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The Brady Bunch #067SS
Closed captioned
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♪ Here's the story ♪
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00:00:04,295 --> 00:00:05,839
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
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00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,424
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
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00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,634
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
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00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,470
♪ All of them had
hair of gold ♪
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00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,472
♪ Like their mother ♪
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00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:17,475
♪ The youngest one
in curls ♪
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00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:21,479
♪ It's the story
of a man named Brady ♪
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00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,275
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
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00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:28,862
♪ They were four men
living all together ♪
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00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:31,364
♪ Yet they
were all alone ♪
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00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:35,660
♪ Till the one day
when the lady met this fellow ♪
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00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:39,497
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
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00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:44,044
♪ That this group
must somehow form a family ♪
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00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,755
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
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00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:49,466
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,468
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:57,182
♪ That's the way
we became the Brady Bunch. ♪
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Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
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00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:27,587
MARCIA:
Mom, how come
we suddenly decided
22
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,464
to clean all this old junk
out of the attic?
23
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,841
Because we
need room for
all the new junk.
24
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,843
Listen, I think I've
toted my last barge
25
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,178
and lifted
my last bale.
26
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,763
Besides, I want
to work on this
27
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,264
before the kids
get at it.
28
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,432
I've heard
that before.
29
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,059
( laughing )
30
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,477
What's so funny?
31
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:43,645
This old picture's
so funny.
32
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,647
Look at it. Look.
33
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:47,649
That's a picture
of my great-grandmother.
34
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:50,568
Is that supposed
to be a bathing suit?
35
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,822
That is a turn-
of-the-century
full-length bikini.
36
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:56,241
As a matter of fact,
my great-grandmother
got arrested
37
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,617
for wearing one of those.
38
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,160
What for?
39
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,829
Indecent exposure.
40
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,997
Well, look,
her knees are showing.
41
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:04,999
Oh, horrors,
that naughty girl.
42
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,252
( laughter )
43
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,587
Hey, look at this one.
44
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,506
It's Jan!
45
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,427
Gee, I don't remember
taking that.
46
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:17,512
Well, you didn't,
honey.
47
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,556
That's a picture
of my Aunt Jenny.
48
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:22,433
It was taken when she
was just about your age.
49
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,186
My goodness, that must have been
about 40 years ago.
50
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:28,648
The resemblance
is remarkable,
Mrs. Brady.
51
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,650
It really is, isn't it?
52
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,569
Looks just
like Jan.
53
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,154
Exactly.
54
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,072
Gee, it's spooky.
55
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,241
Well, come on,
everybody, up
and at 'em.
56
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,160
There are a lot
more goodies
in the attic.
57
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:41,327
Come on.
58
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,789
I wonder what
she looks like now.
59
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,292
Maybe that's what
you're going
to look like.
60
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,961
I think I'll send Aunt Jenny
a picture of myself
61
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,630
and ask her to send me
a picture of herself.
62
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:53,756
Good idea.
63
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:55,675
I'm going
to write her right away.
64
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:59,554
I can hardly wait to see
what she looks like.
65
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:06,728
Hi, Alice.
66
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:07,937
Hi, sweetie.
67
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,522
Is there any mail
for me today?
68
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:12,233
Honey, you have been
asking me that
for ten days.
69
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:15,320
And, every day,
I have told you
the same thing: "no!"
70
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,946
Today I'm going
to tell you "yes."
71
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,406
There is?
On the counter.
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00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:18,865
Oh!
73
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,701
It's from her!
It's from her!
74
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,786
It's from who? It's from who?
75
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,345
JAN:
"Dear soul sister,
thanks for your picture
76
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:42,263
"and I bet
we're the first twins
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00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,224
"that were ever born
40 years apart.
78
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:46,059
"Like you wrote,
it's real spooky.
79
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,019
"Enclosed is
the latest photo of me.
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00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,355
"Hope that very soon
we can exchange hugs
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00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,272
"instead of pictures.
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00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,273
Love, Jenny."
83
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,775
Oh, boy...
84
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,836
Oh, no...
85
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,050
Jan...
86
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,637
do you want to talk?
87
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,181
Come on.
88
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,058
That's what older
sisters are for.
89
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,188
( sniffles )
90
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:35,984
This is Aunt Jenny now--
me 40 years from now.
91
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,902
What are you
talking about?
92
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,320
Don't you understand?
93
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,155
If I look
like this now,
94
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:43,032
I'll look
like that then.
95
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,075
Who says so?
96
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,493
Heredity.
97
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,744
I read
all about genes,
98
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,997
and I talked to Dad
about it, too.
99
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:52,125
Jan, I think you're getting
all upset about nothing.
100
00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:54,002
Don't try to make
me feel better
101
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,296
'cause it won't work.
102
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:59,924
Look... why worry
about something now
103
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,302
that won't happen
for 40 years?
104
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,347
I didn't think
about it that way.
105
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,975
No sense in crying
about it now.
106
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,602
I'll be happy
while I still can.
107
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,605
And maybe, just maybe,
I won't grow up
108
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,524
to look like her.
109
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:21,029
But I will!
110
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,822
I know I will!
111
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,532
( crying )
112
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,285
Missionary? Why?
113
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:27,869
Well, this certain woman
114
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,538
has nothing to look
forward to in life,
115
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,666
and she wants to dedicate
herself to good causes.
116
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,835
Or this woman could
join the Peace Corps
117
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,003
or the Navy
118
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,672
or work for a photographer
in a darkroom.
119
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,257
Now, that's out of left field--
120
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,258
work in a darkroom?
121
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,010
Sure. In a darkroom,
122
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,554
it doesn't matter
what a girl looks like.
123
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,556
CAROL:
Mike, I've got great news.
124
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,974
Yeah, me,
too, sweetheart.
125
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,101
If I have fixed this
gramophone properly,
126
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,354
you're about to hear
Al Jolson sing again.
127
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:55,480
Ah, terrific.
128
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:56,064
Yeah. What's your
news, honey?
129
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,608
Aunt Jenny's coming
to visit us tomorrow.
130
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:00,693
Hey, great.
I look forward
to meeting her.
131
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,362
You have to pick her
up at the airport?
132
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,654
No. She just says
in her telegram
133
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,740
that she's
arriving tomorrow.
134
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,328
( needle scratching )
135
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:16,125
( jaunty '20s music playing )
136
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,336
( music slows and stops )
137
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,712
Well, I thought
138
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,589
I had that
turntable fixed.
139
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,175
JAN:
Did you
want me, Mom?
140
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,427
Oh, honey, I've
got great news.
141
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,429
Aunt Jenny's coming
to visit us tomorrow.
142
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,680
Aunt Jenny?
143
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,099
Yes. You're finally
gonna get to see
144
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,850
your look-alike
face-to-face.
145
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,227
Isn't that
wonderful news?
146
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:37,271
What's so wonderful about it?
147
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:51,577
We may as well face it:
there's no hope for me.
148
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,162
The picture proves it.
149
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,997
Now, Jan, maybe
you don't think
150
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,165
Aunt Jenny's attractive,
151
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,792
but that's just
your opinion.
152
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,794
Maybe it's just
a bad picture.
153
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,712
That's what I'm
going to look like.
154
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,340
Daddy told me himself
all about heredity and genes.
155
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:07,093
Oh, that's what
that was all about.
156
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,095
And you told me that
when you're born,
157
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,097
the genes have already figured
out what you're gonna look like
158
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,098
when you grow up.
159
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,516
Jan, what
a person looks like
160
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,059
is influenced
by a lot of things--
161
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,394
not just genes.
162
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,062
But can you give me
a positive guarantee
163
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,481
that I won't end up
looking like Aunt Jenny?
164
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:30,616
( siren winding down )
165
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:33,369
I think we're
being raided.
166
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,168
Thanks for
the escort, Sonny!
167
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,211
You know where
to send my tickets
168
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,255
to the policemen's ball!
169
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,257
( motorcycle roars off )
170
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,093
Sam, check the carbons
on the pistons.
171
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,304
You've got
a bad knock there.
172
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:54,182
Oh, Aunt Jenny!
173
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:57,059
Carol, honey!
174
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:59,061
You haven't
changed at all
175
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:01,647
from the pretty
little girl I remember,
176
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:05,109
excepting you're prettier,
and in more places.
177
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,611
Oh, Aunt Jenny!
178
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,363
Oh, it's so good
to see you.
179
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,240
Well, Aunt Jenny,
this is Alice.
180
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:11,949
Hello.
181
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,075
Hi, Alice.
182
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,202
And this is
my husband, Mike.
183
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,703
How do you do,
Aunt Jenny?
184
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,831
What kind of a
how-do-you-do is that?
185
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:22,543
This is a how-do-you-do!
Ha!
186
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,128
Oh, mercy.
187
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,672
Jan wrote me she has
five brothers and sisters.
188
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:29,175
How long have you two
been married, anyway?
189
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,760
Three years.
190
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,136
Three years.
191
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,056
Crazy, headstrong kids.
192
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:39,185
And, last but not
least, Aunt Jenny,
193
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,144
this is Bobby.
194
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,229
Aw. How are you,
darling?
195
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,271
Hi, Aunt Jenny.
196
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,149
My goodness,
aren't you beautiful!
197
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,151
Well, that just leaves
my look-alike.
198
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:47,693
Where's Jan?
199
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,737
Oh, well, she's probably
up in her room.
200
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,155
I'll see if
I can find her.
201
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,156
Okay.
202
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,449
Gather 'round, kids.
203
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,660
I've got some
presents for you.
204
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,286
MARCIA:
That wasn't necessary,
Aunt Jenny.
205
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,288
BOBBY:
But it's nice.
I'm with you.
206
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,082
Don't look a gift Aunt
in the mouth.
207
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:03,793
I'm going to be in Istanbul
this Christmas,
208
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,962
so better early than never.
209
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:07,296
( laughing )
210
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,299
Now, let's see what I've got.
211
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,469
Wow!
212
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,888
It's autographed
by Wilt Chamberlain.
213
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:16,556
Do you know him?
214
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:20,476
I've known him since he was
no higher than that.
215
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,144
( laughter )
216
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:24,146
Now, let's see...
217
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,816
You dig magic, Peter?
218
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:27,900
Yeah, I love it.
219
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,527
Okay, come on.
220
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,362
Put these on me.
221
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,406
Okay.
They belonged
to Harry Houdini.
222
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,740
Really?
223
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,951
Harry and I played the same
vaudeville circuit.
224
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:40,121
I did a tap dance and
a snappy-patter routine.
225
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,205
Okay, okay.
226
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,791
Now concentrate.
227
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:44,792
Okay.
228
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:45,793
Hold my hands.
229
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,503
Now, one...
230
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,505
two...
231
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,257
Kalamazoo.
232
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,842
Wow!
233
00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:54,176
How did you do that?
234
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,595
I'll tell you later.
235
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,513
Now let's see what
we've got here.
236
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,515
( squealing )
237
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,146
This is for you, love.
238
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,607
What is it?
239
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,400
It's a shofar.
240
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,653
You only blow it
on Rosh Hashanah.
241
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:15,906
( blowing flat note )
242
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,199
( kids exclaiming )
243
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,784
There you go.
244
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:20,244
What's written on it?
245
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:20,828
It's Hebrew.
246
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,289
That's L'Shanah Tovah,
which means
247
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,290
"Happy New Year!"
248
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,418
Golda Meir gave it to me.
249
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,212
Well, here's your
look-alike, Aunt Jenny.
250
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,089
( squeals )
251
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:35,676
Well, if that doesn't blow
a person's mind.
252
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,638
Hello,
soul sister.
253
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,056
Hello, Aunt Jenny.
254
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:41,932
Who says time marches on?
255
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,852
It just rolled back
40 years for me.
256
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:45,853
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait.
257
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,396
I've got something for you.
258
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:49,774
Here you are.
259
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,193
A little something
Pietro knocked out for me
260
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,235
while I was having lunch
261
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,821
at his pad
on the Riviera one day.
262
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:58,532
Oh. Well, what's it
supposed to be?
263
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,201
It's a portrait of me.
264
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,203
( laughs self-deprecatingly )
265
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,413
And I'm afraid it looks like me.
266
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,832
Well, that certainly
is a valuable gift
267
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,376
for a young girl, Aunt Jenny.
268
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,378
Oh, darling,
I've got dozens of these
269
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:12,421
cluttering up my walls at home.
270
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:15,675
( politely ):
Oh, uh, thank you,
Aunt Jenny.
271
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,429
You're welcome.
272
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:27,478
Aunt Jenny, we'd like
to explain about Jan.
273
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,524
You see, well, she's a little
shier than the rest of the kids.
274
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,150
Isn't she, Mike?
275
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,860
Oh, yeah, that's,
that's all it is.
276
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,737
Balderdash!
277
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,823
I got some bad vibrations
in there.
278
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:41,075
Now, that child doesn't dig me
279
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:44,245
and I'd like
to know why.
280
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:49,041
Quit beating around the bush,
'cause I'm an old bushwhacker.
281
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,919
Okay, I guess we do
owe you the truth.
282
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,254
Um...
283
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,548
Well, Aunt Jenny,
it all started
284
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:59,218
when Jan received
your photograph
in the mail.
285
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,307
The groovy thing about a sari
286
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:08,352
is, you don't have
to wear a girdle with it.
287
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:12,189
Indira Gandhi wears them
all the time.
288
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,778
Now, this...
289
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,906
this is for outback
country in Australia.
290
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,367
It's great
for chasing kangaroos.
291
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,495
( giggling )
292
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,707
Hmm... um...
293
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:34,336
Jan, why don't we
rap a little, hmm?
294
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:38,174
I didn't ask you
up here just to be
my lady-in-waiting.
295
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:41,469
I, uh... I wanted
you to know
296
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,971
that I know
what's bugging you.
297
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,014
Oh?
298
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,557
And I can't say
that I blame you.
299
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,684
Did my parents
say something to you?
300
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,686
Yes.
Oh...
301
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,355
But I had to drag it
out of them.
302
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,357
I'm so embarrassed,
Aunt Jenny.
303
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,568
Don't be
embarrassed, love.
304
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,487
I agree with you.
305
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:02,114
I'd rather look like
Raquel Welch myself.
306
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:07,286
Of course, I could have been
beautiful if I wanted to.
307
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,496
You could?
308
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,998
Oh, plastic surgery does wonders
309
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,000
with noses and chins.
310
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,294
They even can put in curves
311
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,338
where there's nothing
but straight highway.
312
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:20,216
Why didn't you do it?
313
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,967
Oh, just never had the time.
314
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,845
Besides, there are lots
of pretty faces around,
315
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:28,349
but how often do you see
a puss like this?
316
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:36,482
Whoops.
317
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:40,569
Aunt Jenny,
where does the word
318
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,946
"sukiyaki" come from?
319
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,156
Japanese farmers
used to roast meat
320
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,408
over a fire at
the end of a rake.
321
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:50,663
So yaki means "to roast,"
and suki is a rake.
322
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:53,332
Well, sukiyaki certainly
looks better on a menu
323
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,500
than roasted rake.
324
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,001
Hey, how am I doing
with these?
325
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,295
Thinner, thinner.
326
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,756
I want to be able to read
a newspaper through it.
327
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,633
CAROL:
Where'd you get
this recipe?
328
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,302
From one of
Emperor Hirohito's chefs.
329
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,555
I ran into him
at the Ginza
one afternoon.
330
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:12,309
I swapped him a recipe of
Madame Khrushchev's for borscht.
331
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,438
( phone rings )
I'll get it.
332
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,777
Hello? Yes, she is.
333
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,112
Just a minute.
334
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,113
It's long distance for you,
Aunt Jenny.
335
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,322
It's your
secretary.
336
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,074
Oh, will you take a message,
honey?
337
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:30,536
She's tied up right now.
Can I take a message?
338
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:32,580
Oh?
339
00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:37,126
Would you spell that, please?
340
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:40,671
Yeah, I certainly will. Bye.
341
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:44,174
Aunt Jenny, I hate to be
the one to break the news,
342
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,802
but, uh, you now own a llama.
343
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,637
Oh, that's nice.
344
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,264
CAROL:
A llama?!
345
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:53,100
Yeah, the Humane Society
gave it to you in appreciation
346
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,269
for the help you gave in
your fundraising drive.
347
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,314
Hey, the dessert looks groovy!
348
00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:01,442
Now, Aunt Jenny,
what are you going
to do with a llama?
349
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,067
Oh, no problem.
350
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,154
It can graze in the backyard
with the zebra.
351
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,628
( slurps loudly )
352
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,881
Now I shall pass the chanuya
353
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,424
or "honorable tea."
354
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:28,177
Everybody take a sip.
355
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:37,061
In Japan, a sip like that
would be an insult to the host.
356
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,771
Let's hear it, honey.
357
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,775
( slurps loudly )
358
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,401
( all laughing )
359
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,403
JENNY:
Ah... very good.
360
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,822
That the host will dig.
361
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:49,823
( clears throat )
362
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,451
( phone rings )
363
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,078
I'll get it.
364
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:56,038
( coughing )
365
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,083
Hello.
366
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,459
Uh... yes. Just a minute.
367
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:01,835
Aunt Jenny,
368
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,045
it's your
secretary.
369
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,463
I can't be interrupted
370
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,090
in the middle
of a tea ceremony.
371
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,508
Will you take the message, hon?
372
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:10,052
Um, uh... she would like me
to take the message.
373
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,971
( slurps loudly )
374
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,182
( slurps loudly )
375
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:20,688
( slurps loudly )
376
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,189
Yes.
377
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,734
( slurps loudly )
378
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,819
Yeah, I've,
I've got it.
379
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,153
I'll tell her.
380
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,697
( slurps loudly )
381
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,573
Well, Aunt Jenny,
you've been invited
382
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:34,493
to a birthday party
on Ari's yacht.
383
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,495
Is he kidding?
384
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:40,916
I'm not canceling my Peace Corps
assignment in Bolivia
385
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,626
for any
birthday party.
386
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,044
I'll cable Jackie, though.
387
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,130
She's a real trip.
388
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,507
BOBBY:
Boy, I never ate
with chopsticks.
389
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,634
CINDY:
It's easy. Watch.
390
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:51,802
( Bobby grunting )
391
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,137
CINDY:
Mmm...
392
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,138
CAROL:
Pretty good.
393
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:54,930
MIKE:
It's looking good.
394
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,224
CAROL:
Oh, boy.
395
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,477
( others groaning and laughing )
396
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:03,480
This is the easiest way, kids.
397
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:13,532
Haven't dropped a grain of rice
in... 20 years.
398
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,784
( all laugh )
399
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,245
You must travel around
the world a lot, Aunt Jenny.
400
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:22,583
Ah, traveling
is the spice of life.
401
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:24,710
( cackling )
402
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,880
I will never forget the time
I was in Bangkok.
403
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,466
I went to this little nightclub
404
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:33,927
and who was playing the
saxophone but the King himself.
405
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,264
Great jazz buff, the King.
406
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,099
Why, I was pretty good
on the trumpet myself
407
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,434
before my lip went.
408
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:44,271
So I sat in on a jam session
with him.
409
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,648
I had such a time.
410
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:47,649
Before I knew it,
411
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,151
we were back
in the palace,
412
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:52,362
and I was teaching the King
how to blow "Charge."
413
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,198
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da! ♪
414
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,824
Charge!
415
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:56,825
( laughs )
416
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:57,826
( phone rings )
417
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,495
I'll get it.
418
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,291
Hello.
419
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,459
Oh, just a minute.
420
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,127
Aunt Jenny, guess who.
421
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,295
Shall I take
a message?
422
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,171
Please, honey.
423
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,547
Okay.
424
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,884
Hello?
Yes, I'll take a message.
425
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,345
Uh-huh... uh-huh!
426
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,806
CAROL:
Oh, I certainly
will tell her.
427
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:21,183
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
428
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,727
Aunt Jenny, guess what.
429
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,270
A dozen long-
stemmed roses
430
00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:27,397
have just
been delivered
to your house,
431
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,775
along with a
marriage proposal!
432
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,819
( Jenny laughing )
433
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,821
That's that goofy Lester again.
434
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,114
Who's Lester?
435
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,740
A United States senator.
436
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,242
A senator?
437
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:39,576
Are you going to marry him?
438
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,287
Nah. I get lots of proposals.
439
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,540
Well, why don't you
accept one of them?
440
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:48,544
Oh, I guess I'm too young
to settle down yet.
441
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:52,131
Say, isn't anybody gonna
eat my bean curd cakes?
442
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:53,882
( phone rings )
443
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,135
I'm gonna stop
this myself.
444
00:18:58,679 --> 00:18:59,638
Hello.
445
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,348
Yes, it is.
446
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:05,811
Now, look, Hazel,
why don't you knock it off?
447
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:10,149
Oh... I plumb forgot!
448
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:11,233
Yeah, yeah, don't worry.
449
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,277
Don't worry.
I'll make it.
450
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:13,902
( snaps fingers )
451
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,446
Well, kids, I'm sorry
to not eat and run.
452
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:19,283
I've got to catch
the 11:00 plane for Paris.
453
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,868
Paris?
What?
454
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:24,872
A dinner at the American Embassy
for Georges... Pompidou.
455
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:28,125
It's a bore, but you know
how sensitive those French are
456
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,168
if you turn them down.
457
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,169
Oh, do you
have to go?
458
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:32,171
I'm afraid so, sweetie.
459
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,548
Well, I wish
you could stay.
460
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:40,304
Now, that's
nice to hear.
461
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:44,224
I've really got to go,
but I'll be back.
462
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,268
Good.
463
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:49,980
I'll get your bags.
464
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,106
Yeah, let me help.
465
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:54,568
( kids chattering excitedly )
466
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,819
I think Aunt Jenny's
467
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,905
the most wonderful
woman I ever met,
468
00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,490
and I'm going to grow up
to look just like her.
469
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,909
Honey,
like I told you,
470
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,410
genes are
funny things.
471
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,245
There's a
good chance
you might not.
472
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,164
But there's
a good chance I might.
473
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,540
( chuckling )
474
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,344
It's from
Aunt Jenny!
475
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:21,553
What do you
think it is?
476
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:22,888
Well, if it's
from Aunt Jenny,
477
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,932
it could be almost anything.
478
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:25,933
Whoo!
479
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,227
A plaster cast?
480
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:30,229
I'm surprised
there isn't a leg in it.
481
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,856
Let's see
what she says.
482
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,483
"Dear soul sister,
483
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,944
"I really goofed this time.
484
00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:41,073
"After Paris, I tried to work
off that fattening French gravy
485
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,783
"skiing in Switzerland.
486
00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:45,285
"I just got the cast off.
487
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,787
"Had it autographed for you.
488
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:49,164
Regards to the gang.
Love, Jenny."
489
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,208
My goodness, look at this.
490
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,169
Jean-Claude Killy?
Ooh!
491
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:55,796
My gosh,
Peggy Fleming!
492
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:57,172
( gasps )
Sir Edmund Hillary!
493
00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,174
Paul Newman!
494
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,176
Look at this.
( phone rings )
495
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,887
He's a racing
car driver.
496
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,264
Hello.
497
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,308
Yeah. Who's calling?
498
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,810
Just a minute.
499
00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:11,270
Jan.
Yeah?
500
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,271
Stevie for you.
501
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:13,355
Oh, thanks.
502
00:21:14,856 --> 00:21:16,817
Hello, Stevie.
503
00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:19,403
Saturday night?
504
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:21,655
Yeah. At whose house?
505
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:24,324
I guess that'll be okay.
506
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,744
Of course, you understand I'm
not ready to settle down yet.
507
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,957
I won't be
until I'm at least 60.
508
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:33,834
And, even then,
I'm not sure.
509
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,336
But Saturday
night's okay.
510
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:59,526
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