Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Mom! Alice!

Greg! Marcia!

Peter, Peter, what's the matter?

Is something wrong?

No, I've got great news.

Oh, that's a relief.

Well, come on, tell us the news.

You know the school paper? Yeah?

They needed a new reporter.

A lot of guys tried out for it,

but who do you think they picked?

Oh, I'll take a wild guess-- you!

Yeah! How did you know?

Woman's intuition.

I'm not just going to be an ordinary reporter.

I'm going to have my own column!

Your own column-- that's terrific!

Congratulations, Peter.

Thanks.

And I know just what I'm going to call it--

"The Whole Truth," by...

"Scoop" Brady.

"Scoop"?! All right, that's great!

I'm going to write a column

that'll stand Fillmore Junior High on its ear.

Then I'm gonna write one for my high school,

then for college.

I might become a famous reporter!

Maybe I'll win a Pulitzer prize!

But first, I'd better do something.

What's that?

Learn how to type.

Jan, did you take my pencils?

Nope.

I had three pencils in this drawer; they're gone.

Check with Scoop Brady.

Oh, no.

First, he takes my carbon paper,

then my erasers and now my pencils.

Mine, too.

Did either one of you take

the pencils from my desk? No.

Well, somebody did.

Check with Scoop Brady.

Oh, for crying out loud.

First he takes my carbon paper,

then my erasers and now my pencils.

Did you call me, honey?

Sweetheart, have you seen my typewriter?

It was in here this morning.

Oh, I forgot to tell you-- power of the press.

Scoop Brady borrowed it.

You're kidding?

First he takes my carbon paper,

then my erasers, then my pencils

now my typewriter?

Well, he said he was a little short

on the tools of his trade.

( chuckles )

Oh, well, I guess it's all pretty exciting for him.

I'll put my notes on my tape recorder.

Um, listen, by the way, honey,

don't go looking for your old brown hat.

My old brown hat?

"The...

whole..."

Peter, why are you wearing Dad's old hat?

Cause that is how us reporters look in the newspaper world.

And my name isn't Peter, it's Scoop.

Scoop? You mean Stoop.

Very funny.

(loud noises from tv)

I think we saw this one already.

Nah, they all look the same.

Can you guys turn that thing off? I'm trying to think.

(loud noises from tv)

Hey! What are you doing?!

I told you I can't think!

Cindy: That's nothing new.

Guys, can you knock it off. I'm trying to work.

You better knock it off.

There is 2 of us and only 1 of you.

(all yelling)

Hold it.

Quiet!

What's the matter?

Scoop: Hi Dad.

Big shot scoop won't let us watch tv.

They can watch TV upstairs. I am trying to work.

Why can't you work upstairs?

Dad, a newspaper man needs to stay near the phone.

You never know when a big story might break.

Well, that's a good point.

Why can't your kids watch television upstairs?

That's just a little deaky set up there Dad.

And what if we get hungry?

This is right next to the kitchen.

Yeah!

Look kids, when one person

is doing something that is important to

him, sometimes the others have to

accept a little incovenience.

He means we got to watch upstairs.

I know what he means.

Thanks Dad.

You're welcome.

How's the column coming Scoop.

Writing sure it a lot tougher than I thought.

"The Whole Truth" that's all you got?

That's all I can think of.

(Phone ringing)

I bet that is one of the guys from the press calling.

Scoop Brady talking.

Oh, it's for you Dad.

Thank you

Dad, would you mind keeping it a little short?

You never know when a big story might break.

Sure thing Scoop.

All right, children,

time for exercises.

Not again!

We hate them!

Oh, come on, now.

One, two, one...

Come on, come on.

Hey, what's going on here?

( girls laughing )

Those are really cute!

This is Miss Crocker, our gym teacher.

Oh, how do you do, Miss Crocker?

How do you do? One, two, one...

What are they for?

Well, we're doing a skit

on our teachers on Jamboree Night.

You know, rib them a little.

Well, that's the best time to rib them--

after your final grades.

And, speaking of grades,

you two have finals this week.

I finished all my studying, Mom.

So did I.

That's why I'm helping Marcia with these puppets.

( with British accent ): I'm Mrs. Sanders--

Marcia's English teacher.

Oh, hello.

And this is Mr. Price, the science teacher.

( in low voice ): And now, students,

we take up the study of chlorophyll.

"Chlorophyll" is a Greek word.

"Chloro" means green,

and I guess "phyll"

is the guy who discovered it.

Hey, you got Mr. Price down perfect.

He's the toughest teacher I've ever had.

You have him this term, don't you, Peter?

I sure do.

Well, just remember, Scoop Brady,

you have finals, too.

So don't neglect your studies

because of that column.

Don't worry, Mom, everything's real cool.

Well, just make sure it doesn't warm up.

One, two, one...

Is that your column?

Yeah.

Can we read it?

Well... Come on.

All it says is,

"The Whole Truth by Scoop Brady."

Well, I haven't finished it yet.

It isn't even started.

That's the whole trouble, getting it started.

Before I became a writer,

I could think of a million things to write about.

Now I can't think of one.

Come on, there's lots to write about.

Oh, yeah? Name one.

Well, how about my Jamboree Night?

And the girls' basketball team-- undefeated.

And so is the debating team.

Hey, that's real good stuff.

And the drama club is doing three one-act plays.

And there's a charity... Okay, okay.

You're getting me confused.

I'll get on it right away.

I say, that Scoop is some reporter, I say.

Yes, he is some reporter, indeed.

( laughing )

Well, what do you think?

Uh, well, it's-it's, um...

it's not a, uh, bad column, Pete.

Boy, the typing is real neat, Peter.

You think it's rotten.

Not at all.

The items are fine.

The way you wrote it, it's a little, um...

dull, right, Alice?

Well, you could jazz it up a little.

How?

ALICE: Well, take the pie sale.

You said, "14 apple pies were baked."

Eh. Couldn't you say something like,

"What sweet young thing in the eighth grade

bakes the wildest apple pies in town?"

Hey, I get it--

make it more personal.

Right. The girls' basketball item--

you didn't mention a single name.

Kids like to see their names in the paper

and to read about themselves.

Particularly, if you appeal to their vanity.

Vanity? What's vanity?

Vanity is what makes women with size-12 feet

wear size-eight shoes.

She means flatter them.

Names, and flatter them, huh?

Boy, will I ever!

Thanks!

Peter. Peter.

Hi, Iris.

I just wanted to thank you.

They picked me to be yell leader,

and I owe it all to you.

Why me?

Because of all the things you wrote about me in your column.

I'm glad it helped.

Maybe we can have a malt together after school.

Swell.

And I'm paying;

you're my guest, Peter.

Hey, Peter, you're the greatest.

You mean the item in the column.

I've never been so popular with girls.

They really believe that stuff you wrote

about me being a great dancer.

Well, you are, compared to me;

I can't dance at all.

Here. It's only some candy bars,

but I just wanted to show my appreciation.

Thanks.

Hey, if you can think of anything else

to say about me,

I've got an uncle who owns a pizza place.

See you later.

Peter! I've been looking all over for you.

Well, it looks like you found me.

Thanks for the great item

in your column about my singing.

Mrs. Meredith asked me to do a solo on Jamboree Night!

That's great!

And, Peter, I'm going to have

a super party soon,

and you're the first name on my guest list.

I know you're studying, Eddie,

but I need an item for my column.

Yeah, something real snappy-- a little gossip or...

Have you got the whole thing about osmosis right now, Eddie?

Yeah, I know...

that science class isn't too easy.

Okay, let me know if you're stuck again. Bye.

Well, did you get him squared away on osmosis?

Yep.

Yeah, well, that makes me feel a little bit better.

How do you mean?

Well, with all the time

you've been spending on your column

and all the parties you've been invited to,

your mother and I have been a little bit afraid

you've been neglecting your schoolwork.

Nah. I'm going to do some more studying right now.

You are? Yeah.

Hey, that's good.

Turn out the lights when you're through.

Osmosis... osmosis...

I'd better find out what in heck osmosis is...

or does!

We both had Mr. Price for science,

and we know what kind of final exams he gives.

I'm sure we can help.

Thanks. I just hope it's not too late.

The easiest way to remember things is

by making up little rhymes about them--

like, "a vertebrate has a back that's straight."

A vertebrate has a back that's straight.

Hey, that's a great idea.

Do you know what a primate is?

Primate... primate... primate...

let's see...

I don't think I do.

On second thought, I'm sure I don't.

You can remember it like this.

"A primate has the size and shape

of a monkey, a man or any old ape."

A primate has the size and shape

of a monkey, a man or any old ape.

Hey, that's a great system!

Hey, it worked for me.

Me, too.

Hey, I just thought of another rhyme. What?

"Next year's going to be so nice;

I won't have to worry about Mr. Price."

Pete, you better hit the book

and read it.

Mr. Price,

have pity on my brother.

PETER: Mr. Price?

Yes, Peter.

I was wondering...

that exam we took on Friday:

Have you finished grading all the papers yet?

Not all of them.

Oh.

As is my customary procedure,

I grade the papers alphabetically,

according to student names.

I'm presently up to, um, "L."

"L"? Then you're past "B."

A keen analytical deduction.

Keener than most of your deductions

in the examination, I'm afraid, Peter.

That sounds like I didn't do so good.

You didn't do so well, either.

I'm quite disappointed in you, Peter.

For the first half of the semester,

you received a "B."

I thought you would be

one of my better students.

Is this test going to have a big effect on my report card?

Final examinations usually do, Peter.

Thank you, sir.

( sighs )

"D." A big, fat "D."

Alice: I know you from somewhere.

Alice in French accent: (Speaking French)

Alice in Frech accent: I've been chasing you to the far corners or the world.

Alice: I bet you say that to all the girls.

Alice in Frech accent: You impecunious fool. Kiss me.

(laughing)

Oh hi kids. Uh... I was um... Uh...

Don't just stand there like a dummy. Get me out of this.

Hi, Peter. Hi, Mom.

Hey, what's your hurry?

Come here a minute.

I've got a lot of things to do.

How did you do on your finals?

Uh, most of them went okay.

How was your science final?

Was Mr. Price as tough as they say?

Mr. Price said he hasn't finished grading

all the test papers yet.

Well, how do you think you did?

I'm sure I didn't get an "A."

Well, I'll settle for an A-minus.

Boy, so would I...

Hi Pete.

What do you think you are doing?

We are going to watch TV.

Why don't you watch TV down in the family room.

We can't...

You got us kicked out of the family room, dumb head.

I'm kick you back in.

They way you are kicking us around, you must think we are

footballs.

I got to do a lot of heavy thinking up here.

If you don't think too loud, you won't bother us.

Look, if you both go watch TV downstairs, I'll give you candy bar okay?

Me too?

You too.

Wow, you got a whole bunch.

Where did you get all that candy?

From a guy from school. I wrote a couple nice things about him on the column.

You mean people give things to you for that?

Sure, they like to read nice things about themselves.

They give you candy bars, pizza, sodas.

And passes to the movies.

And maybe...

Maybe even a good grade.

Yeah!

Cindy: Yeah what?

Nevermind, you'll miss your movie. Hurry up.

I got a special column to right.

Say, any hot flashes

to shake the world with, Scoop?

( mumbles through pencil )

What?

I said I'm almost finished.

Greg, what's a way of saying

somebody's the best at his job?

"Outstanding."

No, I've already used that one.

"Super." "Terrific."

No. I used them, too.

"Head and shoulders above the crowd."

Hey, that's great.

"There have been many great men in our country--

"Washington, Lincoln-- but we have a man in our school

who is just as great: Mr. Price."

Mr. Price?!

The science teacher?

Yeah. Here's the carbon copy

if you want to read it.

( laughs )

Are you kidding?

When I had him, we called him "Mr. Sourpuss."

That's just the way you see him.

I've got to get this column over to my editor right away.

Washington, Lincoln...

and Mr. Price?!

Good morning, Mr. Price.

What is so good about it, may I ask?

No, Marcia.

I can still see your lips move.

It's not easy to talk with your mouth closed.

Marcia, Jan, you got to read this.

You won't believe it.

( speaking quietly )

Mr. Price?!

Peter's flipped.

I'm Mr. Price, and even I don't believe it.

I don't blame you.

It gets better.

There you are.

Say, listen, Hi, Dad.

I thought you were going to take care

of that back lawn this afternoon.

Oh, yeah, I will, Dad. Right away.

( laughing )

What's so funny?

Look, look. This is. Look, read it.

It's Scoop Brady's latest column.

You mean we got an Art Buchwald in the family?

I'm not sure. Look, look.

( laughing )

I don't think I've gotten to the funny part yet.

It's all funny if you know Mr. Price.

He's the dullest.

I'm not going to have him until next year,

but everybody in the whole school knows

how dull Mr. Price is.

He's the kind of guy, Dad,

who tells the class jokes in Latin.

And, all semester, only one kid laughed,

and he was Italian.

( laughter )

Come on. I think you're being a little hard on Mr. Price.

It's not that he's a bad teacher.

He just has a little trouble

getting through to the kids.

According to this,

he seems to have gotten through to Peter.

Listen, don't forget the lawn, okay?

I won't. I won't. Okay.

Do you think Peter

actually thinks he's great?

Are you kidding?

He's got to have some reason

for writing that column.

A "D"?

What's that, Mrs. Brady?

Look what I found in Peter's jacket.

It's his science test.

I thought it hadn't even been graded yet.

Oh, my.

And "D" sure doesn't stand for "dandy."

No wonder he was being so evasive about it.

Well, I'm not excusing Peter, honey,

but it isn't easy to tell your parents

about a bad grade.

He's a good student.

I'll bet he didn't study at all.

You know, it's really ironic.

How do you mean?

Well, because Peter wrote

a whole column about Mr. Price.

He made him sound like a cross

between Albert Einstein and Albert Schweitzer.

Yeah, well, I'll bet

that was before he got the "D."

No. As a matter of fact, he...

...he wrote it after.

How did you find my test?

Well, you left it

in the pocket of your jacket.

Oh.

Well, it was a tough test, Dad.

Ask any of the kids.

I'm sure it was.

Look, Peter, your mother and I

wouldn't mind the "D" so much

if we thought you had done your very best.

But you didn't, did you?

No.

No, you didn't.

You were spending too much time

being Scoop Brady, reporter,

not enough time being

Peter Brady, student, right?

I'm sorry.

Mmm.

Listen...

about this article you wrote this afternoon

about Mr. Price.

You know about that, too?

Yes, I do.

Now, was that, like your article says

"The Whole Truth,"

or was that just a snow job, huh?

In hopes of getting Mr. Price

to give you a better grade

on your report card?

A snow job, I guess.

( sighs )

Son, there is a thing called "Power of the press."

And, with the use of that power,

comes responsibility.

I guess I wasn't very responsible, was I?

No, you weren't.

Writing nice things about your friends,

or about Mr. Price, just to get personal reward

isn't exactly honest reporting.

But what can I do now?

I've already turned in the column.

I'm sure you'll think of something.

Yes, Peter?

Good morning, Mr. Price.

I guess I'm a little early.

You are, indeed.

Your class doesn't occur for another three hours.

Sir, I have to talk to you about something.

Proceed.

I wrote a column about you,

it's coming out in the paper,

and some of the things I said

I didn't really mean.

Oh?

Like, I said you were

the greatest teacher in the world.

I didn't really mean the greatest.

I meant fantastic.

Not really fantastic.

More like terrific.

Not terrific... I meant...

I know what you meant, Peter.

I believe this is the article

to which you are referring.

Yeah. How did you get it?

Newspaper procedure--

an editor has to verify factual data

before it's printed.

Oh.

Peter, I've been a teacher too long

not to recognize a soft-soap job.

Snow job, sir.

Snow job, soft soap, whatever.

Your flattery was as transparent

as the membranous appendage of a lepidoptera.

A what?

The wing of a butterfly.

"Lepidoptera" is the scientific name for "butterfly."

You should have known that, Peter.

Oh. I thought I was being subtle.

Oh, I can read between the lines.

I take it from this, ( taps paper )

that my students find me somewhat remote

and lacking in wit.

Boy, you really can read between the lines.

Also, I take it I may have

some problem of communication.

Well, it's just with all those

Greek and Latin words you use,

the kids almost have to be professors to understand.

Well, perhaps we've both learned something

from this experience.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Mr. Price.

Could you give me a hint

to what my final grade of the semester will be?

You'll get exactly what you deserve, Peter.

( sighs )

That's what I was afraid of.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Peter.

I just want to tell you

that I talked to Mr. Price, and I told him what I did.

Well, I'm glad, son.

That took courage to do that.

And, from now on,

I'm not going to take any candy bars

or movie passes or anything else,

no matter what I write in my column.

That a boy.

I bet you feel better about that, don't you?

I sure do.

Especially about Mr. Price, he was really nice.

I feel better about that, too.

You do? Uh-huh.

That's great.

Could you hold that feeling

until my science grade comes out?

Are you almost through, honey?

Yeah, sweetheart. I'm down to my last signature.

Boy, I bet I'm the only parent in the neighborhood

who gets writer's cramp signing report cards.

Well, the kids did all right,

even counting Peter's problem with Mr. Price.

Oh, yeah.

Well, he got a "C."

Altogether, I think they got 12 A's, 29 B's,

and only seven C's.

Well, that's a good average.

You betcha.

Good night, honey.

I'd give it a "C."

Give what a "C"?

That kiss-- I'd give it a "C."

How about a chance to improve my grade, Teach?

That seems fair.

Hmm... yes, that's definitely a "B."

Only a "B"?!

Well, I'm sorry.

I calls 'em as I feels 'em.

How about another chance for a willing pupil?

Fire when ready, Gridley.

Now, that's an "A."