Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

( alarm buzzing )

( buzzing stops )

Okay, you guys, up and at 'em.

Come on, it's the first day of school.

Yeah, we'll be locked up for the rest of the year.

Ah, look at the bright side.

It's only 111 more days till Christmas vacation.

I'll be finished in a minute, Cindy.

Don't rush.

Well, you don't want to be late

for the first day of school, do you?

Speak for yourself.

Hi, Mom. Bye, Alice!

Bye, kids, bye!

Well, Alice, the old production line

hasn't lost its zip.

Yeah, well, one more to go

and then we're zipped up.

Ooh! I think I better go see

what's keeping Marcia.

I just don't feel too well, Mom.

Well, you don't seem to have a fever.

Does it hurt any place?

Kind of all over.

And I've got a funny feeling in my stomach.

What a shame!

Your first day in high school, too.

I think I'd better call the doctor.

I'll be all right.

I'll feel better tomorrow, I'm sure.

I'm not taking any chances, Marcia.

Please, Mom, I don't need a doctor.

Marcia, I know how much you're looking forward

to high school

but if you're sick, you need a doctor.

Now just relax. I'll be back in a minute.

Now how will I convince the doctor that I'm sick?

The doctor should be down any minute, Alice.

Oh, I'm sure it's nothing at all.

I wonder if Marcia could have eaten

something that didn't agree with her.

No offense, Alice.

No offense.

Besides, she ate

exactly the same as we all did last night

except she skipped dessert.

If anybody should have an upset stomach

it should be Bobby.

He not only ate his dessert

but he ate hers as well.

Come to think of it, he also ate mine.

Mrs. Brady?

Yes, Doctor?

How is she?

There's not a thing wrong with Marcia--

physically, that is.

Well, what about her upset stomach?

I'd say it was nerves.

She seems worried and upset about something.

Anything unusual happen lately?

No, not that I can think of.

Doctor, could the first day in a new school

cause this kind of reaction?

Oh, indeed it could.

This time of year, there's an epidemic of "new schoolitis."

Then that must be what it is.

There's no doubt: there's your problem.

Well, at least that gets my pot roast off the hook.

I'm sure you know the prescription

for new schoolitis, Mrs. Brady.

Yes, I think I do, doctor.

First thing in the morning

have Marcia take a good vigorous walk

straight to her first class.

Tomorrow?

I don't think I can.

It's not just my stomach.

My throat feels kind of scratchy.

The doctor says there is no reason

you can't go to school tomorrow.

Honey, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Afraid?! Who's afraid?

I am.

Why?

What is it, honey?

It's this.

What-- your awards from junior high?

"Marcia Brady: debating team."

"Editor of the Fillmore Flyer."

"Senior class president."

Well, honey, that just proves that you were a very popular girl.

"Were" is right.

All my best years are behind me.

Oh, come on, Marcia.

You're going to go to high school

not a home for the aged.

Besides, all my friends are going to Tower High

and I have to go to Westdale

just because of the dumb street we live on.

That's it. That's what I thought.

Oh, honey, you'll make friends

in high school in no time.

I'll be a nobody.

Marcia Brady: Miss Anonymous.

Marcia, there's an old saying:

You can't take a step forward

with both feet still on the ground.

And it'll be a lot easier

to take that first step than you think.

I'll try, but I'll bet my foot lands right in my mouth.

Hey!

Hi!

Hey, come over here.

Guess what I'm doing.

You're Dr. Frankenstein

and you're building a monster.

No, I joined the science club at school

and I'm building a volcano.

And when I'm finished, I can make it erupt.

And when it erupts

smoke's going to come out.

Real molten lava's going to ooze all over the place.

Good luck.

A word of advice

Any of that gets on the patio Alice will kill you.

-Hi -Hi

Guess what I'm doing?

Building a chicken coop?

No I'm building a volcano and when it's finished I can make it errupt.

Smokes gonna come out and lave is gonna ooze all over the place

You get any of that on the patio and Alice will kill you.

Hey what are you doing?

You wouldn't be interested.

How do you know?

Becase nobody else around here is.

Well maybe we are. Ya!

Well I joined the science club at school and I'm building a volcano

and when I'm finished I can make it errupt

And when it errupts smoke will come out and lava is gonna ooze all over the place.

Boy that sound real neat.

It does? Ya can we help you?

Sure but I got to warn you if you get any on the patio Alice will kill you

GREG: Dad?

Yeah?

Mom said you wanted to talk to me?

Listen, I want to talk to you about Marcia.

She's not real sick, is she?

No, no, she's not sick at all.

She's just so uptight about high school

she's come down with some imaginary symptoms.

What's she uptight about?

She was a big wheel in junior high.

Well, you see, that's the problem.

I think she's afraid

she'll develop a flat tire.

That's so funny.

But she shouldn't have any problem.

I mean, she's a cool chick.

Well, I agree, but she is worried.

Hmm.

You know something, Dad?

Now that I think about it

I was a little uptight when I started there, too.

All my friends went to a different school.

It's the same with her

so you know how she feels.

Exactly.

I had butterflies in my stomach

I thought were woodpeckers.

Greg, I think you could help her.

Introduce her around a little bit.

Sort of break the ice for her.

Because once she gets started

she'll be all right.

Okay, Dad.

Good man.

In fact, football practice starts tomorrow.

That'd be a good chance

to introduce her to some of the guys.

Hey, now that's a good idea.

Marcia can you hurry it up? I'd like to meet some guys before 1st period.

Do you mind if I finish my breakfast?

Not if it doesn't turn into your lunch.

Marcia you better drink up it's getting late.

Ya cmon let's make tracks

Wait a minute I forgot something I'll be down in a minute.

Mom! Okay. She's just stalling.

Be patient with her. She'll make it.

But if you want me to introduce her around I'd better do it before I graduate next year.

Oh it's not that bad!

No, that's definitely junior high.

( sighs )

That's not sophisticated either.

You look like an immature child.

GREG: Marcia, how about it?

Just a minute!

Well, if you can't look sophisticated

maybe you can act sophisticated.

GREG ( yells): Marcia!

( angrily ): I'm coming!

( calmly ): I'm coming, Gregory.

Well, how do you like Westdale High?

It's not much bigger than a junior high.

( school bell rings )

Is that the bell for the first period?

Relax, it's just a warning bell.

YOUNG MAN: Hi, Greg.

Hi. Oh, hey, guys

could you come here for a minute?

I'd like you to meet my sister, Marcia.

This is Tom Peterson and Dick Corsup.

Hi. Hi.

I'm delighted to meet you, boys.

Um, Marcia's just starting here this term.

Uh... it's so beneficial for me

to be away from those children in junior high

and to be with people of my own, uh... mature growth.

Yeah... well, we hope you like it

here at Westdale.

I'm positive that'll be the case.

I'm looking forward to the... intellectual stimulation.

Well, see you, boys.

Bye.

What's with your sister?

I'm not sure that was my sister.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Pete.

Hey, how's your volcano coming?

Great. Right now

it's in what us scientists call the "caldera stage."

Caldera stage, huh?

Looks more like it's in the chicken wire period to me.

Hi, honey, how'd school go?

Gee, what's with her?

I don't know.

When I'm finished

I'm going to make it erupt.

Later, Peter, I think we got

another eruption on our hands.

And little puffs of smoke are going to come out

and lava's going to ooze all over the place.

MIKE: Marcia?

I want to talk to you.

Honey, what happened in school today?

Nothing, Dad, zero.

It started out terrible and got worse.

( door opening )

Greg?

( door slams )

MIKE: Greg?

What?

What happened to Marcia in school today?

She acted like a jerk.

She made a jerk out of me.

"It's so beneficial for me

to be away from those children in junior high."

I don't understand.

"I'm looking forward to the intellectual stimulation."

Oh! I wish you hadn't asked me

to introduce her around.

MARCIA: So that's why you did it.

Even my own father knew I wouldn't be popular.

I hate high school!

I hate it! I hate it!

( knocking )

MIKE: Marcia?

CAROL: Can we come in for a minute?

Door's open.

Honey, I'm sorry.

I was only trying to help

when I asked Greg to introduce you

to kids at school.

You yourself said you didn't know anybody.

It never entered our minds

that you wouldn't find friends or be popular.

I guess I'm uptight about it.

I'm sorry.

It just looked like everybody thought I'd be a washout.

No way... not if you'll just be yourself.

I was trying to act mature and sophisticated.

Oh, boy!

You know what I actually said to Greg's friends?

"I'm looking forward to the intellectual stimulation."

When I think about it, I get sick.

Well, honey, try not to think about it.

Marcia, you'll have lots of friends at school

before you know it.

Especially if you get involved

in school activities.

Yeah, join a club--

something that you're really interested in.

It's a good idea.

So you really said I'm looking forward to.......

More mud. Mud coming up

Boy science is great!

How you gonna get your volcano to work?

I got it all figured out. How?

I got it all figured out. How?

I told you I got it all figured out!

I see you don't have it all figured out

Sure he's got it all figured out.

How do you know? He told me!

You just waut and see lava is gonna come out and ooze out the sides

It's gonna be sensational

Let me know when you get it all figured out

More mud! Mud coming up

Are you covering the volcano with mud or is the volcano cover you?

We've been working hard Alice

It's about 2 hours till dinner and if you start cleaing up now you might make it by dessert. Inside

If they get any more dirt on the patio I'm going to kill them.

Greg?

Yeah?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

What about?

( sighs )

I just want to say I'm sorry

if I made you feel embarrassed.

I know you were only trying to help.

It's okay.

But from now on, be yourself, okay?

I really acted like a jerk in front of your friends.

Yeah, you did, but don't worry about it.

Sometimes they act kind of jerky, too.

I guess I'll feel more at home

after I get to know some kids.

Sure.

And you know what?

I'll get involved in some extracurricular activities,

Maybe join a club.

Just look at that bulletin board.

First week of school, all the clubs have their notices up.

Ceramics-- that club sounds like fun.

Well, hardly anyone joins that one.

Scuba's one of the most popular clubs.

Karate's very popular, too.

Well, see you.

Bye.

Hi.

Hi.

Listen, when are you kids

going to start...?

( screams )

( Marcia laughs )

It's me, Alice.

( laughs )

For a minute there

I thought it was the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

They loaned me the outfit from the scuba club.

I'm just seeing if it fits.

My sister, the frog lady.

It's hard to walk in these.

You're not supposed to walk in them.

You're supposed to swim in them.

That's going to be hard to do in the bedroom.

What did you join the scuba club for?

I hate the idea of going underwater

but scuba's one of the most popular clubs in school.

Maybe so. They wouldn't get me into one of those suits

even if they promised me

mouth-to-mouth resuscitation with Cary Grant.

( sighs )

Sorry.

Don't tell me.

It's the William Tell Club, right?

How'd you guess?

I just took a shot in the dark.

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha! Watch it.

Ooh, you must be very noisy

with that whole club ha-ing at the same time.

I feel pretty silly doing it, too.

Well, as long as you enjoy it.

I'm not sure I do

but it's a very popular club.

Ha!

( laughing )

Well, get a load of you.

What's so funny?

I guess you just don't make

the karate scene.

Ha! Ha! Ho!

Thanks a lot, Greg.

Ha!

It really works!

( laughing )

( forced laughter )

( giggling )

There's a great special on TV tonight.

Yeah, I read about it.

I wonder what channel...

Honey, what in the world are you doing?

I'm practicing for the yoga club.

Don't overdo it.

Hey, can I have a meeting here tomorrow?

Then we can see

the whole club standing on its head.

It's not a meeting of the yoga club.

It's just the judging committee

of the Westdale Boosters.

Another club, Marcia?

The Boosters are the most popular club

and only take three freshmen a year.

I'll know tomorrow if they'll accept me.

Honey, aren't you spreading yourself a little thin?

Yeah-- scuba, archery, ceramics, yoga, karate

and now the Westdale Busters?

Boosters.

Uh, Boosters.

You left out stamp collecting and drama.

Uh...

you look a little shorter.

I'm only doing what you said--

getting involved at school.

Yeah, we did say that.

Thanks about the club meeting tomorrow.

Well, the only thing left

is the boys' swimming team.

Don't give her any ideas.

Okay, stand back.

I've got to see what I'm doing.

Okay, now, when I connect these two little wires...

little puffs of smoke will come out...

and lava will ooze out...

all over the sides of the volcano.

You told us a hundred times.

Now do it with the volcano

and not your mouth.

Okay... now, you're ready?

Yes, we're ready.

Okay... one, two...

you're sure you're ready?

Ready.

Come on, let's go.

Okay.

Three.

Great volcano, Peter.

Wonderful.

Really good.

See you later.

Maybe there's something wrong with the battery.

Wait till I get a new battery. It will work like crazy.

Oh, I thought it would be nice

to have the meeting out here on the patio.

What's that?

Oh... my brother's volcano.

Couldn't we get rid of it

for the meeting?

It looks so... dirty.

He's kind of still working on it

and I'd hate to have him move it.

Well, I guess it's all right.

Gather around, Boosters.

Yeah, everybody take a seat.

Marcia, we discussed your application, voted on it

and I'm happy to say, decided to accept you

as a member of the Boosters.

Oh! Wow.

I don't know what to say, except that I'm honored.

You should be.

We're a very special group

and we only associate with certain kinds of kids.

Certain kinds of kids?

You know-- kids who are our equals.

You can only date boys who are lettermen on teams

or in the top ten of their class.

And then when you...

( whistling )

Peter, we're having a meeting.

That's okay.

I just want to see

if this new battery works.

As I was saying

we have a certain image to present

so you'll check with us on what you wear.

What I wear?

Come over here and watch this.

Okay, here she goes.

( crackles )

( crackles )

It works... it works!

Now watch the lava ooze out.

Do we have to be interrupted

by that childish toy?

( girls screaming )

Peter, turn it off!

Boy, did it ever work!

( laughing )

You stupid kid!

You want to see something stupid?

You should see your face.

( laughing )

What in the world happened?

My volcano worked.

Yeah, like Mount Vesuvius.

I guess I need a smaller battery.

I'll get some towels, Mrs. Brady.

( chuckles )

If you think this is so funny

I'm not too sure you're the type for the Boosters.

I'm sure I'm not the type

because I do think this is funny.

Come on, Boosters. Let's go.

Oh, girls, we're getting you some towels.

No, thank you, Mrs. Brady.

You and Dad were right about my overdoing it.

I was doing anything and everything

just to be popular.

You were trying for instant popularity.

Like we said, just be yourself, and you'll be popular...

dirty, but popular.

I'm giving up all my clubs

except for the one that I really like.

Ceramics?

Hmm, they use clay, don't they, in ceramics?

( crackles )

( hissing )

He was right.

It really works.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org