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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:04,129 ♪ Here's the story ♪ 2 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,672 ♪ Of a lovely lady ♪ 3 00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,257 ♪ Who was bringing up ♪ 4 00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:09,384 ♪ Three very lovely girls ♪ 5 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,053 ♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪ 6 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,180 ♪ Like their mother ♪ 7 00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:17,017 ♪ The youngest one in curls ♪ 8 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:21,021 ♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪ 9 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:25,025 ♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪ 10 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:28,611 ♪ They were four men living all together ♪ 11 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:31,072 ♪ Yet they were all alone ♪ 12 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:35,368 ♪ Till the one day when the lady met this fellow ♪ 13 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:39,164 ♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪ 14 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:43,793 ♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪ 15 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:46,546 ♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪ 16 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:49,007 ♪ The Brady Bunch ♪ 17 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,134 ♪ The Brady Bunch ♪ 18 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:56,848 ♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪ 19 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:01,269 Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION 20 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:12,489 Hi. 21 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,448 Hi. 22 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,491 What are you doing? 23 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:15,075 Tightening a clamp. 24 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,327 This is my new friend Kerry Hathaway. 25 00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:19,079 She just moved to the neighborhood. 26 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,371 This is my brother Greg. 27 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,790 I'm pleased to meet you. 28 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:22,749 Likewise. 29 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,085 Come and meet everybody else. 30 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,424 Hi. 31 00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:48,233 Kerry, I'd like you to meet 32 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,151 my mother and Cindy and Bobby. 33 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,236 Hi. Hi. 34 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,237 Hi, Kerry. 35 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,738 Welcome to the neighborhood. 36 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,948 Thanks, Mrs. Brady. 37 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:57,826 Would you girls like something to eat? 38 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,202 KERRY: I'm not hungry. 39 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,203 JAN: Me either. 40 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,080 We're going to go do homework. 41 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,289 CAROL: Good. 42 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,666 It was nice meeting you. 43 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,626 ( whispers ): Wow! 44 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:07,627 See you later. 45 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:08,586 Okay, honey. 46 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,088 Bye. 47 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,131 Oh, Peter, this is 48 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,715 my new friend Kerry Hathaway. 49 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,384 This is my brother Peter. 50 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:15,802 Hi. 51 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,096 Pleased to meet me. 52 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:22,100 ( quavers ) 53 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,144 ( both start giggling ) 54 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,464 Jan, could I talk to you? 55 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,175 Sure, but make it quick. 56 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,135 I've got a lot of homework. 57 00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:00,013 Marcia, could we have some privacy? 58 00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:01,097 Hey! 59 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,557 Sounds pretty confidential. 60 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:03,683 It is. 61 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,810 Then, I wouldn't dream of leaving. 62 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,353 Come on, Peter, what is it? 63 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:08,354 Marcia, please? 64 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,731 Oh, come on, Pete. 65 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,774 I won't blab. I promise. 66 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:14,277 Well, I guess it's okay. 67 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,779 What it is is... is... 68 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:20,992 well, it's sort of about Kerry Hathaway. 69 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,243 Who's Kerry Hathaway? 70 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,620 She's my new classmate. 71 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:24,996 What about her, Peter? 72 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,998 Well, I was wondering if... 73 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:32,378 you know, if she'd like to go to a movie or something... with me? 74 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,463 How should I know? 75 00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:34,297 Why not ask her? 76 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,924 What if she turns me down? 77 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,508 Why would she turn you down? 78 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:38,760 You're a nice guy. 79 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,095 Yeah, all the girls think you're cute. 80 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,180 They do? 81 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:42,680 MARCIA: Sure. 82 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,891 You've got a great personality. 83 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,059 You're lots of fun to be with. 84 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,143 That's right. 85 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,603 You're kind and considerate. 86 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,647 Yeah, that's true, too. 87 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:51,814 Well, go phone her. 88 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,233 Her number's in the book downstairs. 89 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,317 Okay, I will. 90 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:56,986 This is going to be the most 91 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:57,987 important phone call I ever 92 00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,366 made my whole entire life. 93 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:04,702 (Giggles) 94 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:08,581 ( phone rings ) 95 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,582 Hello. 96 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:10,541 Kerry? 97 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,542 This is Kerry. 98 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,170 Hi, this is Pete. 99 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,171 Pete who? 100 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,297 Peter Brady. 101 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,298 You met me this afternoon. 102 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,175 I'm Jan's brother. 103 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:19,759 Oh, you must be 104 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,178 the cute little one with the freckles. 105 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:25,181 No, that's my brother Bobby. 106 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:25,974 Oh! 107 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,810 Then you're the groovy-looking guy who was fixing the car. 108 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,188 No, that's my brother Greg. 109 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,524 Then which one are you? 110 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:38,194 I'm the one who'd better say good-bye. 111 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,821 Good-bye. 112 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,119 ( knocks lightly ) 113 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,078 Hi, Dad. 114 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,204 Hey! 115 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,123 How come you're so dressed up? 116 00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:52,208 Trying to get thrown out of school? 117 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,002 I'm trying to sort of, you know 118 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,211 impress a certain girl 119 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,629 and I was wondering... 120 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:57,922 Yeah, wondering what? 121 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,134 Dad, can I borrow some after-shave lotion? 122 00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,385 Did you shave? 123 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,553 Do you have to shave 124 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,179 to use after-shave lotion? 125 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:06,055 ( chuckles ) 126 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,473 Come to think of it, no. 127 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,851 I got just the thing for you back here. 128 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,519 She's really something special 129 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,646 so I thought I'd better look special 130 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,106 and smell special, too. 131 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,232 Now, listen, Peter. 132 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,525 If you want to impress her 133 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,193 you use just a little of this. 134 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,611 How come just a little? 135 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,989 Well, like it says in the TV commercial 136 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,032 if you use a lot 137 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,700 you'll have to fight off women 138 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,160 with a whip and a chair. 139 00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,037 Well, since I just met her 140 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:32,040 maybe I should start slow and build. 141 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:33,958 Yeah, that's good thinking. 142 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,418 Hey, that smells good. 143 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,215 Insurance. 144 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,156 Kerry. 145 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,241 Small world. 146 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,326 Hi. 147 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,744 Don't you recognize me? 148 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,037 I'm Jan's brother Pete. 149 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,080 Oh, I'm sorry. 150 00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,748 You must have been the boy 151 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,166 who called last night. 152 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,167 Yeah. 153 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,211 I've met so many new kids in school 154 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:19,754 I can't keep them straight. 155 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:20,838 That's okay. 156 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,717 ( sniffs ) 157 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,928 ( sniffs ) 158 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,137 Oh... oh, yeah. 159 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,347 After-shave lotion. 160 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,681 You like it, huh? 161 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,141 Do you shave? 162 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,643 Oh, yeah, all the time. 163 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,104 My dad and I use the same brand. 164 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,689 Let me carry your books. 165 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,191 That's okay, I can... 166 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,025 ( books thud ) 167 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,153 Gee, I'm sorry. 168 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,406 Let me wipe them off. 169 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:47,865 Don't bother. 170 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,826 I insist. 171 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,038 Here, hold these. 172 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,332 I'll get them real clean. 173 00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,876 ( screams ) 174 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,753 Wow. 175 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,967 Stop it! 176 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,845 Now look what you've done! 177 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,933 Can't I do anything right? 178 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,271 Hi, honey, I'm home! 179 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,605 Hi! 180 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:20,982 ( giggles ) 181 00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:25,278 Gosh, hey, that's some special kiss. 182 00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:27,113 Yeah, I'm glad you liked it. 183 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,281 Yeah, I did... 184 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,323 Uh-oh, you've got 185 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,200 something to tell me, don't you? 186 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,453 Yeah, guess where we're going Friday night. 187 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:34,537 Um, the new play. 188 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:35,621 You got tickets? 189 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:36,956 I've got tickets... 190 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,040 hey, great. 191 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:38,583 But not to the play. 192 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,627 I have tickets to that modern art show. 193 00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:42,712 Oh, honey, come on! 194 00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:43,963 Not another show 195 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,090 where soup cans crushed wins first prize. 196 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,050 Oh, Mike, I had to buy the tickets. 197 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:49,135 It's for charity. 198 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,303 Couldn't we stay home 199 00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,054 and crush our own soup cans? 200 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,973 Oh, Mike, they'll be expecting us. 201 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,224 ( moans ) 202 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,517 Hi, Peter. Hi, Pete. 203 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:57,852 ( dejectedly ): Hi. 204 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,145 Hey, what's the matter? 205 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,022 Didn't the shaving lotion work? 206 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,106 Oh, it smelled okay 207 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,524 but I sure stunk it up. 208 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,193 I can't even talk to her! 209 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:05,735 Now, wait a minute. 210 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:08,029 Don't get uptight about it, listen. 211 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,031 Do you know that when I was your age 212 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,074 I had the same problem with a girl. 213 00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:13,034 You did? 214 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,703 Yes, I did-- Polly Ledbetter. 215 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:16,871 Polly Ledbetter! 216 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,331 That was her name. 217 00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:21,000 When we got close, I got a knot in my tongue 218 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,169 I could have won a merit badge with. 219 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:23,836 What'd you do about it? 220 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:27,423 I just figured if I couldn't say what I wanted to 221 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,008 I could always write it. 222 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,301 So I wrote her a letter. 223 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,803 A letter, huh? 224 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,097 Uh-huh, that way you can take your time 225 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,974 and think about what you'll say. 226 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,226 That's a great idea! 227 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,101 Thanks, Dad. 228 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:40,853 Sure. 229 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:58,996 What are you doing? 230 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,498 Trying to write a letter 231 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,041 or start a paper drive? 232 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,085 It's a tough letter to write, Alice. 233 00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,045 I don't want it to sound corny. 234 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,130 Well, want to try it out on me? 235 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,674 Okay. 236 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,219 "Dear Kerry..." 237 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,178 Yeah? 238 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,304 That's it. 239 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,889 That's where I get stuck. 240 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:17,974 Oh! 241 00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,141 Oh, yeah, well... 242 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:21,269 that first line is always the toughest. 243 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,187 I just don't know what to say. 244 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,648 Why don't you try something poetic like 245 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,692 "how do I love thee? 246 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,027 Let me count the ways." 247 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,989 Great-- give it to me again, slow. 248 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:36,367 "How do I love thee?" 249 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,082 Jan. Hi. 250 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,166 What did she say? 251 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:45,293 Who? 252 00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:46,335 Kerry Hathaway. 253 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,420 About what? 254 00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,546 About me. 255 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,798 Peter, we've got a communication gap. 256 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,049 I wrote Kerry a letter 257 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,926 and I slipped it into her locker. 258 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,137 I want to know what she said about it. 259 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,888 Oh, was it a gooey love letter? 260 00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,140 Yeah, did she mention it? 261 00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:00,224 She mentioned it. 262 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,601 Well, what'd she say? 263 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,769 She said it was beautifully written. 264 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:04,812 Yeah? 265 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,439 Super poetic and fantastic. 266 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:07,982 What else did she say? 267 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:12,028 That the dumb-dumb who wrote it forgot to sign his name. 268 00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,863 Oh, no! 269 00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:16,032 How could I be so stupid? 270 00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:18,242 You must practice a lot. 271 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,706 It's the perfect plan and you're the perfect guy. 272 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,416 No way, Pete. No way. 273 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,168 Where'd you get this weird idea? 274 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:30,129 From this copy of Cyrano de Bergerac. 275 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,255 Marcia put me on to it. 276 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,298 It's great. 277 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,050 It's about this guy with a big nose 278 00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:36,844 and he's in love with this girl named Roxanne. 279 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,012 Peter, I know the story. 280 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,055 He's shy, see. 281 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,723 So he hides in some bushes 282 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,892 and has this other guy say to her... 283 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,185 I said I know the story. 284 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:45,936 All I'm asking you to do is 285 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,897 hide in the bushes like Cyrano did 286 00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,107 and you feed me the right words. 287 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,944 When it comes to smooth talking the girls 288 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,113 everybody says you're the greatest. 289 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,157 Yeah? Everybody says that? 290 00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:58,658 Everybody. 291 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,160 They call you "old silver tongue." 292 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:01,661 They do? 293 00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,913 You're a legend in your own time. 294 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,247 How about that? 295 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,833 I really need help from an expert like you. 296 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:10,044 Well, okay, we'll try it. 297 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,629 If Cyrano could do it 298 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,839 so can "Old Silver Tongue." 299 00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:18,010 ( crickets chirping ) 300 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,930 ( whispers ): That's the one. 301 00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,306 ( whispers ): That's it? 302 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:23,683 Okay. 303 00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,184 Hide back here. 304 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,560 You're sure I look okay? 305 00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:27,978 Peter, you look fine. 306 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,063 My hair? 307 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,272 Does my hair look okay? 308 00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,608 After 20 minutes with Mom's hairdryer 309 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,318 you couldn't look any better. 310 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,153 You're sure you thought up 311 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,030 some real poetic stuff? 312 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,074 My stuff is better than Cyrano's. 313 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,159 Remember your first line? 314 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:42,993 Yeah. 315 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,663 Well, here goes. 316 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,043 ( pebble taps ) 317 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,586 ( Pebble taps ) 318 00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,004 ( Pebble taps ) 319 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,717 ( Quavers ) 320 00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,301 Hello, lovely one. 321 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:03,180 Peter? Is that you? 322 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,599 Yeah, could I talk to you? It's important. 323 00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:06,726 I guess so. 324 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,602 Come around to the front. 325 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,229 No, wait. 326 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,231 I... 327 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,858 I want to see you here 328 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:17,194 where your lovely hair outshines the moonbeams. 329 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,988 I want to see you here 330 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:22,199 where your lovely hair outshines the moonbeams. 331 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,827 Peter, are you feeling okay? 332 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,370 How could I feel otherwise 333 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,540 when I'm so close to your beauty? 334 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:33,627 How could I feel otherwise when I'm so close to your beauty? 335 00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:36,338 I've never seen you act like this before. 336 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,882 I'm not acting. 337 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:38,382 It's true love 338 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,718 from the first time I saw you. 339 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,011 I'm not acting. 340 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:45,139 It's true love from the first time I saw you. 341 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,017 Peter, why are you standing all the way over there? 342 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:50,144 Why am I standing over here? 343 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,313 Distance lends enchantment. 344 00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,774 Distance lends enchantment. 345 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,777 What in the world is going on out there? 346 00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:00,404 Just take what i have to offer: 347 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:04,325 The rainbows, the sunlight, my life, the world! 348 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:08,078 Take my rainbows and sun life. 349 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,122 That's not what I said. 350 00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,124 The sunlight, rain and... 351 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,211 For crying out loud, will ya listen? 352 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,299 She's gone! 353 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:23,093 I blew it again. 354 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,262 Peter, what's going on out here? 355 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,223 Uh... hello, lovely one. 356 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:32,770 Greg, what are you doing here? 357 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,438 Well, he just... 358 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,273 I can explain everything. 359 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,025 Yeah, he can explain. 360 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:42,029 No, you don't have to explain. 361 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,490 I understand everything now. 362 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:48,285 Oh, it's just like Cyrano! 363 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,704 Don't be shy, Greg. 364 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:55,376 You don't have to use Peter to speak for you. 365 00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:59,088 Peter! 366 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:10,683 Honey, I forgot to show you this. 367 00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,059 Oh yeah, what is it? 368 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:12,893 It's the brochure for the art show Friday night. 369 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:14,645 I thought you would like to see some of the 370 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:15,646 paintings that are going to be 371 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,731 exibited. 372 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,109 You sure those are paintings? 373 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,903 Looks more like a tabelcloth after a spaghetti festival. 374 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,990 Boy do I have a rat for a brother. 375 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,074 Wait a minute. What's the matter with you? 376 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,785 Greg just hijacked my girl. 377 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:30,536 What do you mean? 378 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,122 He was supposed to help me impress Kerry. Not himself. 379 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,708 She's flipped over him. 380 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,001 Where's Greg? 381 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,503 With Kerry. She was hanging all over him. 382 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,796 Well, what did you do about it? 383 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,924 I left. What should I do? Take pictures? 384 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,009 Thanks for splitting and leaving 385 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,385 me stuck with your girl. 386 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,304 Oh you really look like you were in pain. 387 00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,389 Thanks for stealing Kerry. 388 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,640 I didn't steal her. 389 00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:53,976 You just borrowed her without permission. 390 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,104 Hold it you two, wait a minute Greg what happened? 391 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,898 Dad the whole thing was a big mistake. 392 00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,232 I tried to straighten it out 393 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,151 but Kerry wouldn't listen to a word I said. 394 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:03,944 I bet you did. 395 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,821 Look pal I can't help it... 396 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:06,780 Forget about it. 397 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:07,865 Good night mom, night dad. 398 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,783 Good night Greg. 399 00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:13,120 Peter wait a minute. 400 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:16,832 You know a guy can't always get a girl to like him. 401 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,043 Maybe you ought to forget about this girl for now. 402 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:22,004 Honey, there are a lot of other fish in the sea. 403 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:22,546 I know. 404 00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:25,341 But I got Moby Dick for a brother. 405 00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,426 Good night mom, good night dad. 406 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:32,431 I would say I need two pounds of rice. 407 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,767 Two pounds of rice. Is that it Alice? 408 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:35,434 Except for some cake mix. 409 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:39,313 I thought I'd make Peter a nice gooey cake to help 410 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,106 glue back together his poor broken heart. 411 00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:44,485 Alice, you're the dear Abby of the kitchen. 412 00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:46,111 Hi mom, hi Alice. 413 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,113 Hi sweetheart. 414 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,281 How was school today? 415 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,991 It was better in the afternoon 416 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,368 then it was in the morning. 417 00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:53,786 Oh why is that? 418 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,871 I get out in the afternoon. 419 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,500 Has anybody seen my blue sweater? 420 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:00,876 Not since I washed it. 421 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,378 Oh I know where it is. 422 00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:03,420 Where? 423 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,047 Jan took it to Kerry Hathaway. 424 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,341 Kerry? What for? 425 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:07,800 For measurments. 426 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,385 Kerry is sending you a new one. 427 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,386 It's supposed to be a surprise. 428 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,137 Not anymore. 429 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:12,680 Say I almost forgot. 430 00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:15,641 Kerry dropped by and left this for you. 431 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,018 Home made fudge. 432 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,187 This is really getting to bug me. 433 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,731 I got to do something about that girl. 434 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:23,482 If you don't like her anymore 435 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,526 can I have the fudge? 436 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,739 Neat, huh? 437 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,825 You're lucky you're young, Bobby. 438 00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:40,040 I think it just needs new brushes. 439 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,625 Stay away from women, kid. 440 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,836 They'll break your heart every time. 441 00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:44,920 What are you talking about? 442 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,048 You're too young to understand. 443 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,300 GREG: Peter... Pete... 444 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:51,635 I got a great idea for you. 445 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,137 If it's joining the Foreign Legion 446 00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,555 I've already thought about it. 447 00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:55,639 How would you like to get Kerry back? 448 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:57,558 Now, listen... 449 00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:00,102 I don't trust you. You stole my girl. 450 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,353 I didn't steal your girl! 451 00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:01,895 You did! 452 00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:03,564 If you guys are starting that again 453 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:04,732 I'm getting out of here. 454 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:05,149 Pete, listen... 455 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:09,069 you got to trust me, please. 456 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,779 Well... okay. 457 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,031 But not around Kerry. 458 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,365 I won't go near her. 459 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,366 Jan will. 460 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:15,534 Jan? 461 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,493 Jan's going to tell Kerry 462 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,203 that nobody trusts me 463 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:21,040 that I'm a no-good, double-crossing, two-timing rat. 464 00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:23,083 You mean she'll tell her the truth. 465 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,084 Yeah! 466 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,211 No... what I mean is 467 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,714 after Kerry's convinced that I'm a rat fink 468 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,716 Jan'll tell her what a great guy you are. 469 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,425 She will? 470 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:35,345 And Kerry will turn off of me and turn on to you. 471 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,931 Hey, yeah, that's a great idea. 472 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,683 You're a pretty nice brother 473 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,769 for a no-good, double-crossing, two-timing rat. 474 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,149 Hi, Jan. 475 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,859 Hi, Greg. 476 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,152 When does Pete take over? 477 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,737 How does never sound? 478 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,739 Never? What went wrong? 479 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:54,698 ( dramatically ): Kerry's going to save you 480 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,283 from your horrible self. 481 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:57,618 She's going to change you. 482 00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,078 Terrific. 483 00:17:59,119 --> 00:17:59,745 Did you tell her everything? 484 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:00,996 Everything. 485 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,581 I don't understand it 486 00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:03,665 unless she didn't believe me. 487 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,211 Hey, wait-- maybe that's the trouble. 488 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,962 Maybe she didn't believe you. 489 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,882 Maybe she has to be shown that I'm a rat fink. 490 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,634 But how you going to show her? 491 00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:16,637 That's a good question. 492 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:18,597 And I think I've got a good answer. 493 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,390 Mom and Dad are going to the art show tonight, right? 494 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:20,974 So? 495 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,601 Could you get Peter out of the house? 496 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,229 I guess so. What are you going to do? 497 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,605 I'll explain later. 498 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,815 Now for the other woman. 499 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,233 What other woman? 500 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,400 Has Kerry ever met Marcia? 501 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,777 No. What other woman? 502 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:35,322 Great. I'll invite Kerry over tonight. 503 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,824 What other woman?! 504 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,163 When you put on this wig and some dark glasses 505 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,790 Kerry will never know who you are. 506 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,583 I'm not sure Kerry ever saw me. 507 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,961 We can't take any chances; it's too important to Peter. 508 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:52,172 Right. Okay. Exit Marcia Brady. 509 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,007 Enter the other woman. 510 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:28,208 ( puts on romantic music ) 511 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,043 ( doorbell rings ) 512 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:38,385 Hi, doll. 513 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,221 Hi. Thanks for inviting me over. 514 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:44,600 Well, I believe in spreading myself around. 515 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:45,809 Super outfit. 516 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,854 Oh, these are my working threads. 517 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,859 Know what I mean? 518 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,528 Where's everybody else? 519 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,155 Out. 520 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,156 We're all alone, kid. 521 00:19:59,198 --> 00:19:59,990 Groovy? 522 00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,826 Sit down. 523 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:09,750 Now, I'd like to get a few things straight. 524 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,126 The way I see it you're crazy about me 525 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,337 and you want to go steady, right? 526 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:13,962 Well... 527 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,131 well, I got a couple rules you got to dig. 528 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,299 Rules? 529 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:20,761 Rule one: you go out only with me. 530 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,721 Oh, I like that. 531 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:26,099 Rule two: I go out with whoever I want. 532 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:28,143 That doesn't sound fair. 533 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,521 What do you want, fair or me? 534 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,607 Well... 535 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,278 Now, let me tell you about rule three. 536 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,280 C-could we go back to rule two? 537 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,365 ( doorbell rings ) 538 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,577 Don't move. I'll be right back. 539 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,132 Debbie, not you again! 540 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:03,637 MARCIA: Greg, I have to talk to you. 541 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:08,809 ( gasps ) 542 00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:11,019 I might have known I'd find another woman here. 543 00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:15,148 Well, you caught me at a bad time. 544 00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:17,234 I usually have three or four. 545 00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:21,738 Greg, you've got to take me back. 546 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,157 Give me one more chance. 547 00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:26,285 I'll do anything you say. 548 00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:28,078 No way. 549 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,705 Debbie, you bore me. 550 00:21:29,746 --> 00:21:31,790 I'll change. I promise. 551 00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:35,711 Greg, maybe I should go. 552 00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,129 Nah. 553 00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:40,299 Stick around, kid. Watch me throw her out. 554 00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:41,383 Come on, loser. 555 00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:44,720 Greg, if you drop me, I don't know what I'll do. 556 00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:46,805 I said out! 557 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,141 MIKE: If that's art, I'm Michelangelo. 558 00:21:49,182 --> 00:21:51,226 CAROL: Oh, honey, stop complaining. 559 00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:56,106 What is it, Alice? 560 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,275 I think they're rehearsing 561 00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,359 a teenage soap opera. 562 00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:01,737 Greg! 563 00:22:01,778 --> 00:22:04,323 How can you treat her like this? 564 00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:06,325 Out with the old and in with the new. 565 00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:08,452 But this girl loves you! 566 00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:09,453 MARCIA: Oh, yes... 567 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:12,205 I do, I do, I do. 568 00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:15,000 If you don't like it, you can leave. 569 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:18,086 Greg Brady, you're even worse than Jan said. 570 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,549 I never want to see you again. 571 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:24,426 You were right, it is a soap opera. 572 00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:27,220 Come on, Debbie. 573 00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:28,138 What's going on? 574 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,431 Uh... Peter... 575 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:32,434 Peter, you're supposed to be at the library. 576 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,894 I was. 577 00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:36,229 Marcia, what are you doing in that wig? 578 00:22:36,271 --> 00:22:37,230 I'm not Marcia! I'm... 579 00:22:37,272 --> 00:22:38,273 She's Debbie. 580 00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,067 She's Debbie... I'm Debbie. 581 00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:42,069 Something funny's going on. 582 00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,112 You mean something phony. 583 00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,572 That's my sister 584 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,824 in a wig. 585 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,826 Your sister?! 586 00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:54,873 What's this all about? 587 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,083 ( sighs ) 588 00:22:56,124 --> 00:22:58,043 We were trying to convince Kerry 589 00:22:58,085 --> 00:22:59,127 that I was a rat fink. 590 00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:01,171 That's really dirty 591 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,090 playing a trick like this on her 592 00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:04,716 when she cares about you. 593 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:05,342 We're sorry, Kerry. 594 00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:08,512 If a girl as wonderful as Kerry was my girl 595 00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:10,389 you know how I'd treat her? 596 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,558 I'd... 597 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,685 You'd what, Peter? 598 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,231 I'd treat her like a queen. 599 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:24,778 Peter, could I ask a favor? 600 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:27,239 ( nervously ): Mmm... anything. 601 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,990 Would you walk me home? 602 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:34,955 Wow! Would I. 603 00:23:42,129 --> 00:23:44,631 For a minute there, I thought we blew it. 604 00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:47,634 GREG: Mom, Dad. 605 00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:51,096 I guess we should explain. 606 00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:53,056 Well, I think we understand. 607 00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:54,057 Good night, kids. 608 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:55,517 Good night. 609 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:56,768 Good night, Greg. 610 00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,270 Good night, Debbie. 611 00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:15,912 I really didn't have any dessert last night 612 00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,747 so I think I'd better have two. 613 00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,166 Two donuts? 614 00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:21,460 They give you lots of energy, Mom. 615 00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:23,962 They give you lots of energy, Mom. 616 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:27,132 And with lots of energy, you do more homework. 617 00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:29,843 With lots of energy, you can do more homework. 618 00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:32,971 When you do more homework, you can get better grades. 619 00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:37,184 And when you do more homework, you can get better grades. 620 00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:40,479 Well, that's a pretty convincing argument. 621 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,898 Okay, here are two donuts. 622 00:24:42,939 --> 00:24:44,816 One for you 623 00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:46,735 and one for your Cyrano. 624 00:24:49,112 --> 00:24:50,822 Well, we figured 625 00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:53,116 maybe if it worked for girls 626 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:55,035 it'd work for donuts, too. 627 00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:56,203 Want a bite? 628 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:14,012 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.Org 38272

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