Original subtitles

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Come on, Peter!

Give somebody else a chance!

All I was doing was brushing my teeth.

Well, how many teeth have you got?

The same amount as you,

but my mouth isn't as big as yours.

Oh, ho, ho.

It's all yours, Your Highness.

Oh, very...

Cindy!

( chuckles )

Cindy!

Marcia, wait a minute. That's my bike.

I know. Mine has a flat. I won't be long.

( music playing over TV )

( switch clicks )

What are you doing?

I was watching a movie.

Jan, we want to watch a ball game.

Yeah, you can watch a movie any old time.

But I want to see this movie.

Come on.

( talking over each other ) ( knob clatters on floor )

That's your fault!

It is not! You broke it! You made me.

Now we're going to miss the ball game. I did not!

( arguing loudly )

Okay! Okay! Everybody, please.

Now, what's the problem?

I'll tell you what the problem is:

You have to wait in line for everything around here.

Someone's always borrowing your things.

I never have any privacy

because I've got too many brothers and sisters.

I wish I were an only child.

I have to live with five brothers and sisters

all day... every day.

Okay, honey,

but they have to live with you, too.

Well, I wish they didn't.

I'm tired of getting pushed around.

Jan, you're not getting pushed around.

Listen, when you live in a large family,

you have to learn to give and take a little bit.

Well, my friend Donna doesn't.

She doesn't have any of these problems.

Yeah, but does your friend Donna have any brothers and sisters?

No, and she couldn't be happier.

She doesn't have to wait for the phone

or the bathroom or anything.

She has all the privacy she wants.

Now, just a minute, Jan.

There are two sides to that.

Donna also doesn't have anyone to help her with her homework

or to play or to go places with.

Well, that sounds great.

Well, Jan, what's good for one person

isn't always good for another.

Listen, I think you ought to consider yourself

a very lucky young lady.

Hear, hear.

Mom, Donna invited me

to spend Saturday night at her house.

Okay?

Saturday night?

Now, Jan, you know that's the night of the square dance.

We're going to be a square.

Well, couldn't Alice take my part?

Well, yes, I suppose she could,

but it wouldn't be the same without you, honey.

We're going as a family.

That's what I mean!

Donna doesn't have to do family things.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have any brothers or sisters.

Then I could do what I wanted without anybody to bug me.

Hi Alice

hi

one left

Bobby you comeback here

Alice, ya Bobby you come back here

why am I hollering for Bobby to come back here?

becuase he just took my apple

oh if that's all that's bothering you no problem

well that was the last appe Alice

oh no no this is the last apple

you're something else Alice thanks

Alice

Mr. Brady's gonna drive me to the market to pick up a few things

I thought we finished all the shopping yesterday?

Oh well this is for something special

I decided to make strawberry preserves for the auction at the charity ho-down

you did? ya

is something wrong?

no. no it's just that I was going to make strawberry preserves for the auction myself

well my mine are from my grandmother's secret recipe Alice. Won 4 blue ribbons for it

Must have been really something

My aunt's secret recipe won 6 ribbons

Look Alice why can't we both make preserves?

I mean it's no contest between us right?

Okay I'll go pick up those things

by the way what's in your aunt's secret recipe?

oh I guess most of the same things that are in your grandmother's secret recipe

bye

Hey, these sacks will be great

for the potato-sack race at the hoedown.

Yeah. Uh... don't you think

we'd better clean them out first?

Nah, we'll just jump the dust out of them.

Hi. Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Hi.

What are you doing?

Have you got a problem?

No. We're just getting

the sacks ready for the race.

Maybe we'll win a prize. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait till you see what we got

for the square dance. Yeah.

Wow. Look here.

Think the rain's gonna hurt the rhubarb?

No, but I sure hope it kills the corn.

Hey, it should be a lot of fun Saturday night, huh?

Yeah. You know, I hope Jan changes her mind

and decides to come with us.

Well, honey, don't worry if she doesn't.

Jan's going through a phase.

She's thinks she doesn't have any privacy.

It'll pass.

We all treat each other the same.

She has as much privacy as the rest of us.

Well, be a little considerate of her

till she gets over her phase.

Okay, we'll try

and take kindly to the critter.

Yes, sir, we'll try.

( all laughing )

The reason I called, Amy,

is that groovy red hair and mysterious green eyes

really turn me on.

It's Greg Brady.

You remember, I talked to you in school yesterday

about the charity hoedown Saturday night.

Yeah, well, I thought if you were going...

Oh, it never fails!

One of them's always on the phone

when you want to use it.

Do you mind? I'm trying to...

Uh, uh, Jan, listen, if you need it,

I'll let you have the phone.

Listen, Amy, can I call you back later?

Okay, good-bye.

Here you are, Jan. It's all yours.

gee thanks

75, 80, 90,95

I've got 95 cents, how much do you got?

I got 60 cents

let's see 95 and 60

thats a dollar 55

hey thats more thatn we need

what is this big financial transaction?

we finally got enough money to buy a trick rope for the square dance Saturday night

don't forget 95 cents of that rope is mine

you only get to use 60 cents worth

okay I'll take 30 cents worth on each end

now I don't understand that but it sounds mighty shrewed.

Look, Alice. Hmm?

Isn't that a pretty bracelet?

Oh, yeah. It's absolutely free.

Well, you'd better read that small print

and see how free that "free" is.

Well, you do have to subscribe

to this new teen magazine for $1.50,

and as usual, I'm broke.

Think we ought to lend Jan the money?

Are you nuts?

What for?

To be considerate, like Mom and Dad said.

Look, she's done a lot of nice things for you.

Like what?

Well, like...

well, like she helped you with your homework.

Homework's one thing. Money's another.

Well, I'm going to lend her my money.

There goes the rope trick.

You can put your money back in your bank

or you can be a nice guy.

What a rotten choice.

Hey, Jan, how'd you like to get

that money for your bracelet?

Would I?

But it's only a loan.

What's the catch?

No catch. Just pay it back whenever you can.

Don't rush.

We're just trying to help you, that's all.

Gee, thanks.

That was a very nice gesture, fellows.

You deserve to have something nice done for you.

How about giving us $1.55?

Come on.

Ow! Freckles aren't supposed to hurt.

That's enough.

Cindy, you want to see how you'll look

before you go to the square dance, don't you?

Yeah, but you better not put too many on me,

or else they won't let me in.

Why?

They'll think I have the measles.

( laughs ) Hi.

Hi.

I'm sorry, Jan.

I was sitting on your bed.

I'll straighten it out.

I'll clean these things off your desk

in case you want to use it.

Oh, and any time you want your bed straightened,

I'll be glad to do it. Cindy, come on.

Let's do the freckles downstairs, okay?

CINDY: Have a nice privacy!

Alice, would you like to see what's in my recipe?

I mean, I really have no secrets.

No, I know you don't, Mrs. Brady.

I wouldn't want my recipe to be a secret, either.

Alice, could I borrow some of the sugar, please?

Oh, sure.

Thanks. Mm-hmm.

Hmm, very interesting.

One cup of sugar

to three-quarters of a cup of fruit.

Oh, is that what I used?

Mm.

Three dashes, huh?

Oh, well, who counts?

I think mine's ready to boil.

Mine, too.

Hey, what's cooking?

Oh, hi, honey.

Alice and I are making strawberry preserves

for the charity auction.

Yes, Mrs. Brady and I

are both making preserves for the auction.

Honey, which pot do you think looks the best?

What is this, a contest?

No. Are you kidding? Absolutely not.

Not at all. we were just curious.

Yeah, listen, just to satisfy my own curiosity,

I came in about my overalls.

Either these things were made for Paul Bunyan

or two guys to wear at the same time.

Ouch!

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

Well, look, look, just stay still, okay?

Could you use shorter pins there?

Well, try not to move.

Okay, how that's for length, Mr. Brady?

Let's see... Ow!

Mike, I told you not to move.

Well, you leave the length to me, Mr. Brady.

I'll make sure they're high enough

to show your purple, checkered socks.

Bring a tourniquet. I'm bleeding to death.

Alice, have you seen my magazine?

Well, isn't that it?

Oh, yes, thank you.

Reckon I'd better go get myself

some more pins.

Okay, now just stand still like that.

Oh, Jan, listen, would you like to try on

your dress for the square dance?

How come you got me one?

Well, I just thought

maybe you'd change your mind and come with us.

Yeah, we're going to have a lot of fun.

Well, I promised Donna that I'd spend Saturday night with her.

Well, couldn't you spend some other night with Donna?

I guess.

I'll have to think about it.

What are you doing?

Standing still.

( laughs )

Oh... you can use the stairs

if you want to.

I'll wait till later.

Cindy, what's going on around here?

I was just trying to be considerate.

Everybody is.

How come everybody's so nice to me all of a sudden?

Because you're supposed to be.

What do you mean, supposed to be?

We're supposed to be nice to you until you get over your problem.

Then we can forget about you again.

So that's it!

I didn't really mean... Come on.

JAN: Greg, Bobby, Peter!

BOBBY: What does she want?

GREG: What's going on?

Marcia, come in here a minute.

I want to talk to you.

GREG: Jan, what's this about?

Okay, you can just cut out the special treatment.

Cindy told me everything.

Well, not everything.

Just what I wasn't supposed to.

You're a bunch of fakes.

That's what you are.

What do you mean, fakes?

I don't need your help,

and I don't need your special treatment.

Jan, take it easy.

And I don't need you for brothers and sisters, either.

See? Never lend a relative money.

Who asked you to do it?

If I were an only child,

I wouldn't have any phony brothers and sisters.

Who needs you?

You mean that, Jan?

You're right. I sure do.

Well, if that's what you want,

I'm sure it could be arranged, right, you guys?

( agreements muttered )

You just lost yourself

five brothers and sisters.

And you can have the whole house

to yourself. Great.

For us, too.

As far as you're concerned,

we don't even exist. Yeah, we're not even here!

GREG: Consider us invisible.

Come on, gang, let's disappear.

Yeah, let's go.

BOBBY: Let's disappear.

Why are we leaving for?

Yeah, this is our room.

( "Turkey in the Straw" playing )

Isn't this great, Donna?

I can talk on the phone

whenever I want as long as I want.

Well, I'll explain Saturday night

when I sleep over at your house.

Oh, that music's just my family practicing

for that corny square dance.

( shouting and squealing )

I think that's enough for tonight.

As they say down on the farm, Pappy's pooped.

( all laugh )

MARCIA: Oh, wow, that was fun.

Do you mind?

I'd like to go upstairs.

Don't mind us.

We're invisible, remember?

( sighs )

Now, what was that all about?

Oh, we agreed to make a deal with her.

What kind of a deal?

Well, she's always complaining

about wanting to be an only child.

So, what's the deal?

That's the way she wants it.

When she's around, we don't exist.

We're invisible.

Uh-oh, Mike. What do you think?

Well, I think it's better if the kids

sometimes work out things for themselves.

You know, if that's the kind of medicine Jan wants,

I think she's about to get a big dose of it.

Well, here we go.

See you later, Mom.

Where are you going, honey?

To the library.

Okay, but be back by 1:00.

Alice doesn't run an all-day lunch counter.

Hey! Just a minute, you.

What? What do you think you're doing?

That's my sweater.

So what? I always borrow your sweater.

Well, not anymore.

You no longer have a sister named Marcia,

and if there's no Marcia,

there's no Marcia's sweater.

But, Marcia... Okay, kids, okay.

Mom, we made a deal, remember?

Yes, I remember.

And I'm sticking to it.

Jan, do you want to stick to it?

Yes.

Fine. I'll just take my invisible sweater

and... vanish.

That's not fair.

I'm afraid it is, honey.

You can't have it both ways.

So long.

Finish your second hamburger already parnter?

yup

for little varmet you've got the fastest mouth in the west

I'm sorry I'm late Alice

I guess Bobby ate the last hamburger

Ah remember honey I came from a large family myself and it teaches you to be ready for any emergency

this is the last hamburger

thank you

now I can't tell you where I have them stashed but incase you need them I've also got the last pare, the last peach and the

last banana

Pass the potato chips Bobby

I said pass the potato chips

Alice will you pass what her name the potato chips?

they're right in front of you, have your arms suddenly gone short?

well you see I can't pass them I'm not here

you're not here?

tha's right

how bout' you Jan are you here?

of course I'm here

you're here but he isn't. that's right

Hi, Alice.

How about you, Greg?

How about me, what?

Are you here?

He isn't here, either.

Yeah, that's right.

Will somebody please tell me

what's not going on around here?

I guess we should have filled you in, Alice.

Sit down and I'll explain.

Before I sit down, tell me one thing.

What? Is that chair here?

( both laughing )

( laughs )

Right in the face.

I wonder what kind of pie that was.

Wasn't that funny, Pete?

( dog barks on TV )

Isn't that terrific

the way they can make those dogs

do those backflips?

I wonder how they do that. Isn't that cute, Cindy?

Hey, Marcia, would you...?

MIKE: Hi, honey, I'm home.

We're in here, Mike.

Hey, I do believe

I've died and gone to strawberry heaven.

You want a taste?

Sure. Okay.

Mm, fantastic!

Well, that's Grandma's old recipe for you.

Try mine, Mr. Brady.

Yeah.

Alice, that's out of this world.

Good old Aunt Millie.

Do you think Alice's tastes better than mine?

Well, I didn't say that, honey.

You mean Mrs. Brady's tastes better than mine?

I didn't say that, either.

Well, uh, what do you say?

Tell it like it is, Mr. Brady.

Well...

Yes?

Let me put it this way.

Yes?

I don't want to scrub the kitchen.

I don't want to sleep in the den.

I ain't saying.

Chicken.

On your mark, get set... go!

Go, Cindy, come on!

Come on, Bobby! Come on, Bobby!

( shouting over each other )

Hurry, go!

PETER: Come on, Bobby!

Go! Go!

Catch 'em! Catch 'em! Go!

MARCIA: Good! Come on back!

GREG: Come on back!

Hi, Dad.

Hi, honey.

Mind if I watch?

No.

Not if you find supermarkets interesting.

I'm crazy about supermarkets.

Wouldn't you rather be doing

something more interesting?

Uh-uh. This is very interesting.

I think the kids are out back

practicing the sack race.

I know.

Looks dull.

( sniffles )

Besides, they probably wouldn't want me

out there anyway.

Well, you know, sweetheart,

sometimes when you make a deal

that turns out badly,

the best thing to do is to get out of it.

Did they say it was a bad deal?

No, no, no, but you never know.

Sometimes when you find it's turned out badly,

there's every chance that, uh, they think it has, too, huh?

I don't know.

Oh, come on, come on.

You think about it, hmm?

Okay. Here.

Okay?

Yeah.

Go get 'em.

The boys against the girls.

Wait, wait, wait. Cindy can't hop as far.

Yeah, I have shorter legs.

( all shouting and arguing )

Hold it, hold it, hold it!

Come on, Cindy, we'll team up

and we'll beat them. I'll be the lineman.

Bobby, come on.

GREG: Hurry up.

I'm going to start right away.

On your marks, get set...

go!

( all shouting )

Look out!

No! Come on!

Move it, Jan!

I won't! No! Move it.

No! Run along, Miss Only Child.

Well, if I'm an only child, this is my backyard.

( all talking and shouting )

All right!

I'll get out of your way on a couple of conditions.

What?

That you let me in the race.

Yeah?

And that you promise to be

my brothers and sisters again.

Are you sure that's what you want, Jan?

Positive.

Once you've been pushed around

by brothers and sisters like you,

you sure do miss it.

Nice to have you back.

GREG: Hey, Jan, grab a sack.

I'll be your partner!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I forgot something. I'll be right back.

Hey, where are you going, honey?

To call Donna to tell her I can't stay over

because I'm going to the hoedown.

Oh, that's terrific! Hey!

Hey, I've got an idea.

Is it okay if I invite Donna

to come with us?

Sure. That's a good idea.

Good. Then she won't be an only child, either.

GREG: Hey, Alice.

Why don't you fill in for Jan?

I need a partner.

Oh, no. No thanks.

Oh, go on, Alice. Oh, come on.

You can do it. Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken.

All right, I'll give it a try.

Hey, what are we standing here for?

That looks like fun.

Well, I'm game if you are.

Come on.

On your mark, get set, go!

( all talking excitedly )

I know why they only have this hoedown once a year.

Why? Whew! Takes that long

for your feet to recover.

Okay, everybody, it's been a big night.

Let's hit the sack.

PETER: Okay, Dad, we'll be up in a minute.

( all talking )

( Alice whistles )

Hold it, gang, hold it!

Now, look, I've had a long, hard day,

and I am pooped, so please, until tomorrow morning,

it's my turn to be invisible.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org