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♪ Here's the story ♪
2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,239
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
3
00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:07,607
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
4
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,210
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
5
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:13,046
♪ All of them had
hair of gold ♪
6
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:14,681
♪ Like their mother ♪
7
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:17,784
♪ The youngest one
in curls ♪
8
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:21,821
♪ It's the story
of a man named Brady ♪
9
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:25,692
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
10
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:29,462
♪ They were four men
living all together ♪
11
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:32,098
♪ Yet they
were all alone ♪
12
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:36,236
♪ Till the one day
when the lady met this fellow ♪
13
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:39,739
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
14
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:43,676
♪ That this group
must somehow form a family ♪
15
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:47,347
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
16
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,649
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
17
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,818
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
18
00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:58,191
♪ That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch. ♪
19
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:07,033
♪ ♪
20
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:30,123
CAROL:
Bobby, come on!
21
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:01,988
♪ ♪
22
00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,476
That guy's been
following us
23
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,744
all over the market.
24
00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:26,446
JAN:
Why does he keep
looking at us
25
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:27,547
through his hands?
26
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:30,049
Just ignore him,
and let's get going.
27
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,290
Hi, there.
28
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,792
Oh, you are it,
you are really it.
29
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,561
We are what?
30
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:44,063
Yeah, I've been looking
for weeks, for months.
31
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,231
Oh, this is exactly right.
32
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:46,766
The whole ball of wax.
33
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,336
Uh, look,
I'm a TV director.
34
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:53,106
Here, read this
and then we'll rap.
35
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:56,309
"Skip Farnum Film Enterprises"?
36
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,410
Yeah, that's my company.
37
00:02:57,443 --> 00:02:58,478
We make commercials.
38
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,445
Commercials?
39
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:00,747
FARNUM:
Yeah, TV commercials.
40
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:01,648
For the big tube.
41
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,017
Well, look,
we want you and your kids
42
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,351
and your husband all on TV
43
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,554
selling our
groovy product "Safe"--
44
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:10,623
the greatest little
laundry soap in the world.
45
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:13,426
Us, in a TV commercial?
46
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:14,427
Yeah.
47
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,196
Wow, that would
be so much fun!
48
00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:20,099
( kids talking excitedly )
49
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:25,772
MARCIA:
Alice!
Yeah?
50
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:27,273
I'll help in a minute.
51
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,409
I've just got to tell Jane
the fantastic news!
52
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:30,743
Oh, no you don't!
I got the phone first!
53
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:31,744
What fantastic news?
54
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,046
Alice, you won't
believe it!
55
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,214
It's crazy!
Wait till I tell Mike.
56
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:35,315
I'll believe it,
I'll believe it, what?!
57
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:36,783
Alice,
did you hear about it?
58
00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:38,685
Yeah, I heard all about it
except what it's all about.
59
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,086
We're going to be
on television!
60
00:03:40,119 --> 00:03:41,721
You're going
to be on television?
61
00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:43,656
Hey, you're going to
be on television?
62
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,191
Yeah, we're gonna
do a commercial
63
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,360
for a funny man who
looks through his hands!
64
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,696
Looks through his hands?
65
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,200
And you're going
to shoot the commercial
66
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,069
right here in our house,
Mr. Farnum?
67
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:57,837
Yeah, I got to lay on
a little realism--
68
00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,572
you know,
the natural look.
69
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:02,609
Read, enjoy--
I got to go scan the pad.
70
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,724
Wow, look at the size
of that contract
71
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,158
for a one-minute commercial.
72
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,127
Yeah...
73
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:25,064
You'd think we were doing
Gone with the Wind.
74
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,638
Oh! Groovy!
75
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,717
Whoa! Who are you pussyct?
76
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:48,254
Um, uh. Well. I'm Pussycat
Alice.
77
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:53,259
Oh, that face! Like Frida. It's
organic!
78
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,728
Oh, you're definitely in the
commercial pussycat.
79
00:04:55,762 --> 00:05:03,236
Oh! That's who you are, Mr.
Farnum.
80
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:05,171
Uh, did Mr. Farnum go?
81
00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:07,607
Um, no, he's around here
somewhere,
82
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,709
um, scanning the pad.
83
00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:12,512
Dad, I hate to be crass
about a thing like this,
84
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:15,014
but does that contract
mention anything about loot?
85
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,583
We get paid, yes.
86
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:18,618
Out of sight.
87
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,153
Is it a lot?
88
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:23,356
Well, uh, considering
the amount of work we do,
89
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:26,359
um, yeah, it's
out of sight.
90
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:26,993
Wow!
91
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:27,493
Wait a minute,
mister.
92
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,295
The money we make
93
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,031
is going into all
our savings accounts.
94
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:35,435
Maybe we could just have
some of it now,
95
00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,537
for something
a little special?
96
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,706
Maybe just a little,
Mike?
97
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:42,542
Well, maybe a little.
98
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:43,576
Thanks, Dad.
99
00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:45,211
Look at that amplifier!
100
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:48,581
That must cost a bundle
101
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,583
Ah, maybe a couple hundered
dollars.
102
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:52,085
You're dreaming.
103
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:53,386
Nope, I am BUYING!
104
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:57,190
With what!? Your own money?
105
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,726
The money we make from doing
that TV commercial. Dad says we
can have a little of it now.
106
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:02,628
You call a couple hundered
dollars a "little?"
107
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:07,767
A drop in the bucket! You make a
fortune on a TV commercial!
108
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,603
Ah! I can buy that neat electric
train I want.
109
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:13,439
I bet I could have a mini-bike.
110
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:17,310
After this commercial, we do
another one! We'll make
thousands.
111
00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:18,644
Millions!
112
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:20,646
Maybe more.
113
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,048
I'm so excited about being in a
commercial.
114
00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:24,484
Me too.
115
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:33,326
Whats the matter with me!? I
don't have dates anymore. Could
it be my - breath?
116
00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:36,662
I used to have the same trouble.
Now I use "Dazzle"
117
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:42,568
It kills everything in your
mouth, including your gums!
118
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,537
My trouble is, my curls just
wont stand up in the rain.
119
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,572
they get all frizzled.
120
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:56,616
Next time, try "Spring". It
winds your curls up s tight it
lifts you right off the ground!
Like that!
121
00:06:56,649 --> 00:07:07,493
Next time, try "Spring". It
winds your curls up s tight it
lifts you right off the ground!
Like that!
122
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:11,764
Oh honey, aren't you finished
yet?
123
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,566
( exasperated sigh )
124
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:16,335
I tell ya,
I cannot make head nor tails
125
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,504
out of this show business
legal double talk.
126
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:21,107
I think I better
have our attorney check it.
127
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,543
All of that just to
sell a little soap?
128
00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:26,546
Oh, yeah,
but not just soap, honey-- Safe.
129
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,181
Oh, a thousand
pardons, sir.
130
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:29,715
The next time I
mention another brand,
131
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:31,617
I'll wash my mouth
out with Safe.
132
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:34,253
Well,
to tell you the truth,
133
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,255
I don't know how you tell
134
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,524
all those brands apart,
you women.
135
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:39,759
Well, it isn't easy.
136
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,694
You know, we used to
use Clear and Bright
137
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:42,795
until we found out
138
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,430
it turned our water
dim and dark.
139
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,665
And that's when
we switched.
140
00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:46,732
To what?
Help!
141
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,100
Except we found out
142
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,569
that Help didn't help.
143
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:53,339
And so that's when we turned
to Champ, the Dirt Fighter.
144
00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:54,540
Oh, not Champ, the Dirt Fighter.
145
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,309
( grunting )
146
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,712
Yes, but we found out that Champ
couldn't take the Brady dirt
147
00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:02,181
and lost the title.
148
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,450
And-- don't keep me in suspense.
149
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,752
Well, then
that's when we switched to Best.
150
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:07,987
When did you
start using Safe?
151
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,088
Oh, I forgot, uh...
152
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,756
right between Champ
and Best.
153
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,124
Hold it, honey,
154
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,261
you mean,
we switched from Safe to Best?
155
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:16,496
Right, because Best
156
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:17,396
is best.
157
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:18,231
Well, yeah,
but how are we going to get up
158
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:20,500
in front of millions
of people and lie?
159
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,034
What do you mean?
160
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,403
Well, look, we can't
do a commercial about Safe
161
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,439
if you're still using Best.
162
00:08:26,472 --> 00:08:28,608
What, do you mean to say
163
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:31,177
that all those people
that do commercials
164
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,512
really use the products?
165
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:35,481
Well, I don't know,
but I think they should.
166
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,451
At least I think we should,
because otherwise it's a fraud.
167
00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:41,220
Gee, I never really
thought of it like that.
168
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,455
You know what?
What?
169
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:44,490
I think I had better
call up Mr. Farnum
170
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,459
and tell him it's off.
171
00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,427
Oh, Mike.
172
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:52,198
Oh, the kids are going
to be so disappointed.
173
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,404
It's a bummer.
174
00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:00,172
Yeah, we
practically had
175
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,575
all that money
right in our hands.
176
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,176
Why would I be a fraud?
177
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,646
I don't even use
any kind of laundry soap.
178
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,147
That's not the point.
179
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:09,515
If we're all
in the commercial,
180
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,151
it's like we're all saying
something that's not true.
181
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,620
Get it?
182
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:17,657
Gee, one minute
we're millionaires,
183
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:20,393
the next minute
we're broke again.
184
00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:23,996
You know, Alice,
185
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:26,399
I think we set a record
186
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,501
for the shortest career
in show business.
187
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:29,769
Yeah.
188
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:33,005
For one, brief,
shining moment there
189
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:37,276
I was Pussycat Alice.
190
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:40,479
( phone rings )
191
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,115
Brady residence.
192
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,584
Hi, Mr. Brady.
193
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,552
Yeah, she's right here.
194
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,522
Hi, honey.
195
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,190
Carol, I just called Farnum
196
00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:53,392
to tell him
the commercial was off.
197
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,361
I hope he wasn't
angry with us.
198
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:56,662
No, no, no, not at all.
199
00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:59,699
Uh, but he did tell me
something important.
200
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,200
What?
201
00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:03,269
We've never used Safe.
202
00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:05,371
Honey, we went through
all that last night.
203
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:06,372
I told you I did...
204
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:07,540
No, not this Safe.
205
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:08,674
You used the old one.
206
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,209
This is the new
and improved Safe.
207
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:11,477
Just came on the market
last week.
208
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,179
New and improved?
209
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:14,680
Right,
and if we've never used it,
210
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,449
maybe it is better than Best.
211
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:19,485
Then we just test them both
and find out.
212
00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:20,553
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
213
00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:22,622
Then it would be perfectly
fair and honest, right?
214
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,524
Right, and if Safe
washes cleaner than Best,
215
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,360
we do the
commercial, right?
216
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:28,728
Yeah, right.
217
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:30,229
Oh, that's great, honey.
218
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:33,299
Bye.
219
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:34,700
Alice, round up the kids.
220
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,103
We've got a Brady
wash-a-thon coming up.
221
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,204
A wash-a-who?
222
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:39,372
Yeah, there's going
to be a showdown
223
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:40,840
at the old
washing machine.
224
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:42,241
Safe against Best.
225
00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:45,411
And may the
better soap win.
226
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,422
Okay, now, you all know what
you're supposed to do, right?
227
00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:58,124
KIDS:
Right.
228
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,493
Well, kids, I never thought
I'd be saying this,
229
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:03,663
but I want you to go outside
and get dirty.
230
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,031
Okay!
231
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:06,032
All right!
232
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,299
GREG:
You asked for it.
233
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,235
Now, Alice, you're the
only one who will know
234
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:11,203
which clothes you washed
with which soap.
235
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:12,638
And your lips
are sealed, okay?
236
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,808
Oh, sealed...
( mumbling )
237
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:19,045
Okay, Pete, let me have it.
238
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:20,279
My pleasure, sir.
239
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,351
( laughing )
240
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,456
Okay, that ought
to be enough.
241
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:31,757
Pete, that's enough.
242
00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:39,331
Make it real mushy.
243
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,466
I will.
244
00:11:40,499 --> 00:11:41,667
Okay, that looks good.
245
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,570
Okay, remember, smush it
all over each other.
246
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:45,571
Okay, ready?
247
00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:46,605
Ready.
Ready.
248
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,808
Get your hands in there.
249
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,379
One, two, three... smush!
250
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:58,417
( laughing and squealing )
251
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,325
Are you ready?
252
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:07,293
Ready.
253
00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:08,327
On your mark...
254
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,328
Get set...
255
00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:10,296
Go!
256
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:13,132
( screaming happily )
257
00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:16,368
( laughing and squealing )
258
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:26,679
Oh, hi, honey.
259
00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:28,781
You're just in time
for the judging.
Mm.
260
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,249
On the left is pile "A,"
261
00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:32,284
and on the right
is pile "B."
262
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,320
Which one do you think
is the cleanest?
263
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:35,387
Well...
264
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,589
( chuckles )
265
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,499
Well, uh...
266
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:47,633
Well?
267
00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:48,801
I'd say pile "A."
268
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:51,270
Well, then,
that makes it unanimous.
269
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:53,205
I vote for pile "A."
270
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,241
Well, Alice, which
soap is Safe--
271
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,076
"A" or "B"?
272
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,577
The winner is...
273
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:02,081
the envelope, please.
274
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,688
The winner is...
275
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,659
Well, it says pile "A,"
276
00:13:13,692 --> 00:13:16,395
but I can't remember
whether pile "A"
277
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:18,798
is Best or Safe.
278
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,200
Oh, no.
279
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:23,536
What are we gonna
do about it?
280
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:25,638
Oh, no problem, Mr. Brady.
281
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:29,642
Kids, put your old clothes
back on and dirty up again.
282
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:35,314
MIKE:
Well, this time I say pile "B."
283
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:36,215
Pile "B."
284
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:37,616
Unanimous again.
285
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,585
Okay, the winner is...
286
00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:42,054
pile "B" is Safe.
287
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,489
Then we do the commercial.
288
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:46,692
TV, here we come!
289
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,600
Well, there you are,
Mr. Farnum.
290
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:57,069
We're all signed,
sealed and delivered.
291
00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:58,170
Out of sight.
292
00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,305
Everything checks
out, Skip.
293
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,606
No problems,
easy to light.
294
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,274
Crazy.
295
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,375
Okay, you folks
study your script.
296
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,244
We're gonna be here Saturday
morning bright and early
297
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:06,278
to grind the cameras.
298
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:07,246
Come on, man, let's split.
299
00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:08,681
Hey, now, listen,
are you sure...?
Uh...
300
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,282
Mr. Farnum, excuse me.
301
00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:12,451
Uh, do you think
we might get a chance
302
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:13,652
to rehearse the script?
303
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,020
Yeah, 'cause,
you know,
304
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:16,121
we've never
done this before.
305
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:17,289
Hey, come on,
cool it, man.
306
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:18,257
Listen, don't worry
about a thing.
307
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:19,425
You just learn
those lines
308
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,659
and leave the
rehearsing to me.
309
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,261
Ciao.
310
00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:23,128
Right this way, Skip.
311
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:24,563
Yeah, cool.
312
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,168
Hey, that "no rehearsal" bit
is just great.
313
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,303
You really
got it up here, Skip.
314
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,205
Man, I got it
everywhere.
315
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,241
And it's a real natural
family, too.
316
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:36,575
Cool. And that's the way
317
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:40,179
they're going
to stay, dig?
318
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,580
I'm getting cold feet.
319
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,816
Cold feet?
320
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:51,156
Yeah, have you read this thing?
That's not going to be easy,
doing all this.... what we're
supposed to be doing.
321
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:52,491
You mean holding up a box of
Soap?
322
00:14:52,524 --> 00:15:03,202
NO, I mean holding it up and
not looking like we're....
stupid.
323
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,270
What?
324
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:07,206
You know Laura's cousin is
actress. Mirna Carter.
325
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,807
Oh, yes. Fair enough.
326
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:12,444
No, she calls herself Mirna...
well, she's not important or
anything like that.
327
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:17,216
but why can't we call her and
ask for a few tips?
328
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,251
Great! Come on, call her.
329
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:24,590
Hi Honey!
330
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:27,059
Heres that box of Safe you
wanted from the market.
331
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,794
Thanks, Dear. Just in time.
332
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:31,196
I was down to my last cup of
Safe.
333
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,064
So was the market.
334
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,400
Safe really outsells
all other brands.
335
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,369
That's because Safe cleans
all things better all ways.
336
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:39,338
I just couldn't do
without Safe.
337
00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:41,674
It's the only brand
I feel safe with.
338
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:46,712
( chuckles nervously )
339
00:15:46,745 --> 00:15:49,214
No, no...
340
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:52,217
Kids, I'm sorry,
but it's all wrong.
341
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,219
Oh, Mierna,
I'm so glad we called you.
342
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:55,721
Would you please
tell us what to do?
343
00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:57,156
Yeah, what's wrong?
344
00:15:57,189 --> 00:15:59,258
Well, you know,
you're just reading it.
345
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,660
No one's going to believe it,
you know what I mean?
346
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:05,197
Um, you're not motivated.
347
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:06,131
motivated?
348
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:09,068
how do you mean?
349
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:12,738
Oh, well - uh, I mean like -
your attitude when you say your
lines.
350
00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:17,409
What are you thinking, how do
you feel?
351
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,111
I never thought
of all that.
352
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,679
I didn't, either.
353
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,182
That's important?
354
00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:24,550
Important?
355
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:28,020
Oh, wow, like... like,
motivation is everything.
356
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,321
I mean, it's what gives
357
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:32,691
the meaning and the emotion
to acting, you know?
358
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,193
Could we try it again?
359
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:36,428
Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure.
360
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:38,664
What you're saying...
361
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,100
Michael, Michael, um...
362
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:44,169
Michael, you think
about it this way:
363
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:48,073
You think about all
the guys at your office
364
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:49,141
and how they've
been telling you
365
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,143
how great
your shirts look.
366
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,045
Mike, how clean.
367
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:55,147
And that makes you
proud, Mike, proud,
368
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,616
because you know
it's because of Safe.
369
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:58,684
You see, Mike?
370
00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:02,087
That's the motivation,
like, the attitude, right?
371
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:03,422
Yeah, right, yeah.
372
00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:06,058
Okay, okay, so you think
about being at the office.
373
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,326
Yeah, yeah.
374
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,363
And, Carol, Carol,
you're thinking...
375
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:13,766
you're thinking, "Wow,
376
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:18,170
he brought me a
box of that stuff."
377
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,371
and that makes you happy.
378
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:23,242
because your husband is proud of
the way you wash his shirts.
379
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:26,045
Haha - ok. I'll try.
380
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:33,619
Good Good! And remember. Lots of
energy! Keep it up there,
acting is bigger than life!
381
00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:34,453
Listen, Myrna...
382
00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:35,354
Mierna.
Mierna.
383
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,122
Uh, Mierna,
384
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:38,791
I don't think I can do this.
385
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:41,026
Oh, no, no, no.
386
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,095
You're doing fine.
387
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,696
You're getting it.
Really, you are.
388
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,799
Hey, Mike...
Mike, the seed is there.
389
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:49,034
All you have to do
is let it grow, you know?
390
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,335
Let it grow, right?
391
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:51,537
Okay,
now let's try it again.
392
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,771
And remember,
393
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,706
up there, energy.
394
00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:04,716
Hi, honey.
395
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,986
Here's that box
of Safe you wanted
396
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:08,687
from the office.
397
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,855
Uh, the market.
398
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:13,625
CAROL ( loudly ):
Thanks, dear and just in time!
399
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,995
I was down
to my last cupful of Safe.
400
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,230
So was the market.
401
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:22,167
Boy, it really outsells
all other brands.
402
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:23,502
Good, good, good,
403
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:24,603
good, that's really good.
404
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:25,704
Only,
a little bit bigger, though.
405
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,473
Because you gotta...
you gotta grab that audience,
406
00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:28,707
you know what I mean?
Bigger?
407
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,075
Yes. One more time now.
408
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,076
Come on.
409
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,077
Okay.
410
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:32,778
Give me my Safe.
411
00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:34,379
MIKE:
Hi, honey.
412
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:35,681
Here's the box of Safe
413
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,449
that you wanted
from the market.
414
00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:39,651
Hmm, motivation, huh?
415
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:41,320
Bigger than life, hmm?
416
00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:45,023
I think I'm going to try
some of that myself.
417
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,125
Parents, kids...
418
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:47,593
Housekeeper.
Housekeeper, yeah.
419
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:50,095
In that order: parents,
kids, housekeeper.
420
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,196
Groovy. Okay, good.
421
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:52,364
Okay, go now team,
422
00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:53,765
I want you to listen
to what I'm laying down.
423
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,567
Now, love, you're over there
at the counter,
424
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:56,735
see, you're making
with the greenery.
425
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:58,670
Then, pops,
you come flipping in,
426
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,439
and you lay this box of
flakes on the little lady,
427
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,007
then you have
a little rap session,
428
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,041
and then we cut, dig?
429
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,143
I think so.
Groovy.
430
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:05,244
Excuse me,
Mr. Farnum,
431
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,645
but when do we
get to rehearse?
432
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,147
Oh, we're not going
to rehearse.
433
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:09,448
Oh, don't worry.
434
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,016
Now trust me, pussycat,
it's just going to be great.
435
00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:12,117
Just going to be great.
436
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,118
Here, you stand over here.
437
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,186
Now just trust me.
438
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,287
Groovy, groovy.
439
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,356
Oh... my rock.
440
00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:18,991
Come on, let's make film.
441
00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:22,027
Let me check the shot.
442
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:28,400
Yeah, groovy.
443
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:31,003
Okay, let's crank one up.
444
00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:32,771
Okay, kids,
right in there.
445
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:34,439
Rolling.
446
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:35,541
Speed.
447
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,609
Action.
448
00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:41,113
( stiffly ):
Hi, honey.
449
00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:42,514
Here's that box of Safe
450
00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:44,783
that you wanted
from the market.
451
00:19:44,816 --> 00:19:46,485
Wow...
452
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:49,054
And just in time.
453
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:53,091
I was down
to my last cupful of Safe!
454
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:56,695
Cut!
455
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:58,730
Stop.
456
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,465
Stop, stop.
457
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:03,035
What was that?
458
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:05,070
I mean,
where's that Mrs. America
459
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,705
that I dug
in the parking lot?
460
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:08,774
And you, pops, my rock.
461
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:11,610
Man, you look like you flew in
from a feather factory.
462
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:14,079
I was motivating.
463
00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:16,515
I was thinking of
the boys in the office.
464
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:17,783
What boys in the office?
465
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:19,651
The ones who
keep telling me
466
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,053
how clean my shirts are.
467
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,187
Yeah, and I was thinking,
468
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,190
"Wow, he brought me
a box of that stuff."
469
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,492
Oh, you're putting me on, right?
470
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:29,728
Well, I was working
on an attitude.
471
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:31,163
Me, too.
472
00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:32,364
Attitude?
473
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:35,100
Well, I'll give you
an attitude: relax.
474
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,269
Look, come in here
for one minute, will you?
475
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,705
Just go in there
and cool it, all right?
476
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:42,174
Now just unwind,
just sit down and unwind,
477
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:45,777
and I'll get back to you
in a minute.
478
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,746
Hey, man, are
the kids ready?
479
00:20:47,779 --> 00:20:48,647
The kids are ready, Skip.
Groovy.
480
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,749
All right, let's move it,
now, in a hurry.
481
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:51,617
Are the kids ready?
482
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:53,352
KIDS:
Ready!
All right, let's move it.
483
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:54,686
I don't know what happens
when you put a camera
484
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:55,854
on a bunch of squares--
they just flip out.
485
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,222
Baby, baby,
just cool it.
486
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,191
It's going to be fine.
Yeah, okay, okay.
487
00:20:59,224 --> 00:21:00,292
Okay, great, great.
488
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,294
Okay, kids, be ready now.
489
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:03,462
All right.
490
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:04,596
Rolling.
491
00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,631
Speed.
492
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:06,698
Action.
493
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,241
Cut, cut, cut!
494
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:20,145
Kids, what's with
all this dirt?
495
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:22,748
We were supposed to be
out playing, Mr. Farnum.
496
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,316
In a swamp?
497
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:27,352
Well, we made ourselves
extra dirty on purpose.
498
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:32,824
We were motivated.
499
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:35,093
Motiv... oh, man.
500
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,262
Nobody up there digs me.
501
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:39,731
Come on, out, out.
502
00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:40,699
Get out now, now.
503
00:21:40,732 --> 00:21:42,367
Get yourself
cleaned up.
504
00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:44,369
Now, dirty okay,
but blech, no.
505
00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:46,238
Out, come on, come on.
506
00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:48,707
Let's go, let's go, out.
507
00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:49,708
Hey, man, the housekeeper.
508
00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:50,776
Is the housekeeper ready?
509
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,411
Housekeeper's
ready, Skip.
510
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:53,612
All right, let's
move it back.
Come on, move it.
511
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,213
Is the housekeeper
ready?
512
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,415
Come on, let's go, let's go.
513
00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:57,616
It's costing bread,
don't you understand?
514
00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,785
Take it easy, Skip.
Okay, all right,
515
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:01,253
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
516
00:22:01,286 --> 00:22:03,655
All right, housekeeper,
be ready now. Be ready.
517
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:05,123
ALICE:
Ready.
Rolling.
518
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,191
Speed.
519
00:22:06,224 --> 00:22:07,626
Action.
520
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:22,374
Oh, no, no, stop, stop, cut!
521
00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:23,575
Did I do something wrong?
522
00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:26,244
What was that,
the dance of the good fairy?
523
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:27,779
And what's
with that spaghetti?
524
00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:29,181
Look, I was motivating.
525
00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:30,482
Motivating!
526
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:32,584
Well, I figured that Safe
washed clothes so fast
527
00:22:32,617 --> 00:22:34,753
I had time to go
to the beauty parlor.
528
00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:40,459
Okay... now I'm motivating.
529
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,561
Everybody, everybody
come in here, please.
530
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:43,695
Everybody in here.
531
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:50,502
Now, look, I want you to know
that this whole gig is off.
532
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:53,605
Kaput! I mean,
the whole thing is a washout.
533
00:22:55,741 --> 00:22:58,276
My nice, natural family
is just a bunch of ding-a-lings.
534
00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:00,379
We were only trying
to be helpful, Mr. Farnum.
535
00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:01,680
We took some acting lessons.
536
00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:03,382
We just wanted to be
bigger than life.
537
00:23:03,415 --> 00:23:05,050
Well, you'll be bigger,
but not in my life.
538
00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:06,118
Now come on, get out.
539
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:07,285
Out. Out of my house.
All of you.
540
00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:08,320
This is my house.
541
00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:09,621
Hmm? Oh.
542
00:23:09,654 --> 00:23:12,157
Come on, man,
let's split.
543
00:23:12,190 --> 00:23:13,158
Wrap it up.
544
00:23:13,191 --> 00:23:14,292
Hey, wait a minute.
545
00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:16,428
You know,
this whole scene reminds me
546
00:23:16,461 --> 00:23:18,663
of that horrible actress
we worked with?
547
00:23:18,697 --> 00:23:20,265
What was...?
Mierna Carter.
548
00:23:20,298 --> 00:23:21,433
That's the nut--
Myrna Carter!
549
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:22,667
No, Mierna.
550
00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:24,436
FARNUM:
Mierna, Myrna,
I don't care!
551
00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:26,605
She blew my mind
back there...!
552
00:23:42,654 --> 00:23:44,256
Alice, would you come
here a minute, please?
553
00:23:44,289 --> 00:23:46,258
I still don't understand
554
00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:48,160
this special delivery
letter I got.
555
00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:49,327
It must be quite a letter.
556
00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:50,395
I think you've read it
557
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,596
at least six times
since this morning.
558
00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:53,165
Well, would you sit down
and listen to this?
559
00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:55,734
"In compliance with our
contractual agreement,
560
00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:57,202
"Skip Farnum
Film Enterprises
561
00:23:57,235 --> 00:23:59,137
"will meet its
obligation of payment.
562
00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:01,139
"As to manner of payment,
563
00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:03,608
we refer you to
Section 12, Article C,
564
00:24:03,642 --> 00:24:05,610
Paragraph 42 of contract."
565
00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:07,412
Now what do you
suppose they mean
566
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,613
by "manner of payment"?
567
00:24:08,647 --> 00:24:11,583
Sorry, Hungarian goulash
I understand.
568
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:13,118
Legal goulash I don't.
569
00:24:13,151 --> 00:24:14,619
Well, I guess we'll
just have to wait
570
00:24:14,653 --> 00:24:16,054
for Mr. Brady to get home.
571
00:24:16,087 --> 00:24:16,788
Maybe he'll know.
572
00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:18,657
( engine rumbling )
573
00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:23,728
What in the world...?
574
00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:25,564
One of you Mrs. Brady?
575
00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:27,032
I'm Mrs. Brady.
576
00:24:27,065 --> 00:24:28,667
Got a delivery for you.
577
00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:32,270
I don't remember
ordering anything.
578
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:35,106
Maybe Mr. Brady did.
579
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,509
Excuse me...
580
00:24:37,542 --> 00:24:41,379
( sighs )
581
00:24:41,413 --> 00:24:42,314
Sign here.
582
00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:46,051
What am I signing for?
583
00:24:46,084 --> 00:24:48,453
It's from
Farnum Film Enterprises.
584
00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:50,755
Safe laundry soap.
585
00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:54,059
( laughs )
586
00:24:54,092 --> 00:24:56,228
Guess what they meant
by "manner of payment"?
587
00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:57,496
48 boxes of soap?
588
00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:59,130
Down, Harry.
589
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:00,398
48 boxes?
590
00:25:00,432 --> 00:25:04,002
Lady, you got
2,000 boxes coming.
591
00:25:08,573 --> 00:25:10,008
Where do you want them?
592
00:25:12,077 --> 00:25:14,546
Where do you
want them, lady?
593
00:25:14,579 --> 00:25:17,249
Oh, Alice.
594
00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:28,093
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
595
00:25:28,126 --> 00:25:30,762
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
38360
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