Original subtitles

Here's the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls.

All of them had hair of gold like their mother, the youngest one in curls.

It's the story of a man named Brady who was busy with three boys of his own.

They were four men living all together, yet they were all alone.

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow,

and they knew there was much more than a hunch.

That this group must somehow form a family.

That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.

The Brady Bunch.

The Brady Bunch.

That's the way we became the Brady Bunch.

Hey Marsh, wait up.

Hi Vicki.

Wasn't that a terrific football game Friday night?

Yeah, we've got a real team this year.

I mean, we've got Doug Simpson.

He's the whole team.

He's far out.

So rugged and handsome.

There are other values that are far more important, though.

Like what?

Well, give me time.

I'll think of something.

Don't look now, but he's right behind us.

Doug Simpson.

Just act casual.

Hi girls.

Morning, Doug.

Oh, Marsha.

I've been looking for you.

Me?

Yeah.

I was wondering if you'd like to go to a dance with me on Saturday night.

Yeah, I'd love to.

Great.

Saturday night then, okay?

Fine.

I'll see you.

Bye.

Date with Doug Simpson?

Can I touch you?

Might rub off.

Vicki?

What's the matter?

I just added something awful.

I've got a date with Charlie for Saturday night.

Charlie?

I was so shook up by Doug that I completely forgot.

Now I've got two dates for the same night.

What are you going to do?

Yeah, what am I going to do?

Hi, Charlie.

What's all this stuff?

Wallpaper samples for your folks.

From my dad's shop.

Say, is Marsha around?

No, Charlie.

She's not home from school yet.

You can turn your motor off.

Yeah, well, we'll see you.

Sure.

Alice, those cookies smell delicious.

They last till I get them to the cookie jar.

They sure do go fast.

In four years, not one of those kids has ever tasted a cold cookie.

Hi.

Dad sent these samples for your bedroom.

Oh, good.

Let's just put them down here on the table and have a look.

That's just some of them are pretty expensive.

But seeing that you're Marsha's mother, I think I can arrange a discount.

Would a few cookies get us a discount on the discount?

Thanks.

Hi.

Hi.

Better brace yourself.

Your heart-throb Charlie's inside.

Charlie's here?

He had to bring over some wallpaper.

Greg, I need your advice about something.

Sure.

What?

What's the easiest way to break a date with a guy?

Break a date?

Yeah.

Uh, you're telling me you're sick, or you had to go out of town?

You might see me at school.

Well, why don't you just do what we guys always do?

Just say, something suddenly came up.

Something suddenly came up.

That's all?

It always works.

Besides, it's not even a lie.

Thanks, Greg.

Do you have to break a date with Charlie?

Yeah.

How come?

Something suddenly came up.

My dad picked out these patterns for you himself.

That was very sweet of him.

How do you like this one, Mrs. Brady?

Oh, it looks good on you, Alice.

Well, let's see how it looks on the bedroom wall, okay?

Bye, Charlie.

Here's some cookies.

Oh, thanks.

We'll see you.

Hi.

Hi, Marsha.

Gee, I was hoping I'd get to see you.

Charlie, there's something that... Oh, Saturday night.

I can pick you up at seven.

And we can go to a movie.

And afterwards, maybe some pizza.

Well, I'm sorry... If you don't want pizza, we can have tacos.

It's not that... Hamburgers, chili dogs, you name it, you've got it.

Charlie, I have to break our date.

You do?

Gee, I hope nothing's wrong.

No, it's just that something suddenly came up.

Oh, well, I'm sure sorry.

So am I, but... Well, maybe we can make it some other time, huh?

Sure.

Yo, I better be getting back to the shop.

See you, Marsha.

Bye.

Out of the two, the only one I halfway like is one with the stripes.

No, I prefer the one with the roses.

Well, that's okay if this was just a ladies' room.

I mean just a room for ladies, but no, I like the stripes better.

Oh, honey, I'm afraid I'd feel like I was in jail.

No, I like the rose pattern much better.

Hi.

Did you decide anything yet?

No, Alice, which one do you like the best?

Me?

Yeah, which one do you like?

Which one do you like, Mr. Brady?

Oh, I like the stripes.

Oh, you couldn't have made a better choice.

There's nothing nicer than stripes.

I like the roses.

Unless, of course, it's roses.

Roses are so... rosy.

What about striped roses?

Rose-colored stripes?

Oh, come on, Alice, what do you honestly think?

I honestly think I should keep my mouth shut.

Hey, Bobby, look at the wallpaper.

It's really neat.

It sure doesn't match.

What do you think?

I like the roses best.

I like the stripes.

I like the way it runs in the family.

Come in.

I just wanted to thank you for your advice.

You mean about how to break your date?

Mm-hmm.

Worked fine.

How'd Charlie take it?

Okay.

Didn't seem to bother him at all.

Good.

But it made me feel awful.

Well, you wanted the date with Doug, didn't you?

Sure.

When I think about having the chance to go out with a guy like Doug, I feel fantastic.

He's so good-looking, popular and terrific.

Right.

But when I think about Charlie, he's just a plain, sweet, ordinary guy

sitting home alone.

I feel terrible.

Then just think about Doug.

You're right.

Doug's the biggest man on campus.

A girl would be out of their mind not to go out with him.

Sure.

But poor old Charlie.

Nice as can be.

All alone Saturday night.

I'm a rat.

Marsha, I can't keep up with you.

Me either.

It's not easy being a woman.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

It's a lot easier for you than it is for me.

Cindy, will you move?

I'm thinking.

You've only got one move to make and you're gonna lose.

So what's there to think about?

I'm thinking about losing.

Oh, come in, Charlie.

Hi, I just brought some new samples for your folks.

Oh, Mom's upstairs.

Is Marsha around?

No, she hasn't gotten back from school yet.

Oh.

Boy, he sure has hung up on Marsha.

Yeah, poor Charlie.

Too bad she had to break her date with him.

Why'd she break her date?

Something suddenly came up.

What?

You're too young to understand.

Oh, no, Doug's here.

So what?

Cindy, you're too young to understand.

Thanks.

Yeah, sure.

Thanks for the ride home, Doug.

Oh, anytime.

You make the car look great, Marsha.

Thanks.

Hey, don't forget about our date on Saturday night.

No way.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, I'd like you to meet my sister, Jan.

This is Doug Simpson.

Hi.

Hey, how'd you like to come in the house for a cold drink?

Uh, he can't.

What do you mean he can't?

We're all out of cold drinks.

Well, how about a cold piece of fruit or something?

Uh, we're all out of fruit, too.

And besides, it's such a mess upstairs with all those wallpaper samples.

So what?

We'll stay downstairs.

Well, there are wallpaper samples all over the place.

And that wallpaper didn't walk in by itself, you know.

Huh?

Somebody had to bring them.

Oh, yes, of course.

I know what you mean.

Jan's right.

The place is a mess.

Yeah, well, I've got to get to football practice anyway.

So I'll see you, Marsha.

Okay.

Oh, and nice meeting you, Jan.

Yeah.

Bye.

See you at school.

Okay, see you then.

Boy, thanks for telling me the charter was here.

That could have been a disaster.

I know.

What could have been a disaster?

Cindy, you're too young to understand.

I wish I was old enough to understand all these things I'm too young to understand.

Well, at last we found a pattern we can agree on.

Yeah, it only took two days and 100 samples.

Well, I'll give Charlie's father the order in the morning.

Hey, honey, wait a minute.

Hmm?

It just occurs to me.

What does?

Well, if we use this wallpaper, we're going to have to get new drapes.

Honey.

Yeah, and look at this carpeting.

If we get new wallpaper and new drapes, we're going to need new carpeting.

New carpeting?

Yeah, and look at the bedspread.

Honey, if we get new carpeting, new wallpaper and new

drapes, we're going to have to have a new bedspread.

Listen, honey, I got a great idea.

What?

Forget the wallpaper.

Let's paint.

Okay, let's paint, but we're still going to need

new carpeting, new drapes and a new bedspread.

Not if we repaint the same color.

Oh, honey.

Okay, it's last quarter.

One minute to go, and we're behind.

Seven to six.

Okay.

Hup, hup, hike!

Touchdown!

Me too.

I'm really looking forward to Saturday night, Dad.

I hate to say goodbye too.

Bye.

Doug?

Yeah?

When you come back to Earth, would you please go tell

the boys to come in and straighten up their room?

Yeah.

15, 64, 50, 80, 90, hike, hike!

Hey, you guys.

Oh, my nose!

Marcia!

You okay?

You hurt.

I'm really sorry.

Oh, let's take a look at it, honey.

It's getting bigger by the minute.

I think we better get it to a doctor right away.

I hope it isn't broken.

What's the difference?

There goes my date with Doug.

Look at my nose.

It's getting bigger by the minute.

Oh, it's not that big.

It just seems that way because you've been staring at it.

Well, how can I avoid it?

Wherever I look, there it is.

Look on the bright side.

The doctor said it wasn't broken.

Marcia?

I brought you some more ice.

No more ice, Cindy.

My nose is freezing.

It's turning blue.

Well, it's an ice shade of blue.

I wish I could go out on the date and leave my nose at home.

Well, Doug's a football player.

He's probably used to a lot of swollen noses.

Yeah, but not on girls.

Marcia, I'm proud to be your sister.

No matter how terrible you look.

Thanks a lot.

Hey, your nose is beginning to look better already.

Isn't it, girl?

Oh, yeah.

Why don't you try and take your mind off that nose?

Help your father and me.

We're just starting to paint the bedroom.

Oh, good.

Come on.

It's going to be a lot of fun, I think.

Get my mind off of it.

I'll never forget that football game as long as I live.

Hey, you guys.

Elway, no!

Elway, no!

Elway, no!

Okay, kids, let's get to work.

Now, remember, this is not a game.

Paint up and down, not in circles.

Neatness counts.

Yeah, be careful.

The paint goes on the walls, not on your clothes.

All right.

Okay, let's go.

You're never going to finish like that.

Let me show you how.

Give me your brush.

Hey, Pete?

Yeah?

Okay.

Didn't I tell you kids no games?

Besides, that's paint for the window trim.

Well, can't we just finish it?

Yeah.

You are finished.

Go.

Yeah.

Tripping time.

You can't go around school all day hiding behind that finder.

Well, I wouldn't have come to school at all today

if it hadn't have been for those two dumb tests.

Can't you just try and forget about your nose?

I can't.

I don't want Doug to see me until Saturday.

By then the swelling might go down.

Oh, I get it.

Well, keep it hidden in him.

See you.

Marsha, hey, I didn't recognize you behind your notebook.

I'll walk you to your next class.

Oh, that's okay.

I'm really thirsty.

Go on ahead.

Well, I'll wait.

That's okay.

I wouldn't want you to be late on account of me.

I've never seen anybody drink that much water.

You must be part camel.

Marsha, what happened?

The silliest little thing.

My brothers were playing football and my nose got in the way.

It's just a little bump.

Yeah.

Yeah, you can hardly even notice it.

Uh, look, Marsha, the reason I wanted to walk to

your class with you is I have to tell you something.

You see, I'm afraid I have to break our date for Saturday night.

Break our date?

Yeah.

Well, you see, something suddenly came up.

Something suddenly came up?

Yeah.

Well, I don't want you to be late for class, okay?

I'll see you.

Something suddenly came up.

It was your own bed, Miss Brady, but at least you won't be inhaling paint all night.

Yeah, I can inhale beautiful, pure, fresh smog.

Some choice.

I'm so glad Marsha finally went to sleep.

She was so upset.

Yeah, poor kid.

And she stood looking in the mirror, saying, Why me?

Why me?

Come to think of it, that's what I say when I look in a mirror, too.

Well, that ought to do it.

Good night, Mr. Brady.

Good night, Alice.

Thank you.

Well, good night, Mr. Brady.

Happy sofa.

Thanks, Alice, and my sacroiliac thanks you.

Mike, do you realize that this will be the first night since

we've been married that we haven't slept in the same bed?

Kind of breaks up the monotony, doesn't it?

Now, Mike, don't start that.

Aw, come on, can't you take a joke?

Sure.

I married you, didn't I?

Yep.

Wait a second.

I wonder who's in the kitchen.

I don't know.

Just one way to find out.

Who's in the kitchen?

It's me, Mom.

You want to talk?

Could we?

Sure.

Come on in, sweetheart.

I couldn't really sleep.

Marsha, honey, your nose isn't gonna be swollen forever.

Try to forget about Saturday night.

Even though it wasn't very nice of that boy to break your date.

I guess I deserve it.

I wasn't very nice myself.

What do you mean?

Well, I broke my date with Charlie for the same night, just

so I could go out with Doug Simpson, the big man on campus.

You're right.

That wasn't very nice.

I think your problem isn't a swollen nose.

It's a bruised conscience.

I guess so.

I came out to cheer you up.

Thanks, Cindy.

Want to go to the corner for some ice cream?

I found some money in the sofa.

No, thanks.

Marsha, do you mind being cheered up?

No, it's okay.

Because when someone tries to cheer you up, and you don't want to be cheered up,

it's not very cheery.

That's right.

Did I cheer you up?

I'm afraid not.

I guess I'll get some ice cream anyway.

Maybe it'll cheer me up.

Hey, Marsha, do you want to come listen to my new record album with me?

It's really far out.

I'm not in the mood for enjoying myself.

I've seen you down before, but this has got to be the downest.

Hi, Marsha.

Hi, Charlie.

I just stopped by to pick up the paintbrushes.

Gee, what happened to your nose?

I had a little accident.

That's too bad.

Hey, you know, I was thinking, if you can't go out with me Saturday,

how about Sunday?

Not with this nose.

Marsha, I want to take out all of you.

Not just your nose.

Charlie, I couldn't go out with you or anybody else looking like this.

Why is it that nights are so short and days are so long?

Oh, because during the day, we have to go to school.

Jan, look!

What?

Marsha, your nose!

Don't remind me.

I dreamt I was Pinocchio.

No, the spelling is gone.

Your nose is back to normal.

What?

Oh, my gosh!

It is back to normal.

It's me again.

Now the world can look me in the face and I can look back.

Oh, I can't believe it.

Hey, Doug, that was a great game you played last week.

Oh, thanks a lot.

Charlie.

Yeah, right, Charlie.

Hi, Greg.

Hi, Marsha.

Hey, Marsha, wait up.

Your nose is okay, huh?

Yeah.

Marsha, I was looking for you.

My aunt who was coming to town, she changed her plans.

So our date for Saturday night is still on, okay?

Sorry, Doug.

I can't make it.

You can't?

Something suddenly came up.

Oh, I see.

Well, if you change your plans, let me know, okay?

Sure.

See you.

See you, Doug.

Nice going, Marsha.

See you later.

Bye.

Charlie, is that you?

Hi, Marsha.

Hi.

Just tying my shoelace.

Hey, your nose is back to its old self.

Yeah, it's okay now.

But like I said, you look great with any kind of nose.

Thanks.

Charlie, there's something that I have to tell you.

What?

Well, I played a dirty trick on you.

Dirty trick?

I broke my date that I had with you for Saturday

because Doug Simpson asked me out for the same night.

That's something that suddenly came up.

You're right.

It was a dirty trick.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Hey, by the way, I'm still available if you want to go out with me Saturday night.

I'd like to.

Good.

I'll walk you to class.

Come on.

I tied my shoelace to the bench.

Charlie, are you all right?

Clumsy, but all right.

Getting kind of late.

Oh, honey, Marsha's just having a good time.

I'm not worried.

I just said it was getting kind of late.

My goodness, it is getting late.

Well, don't worry.

She's just having a good time.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Hi, sweetheart.

You and Charlie have a good time?

Oh, yeah.

The movie was great.

Charlie's really super.

Sounds like you had fun.

Mm-hmm.

Guess who we ran into later at the pizza place.

Don't tell me.

Doug Simpson?

Big man on campus?

Yep.

Was it uncomfortable?

Well, Doug started teasing me about breaking

my date with him, so Charlie defended me.

They got into a fight.

A fight?

I hope nobody was hurt.

I'm afraid he was.

His nose was swollen up like a balloon.

Aw, poor Charlie.

Charlie?

It was Doug.

Charlie really belted him.

Doug was so embarrassed that he ran home.

Isn't that dumb?

It's because of a swollen nose.

What an ego.

Well, it seems to me I remember somebody else who felt exactly

the same way when her nose was swollen up like a balloon.

Who?

Who?

You.

Me?

Good short memory.

Good night.

Good night, honey.

Good night.

Yeah, it looks great.

Yeah, it really does.

It looks like it was done by professional painters.

Well... Mike, it just occurs to me.

What?

Well, now that we've painted this bedroom, it looks so

great, it's going to make the hallway look really shabby.

Oh, Carol.

I think we're going to have to paint the hallway.

Just the hallway, huh?

Well, now that you mention it, we probably have to paint the stairs too.

Yeah, now that I mention it.

Yeah, and probably the entry hall.

And while we're at it, we might as well paint your den.

You'd like to have your den painted, wouldn't you, Mike?

Mike?

Mike?

Ah!

We can paint, can't we?

We just did.

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