Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was ♪

♪ Much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must ♪

♪ Somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all ♪

♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

[sniffs] Oh, boy. Mm!

That meat loaf does smell good.

Yeah, and it will be just perfect for Marcia

after her visit to the dentist.

Last time I went to the dentist

the only thing I could chew was ice cream.

[shuffling her feet]

[sighs]

Marcia, are you all right?

Mm-hmm.

Are you in pain?

Pain?

You did go to the dentist today,

didn't you?

Mm-hmm.

I don't know what he gave her,

but I'd like some.

Well, honey, what did Dr. Gordon say

about your teeth?

Dr. Gordon?

Oh, he's on vacation in Europe.

I saw Dr. Vogel.

Dr. Stanley Vogel.

Oh, you should see him.

He is far out.

Dr. Vogel must be Dr. Gordon's new associate.

Mm-hmm.

He has dark, gorgeous hair, dreamy eyes,

groovy bell-bottom pants,

neat shoes...

and he plays the best rock and roll music

in his office.

What does he use on your teeth, a guitar pick?

What did Dr. Vogel say about your teeth?

My teeth? Oh, he liked them.

That's nice.

Oh, and the best part's Thursday!

What's Thursday?

I get to go back for my filling.

[sighs]

Boy, that Dr. Vogel sounds like

the greatest thing that's happened to dentistry

since novocain.

What are you staring at?

My teeth.

You've seen them before lots of times.

I know, but they're different now.

Hey, listen to this.

"Are you an old maid at 19?"

You and those Teentime Romance magazines.

Marcia, if I didn't read this magazine

I wouldn't understand life's problems.

I wish I was old enough to have problems.

Listen. "One way to achieve a successful marriage

is for a girl to marry a man..."

Well, big deal. Even I know that.

It's continued, dum-dum.

"...to marry a man who is ten to 12 years older than she is."

Hey, that's interesting.

What else does it say?

Well, it says that an older man

will be more stable, tender and understanding.

Yeah... that makes sense.

Maybe that's why I like Joey Vinton.

He's an older man.

He's 12.

Cindy, they're not talking about children.

They're talking about men.

They leave out the most important thing:

Where do you find older men?

Well, I guess, if you're lucky enough

you could find one anywhere.

Maybe even in a dentist's office.

You mean that new dentist, Dr. Vogel?

How old is he?

I don't know... 27 or 28.

Gee, that's old.

Hey, according to this article

he'd be perfect for you.

There's only one problem.

To him, I'm just a mouthful of teeth.

Hi, honey.

[Carol] Hi, dear.

Say, something smells good.

Yeah, it's my new perfume.

That's funny 'cause it smells like meat loaf.

Ah, yes, his lips are in the living room,

but his heart is in the kitchen.

Ah, yeah. Anything new?

-Yeah. You got a call from Miss Miller. -Miss Miller?

Yes. She has a very throaty, sexy voice.

Oh, yeah? What'd she say?

She said, "Tell Mr. Brady

he has an appointment... tomorrow."

[chuckles]

"With the dentist."

Oops. I forgot about that.

Mm. Gee, my teeth are beginning to hurt already.

According to Marcia,

you haven't got a thing to worry about.

The dentist is a dreamboat.

Since when is old Dr. Gordon a dreamboat?

No, no. It's his assistant, Dr. Vogel.

Marcia says

"When he looks at you with those big blue eyes

he's painless."

Well, I hope his bill is painless.

[laughs]

Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?

Well, I wouldn't say I exactly enjoyed it.

I've had a rougher time in a barber chair.

Well, I must be doing something right.

You know, my daughter thinks

you're quite a dentist.

Well, thanks. She's a sharp, nice young lady.

Yeah. She's awarded you, you know,

her generation's supreme compliment: you are groovy.

I told you she was sharp.

By the way, does she ever do any baby-sitting?

-Yeah, sometimes on the weekends. -Good.

My wife and I have a three-year-old

and we need a sitter this Friday.

I'm sure she'd be happy to if she's available.

Of course, you have to supply the essentials.

Essentials?

A television set, a refrigerator and at least one telephone.

[laughs] Okay.

[Greg] Hey! This is going to be a neat looking go-cart.

If we ever get it finished.

Where'd you get the engine?

From Mr. Morton's old lawnmower.

-Isn't it neat? -It's terrific.

So you guys can go for a ride

and mow the street at the same time.

Very funny.

I was only kidding. Can I give you a hand?

-Sure. -Thanks.

We'll give you a ride sometime.

Thanks, Bobby.

-Hey, Marcia. -Hmm?

Uh, I got a message for you from Eddie Bryan.

What about?

We're going bowling Friday night.

He wants to take you.

Well, I guess it's okay.

What do you mean, you guess it's okay?

Eddie Bryan!

Well, if you ask me, he's kind of immature.

What do you mean, immature?

Just what I said. He's only a boy.

Marcia, what are you talking about?

He's the same age I am.

That's what I mean: immature.

Let's get this thing finished so I can run her over.

Alice? What are you doing?

-I'm listening to clinks. -"Clinks"?

Yeah, sometimes I suck up some loose change

and it makes clinks.

We should try to clink up a new sofa.

Hi, honey.

-hi, sweetheart. -Hi, Alice.

Hey, quick, tell me how was your dental appointment?

Oh, shade your eyes.

I can't stand the glare.

How is Dr. Vogel?

You know, Marcia's right. He is indeed

charming and groovy.

Gee, I'm not supposed to see him for another month,

maybe I can get my appointment pushed up.

What I need is a couple of good, quick cavities.

No, sorry, Alice. He's married and he has a family.

By the way, you know, Dr. Vogel asked if

Marcia could babysit Friday night.

Yeah, I don't see why not. Why don't you go ask her?

-She's up in her room studying. -Okay.

Hi, kids.

-Hi. -Hi, honey.

Say, Marcia, are you busy Friday night?

Uh, I have a date, Dad. Why?

Oh, well, nothing.

If you're busy, it's not important.

Hey, Dad, what's not important?

Oh, well, Dr. Vogel wanted to know

if you were free Friday night,

but if you're busy, forget it.

Did you hear that! Oh!

He wants to know if I'm busy Friday night!

He actually noticed you.

I can't believe it!

And he's an older man.

According to Teentime Romance,

you're the perfect couple.

I wonder why he asked Dad and not me.

Well, that's the way they always did it in the olden times.

The boyfriend asked permission

from the father first.

Sure. Don't you watch old movies?

Oh, an older man noticed me!

-Oh, no. It's terrible. -What?

Well... I have a dentist appointment tomorrow

and... I don't have a thing to wear.

I think we're all set to drive.

Good. I get the feeling I forgot something.

-What? -I forget.

Here goes!

Come on.

Harder.

This is as hard as I can pull it.

Oh, no, it's...

Oh, for cryin' out loud, there's no gas!

That's what I forgot!

-[whistles] -Hey, look at you.

Do my eyes deceive me?

You're wearing girls' clothes!

I have a very important appointment.

What kind of appointment?

It doesn't concern you children.

Well, la di da!

Just go off and play with your dumb little toys.

[engine starts]

And the same to you!

I hope that didn't hurt.

-What didn't hurt? -The drill.

Oh, I loved it.

You can't believe

how many people complain, but not you.

I never complain.

Rinse, please.

Well, that's one of things I like about you.

Mm... I love the taste of your mouthwash.

By the way, what about Friday night?

Did your father mention it?

Yeah... but I sort of have a date.

It's not really a date.

It's only with Eddie Bryan, a youth at school.

Oh. That's too bad.

I'll have to find someone else.

I've got tickets for the ballet.

The ballet?

You like the ballet?

I'm mad about it.

I've never been, but I'm mad about it.

Let's see how that looks.

Open wide, please.

Uh, I'm sure Eddie will understand.

I can break a date.

Just keep opening wide, Marcia.

I wouldn't want you to break a date.

It's not important.

No, no, no. There will be other nights.

Wider, please.

It's okay. I'm sure it is.

You're sure it's no trouble?

Positive.

All right, then-- Friday.

I can't stay out very late, though.

Oh, no problem.

The ballet ought to be over by 11:00.

Wonderful.

Could you be ready at 7:00?

Oh, I can be ready even earlier.

No, 7:00 is fine.

I'll pick you up at your house.

[whispering] Wow.

We ought to paint a number on it--

a really good number.

What do you mean, a really good number?

One like... 99.

What's so great about 99?

Well... if it ever turns over, then it's 66!

Hey, how about 66?

If it ever turns over, it'll be...

[all] 99.

Hey, you guys could make it 88.

Then, if it turns over, it'll still be 88.

-Hey, Marcia! -Hey! Watch out!

We're trying to paint this thing.

Really! You children and your juvenile hobbies.

Children?

Since when did you get to be so old?

[in elderly voice] Eh? Speak up, can't hear you.

Greg, would you come here a minute?

Uh, would you tell Eddie Bryan that...

I can't go out with him Friday night?

I have another date.

You can't do that to him.

I already told him you'd go.

He's already shaved!

I'm sorry,

but I've got more mature things to do.

-Hi, Mom. -Hi.

-Uh... Mom? Yeah?

Did, uh, Dad mention anything

about Dr. Vogel and Friday night?

Yes, he did mention it.

And it's okay?

Sure. Why not?

It'll be a good experience for you.

Wow! So, with the traffic and everything

I may not be home till about midnight...

and it's still okay?

As long as I know where you are, dear,

I won't worry.

Oh, Mom,

you're the most understanding mother in the whole world!

What'd I say?

Jan...

Jan.

He did it.

He asked me for a date.

Who did?

Dr. Vogel!

Oh, Marcia, your first older man.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

Thanks.

Where are you going to meet him?

-He's coming here! -Here?

Yeah, Friday night at 7:00.

Well, is it all right with Mom and Dad?

Mom said it would be a good experience!

Oh, wow, that's great, Marcia!

Too much!

[gasps] A first date...

can lead to a second date...

and then that might lead to a third...

and then... maybe even going steady...

and that might lead to... marriage!

Imagine... me...

Mrs. Marcia Dentist.

[Marcia] Mrs. Marcia Dentist.

Mrs. Marcia Dentist!

[man] Marcia Brady, do you promise to love, honor

brush up and down

and see your dentist twice a year?

I do.

And you, Dr. Dentist, do you take Marcia for better or worse

for cavities, for root canal work and orthodontia?

I do.

With the powers vested in me by the Dental Association,

I now pronounce you wife and dentist.

[Jan] Marcia?

I'm talking to you.

[chuckles] I guess I was daydreaming.

What a dream.

Marcia? Dinner's about ready.

-You better get cleaned up. -Okay.

[Bobby] Mom! Where's dinner?

-We're starved! -Any minute now.

Cindy, will you get me a couple of napkins please?

Okay.

[Carol] Well, Alice, I think we're just about ready.

[Alice] So are the dinner rolls.

[Bobby] Mummy...

Oh, Mummy.

We are quite ready for dinner.

We're dreadfully hungry.

In a moment, my angels.

[singing]

Oh, mon petit Cindy

get me two napkins, s'il vous plait.

Oui, Mademoiselle Alice.

And I shall help you!

Ah, madam, the children, they are...

fantastique.

A blessing.

[sighs]

[Carol] Dinner, Marcia.

Marcia!

Oh, uh, I'm coming, Mom.

Hi, honey.

[Carol] Hi, dear.

Boy, you look beat.

Yeah. what a day.

Really rough, huh?

[Mike] Well, there's no pleasing some clients.

Give 'em modern 'cause they ask for modern,

they want early American.

[Carol] Well, maybe tomorrow will be better.

I doubt it.

Mm...

Hello, my dearest.

[Marcia] Hi, honey.

[both] Mm.

-Rough day? -Oh, brutal.

The way people thoughtlessly break appointments.

Oh...

Rinse. You'll feel better.

I feel better just being with you.

Patient trouble?

The Levine kid bit me!

Again?!

That makes the third time this month.

And if that wasn't enough,

I spent all afternoon

extracting an impacted molar.

I'm so proud of you, my darling.

Because of you, there's one less

impacted molar in the world.

Relax. You're at home with me now.

[sighs]

Are you sure?

That's awful.

Well, I'll have to tell Marcia.

Oh, well, thanks. Bye.

-Marcia? -Yeah?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Well, make it short, okay?

I've got to get on this algebra.

Well, I was just talking to my friend Cathy.

And she's got a friend who has a sister, and...

she was thinking of going out

-with a married man. -Mm-hmm.

What do you think of that?

Well, I think that's terrible.

But, uh, what if she was in love with this man?

Well, it still doesn't make any difference.

He's a married man.

But what if she didn't find that out

till after they fell in love?

Well, it's still wrong.

Can you imagine what kind of life

this poor girl would have?

Hiding in the shadows,

waiting by herself as the clock ticks off the empty hours,

doomed to be the other woman for life!

That's not for me.

I'm glad to hear you say that,

because... he's married.

Who's married?

Dr. Vogel, your date.

He's got a wife, children,

maybe even a dog.

Dr. Vogel?

Yes.

Cathy's parents are friends

of Dr. Vogel and his wife.

Are you absolutely positive?

[Jan] Positive.

What are you going to do?

[sighs] I don't know.

Hi, Alice.

Hi, honey.

Alice, can I talk to you?

Sure, sweetie.

I mean, woman to woman.

Be a little hard for us to do it any other way.

This is serious.

Oh.

Well, sure, honey.

Here... sit down.

Let's talk.

Well...

suppose you found out something

about your boyfriend Sam.

Like what?

Well... suppose all the time that you've been dating

Sam's been married to someone else.

Marcia, do you know something I don't know?

No! I'm just supposing, that's all.

But what would you do

if you found out Sam was married?

Well, no butcher better tell me

something like that with a meat cleaver on the counter.

You're sure we're not talking about Sam now?

Oh, positive.

It's some other woman

who's facing that problem.

Somebody you know?

Yeah.

And I was hoping you could give her some advice.

Oh, well, I'd say stop the romance right away.

How?

Well, I'm not sure--

my problems with romance have never been stopping one,

it's always been starting one.

I mean, how would you stop it, Alice?

Would you write him a letter

or phone him, or what?

Oh, no. I'd face him with it

right away, face to face!

Get it over with real quick, huh?

[Alice] Right.

Thanks, Alice.

Dr. Vogel?

Oh, hi, Marcia.

Uh, did we have an appointment?

No, but I had to see you at once.

No, don't tell me that filling came out.

Please, sit in the chair.

Dr. Vogel...

I can't go on like this!

Well, I'm sure you can't.

The pain must be pretty bad.

I almost couldn't do my algebra test!

Marcia, why didn't you call me at home?

That would have even been more painful.

More painful?

Dr. Vogel, we can't go on

seeing each other like this,

even though we haven't had our first date!

Our first date? I...

I know you were afraid

if you told me you were married

I wouldn't have accepted.

I realize that older men

are attracted to younger girls.

I read Teentime Romance magazine.

Oh, I can see you do.

Do you mean the date I asked your father about?

Yes. It was very gallant of you to ask his permission.

Oh, I think I understand.

I'm flattered that you find me attractive, but...

I couldn't break up your marriage.

Marcia...

you're wiser than your years.

That's why I have to give you up, Doctor.

If that's what you really want.

That's the way it has to be.

I give you back

to your wife and your children.

I thank you, Marcia.

My wife and children thank you, too.

Dr. Vogel?

I think you should know that...

I'm not ever going to say anything about this

to my friends or my family.

Believe me, Marcia, I won't either.

-Oh, by the way... -Yes?

I'll still be in on Wednesday to have my teeth cleaned.

[chuckles]

Greg? Greg?

I don't know if I want to talk to a chick

who breaks dates with my friends.

Does... does Eddie Bryan have another date

for Friday night yet?

No, thanks to you.

Good. 'Cause I want to call him right now.

I'd love to go out with him.

Wait a minute, I thought you said

Eddie was too immature for you.

You know, there's a lot to be said

for growing old together.

-Come on, Marcia! -Would you calm down?

Eddie can't hold that bowling lane all night! Hurry up.

Good night, kids, have fun.

-Bye-bye. You, too. -Don't be late.

Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad.

And drive carefully.

[Greg] I will.

I wonder what changed her mind about Dr. Vogel tonight.

I don't know, and she really seemed

to be looking forward to it, too.

I know why Marcia changed her mind about Dr. Vogel tonight.

Why?

Well...

I better not tell you.

You're not young enough to know.

Oh, teenagers--

by the time you understand what they're talking about

they're not teenagers anymore.

[motor repeatedly fails to start]

This thing's never going to work.

I've about had it.

Where are we going to get a new motor?

Next time, I'll handle it.

[motor starts]

[engine backfires]

Hey, um, guys...

Um... uh... Stop... stop it!

-Hey, look! -[yelling]

[screams]

[yelling]