

I thought I'd help Alice out

so I took the laundry bag downstairs

and left it in the service porch.

The earrings must be in the laundry bag

in the service porch.

Oh, no, Mike, that's when I came into the picture.

When I went to the service porch

I saw that the laundry bag was pretty full.

I figured I'd give Alice a hand,

and I unloaded the laundry into the washing machine.

Alice, has that load of laundry been washed yet?

Mrs. Brady, that was yesterday--

at least three or four loads ago.

Oh, no!

I never saw any earrings.

Then they still must be in the washing machine.

[Greg] Feel anything?

No, not... wait a minute.

Aha... aha!

[all cheering]

Where's the other one?

Ah, there's...

Well, what's left of the other one.

[Carol] Oh, no!

[Peter] At least the mystery's solved.

Well, you'll have to go without them.

Honey, come on. We better get going.

Mom?

I'll promise I'll never take anything again

I'm not supposed to.

All right, Cindy,

but you and I are going to have

a long talk about this tomorrow.

Good night. Good night, Peter.

Good night.

Well, that's the end of the Great Earring Caper.

Peter, do you still have all those disguises

in your detective kit?

Yeah, why?

Because tomorrow I don't want Mom to know

which kid is me.

[door opens]

Oh, hi, folks.

You have a good time?

Oh, it was wonderful, Alice!

Hey, did your costumes win a prize?

No. We came in third.

Well, that isn't bad. Who won?

The Cunninghams.

And you'll never guess who they came as.

Romeo and Juliet.

Nope. Guess again.

George and Martha Washington?

[Mike] Nope.

Okay, I give up.

Sherlock Holmes and Watson.

[all laugh]