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♪ Here's the story ♪
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00:00:04,474 --> 00:00:06,379
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
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♪ Who was bringing up ♪
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♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
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♪ All of them had
hair of gold ♪
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♪ Like their mother ♪
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♪ The youngest one
in curls ♪
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♪ It's the story
of a man named Brady ♪
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♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
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♪ They were four men
living all together ♪
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♪ Yet they
were all alone ♪
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♪ Till the one day
when the lady met this fellow ♪
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00:00:36,351 --> 00:00:39,827
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
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♪ That this group
must somehow form a family ♪
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♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch. ♪
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Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
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I made out the shopping
list, Mrs. Brady
21
00:01:07,426 --> 00:01:09,633
finished the washing,
and I don't think...
22
00:01:09,666 --> 00:01:11,637
Alice, will you please
stop worrying, we'll be fine.
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00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:13,208
Now just have
a nice vacation.
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00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:15,246
I will,
I really will.
25
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,917
You know, it just broke my heart
26
00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:19,623
saying good-bye to the children
this morning.
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00:01:19,657 --> 00:01:21,795
It's just going
to seem like a year
28
00:01:21,828 --> 00:01:23,199
before I see them again.
29
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Alice, you're only going
to be gone a week.
30
00:01:25,304 --> 00:01:27,442
So I'm 358 days off.
31
00:01:27,475 --> 00:01:30,182
Well, they're going
to miss you, too.
32
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:31,786
Well, I wouldn't go
if I didn't know
33
00:01:31,819 --> 00:01:33,791
you'll have a first-rate
pinch hitter for me.
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00:01:33,824 --> 00:01:35,194
You're gonna love
my Cousin Emma.
35
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,664
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure we will.
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00:01:36,698 --> 00:01:39,404
Like I said, she's
efficient, well-organized...
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a born manager.
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00:02:06,404 --> 00:02:08,609
Oh, there
she is now.
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00:02:08,642 --> 00:02:10,580
Hi, Emma.
40
00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:16,294
Hi there, Alice.
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00:02:16,328 --> 00:02:17,865
My, it's good
to see you.
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00:02:17,899 --> 00:02:19,336
You, too.
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00:02:19,369 --> 00:02:21,441
Emma, meet Mr. And Mrs. Brady.
44
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,576
Hello, Emma.
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00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:24,381
Hi, it's nice
to have you with us.
46
00:02:25,517 --> 00:02:26,954
We hope you'll
be comfortable.
47
00:02:26,987 --> 00:02:28,391
Thank you. I just hope
48
00:02:28,424 --> 00:02:30,396
that I'm able to make
you people comfortable.
49
00:02:30,429 --> 00:02:31,999
There are six more
Bradys to meet
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00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:33,470
when they get home from school.
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00:02:33,503 --> 00:02:36,510
Good-- the more there are,
the better I like it.
52
00:02:36,544 --> 00:02:38,448
( car horn beeps )
53
00:02:38,482 --> 00:02:41,355
Oh, that'll be Sam to
drive me to the airport.
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00:02:41,389 --> 00:02:42,258
Well, adios, aloha
55
00:02:42,291 --> 00:02:44,430
arrivederci
and auf wiedersehen.
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00:02:44,463 --> 00:02:46,835
Alice, now, what kind
of a good-bye is that?
57
00:02:46,869 --> 00:02:48,874
When you get on
an airplane nowadays,
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00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:51,480
you never know where
you're going to end up.
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00:02:51,514 --> 00:02:52,449
Bye.
60
00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:53,519
You take
good care
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00:02:53,552 --> 00:02:54,554
of the Bradys,
Cousin Emma.
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00:02:54,587 --> 00:02:56,426
( horn beeps )
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00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:58,497
I'm coming!
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00:02:58,531 --> 00:03:00,536
I think I can handle
the job, folks.
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00:03:00,569 --> 00:03:02,841
I wasn't 20 years in
the WACs for nothing.
66
00:03:02,874 --> 00:03:04,612
Mustered out
as master sergeant.
67
00:03:04,646 --> 00:03:05,614
Master sergeant?
68
00:03:05,648 --> 00:03:06,617
Yes, Ma'am.
69
00:03:06,651 --> 00:03:09,424
Helped run the mess hall
for an entire company.
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00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:11,696
That must have been
a very difficult job.
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00:03:11,729 --> 00:03:13,701
Not if you're organized.
72
00:03:16,408 --> 00:03:18,379
( both shouting )
73
00:03:18,413 --> 00:03:19,649
Halt!
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00:03:19,683 --> 00:03:21,553
About face.
75
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:25,797
Forward march,
and close the door.
76
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:29,372
Come on,
hut-two, hut-two
77
00:03:29,406 --> 00:03:30,910
hut, hut, hut...
78
00:03:30,943 --> 00:03:32,480
move along.
79
00:03:32,514 --> 00:03:34,819
Hut, hut-two,
hut-two, hut-two.
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00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:39,531
It's just
a question of control.
81
00:03:40,867 --> 00:03:42,906
Hut-two?
82
00:03:56,004 --> 00:03:57,775
( whistle blows loudly )
83
00:03:58,376 --> 00:04:00,014
( whistle blowing )
84
00:04:00,048 --> 00:04:02,553
( whistle blowing )
85
00:04:02,587 --> 00:04:04,993
( whistle blowing )
86
00:04:05,026 --> 00:04:06,463
What's happening?
87
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,900
I don't know.
88
00:04:07,933 --> 00:04:09,437
( whistle blows )
89
00:04:09,470 --> 00:04:11,342
There it is again.
90
00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:13,915
Up and at 'em, men.
91
00:04:13,948 --> 00:04:15,552
Up and at who?
92
00:04:15,585 --> 00:04:16,822
Move it. Out of the sack.
93
00:04:16,855 --> 00:04:18,459
Hut-two, hut-two.
94
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,831
But it's barely light outside.
95
00:04:20,865 --> 00:04:24,440
Right, rise with the sun, get
your day's work done.
96
00:04:24,474 --> 00:04:26,712
But we don't work, we go to
school.
97
00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:29,819
Makes no difference, good habits
start early in life.
98
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,459
Do they have to start so early
in the morning.
99
00:04:32,493 --> 00:04:38,708
Quit the chatter men. Suit up
and fall out in the yard in 15
minutes.
100
00:04:38,741 --> 00:04:40,211
The yard?
101
00:04:40,245 --> 00:04:42,050
What are we going to do in the
yard?
102
00:04:48,966 --> 00:04:52,508
Rise and shine girls,
breakfast at 0800 hours.
103
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,079
But it's only 6 in the morning.
104
00:04:54,112 --> 00:04:57,020
What are we suppose to do til
0800 hours?
105
00:04:57,053 --> 00:04:58,490
Calisthenics.
106
00:04:58,523 --> 00:04:59,525
Cindy: Calisthenics??? Oh no!
107
00:05:00,929 --> 00:05:04,037
And when I say Calisthenics,
108
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:07,979
I mean Calisthenics.
109
00:05:08,012 --> 00:05:10,017
Hut-two, hut two.
110
00:05:10,051 --> 00:05:11,989
Hut-two, hut-two!
111
00:05:12,022 --> 00:05:14,094
Jump tall! Jump tall!
112
00:05:14,128 --> 00:05:16,501
Hut-two and that's all.
113
00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:18,672
If that's all, I think
I'll be going back to bed.
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00:05:18,706 --> 00:05:19,875
As you were.
115
00:05:19,908 --> 00:05:22,749
Never break formation until
you've been given the order.
116
00:05:22,783 --> 00:05:24,219
Back, back,
snap to it!
117
00:05:24,253 --> 00:05:25,589
Hut, hut, hut!
118
00:05:25,623 --> 00:05:26,993
We're just
getting warmed up.
119
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,632
How come we had
to come out here
120
00:05:29,666 --> 00:05:30,735
to get warmed up?
121
00:05:30,768 --> 00:05:31,570
Yeah.
122
00:05:31,603 --> 00:05:34,611
I was warmer in bed.
123
00:05:34,645 --> 00:05:36,148
Boy, she really
has the kids hustling.
124
00:05:36,182 --> 00:05:38,788
Do you think it might be
too much for them, Mike?
125
00:05:38,822 --> 00:05:41,795
Oh, a little exercise
can't hurt them.
126
00:05:41,829 --> 00:05:44,902
Alright, what we are going to do
now are deep knee bends.
127
00:05:44,936 --> 00:05:49,547
And I mean deep. Got it?
128
00:05:49,581 --> 00:05:55,194
Ready, set, exercise. Hut-two,
hut-two
129
00:05:55,228 --> 00:06:02,746
heads up, chest out, back-
striaght, lookin' great.
130
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,083
This is for the birds.
131
00:06:04,116 --> 00:06:05,720
Yeah, the birds.
132
00:06:05,753 --> 00:06:12,136
You're kidding. No bird in
his right mind would do
knee bends at 6 in the
morning.
133
00:06:12,169 --> 00:06:13,305
Can she do this to us?
134
00:06:13,338 --> 00:06:16,145
She's doing it isn't she?
135
00:06:16,178 --> 00:06:19,287
My knees have bend okay since
before we started.
136
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,759
Hut-two,
hut-two...
137
00:06:21,792 --> 00:06:23,898
Hut-two,
hut-two...
138
00:06:23,932 --> 00:06:25,067
hut-two, and that's all.
139
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,905
Fall out.
140
00:06:26,939 --> 00:06:27,907
( all sigh with relief )
141
00:06:27,941 --> 00:06:28,843
Can we eat now?
142
00:06:28,877 --> 00:06:30,046
I'm starved.
143
00:06:30,079 --> 00:06:31,249
( all agreeing )
144
00:06:32,652 --> 00:06:33,822
Simmer down.
145
00:06:33,855 --> 00:06:36,829
There'll be no chow until
after inspection of quarters.
146
00:06:44,013 --> 00:06:45,350
Get a little more elbow grease
on the shoes.
147
00:06:45,383 --> 00:06:46,954
Yes sir!
148
00:06:46,988 --> 00:06:48,257
Mam..
149
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:54,038
That's not way to stoll socks.
150
00:06:54,071 --> 00:06:58,415
You roll them like this.
151
00:06:58,448 --> 00:07:01,923
That's a regulation sock roll.
152
00:07:01,957 --> 00:07:09,175
That looks like a mushy bed
soldier.
153
00:07:09,208 --> 00:07:10,377
Tighten that blanket. That
quarter is suppose to
154
00:07:10,411 --> 00:07:11,714
jump like a spring.
155
00:07:11,747 --> 00:07:12,315
Yes mam.
156
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:15,189
Bobby: Why?
157
00:07:15,222 --> 00:07:18,397
Why? Regulations. That's why.
158
00:07:18,431 --> 00:07:20,269
Well, it's not too bad..
159
00:07:20,302 --> 00:07:22,039
For a first inspection.
160
00:07:22,073 --> 00:07:25,181
At Ease...
161
00:07:25,214 --> 00:07:28,054
This is like being in the Army.
162
00:07:28,088 --> 00:07:31,028
I wonder what the punishment is
for going over the hill.
163
00:07:31,061 --> 00:07:36,909
Hahahaha, That's great.
164
00:07:36,943 --> 00:07:38,913
Well, girls,
do you think
165
00:07:38,947 --> 00:07:42,088
this room can stand
the glove test?
166
00:07:42,122 --> 00:07:43,960
What's the glove test?
167
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:49,372
That is the glove test.
168
00:07:49,405 --> 00:07:50,943
Get rid of that dust.
169
00:07:51,979 --> 00:07:54,050
Why don't we
keep the dust
170
00:07:54,084 --> 00:07:55,254
and get rid of her?
171
00:07:55,287 --> 00:07:57,057
Uncle Sam had her.
172
00:07:57,092 --> 00:07:59,096
Why didn't he keep her?
173
00:08:07,884 --> 00:08:08,954
Hi, honey.
174
00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:10,691
Hi.
175
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,097
Uh-oh.
Something's wrong.
176
00:08:13,131 --> 00:08:14,333
What makes
you say that?
177
00:08:14,366 --> 00:08:15,971
Because you have
178
00:08:16,004 --> 00:08:18,276
that "something's wrong"
look in your eye.
179
00:08:19,078 --> 00:08:20,215
Well, it's Emma.
180
00:08:20,248 --> 00:08:22,386
Uh-oh, what's the
matter with Emma?
181
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:24,391
Well, I know she
means well, honey,
182
00:08:24,425 --> 00:08:26,998
but she's awfully hard
on the kids.
183
00:08:27,031 --> 00:08:28,435
Oh, you mean
the exercises?
184
00:08:28,468 --> 00:08:30,773
Well, it's not
just the exercises.
185
00:08:30,807 --> 00:08:32,077
It's the room inspections
186
00:08:32,110 --> 00:08:34,015
and that awful
"hut-two, hut-two"
187
00:08:34,048 --> 00:08:35,150
all over the place.
188
00:08:35,184 --> 00:08:37,155
She's just one
of those persons
189
00:08:37,189 --> 00:08:39,327
that has to have
everything organized.
190
00:08:39,361 --> 00:08:41,065
Boy, you're not kidding.
191
00:08:41,099 --> 00:08:44,139
She's organized me right
out of my own kitchen.
192
00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,211
Oh, by the way,
this is for you.
193
00:08:46,244 --> 00:08:48,182
She wants you
to initial it.
194
00:08:48,216 --> 00:08:49,886
Yeah? What's this?
195
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,357
Well, it's
a duty roster.
196
00:08:51,391 --> 00:08:52,559
A duty roster?
197
00:08:52,593 --> 00:08:54,966
Yeah. She's given
the kids assignments.
198
00:08:54,999 --> 00:08:57,873
There's K.P., laundry detail,
trash detail, bathroom detail.
199
00:08:57,906 --> 00:09:00,479
I'm surprised she
didn't say "latrine."
200
00:09:00,513 --> 00:09:02,050
She did.
201
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,353
I had to translate
for the kids.
202
00:09:03,386 --> 00:09:04,990
Well, honey, there's
nothing wrong
203
00:09:05,023 --> 00:09:07,195
with the kids having
duties assigned to them.
204
00:09:07,228 --> 00:09:08,900
You mean you approve
of all this?
205
00:09:08,933 --> 00:09:11,773
Well, a little
discipline can't hurt.
206
00:09:11,807 --> 00:09:14,380
Okay. I wonder if you'll
feel the same way
207
00:09:14,413 --> 00:09:17,253
at dinner tonight.
208
00:09:17,287 --> 00:09:20,060
What's going to happen
at dinner tonight?
209
00:09:20,094 --> 00:09:21,898
You'll see.
210
00:09:21,932 --> 00:09:22,967
Troops! In here, troops.
211
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,239
Come on, in here.
Grab a plate and get in line.
212
00:09:25,272 --> 00:09:26,342
Form a line
right around here.
213
00:09:26,376 --> 00:09:27,812
No pushing.
214
00:09:27,846 --> 00:09:29,483
Organization is
the order of the day.
215
00:09:29,516 --> 00:09:30,586
What are we eating?
216
00:09:30,619 --> 00:09:32,591
Potatoes MacArthur,
beef Eisenhower
217
00:09:32,624 --> 00:09:33,593
and succotash Pentagon.
218
00:09:33,626 --> 00:09:35,297
After you've finished eating,
219
00:09:35,331 --> 00:09:37,135
I want you to
rinse off your plates
220
00:09:37,168 --> 00:09:38,471
and pile them in the sink.
221
00:09:38,505 --> 00:09:40,209
Who's got K.P.
On the duty roster?
222
00:09:40,243 --> 00:09:41,479
I guess I do.
223
00:09:41,513 --> 00:09:42,849
Well, then you eat first.
224
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:43,951
Hut-two, hut-two.
225
00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:45,856
What did she say
we were having?
226
00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:46,792
Succotash
Pentagon?
227
00:09:46,825 --> 00:09:50,435
Hut-two, hut-four,
I don't like this anymore.
228
00:09:50,468 --> 00:09:52,907
I've got the
terrible feeling
229
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,611
we've all
been drafted.
230
00:09:56,615 --> 00:09:59,457
Dad, Mom, can we talk
to you for a minute?
231
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:01,227
Sure. What's the trouble?
232
00:10:01,260 --> 00:10:02,897
What isn't
the trouble?
233
00:10:02,932 --> 00:10:04,000
Do we have to go in
234
00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:05,939
for all that
gung-ho jazz?
235
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,375
Especially
the exercises.
236
00:10:07,409 --> 00:10:10,584
Well, son, nothing wrong
with building up your body.
237
00:10:10,617 --> 00:10:12,221
CAROL:
And what
better way
238
00:10:12,254 --> 00:10:14,059
than exercising every day?
239
00:10:14,092 --> 00:10:17,233
I'm glad to hear you feel
that way, Mr. and Mrs. Brady.
240
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,706
People don't always like
what's good for them.
241
00:10:19,739 --> 00:10:22,011
Yeah, that's what
I was pointing out.
242
00:10:22,044 --> 00:10:23,414
Kids need exercise.
243
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,186
Adults, too, Mr. Brady,
244
00:10:25,219 --> 00:10:27,156
if you know what I mean.
245
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:29,963
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
246
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:33,238
I think I know
what you mean.
247
00:10:33,272 --> 00:10:38,017
You too Mrs. Brady and you got a
nice little figure that you
wouldn't want to go to pot.
248
00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:41,458
No uh... I guess I wouldn't.
249
00:10:41,492 --> 00:10:46,002
Good! Then I expect you two to
join us tomorrow morning. Roger?
250
00:10:46,037 --> 00:10:48,342
Like your said, there is nothing
wrong with building up your
bodies.
251
00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:51,750
And what better way then
exercising everyday. Right?
252
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:54,691
Tomorrow morning at 0600 hours.
253
00:10:54,724 --> 00:10:57,297
0600 hours?
254
00:10:57,331 --> 00:10:58,767
That's... that's...
255
00:10:58,801 --> 00:11:00,538
that's 6:00
in the morning.
256
00:11:04,314 --> 00:11:09,293
Hut-two, three, four. Hut-two,
three, four.
257
00:11:09,326 --> 00:11:14,573
Hut-two, three, four, make those
tummy touch the floor.
258
00:11:14,606 --> 00:11:19,384
Five, six, seven, eight, lower
those back and keep them
striaght.
259
00:11:19,418 --> 00:11:26,134
Hut-two, three, four. Hut-two,
three, four.
260
00:11:26,167 --> 00:11:32,482
And halt.
261
00:11:32,516 --> 00:11:37,495
Well, it certainly makes you
feel better. Doesn't it?
262
00:11:37,529 --> 00:11:42,239
I don't know. Right now I can't
feel anything.
263
00:11:42,273 --> 00:11:44,278
Alright troops, can I have your
attention?
264
00:11:44,311 --> 00:11:46,149
I would like to make an
announcement.
265
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:48,756
Tomorrow morning we will not be
doing calisthenics.
266
00:11:48,789 --> 00:11:51,730
(All cheering)
267
00:11:51,763 --> 00:11:53,835
Hold it, hold it...
268
00:11:53,868 --> 00:11:56,875
Instead, I have a special
surprise.
269
00:11:56,908 --> 00:12:02,122
♪ Military Music ♪
270
00:12:16,122 --> 00:12:17,726
♪♪
271
00:12:31,159 --> 00:12:33,131
♪♪
272
00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:43,155
♪♪
273
00:12:47,599 --> 00:12:50,405
Hut-two, hut-two,
hut-two, come on in.
274
00:12:50,439 --> 00:12:54,449
Hut-two, hut-two, hut-two,
that's good, hut-two.
275
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,822
Hut-two, hut-two,
hut-two, hut-two.
276
00:12:56,855 --> 00:12:58,860
All present and accounted for?
277
00:12:58,894 --> 00:13:00,564
Hut-two, hut-two.
278
00:13:00,597 --> 00:13:02,535
All right, fall out.
279
00:13:02,569 --> 00:13:05,509
Hut-two, hut-two, hut-two...
280
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:12,159
Oh, honey, I'm sorry
I got you into this.
281
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,197
Why didn't you just
drop out and go home?
282
00:13:14,231 --> 00:13:15,834
Are you kidding?
283
00:13:15,868 --> 00:13:18,441
And face
a court-martial?
284
00:13:18,474 --> 00:13:19,643
( blows whistle )
285
00:13:19,678 --> 00:13:21,381
Chow time!
286
00:13:37,955 --> 00:13:40,695
( groaning )
287
00:13:40,729 --> 00:13:42,700
As Sergeant Emma
would say
288
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,237
are you a-okay?
289
00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:47,411
Oh, no, my "A"
is far from okay.
290
00:13:47,444 --> 00:13:50,786
And my "B" and "C"
are the same.
291
00:13:50,819 --> 00:13:53,726
You know, if Emma
weren't Alice's cousin,
292
00:13:53,761 --> 00:13:56,400
I'd ship her out
for overseas duty.
293
00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:57,503
Yeah. Hear, hear.
294
00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:58,538
( knock at door )
295
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,345
Come in!
296
00:14:02,916 --> 00:14:03,751
Mom? Dad?
297
00:14:03,785 --> 00:14:04,921
Yeah?
298
00:14:04,954 --> 00:14:06,758
On behalf
of all the kids,
299
00:14:06,792 --> 00:14:08,997
we'd like to put
a proposition to you.
300
00:14:09,030 --> 00:14:10,968
What kind
of proposition?
301
00:14:11,002 --> 00:14:12,907
Well, if we don't
have to have Emma
302
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,010
the rest of the week,
303
00:14:14,043 --> 00:14:15,780
we'll do all
the housework.
304
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,485
We'll even get up
at 0600 hours
305
00:14:17,518 --> 00:14:19,890
and do stuff before
we go to school.
306
00:14:19,924 --> 00:14:20,893
And we'll come home
right after school
307
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:23,032
and do work, too.
308
00:14:23,065 --> 00:14:24,869
GREG:
What we're
trying to say is,
309
00:14:24,902 --> 00:14:26,406
we'd like an
honorable discharge
310
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,676
from Emma's Army.
311
00:14:27,709 --> 00:14:31,452
Oh that's funny. Your father and
I were just talking about that.
312
00:14:31,486 --> 00:14:32,488
And?!
313
00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:35,596
Well, It's not quite that
simple.
314
00:14:35,629 --> 00:14:37,032
Emma is Alice's cousin
315
00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:39,505
and we're on kind
of delicate ground.
316
00:14:39,538 --> 00:14:40,374
We wouldn't want
317
00:14:40,407 --> 00:14:42,980
to hurt Alice's
feelings, would we?
318
00:14:43,013 --> 00:14:44,083
I guess not.
319
00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:46,555
We didn't
think of that.
320
00:14:46,589 --> 00:14:49,061
Mmm, well, I guess
321
00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:52,737
we're all stuck
for the duration.
322
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:55,043
I wish
we could give her
323
00:14:55,076 --> 00:14:57,081
a three-day pass
or something.
324
00:14:57,115 --> 00:15:00,122
Yeah, that
sure would help.
325
00:15:00,155 --> 00:15:01,392
Hey, why not?
326
00:15:01,425 --> 00:15:03,330
Mike, why couldn't
we get her
327
00:15:03,363 --> 00:15:04,499
to take a couple
of days off?
328
00:15:04,532 --> 00:15:06,036
Or even one!
329
00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:07,740
That's a good idea.
330
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,712
Let's talk to her.
331
00:15:09,745 --> 00:15:10,112
( groans )
332
00:15:10,146 --> 00:15:12,284
Oh, honey...
333
00:15:19,134 --> 00:15:21,808
Oh, just arranging these
dishes in G.I. order.
334
00:15:21,841 --> 00:15:22,710
Have you ever read
335
00:15:22,744 --> 00:15:24,949
the army manual on
mess hall organization?
336
00:15:24,983 --> 00:15:26,820
No, I'm afraid I haven't.
337
00:15:26,853 --> 00:15:27,990
Well, you should.
338
00:15:28,023 --> 00:15:29,026
It's an eye-opener.
339
00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:32,668
Uh, Emma, we appreciate
your working so hard,
340
00:15:32,701 --> 00:15:34,806
but Mrs. Brady and I
341
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,778
are a little
concerned about it.
342
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,048
Yeah, we think
you've been working
343
00:15:38,081 --> 00:15:39,485
just a little too hard.
344
00:15:39,518 --> 00:15:41,422
Nothing wrong
with hard work.
345
00:15:41,455 --> 00:15:43,127
No, no, but you
can overdo it.
346
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,930
Even in the army
they gave you
347
00:15:44,964 --> 00:15:46,769
three-day passes,
didn't they?
348
00:15:46,802 --> 00:15:48,640
Oh, sure they did,
but I never took them.
349
00:15:48,674 --> 00:15:51,112
You never took them.
350
00:15:51,146 --> 00:15:55,424
Mr. And Mrs. Brady, I served
20 years in Uncle Sam's army.
351
00:15:55,457 --> 00:15:58,864
Never goldbricked once--
I'm not about to start now.
352
00:15:58,899 --> 00:16:01,538
No, sir. I've got
a week's special duty here.
353
00:16:01,571 --> 00:16:03,543
You're gonna get
every minute of it.
354
00:16:03,576 --> 00:16:04,579
Hey, Mr. Brady,
355
00:16:04,612 --> 00:16:06,584
that buckle of yours
is tarnishing.
356
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:09,791
I've got an army glad rag
that'll shine that right up.
357
00:16:12,698 --> 00:16:13,935
We heard.
358
00:16:15,138 --> 00:16:16,675
Sorry, kids.
359
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:19,515
Emma's not going to budge
until Alice returns
360
00:16:19,548 --> 00:16:20,618
from her vacation.
361
00:16:20,651 --> 00:16:21,553
I don't think
I can stand it
362
00:16:21,587 --> 00:16:22,690
till Alice gets back.
363
00:16:24,895 --> 00:16:28,203
There must be
something we can do.
364
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,809
I called you guys together
for some good news.
365
00:16:30,842 --> 00:16:34,217
Marcia and I have figured out
some plans for Sergeant Emma.
366
00:16:34,251 --> 00:16:35,687
ALL:
Good!
367
00:16:35,721 --> 00:16:37,692
All right, you two
get a special mission
368
00:16:37,726 --> 00:16:39,864
that's going to knock
Emma for a loop.
369
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:42,538
And you two are going
to help me and Greg.
370
00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:43,641
Come here.
371
00:16:43,674 --> 00:16:45,211
( talking quietly )
372
00:16:45,244 --> 00:16:47,149
Think Emma's
going to be scared?
373
00:16:47,183 --> 00:16:48,719
Sure. Remember Alice?
374
00:16:48,753 --> 00:16:51,526
She screamed,
and jumped ten feet high.
375
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,534
Emma will leave here
as fast as she can.
376
00:16:54,568 --> 00:16:55,636
Where shall we put it?
377
00:16:55,670 --> 00:16:57,708
Hey, how about
the wastebasket?
378
00:16:57,741 --> 00:16:59,212
Perfect!
379
00:16:59,245 --> 00:17:01,250
Okay, Goliath, we're
counting on you.
380
00:17:01,283 --> 00:17:02,720
Sure was nice
of Benjie
381
00:17:02,753 --> 00:17:03,923
to lend us
his pet mouse.
382
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:05,427
Yeah.
383
00:17:07,699 --> 00:17:08,702
Ready?
384
00:17:08,735 --> 00:17:09,570
Roger.
385
00:17:09,604 --> 00:17:11,208
Emma's got
me saying it.
386
00:17:11,242 --> 00:17:12,879
Okay, go.
387
00:17:12,912 --> 00:17:14,717
BOTH ( screaming ):
Emma! Emma!
388
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,621
There's a rat
in the kitchen!
389
00:17:16,654 --> 00:17:18,860
It's great big!
It's got huge yellow teeth.
390
00:17:18,894 --> 00:17:20,965
They're probably
all over the place!
391
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,201
Where's this one?
392
00:17:22,234 --> 00:17:23,739
It's in
the wastebasket!
393
00:17:23,772 --> 00:17:25,643
Watch out! Those
teeth are horrible!
394
00:17:25,676 --> 00:17:26,846
And yellow! Awful!
395
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,283
Ooh, it's going
to get us!
396
00:17:28,316 --> 00:17:30,054
Oh, what? This
little fellow?
397
00:17:30,087 --> 00:17:32,058
Ooh! He's going
to get us!
398
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:35,734
Why, he wouldn't hurt a fly.
399
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:40,646
Remember, good soldiers
aren't afraid of anything.
400
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:41,916
He's cute.
401
00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:44,021
Here, make a pet out of him.
402
00:17:51,873 --> 00:17:54,814
She sure wasn't
scared of a mouse.
403
00:17:54,847 --> 00:17:56,719
Maybe Benjie
has a skunk.
404
00:17:56,752 --> 00:17:59,826
Skunk! I think
we need King Kong.
405
00:18:01,029 --> 00:18:03,736
EMMA:
♪ As we hit
the dusty trail... ♪
406
00:18:03,769 --> 00:18:04,805
Hi, Emma.
407
00:18:04,839 --> 00:18:05,674
Hi, troops.
408
00:18:05,707 --> 00:18:08,915
♪ As those caissons
go rolling... ♪
409
00:18:08,949 --> 00:18:10,018
You want something?
410
00:18:10,051 --> 00:18:11,789
Well, we were
just wondering
411
00:18:11,822 --> 00:18:13,126
why you're
working so hard
412
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:14,194
if you feel so bad.
413
00:18:14,228 --> 00:18:15,932
Who says I feel bad?
414
00:18:15,966 --> 00:18:18,806
You're always telling us to
stand up straight like you do.
415
00:18:18,839 --> 00:18:20,778
And, from the way
you're bent over,
416
00:18:20,811 --> 00:18:22,047
you must
feel terrible.
417
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,954
I'm just bent over dusting.
418
00:18:24,988 --> 00:18:26,892
Well, what about
the dark circles?
419
00:18:26,925 --> 00:18:27,995
What dark circles?
420
00:18:28,028 --> 00:18:29,131
Under your eyes.
421
00:18:29,165 --> 00:18:30,902
Yeah. You look
kind of feverish.
422
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,238
Feverish?
423
00:18:32,272 --> 00:18:34,645
Maybe we shouldn't
have said anything.
424
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,148
Yeah.
Forget it, Emma.
425
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:37,719
See you around.
426
00:18:44,902 --> 00:18:45,772
Hi, Emma.
427
00:18:45,805 --> 00:18:47,041
Hi.
428
00:18:52,387 --> 00:18:54,392
Emma, are you
feeling okay?
429
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,865
Well, sure,
I'm feeling okay.
430
00:18:56,899 --> 00:18:58,703
Oh, but your face
is so flushed.
431
00:18:58,736 --> 00:19:00,641
I thought you
might be sick.
432
00:19:01,811 --> 00:19:03,782
And what's the matter
with your eyes?
433
00:19:03,815 --> 00:19:05,686
My eyes? Why?
434
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,858
Well, they look
kind of glazed.
435
00:19:09,228 --> 00:19:11,333
Maybe she's
getting the pinkeye.
436
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:14,708
Emma, now you're getting
pale as a ghost.
437
00:19:14,742 --> 00:19:15,878
Pale?
438
00:19:15,912 --> 00:19:16,847
You better sit down.
439
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,718
You look like
you might faint.
440
00:19:18,752 --> 00:19:20,790
Why, I never fainted
in my whole life.
441
00:19:20,824 --> 00:19:21,927
I think you're supposed
442
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,897
to put your head
between your knees.
443
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:24,900
Emma, you ought
to take it easy.
444
00:19:24,934 --> 00:19:26,237
Go away for a couple
of days' rest.
445
00:19:26,270 --> 00:19:27,339
Right!
446
00:19:27,372 --> 00:19:29,044
You know what's
the matter with me?
447
00:19:29,077 --> 00:19:30,246
It's those calisthenics.
448
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,917
Boy, I bet that's
what it is.
449
00:19:31,951 --> 00:19:33,421
Too much
exercising, right?
450
00:19:33,454 --> 00:19:35,459
Wrong. I've been
too easy on myself.
451
00:19:35,492 --> 00:19:36,996
Getting soft
as a civilian.
452
00:19:37,029 --> 00:19:40,037
Effective 0600 hours tomorrow,
double calisthenics.
453
00:19:40,071 --> 00:19:43,980
We are really going
to shape up around here.
454
00:19:44,013 --> 00:19:49,895
♪ Over hill, over dale,
as we hit the dusty trail ♪
455
00:19:49,928 --> 00:19:54,438
♪ As those caissons
go rolling along... ♪
456
00:20:57,192 --> 00:20:58,361
Oh, honey, honey...
457
00:20:58,394 --> 00:20:59,597
Mmm?
458
00:20:59,631 --> 00:21:01,168
You know what
time it is?
459
00:21:01,201 --> 00:21:03,607
Time for Emma's
exercises.
460
00:21:03,641 --> 00:21:05,879
Yeah.
461
00:21:05,913 --> 00:21:08,553
( sighs )
462
00:21:08,586 --> 00:21:11,359
Oh! Do you realize
what today is?
463
00:21:11,393 --> 00:21:13,063
Yeah. How
could I forget?
464
00:21:13,097 --> 00:21:14,066
Alice is
coming home.
465
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:17,140
The prisoners of war are
about to be liberated.
466
00:21:17,173 --> 00:21:18,008
Oh, boy.
467
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:22,018
She sure will be
a sight for sore eyes...
468
00:21:22,052 --> 00:21:25,293
and a sore back
and sore arms and sore legs.
469
00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:27,933
Oh, well, the kids
can hardly wait.
470
00:21:27,967 --> 00:21:30,072
Honey, why don't
we give Alice
471
00:21:30,105 --> 00:21:31,308
a coming-home party?
472
00:21:31,342 --> 00:21:32,645
Hey, yeah, why not?
473
00:21:32,678 --> 00:21:33,947
Yeah, why don't we?
474
00:21:33,981 --> 00:21:35,552
I'll order a cake
from the bakery
475
00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:37,222
and I'll have
Greg pick it up
476
00:21:37,256 --> 00:21:39,127
on his way home
from school.
477
00:21:39,161 --> 00:21:40,096
Yeah. I'm for that.
478
00:21:40,129 --> 00:21:42,168
Well, we better
get a move on.
479
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:45,543
You know how Emma is
about our 0600 calisthenics.
480
00:21:45,576 --> 00:21:46,612
Roger. I don't want
481
00:21:46,646 --> 00:21:51,691
to get thrown
in the stockade.
482
00:21:51,724 --> 00:21:52,359
Hi, Mom.
483
00:21:52,393 --> 00:21:53,428
Hi.
484
00:21:53,461 --> 00:21:55,601
Here's the cake.
485
00:21:55,634 --> 00:21:58,073
Oh, that looks delicious.
486
00:21:58,106 --> 00:21:59,176
Deliciously
fattening.
487
00:21:59,210 --> 00:22:00,378
Yeah.
488
00:22:00,412 --> 00:22:01,113
Here, let me help you.
489
00:22:01,148 --> 00:22:01,983
It looks great.
490
00:22:02,016 --> 00:22:04,656
Careful now.
491
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:07,229
Hey! Mind
if I look, too?
492
00:22:07,262 --> 00:22:10,102
Oh, well, it's just
a cake, Emma.
493
00:22:10,135 --> 00:22:11,172
Oh, that's
a party cake
494
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:12,675
if I ever
saw one.
495
00:22:12,709 --> 00:22:15,182
Well, um, let me explain,
Emma. You see, it's just...
496
00:22:15,215 --> 00:22:17,420
Oh, you don't have
to explain, Mrs. Brady.
497
00:22:17,454 --> 00:22:18,523
I understand.
498
00:22:18,557 --> 00:22:20,027
You do?
499
00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:21,162
Of course I do.
500
00:22:21,196 --> 00:22:22,132
Today's my last day here
501
00:22:22,165 --> 00:22:25,139
and you want to give me
a going-away party.
502
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:28,681
Right?
503
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:31,655
Right.
504
00:22:35,464 --> 00:22:40,476
Well, troops, I never really
expected anything like this.
505
00:22:40,510 --> 00:22:41,746
I want you to know
506
00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:45,455
that this is the nicest thing
that's happened to me since...
507
00:22:45,488 --> 00:22:48,095
Well, since I got
the General Haggarty award
508
00:22:48,128 --> 00:22:50,535
for my campaign,
"Make Your Barracks Beautiful."
509
00:22:50,568 --> 00:22:54,812
Oh, Emma, it's
really nothing.
510
00:22:54,845 --> 00:22:57,084
Yes, it is something, folks.
511
00:22:57,117 --> 00:22:58,687
The army's a lonely life.
512
00:22:58,721 --> 00:23:02,162
You make a friend,
you get transferred away.
513
00:23:02,196 --> 00:23:04,736
Big evening for me
used to be going
514
00:23:04,769 --> 00:23:05,771
to the P.X.
for shoe polish.
515
00:23:05,805 --> 00:23:08,277
I've loved every single minute
I've been here.
516
00:23:08,311 --> 00:23:11,017
And you've all
shaped up just great.
517
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:15,796
If it was in my power,
518
00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:20,708
I'd give you all good conduct
medals with an oak leaf cluster.
519
00:23:23,415 --> 00:23:24,450
Hi, everybody!
520
00:23:24,483 --> 00:23:25,486
I'm back!
521
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,825
ALL:
Alice!
522
00:23:27,858 --> 00:23:29,295
Hiya!
523
00:23:29,328 --> 00:23:31,133
Oh, my.
524
00:23:31,167 --> 00:23:32,770
Oh, my!
525
00:23:32,804 --> 00:23:33,807
What a reception!
526
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,279
I'll go out
and come in again!
527
00:23:36,312 --> 00:23:37,315
Ah, well!
528
00:23:37,348 --> 00:23:39,487
Having a little
celebration here?
529
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,394
Cousin Alice, my wonderful
platoon has made
530
00:23:42,427 --> 00:23:44,432
a farewell party
for old Sarge.
531
00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:48,208
Oh, well,
isn't that nice?
532
00:23:48,242 --> 00:23:49,511
See? I told you
533
00:23:49,544 --> 00:23:51,282
the Bradys were something
pretty special.
534
00:23:51,316 --> 00:23:52,251
And I guess you all
have discovered
535
00:23:52,284 --> 00:23:54,891
that Cousin Emma's
something special, too.
536
00:23:54,924 --> 00:23:56,127
Oh, she's something
special all right.
537
00:23:56,161 --> 00:23:57,731
You better
believe it.
538
00:23:57,764 --> 00:23:59,134
Well, that's great
539
00:23:59,168 --> 00:24:01,273
because now I won't
have to feel funny
540
00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:02,743
about going
away again.
541
00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:05,283
We can just ask Cousin
Emma to come back.
542
00:24:22,157 --> 00:24:23,627
( whistle blowing )
543
00:24:24,229 --> 00:24:26,635
( whistle blowing )
544
00:24:31,547 --> 00:24:33,351
( whistle blowing )
545
00:24:33,384 --> 00:24:35,924
( whistle blowing )
546
00:24:35,958 --> 00:24:37,561
Not again.
547
00:24:38,598 --> 00:24:41,204
( whistle tooting )
548
00:24:42,741 --> 00:24:44,378
( more tooting )
549
00:24:47,853 --> 00:24:49,725
( whistle toots )
550
00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:57,710
Alice, it's 6:00
in the morning.
551
00:24:57,745 --> 00:24:59,448
Yeah, I know.
552
00:24:59,482 --> 00:25:02,489
What are you doing
with that whistle?
553
00:25:02,522 --> 00:25:03,692
Emma left it for me.
554
00:25:03,725 --> 00:25:07,334
She said the whole family
just loved getting up at 6:00
555
00:25:07,367 --> 00:25:08,704
and exercising.
556
00:25:10,241 --> 00:25:12,580
Yeah, and she left me,
as a matter of fact,
557
00:25:12,614 --> 00:25:13,817
all these instructions
558
00:25:13,850 --> 00:25:15,554
and a whole lot
of other things.
559
00:25:15,587 --> 00:25:17,893
First, calisthenics
at 0600, then mess call,
560
00:25:17,927 --> 00:25:19,864
to be followed immediately
by the white glove test,
561
00:25:19,898 --> 00:25:20,934
for the inspection
of the quarters...
562
00:25:20,967 --> 00:25:24,342
If, and then only if,
everyone passes that test,
563
00:25:24,376 --> 00:25:26,781
there'll be a rest...
564
00:25:29,254 --> 00:25:31,560
Hey, where did everybody go?
565
00:25:32,930 --> 00:25:34,901
Eh?
566
00:25:34,935 --> 00:25:36,205
Hey!
38767
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