Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Hold this.

Could I bring you up some extra screws?

I've got enough. Thanks, Bobby.

Well, I could bring you up a bigger screwdriver.

No, thanks. This one's fine.

Well, can I help you hold the shutter in place? ( phone rings )

Bobby, I know you want to help,

but there's only room for one up here.

Greg, you got a phone call.

Thanks, Alice. Tell them I'll be right there.

I'll take over while you're on the phone.

No. I'll be right back. And besides, you're too short

to reach the shutter. I am not.

Bobby, stay off the ladder.

How much does he want for his surfboard?

No, no, I want it, it's just

I'll have to raise a little extra cash, that's all.

Okay, I'll call... I'll call Phil right away.

Yeah, I've got his number up in my room.

And thanks for tipping me, Eddie.

All right, good-bye.

Help me!

Anybody, help me!

Up there!

( screams )

Help me, please!

Hang on, Bobby!

Cindy, the ladder.

Oh, what...? Here...

Oh!

BOBBY ( muffled ): Help me! Anybody, help!

Help me!

Please, help!

Help! He...

Help me! Anybody! Aah!

No! Help! No!

I told you to stay off that ladder.

I'm off!

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

( sighs )

You peewees.

You're always trying to act bigger than you are.

Greg...

You saved my life.

I'll pay you back.

Sometime.

That'll be the day.

Better late than never. Is he okay?

He's fine.

Good.

Ahhhh

Okay, now that you saved Tim how about you saving me.

We sure got a lot of stuff.

My feet are killing me.

Yeah, well, it's the bills that are killing me.

Mom, Dad! Am I glad you're home.

What is it sweety.

Well, first I got to ask you some questions.

What?

Is it telling if I tell you something that

somebody else doesn't want you to know?

Yes, I am afraid it is.

Then you'll just have to find out for yourself.

What?

Bobby nearly fell off the house.

Ow!

Well, that's just what you get Bobby.

You know you really could have been hurt instead of getting a few splinters.

Son, what were you doing out there anyways?

Hanging on mostly.

Well if Greg told you not to climb the ladder then why did you?

I wanted to show him that I wasn't too small to do it.

Greg is right. I'm a pee-wee.

I'll always be a pee-wee.

Oh Bobby, there are a lot of boys your age that

are just your size.

Well, that is easy for you to say.

You know who is the smallest in my class?

You?

No! Freddy Hofstetter.

I'm second smallest.

but only because he got a haircut.

Oh Bobby, everyone grows at their own speed

maybe next year you'll be one of the tallest.

No I won't.

And being little is the worst thing is the whole world.

Alice, have you seen the paper?

It's in the family room.

I've been looking all over for that thing.

I want to look at the wanted ad section.

I got to find a way to make some extra loot.

You're not going to finance another jalopy.

No, I'm after a 6 inch board that let me do fly away over

Would you mind repeating that in English?

That means this stoked up hotdogger needs some extra bread so he can latch on to

a heavy board, so he can hit the line-up.

Thanks for the translation.

Hey, by any chance are you talking about surfboard?

Right on.

Hi Sam --- Hi Greg.

Hi, Alice.

Here's your meat order.

Oh, thanks, Sam.

Well, I see I got the boss himself making deliveries.

Alice, it's because I'm crazy about you

and I like to look at you

and besides, my delivery boy quit.

Thanks again.

16 years old and the kid wants fringe benefits.

Well, fringe benefits are the "in" thing.

Yeah, but free filet mignons every day...

No, sir, I got to try to find a new boy this week.

Sam? Yeah?

What if I were to find you an instant delivery boy?

I'd hug you.

An outstanding delivery boy?

I'd kiss you.

The greatest delivery boy in the whole world?

I'd hire him on the spot.

Alice, why don't you quit when you're ahead?

Where do I find this genius?

Stay right where you are.

Greg!

Yes?

What do you want?

It's what Sam wants:

A new delivery boy.

Really? You do?

After school and all day Saturday

a buck-50 an hour.

Wow! That's great.

What about fringe benefits?

Fringe benefits?

Who cares about fringe benefits?

You're hired-- see you tomorrow at 4:00 sharp, with your bike.

Out of sight, and thanks, Sam. You, too, Alice.

I'm going to get over to Phil's and take a look at that new surfboard.

Hey, uh, thanks, Alice. You really did me a favor.

( Alice and Sam chuckling )

Hi, Sam.

What do you say, shrimp-o?

Shrimp-o?

What did I say?

Bobby's been going through a thing about being short.

That "shrimp-o" kind of hit him.

Oh, boy, have I got a big mouth.

Is it okay if I go say I'm sorry?

Oh, yeah, Sam.

( blowing nose )

Bobby?

Um...

look, I'm sorry about that "shrimp-o" remark, pal.

Don't you think I know how you feel?

I had the same hang-up when I was a kid, only worse.

You did?

Yeah. Well, I weighed only four pounds when I was born.

My old man wanted to send me back.

I even flunked out of kindergarten.

You know why?

Why?

I was such a peewee the teacher kept

marking me absent. ( chuckles )

B-But then it happened.

In one year, I grew six inches.

Six inches in one year?

Mm. Wow.

If I could do that till I'm 21...

Uh, let's see, you'd dress out at about, uh, uh...

ten feet, two inches tall.

Wow!

Hey, I'd make the basketball team.

Pal, you'd be the basketball team.

( chuckles )

What are you doing?

Stretching myself.

Stretching yourself?

Yeah. I bet I'm getting longer by the minute.

Well, if it doesn't work, don't feel bad.

You can always be a jockey.

( chuckles )

( bugle plays horse racing call )

( chuckling )

Well, how do you like the meat business after one day?

I'm bushed.

I wish there were more vegetarians.

I'll bet I pumped 40 miles on my bike today.

Well, just keep thinking about that new surfboard.

Not new-- used-- but I'm going to fix it up.

I should be doing some fixing up myself:

New counters, modernize that meat locker.

I got big dreams.

Trouble is, they're bigger

than my wallet.

Speaking of money, Sam.

Yeah? When's payday?

Saturday.

I can make my first payment

on my surfboard.

Hey, what are you looking at?

Bobby. Do you think it's good for him to strech himself out like that.

It never hurt Tarzan.

Think what it did to Jane.

Oh honey he is not going to hurt himself.

He's at it all the time.

So?

Well, if his arms stretch and his legs don't he may grow up to look like Cheetah.

Nothing... Still the same size.

Bobby, you got to give yourself a little time.

Guess I better strech some more.

Poor Bobby.

He keeps measuring himself all the time.

And he gets grumpier and grumpier.

No wonder, he's trying so hard to get tall.

If he would just grow a little.

Even a half an inch would encourage him.

Oh, wow!

Mom, Dad, it works!

Stretching myself really works!

I grew an inch and a half!

How much?

A whole inch and a half.

Honey, maybe you grew, but I don't think an inch and a half.

Not since yesterday.

But I measured myself three times.

A half inch, plus one whole inch.

No, it's only a half an inch.

How do you know it's only a half an inch?

Well...

Yeah, how do you know, Cindy?

I made the mark a half-inch lower,

so that Bobby would think he grew.

Oh, Cindy.

I'm sorry.

Well, that's okay.

I still grew an inch.

No. Only a half an inch.

You did the same thing, too?

Well, a half-inch isn't bad.

Bobby...

Oh, no.

I guess we should have checked with each other.

That's the dirtiest trick I ever heard of.

MIKE: Bobby.

They weren't trying to trick you.

I don't think what they did was right...

They were only trying to help.

They did it because they know it's true.

Know what's true?

I'm a shrimp-o! A peewee!

I'll never grow another inch as long as I live!

Anything you want from the market, Mrs. Brady?

Did I leave something off the list?

No, I just thought I'd do something

a little special for Bobby.

Sometimes you can help a sad little heart

with a happy little tummy.

Ah, that's very sweet of you, Alice.

What are you going to fix him?

His favorite dessert: Strawberry tall cake.

Strawberry tall cake?

Mrs. Brady, from now on I am not using

the word "short" anymore.

Hi, Bobby.

Hey, wait a minute.

Your clothes...

Bobby, your eye.

What in the world happened?

I got in a fight with Tommy Huxley.

Tommy Huxley?

He's twice as big as you are.

Why doesn't he pick on somebody his own size?

Well... I picked on him.

You started the fight?

Why?

Well, he was acting like a big shot.

Oh.

Well, uh, you weren't by any chance feeling

like a little shot, were you?

Well, I am a little shot.

That's all I'll ever be.

Oh, Bobby... listen, you've heard about

Napoleon Bonaparte, haven't you?

Yeah. He's that funny guy that always walked around

with his hand on his stomach.

Well, he was also a little guy, and he went around

trying to prove how big he was by fighting everybody.

Did he win?

Nope.

Just like you, he got clobbered.

So I-I really don't think that fighting is the answer.

Do you, Bob?

Not if you lose.

Some of the greatest men in the world

were small men who didn't fight.

What did they do?

They used their brains, not their muscles.

Brainpower.

I'll get some more cold water.

Brainpower, huh?

You want to shoot a few baskets?

I can't.

What are all the big books for?

To read.

I know that, you dumbhead.

Where'd you get them?

At the library.

I'm on my way to brainpower.

Brainpower?

What do you mean?

If you had any, you'd know. ( scoffs )

Jan, Marcia, you like to watch TV.

Mm-hmm.

Bet you don't even know how it works.

Bobby...

Television is an electronic system

of transmitting images over wire by converting light and sound

into electrical waves.

You really took a load off my mind.

Thanks.

Well Dad, how do you like it?

Well, I don't know much about surfboards, but it looks great.

I bet you don't know

what the fourth-longest river in the world is.

No. What is the fourth-longest river in the world?

The Ob in Siberia.

It's 3,200 miles long.

Well, that's very interesting.

Like I was saying, Dad,

there's nothing like surfing in the whole world.

First, you take off on a big thick swell, and once you got it

you crank on a bottom turn, you get out on the nose...

Oh, that sounds exciting.

Hey, Greg, I bet you don't know...

Wow, I'm gonna be late for work.

I got to get down to Sam's quick.

Dad, I'll clean this up when I get back.

Oh, gosh, I got to go, too. Good-bye, Bob.

Hey, I thought you'd gone with your mom

and the rest to get new shoes.

I don't need new shoes.

Not even my feet are growing bigger.

Hey, Bobby, do-do you have any more

of those terrific brainpower questions?

No.

Well, you sure had some real hard ones.

Big deal.

Knowing a lot is great,

but it sure isn't very fun.

Well, Bobby, could be you've been working

too hard on one thing.

What do you mean?

Well, you need a balance. It's like a recipe.

You've got to have the right amount

of each ingredient for it to come out right.

And I've been putting in too much brainpower?

Exactly.

Oh, and speaking of recipes,

there's something wrong with my brainpower.

I forgot to get sausage

for my special meat loaf tonight.

Better call Greg to bring home two pounds of sausage.

I can do it for you, Alice.

Oh, thanks, honey. It's easier for Greg to bring it.

You probably think I'm too little

to go down there by myself.

On second thought, since I'm going out tonight

the sooner I get my sausage, the sooner I'll get my Sam.

Okay, go, Bobby.

Great. I'll get back real fast.

And the porterhouse and the veal

go to Mrs. Stevens at 231 Elm.

You got that?

Got it.

Anything else?

Yeah, don't get lost.

I'm closing the shop at 6:00 sharp tonight.

I'm taking Alice to the Destruction Derby.

Last time we almost got destroyed trying to find seats.

Hey, Sam, if you want to get an early start, I could close up.

Switch? Hey, that's a good idea.

I could make your deliveries on the way home.

We'll swap, and you close up.

Do you think you can handle it? Easy.

I take any phone orders that come in... Right.

I put the meat in the locker so I can clean the counters,

turn the lights out and lock the door at 6:00.

( chuckles ) That's right.

And remember what I told you about that meat locker, right?

Right.

And thanks again for the advance, Sam.

Ah... Someday I'll let you ride my surfboard.

No, thanks.

I get seasick taking a bath.

Hi, Bobby.

What are you doing here?

Alice needs two pounds of sausage.

Okay. I put all the meat away.

I'll have to get it out of the locker.

( door slams )

What did you do that for?

Do what?

Close the door.

It doesn't have a two-way lock.

I didn't want to let the cold out.

Bobby, Sam's got a rule:

This door's supposed to be open

when anybody's in here.

You mean we're locked in?

Unless we can get this door open.

Push.

It's no use.

We can't get out.

I'm freezing.

Look, you're not freezing.

It's not that cold in here.

If you want to keep warm, exercise.

Must be ten below in here.

Oh, it's ten below in your head.

Bobby, I said exercise,

not jump around like you had ants in your pants.

( sighs )

The air.

What air?

We'll be breathing it all up pretty soon.

We'll suffocate.

( panting ): I can feel it already.

Bobby, quit pretending like this is a submarine movie.

Just sit down and relax.

Look!

Maybe we can open the door with this.

Stand back.

Stand back.

Oh, great.

Don't worry, don't worry.

I-I've got another idea.

What are you going to do?

Just watch.

Help me.

Come on.

Push.

Stand back, Bobby.

This is our last chance.

Push over those boxes.

Here.

Now if I could just crawl through and open the door...

( grunting )

It's no use.

I'm too big.

( panting )

It's up to you to save us, Bobby.

I sure hope I'm small enough.

Gee, I never thought I'd ever wish I was little.

Easy does it.

( grunting )

I got your feet.

Be careful.

Hold on, hold on!

GREG: Go on.

BOBBY: I made it!

Okay, open the door.

Come on, Bobby.

You broke it when you hit it with the ax.

Oh, no...

Call Sam, quick!

He's over at our house picking up Alice.

I don't have a dime.

Wait a minute.

Boy, that's an awful cold dime.

If you think the dime's cold, how do you think I feel?

( dings )

Hey, Greg, you ought to keep your head sticking out.

It's nice and warm out here.

We'll have you out in a second, son.

I'm okay.

Sam, your meat locker works great.

Oh, Greg, how do you feel?

( grunting ) Fine.

Careful. Okay, that's it.

Open it... Oh, thank goodness.

Thank heaven. You okay?

Oh, I think he's all right, honey.

I feel like a side of beef.

Well, we got to get you home and into a hot tub.

I had to go and forget sausage.

Boy, that settles it.

No matter what it costs

I'm modernizing that meat locker.

It was our own fault, Sam.

Thanks, Bobby.

You saved my life.

Remember, you saved mine?

Now we're even.

Boy, am I glad I'm little.

So am I, pal, so am I.

Okay, Bobby, now you've got your big, thick swell.

Right! Okay, crank out a bottom turn.

Now, get out on the front of the board.

Yeah, yeah, that's good. Now what do I do?

GREG: You're locked in, there's this huge

wall of water hanging right over your head!

But look out, Bobby!

It's a wipeout! Here comes

the wave!